


Everything I Knew

by MissJanuary



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: All Human, Divorce, Drama, F/M, Friendship, HEA, Humor, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-07
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-07 05:20:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 170,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/427312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissJanuary/pseuds/MissJanuary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella and Mike wed four years ago and their marriage hasn't exactly been the picture of bliss. A carefully guarded secret surfaces, nearly destroying an already fragile Bella. Everything she knew was a lie, everything she wanted for her life, wiped out with the click of a mouse. </p><p>Warning: There is mention of past sexual assault (no detail), crappy childhoods, an even crappier marriage, and some very prevalent social issues. </p><p>Excerpt: I looked at the clock again, 5:44.  Jesus Christ, did time stand still? Those fourteen minutes felt like fourteen hours.  As the moments ticked by, my palms began to sweat and a nervous pressure mounted in my chest. It's not the end of the world Bella; just the end of your marriage...and everything you knew. God, how was I going to do this? People up and left their spouses on a daily basis and never looked back. Of course, how many of them were under these same circumstances, I wondered.  How many women were faced with leaving the man they loved because he'd woven a lie so hurtful? When it finally surfaced, did it kill them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fear and Doubting in Port Angeles

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing but an over-active imagination. No copyright infringement is intended.*
> 
> This story is rated NC-17 for language, mature subject matter and lemons. Oh, and I feel like I need to drop a warning about the Canadian spelling too. Canon pairings, eventually. 
> 
> On a personal note, I’ve injected a lot of personal details in to this fic. Friends encouraged me to write about my experience, knowing damn well it would serve as a leaching ritual for me. Each chapter slowly draining the poison from my system. So I truly hope you enjoy the journey and stick with me through it.

 

 

**Chapter One**

**~~ ^ ~~**

**Fear and Doubting in Port Angeles**

**BPOV**

Reallybeautifulmen.com

Reallybeautifulmen.com?

 

I watched as the computer generated a list of websites, recently viewed and in many cases, frequently viewed.  Less than five minutes ago it had prompted me to re-start the computer because it was looking to remove temporary files and free up some disk space on the hard drive. 

So I sat there with my cup of peppermint tea and watched the list of websites scroll past.

Yahoo.com

Gossipcop.com

Youtube.com

Autismspeaks.org

VictoriasSecret.com

Washingtonpost.com

Portangelesschools.org

Seattle.Mariners.mlb.com

 

Then my eyes widened and a breath caught somewhere deep inside my chest.

 

Reallybeautifulmen.com

 

Who the hell had visited _that_ site? I racked my brain trying to remember if perhaps I’d visited that site.  _I don’t remember going to a site like this, but I suppose it’s possible._ Maybe on one of the many nights that Mike had been working late, after my second glass of red wine, I had.  “I’ll just check it out, see if it jogs my memory or something,” I said out loud, to no one.

 

I waited for the machine to finish what it was doing and then re-booted the computer again when it finally prompted me – nearly twenty minutes later. Yeah, I was feeling a little jumpy at this point.

 

I opened the browser, clicked on the address bar and typed in reallybeautifulmen.com. I held my finger over the enter button like a storm cloud waiting to destroy a perfectly sunny day.  I took a deep breath, clenching my eyes shut and let my tiny finger descend on the waiting key.  The sound of the key being depressed was loud; far too loud for such an insignificant act. It made my stomach curl in on itself.

 

After a few seconds I opened my eyes to a page full of men in various stages of undress, all exactly what the site proclaimed them to be, really beautiful.

 

I flipped through a few pages –pages upon pages- of chiselled men, all displaying their rather prominent hard-ons. None of it rang a bell in the slightest. 

 

_When the fuck would I have visited a site like this?_

_Why the fuck would I have visited a site like this?_

 

I took a sip of my rapidly cooling tea, my leg shaking nervously. I clamped my hand down on it, willing it to stop; but it kept right on going, shaking my whole body in the process. My mind whirled around in circles as I tried to find an explanation for the images before me.

 

“Mike couldn’t have been on this site,” I whispered into the hand that had found its way to my mouth.  “Not on purpose,” I mumbled, my finger absently tracing over the lines of my lips.

 

_No he must have accidentally clicked on it or something. Or maybe..._

My thoughts trailed into silence as I contemplated that scenario.

 

Could it have been an accident? Could he have slipped with the mouse? Sure, maybe. Why not? I’ve done it myself. Accidently clicked on an advertisement banner and end up looking at website for some ridiculous ‘As Seen on TV’ type product. _Sure, yes I think it must have been a slip of the mouse._ The voice in my head sounded uncertain and small despite my efforts to be confident in this explanation.

 

I shook my head to free it of the looping and growing doubt, and logged on to the Port Angeles School Board intranet to check my email. Most of it was union related junk. I clicked on the reply email from an incident report I’d filed with Dry Creek Elementary the day before.

 

As a Behaviour Specialist working mainly with children with Autism Spectrum Disorder, incident reports are pretty much a daily occurrence.  I read through the report and return comments posted by the school board’s current Clinical Psychologist, my mind flung picture after picture at me. I had to work to suppress the images and focus on what I was reading...

 

‘ ** _Given the sudden increase in the behaviour, what I believe you’ve rightfully determined to be an extinction burst; I recommend that you and the team assigned to Tyler continue with the newest protocol. If it is indeed an extinction burst we are witnessing, then I am confident that the targeted behaviour will soon end.  As always, if you require further guidance, please don’t hesitate to contact me.’_**

****

Right, so same old, same old tomorrow. Good, because the school year is almost over and writing and implementing a new behaviour protocol at this point would have been an immense pain in my ass.

 

Being done with that, I surfed through my Gmail account finding a rather hilarious, if only slightly inappropriate email from Rosalie, the very same professional who’s eloquent words just told me to keep up the good work –well, more or less.

 

As far as Clinical Psychologists went, Rosalie was fantastic. She had a wonderful way of cutting through bullshit and really getting down to the heart of a behaviour in a child. She was also a fierce advocate and team leader. Outside of work she was the saucy, smart mouthed, take no shit, bitch I’d met in my first year at university.  While she went on to get her masters in clinical psych, I went for behavioural psychology with an emphasis on special needs.

 

I love what I do; even on the days that a small, strong jaw is clamped down on one my body parts or a child is throwing juice in my face.  Sounds crazy, I know. What kind of person willingly signs up for that shit, right? Nothing a good rant with my best friend and Educational Assistant, Angela won’t fix. Bad day’s aside, it’s the days when the kid I’m working with suddenly learns a new skill. Even if it’s something simple like zipping up his coat without assistance, it’s learning all the same, and that’s what keeps me coming back.

 

Mike doesn’t understand it. All he sees are the bruises and scratches; the unpaid hours spent creating learning programs for the Educational Assistants to implement, and sometimes the days of frustration when those programs aren’t shaking down so hot. Mike doesn’t understand autism or learning disabilities. Mike understands numbers, revenue, merchandise, and customer service. That’s his world, Newton’s Olympic Outfitters- all your needs for the great outdoors. That’s what he understands.

 

What I didn’t understand was sitting behind a desk every day, crunching numbers and staring at inventory lists. But he loved it, so who was I to judge.

_Could it really have been a mistake?_

I slowly started to roll through the list of internet websites the program had generated and it struck me that _all_ of them were sites that either Mike or myself _frequented_.

 

Frequented.

 

The word percolated in my mind. _Frequented_ \- all sites that were visited on numerous occasions.

Panic suddenly gripped me. Ice shot through my veins and my stomach rolled. I made a beeline to the bathroom, having made it just in time to spill the remains of my dinner in to the toilet. I sat on the cool tiled floor for a few moments, pulling in deep but raged breaths. My throat burned and my stomach muscles were tight and sore from the sudden contraction. A thin layer of sweat coated my face, and my hands were trembling slightly.

 

Once I cleaned myself up I went back to the office, determined, somehow to find something that would silence my racing thoughts. I pulled up the user history and found with the exception of my surfing session this evening, the history was blank. _Strange_.

 

Next I went to the settings to see how often the history was set to delete. My mouth formed a small, tight ‘O’ when I saw that it had been set to clear with each session end. The only reason I saw today’s history listed was because I had yet to exit the browsing session- window was still open to my email in-box.

 

Nothing would ever be filed away in history; nothing would ever be found that way.  Someone set it up that way. Someone made sure there would be nothing to see. Again the images of men, oiled bodies, tiny underwear... no underwear, filtered through my brain.

 

A meagre and hollow “no” escaped my mouth. 

 

I quickly fixed the settings so that the history would be made available for one week before deleting. I trashed the junk mail and then closed the session out clicking on that red X in the corner. Then I opened a new page and checked the history, everything from this evening was still there. 

 

I pulled up my MSN Messenger and clicked on Rose, who, although often not home, was always online and reachable via instant message.

I quickly typed:

 

 ** _Rose, do you think Mike is gay?_** And hit send. 


	2. Rose & Wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing but an over-active imagination and some life experiences that desperately needed purging. No copyright infringement is intended.*
> 
> Oodles of thanks to the beta goddess Emilou who is not only efficient, but enthusiastic about this story, which is all an author could ask for. Thank you.
> 
> This chapter might be a little on the long side, so get comfy and thanks for reading.

**Chapter Two**

**~~ ^ ~~**

**Rose & Wine**

**RPOV**

_Buzz, buzz._

 

My phone wiggled across the night table on the opposite side of the bed.

 

“Emmett, grab my phone, babe,” I asked as his hot lips trailed wet kisses between my breasts.

 

He absently reached over and palmed the cell phone. “I rather you wrap your hand around my cock and never mind this damned phone,” he said as he placed the offending item in my waiting hand.

 

I looked down at him, face resting on my cleavage, and shot him my million dollar smile. “Thank you,” I muttered as I checked the message that had just been sent. “Ahh, shit!” I sat up, pushing Emmett’s big head to the side. I heard him grunt in frustration. _Oh well big boy, deal._

 

“’Ahh, shit’, what?” he huffed, sitting himself up and folding his arm’s cross his massive chest, an equally massive pout on his face.

 

“Bella just sent me an IM” I replied, my voice a tad tight.

 

“And?”

 

“She wants to know if I think Mike’s _gay_?” I didn’t mean for it to come out sounding like a question but my concern for my friend kind of took over, and my voice rose of its own volition. It was Emmett’s chuckle that sent my head whipping around and eyes set to glare.

 

“ _Now_ she’s asking if he’s gay? Wow, talk about slow on the up-take. The day I met that idiot I knew he was a member of the Rainbow Brite Brigade.”

 

I wound up and smacked his arm, hard. Pink welt marks immediately began to take form on the surface of his skin, and I almost felt bad for hitting him –almost.

 

“Emmett McCarty!” _He’d do well to rein that shit in if he knew what was best for him._

 

“What?  What self-respecting _straight_ man with a wife like Bella works the hours he works?  Seriously, Rose.” His voice was contrite and his stupid face matched the tone perfectly. Dumbass.

 

For a moment I got lost in thought, contemplating what he said, what he’d implied.

 

_Watching Mike open the door for Bella, she looked red-hot, but his eyes were scanning the room. Never once touching on her._

Emmett’s eyes were always firmly planted on my ass every chance he got, always perusing my body. I’d never seen Mike make such a move. That thought lead to others. _He never holds her close the way Emmett always does_.  Even their wedding night four years ago, he was content to chat it up with friends and family. I think they danced together twice. Bella avoided the dance floor much of the evening, but mostly out of fear that she’d fall and make a fool out of herself. But still they spent most of the night on opposite sides of the room.  

Such a vast contrast to my wedding two years ago —we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.  In fact any wedding I’d been to had been much the same; the bride and groom unwilling to separate.

 

My heart dove into my stomach as an answer to my dear friends question began to formulate. I typed out my response:

 

**‘ _Pick up the phone, we need to talk.’_**

****

**~~ ^ ~~**

****

**BPOV**

“Rose?” My voice squeaked as I answered the phone.

 

“Bella, why are you asking me that question? Are you serious?” She didn’t sound incredulous or confused, she sounded resigned, and _that_ made my knees shake and nearly give way. I plopped back down into the black leather office chair. It exhaled loudly, matching the huff that escaped me. Had the situation been different, I probably would have found it a little comical but right now it just grated on my nerves.

 

“Of course I’m fucking serious Rose!” I all but shouted in to my phone.

 

“Ok, ok, easy on the F-bombs, Bells. What happened to make you question Mike now?”

 

Her question caught me up just a little. ‘...question Mike now.’ _Now._ Obviously she was seeing a much bigger picture than I was.

 

“A website.  Reallybeautifulmen.com.” I explained.

 

“And you think he’s visited that site?”

 

I swallowed hard, tears prickling at my eyes. “Yes,” I whispered. I explained about the history and how none of the other websites listed were random. She listened attentively, hmm’ _ing_ and huh-uh’ _ing_ when appropriate.

 

“Rose, you never answered my initial question.” Though I was afraid to hear the answer, I waited with baited breath.

 

“Yes, Bella, I think your husband might be gay.”

 

My heart felt like a lead weight as it plummeted down into my stomach.  I dropped the phone and ran for the bathroom, again. Luckily there was nothing left to dispel, so what ensued was a series of full body dry heaves. Not exactly pleasant but definitely an upgrade from the full on puking.

 

Once my body stopped shaking and I could lift myself from the floor, I stumbled back to the office, my bare feet slapping against the polished hardwood floor. The sound of the disconnected call, beeping interspersed with an annoying women’s voice telling me to ‘please hang up and try your call again.’

 

I picked up the phone and crushed my finger down on the end button. Looking back to the computer screen before shutting down MSN I noticed a new IM from Rose.

 

**_I’m on my way. Got a bottle of wine with your name on it. Love, Rose._ **

****

I went back to the phone and dialled the staff hot-line at work to inform my team that I would not be in tomorrow. I sauntered down the stairs and to the living room where I collapsed to the comfy couch and waited. Ten minutes later the doorbell rang startling me from my revelry. I shuffled over to the front door, looking every bit the zombie I fucking felt like. 

 

I scanned the front porch and quirked and eyes brow in Rose’s direction, “What, no Emmett?”

 

“Nope, left him at home with a serious case of blue balls that he’d like me to thank you for.” She stepped forward, raising the bottle of wine like an offering.

 

I side stepped to allow her past. She kicked off her sparkly red heels and flitted down the hall.

 

“What, are you fucking Dorothy?” I gazed pointedly at the red pumps.

 

“Nah, can’t sing to save my life. Now get us two glasses, bitch.” Her bell tone voice carried down the hall toward the kitchen she was quickly headed for.

****

**_~~ ^ ~~_ **

**RPOV**

_Holy fuckin’ Hanna she looks like crap!_

I headed down the hall, Bella shuffling close behind.  She retrieved two wine glasses, placing one in front of me and the other at the seat across the table from me, then spun around and snagged a bag of nachos that had been neatly tucked into the corner of the cupboard she grabbed them from. “Nachos and red wine. Classy.”

 

“I figure if I’m going for a three-peat then the wine coming back won’t be so bad if it’s got a little substance to it.”

 

“I figured when I heard the phone drop that you’d high tailed it to the bathroom. So that was the second time you yacked?” She nodded and lowered her herself to the chair, and drove a chip into her mouth. We sat there quiet for a bit before she broke the silence. I knew she just needed time to work up to talking, I wasn’t going to push.

 

“Are you going to pour the wine, Rose, or is it just for show?”

 

_My, my someone sure is snarky tonight. Although I if I’d just figured out Emmett was staring in his very own Broke Back fantasies, I’d be a little fuckin’ snarky too._ So I shut my mouth and poured the wine.

 

“Mike’s working late?” I asked in an attempt to get the conversation going.

 

“No. He’s at a buyers convention thing. Two days. He’ll be back tomorrow night,” she explained. I couldn’t help but note the lack of care in her voice. She sounded dead, fucking looked it too. Bella’s always been pasty little thing, naturally pale, but now she looked deathly white. Like something had drained the life from her.

 

“Oh.” Cue crickets...

 

“So I married a gay man.”

 

And with that I nearly spat out my mouth of wine. I recollected myself and looked her in the eye. “Bella, are _you_ sure he is gay?”

 

“No. Yes...Shit! I don’t know, Rose,” she stammered, shaking her head. “Why would he marry me if he were, why would he waste so much time on me if I weren’t what he needed, what he wanted?”

 

“I don’t have answers to those questions, Bella, but what made you ask me?”  I asked, trying to draw out her own answers.

 

“When I saw the website it was like something inside of me clicked. And as very, very much as I’d like to deny it, it sounds right. Like the truth.” She ran her hand through her beautiful mahogany hair. As much as she said she longed for my golden tresses, I envied her long brown locks. Grass is always green and all that shit.

 

I wanted to help her navigate her way though this, so I asked, “What made it feel true?” I knew she knew what I was up to, she took some of the same courses I did. This was counselling at its most basic.

 

“Rose, there’s so much you don’t know about our relationship,” she said with such a sad voice that I couldn’t help but reach out and take hold of her hand. She smiled weakly at me and began. 

“Did you know that it was two days _after_ our wedding before we finally had sex? Did you know that the whole we time were dating he barely touched me?” 

 

I shook my head in answer and in sheer shock. 

 

She continued her rant, her words tumbling over each other like she couldn’t get it out fast enough. “When we make love, he makes me go up stairs to the bedroom and wait for him.  Ten, sometimes fifteen minutes later he comes in, turns out the lights and climbs on. A good half of the time I end up sore, dissatisfied and sometimes bleeding. No foreplay, just dry boring sex in the dark.”

 

My eyes brimmed over with tears for my friend. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to skin Mike alive! How can he treat her like that and think it’s okay? “Oh, Bella, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” _‘Cause had I known I would have happily held him down while Emmett beat the snot out of him._ Gay or not, that’s no way to handle your wife. 

 

“How could you be expected to know when I say nothing, Rose? You’re not a mind reader.” Her voice was even and rather matter-of-fact. It was a little disconcerting to be honest.

 

She peered up at me from her wine glass, her eyes were the very picture of sadness and hurt. But what was worse was that hint of betrayal I so clearly recognized there swimming just beneath the depths of milk chocolate eyes.  This was going to destroy her.

 

“Ya know when we were dating, at first I thought that maybe my not being a virgin intimidated him or something. That maybe that was why he held back with me. When I asked him he always said it never bothered him in the least. He said he just wanted to take it slow, so I dropped it.”

From what I knew of the Mike Newton and Bella Swan story, they’d met in high school when she moved from Phoenix to Forks, Washington after her mother remarried. Apparently Phil, the new step-dad, travelled lot for work coaching a minor league baseball team.

 

Bella was seventeen and the talk of the town. In an effort to make her feel a little less lonely and ease the transition, Charlie, Bella’s police chief father, re-introduced her to Jacob Black. The Black family were old family friends that Bella had spent some of her summers with growing up.  Bella and Jake became close, fast. They dated for a few months and a couple of months after her eighteenth birthday Bella handed him her V-Card. A culmination of raging teenage hormones and convenience as Bella once put it. They realized soon after that they were much better as friends, and they parted ways on very amicable terms. In fact they still talk on a regular basis. He was at their wedding with his girlfriend, Leah.

 

About a month later Mike asked Bella out and they’d been together ever since. Which brought me to my next question. “Bella, had Mike had any other girlfriends before you?”

 

“Um, yeah, Jessica Stanley. She adored Mike, followed him around like puppy. It was a short relationship and I always got the feeling that he was just humouring her. Jessica was kind of a vapid little thing. Intellectual conversation was not her forte. Great source of town gossip though.”

 

I contemplated and carefully constructed my next sentence. “Bella, why did you stay with him? If he wasn’t giving you what you needed?”

 

She released a heavy sign and shoved another chip her mouth before answering me. “Out of respect and love. He’d explained once – when I tried to talk to him about our sex life, or rather, lack thereof – that he was raised a certain way.  And that sex before marriage was not an option for him. I’d met his family at this point, and they definitely seemed to be pretty firmly planted in their Catholic faith. I took it at face value, and never brought it up again.  Because, Rose, had the rosary been in the other hand, I would have expected nothing less from him. I loved him, I would have done anything for him.” I didn’t think she realized the slip into past tense, but I wasn’t about to point it out.

 

 Knowing what I did about Bella, I knew this was nothing but the truth. She deeply cared for, respected and loved those that found their way into her life. There’s little she wouldn’t do for them, if it were in her power to do so.  One of the many reasons I loved the shit out of this woman. 

 

“I understand that.” And truly I did. I thought about Emmett and what I’d expect of him if I asked the same: to ask him to wait for me. I knew beyond a doubt that I’d be willing had he asked. No questions asked, I would have waited.

 

“Rose.” Her whisper soft voice sounded so downtrodden that I set the glass back down before it had even reached my lips. “He never finishes.” Suddenly she broke in to loud sobs, and her chest heaved, tears running down in salty torrents.

 

**_~~ ^ ~~_ **

**BPOV**

With her arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace she ran her fingers through my hair whispering soft soothing words in my ear.  A few moments later I could feel the air move in and out of my lungs again in even pulls. She pulled her chair closer and we sat knee to knee.

 

“He never finishes? Ever?” I knew she wasn’t trying to be a nosy bitch, I knew she was trying to draw it all out of me.  Leach it like some sick poison from my veins.

 

“No, never. What’s wrong with me, Rose? Victoria’s Secret is making a fucking _killing_ on me, yet I can’t even entice my husband in to bed! I can’t make him come. Hell I can’t even get pregnant. Such basic human function and I’m incapable of even that!” Abruptly, I was so enraged I threw the wine glass against the far wall of the kitchen, sending tiny shards of glass careening across the dark brown tiles. In the same moment I heard Rose suck in a sharp breath, and her glorious face turned into a twisted, sad grimace with her hands over her mouth.

 

“OH MY GOD! Is that why you did all those fertility drugs, and those goddamned IUI’s? The chances of Mike getting you pregnant were...not if he wasn’t...” Rose was at a loss for words and I felt like I’d lost my mind.

 

I nodded. “But none of it worked, Rose. Five IUI’s and nothing. It can’t have been _just_ him. Not after all that.” When I think about everything I went through over the last two years: the hormone injections, wicked mood swings and ridiculously vivid dreams. The disappointment and near crushing depression every time the procedure failed. An anger wormed inside of me, it was solid and hot and it burned low in my belly. _I was willing to do it all for him, because I loved him. I wanted a family with_ him _._

 

Then it occurred to me that every verb in that thought was past tense. Lov _ed_. Want _ed_. Something inside of me had already flipped the kill switch. Even though the theory was unsubstantiated at this point, something in me, some deep part of me knew it to be true.

 

“Rose, he’s hiding things from me. Big things. I want to know what he does on that computer when I’m not around.  What is it he doesn’t want me to see?” The idea of seeing what my husband was up to and knowing the truth beyond the shadow of a doubt wass both maddening and intriguing all at once. I bit down on my lower lip, and my leg began to bounce.

 

“Well, I can call Em, see what he can do for you.”  I nodded. Emmett was a computer whiz. He worked as a video game designer and was no slouch when it came to current software.

 

I watched Rose dial, and I rose from my chair to get the vacuum. I carefully made my way to the closet, tip toeing over the broken glass. I was forever grateful for the fantastic wet/dry vacuum my father had purchased as a house warming when we bought the house. In my constant state of clumsiness I was forever breaking and spilling things. To say that that machine got a good work out was a serious understatement. When I finished cleaning up the mess, Rose informed me that she called into work for tomorrow as well. I glanced at the clock, midnight, holy crap.

 

With a new glass Rose and I properly tucked in to the wine and by the time Emmett arrived she’d done a nice job of distracting me. I was even laughing a little. Emmett dropped an overnight bag for Rose at her feet and planted a kiss on the crown of her golden head. “Okay, Bella Bear, lead the way.” He made a grand sweeping gesture with his hand and I took off toward the office.

 

A few strokes and a couple clicks later and Em was downloading something called ReFrog. He spun in the chair and looked up at my obviously confused face. “Okay, so this is a key logger. Have heard of that before?” he asked, turning from side to side in the chair. Rose standing behind him, hands gripping his giant shoulders.

 

I shook my head. “Nope,” I said, popping the ‘P’ sound.

 

“All right, key loggers are like silent little super spies. It records everything you do on your computer, and saves the data for you to review. Key loggers record key strokes, take screen shot and log a bunch of other data like currently running programs, maintenance tasks and stuff like that. The best part of the whole thing is,” he quirked an eye brow and rubbed his hands together like maniacal fool, “it’s invisible.”

 

“Huh?  If it’s invisible how am I supposed to find it to access the data?”

 

“It’s accessed by a series of key strokes. Hot keys they call them. Once the program is finished downloading it will send you an email to tell you what hot keys open the program.  Then you set up a password so even if by some freak chance Mike happens to hit all those keys, in the right order, he’d still need a password to open the program. If you mess up the password more than three times it locks you out and you’ll need to contact the company to reset the password,” he finished, turning back to the screen.  The download was complete and Emmett navigated to my Gmail account and pushed away from the keyboard so that I could type in my password.  Sure enough sitting in my in-box: ReFrog Access Code.  I opened the email and memorized the three keys then deleted it.

 

“You sure you’ve got it, Bells?” Emmett asked.

 

“Yup. Like a steel trap,” I said, tapping my temple. I always had a pretty great memory, so I wasn’t worried about forgetting the keys.

 

Rose chuckled. “It’s true. Ask her what her locker number was in grade ten, bet she knows.”

 

I threw her a knowing smirk, “Of course I do. Number 213, west hall. Yellow. Next to the insufferable Lauren Mallory.”

 

They both burst out laughing. “Told you so,” Rose managed between chortles.

 

Emmett spent the next hour showing me how to use the program and how to set up the personal preferences. Screen shots and key strokes would provide the most accurate overview, according to Emmett. It was just after two in the morning when Emmett kissed his beautiful wife goodbye and headed home.

 

Soon enough I would have answers. Whether or not I was ready to deal with the outcome was another story all together. The prospect of taking action terrified me to no end. One click of that tiny, insignificant mouse and it could come crashing down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, ReFrog is a real product, one that I of course do not own the rights to, but have used.  
> Thanks to all that have continued to read, and feel free to review, tell me what you thought of Rose’s POV’s in this one. 
> 
> Also, if you’re interested I’ve got a rec’ I’d like to toss out there, The Diva Diaries by KiyaRaven. It pivots back and forth in time, told from Bella’s POV. Edward’s got trust issues; Bella manages to break down his walls, if only a little. But of course Edward messes it all up. Years later they meet again, Bella’s a bitter version of who she used to be. Can she ever forgive Edward for what he did? Read it and find out.


	3. This Love is Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing but an over-active imagination and some life experiences that desperately needed purging. No copyright infringement is intended.*  
> Huge thanks to my Twilighted beta, therunway, who gently shoved me in the right direction.  
> Even bigger thanks to the girls from Sparkly Red Pen, Snarky Much and StellaBlueBella, who put insane effort in to making the crap I write readable and pretty.

**Chapter Three**

**~~ ^ ~~**

**This Love is Over**

 

**BPOV**

I slowly peeled my eyes open, bracing for the stabbing pain that would no doubt ensue the second the damned light of day hit them.  “Argh,” I groaned as the effects of the wine really began to make themselves known.  

 

Carefully I rolled out of bed and stood. I stretched, flexed my muscles, and then went about gathering some clothing. I traipsed to the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on. I pushed myself up onto the countertop. I sat there listening to the sounds of the percolator and taking in the quiet of the morning.

 

This room was always one of my favourites, from the slate grey countertops, white washed cupboards, and the wispy subtle white of the walls, to the lemon yellow accents throughout. The house was old, but the kitchen had been updated since we’d moved in. Mike had wanted something ultra-modern, with stainless steel everywhere. I, on the other hand, wanted something that made people feel comfortable and was functional. I won.

 

 “Good morning sunshine,” Rose drawled from the doorway. Lost in the fine detail of a decorative bowl, I hadn’t heard her approach.   

 

I tossed her a weak smile. “Hung-over you still look ridiculously hot. I hate you,” I grumbled.

 

She truly was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen; tall, blond, shapely figure, piercing blue eyes that had a hint of violet to them, and a smile that brought most men to their knees. Hell, it brought plenty of women to their knees. I can recall, on more than one occasion, a woman or two making a play for the glorious Rosalie Hale back in our university days.

 

Self-consciously, I tugged at the hem of my oversized night shirt as I watched her. She was clad in nothing but a black bra and panty set. “Still sleep in the nude, Rosie?” I asked, handing her a mug.

 

“Yes. I only get dressed-up like this for guests.” She winked at me. I’d long since gotten over the sight of a very naked Rose wandering about.  

 

When Rosalie was seventeen years old, heading to her car, she was approached by three boys that had followed her from the party she just left. She ignored the catcalls and kept right on walking toward her little red Accent. She thought she was safe when she slid the key in and pulled open the door. She was wrong. She’d spent the next hour stuffed in the back seat of her own car, each one taking his turn with her, brutally beating her when she cried out for help. Eventually she stilled and stopped fighting.

 

That was the night it happened.

 

The night Rose really started to own her body. She stood up straight and tall and walked into that court room every single day of the trial.  She moved with grace and confidence, owning the bruised and battered skin. She spoke in facts, keeping emotion to the side were it belonged. To her, in that situation, in the courtroom full of people judging her, emotions were subjective, and anything that could be misconstrued wasn’t going to help her.

 

Rose refused to see her body as the reason behind her torture. Instead, she put the blame right where it belonged and laid it bare at the feet of her three attackers, the men that used her body like a toy, an object to be possessed or controlled. Rosalie Hale was no object; her body belonged to no one, but her, and she did with it as she pleased.

 

So it was fairly typical to find a naked Rose strutting around, looking magnificent and oozing confidence from every pore. Of course it’s a habit Emmett wholeheartedly encourages. He clearly worshiped the very ground beneath her perfectly manicured feet. If I didn’t know any better, I swore that she had custom ordered him or something. He was completely perfect for her, a true soul mate.

 

I knew the night they met, she was done for...

 

  _She came bounding into our dorm room like a kid hopped up on sugar. She ripped Wuthering Heights from my hands and carelessly chucked it clear across the room._

_“Hey,” I said in protest, shooting her a death glare._

_She placed a single finger on my lips to silence me, and a big goofy grin stretched across her sun kissed face._

“Bella, I’m sooo fucked!” she sighed happy, content. Not what I was expecting given the preamble.  “I fell in love with a dark haired muscle bound buffoon.  But oh my fuck, those dimples and that curly hair...”

  
I sat there for the better part of an hour as she droned on about the sexy buffoon she’d gone shot for shot with at the party two floors below us.

 

She was toast, and I knew it right then.

 

Rose’s voice wafted into my ear, shaking me from my memory. “So, what are your plans for the day?”

 

“Huh? Oh, plans, right. Well, after I work off this kick-ass hang over, I fully intend to bang out the next chapter of my new fan-fiction.” I was an utter dork and openly admitted it. I whiled away most of my free time reading or writing.

 

“Oh good, I was wondering when the next chapter was going to be uploaded. You know, Bella, that shit you write is like literary crack. Your last one was great, but this new one’s getting insane reviews.”

 

I ducked my head and blushed at her words.  “Yeah, it’s doing well,” I sheepishly conceded.

 

“I’ve said it before, Bells, I really think you should try your hand at writing professionally. You know, an original fiction, never mind fucking with other peoples characters.” Rose’s voice carried across the kitchen, her tone was adamant, almost demanding. She really believed this was something I could do. Angela and Jake had said much the same before.

 

“Mm, maybe,” I mused as I waddled toward the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower, you know where everything is.”

 

I turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature. I pulled my shirt over my head and stood looking in the mirror.

 

 _My body’s not that bad_ , I thought turning this way and that. _Okay, so your tits aren’t exactly huge, but they’re full and they have a nice shape to them._ And I always thought I had a great set of legs –long creamy, smooth. Not bad. But not good enough. Not for Mike at least.

 

I stepped away from the mirror quickly and stripped the rest of my clothes off. Climbing into the skin, the warm, thick stream enveloped me, clinging to my body. Hot water pelted down on my ivory skin, bringing a natural blush to the surface. I stood there under the water and let the heat work its magic on my tight muscles, washing away some of the tension I had.  

 

The pounding in my head and tension locking down my body wasn’t just the result of an evening spent with a seemingly bottomless wine bottle, and I knew it. It was the product of ragged, searing emotions burning and licking at me; of all the uncertainty, anger, self-doubt, confusion, self-loathing, and rage that had run rampant in me for the last eighteen hours or so. It had already begun to take root and bloom deep in my muscles, making them sore. I reached up and adjusted the shower head, and the massaging water beat down on my upper back in a concentrated stream of heat. I felt the muscles there loosen up and just a little more tension slid away.

 

I washed and got dressed. When I opened the door to the bathroom, I was assaulted with the thick aroma of bacon and eggs. Rosie was cooking for me. My lips smacked as I practically danced back to the kitchen.

 

“Mmm. That smells wonderful, Rose.”

 

She turned away from the stove top and beamed at me. “Least I could do after I got you trashed last night, Bells.”

 

We finished our breakfast —and yes, I called it breakfast regardless of the fact that it was just past two in the afternoon— and Rose left with a promise from me to call.

I trekked upstairs to the office and took a seat in front of my computer screen. My eyes roamed the room, plaqued movie posters donned the deep, dusky teal walls and the hideous throw rug that Mike just had to have laid on the floor at my feet. I hated the maroon colour of it against the dark wood of the floors, but he thought it looked great, so I’d conceded.  

 

I turned the monitor on and opened the document containing the latest chapter of Confessions of a Golden Eyed Deity. I settled into my writing routine with ease, pulling up my playlist and cuing up a random tune. Next, I opened my trusty on-line dictionary/thesaurus. Lacing my fingers together and pushing out, I heard the comforting symphony of knuckles popping and cracking. I then read over the last paragraph or two, closed my eyes and let the pictures roll into my head, drowning out every other thought. Behind my eye lids and deep in the recesses of my brain a story played out like a movie, full of sound and movement.

 

When I got a grasp on the scene playing out in front of me, my fingers began pecking at the keys. The words appeared one by one, each building on the next until the words began to take on the form of the pictures playing against my mind. Writing always felt so safe to me, a way for me to push the things inside my head out, give them life, and give them meaning beyond what I see. It’s an outlet for me, one of the few I have in my life and it makes me stupid happy. I could sit, plugged into whatever fantasy world I created for hours at a time. Sometimes the words didn’t come immediately. Sometimes they sounded all wrong and I had to work through that. But even then, I enjoyed the challenge it offered me and I patiently worked my way through it.

 

Music is part of the process for me, often it’s just background sound, something I sing along too, but sometimes it becomes a part of the scene, and helps me to create the right tone.  Every now and again when I find myself stuck and the words have ceased, I’ll scroll through my playlist and listen to various songs that I think fit with the tone of the scene. When I’d found the right song, like a soothing massage it releases the hold my brain had on the words I needed, and I once again find my fingers gliding across the keyboard, often in time to the music, which I find a little more than funny sometimes.

 

I copied the content of the chapter into an email and sent it off to my beta for correcting before it could be uploaded to the site. But I still have fresh images rolling in, so I opened the story back up and began working on the next chapter. The song changed, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe.

_‘Goin’ out of my mind_

_Don’t even know my own name half the time_

_How’d I get so blind that I couldn’t see_

_What was in front of me?_

_  
_

**_How didn’t I see it? How did I miss something this big? Then again why would anyone lie about something like this?_ **

**_  
_ **

_Wish I was wrong,_

_I wish that you were right here lyin’ in my arms_

_Deep down inside I got to face the truth_

_That you’re not comin’ home_

A wave of what I could only describe as acute grief rolled up on me as I folded myself forward and rested my head between my legs in an attempt to bring the spinning room around me to halt. I could feel my lungs work hard to draw in the air they so desperately needed, but it was all to no avail; the action resulted in nothing more than hyperventilation.

 

 _Shit, shit, shit...Pull it together Isabella Marie Swan_! I mentally chastised myself for using my maiden name and quickly corrected myself-— _Newton, Isabella Marie_ Newton.

 

_This love is over_

_This love is over_

_God knows I tried_

_I did everything I could to keep you satisfied_

_Bein’ my baby was just a part you played_

_Like it was all some kind of game_

 

**_Drawers full of lingerie, adult board games stashed in the closest, nights away at cute little B &B’S. All for nothing; I was never what he wanted, never what he needed. But he was always what I’d wanted. Sweet, smart, and when he looked at me I see that he cared for me.  _ **

**_  
_ **

My chest began to hurt with the effort, it heaved erratically, and I tried like hell to even it out, to find a better pace. Preferably something that wouldn’t have me passed out on the office floor.

_And just like a child_

_Just like a child you got to have your way_

_Nothin’ ventured, nothing gained_

_Now there’s nothin’ left to say_

 

**_Nothing left to say... No, not the case, I want fucking answers. Why me? Why lie to me all these years?_ **

**_  
_ **

Before I could even finish that thought an answer presented itself. Fear. Why would anyone hide who they were if not for fear of being ridiculed, ostracized, hated?  

_This love is over_

_This love is over_

_Baby, I know I’ll get along_

_Sometimes you got to make it on your own_

_It’s more that my pride that’s got me all tied up inside, girl, it’s all the lying_

 

**_Did he use me as shield, something to hide behind? I mean, I get being afraid, I do, but why bring someone along for the ride? Why suck them into the pit with you, when you know it can only result in suffering?  FUCK._ **

**_  
_ **

I sat up slowly, and the grief for what I’d lost quickly morphed to anger. The same anger I felt blooming in me yesterday. I could feel it filling my veins, shooting through me like venom.

_Guess it’s time to close the door_

_I don’t wanna cry anymore_

_It’s just not worth fightin’ for, this love_

_It’s over, this love is over_

 

**_How do I close the door on something that’s spanned more than a fucking decade!_ ** **_How do I do this, how does anyone do this?_ **

**_  
_ **

I was shocked back to room when the phone rang. Nearly breathless, I answered, “Hello?”

 

“Bella? You don’t sound so great. I was calling to see how you were doing, see if you needed anything, chicken soup or something.”  Angela’s voice was like the gentle caress of a soft hand, it immediately soothed me. “But this doesn’t sound like a chicken soup kind of problem.” She missed nothing. Obviously something about my tone had tipped her off.

 

“It’s been a pretty awful day, Ang. A fucking awful...” I checked the clock. “Twenty something hours actually.” I let a hot, irritated puff of air out.

 

“Did you want to tell me about it?”  I knew if I said no, she wouldn’t push; she wasn’t that kind of person. Angela would accept my decline to talk with grace, and silently- as she always did- she would let me know that she was there if I needed her. But I wanted to talk, I hated this venom pooling in me, and I hated the burning feeling it left me with.  I wanted it out and talking seemed to help last night, so I dove in with a long sigh.

 

After what felt like eons, Angela spoke, “Oh god, Bella... I... I...”

 

“Lost for words? Can’t blame you, it’s not like there’s a Hallmark card for this shit, no proper sentiment.  Congratulations certainly doesn’t fit.” _Glad to see my sarcasm is still alive and well_.  

 

 “I guess you’re right, but I am sorry, Bella. I’m sorry that there’s even the tiniest doubt in your mind. That’s got to be hell. I don’t know what I’d do if it were Ben...”she trailed off, obviously not wanting to put herself in my shoes. I mean seriously, who wanted to be walking around in these things right now? If I could step out of them and simply walk away, I would. Fuck my life.

 

“It’s alright, Ang. I understand what you’re saying. I just don’t know what I’m going to do with the information, or if I even want to use it. I mean just the thought, the possibility of him... I...”  I choked on my words, and my hands shook.

 

“But, you’ve been with him for ten years, you love him. You don’t want to hurt him, and you don’t want to hurt,” Angela said.

 

“I feel like I’m split in two, Ang. One part of me wants to see what that program will find and throw it in his face. The other half remembers what felt like to fall in love with him. That safe, homey feeling he’s always provided. That part of me, the part that always saw care in his eyes and melted at his smile, wants nothing to do with any of this. She wants to crawl away and hide. But Angela, I don’t think I can keep doing this.” Tears were streaming down my face, and I was pacing the room as if movement would somehow slow the thoughts that rattled through my brain.

 

“I wish I had the answers, Bella, I really wish I did. This isn’t an easy decision and one I don’t envy you for having to make. But, Bella, I do envy your strength. Regardless of what was difficult or trying, it always comes down to what’s going to work best for you. And, honey, you’re the only one that matters here. If you don’t think you can tolerate your marriage the way it is, than do what you need to. Either way, I’m here.” Angela sighed on the other end, and I could picture her loving face in my mind, eyes closed, worried wrinkles pushing up around her forehead. She didn’t need my worries right now; she surely had enough on her plate.  

 

“Thanks, Angie. It means a lot to me that you understand, even more so that you’re willing to keep any negative commentary to yourself.  But listen, I’m going to go do some laundry and get dinner ready.” I really did need to get moving, laundry did indeed need to be done. Then a thought occurred to me. “Oh, but wait, how was Tyler today? Did you guys get the incident report with Rose’s recommendation?”

 

“A little more of the hitting and self-harm this afternoon, but with far less gusto this time around. You know, most kids love gym time, but this kid acts like your trying to slit his throat. Definitely not his preferred activity,” she said with a chuckle.

 

“Well sitting in a corner, running his fingers over the cracks in the wall for hours at a time just isn’t on the schedule,” I joked, knowing damned well that that is exactly what the young Mr. Tyler would be doing if he had the choice. Closed off to the world around him, caught up in some kind of self-stimulating behaviour; his idea of paradise no doubt.

 

“Well I think Monday will be better still.  Do you start off at Stevens Middle School on Monday or at Dry Creek?” Angela asked.

 

Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, I worked between Dry Creek and Stevens. Tuesdays I was at Jefferson, and Thursdays were split between Port Angeles High School and what they called ‘prep-time’ in the office.  Paperwork had to be done at some point in the week. There were only two Behavioural Specialists for the entire district, which covered eight schools, and being that I was the more senior of the two, I had the bigger caseload. Emily joined the team just over a year ago after Jane up and left for a position in Italy. I suspected a man was involved, but she would have never admitted it. I had to say, I was glad to see Jane go. Though she knew her shit, in theory anyway, she had a tendency to scare the living crap out of the children. She could be so intense.

 

“Stevens, I have a parent meeting to attend.  So I’ll be at Dry Creek by noon or so for lunch.”

 

“Alright, I’ll bring lunch, my treat... I’m thinking Chinese?” Angela said.

 

“Sounds good to me.”

 

“Good, that’s settled then.”

 

“Okay, Ang. Have a good night and I’ll talk to you later, okay?” I said, standing beside the desk as I pivoted from one foot to the other, trying to work the tingles away.

“Absolutely, but, Bella, if you need me, just call or come on over. I don’t care if it’s two in morning, I’m here if you need me.” Her voice was laced with such concern that it brought a tear to my eye.

 

“Will do,” I answered.

 

“Good. I mean it Bella. I love you.” And as long as I lived I’d never doubt that.

 

“I know, love you too, Angie. Good night.”

 

“Night, Bella.” The line fell silent.

 

I’d already shut down the computer, deciding against tackling the next chapter after all. I made my way to the basement where a mountain of laundry awaited me. “Oye,” I said, eying up the heap. “I need less time consuming hobbies, seriously.” I shook my head and dug in.

 

Once I had the first load going, I headed back upstairs to the kitchen. I stuck my head in the freezer and looked over the contents, then the fridge, and then over to the cupboards, pulling them open one by one. I stood in the middle of the kitchen like I’d been dropped into some mystery spot and wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do next. “Honestly, I just don’t fucking feel like it.”  

 

Normally I’d have been whirling around the kitchen like a domestic diva in her element, but I just couldn’t quite bring myself to give a shit about dinner. I looked down at my sweats and tank top and thought pizza sounded great. No cooking, no cleaning. Sitting on the couch devouring Papa Gino’s pizza in my sweats sounded like heaven.  Sorry Mike, no home cooked meal tonight.

 

The pizza arrived a little after six. The smell wafted through the house making my mouth water.  I peeled back the lid and set it down on the coffee table and then went about pouring myself a glass of Coke. When I had everything set up around me, I scooted down on the chocolate brown leather couch, pulling a thin ivory throw over my legs. I surfed through the television channels and happened on reruns of _Six Feet Under_ on HBO and settled there. I munched on my pizza and got lost in the show; I didn’t hear the front door open or the footsteps as they approached.

 

“You look cozy.” Mike’s voice pulled me out of my daze, and I turned to see him standing at the mouth of the living room. An overnight bag was strung over his left shoulder, and his wide blue eyes gazed upon me as a lazy smile crept across his face. I used to love that smile.

 

“Very, good pizza and a Six Feet Under marathon kicking, all is good.” Nothing could be further from the truth. In that moment, I wanted to scream my accusations at him. I steeled myself and flashed him a weak, but hopefully convincing smile. “How was the convention thingy?” I asked with as much interest as I could possibly afford.

 

“Oh not bad, pretty much the same shit, nothing spectacular,” he answered, sliding the overnight bag down his arm. It hit the floor with a soft thump. “There’s a new line of camping gear that I’m interested in. It runs a little cheaper than some of the bigger names, might do well in this area.” He droned on about some fucking piece of camping equipment or other while he unpacked his toiletries. He was half shouting from the bathroom, which was only eight feet away.

 

_Really Mike, I couldn’t give a shit about the bear proof coolers, but you go right ahead, keep prattling on way freaking louder than need be._

_  
_

“So how was your day today?” he asked after what felt like hours of convention talk.

 

“I didn’t go in today, awful migraine,” I quickly explained. _See I can tell lies too,_ I thought, but quickly shook it for my thoughts. _You don’t know that yet, Bella, not yet,_ I tried to tell myself.

 

“Ah, well that certainly explains the pizza.”

 

For some reason that comment offended me. My inner bitch had lurched forward the moment I laid eyes on him. I knew I needed concrete proof before tackling the issue; gut instinct was not enough, so I was going to have to bite back the urge to react. I simply nodded my head and offered a flat, “mm” in response.

 

My inner bitch screaming: ‘ _This ain’t Betty Crocker’s house, asshole. You want a home cooked meal, maybe you should shuffle on over to your parents’ house. I’m sure they’re enjoying a perfect fucking meal as we speak!_ ’ Yeah, she’s a piece of work.

 

Mike joined me on the couch and he snatched up a piece of pizza.  With some amusement, I noticed my body involuntarily recoiled as his thigh brushed my foot. I tucked them further underneath me and scooted closer to the corner of the couch. I turned my attention back to the TV and watched as Ruth Fisher flew into one of her epic hissy fits. She’d always been one of my favourite characters on the show.  My own mother reminded me a little of Ruth, good hearted and sensible, if a little naive and flighty.  I loved her dearly.

 

_God I wonder what she’ll think of this whole mess?_

_  
_

It wasn’t long before I began to twitch and fidget next to him. I didn’t want to be there. I couldn’t be there, not without saying or doing something foul. I got up and hauled myself back down to the laundry room. I moved the loads and carefully folded the ones I pulled from the dryer. That sucked up all of about twenty minutes, so I retreated back to the office. Pulling up the MSN messenger, I saw that Jake was online.

 

**Bells: Hey, how goes it?**

**  
**

I waited while he replied. I plugged my earphones into the computer and cued up my playlist. I looked for something loud and a little destructive. Slipknot –Wait and Bleed, _yup that’ll do._

_  
_

**Jake: Hey, Bells, it goes. Anything exciting shaking down in Port Angeles?**

**  
**

**Bells: Define exciting...**

**  
**

My knee bounced, and the lyrics and thick double percussion boomed loud in my head.

 

**Jake: Mmm, gossip worthy.**

**  
**

I’m pretty damned sure marrying an alleged homosexual would most certainly qualify as gossip worthy.

 

**Bells: Um, can I plead the fifth on that, perhaps save my answer until another time?**

**  
**

**Jake:  I guess... What’s up? And don’t say nothing ‘cause I’ll call bullshit.**

**  
**

I felt sneaky and nervous about talking about this with Mike right downstairs, but I had questions for him, questions that really only Jake could answer. I took a deep breath and thought about how to word what I wanted to ask him.

 

**Jake: Bells?**

**  
**

_Shit._

_  
_

**Bells: Sorry, I’m here. I can ask you something?**

**  
**

**Jake: You can ask me anything.**

**  
**

**Bells: What do you think of Mike and me as a couple? I mean even in high school, what did you think of us being together?**

**  
**

**Jake: Okay... Uh I guess I thought he was what you needed because you always looked so happy to with him. But... No never mind.**

 

**Bells: Say it, Jacob.**

**  
**

**Jake: I always thought it was weird that you never seemed to fight. You still don’t. Leah and I fight all the time (makes for some great sex later). But you and Mike never fight. At first I thought that was cool, that you guys always got along so well, but being married now, I don’t understand how you do it.**

**  
**

I thought about this for a moment before I answered him. It was true that Mike and I never really fought, and that was something that always bothered me about him; it was like he wasn’t willing to put the effort into a disagreement. On more than one occasion, I actually tried to start an argument just see what his reactions would be. I wanted to get something more from him, something more than just the monochromatic responses I’d come to know.

 

**Bells: I used think I was lucky we never fought, but I’ve come to see it a lot differently lately.**

**  
**

**Jake: Everything okay, Bells?**

**  
**

**Bells: Can I ask you something else a little more, umm, intimate?**

**  
**

**Jake: Sure, fire away. Like I said, you can ask me anything, always.**

**  
**

**Bells:  Right. When we were together, was I good?**

**  
**

How do you ask your ex-boyfriend if you were a decent lay? Fuck. This conversation was shaping up to be tons of awkward, but I wanted to know.

 

**Jake:  Uhh, Bells, are you asking me if you were ‘good’, like the sex was good?**

**  
**

**Bells: Yup, that’s what I’m asking. And don’t be an ass-hat, just answer the question.**

**  
**

**Jake: Hey, I have feelings to, Bitchella (kisses). And yes, Bells, the sex was good. You were good. Does this have anything to do with Mike? Did he say something to you? I’ll break his face, I swear.**

**  
**

**Bells: Not exactly. But yes, it has to do with him... and me. Was there anything that you found... unappealing about me, my body I mean? I mean I know I’m going back awhile, but...**

**  
**

Okay, if it wasn’t the sex, then maybe it was me, maybe I just didn’t physically appeal to him. _Yeah, like you have a vagina... and he’s allergic. I’d say that’s unappealing_.

 

**Jake: Okay, yup, I’m going to turn your husband in to kibble. What did he say, Bella?**

 

**Bells:  He didn’t SAY anything, Jake.**

**  
**

And truly he hadn’t spoken a word, not one word in either direction come to think of it. I think I could count on one hand the number of times I’d heard him say I looked pretty. No heated coital moans proclaiming his love for my body. Maybe he just wasn’t the vocal kind. Jake was always very vocal. He was definitely a boob man, and lucky for him Leah had a great rack.

 

**Jake: So it’s a matter of doing, or, now stop me if I’m wrong, not doing? How long has it been?**

**  
**

**Bells: A little over a month.**

**  
**

**Jake: A month?  Christ, Bella. Wow. Can I ask you something now? How’s the sex? (Oh and to set the fucking record straight here, there never has been anything unappealing about your body. EVER.)**

**  
**

**Bells: Thanks, Jake, I needed that. And to answer your question, it’s awful.**

**  
**

**Jake: I’m sorry, Bells, honestly. I know it’s a little weird, but I’m here if you need to talk.**

**  
**

**Bells: Yeah, I bet Leah would just love that.  Ex-girlfriend wants to talk sex with her new husband. Right.**

**  
**

**Jake: She’d understand, besides she hates Newton. She’s always thought he was hiding something.**

**  
**

I had to clamp my hand down over my mouth to keep the laughter at bay. _If she only knew._

_  
_

**Bells: That’s interesting, perhaps your wife is a little more perceptive then I thought. Anyway, thanks for the chat, I’ve got to check on the laundry. TTYL**.

 

**Jake: Anytime. And just say the words, Bella girl, and I’ll kick his lily white ass from Port Angeles right on down to the rez.**

**  
**

**Bells: Easy Cujo. Night, Jake.**

**  
**

**Jake: Night.**

**  
**

Though it wasn’t even nine at night, I felt so drained and completely consumed that I hollered down to Mike that I was going to bed early. I shut down my chat session and stripped out of my clothes before I’d even hit the bedroom door. I pulled on an old concert t-shirt that was stretched all to hell and almost twice my size; I threw my arms up over my head, arching my back. I heard a gentle pop as I came out of the stretch. Feeling as relaxed as I was going to get, I crawled into bed.  I had to work to quiet my racing mind and it wasn’t until somewhere after ten that I finally drifted off.

**~~^~~**

The light of day bloomed, and a faint glow of light filtered through the bamboo shades. I rubbed my eyes, opened them, and allowed them time to adjust to the tiny bit of light.  I looked to my left, no Mike _. Huh_. I looked at the clock, 7:24am. _Dollars to donuts he went to the store early this morning._

_  
_

I flexed and contracted my muscles and then stood. I made a stop off at the bathroom, then started for the stairs fully intending to make a ham and cheese omelette for breakfast.  I paused at the top of the stairs and thought about the key logger. Had he been online?  I turned back toward the office and very hesitantly shifted the mouse lifting it from its program induced slumber.

 

Shift, K, L, D, enter. Password: twoleftfeet. My finger hovered over the enter button.

 

“Shit,” I grumbled to myself dropping my hands to my lap. What if I’d done this all for nothing? What if the key logger never showed me a damn thing? I pushed back on the chair, sliding a good foot away from the desk.

 

 _Then again, what if you’re right?_ _What if that burning stone in the pit of your stomach is right and everything you know is a lie? And if it is are you ready to deal with that are you ready for the fallout?_

_  
_

I pulled myself back to the keyboard and again my finger hovered over the enter key, shaking. The thinnest trickle of doubt shivered down my spine. I stood abruptly and marched from the room.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in this chapter is by Ray LaMontagne called This Love is Over, check it out - http://youtu.be/xUNGsYEd7Bw   
> The other song referred to is Wait and Bleed by Slipknot, great tune if you like things a little on the heavy side, here’s the link to check that one out too, http://youtu.be/OOZZAEWePmY 
> 
> Thanks for sticking’ with me, and, as always, feel free to review. I like reviews, they make me happy.


	4. What Lies May Come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing but I do have a rather nifty multi-coloured poka-dot purse, just so you know. No copyright infringement is intended.*
> 
> Wanna chat? Come find me on Twitter: @JanuarysFiction

**Chapter Four**

**~~ ^ ~~**

**What Lies May Come**

**BPOV**

Emmett had installed the key logger two weeks ago and every day I stared at that screen, finger on the trigger—so to speak—and every day I found another reason to disengage.

 

The memory of a happy Christmas spent with him and his loving- if a bit up-tight- family. Nights spent curled up on the couch watching movies together. Game nights with friends, family BBQ’s. Every memory gave me a reason not to open that program. Every memory stung and added weight to the burning stone that had made my stomach its home.

 

But it all amounted to the same thing, fear. I was terrified of what I might find, or _not_ find, for that matter. If the instinct that was burning deep in my core was proven right, what next? What do I do, and more over, how do I do it? The prospect of having to walk headlong into that foggy future scared me to death. For more than ten years this was all I knew. He was all I knew.

 

 Conversely, if I found nothing; if I were wrong what did that say about me? If I so easily leapt to a conclusion, what did that say about the state of our marriage? All of it was scary as hell and to be honest, avoidance was easier.

 

**~~^~~**

“Have you checked out any of the data yet?” Angela asked, as we ate lunch in the school’s staff room.

 

“No, not yet. I’m scared, Ang. What if I’m right? What if I’m wrong?”

 

“Bella, does it matter?”

 

“What? What do you mean _does it matter_ , Angela? We’re talking about my marriage here. Of course it matters.” My words were needlessly sharp. I knew she was only trying to help me come to a choice, but it pricked at my sensibilities all the same.

 

“That’s not what I mean, Isabella, and you know it. Either way you look at it, your marriage is a mess. Or at least you believe it to be. You can’t keep going like this. So again I ask, does it really matter?” She pushed her glasses back up her face and locked her soft, caring eyes on mine.

 

“No, it doesn’t.” I hung my head in acquiesce.  “Either way it’s over and has been for a long time. But what does make a difference in this situation is the _how_. Is it over because we’ve fallen out of love, and I’ve turned into some paranoid house wife. Or is it because I’ve unknowingly been playing a rather integral role in a lie that’s spanned more than a decade? _That_ matters.” I took a bite of my turkey sandwich and thought about just how much that really did matter. With that though grew my resolve to know and finally have an answer. 

**~~^~~**

Saturday morning rolled around, and I once again I found myself alone in a queen sized bed buried beneath a layer of creamy sheets and a light comforter.  I stretched and pulled the covers away from my face. My eyes caught the shape of the hand print above my head as they often did.

 

Painting this room had been something of a bitch because of the deep set window and aslope walls. At some point in the process Mike had attempted to stabilize himself with one hand on the wall and what we ended up with was a burnt cinnamon imprint of his hand.

 

_“Bella, you’re dripping paint.”_

_“Mike, you’re fucking up my paint job.”_  

 

I sprained my wrist later that afternoon and ended up in a brace for nearly two weeks and was quite glad to be done with the painting.

 

I shook myself from my memories and heaved myself from the bed. I hit the bathroom first, and then very decidedly headed to the office. I sat down and shook the mouse gently, listening as the computer revived itself. Without hesitation I typed in the three hot keys, hit enter, and waited for the password box to pop up.

 

 _Twoleftfeet_ , enter. I took a deep breath and began scrolling down the list of data entries, maintenance programs and background programs. Nothing interesting.

 

Key strokes were recorded; it looked to be an email password, Mike’s. A screen shot of his email home page, but nothing of consequence. And then I found it and my heart began to shutter and seize. 

Holy. Fuck. Holy. Fuck.

 

The images laid out before me shocked me to my very core –which at current was tightening and curling into itself with a seriously mighty force. My hands began to shake violently, and the air left my chest in a wheeze. Reallybeautifulmen.com was a fucking Sunday stroll in the park next to this shit.  Like a train wreck you can’t pull your eyes away from, my eyes remained glued to the screen.  I scrolled further down and saw the chat sessions. _Several_ chat sessions...Oh my Christmas... He’s got an undie fetish. I scroll down a little further...and he seems to prefer older men. Scrolled down further still... _Christ on a cracker_ what the hell is _that_? Fisting? _Oh shit, I’m not going to make it to the bathroom._

 

I got two steps into the hall and emptied the entire contents of my body, soul included, onto the hardwood floor. _So very glad we have hardwood, it’s much easier to clean. This would have been a fucking nightmare with carpeting._ When the upchucking stopped, and I had some control over my body, I braced myself against the wall, arms pushed out, hands sprawled on the wall, and my head below my shoulders.  I forced the air deep down in to my lungs feeling them expand.

 

 _I think I’ve been standing rooted in place, vomit at my feet, for a good ten minutes now._ I thought.

 

When I tried to move my body away from the wall, it quaked and my knees nearly gave way.  Somehow, through my stupor I managed to lower myself back to the leather chair in the office. My mind was ominously quiet, like the calm before a deadly storm.  One word broke through, Mom. I needed my Mom.  I looked at the clock. “Fuck it, she’ll damn well get up!” Renee was not a fan of early mornings on a weekend.

 

I picked up the phone and dialled her number.

 

Two rings, three rings, four rings. _Pick up the bloody phone, Renee!_

 

Five rings. “Hello?” a groggy voice greeted me.

 

“Mom it’s, Bella.” I didn’t know why I felt the need to announce myself; it wasn’t like she had any other children. 

 

“Bella, baby it’s not even eight in the morning,” she drawled.

 

“Mom, please give your head a shake and pull your shit together,” I barked.

 

“ _Isabella Marie_...Wait, what’s going on? Are you okay?  Is Charlie...?”  I had her full attention now; she sounded alert. A hint of that protective mama bear tone crept into her voice.

 

“Charlie’s fine. Mom, I need... I need you to listen.” I wasn’t going to ask her what she thought I should do, I already knew. The kill switch was engaged. 

 

“Of course, Bella, you have my undivided attention, baby. I promise.”

 

I heaved a sigh and began. “Mom, I’m leaving Michael.” Nothing, not a sound, not a word. I swore I could have heard a pin drop on the other end.

 

Finally, after nearly two minutes of silence, she spoke, “Why?” It wasn’t an accusation, it wasn’t demanding, it was curious and soft.

 

“Mom, Michael is gay.” I heard the breath whoosh out of her, and then several attempts at speech. I decided to answer her unspoken questions. “Two weeks ago I had a key logger installed on my computer because I found something that made me a little suspicious. Key loggers record everything that happens on a computer including what happens online.”  I let that settle in for a moment before I continued. “This morning I checked the data the program recorded from last night.” I paused and mentally buckled down; preparing myself for what I needed to say out loud and silently hoped to hell she didn’t want details. “Without getting too graphic, I can unequivocally say that Michael has more than a mere interest in the same sex, Mom.”

 

A few seconds had ticked by before I heard her voice. “Oh, Bella, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.  I’m sorry you had to find out like _that_.”  I could hear the tears in her shaky voice.  I knew that if she could have reached through the phone and pulled me close, she would have. “Have you had the chance to talk to him yet? Does he know what you’ve found?”

 

“No, he’s gone to work. Mom, I have no idea how to do this. How do I face my husband and say ‘I know you’re gay’?” I couldn’t even form a scenario in my mind. _Are their hand books out there for this kind of shit? How-to guides maybe?_

 

“I think it’d be best to flat out ask him, but honey, try to keep that anger out of your voice. You don’t want him to think he’s being attacked; it might not go over so well that way.  And I wouldn’t toss the proof out on the table right away. Give him a chance to talk, give him the opportunity to tell you. Then, if you need to show him what you found you can. I know this is going to be difficult baby, but remember there’s someone who cares about you on the receiving end. So don’t go in guns blazing, okay?”

 

I exhaled and nodded. This all made sense to me. “Yeah, I know, Mom. I think I can do that. Hopefully he’s bright enough to stay off my buttons.”

 

I heard her chuckle at that last remark.

 

“Honey, I wish I could take it all away for you.  I can hear the hurt in your voice and I wish I could take it away.” Her sobs broke through and suddenly I found myself wanting to comfort her. That had always been our way; the mother-daughter dynamic kind of got perverted somewhere along the way. But it suited us just fine.

 

We talked for a little while longer and then said our goodbyes. I promised I would call her that evening and let her know how the confrontation with Mike had gone. I hadn’t forgotten about the puke in the hallway. I quickly cleaned that up and then went about spraying down anything that would stand still with _Febreze_.

 

I turned on the coffee pot and took an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter top, and paced back and forth while I ate.  Waiting for the coffee was making me antsy so I yanked the phone from the base and called Rosalie.

 

“Hey, Bella Bear, how’s it going?” Emmett answered in his usual playful tone.  It almost brought a smile to my face. 

 

“Emmy-Lou-Who, I need Rosie.” I tried to keep my voice light and even. Apparently it was an epic fail.

 

“Aw shit, Bells. I’m sorry. Hold on, she’s sitting out on the deck.” I could hear him as he traipsed through the house. “Rose, it’s Bella. Sounds like the shit hit the fan.” I knew he was trying to whisper but Emmett didn’t exactly have much of an indoor voice. The phone changed hands.

 

“Bella, hun, what do you need?” Not what happened, or what did you find. ‘What do _you need’_?

 

“I need help packing, Rose.”

**~~ ^ ~~**

 

**RPOV**

I stood quickly, depositing my coffee cup in the sink as I went. I waved for Emmett to get fucking a move on it. Though I enjoyed the sight of him in his boxers, clothing was kind of essential for public appearances. “Emmet and I can have the truck there in less than an hour. Bella, where are you going to stay?”  I asked as I headed to the bedroom pulling off my bummy house pants as I went. I riffled through my drawers until I found a pair of grey washed stretch jeans. I sat on the bed waiting for Bella to answer.  I didn’t think she’d put too much thought in to it. Then I heard the telltale sounds of chest heaving sobs. Anger rose up quick up like a tidal wave, and I had to take a slow deep breath to keep from losing my shit all together. I gave her time to settle herself down and catch her breath, but my mind was already on the road headed toward Newton’s store.

 

  _Oh the things I would say to that boy,_ I thought, grinding my teeth. If it wouldn’t break Bella’s poor little heart—more than it already was— I’d have a few choice fucking words for him. Maybe smack him around a little. Just enough for him to fully comprehend the pain he’d inflicted on Bella.  

 

After several moments, and a few violent daydreams of my own, she finally found her voice and answered.  “The Days Inn on East Front, at least until I find something else.”

 

“Nope, like hell, Bells. You’re not staying in a goddamned hotel. You can take the guest room here.” I pulled my jeans on and threw a light weight blue hoodie on over my tank top.

 

“No, Rose, I won’t impose on you and Emmett like that. If it takes longer than a few weeks to find something then I’ll stay at Charlie’s until I do. No big deal.”

 

“Bella, that’s an extra thirty or forty minutes to your daily drive...”

 

Emmett walked in, his face puckered. “Don’t argue with her, Bella, she’s right. Besides, she’s seriously skilled in the art of argument; you’re no match, Bella Bear,” he said loud enough for her to have heard, and possibly our neighbours.

 

Bella chuckled on the other end of the phone. 

 

I watched as he tossed a black t-shirt on and changed into jeans, and then zoomed out of the room heading for the bathroom.

 

“Rose, I—”

 

“Bella, we live minutes from work, we have the extra room. So please do me a favour, just say ‘thank you, Rose,’ and then kindly shut the fuck up about it.” I could practically hear her stamping her feet like some petulant little teenager.  The thought made me smile. She never did take too kindly to being told what to do.

 

“Fine, that sounds great, Rose, and _thank you_.” Although she sounded a bit on the pissy side, her last words were loaded with gratitude.

 

“Right then. I’ll stop off and get some packing boxes on the way, and I’ll see you soon.”

 

Emmett went about gathering up packing tape, which apparently we had in the house—who knew—and a few bungee cords to secure everything in the truck bed. He also went and fished out a pile of newspapers from the recycling box. He was a very practical man, that’s for sure.

 

I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and pulled my hair back in a loose bun. By the time I was ready to go Em was already waiting, keys in hand, and supplies already in the truck.  “I know you had plans today; golf with Edward. Have I told you lately how very much I love you, and how glad I am to have you in my life?” And truly thanked the fucking saints above for this man.  

 

“Not today,” he said, a mischievous smile played at his lips. 

 

“I love you, Emmett McCarty. Thank you for doing this for me, for Bella. I know you were looking forward to seeing him today. What’s it been, two, three years?” I asked as I locked up the house and then followed him down the front walk to the truck.

 

“Three years.  And you know I love Bella, she’s like a sister to me. Edward understands. I sent him a text and he’s working on re-scheduling the tee-time for tomorrow morning.  Besides, with him back in Forks now we can hang anytime.” He tucked himself behind the driver’s seat and shut the door behind him, then turned to me, his face was glowing like he just had some sort of glorious freaking thought.  “You know, Rosie, maybe next weekend when Bella’s all settled in we can all head up to Seattle; see that crazy ass cousin of yours.”

 

 “Not a half bad idea, sir.  I haven’t seen Jazz in a while. He’s seeing someone new,” I mentioned in an off-the-cuff tone. “Yeah, Bella can let off some steam; let her hair down. You should have heard her sobs on the phone, Em. It made me want to do bad things to the man, Emmett. Bad. Fucking. Things.” She needed this, she needed a vacation, even if it was only for a few days.  Christ, I didn’t think she’d taken an actual vacation in like two years _. Yup, way past due._

 

We continued to chatter on as we made our way to Bella’s stopping, as promised, to pick up boxes.

 

Bella opened the door and if I hadn’t known any better I would’ve said she shrank. She looked so small hunched over and folded over onto herself like that. My eyes watered immediately because, although, I could only vaguely guess at what she was feeling, I wanted nothing more than to make it all stop. I wanted to see her smile that beautiful, easy, shy smile of hers again. Her pain was so immense, so weighty, that I could feel it like a black cloud looming over the house. I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her close to my chest; a move that would normally have elicited some kind of sexually inappropriate comment from my hulking husband.  Today he was silent. He could feel it too.

 

“Let’s get this shit done, baby,” Emmett said at my side.

 

Bella and I worked on her clothes and personal items first, moving between the bathroom and bedroom like two mini cyclones. “Holy fucker, Bella, is there anything by Victoria’s Secret that you _don’t_ freaking own?” I asked, staring in amazement at the collection of lingerie that was neat stored in her six drawer lingerie chest.

 

She snorted. “You can go ahead and burn that crap, Rose.” Her voice was heavy with derision, and her face was all screwed up in such a way that I couldn’t tell if she was going to laugh or fucking cry.

 

I packed them all the same, knowing good and damn well that they’d see some action sooner or later. Hopefully sooner. Her seriously sour sex life needed an overhaul, in a big, bad way.

 

 Once we finished there, we moved to the next room; the office. She secured the client files in the mini filing cabinet she kept them in at home, taping the drawers shut before Emmett hauled it off. Then she sat in front of the computer, plugged in her flash drives, and copied her stories and the chapter summaries for what she had yet to complete. She also transferred all the research on various types of behavioural intervention and therapies she’d collected.  She’d purged the computer of all things Bella, leaving nothing but Mike’s work documents and such. She sat back a little, her shoulders went tense as she depressed a series of keys, then a password and scrolled down.

 

My eyes widened, one hand flew to my mouth and the other to Bella’s shoulder gripping it. “Holy shit Suzy!”

 

“I know right,” she said, looking over her shoulder at me. ‘To _know_ it and to _see_ it, are two very different things aren’t they?”

 

“Very different.” I had to agree that just thinking that Mike _might_ be gay, and having resounding proof right there in front of me had really put a whole new prospective on the situation; it somehow made it more real. It also made my stomach lurch at churn. It wasn’t the acts themselves. I couldn’t give an unholy shit about that. What had my stomach churning, was the simple fact that this morning Bella came into this room, found this, and had to deal with it alone.  “I’m sorry,” I whispered ineffectually.  

 

**~~^~~**

 

We worked the rest of the day, Emmett having made two trips with the truck, and Bella loading her midnight blue Volvo just once. Mike was due home by about six, so Em and I headed home leaving Bella the spare key.

 

“You can do this, Bella Bear. Just keep breathing, okay?  See you soon.” He scooped her up in a bone crushing hug and planted a kiss to her forehead before setting her back down.

 

“Thanks, Emmy-Lou,” she said, patting him on the back.

 

“You know you’re the only chick that gets away with that shit.” He acted all put-out by her little term of endearment, but I knew he liked it. It was like their version of a secret hand shake or some shit.

 

“Don’t be afraid to let him see your pain, Bella. I know it’s in your nature to make things easier on everyone else. But, sugar, that’s some _huge_ fucking hurt you’re carrying around. Let him take on some that load for shit’s sake. He’s a big boy, he can handle it. And if can’t, well, fuck ‘em, that’s his problem.” I took her hand in mine and gave it a light squeeze and then _Emmy-Lou-Who_ and I went home to make dinner. Bella had refused food all day long, but even _her_ stubborn ass couldn’t say no to my spaghetti and meat balls.

 

**~~ ^ ~~**

**BPOV**

It was 5:32pm, and in less than a half hour Mike would be home. _Fuck, how do I do this?_ I thought pacing around the main floor of the house.  Occasionally, I would play with a magazine left out of the coffee table, or drum my fingers on the surface of the kitchen counter. My insides felt shaky and my legs wobbled, but I kept moving about unable to keep myself still for too long. I looked at the clock again, 5:44.  _Jesus Christ, did time stand still?_ Those fourteen minutes felt like fourteen hours.  As the moments ticked by, my palms began to sweat and a nervous pressure mounted in my chest. _It’s not the end of the world Bella, just the end of your marriage...and everything you knew._ _God, how was I going to do this? People up and left their spouses on a daily basis and never looked back. Of course, how many of them were under these same circumstances,_ I wondered.  How many women were faced with leaving the man they loved because he had woven a lie so hurtful, when it finally surfaced it killed them?

 

While making the circuit, yet again, I paused in mid-step. I was sure I heard the sound of tires on the driveway. My muscles tightened, my stomach clenched, and my heart began to pound so furiously I was certain it would explode. The fight or flight response that your body naturally takes to when it’s presented with a situation it isn’t sure it could handle, had taken me over completely. I wanted nothing more than to back away. To ease out of this with my hands raised in defeat. But I knew without a doubt what that path would hold for me. Misery. Plain and simple. I couldn’t while my marriage away pretending to be the perfect fucking house wife knowing goddamn well that that husband of mine was secretly playing for the other team. Oh, and there it was, wonderful rage and anger. That was what was going to carry me through this, so I embraced it and clung to it like a security blanket. I needed that anger to help me say and do what I needed to.

 

I heard the key as it slid into the lock, and then the whisper of the door moving against the tile floor. I heard Mike shuffle through the door, and I heard soft the click as it shut behind him. I listened as he silently pulled of his shoes then tossed them —as he always had— to the shoe mat by the front door. They landed with a soft thump. Socked feet made their way toward the kitchen where I sat and wait quietly. “Hey,” I heard him call out, his voice drawing closer. “You home?”

 

“Yes,” I managed to squeak out seconds before he breached the kitchen’s threshold.

 

“Hey there, I wasn’t sure if you’d gone for a walk or something... The house feels so quiet today,” he said as he made his way toward me with a lazy, half assed smile on his face.

 

“Mm, nope I was waiting for you.” It felt like my throat had started to close up and sand had filled my mouth. But I pushed on, using my anger to spur me. “We need to talk, Mike.”

 

“Oh shit, did I leave my chap stick in my jeans again?  I swear I’ve been checking my pockets before tossing them in the laundry.” He looked at me penitently. The last time he’d done that I made him do the laundry for month. He hated doing laundry.

 

“No, Mike, you didn’t leave the chap stick in your pants,” I answered and gestured for him to have a seat across from me. His eyes grew worried, and mine grew blurry.

 

“Okay.” He drew out the word with a huff and straightened himself in the chair.

 

I took a deep centering breath and slowly pushed it back out through my teeth. And then I began. “Michael, I want to ask you something.”

 

His eyes focused on my face, no doubt trying to read it for any forewarnings it might have offered him.

 

“And I want you to tell me the _truth_. I _need_ you to tell me the truth.” I slid my hand across the table to take his. I may have been seriously pissed at him, but deep down I knew there must be a reason why he’d created such an elaborate lie.

 

“Okay,” he responded, looking down at our joined hands.

 

“Michael, are you gay?” I said it with a flat even tone, keeping all hints of accusation out of it. Mom was right, coming at him guns blazing wouldn’t have been helpful.  I looked into his eyes and I saw the answer. They flashed with fear and shock, but his face worked to control that and he softened his features.

 

“No,” he said quietly, desperately.

 

“Michael, I asked you not to lie me, please,” I begged. I didn’t want to show him the images from the key logger if I didn’t have to.

 

“Bella, no.” Again his face and voice were soft, but his eyes wore the fear plainly. Hints of it laced his voice too, but to anyone else, anyone but me it would have been utterly imperceptible. 

_FUCK_. I was screaming in my mind, pleading with him to just open his mouth and let the truth pour on out. _But no, let’s make this a little more difficult why don’t we_?

 

“Come with me, Mike.” I stood and moved through the house on two very shaky legs. He silently followed, though I got the very distinct impression that he certainly didn’t want to. When we reached the office, he looked around and took notice of the missing items. _Guess he hadn’t seen the wall hangings and the lamps missing from the front room._

 

“Bella..?” he trailed off gesturing to the empty space where the file cabinet had once been. He also took notice of the lack of a chair. It’d been a gift from my mother and had been moved out that afternoon. 

 

I gave the mouse a gentle nudge to wake the computer up and quickly depressed my secret access code before I typed in the password that would finally open the program I turned my head to the side to look at Mike, confusion rolled across his face in heavy waves. “Do you know what a key logger is?”

 

“No... Bella, where’s your chair and the filing cabinet?” I ignored the question, entered my password and ReFrog kicked up its’ data screen. I clicked on last nights’ file and opened it.

 

  “It acts like a recorder,” I explained as I scrolled down the page and then stilled my hand over the mouse. I didn’t turn immediately to see his reaction to the display on the monitor; I just waited. Nearly a minute ticked by and not one sound was made. Finally, I turned to meet his face.

 

“Mike, I’m going to ask you again, are you gay?” My eyes were welling up with tears, my vision becoming blurry.

 

“Why would you do this, Isabella? I don’t understand... What were you..?” His voice trailed off and his questions brought a new heat to my face and fresh pulse of anger.

 

 _What the fuck did he mean why would_ I _do_ _this? I didn’t do anything_.

 

“Are you serious?  I’ve given you more than ten years and you took them without a single second’s hesitation.  You made me _beg_ for your attention and made me feel undesirable and unwanted. You were all too happy to go along with it.  And _you_ want to know why _I_ would do _this to you_? Seriously?” I could feel venom pooling in my mouth. I wanted to spit I was so angry.

 

“Bella, you don’t understand.” He ran a hand through his dirty blond hair and released a puff of hot air.

 

“Then fucking explain it to me, Mike, because I’m really confused right now,” I barked, fighting against the devil to keep myself in check.

 

“It’s such a small town and my family... I thought if I acted a certain way then eventually I would...I would just _be_ that way. You know, like mind over matter. If I refused to believe I was gay, and _acted_ as though I weren’t, then hopefully at some point I just _wouldn’t_ be _that way_ anymore.” He looked down at his feet, which were nervously shuffling beneath him.

 

“So you used me as some sort of shield? Hiding behind me so no one would see the truth.  Mike, did you stop and consider what this might do to me? What kind of fallout it might have? Did you stop to consider that your choices might utterly destroy someone?” Tears ran down my cheeks, my face was hot and I could feel my eyes begin to puff.  All I needed to complete the picture was a snotty, runny nose and I’d officially be one hot mess. I wrapped my arms around myself seeking some kind of self comfort.

 

“I thought I could be what you needed, Bella. I thought I would be able to love you the way you needed me to.” He reached his hand out as if to wipe my face, but retracted when I flinched. I hadn’t meant to react that way, but my body seemed to be on autopilot.

 

“Yeah, well, no offense, Mike, but epic fail there. I should have known really; never looking at me while we made love. Never really looking at my body and never finishing.  No covert ass grabbing when no one was looking, or sneaky make out sessions. Nothing that really ever told me you _wanted_ me.” I heard my voice fade a little at the end. I sounded so hollow.

 

“I’m so sorry, Bella, I...I...don’t know what to say or do. I’m sorry I did this to you; that I lied to you and took ten years of your life. A life that could have been spent with someone who could be what you needed, what you deserved. I was just terrified that if anyone found out, my family, friends, that they’d all turn their backs on me. Hate me.” And there it was the catalyst for the mess we now found ourselves in, fear.

 

Thick salty tears ran down his face, dripped off his chin and pooled at the edges of his lips. His face suddenly looked older and a little pale. He sobbed, and the anger fuelled venom coursing through me receded when I felt a deep fissure push across my heavy heart. I moved forward, and wrapped my arms around him letting him fall to pieces.

 

After we cried ourselves out we made our way to the living room and sat next to each other on the couch. “All your movie posters are gone. You’re leaving?” he asked in a small voice, his eyes roamed the sparse walls and the nearly empty DVD shelf.

 

I raised my face to look into his eyes. “Yes, Emmett and Rose helped me pack earlier today. Mike, I can’t stay. This was to suppose to be our starter home. We were supposed to _begin_ our lives here. All I see now is lies and hurt, and an end. This really isn’t my home anymore. I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t apologize, Bella, please. I take it you’re going to stay with them then, with Rose and Emmett?” he asked wringing his hands together; the knuckles were white with the pressure he was exerting.

 

“Yes, until I find something.”

 

“Are you going to stay in Port Angeles?”

 

“I’m not sure, depends on what I can find.” I knew my salary wasn’t going to be a problem as far as a mortgage went; the school board paid me well.

 

“They know then?” He didn’t look at me when he said it, but I could hear the shame in his voice.

 

 “Yes, Mike, they know. Outside of Rose being pretty pissed with you for lying to me like this, it’s all good. Your secrets safe, and they really don’t...I mean it’s okay with them, you know.”  

 

“You mean they accept, and are fine with the fact that your husband’s a closet homosexual.” I could see a thin smile, he was trying to make light of it but failing miserably.

 

“Ah, yeah. Mike, are you going to face this?” I wanted to know. I’d been unknowingly living a lie for ten years, and I really wasn’t willing to lie anymore. 

 

He seemed to know where my head was at. “You don’t need to cover for me, Bella. I’ve used you for years; it’s not fair to you to ask you to continue to lie for me. Yes, I’m going to face this. I’m a big boy, and I should start acting like it. I think a visit to my parents tomorrow is in order,” he said in a brave voice, but I could hear the quiver of distress in it.

 

“Do you want me to go with you?” I wanted to offer my support, even though I knew it would be odd as hell. _‘Hey there, Mr. and Mrs. Newton. So listen, your son’s gay... So yeah, I’m going to take off, okay?’ Yeah, that’ll go over real well._  

 

“No, Bella, I need to do this by myself, but thank you for offering. Can I ask how you’re not like chucking the TV at me?”  I saw a genuine smile grace his face and that pulled up one of my own.  He was fully aware of the extent of my mood swings and emotions. Always hot, fast bursts usually involving big, fat, stupid tears. For some reason, my tear ducts were hard wired to my emotions. I got angry, I cried; super happy, I cried.

 

I chuckled. “Some sort of supernatural self control, I guess.”

 

“That’s new,” he joked, and I poked him in the ribs with my elbow.

 

“Mike, I ‘m going to get going. In a few days, Tuesday or Wednesday, we should get together for dinner; really talk things out. Figure out what the next step is. But, right now I’m spent, and I need some time to mull things through. All right?” I wasn’t ready to get down to the nitty-gritty just yet. It was simply too soon; the wound too fresh. It needed time to bleed out.

 

“That’s fine. Dinner sounds good, I’ll even cook. Then, we can talk about what’s next.” He seemed to be taking this pretty good but something told me as soon as I left a breakdown was going to happen. And maybe he needed that. I’d already had mine. 

 

“I’ll call on Tuesday after work, alright?”

 

“Sure,” he answered as I rose to my feet. He walked me to the door, I snatched my purse, my keys off the bench by the door, and pushed my feet into my sneakers.

 

“Good night, Bella, and I’m sorry for everything.”

 

“Goodbye, Mike. You’ll be all right, right?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Promise.”

 

I pushed up on my tippy toes and hugged him loosely, then turned and walked out the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you may have noticed that some there’s some colour language in here. Ex: Fuck me Sally, Holy Shit Suzy, Holy Hanna, Christ on a Cracker. I’d like to pretend that this crap doesn’t pour out of my mouth all the time, but it’d be a lie. Have you got a favourite colourful phrase or hybrid word (fuckwit) that you like to say? 
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope you stick around for the next chapter. Much love, Jen.


	5. Dear Aunt Emmy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing but a super sassy, seven year old dog. No copyright infringement is intended.*

 

**Chapter Five**

**~~ ^ ~~**

**Dear Aunt Emmy**

**BPOV**

“Back. Off. Rose. I’m doing the dishes,” I argued after the bitch all but force fed me. The least I could do after them taking me in was the simple act of cleaning up after dinner. By the time I reached Rose and Em’s house they’d managed to unpack most of my things for me and set up the guest room. The act left me feeling both grateful and bothered all at once. Grateful, because I just seriously was not in the mood to take on that task, but bothered because I wasn’t an incompetent twit, or ill. I was just about to become the talk of the town. The divorcee of a gay man, yup that was bound to stir up a few words.  _Great, looking forward to it_.

 

“Rose, back away from the sink, she’s lookin’ a little lethal,” Emmett said in a cautious tone. “Seriously, Bells, your jaws all flexed and stop with the fist clenching thing. Their just fucking dishes.”  

 

Rose backed away, hands up in defeat, and tossed the dish sponge at me. 

 

“Thank you.” I rolled my head from side to side, trying to loosen the knots. “Seriously it’s like therapy, I don’t mind at all. Besides, you packed, you hauled, and you cooked. Let me earn my keep.” I turned the hot water on, squeezed the lemon dish soap in the sink, and tucked into the small pile at my left. A few minutes went by, I felt my hands begin to prone in the warm water, it was familiar and soothing. Emmett came to stand by me, a dish towel in his hand; he began to dry and put away while I continued washing.

 

“You’re humming something. What is it, it sounds familiar?” he asked, breaking me from the spell the suds had on me.

 

“Hm?”

 

 “Just now, you were humming. What was it?” he asked again.

 

“Oh, it’s a Nirvana song, ‘ _Oh, me’_.”

 

“Good tune,” he said, nodding. “So, Bells, I was thinking I’d put your movie poster collection in the basement for now. Is that ok?  Hey, where did you even find them like that?”

 

“Yeah, that’s fine. Most of them are just normal posters, save the small ones; those are called UK minis’. I just took them to a photography/framing place, and had them made into plaques. You know, like they do for awards, or diplomas and such. Neat, eh?” He nodded in response. “Makes them heavy and pretty awkward to carry, but they’ll never fade or tear.”  I had a pretty decent collection of movie posters that had once graced the walls of our home like pieces of art. I remember how excited I would get when I hung a new piece up in the house. Every addition marking the space I lived in as mine. Equal parts of my personality and Mike’s were strewn throughout the house, _our_ house. Now, the walls were all but empty, stripped bare of what they once had been.   

 

“You haven’t said much about how it went. Did you want to talk about it?” Emmett asked, sounding very much like the big brother I always wanted.

 

I squeezed the sponge in my hands, causing bubbles to rise to the surface of the waster. I could feel my fist clenching and releasing again and again. “It was...emotional. At first he wouldn’t admit it, and lied _straight faced_ to me. I could have spat nails at him I was so pissed. But, once I showed him the key logger data he folded like a house of cards.” I released my hand again and began working circles with the sponge across a plate. “Em, you should have seen his face, so scared and ashamed, and a little annoyed, now that I think about it.” I’d give him that though. Had I been harbouring a big secret like that only to be out _ed_ by a stupid software program, I might be a little annoyed too. “I believe him when he says he didn’t intend to hurt me, Emmett, but what I don’t understand, and what he didn’t really answer, is the _why_. Why did he choose _me_ to play the scapegoat?” I rinsed the plate and handed it to Emmett.

 

“I think, and I’m just talking out my rear end here, but, I think if I were in his shoes I’d pick a warm, loving person. Someone who was sensitive and easy going, but I think I’d also pick someone who followed their heart more than their head. Your head feeds you all kinds of logical shit. Fills you with questions, but your heart, well, that’s a different story. Your heart hears all those rational questions, sees the suspicious little things, and tosses them right out the fucking window. It’s driven by emotion. I would have counted on that.” Emmett stood next to me; I could feel his eyes on my face, and they felt heavy. His pity was nearly a tangible being, and it weighed on me.

 

“Wow, listen to you, Emmy-Lou.” I chuckled, handing him a sauce pan.  “But, I think I get what you’re saying. When you love someone, you kind of turn a blind eye to all the unpleasant crap, and you toss aside their flaws, because ultimately it doesn’t matter anyway. I had my eyes closed to all those little things for so long, and I just came to take it all for granted. That was just Mike, just his way, and because I loved him I set it all aside. Stupid girl.” I said the last words so low I’m surprised Emmett heard them. But it’s how I felt, stupid, absolutely dense.

 

**~~^~~**

**EMPOV**

I took the sauce pan from her and set it to the side. She looked so rigid, and tense; like someone had shoved a broom stick up her ass and movement in either direction caused her pain. And she was in pain. It was written on her pale skin, and it was evident in her eyes. The pain and hurt had doused that pretty spark in her eyes; made them dull and lifeless. I’d never seen her like this before, and it fucking stung at my big dumb heart.  “Hey, none of that, Bella Bear. I won’t have it. The only one who belongs in that category is Mike for thinking this was the best way to deal with what he was feeling. He should have never dragged you down with him, dumb shit.”  I wonder if she can hear all that irritation in my voice. I would never look at Mike the same way, and it had nothing to do with his sexual preferences. It was because he lied, because he hurt Bella, and by proxy, me, Rosie and everyone that cared for Bells. That forever changed him to me.

“I wouldn’t call him a dumb shit, Emmy-Lou. That’s not entirely fair.” I think she was aiming for sarcasm, but missed the mark. It sounded so hallow and off, it didn’t have the same punch she normally had when she’s being a smartass.

 

“Emotion midget, fucktard, half-wit, jackass, super-douche, any of those work for you?” I said snapping the towel lightly at her leg.

 

She laughed and handed me the last of the silverware to dry. “Thank you,” she mumbled softly, looking straight down at the dish water now swirling down the drain.

 

**~~^~~**

**BPOV**

When I crawled into bed, I fully intended to pass out cold with exhaustion. I should have known better. My mind was on an endless loop of questions interspersed with memories of the years Mike and I had spent together, and some of it was seemingly random.

 

_I have to get new furniture. Shit._

_I must have looked like an easy target._

_New Year’s Eve, the second year we’d been together. I was a little drunk and a lot horny. I sat on his lap, grinding myself into him. I hoped like hell he’d take the bait just once and drop his careful Catholic control. No such luck, it ended up being a DIY kind of night._

_Fuck, I haven’t called Charlie! He’s gonna shit a Buick when he hears this. Oh crap, what if Mom already called him?_

_I think I’d like my new bedding to be something bright and colourful._

_Holding hands with Mike; walking through the mall in Port Angeles. He never held my hand at home...only in public. Huh._

_Walking down the aisle, I was all tears and happiness, but his face...He looked like he was going to toss is cookies or run like hell.  I remember thinking at the time that he must be insanely nervous. I wonder what was really going through his mind._

_I think I’d like to find a place that’s a little more secluded. Not in the middle of the city, a little privacy might be nice. The fewer neighbours the better. Maybe I’ll get a porch swing._

It went on and on like that all night until I finally broke down in horrible sobs. And that’s how Rose found me, fetal position assumed, tears following down my red, puffy face and honking like a wounded goose.

 

I felt the weight shift on the bed, then her arms coiled around me, and she hugged me protectively. “Let it all out, Bella, scream if you need to. Scream until your fucking lungs bleed if you think it’ll make you feel better.” She ran her warm hand over my hair and began to rock me gently.

 

“Rose, how can I feel so hurt, so betrayed, and still give a shit how _he_ feels? Why do I still care, but at the same time I seriously want to crap in his Wheaties?”

 

Her muted chuckle rumbled in her chest behind me creating a soft vibration between the two of us.

 

“You loved him, Bells. You still love him. It’s not like a switch you can just turn off. You have every right to feel right pissed, murderous even. I swear I’d cut off Emmett’s junk. I’ll hold him down for ya, Bells. You can even use my good knives. We’ll go all Dexter, lay down some plastic wrap shit, and wear those fuck-nasty white jumpers.”

 

The words conjured up some pretty nasty- but oddly humorous- images. I really couldn’t reconcile the image of the beautiful Rosalie McCarty in one of those repugnant one piece toss-away things. But, I could so picture the maniacal grin that would surely be plastered to her face while she’d held him in place for me.

 

I laughed out loud, snorting back the tears. The laugh was laced with acid; I could hear, feel it.    

 

“It’s like the ass-crack of morning, just past six. Let’s go make some breakfast, and then you and me will hit the gym. Work out a little aggression. Sound good?” she asked, still patting my hair.

 

“I’m sorry my pathetic breakdown woke you guys up,” I apologized as I rolled to the edge of the bed, slinging my legs over the side. I felt my back creak in protest.

 

“A fucking F5 _tornado_ wouldn’t wake that ass. He’s still dead to the world,” Rose said, pitching her thumb in the direction of the master bedroom. I could hear Emmett’s steady snores wafting down the hall.

 

“He sounds like a freaking bear. How do you sleep next to that?” I asked, honestly curious how she’d ever managed to get any sleep next to _that_.

 

“Fuck if I have any clue,” she said, laughing as she left the room.

 

I dressed quickly, and then set in to making an epic batch of my chocolate chip pancakes. I know, counterproductive for a morning at the gym, but whatever. I wanted chocolate, it was my feel better food. And I totally needed to feel better. Emmett stumbled into the kitchen, hair in disarray, one hand swiping at his nose, the other scratching his junk. _Nice, thanks for that, Em_.

 

“Pancakes,” he mumbled as he plopped down on the stool in front of the breakfast bar.

 

“Monosyllabic replies are all he’s capable of first thing in the morning,” Rose said, patting his head as she walked past him to the fridge. He swatted at her hand, looking a tad annoyed; she smirked.

 

 “Alright, Em, how many do you want?” I asked with a smile.

 

“Four,” he said, pushing the plate in front of him forward.

 

I snickered. It felt good to make these for someone that would _truly_ enjoy them. Mike preferred plain buttermilk pancakes.

 

I always thought that was so boring.

 

He hadn’t cared for my granny smith, green apple pancakes either. He’d taken a few tiny bites, made an odd crunched up face, said “gross,” and quickly chucked them, and had devoured four powdered doughnuts for breakfast instead.  

 

_I bet Em and Rose would love those granny smith pancakes._

**~~^~~**

I needed to call Charlie, and Angela, come to think of it. But Charlie was definitely first on the list. We climbed into Emmett’s giant truck (it smelled nachos, why the hell did it _always_ smell like nachos?) because it happened to be last in the driveway, and Rose insisted on driving. I pulled out my cell phone, and quickly dialed my dad’s number. I gnawed on the tip of my nail while I listened to the phone ring.

 

“Hello?” he answered in a short, clipped voice.

 

“Dad, did I catch you at a bad time?” My insides rumbled a little, talking to Charlie about anything serious, or well, emotionally serious made me a tad nervous.

 

“Oh, nah, Bells, I was actually waiting for your call.” His voice grew soft and careful.

 

“So Mom, called already?” I asked, feeling just slightly guilty about that fact.

 

He let out an airy sigh. “Yeah, she called last night.” I could hear the pity in his voice, and I really didn’t want anything to do with it. I didn’t want pity. Pity made the inner bitch seethe. 

 

“I would have called sooner...” My voice hung in the air, nervous butterflies pushed warm air around my stomach.

 

“I knew you’d call when you were ready. No worries, Bells.”

 

Rose put a hand on my knee, it had begun bouncing frantically.

 

“So, how much did she tell you?” I knew Renee well enough to know that in all likelihood she’d simply eluded to the events, rather than come right out and say it. She’d want me to tell Charlie in my own way.

 

“Even to know that you’ve left Mike, and to know that whatever he did... That it hurt you something awful. I swear, I’ll fucking nail him to the wall if he so much as...”

 

“Dad, stop!” I shook my head. Something about the cop in Charlie always had him jumping to the worst case scenario. “He’d never lay a hand on me.” Which I knew was the truth.

 

I could see Rose eyeing me from her seat, her eyes running back and forth from the road to me.

 

Charlie huffed in relief on the other end. “Then tell me what happened, Bells,” he demanded in a soft, calm voice. It was very police-like and official.

 

I took a deep breath, and let it all spill out of me. “Mike’s gay, Dad.” I went on and told him about the website, and the key logger, and then finally about our confrontation last night. Charlie was speechless. He never was a man of many words, but in this case he seemed to be suffering from some sort of shock induced aphasia. I heard words come in starts and stops, grunts, and word approximations, but nothing that could truly be defined as coherent speech. I wondered if Charlie was having a stroke.

 

My own heart pounded just a little hard. “Dad, say something. Are you okay?”

 

Rose pulled in to the gyms measly parking lot and cut the engine. She turned and gave me a worried look. I shrugged and awkwardly gestured to the phone. 

 

“Dad?” I repeated, starting to freak out a little more.

 

“Er, yeah, Bells, I’m here. I’m here,” he repeated, almost to himself.

 

“Don’t scare me like that! I thought you had a stroke or something. Jesus Christ.” I exhaled a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

 

“Sorry, Bells. It’s just, you know... a shock.”

 

“Yeah, tell me about it. You’re preaching to the freaking choir over here.”

 

“Aw, Bells, I’m so sorry, baby. I knew there was something _off_ about him, but he always treated you right, you know. He took care of you, and he seemed to love you.” I could practically picture him shaking his head, but I was kind of taken by his former statement.

 

I felt the muscles in my neck tense. “What do you mean you thought there was something _off_ about him, Dad?”

 

“It’s just... I had a feeling when you guys first got together. I thought that _maybe_... I don’t know. It was just a thought at the time, but I saw how much you cared about him, and I just kind of shook it off. I’m sorry, kiddo. I’d give anything for you to not have to deal with this. It wasn’t fucking fair of him. It wasn’t right.” He sounded all sorts of pissed. His voice had that calm quality to it that always seemed to scare the ever loving shit out of me.

 

“Hey, Dad, your guns are all locked up, right? The edge in your voice is a little freaky.”

 

“I could kill - _literally-_ fucking kill him, Bells. All those years you put yourself through hell trying to get pregnant... _For what_?  To cover up _his_ big lie? All he had to do was sit idly by while his _wife_   shot herself full of fucking hormones, chewed back ridiculous supplements, swore off caffeine, and went through terrible depression when none of it worked. I could kill him,” he said with all the reverence of a prayer. 

 

“I know, Dad, I know. This sucks so much, and on so many levels, but I need you to not hate him. Please. I’m dealing with enough crap. I don’t need to take on the burden of your hate too, it’s too much.” Since that Thursday evening, I’d been walking around with all this extra weight on my chest and angry, bitchy venom pumping through my veins. I’d only felt the slightest bit of relief when Mike finally ‘fessed up. But it wasn’t enough to make me comfortable again. Taking on my father’s issues with Mike right now would do me in for sure. I needed him to understand that. And I think he did.

 

“I hear ya, baby, I do. You need everyone to play nice. I get it. I promise I’ll do my best for you, Bella. Anything to make this easier on you,” he conceded.

 

A little relief washed over me when he said that. He always made good on his promises. “Thank you, Dad. Listen, I’ll call you later, okay? Rose and I are at the gym. She thinks I could do with a little tension release. Burn off a little anger, and maybe those chocolate chip pancakes I made this morning.” Rose and I piled out of the car, and I snagged my little purple gym bag from the back of the truck.

 

“I think Rose might be on to something, kiddo. I know you don’t want to come back to live with your old man, but will you do me a favour? Will you let them take care of you a little? Will you let us all take care of you, just a little bit? I know you hate feeling needy, but if we can make this easier on you in any way...” his voice trailed off.

 

“Yeah, Dad, I think I can do that. A little.”

 

“Good. I love you, kiddo.”

 

“Love you too, Dad,” I said as we signed in at the front desk.  I closed my cell phone, slipped it into my bag, and Rose and I headed to the locker room.

 

“So, Charlie’s seeing red?” Rose asked as she slid into her yoga pants.

 

“Yup,” I answered, popping the ‘P’ sound. I pulled my tank top down and fixed the laces on my shoes.

 

“Yeah, I figured as much.  So where do you want start today?” She plugged her ear buds in and secured her iPod to the strap on her arm.

 

“Cardio room,” I answered.

 

As I mounted the treadmill, I cued up my ‘feel a little like screaming’ playlist. I plugged the buds into my ears, and in second’s thick bass lines and angry lyrics began throbbing in my brain.

_‘I'll never be the same, breaking decency  
Don't be a tree trunk, don't fall on my living roots  
I've been humming too many words  
Got a weak self esteem  
That's been stomped away from every single dream  
But it's something else, that brothers face  
Keep it all inside, until we feel we can unleash  
I think that you made it up  
I think that your mind is gone  
I think you shouldn't glorify - Now you’re wrong!’_

 

Thank you _Deftones_ for helping me kick out a little anger. As the song went on, my legs felt the need to push further. I increased the speed, feet pounding faster, my heart began to pump harder. It felt good to give myself over to this, to hear the music and feel the physical need to exercise all the anger from my body. The venom-that mix of confusion, anger, regret, and hurt- that had mixed with my own blood and made it hot, began to subside and I could feel it receding. I knew the feeling was temporary, that this fix was something that would only carry the reeling thoughts and emotions away for so long. But, damn if it didn’t feel spectacular to focus on nothing but the movements of my own body.  Being the remarkable klutz that I was, the gym was often the scene of a public disgrace. One I was more than used to and others rarely react to me anymore. _Yeah, that’s Bella sprawled out on the floor again, no worries, she’s fine._ So, I normally have to pour significant focus into what I’m doing, but today it’s like I’m on autopilot. My body actually felt confident in its steps. It’s a little shocking, but I’m grateful for it.

 

**~~^~~**

“So, what do you say to a drive up to Seattle this weekend?  Stay with Jasper for a few days, hit the town hard at night, and do a little shopping during the day. I promise you won’t have any trouble getting the time off,” Rose said from the shower stall next to me.

 

“Rose, I’ve got so much shit to do here. I don’t know that taking a few days off would be too wise.”  I’ll admit the thought was appealing, but faced with the prospect of having to find a new home and settling things with Mike, not to mention the legal shit that was surely right around the corner, a vacation didn’t really seem like a number one priority.

 

“Bella, my sometimes overly pragmatic friend, tell me _what_ exactly isn’t going to be waiting for you when we get back?”

 

She had me there. I took a moment to think about it.

 

“Nothing, really, the shit storm will still be raging and the real-estate prospects won’t have changed in the area so much over a few days that I’ll be left homeless. Hmph, well, it has been quite some time since I’ve seen Jazz,” I conceded. Rose was right; a little fun was mostly definitely called for.  Maybe just a little less _here_ for just a little while would be nice.

 

“That’s my girl,” Rose half shouted. 

 

I turned off the water and blindly grabbed for the towel that hung just outside the stall.  Wrapping it tightly around me, I stepped out smelling like fresh strawberries.

 

“My legs are gonna be _so_ pissed with me for that epic run,” I rambled to myself as I pulled my clothes on.

 

Rose walked around the lockers, with her golden hair dripping and looking a whole lot like some goddess that had just emerged from the sea. _Bitch_. I giggled when I noticed the woman across the way giving Rosalie the once over, ogling really.

 

“What’s got you giggling?” she asked, shedding her towel and reaching for her clothes. The watchful woman’s eyes widened noticeably, and I shook my head.

 

I leaned in to whisper to her. “You’re being eye-screwed. She’s kind of cute, a red-head.” I joked because I found this enormously entertaining.

 

Tact has not always been Rose’s strong suit. She turned and looked over her shoulder, and the girl reddened instantly. Rose made a show of slipping her wedding ring back into place on her ring finger. The girl’s eyes dropped to her feet, and she made herself busy with the nonexistent lint on her sweat pants.

 

“I think her name’s Victoria. I’ve seen her around here before,” she said, shaking her head. “Hey, you think Ang and Ben would like to come with us this weekend? I know Emmett’s inviting a friend, maybe they’d like to come?”

 

“I doubt it, Rose. She’s like 11 months pregnant!  Have you seen her lately?” Angela’s pregnancy was nearly at its end, but it seemed the child inside her was far from done with the growing process.

 

“No. Well, it’s been like a month, at that last support meeting for S.J.,” she reminded me. “Why is she all huge?” Being that we were out in the community, Rose used initials when referring to students we worked with, but I knew she was talking about Scotty Janice.

 

“Oh, sweet mother of pearl, Rose, you should stop by the school. She’s so swollen and her belly... She looks like she’s carrying a toddler. I don’t know how she’s still managing with some of kids she’s got in that school. I think her maternity leave starts in like three weeks, the week before her shower. Which reminds me, you want to go halfers on her gift? I was thinking about that ridiculously priced breast pump system she’s got on her registry.”

 

“Sounds good to me, we can go pick that up now. Unless you’ve got something you need to do this afternoon?” Rose closed the locker and faced me. I had just slid my shoes back on.

 

“Yeah, no that works out perfect. We should grab lunch, too,” I suggested.

 

**~~^~~**

Rose and I toddled around the Port Angeles mall and purchased what’s supposedly the Cadillac of boob pumps. “Almost $300 bucks for a tit sucker...I’ve got one of those at home, and he’ll gladly do it for free.” Rose ranted as we were seated in the restaurant. 

 

I laughed, shaking my head at the remark.

 

We ordered and chattered on about the truly inflated price of baby supplies. “...I mean considering they use this stuff for such a short period of time, really, it seems ridiculous to charge to so much,” I said, bringing the frosty beer to my lips, musing about how very much I’d wanted that _stuff_.  

 

Suddenly I was stricken with the realization that I was nearly 30, and I was about to start all over again. I was terrified. “Rose, how am I supposed to do this? I’m almost 30 for fuck’s sake. How am I supposed to start all over again at 30?” Tears sprung to my eyes, and I quickly swallowed the lump forming in my throat.

 

“Bells, you’re 30 not 60. Plenty of people start over at our age. No big deal. Besides, you’re still hot as hell.” She winked at me, and wiped the tears from my cheek.

 

“Yeah, well tell that to my boobs,” I grabbed my two small breasts, hoisted them up a little. “25,” and let them drop back into place,“30! The girls ain’t what they used to be.” I giggled and stuffed a French fry into my mouth.

 

“Oh shit, if that’s your only complaint you’re miles ahead of the game, sugar.” Rose laughed and patted my hand.

 

In much quieter voice I said, “What if Mike was my last chance? My only chance...for a family,” I nearly sobbed at the thought. Did he take my one and only chance from me? My hands clutched at each other, nails digging into flesh, driven by that venom.

 

“Oh, honey, trust me this was _not_ it for you. It can’t be. There just isn’t a god that cruel,” she cooed, taking a firm grasped of my hand.

 

I wanted to take that as truth, but I couldn’t help the doubt that swam around my brain. I may very well have wasted everything on Mike. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READER POLL: I’m in Canada, Southern Ontario, in a wonderful little city called Windsor. Where in the world are you? I’m just kind of interested to see where you readers are. 
> 
> So I’ve dropped hints about Bella and Edward meeting, keep your panties on, I promise it’s coming, just gotta work through all the other shit first. Stay tuned, please. Yes, I know I’m gravelling, and no I’m so not above it. Thanks for reading folks! 
> 
> The song that Bella was listening to is 7 Words by the Deftones, checked out: http://youtu.be/80gj9ZF539o  
> The other tune mentioned was Nirvana’s Oh Me: http://youtu.be/rnkIa5VKn0o


	6. Dinner, Divorce and Late Night Texting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * As usual I own nothing except the plotlines and really frizzy hair today, so no infringement intended.*
> 
> Hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. I seriously appreciate your reading it and your comments. Keep ‘em coming. Heads up, there’s a lemon in here...and if you can’t take the pucker, get your ass out of the kitchen. Or some such shit. 
> 
> Also, if you’re one of those types of folks that like to listen to some tunes while they read (like me), then here’s a few that I was listening to when I wrote this chapter: 
> 
> Anna Nalick- Catalyst   
> Tool (who happens to be my fav. band and I demand a little love for them) –The Pot  
> Rachael Yamagata –Sunday Afternoon

**Chapter Six**

**~~^~~**

**Dinner, Divorce and Late Night Texting**

**BPOV**

“This is good, Mike, did you use my recipe?” I asked, stuffing the last of the meat loaf in my mouth.

 

“Yeah, it’s was always been a favourite of mine. Better than my mom’s, but don’t tell her I said that.” His face looked a little more relaxed then it had when I first arrived. Sipping his wine he cleared his throat. “Ahem. So how do we do this?  What’s next?”

 

This was the reason we’d gotten together, to discuss the next step in our separation. “Well, if you’re agreeable, I think we can do this without involving lawyers and all that bull crap. I’d rather not drag this out and turn it into some dog and pony show. Ya know what I mean?”

 

“Yup, it’s not like this is _War of the Roses_ , we aren’t at each others’ throats,” he agreed.

 

We talked about filing for divorce when I got back from my little vacation with Rose and Emmett. We talked about assets and the banking end of the separation, something I’d already made a move on that morning. Between schools I’d run over to the bank, opened a new account, and set it up with human resources that my pay go to the new account. We decided we would split the savings right down the mild. The one joint credit card we had in our name would be paid off and closed. We would also continue to make monthly payments on the line of credit until it too was paid off. We’d already made a pretty big dent in it, so it wouldn’t take long before that debt was nonexistent. Thank god we didn’t have much in the way of debt.

 

“Bella, why did _you_ leave? I mean, I know _why_ you left, but why not toss _my_ ass out?” Mike asked, looking more than a little rueful.

 

I cast my eyes down, and I watched my fingers play with the fabric of my shirt. “Because, Mike, this isn’t _my_ home anymore. I look around here and all I see are endings, hurt, lies. I’d just end up feeling trapped in it all, and I can’t take it. I need to move on. I need to not be _here_ ,” I answered honestly. Looking out into the front room, I saw that he’d moved the furniture around little. My eyes pulled on the voids left behind from the posters I’d taken with me. It made me sad that this all looked so alien to me and in such a short amount of.  The room now reminded me of an old ruin, forgotten and hallowed out by time, ghosts of past lurking in the corners. I shuddered.

 

“I didn’t mean any of it, Bella. I didn’t mean for you to be so sad. I didn’t mean for you to hurt so much.”

 

I looked back to Michael, and the venom pooled in my mouth making my words wicked. “No, I suppose you didn’t. You just wanted what you wanted and really didn’t give much consideration to how it would crush me. You didn’t want me to find out.” It was all out of my mouth before I could really process that I’d even spoken. But it was nothing but the truth. At least the truth as I saw it.

 

“No, you’re right, Bella. I wanted to be fucking normal and have a normal life, but that just wasn’t in the cards for me. So I fucking hid like a little coward. And no, I didn’t take much time to consider how it would hurt you if you found out. That just wasn’t part of my selfish fucking plan...You weren’t _supposed_ to know. And now I’m losing it all; the pretty picture, my dignity, my self-respect. All gone. I’m still selfish enough to admit that I’ll miss what I had.”

 

 _Miss what he had_? What the good goddamn did _that_ mean? My brain felt like it might explode, and my blood boiled and overflowed with venom laced hate. “What, you _miss_ the wife you _pretended_ to fuck once a month when she begged for attention? You _miss_ the maid that did all your laundry and kept the house clean? What exactly is it you _miss_ , Mike?” Yeah I was seething a little. I could feel every muscle in my body tense and tighten. A knot built in my stomach and it rumbled with indignation.   

 

“I miss the girl I came home to, and talked about my day with. I miss my friend,” he said, shaking his dirty blond hair into his eyes, as if he were trying to hide himself from my view.

 

_Enough goddamn hiding already!_

 

“So, you regret my finding out, because you’re out a friend? Really! That’s your _only_ fucking regret?” I understood the feeling behind that loss, I did, but I couldn’t understand why this was the thing he regretted most. “How ‘bout lying to me for ten years?” I continued my tirade. “How about making me feel so profoundly unloved and undesirable that I’ve spent nights crying myself to sleep wondering what I’d done wrong? None of those register with you?”  I blew out a puff of hot air. I could feel the rose that was blooming on my cheeks.

 

“Yes, Bella, all of those. It kills me that I put you through all of that. I regret it all. But, I don’t regret our friendship and what I’ve shared with you over the years. I’ve learned so much from you, and you’ve always been a constant in my life and I miss that. I fucked things up and I know I might never have your friendship ever again.” His eyes looked heavy with moisture and his face was smothered in pain. 

 

“You never answered me before, Mike, why me? Why did you choose _me_? How was it so easy for you?” My hands were balled up in tight, tiny fists; my voice was still a pitch or two above acceptable conversation. For some sick reason, I very much needed to hear the answer to that question. 

 

“None of this was easy for me, Bella. But, for me you were like the cool water on a scorching burn. You made it feel better, feel _bearable_ to walk the halls of the school, to sit in a room full of people and not worry about what they were thinking. I had this deep hate for who I was, but when I was with you, you made that all go away. You made me feel good, human. Being with you, having you in my life made it _better_ and more comfortable, if only a little more complicated, but I was willing to deal with those complications because I was a scared. I could feel how much you cared about me, that you wanted me in your life. It’s made my life liveable. Sitting next to you, and talking to you always felt so easy and simple. I didn’t think I’d ever have simple and easy in my life, but you brought me that and I was selfish to want to keep it. I did...I do love you, Isabella. I just can’t love you the way you need me to.” His eyes glistened with tears and I saw hurt and longing in them.   

 

“You were so kind, and smart, and compassionate, and being with you made me the envy of half the bloody school,” he said with a weak chuckle. “It was all about appearances. I figured if I had the attention of the hottest chick in the school, no one would question me. No one would see...”

 

When I looked at him, my face burned with anger, and I saw the insurmountable fear and shame in his eyes. It ran so deep and it was consuming him. He was afraid and terribly ashamed of who he was. Seeing that melted me and took the pissy words right out of my mouth.  I was still mad as all hell that he’d used me like this, but no one should fear who they are. Ever.

 

“I’m sorry I lost it there. I guess I’m a little out of line,” I said, hanging my head.

 

“No, no, you’re right on the mark. You have every goddamned reason to be angry with me, to hate me.”

 

“I don’t hate you, Mike.” To some extent that was the truth, but there was a piece of me that absolutely despised him for what he’d done. I wanted to strike out at him and scream every awful thing I could think of. Part of me hated the man I’d vowed to love forever. But, what good would come of me saying that. I gritted my teeth, and continued. “But I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty pissed, livid, actually. I feel like you stole ten years of my life. But, I guess I need to consider your side a little more. I never asked how it went with your parents, how’d they take it?” I asked, sipping the remains of my wine.

 

He shook his head, and a tear slid down his cheek. “Mom couldn’t stop crying. She said she didn’t understand; that she was confused. Dad was so pissed I thought he was going to hit me. He wanted to put the blame anywhere but where it belonged. He wanted to blame you. He said some nasty things, but I set him straight.”

 

**_~~^~~_ **

**MikePOV**

I’d already lied and contorted every aspect of my life, there was really point hiding any of this from her now. So I recited the events of the evening at my parents.

 

_“Dinner was fantastic,” I said, taking a seat on the couch in the front room._

_“I’m glad you enjoyed it, it’s too bad Bella couldn’t join us tonight. You know I was reading this article the other about infertility and its link to-“_

_I had to cut her off. “Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you.” I took a deep breath and looked up at my parents. My hands were clenched together in my lap._

_“What’s going on, Michael? You show up here without Bella, and you haven’t stopped fidgeting since you walked through the damn door,” my father said with a stern look set on his face. I hated that look, I hated that he saw the fidgeting for what it was._

_“Bella’s staying at friends right now, Dad.”_

_My mother gasped, her hand flew to her mouth. “She left you?”_

_“Yes, but with good reason,” I tried to explain, but my father cut in._

_“And_ good _reason could a wife possibly have for leaving her husband?”_

_“Dad, stop. Just listen to me please. I need you to do that.”_

_He hung his head and sighed, but motioned with his hand for me to go on._

_“Bella left because I’m gay.” The words left my mouth and hung in the air. The room felt hot and suddenly alien to me._

_“No, that’s not possible Michael. You’ve always been with girls, you_ married _Bella. You’re not gay that’s ridiculous. Did she cheat on you? You don’t have to cover for her.”_

_“Dad for fuck sake, would you just listen to_ me! _Bella didn’t and_ never _would cheat on me. She left me because_ I _lied to her. We never should have been married,_ I _should have never been brave enough to except who I was. I shouldn’t have told her I’d love her forever, because I couldn’t. I’ll never be able to give her what she needs, or deserves.” I exhaled and locked eyes on my father._

_He sat across from me; sweat beading up his forehead, rage and denial made his face look old and hard. “This is because she can’t get pregnant. You think there’s something wrong with you because her goddamned insides don’t work-“_

_“Stephen!” my mother shouted._

_“You’re still not listening me, you never have. I look at Bella, look at her body and I feel nothing. She kisses me and I feel nothing.”_

_“Well, she doesn’t exactly have the most feminine curves...”_

_I’d had about all I could take, never once in my life as my father ever fucking listened to anything I said. Never really took me seriously. I raised my voice and looked directly at him. “She’s beautiful! But she’s not what I want, Dad. I’m attracted to men. What Bella or any other woman doesn’t do for me, a man does. Aren’t you listening at all? This isn’t about Bella right now, it’s about me!” I stood and started toward the door._

_My mother reached out and grabbed my hand. “Please, Michael, stay...talk to me. I’m so confused.”_

_I turned to look at her. Her eyes were brimming over with tears. Her hand shook in mine. “Mom, I’m sorry, I love you both very much but I can’t stay here if he’s going to continue to blame Bella for something that was never her fault.”_

_“I know,” she said looking over at my father. The glare she shot him was hard and indisputable. It promised violence if he stepped out of line again. She led me back to the couch and sat down next to me. Turning to address my father, she kept her hand firmly in place on mine. “Stephen, this is our son, and I swear to the almighty above, if you’re big mouth chases him out of this house and out of our lives, I’ll kill you. And don’t you sit there and criticize that wonderful girl. You had to have seen it, Stephen. Known that he was different.”_

_She turned back to me. “Not wrong, darling, just different.”_

_Dad didn’t say a word._

_“Are you sure, Michael? Are you sure this is what you want, what you need?”she asked, stocking my hand._

_“Yes. Years have gone by and I thought it would easy to just be what everyone expected, and I thought I could keep that up. But, over the last year or so it’s been getting more and more difficult to lie. I stay at work longer then I need to, and I book myself for every convention possible just to avoid having to disappoint my wife any further. I can see the hurt in her eyes when I don’t react the way I should to her. I can’t stand that look. She didn’t ask for this, don’t blame her.”_

_“Why didn’t say anything to us, why didn’t you tell us?”Her voice was pleading and choked in tears._

_“Put yourself in my shoes. Your brother is a star quarterback and your parents are very involved with both the church and the community. A father that never listen, just demanded, told. I know what you all expected of me. You expected me to be just like Paul. Star athlete, bombshell for a wife, and a beautiful family. I’m not Paul, and that terrified me. Everything about who I was screamed different and I didn’t want to be different. I wanted to be what you thought I should be. Bella made that possible. She eased a lot of that pain by being who she is. Dad, please, put the blame where it belongs; she deserves that much from me, from us.”_

**_~~^~~_ **

**BPOV**

My mind whirled around those words, ‘ _he wanted to blame you_.’ I could see how easy that was, how simple it would be to place the blame on another instead of really looking at the issue. I understood the mechanisms behind it. It was denial and the easiest way for him to cope with his son’s admission was to shirk the blame. It gave him a target; somewhere to aim all his confusion and anger so it wasn’t sitting full weight and lead thick on his chest.   

 

 “I think he was just really hurt and didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t get the big heave-ho from the family, but I’m not expecting them to all just except this. It’s a lot to wrap your head around. I think things will be fine, eventually.”

I offered him a friendly smile, and I patted his rough hand. “They’ll come around, Mike, they’re good people. Maybe not the most forward thinking, but I think when it comes to their son they’ll be willing. You’ll see.” I sincerely hoped that that was the case. It would be a true tragedy if Michael lost his family because of this. I resolved to do my very best to keep things amicable between us and hopefully keep some semblance of a friendship, even if part of me wanted to rip of his head and spit down his throat.   

**_~~^~~_ **

 

**EMPOV**

“So, you should totally come with us this weekend. We’re leaving Thursday night and staying until Monday afternoon,” I said, tapping at buttons and pushing the mouse around the giant mouse pad. “Fuck, why isn’t this character moving the way they’re supposed to? Bitch keeps running in circles. Grr.” Glitches pissed me off and wasted my time.

 

“Jasper wouldn’t mind an extra body?” Edward asked, watching me fiddle with mechanics of the video game character.

 

“Nope, not at all, dude. Fucker’s got a crazy huge house. And technically you’re the second extra body.” I quickly pecked out a few more commands and watched the results on the screen.

 

“Second? Who’s the first?”

 

“Mother humper! Stupid little fairy! Just do as I say... Mrrr. Huh? Oh, sorry man, side tracked by the video imp.” I flipped it the finger and smacked out another command, hoping this would rectify the problem. “And that would be Bella. I don’t think you’ve ever met Bells. She’s the one that stood in our wedding, Rose’s friend.”

 

“Aw, Christ, Em, this isn’t a set up is it? ‘Cause seriously, if someone else tries to set me up with one more ‘great personality’ I’ll slit my wrists, I swear.”

 

I turned to see him huff and roll his eyes. “Wow, easy there Mr. Melodramatic, no set up. I swear. But she does have a great personality and she’s fuck-hot. Tell Rosie I said that and I’ll beat you senseless, man.” I pointed my index finger at Edward.

 

“Ha, stubborn bitch, look at you walkin’ all straight!” Again, I offered my middle finger to the pixie on the screen and beamed in accomplishment. “Bella is great, seriously. But she’s bunches of messed up right now so I’d keep away. She’s buried hip deep in issues right now, which is why she needs a few days of good times and no worries. She fucking _deserves it_.” I turned completely in my chair to face Edward. I’d invited him because he’s kind of new to the area. Well, he hasn’t been back to Forks in almost eight years and most of his family is still back in Alaska. Meeting a few new people can only be a good thing. 

 

“She’s the one staying with you and Rose right now?”

 

“Yuppers. She’s at dinner with her soon to be ex-husband right now. They’ve got a lot of shit to work out,” I said, hoping everything was going alright for Bella. I’d hate to have to snap Mike’s little pencil neck if it hadn’t.

 

“So what’s the story, why the ‘soon to be ex’?” Edward leaned forward, taking a swig of his beer.

 

“It’s delicate dude and bunches of fucked up. But it’s only a matter of time before the whole damn town knows, so whatever.  Like less than a week ago Bella found out her husband’s gay.”

 

“Oh shit.” He looked around the room and then back to me. “That’s awful, poor thing.”

 

“Yeah, she’s a mess. Rose told me a bunch of shit.” I pushed my chair closer to him, knowing Rose was just down stairs cooking dinner. If she heard me relaying this I’m sure she’d hang my nuts out on the line right next to the sheets. “They rarely had sex, and when they did he never came. That alone fucked up Bells pretty good. I mean, it’s gotta mess with your head when you can’t even make your own husband cum. Bella told Rose the other night and I kinda heard most of this myself -‘cause I’m a nosy fuck, but for years now she hasn’t been able to, uh... get things done for herself. Ya know?” I shook my head in disbelief; hearing that shit literally broke my heart. The lack of attention over the years had turned her own body against her.

 

“You’re kidding me right? She can’t even bring _herself_ to orgasm anymore? Wow, that’s, that’s...a damn shame.” He ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head.

 

“Yeah,” was all I could manage.

 

“Ahh, Em, forgive my inner asshole here, but how did she _not_ know? I mean there must have been some signs, something?” He downed the rest of his beer and rolled the empty bottle between his hands.

 

“I’m sure there was, Doc, but he was pretty slick. She loved him, why would she even consider the idea, what reason would he have for lying to her?  She never questioned him because he said he loved her, because she loved him. And yeah he never told her she was pretty, never kissed her when no one was looking, but she just chalked that up to Mike being Mike.”

 

“Huh, sounds like this guys giant douche. How long did you say they’d been together?” He rubbed his jaw, and set down his empty bottle with the other hand.

 

“Um, since they were eighteen or so. They met in high school.” I turned back to my work, checking to see that the little winged freak I’d created was still working properly. When that was confirmed, I saved my work for the day and shut down the program. “You’ve probably seen pictures of them both; wedding pictures,” I said, opening the photo album up on my desktop. I flipped through the pictures until I found one of Mike and Bella at our wedding two years ago.

“That’s them.” I pointed to the screen.

 

“Yeah, I remember seeing those. Um, fuck-hot’s an _apt_ description. She’s stunning.”

 

I turned my head a little to look at him. He was practically salivating. “Need a Kleenex to wipe up the spittle, asshole?”

 

“What? No, shut up,” he stammered, looking more than a little embarrassed.

 

“Boys, dinner!” Rosie hollered from the bottom of the stairs. We stood up, and without a word trekked down the stairs.

**~~^~~**

“So, I think Edward might have the hots for Bella Bear,” I announced while Rose stripped down for bed. Her beautiful head snapped up, and her eyes narrowed- aw fuck I knew that look. I said or did something stupid. _Shit_. 

 

“And just what the fuck would have given you that impression, Emmett?” Hands on her naked hips, mouth twisted in a grimace -yup I was in trouble.

 

“He asked who else was coming this weekend-” _the truth._ “So I showed him a picture of Bells.” _And let it slide that she ain’t been gettin’ served_. “He said she was hot and drooled a little too-” _totally true_.

 

“Emmett, for the sake of your manhood, I hope you kept the shit about Mike to yourself.” Her foot was tapping, making her boobs jiggle in the most delicious way.

 

“Absolutely,” _not_ , I finished in my head. I wanted to keep my junk intact, thank you very fucking much. “Rose, think Bella’s out cold by now?” I asked, staring blatantly at her tits.

 

“More than likely. She looked so spent when she got in. She said they hammered everything out, but it was emotional. I think that whole situation sets a whole new standard for _emotional_.

 

“Emmett, if you think staring at me like that is a turn on, you’re wrong.” She turned for the bed, climbed in, and pulled the covers up over her; effectively kyboshing my ogling.

 

“Sorry, baby, but you know that body of yours is like a magnet. I have trouble keeping my eyes off it.” I settled in next to her and killed the light next to the bed.

 

“Just your eyes?” she asked as my hand grazed her hip.

 

“Mm, eyes, hands, lips, tongue...Whatever,” I admitted, not that it counted for much of an admission. This was shit she already knew full and well.

 

“Well, I wouldn’t want to deprive those beautiful blue eyes of yours,” she said, rolling over to straddle me. She flipped the light back on.

 

“Nope, would be a damn shame.” I let my hands roam over her thighs, her hips, across her rib cage, and then down her back; squeezing her perfect round ass. She giggled and leaned forward to kiss me softly. The kiss was delicate, loving, but it ignited a deep need in me all the same. My dick jumped to life, pushing against her bare backside.

I ran my fingers up and down her shoulders. Her skin always felt so smooth and soft to the touch, and she moaned when my fingers grazed the sides of her breasts. _Ok, those kittens totally need more attention_.

 

I brought my hands to her firm, very full breasts, kneading them. I rolled the nipples between my fingertips the way she liked. She offered her fantastic chest to me, arching her back and pushing into my touch. It was my turn to moan when she reached her hand back behind her and gently ran her nails over the surface of my balls. “Fuck that feels good!”

 

She crushed her mouth down on mine, and ground her hips into me. When air became a necessity, I sat up and ran hot, wet kisses up and down her neck. I nipped at the soft sweet spot just below her ear and got more grinding in response. “You like that?” I asked, sucking a little at the same spot.

 

“Yess,” she hissed, wrapping a hand around my shaft and squeezing.

 

“Aw Christ, Rosie,” I nearly shouted.

 

“Babe, you need to rein in the vocals. She might be asleep, but she’s not deaf,” Rose said, kissing my mouth, my face, and then down my neck.

 

“Right, shit. Sorry, baby.”

 

With one hand behind her, she pumped me and whispered moans into my mouth as I played with beautiful tits. When she quieted a bit, I lowered my face and began licking and sucking her pebbled nipples. She adjusted and lifted herself for a second. I could feel her hot, wet centre hovering above the tip of my cock. Slowly she pushed herself down, stilling only for a moment before she began to move. Our kisses became heated pants and groans.

 

I laid back and watched the goddess hovering above ride me. “You look so amazing up there. Open your eyes, Rose, please.” With a smile she complied. I took her hips in my hands, squeezing a little, and I helped her move. The pace increased as we stared at each other. One of her hands moved one of my own away from her hips, brought it to her face, and curled all but one finger back. She took it into her mouth and sucked gently. I knew what she wanted. I pulled it free from her mouth, and I ran it down the centre of her body, stopping at her clit. I worked tight circles with the same finger she’d just had in her mouth. Her body was practically vibrating. I knew she was close. I sat up, rolled her onto her back, and plunged into her with a quick deep thrust.

 

“Oh fuck, Em!” _Now who’s the loud one? Fuck it, it’s hot_. She panted and moaned as I pushed into her repeatedly. Rose met each of my thrusts; bucking her hips up to meet me. She wrapped her legs around me, and palmed my ass she dug her nails in.

 

I brought my mouth down on hers to drown out the string of expletives pouring from her mouth in rapid session. I could feel her walls begin to seize around me. I kicked up the pace just a little and that did it. Seconds later she was cumming hard around my cock. She was completely lost in her orgasm, screaming my name, and gripping the bed sheets with her little fists.

 

 I reached my breaking point seconds after. Watching her face locked in the throes of passion did me in every time. _Fuck, I love this woman_!

 

**~~^~~**

**BPOV**

“Oh fuck, oh fuck...shit, Emmett...urgh. Holy Fuck! EMMETT!” Rose screamed, and I clapped my hands over my ears. _Yeah they’re gonna pay for that in the morning_. _Big time!_ I thought as I seriously considered picking up ear plugs on my way home from work tomorrow.  I rolled over, happy to hear the fuck-fest had come to an end.

 

I thought about the appointment I had with the realtor tomorrow evening, and the two houses I’d seen in pictures on online. I wasn’t sure if either one was right for me, but looking certainly wouldn’t hurt. Just as I thought I would finally drift off, I heard the distinct buzz of my phone.

 

In the dark I fumbled for it. I turned the light on and opened the new text from Jake.

**_So I heard a nasty rumour... You left Mike?_ **

****

_Fuck, and so it begins_. I tapped out a quick reply, hoping he wouldn’t want the whole run down.

**_Yes, I did_ **

 

Twenty seconds later a reply from Jake. “Shit,” I hissed out loud.

****

**_Did he hurt you, Bella? What happened? Does this having anything to do with the IM conversation we had the other night?_ **

****

_So much for short answers._ I considered the best way to answer this and typed:

****

**_Yes it has to do with the IM, and no he didn’t hurt me, at least not in the conventional sense of the word. I would really like to NOT be the centre of town gossip, so when I say to keep your big trap shut, I mean it...  Mike’s gay._ **

 

I hit send and waited for Jake’s response. Which, I was fairly sure was going to be colourful to say the least.

****

**_Jake: Holy fuck me Sally! You’re kidding right?_ **

****

**_Me: Nope_ **

****

**_Jake: Oh, that’s all kinds of messed up. I’m soooo sorry. Now I get where the questions were coming from the other night. So, so sorry. Want me to pummel him?_ **

****

**_Me: Thanks, but no thanks. That’s the last thing either one of us needs right now._ **

****

_It must be a Y chromosome response. Some kind of biological need to beat the shit out of another human being when they experience anger on any level,_ I thought to myself. Well, at least that explained Emmett, Jake and Dad. Rose on the other hand...Sympathetic response? Or maybe the chick’s just got a violent streak in her a mile long.

 

The phone buzzed in my hand again.

****

**_Jake: Yeah, but what about what you need? Are you okay, Bells?_ **

****

**_Me: No, I’m not really okay. But I will be._ **

****

I hit send and considered my last statement. I wasn’t okay. I might never be okay again, not really; but that didn’t mean I couldn’t put on a good face for everyone and at least play the part.

****

**_Jake: Um, please don’t get mad at me for asking, but has he been seeing anyone?_ **

****

**_Me: Not that I know of. I really hadn’t thought to ask. Crap._ **

****

**_Jake: You need to ask. What if he’s been with someone?_ **

****

Well, fuck my life. I hadn’t even thought of that.  I never took Mike for the cheating type. _Then again your dumbass missed that huge your-husband’s-a homosexual-thing._ _Son of an ugly whore!_ What if he’s been with someone else? What if- and considering our sex life, this is a giant ‘what if’- he gave me something. FUCK.MY.LIFE.

****

**_Me: Jake, I gotta go. I’ll talk to later._ **

****

12:41am. Screw it, I’m calling. My heart was pounding, my palms slick, and every possible worst case scenario was firing through my mind. After five rings he finally picked up.

 

“Hello?” A sleepy Mike answered.

 

“Mike, I know it’s late and I’m sorry, but I’m kind of freaking out here. I need you answer a question for me. Okay?” I said as I paced the room; my fingertip being thoroughly chewed on.  

 

“Yeah sure, Bella, fire away.”

 

“Have you been with anyone?” I spit the words out and squeezed my eyes closed. Nervous tears seeped out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I’m a tease. I give you a little Edward and then tuck him away again. Sorry. I guess I should apologize for the cliffie too. Sorry  Thanks for reading and thereby allowing me to clean my wounds. Reviews are great, if you’re the reviewin’ type, please by all means...
> 
> You guys are all over the place too; I’m amazed how far reaching some of my readers are. Truly a very cool thing indeed that so many people from all over the planet can share something like this. Very cool indeed.


	7. Shut Up and Drive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * As usual I own nothing except the plotlines and bad taste in men. No infringement intended.*
> 
>  
> 
> Some hard love to my wonderful team, Emilou (pre-pre reader), Stella Blue Bella (pre-reader and wonderful sounding board), and SnarkyMuch82 (beta)
> 
> Just in case you need a re-cap of the last chapter, Bella asked Mike a rather critical question and I left you hanging. So now we pick up where we’d left off. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, race ya to the bottom.

**Chapter Seven**

**~~^~~**

**Shut Up and Drive**

**BPOV**

"No, Bella, I haven't. I promise. I might be a liar and an asshole, but I'm not an adulterer," he spoke with conviction, and it settled my thumping heart quickly. I flopped down on the bed and heaved a sigh of relief.

"Okay, good to know," I said. My hands relaxed and the subtle tremble ceased.

"You didn't think... you thought... Oh Jesus, Bella, I'm sorry. I should have told you right off the bat. I didn't even think... I'm sorry you were worried, Isabella." I could hear the shame that tainted his voice, and I nearly felt bad for having asked, but I knew damned well that sleep would never find me again if I didn't ask.

"It's alright, panic attack averted. I'm sorry I woke you." I slipped back under the covers and settled in. I couldn't deny the weight lifted. I felt as though I could fully expand my lungs again, like whatever had been sitting on my chest, had crumbled to pieces. My fingers travelled over the lines of a pulled stitch in the comforter.

"Its fine, Bella.  _Anytime_  you want to talk or just call to scream at me, it's fine. I can take it, and honestly I deserve it regardless of the hour."

I smiled. "Thanks. Oh, and the town's gossip mill is already reeling. Jake called to tell me he'd heard I'd left. So it won't be long before the looks of pity and questions start," I informed him. I'm sure I sounded a little laconic, but I was tired in more ways than I could count at the moment.

"Shit, already? The people around here need a new freaking hobby." It didn't sound as if he were too shocked.

"Yeah, well, I just hope people remember their decency and keep their nasty comments to themselves." Small town boredom breeds small town talk, breeds small town assumptions, which then breeds ignorance and hate, and that was something  _neither_  one of us needed.

"One can only hope, my dear." There was just the slightest edge of trepidation in his voice. I didn't think he'd meant for me to have heard it, but I did, and it was there all the same.

"Yeah. Well, I'm going to go back to bed. I'll talk to you later, Mike."

"Goodnight, Bella, and again, I'm sorry." He hadn't just apologized for what'd happened thus far, he was apologizing for what was yet to come, and I appreciated that very much.

"Thanks, night." I hung up, placed the phone back on the night side table and flipped off the light. Turning on my side, I pulled my knees up to my chest, curled into myself and drifted off to sleep.

The two houses I'd looked at on Tuesday were awful. The first though, was nicely decorated and in a good location. The overwhelming smell of cat piss, however, nearly had my cookies crawling back up and out before I'd even seen the first floor of the house. Major turn off. The second, I'm sure, was listed as a historical building in Port Angeles. The bloody thing was a relic, and not a well kept one at that. The repairs alone would have cost me a fortune. Hopefully tonight I'd have better luck.

Driving down Merchants Road toward Riviera Drive, trees blew by on either side and the sun shone, which in Forks was a rarity. I rolled down the window and turned up the music just a bit little more.

 _Forks. Christ, am I really considering moving back to Forks?_   _This house better be everything the realtor made it out to be._

Five minutes later, I turned into a long, gravel driveway. The outside of the house was simple, taupe with white trim, a wraparound porch, and carefully planned out flower boxes that lined the steps leading to the front door. Pretty. I could easily see myself sitting on that porch.

 _I'm so getting a porch swing_.

"So?" Rose asked as I tossed my keys on the countertop and reached into the fridge for a bottle of water.

"So, pending bank approval and all that fun shit... I pick up the keys in three weeks." A smile stretched across my face that felt real. It was the first true smile in days.

"Bella, that's great! Three weeks, wow, that's a pretty quick closing. And, I gotta say I'm just a little shocked that it's in Forks. It means a longer drive for you." She gestured to the casserole she was just covering up when I walked in.

"No, I'm good, picked up something on my way home. It's perfect, Rose, practically in the middle of nowhere, new fixtures, beautifully decorated, and a great view. The owner, Sherry, is moving back to Seattle to be with her younger sister who was diagnosed with stage three cancer, so sad. She has four boys all under eighteen, no husband to speak of, so Sherry's going to take care of her and the boys. She was eager to get out there as soon as possible. And the drive is not that bad. Besides, I like to drive; it's relaxing," I said, in between gulps of water.

"Well, congratulations, honey." She finished covering the dish and stuffed it into the fridge. "So, Mike's keeping the house, and you're transferring the title and all that?"

"Yup, he brought the paperwork by the school this afternoon."

"Good." Rose plunged the stopper in the sink and turned the hot water on. "So, tomorrow we've got that transition meeting with the Jordan family at nine. It shouldn't be any more than an hour or so. We can leave for Seattle after that, sound good?"

I really couldn't wait to leave. Although I knew the rumours would soon rear their ugly mugs, I felt like I needed this now that  _everything_  had truly been laid bare.

"Works for me. So, who's the friend that Emmett's invited?" I asked as the sink filled with soapy water. I snagged the dish towel to dry while we talked.

"Mmm, Edward Cullen, and I think I've mentioned him before. Emmett's college roommate," Rose said as she dipped her hand into the warm water, pulling up a plate.

"Oh right, I remember you talking about him now that I think about it. Couldn't make the wedding because his fiancée was really sick, right?" I asked.

"Right. Tanya had fallen ill that year with blood cancer. She passed away not long after that. Poor Edward, it devastated him and his family."

I couldn't imagine losing someone I'd loved like that. I'd only ever experienced the death of grandparents and none to horrible diseases. It must have been terrible to see her suffer like that.

Rose continued as I contemplated that. "Tanya Denali and her family were, and still are, very close friends of the Cullen's. His family used to live here —I mean in Forks— before. They moved up to Alaska when Tanya got sick- that's where her family is from. Edward's just moved back, and Em thought it would be good to get him out meeting new people. He won't admit it, but I know the big dumb bear really missed him." She winked, and handed me a dish.

"So, wait, have I met him? I mean if he was Em's roommate...?" I couldn't picture an Edward though I recalled the name.

"Nope, don't think you have. I've barely set eyes on the guy. He had a crazy work load most of the time and wasn't much for the social scene. Nice guy though. He was here Monday night; you missed him by like twenty minutes."

"Yeah, Monday night. Let's talk about  _that_ why don't we?" I snapped the now damp dish towel across Rose's backside; she jumped and turned toward me.

"What the fuck, Bells!" she howled as she rubbed her ass.

"Yup, heard plenty of  _that_  word.  _'Oh fuck, Emmett, holy fuck!'"_ I fake moaned, and giggled when she blushed and pulled her eyes back to the dishes in the sink.

"You heard that?" she asked in a sheepish voice.

"Rose, I'm fairly certain the neighbours heard that." I giggled again and shook my head as she handed me a small handful of silverware.

"Here I was—the asshole that I am— telling  _Emmett_  to keep quiet, and I end up being the one waking the dead. Sorry about that."

"No worries…Went and got myself a decent pair of earplugs, so have at it." Though she laughed, I wasn't joking. I'd stopped at the drugstore on my way to the school that morning and bought a pair of earplugs.

"Earplugs for what?" Emmett asked as he strolled in to the kitchen. The two of us burst out laughing while he stood there looking slightly amused by the display. He scratched the back of his neck and smiled, not knowing why he was smiling, and this made me laugh even louder. I pushed my hands into my sides, massaging the stitches that had formed from laughing and tried to straighten myself.

"Uh, okay… I've obviously walked in on some strange girly moment, and it's making me feel seriously stupid right now. So, I'm just gonna go put that movie in, and you two can join me when you're done with your epic laughing fit." Emmett smiled again, turned looking nearly like a wounded animal and strolled right back out the way he'd come.

I made my little moaning sounds and imitated Rose's fuck-me chorus before he was out of earshot.

His head whipped up, and he froze for a spilt second before he spun on his heels and glared at me. He broke into a devious smile. "Sounds glorious when she comes, doesn't she?" He winked at me, and then about-faced and made his way to the front room. I heard him chuckle and mumble something about 'earplugs' before I burst out laughing again. Rose joined in again, and we sounded like two witches cackling over a cauldron. _Cauldron, dirty dishwater, same thing._

Once Rose and I had finished in the kitchen, we joined Emmett in the front room. He had the movie cued up and was reading a sports magazine while he waited for us. "Ready for a whole bunch of awesome ladies?" His eyebrows waggled, and the grin he wore threatened to crack his skin.

"Aw, sweet pearl! It was Emmett's choice tonight?" I looked over to Rose. She rolled her eyes and snuggled down next him on the big chocolate brown couch.

"Play nice, Bella Bear, and I'll let you choose next week's movie," Emmett said, pressing play on the Blu-ray's remote.

I snagged a creamy white throw off the back of the oversized, matching chocolate seat and got comfortable, tucking my legs under me and bringing the throw up around my chest. "So, what super hero are we being subjected to tonight Emmy-Lou?"

" _The Green Hornet_ , bitches!" He rubbed his hands together like some maniacal little twelve year old, and now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

When the movie finally finished, I was tired and more than a little relived. Action movies could be all well and fun as long as they had some kind of substance to them. For the most part, I found super-hero, comic-book based movies to be sorely lacking in that department.

I said my goodnights and waddled to the guest room very much aware of the sleepy fog settling in. I knew it wouldn't take long to find sleep tonight. I got changed and then headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I pulled my hair back in a pony tail and sighed at the notice of the deep bags under my eyes. Though I'd been sleeping, it'd been fitful at best, and the signs of it were showing on my face. Turning off the bathroom light, I headed back down the hall.

When I heard rough panting sounds emanating from the living room downstairs, I realized Rose and Emmett hadn't followed me up the stairs after the movie.  _The couch, really? Other people sit there man. Ew._

"Ah fuck, Rosie, do that again," Emmett ground out, more than loud enough for me to hear, which I'm pretty sure was the point.

"Dude, you could  _warn me_! Earplugs only work when you've got the chance  _to put them in_!" I hollered back over my shoulder just before I shut the bedroom door. I'm sure I heard a wicked laugh boom from the first floor of the house just as I jammed the earplugs in.

_Unbelievable sluts._

I threw the comforter back, dragging the sheet with it, and climbed into bed. Reaching over to my cell phone, I set the alarm and turned up the volume on the ringer.

Pulling the sheet up and pushing my legs out in front of me, I sighed and let the weight of sleep pull me under.

 

**~~^~~**

**RPOV**

"I assure you, Mister and Missus Jordon, your son will have the same educational supports in place for him at Stevens Middle School that he did at Franklin Elementary. The only difference will be that Emily will be the Behavioural Specialist assigned to him in the fall. Bella will give over his file, and before the new school term commences, they'll sit down and discuss successful strategies for Milo; what's worked in the past and what hasn't. Our goal is to make this transition to middle school as simple as possible for him and for you. We understand that change is difficult for a child like Milo, Missus Jordan." I locked eyes with the slightly nervous mother, knowing she needed my reassurance more than anything. She needed to know her son was in good hands with Emily and the new E.A.'s he'd be introduced to in the coming school year.

This was just one of many transition supports meetings we'd have over the coming months as school wound down and a new school term crept up. Parents always wanted to know 'what's next' where their children were concerned. The move from elementary school to middle, then once more to high school, was no exception.

Emily was quick to toss in a few encouraging words. She was a bright girl with great instincts, and just like Bella, she was great at what she did.

We did the cordial handshakes and parting goodbyes and ushered the parents from the meeting room. Emily and Heidi, who would be working with Milo next year, volunteered to show them around the middle school their son would soon be attending. I quickly snagged my purse and turned to Bella who was tapping out a message on her phone, likely to Angela to let her know we'd be leaving soon.

"Ready to blow this pop stand, babe?"

"Absolutely. Let's get gone, Rosie." Bella sounded enthusiastic, and looking a little closer, she looked like she might have gotten a little more sleep last night. Though, that might just be a trick of the light or makeup.

I drove us home while Bella exchanged messages with Angela, giggling every now and then. She explained that Angela was talking about the giant baby she was carrying around and its need to pummel her bladder every chance it got. Sounded like poor Angela had spent more time in the bathroom today than in the classroom.

"Hey, it's twenty to twelve, text Emmett for me and see if he's picked up Edward and if they've eaten yet." I suddenly had a craving for pizza.

"Yeah sure," Bella said as her fingers typed out a quick message to my husband. Bella hummed along with the song on the radio,  _Walking on Sunshine,_ as we waited for a response from Emmett. A few moments later her phone buzzed in her hand.

**_Courtesy of Bella's Phone:_ **

**_Emmett_ ** _: I just picked up Edward, and no we haven't eaten, but we're totally planning on hitting up the In-and-Out Burger._

**_Bella:_ ** _Two against one Emmy-Lou Who, we want pizza. Sorry. Meet us?_

**_Emmett:_**   _Hey there, Edward here. Emmy-Lou-Who is driving, so I took over texting duties. Someone is going have to explain the nickname, or I'm going to assume Emmett's grown a vagina. Sorry to disappoint ladies, seems we're at an impasse here. I too crave the meaty goodness of In- and- Out. Pizza is simply not acceptable. Meet us?_

 ** _Bella:_** _Nope sorry boys, pizza wins the vote. We'll meet you back at the house. Okay? Oh, and pat Emmy-Lou on the head for me (Bella), he loves it ;_ )

I giggled at that last text. Emmett pitched a world class fit anytime she'd patted him on the head, whining about not being a child. Which was funny, because most of the time his behaviour said otherwise.

"Yeah, sorry boys, fuck In and Out. I want pizza!" I looked at Bella, and she nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

"Have you tried their thin crust with Portobello?" she asked, looking to me as she laid her phone on the dashboard, her eyes wide.

I shook my head.

"Oh my Christmas, Rose, you have to try it. So frigging good!" she exclaimed.

I turned into the pizzeria and licked my lips in anticipation.

We entered the small restaurant, seating ourselves as per the signs request. We'd barely launched into a conversation when a slightly nasal, but bubbly voice, chimed above us.

"Oh my god, Bella Swan, er, well, Newton I guess."

Bella's head snapped up, and her face reddened a little. "Jessica Stanley, how have you been?" I knew Bella well enough to know that she'd put some effort into sounding polite and cordial.

"Good, good. I moved back from Seattle like two weeks ago. My mom's not doing so well. She had to have surgery, so I came back to help out," she explained, flipping her light, mousy brown hair over her shoulder. It was thick and a little fluffy, but the shape of it suited her round face.

"Sorry to hear she's not doing well, Jess," Bella answered, and I could tell it was genuine.

"So, umm… I heard that you and Mike are separating?" she said, shifting her weight nervously.

"Yup, jeez, hasn't even been a full week. The Rumour Mill is alive and kickin' in the Pacific Northwest," Bella seethed, and looked down at her menu. Her eyes narrowed, and her leg bounced under the table.

I decided enough was enough. I wanted my damn pizza. "Well, Jessica, I'm hungry as hell. I think Bella and I would like the Portobello Pizza, thin crust, small Caesar salads to start. I'll have a ginger ale. Bella?" I looked over to her.

"Cherry Coke please, Jess."

"Sure, Bella. I'm... I'm sorry about you and Mike. I didn't mean to upset you. I seriously thought it was bullshit. I mean, you seemed so happy in high school." She wrote down our order and locked eyes with Bella.

"Well, appearances aren't always what they seem to be," Bella said in a quiet, but hollow voice. Bella would know  _that_  better than anyone.

Jessica tucked her tail between her legs and shuffled toward the kitchen to place the order.

"So, that's the one-time ex-twit?" I asked.

"Yup, hopefully she's not still carrying a torch for the boy. Man, will she be disappointed." Bella offered a weak smile with her response, trying for some humour, but it was less than effective. Two minutes later, Jessica returned with our drinks. I saw her jaw unhinge as if she were about to speak, and I just really didn't feel like hearing the fucking sound of her voice again. She quickly scampered off when she caught my glare.

Bella and I ate fairly quickly, knowing the boys would surely be waiting at the house for us, alone and unsupervised with various gaming consoles and bunches of seriously expensive gaming and entertainment equipment. The thought made me cringe a little.

When we pulled into the driveway, Edward and Emmett were sitting on the front porch, Cokes in hand, waiting with big greasy cheeseburger grins on their faces.

"Afternoon ladies, how'd the meeting go?" Emmett asked, waving.

"Good. The parents are little nervous about the move to middle school, but the kid is great. He'll be fine," I answered as I walked up the pathway toward him, Bella on my heels.

"And the pizza?" Edward asked, winking at me.

"Pizza was divine, boys. You missed out." I stopped in front of Emmett and planted a big wet kiss on his forehead.

He squinted at me and shielded his eyes from the glare of the overhead sun.

"Bella Newton, Edward Cullen." Emmett's giant paw gestured between the two.

"Nice to meet you, Bella. Until now, I've only ever seen you in pictures." Standing up, Edward reached out his hand and Bella walked forward to meet him. Their hands gripped and shook, each smiled for a brief second and then the strangest thing happened. They dropped each other's hand and stepped back, gasping.

_Well fuck me, do I note a hint of attraction here?_

_**~~^~~** _

**BPOV**

_Holy fucking Hanna, what the hell was_  that? I stepped away looking down at my hand, then back at him.

_He gasped, too. He must have felt that strange jolt._

"Um, nice to meet you, too. Pictures?" I asked, looking at the sexy as hell man standing in front of me with his mouth slightly agape.

"Wedding pictures," Emmett announced as he pushed passed the two of us and into the house. "And are we going to get going kiddies, or are you two content to ogle each other all fucking afternoon?"

 _Ogling? Was I ogling? I might have been_. Bronze hair, messy and looking oh-so-touchable. Piercing green eyes, strong jaw, soft, supple, suckable lips that were currently pulled up in smug, crooked smile. That was just his face.  _Gah._  I mentally fanned at myself.

My eyes roamed lower taking in the rest of Edward Cullen.  _Sweet Mary sunshine,_  the man was perfectly muscled and that clingy grey t-shirt was doing fantastic things to his arms and chest. My eyes started to wander just a little further down, but I was quick to stop them.

 _Yup, definitely ogling_.

A sharp  _thrump_ sound brought me out of my slightly lusty, copper hair-induced inner ramblings. Emmett stood there rubbing his upper arm, face puckered in a pouty scowl. Although I'd totally missed the transaction, I ventured a guess at the cause of Emmett's bothered face.  _Edward had cuffed him, ha._

I looked from Edward to Emmett and back again.  _Interesting, the boy only just met me and here he was, defending my honor._  "Uh no, we can get with the go any time you like, Emmy," I said, tearing my eyes off Edward and following Emmett through the front door.

"Okay ladies, go get your shit and let's hit the road," Emmett announced.

Another smacking sound emanated from behind me, and I chuckled when I heard Emmett whine, "Fucking quit, dude."

I was quick to do as I was told. I rushed off toward the stairs and down the hall to the guest room. I could hear Rose following me.

"Bella, sugar,  _that_  was an epic eye fucking you gave out there. Sure you're up to lugging your bags?"

I whipped around to glare at Rose standing at the door's threshold, hand on hip, head cocked, and the biggest shit-eating grin I've ever seen plastered to her pretty face. "Shut it, Rose… and there was no eye-fuckage, just a little ogling," I said, whispering with the dim hope she'd do the same.

"No, no, Miss Bella. Ogling is  _brief_ , and usually doesn't include drool. But if it makes you feel any better, I thought Edward's pretty green eyes were going to pop right out their sockets." She beamed wickedly at me before striding off in the other direction to retrieve her bags.

 _Evil bitch-faced woman,_ I thought, sticking out my tongue.

Keys in hand, and a small piece of luggage trailing behind me, I made my way to the front of the house and hoped like hell the terrible blush had receded from my face. I pushed the front door open, holding my car keys above my head. "Emmett, I'm driving, so shove that stuff in my car darlin'."

I began to descend the steps. The wheels of the suitcase groaned against the pavement of the stone porch. One step, two steps, and then my feet did what they did best and lost their grip on the stair, sending me ass over tea kettle. With a sharp gasp and a thud, I landed at the bottom of the stairs on my ass.

"Sweet mother of Satan!" I cursed. "Figures, it's been a little while since my last fall. Guess I was over-due. Shit... ow." I shook my head, well aware that Edward had witnessed my fantastic fall from grace. My face lit with a hard blush, and I silently added a wonderful string of expletives.

A hand jutted out in front of me. "Are you okay?" Edward asked, looking down at me, his eyes a little too amused for my liking.

"No, I just broke my ass. Hurts like hell thanks." I moaned in pain as I stood, taking his hand for support. Again that thin shock of electricity hummed between our hands, and it quickly pulled my attention away from my throbbing bum.

"Bella's got some issues with gravity, and balance, and walking. She has a charming tendency of breaking shit fairly often, too," Emmett roared from the driveway, nearly doubled over as he laughed.

Without looking away from Edward, I shot back. "Shut the hell up, Emmett, or I'll tell your wife to withhold sex for a week." Suddenly the boy was deathly silent.

Rose giggled behind us on the porch as she locked the door.

Edward smirked, and I pulled my hand away. I brushed off my sore rear and grabbed the handle of the rolling suitcase. "Thanks, apparently chivalry isn't completely lost, just on Emmett," I said to Edward with a shy smile. His eyes had my breath caught in my chest for second or two before I could properly exhale. The beautiful shade of green was not only uncommon, but alluring. I felt drawn into them.

"No problem," he said, taking the bag from me and heading toward my car with it. I popped the trunk for him.

"Bella Bear, maybe you shouldn't be driving. Ya know with your broken ass and all," Emmett whined, looking oh-so-hopeful.

"Not a chance in Satan's sauna, my friend. I told you I was driving. Rose has been peddling my butt around all week. I want to drive. Besides, I like driving." I knew he wasn't protesting my driving skills, or the car, but my music.

He stomped his foot and grudgingly moved the bags from Rose's car to mine. Rose strode over to him and placed a hand on his bicep. "You can't always have things your way, you big suck," she said as she kissed his cheek.

"But her music  _sucks_." His bottom lip stuck out, and she quickly sucked into her mouth. Emmett was now effectively distracted. Temper-tantrum forgotten.

"Alright, flove bunnies, let's go before the neighbours report the two of you for indecent behaviour. "Move it." I shooed them toward the car and made my way around the driver side as Edward shut the trunk. After moving and rearranging the cars in the driveway, we were ready to go.

" _Flove_  bunnies?" Edward questioned as he took a seat behind me. Rose was in the passenger seat next to me.

" _Fucking love_  bunnies," I said, clicking my tongue. "These two noisy sluts can't keep their hands off each other, regardless of who  _may_  or may not be awake to hear it," I explained, flashing a brilliant smile back at Emmett who sat pouting in the back seat.

"Nice." Edward shook his head, shut the door behind him, and buckled in. "Like the car by the way. I drive the same thing in silver."

"Alright, enough gabbing. Shut up and drive, Isabella," Emmett spat out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the gangs on their way to Seattle for a few days, the drives far from over and there's plenty of conversation and revelations on the way. And yes, more Emmy-Lou Who for you, you know you love him. Review if you like what you're reading so far.
> 
> And speaking of things you like reading... Aha Shake by TeamBella23 is fucking hilarious! You can find it over on FFn.. Bella's a man eater, Edward's a playboy. Vegas, Botox, bathroom sex and a ferret named Stevie Nicks.


	8. Rear View Mirror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * I own nothing except the plotlines and a rather impressive collection of plaqued movie posters. No infringement intended, promise.*
> 
>  
> 
> Now, are you ready? Comfortable? Buckled in? Good, let’s hit the motherfuckin’ road! (Pretty sure that   
> was Emmett).

**Chapter Eight**

**~~^~~**

**Rear View Mirror**

  
**BPOV**  
  
I got comfortable, adjusted the sunglasses on my face, and offered a big happy smile in the rear view mirror, looking directly at the over-grown toddler in my back seat. I smirked when he stuck his tongue out at me.  
  
“So, what is it about your choice in music Emmett so detests?” Edward asked, peering at me through the reflection in the mirror.  
  
“Bella’s taste in music is a little _eclectic_. Not something my man-child of a husband appreciates,” Rose explained.  
  
I cued up the first playlist and set it to random.  
  
“And so it begins,” Emmett moaned from the backseat.  
  
“Hey, my car, my tunes. I don’t complain when you play that _shit_ you call music, do I?” I retorted. Once again, he shoved his tongue out. “Petulant little bugger,” I mumbled, then backed out of the driveway.  
  
Edward seemed to find the exchange rather humorous, laughing and shaking his head. This was just par for the course as far as Rose was concerned. She sank further into her seat and adjusted her belt on her lap.  
  
“So, by _shit_ , Bella, I can only assume you mean the mindless rap he listens to?” Edward asked, sounding somewhat jovial, but strangely hesitant.  
  
I let my eyes quickly flick to the rear view mirror to sneak a quick glance at him. “Yup. That is exactly what I’m referring to. Now don’t get me wrong. There’s definitely some talent in the rap industry, and I fully recognize it, but it’s a rare thing as far as I’m concerned. And Emmy-Lou back there has a distinct talent for picking the worst of the worst. All stereotypical crap with no real substance to it,” I said, my eyes back on the road.  
  
“Bella Bear, what the hell is so great about _this_? INXS wasn’t even good in the 90’s,” Emmett growled, trying to keep up his pissy facade. It wasn’t working. I could hear the joking tone starting to creep into his voice. _You know you can’t stay mad at me, Emmy. Give it up already._  
  
“Um, _Beautiful Girl_ is a fantastic song, regardless of the decade, thank you very much.” I shot him the finger and winked in the mirror at him. A smile burst across his face.  
  
“Eddie boy, this is going to be long ass ride. Just when you’ve got yourself strapped in and ready for a 90’s throw back, she’ll switch it up with some new stuff. Hard rock, over to country, then she’ll toss in some indie folk-like shit, just to really torture the fuck out of me.” Emmett turned his face to Edward, explaining what he surely thought was some sort of musical calamity and grinning like an idiot the whole time.  
  
“A little variety is a good thing, Em,” he said to his friend. I could feel the burn of his glare on my face. I lifted my eyes to the mirror again, and sure enough, he was looking at me. _Sweet sin, but he is gorgeous_. I licked my lips and set my sight back on the road.  
  
“So, Bella, I know that you work with Rose, but what do you do? Emmett mentioned something about behaviours,” Edward asked, sounding genuinely interested.  
  
Hearing my name drop from his mouth again, all honey and earthen, made me squirm a little. It also kicked up a sandstorm of sultry, ardent visuals. _Visuals you shouldn’t be having. Bad Bella. Married Bella. Bad. Bella. Focus damn it, he’s talking to you._  
  
“Well, Rose over sees the Special Needs and Exceptionalities area of the school board. When a child comes to one of the district’s schools, and has been flagged with a learning disability, or perhaps diagnosed with a developmental or physical disability, Rose takes a look at the file. She makes decisions about how their educational career is going to pan out with us.  
  
“Once she’s identified the holes and barriers in their learning, I write teaching programs for them based on their Individual Education Plan. Then I work with the Educational Assistants, and Child and Youth Workers, to implement them,” I explained, feeling strangely giddy about someone taking any kind of interest in the work I do.  
  
“She gets the shit kicked out of her a lot,” Rose offered, glancing at me from her seat.  
  
“I bet. I had a patient in Alaska with severe autism -very aggressive- and more behaviours then I could shake a stick at. I saw how the parents struggled with it. You must have remarkable patience, Bella,” Edward said.  
  
I chose not to remark on my patience level. I got that a lot, and I sometimes found it exhausting. Yup, I deal well with behaviours, but it certainly doesn’t make me a saint.  
  
“Patient? You’re a doctor?” I asked, truly curious. I hadn’t thought to ask Rose about what he did.

**_~~^~~_ **

  
**EPOV**  
  
“Yes, Paediatric Endocrinologist. So, thyroid disorders, diabetes, pituitary disorders, exciting shit like that,” I explained, looking out the window.  
  
“Do you enjoy what you do?” Bella asked, interest laced in her thick, feminine voice.  
  
“Yes, very much. I love the new patients, the ones who haven’t been given a proper diagnosis yet. I get to play detective and find the things that may not be working in their bodies and help fix it, or at least stabilize it.”  
  
I could feel her eyes on me again, and I twisted my body more fully to the window, begging my eyes not to seek her out. She was delicate, beautiful, but could give as good as she got, at least where Em was concerned. That made her appealing to me, and her current situation made her off limits.  
  
The song changed. “Fuck, _what is this_?” Emmett groaned.  
  
“ _Tool_ ,” Bella and I said simultaneously.  
  
 _Huh, delicate, beautiful, feisty, and has a good taste in music. But still off limits._  
  
“ _Parabola_ , seventh track on the Lateralus CD. Might easily be my favourite song, so keep your damn mouth shut back there, sir,” Bella spat from the front seat.  
  
“Have you seen them live?” I asked.  
  
She nodded. “Amazing,” she said with a wide smile that I couldn’t help but notice. She turned her eyes to mine in the mirror again, and I quickly dropped mine to my lap.  
  
The car was quiet for a while before Rose piped up and started talking about the staff party that was being planned for the end of the year.  
  
“You should see this shit,” Emmett said, turning toward me in his seat. He shook his head and grinned. “These chicks are all business at work. Very professional and shit, but get them together with no students looking on, and no parents to answer to, and the game changes. _Big time_. The year-end school parties are epic. Think Woodstock and a sorority house pyjama party all rolled up into one.” A smile raced across his face as I looked to him in the mirror.  
  
“It’s really not that crazy; he’s exaggerating a bit,” Bella mumbled in defence of her co-workers, and maybe herself.  
  
“Bella Bear, you got high last year and sat with Emily on the deck and yammered on about the pros and cons of the Snuggie for Christ’s sake, not the meaning of life, or the existence of god. Nothing consequential, just fucking _Snuggies_ ,” Emmett said, clicking his tongue.  
  
“Stupid things are just glorified house coats,” Bella grumbled.  
  
I smiled, thinking that perhaps the seemingly ‘girl next door’ sitting up front wasn’t as wholesome as she first appeared to be. _Add confounding to the list._  
  
“Okay, not my finest hour, but whatever. We work like dogs all year, and one night spent in an altered state really isn’t that big a deal. Besides, I wasn’t the one caught in the pool house with their pants around their ankles, thank _you_ very much!” Bella said, with a smarty-pants grin.  
  
I watched the interactions between her and Rose. She threw Rose a knowing look and winked. _Much more like sisters_ , I decided.  
  
I rolled my eyes and thought back to some of the sexcapades Emmett had relayed to me, a good number of them involving public places.  
  
“Still got a thing for public places, Emmett?” I said, between chuckles.  
  
“The library,” Bella murmured, and looked to Rose, waggling her eyebrows at her.  
  
 _Her eyes are the most decadent chocolate brown I have ever seen._ _They seem so deep, thoughtful, and... honest._  
  
“Yeah, yeah. We got booted from the library in our senior year. The ass-hat here”—she pitched her thumb back over her shoulder indicating Emmett—“couldn’t seem to keep his mouth shut. We were escorted from the premises with a promise not to return. I had to send my book lists with Bella for the rest of the year.”  
  
There was a round of snickers. I remember Emmett telling me - a little too proudly - that he’d been booted from the campus library for _‘sexin’-up Rosie.’_ His words, not mine.  
  
“Flove bunnies, just like you said.” I shook my head and smiled at Bella.  
  
“Bella Bear, Emmy-Lou. What are the nicknames about?” I questioned, wanting to keep the conversation going, and Bella talking. I didn’t want to be interested in what she had to say, nor did I particularly appreciate the fact that my body seemed to respond so wholly to just the sound of her voice. She was tempting, enticing. She was something I couldn't have and shouldn’t want.  
  
 _I wonder if Emmett’s told her I know about her husband. She should know that I know._  
  
“Mmm, right, the nicknames. Not to worry, Emmett most certainly has not grown a vagina,” she assured. “Emmy-Lou Who came about one Christmas when we were snowed in and stuck in the dorms watching Christmas specials. _The Grinch that Stole Christmas_ was on. The good one, the cartoon. Big man Emmett here, knew just about every word. It was something to see, I gotta say. And so Emmy-Lou Who was born.” Her shoulders shrugged, and I watched a grin run from ear to ear at the memory.  
  
 _Huh, I don’t recall him ever sharing_ that _little tidbit with me. Maybe I’ll stitch it on a pillow for him. Better yet, a purse. Somewhere he can stash his balls._  
  
“Nice, very nice, Emmy-Lou. You do a man proud, my friend.” I chastised him in a sarcastic tone.  
  
“Hey, fuck you man! You cry like a little bitch every time you watch _Eight Below_.” Emmett’s retort was quick and a little defensive.  
  
Though I admit to feeling just a little embarrassed by Em’s remark, I was man enough to fucking own it. “I hate it when he finds the one dog that never made it off the line. Poor thing.”  
  
“Whatever, dude, you’re just as much a pussy as I am,” Emmett said with a confident chortle.  
  
“Not hardly, but I’m not going to argue the finer points with you, _Emmy-Lou_. So, what’s the deal with Bella Bear?” I asked.  
  
Emmett cleared his throat, and I watched him pull his shoulders back before answering. _Fucking goon._ “I’ve been with this chick the morning after a good party. Not pretty with a hang-over. I’ve even heard her growl, like _growl_. There’s nothing menacing about _that,_ though. She sounds like a pissed off cub. Kind of cute, actually.”  
  
In a rather juvenile display, Bella stuck her tongue out at Emmett.  
  
I errantly wondered what her tongue would taste like. Shaking my head, I forced that thought out of my mind and began silently reciting the symptoms of Addison’s Disease.  
  
Once my thoughts were back to something a little more civil, I asked, “So, you’re saying if Miss Bella here happens to get lit this weekend, I should steer clear?”  
  
“Hand her a coffee and walk away slowly. No sudden, jerky movements, and god help you if eat the last bagel,” Rose said, shaking her head, her golden tresses sweeping back and forth across her shoulders.  
  
“Duly noted,” I said, a little surprised that Bella might have an aggressive side to her, in any capacity. The more she spoke and the more that unraveled, the more befogged I felt. I was normally very good at reading people. I usually had them all wrapped up and pinned down within moments of meeting them. And at first, I thought Bella to be the typical girl next door, maybe a bit of disgruntled housewife, or bitter ex tossed into the mix. But with every piece of information, my assessment changed.  
  
I chanced a look at her face as she concentrated on the road ahead. Her lip was captured between her teeth, and the expression on her face was a tad... wanton. When she realized my eyes were on her, she straighted her back, rolled her shoulders and cleared her throat as though something might be trapped there.  
  
“Ahaha, great tune,” Rose shouted as the sunny opening beats of _Manic Monday_ began. She turned it up and both of the girls began to sing along with the song, smiling like idiots.  
  


_“It’s just another manic Monday,_

_I wish it was a Sunday_

_‘Cause that’s my fun-day_

_My I don’t have to run-day_

_It’s just another manic Monday...”_

  
I was stunned. Bella had a beautiful voice. What was husky and pitched low became a thick, creamy, sweet sound as she sang. I couldn't tear my eyes off her.  
  
She squirmed a little in her seat, feeling the burning gaze of my eyes set on the back of her head. She stole a look in the rear view mirror.  
  
I could feel the impressed, yet intense set of my face and eyes.  
  
She blinked repeatedly, seemingly confused by my look.  
  
“What?” she asked, catching my eyes.  
  
 _Aww, Cullen, you need to stop staring at this woman, man. It’s doing you no good._  
  
“Um, the McCarty’s failed to mention your impressive singing voice. I was a little shocked, that’s all,” I responded, refocusing my eyes elsewhere in the car.  
  
“Oh, hey, Eddie boy, Bella can sing,” Emmett offered in casual tone. My own frustration just made me want to cuff him.  
  
What was it about small spaces and close quarters that made everything feel so damned intense? So bloody close to the surface. Every movie I’d ever seen had moments like this, trapped in an elevator, sitting bedside in a hospital, or tucked into a far off booth in a dimly lit restaurant. The chatter might seem mundane on the surface, but was it was always laced with heavy emotion. This car was no different, even if I was the only one emoting.  
  
 _Don’t think so, boss. That lip biting brunette is throwing off some serious emotion herself,_ I mused as I glared out the window. “Thanks Emmy-Lou. Your wife is right, you’re an ass-hat.”  
  
Suddenly, Emmett leaned into me and made like I had something in the corner of my mouth. “Need a Klennex,” he whispered, and then shot a quick glance at Bella. I prayed that she missed that interaction altogether.  
  
In a hushed tone, I bit into him. “Shut the fuck up, Emmett.” Sometimes he could be _way_ too perceptive.  
  
“So, have you met Jasper, Edward?” _My name sounds good in her mouth. Her mouth, her lips, her tongue. Christ!_ I felt like I had no control over my thoughts as they ran rampant with thoughts of Bella.  
  
I shook off my daze and answered her. “Huh? Oh, Jasper. No, no I haven’t had the pleasure yet, but I hear he’s something else.”  
  
Rose’s head snapped around and her narrow gaze zeroed in on my face. “‘ _Something else.’_ What is that supposed to mean?” She got a little defensive where family was concerned. Obviously.  
  
“He’s odd, Rose. Seriously.” Emmett sure was great with words. Despite his insensate remark, I was grateful for the save.  
  
“He’s just a little different. He’s very sensitive to the moods of the people around him, that’s all,” Bella offered. She made him sound like some sort of supernatural being. “He has a rather uncanny way of knowing just how a person is feeling. It’s like he’s got some kind of special antenna that homes in on emotional frequencies. But, that aside, he is a wonderful person and a great friend, and I’m looking forward to seeing him again.”  
  
Everything that she’d said felt genuine. This was someone she cared about, and it was evident in her tone.  
  
Again the car grew quiet, and occasionally I’d hear Rose or Bella softly singing along with a song, but things were pretty quiet for a good half hour.  
  
Emmett decided that he’d had enough of the silence. “Have you heard much about Jazz’s new lady?”  
  
I gave a quick look to Rose, waiting for her to answer.  
  
“Well, I know her name is Alice. He met her at work, I guess. She’s from Seattle. Travels a lot for work, but she’ll be there all weekend. She sounds like a sweetheart from what Jasper has told me, but he said the same thing about Maria; and she turned out to be a world class psycho, so who knows,” Rose answered.  
  
The song changed and Bella began to sing along.  
  


_‘I think about how it might have been_

_We'd spend out days travelin'_

_It's not that I don't understand you_

_It's not that I don't want to be with you_

_But you only wanted me_

_The way you wanted me_

 

_So, I will head out alone and hope for the best_

_And we can hang our heads down_

_As we skip the goodbyes_

_And you can tell the world what you want them to hear_

_I've got nothing left to lose, my dear_

_So, I'm up for the little white lies_

_But you and I know the reason why_

_I'm gone, and you're still there_

_I'm gone, and you're still there_

_I'm gone, and you're still there’_

  
“Fuck,” she muttered, her chest heaving.  
  
I watched in confusion as she curled her arm around her torso. She jabbed the NEXT button on the stereo’s face. The act was a little violent. I looked to Emmett and he looked just as lost as I felt.  
  
Rose reached over, and with her fingertips, she wiped away the tears that had begun to fall from Bella’s cocoa eyes. Again, I looked to Emmett and he shrugged his massive shoulders.  
  
“What is it, Bella?” she asked in a gentle voice, tucking a lock of mahogany hair behind Bella’s ear.  
  
“That’s the third song in a week, Rose!” Bella whined. “This keeps up and my freaking music collection will be decimated in a matter of weeks.” She rubbed her teary eyes with the back of her tiny hands.  
  
“Wouldn’t be a bad thing,” I heard Emmett mumble.  
  
Rose whipped around in her seat and landed a hard slap on his thigh.  
  
 _I’m sure he’ll be able to make out all five digits on that one. Sounded like it stung something awful._  
  
“Emmett McCarty, you unbelievable ass! Keep your fucking comments to yourself, or I’ll remove your lower jaw with a spoon. Got it?”  
  
 _Violence becomes her, holy crap, Rosie!_  
  
“Sorry, Bells, I didn’t mean... Sorry.” Properly humbled, Emmett hung his head.  
  
“What were the other two songs?” Rose asked in a hushed, silken voice. She looked concerned for her friend.  
  
“ _This Love is Over_ ,” she answered, “and our wedding song. I figured that one out on the way home from one of my house hunting expeditions earlier this week. Had to pull the car over so I could throw up. Again. Son of an ugly whore!” she half shouted, one arm still tightly tucked around her rib cage.  
  
It looked to me like she was trying to ease a pain, an ache.  
  
Curious, I asked, “What was their wedding song?”  
  
“ _Wonderful Tonight,”_ Emmett quietly replied.  
  
I’d always hated that song, but I felt bad that Bella was sitting there sobbing, and no doubt equating that very song with lies. I could see it on her face. So expressive.  
  
From the reflection in the mirror, I watched her face run through a marathon of emotions: pain, anger, hurt, something that looked like disgust, and finally resting on shame.  
  
 _Shame? What did this stunning woman have to be ashamed of?_ All she did was fall in love with the wrong man. A man who had lied to her for his own selfish benefit. He should be ashamed that he took advantage of her love like that. _I should be ashamed._ The moment I took her hand in mine, I was bombarded with sinful, lust filled pictures. How could I look at her like that? Emmett was right, she was broken.  
  
I was broken.  
  
I watched her face in the mirror. Each tear she shed seemed to shrink her in size. She looked so small behind that wheel.  
  
I noticed that her hands began to shake. Her knuckles were white, and her lips clipped tightly shut. I leaned forward bringing my mouth close her ear. _She smells like strawberries._  
“Bella, pull over. I’ll drive.” It wasn’t a request.  
  
“I’m fine,” she insisted, her voice thick with emotion. I watched her hands tighten on the wheel, wringing it.  
  
“Bella, you’re upset. Please let me drive.” I made my voice soft and placed my hand on her shoulder.  
  
 _Holy shit, there it is again, that... zing. It’s like she’s got an electric pulse running through her. I wonder what it would feel like if I ran my fingers over her bare skin. Her legs, her stomach, her beautiful breasts._  
  
I had to shake the thoughts out of my head and collect myself before the miscreant thoughts turned into full blown fantasies. _What the hell is wrong with you, Cullen. She’s broken, fragile._  
  
Slowly, cautiously, she pulled the car over to the shoulder. She took a deep breath and pushed the car door open.  
  
I climbed out of the back seat and stretched my legs while I had the opportunity.  
  
“Thank you,” she whispered as she brushed past me. Our hands connected for the briefest moment in time. Shivers marched up my spine, and I heard Bella gasp. We exchanged quick, awkward glances and then she folded herself into the seat next to Emmett.  
  
I adjusted the seat and mirrors, and then I looked back to see Bella tucked into Emmett’s side, quietly sobbing. He stroked her hair and threw Rose a worried look. Rose reached back and firmly took hold of Bella’s tiny hand.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Bella said, between sobs.  
  
“Don’t ever apologize to me for feeling like shit, Isabella Marie. Mike fucked up on a grand scale and he hurt you. You’re more than entitled to a good cry and a scream whenever the fuck you think you need it. No explanations need, and certainly no ridiculous apologies,” Emmett said, looking a tad murderous.  
  
I think Mr. Newton was very lucky that he was back in Port Angeles, more than an hour away.  
  
She said nothing as I pulled back on to the highway. Every now and again I peeked back to her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes fluttered and her chest rose and fell with each gentle breath; she had fallen asleep.  
  
“She hasn’t been sleeping so great since the whole Mike debacle. She left her husband recently,” Rose explained. “Of course, Bella being Bella, she’d rather push through it like nothing was wrong then stare down the barrel of _that_ gun. Ya know,” she whispered over the music.  
  
I nodded, understanding perfectly well what she’d meant.  
  
The song changed again, Beastie Boys. This girl really was all over the place. I smiled and peeked back at the sleeping beauty again. Her lips parted as she exhaled, and her tongue skimmed along the surface. I had to stifle a moan. Even with the soft anguish brushed across her features, she still looked like something to be devoured. Consumed. The thought was both erotic and utterly disturbing. I had no right to think these things, and I certainly had no claim over her.  
  
“What did you say, Rose?” I glanced to the side, looking at Rose from the corner of my eye.  
  
“Um, nothing,” she said, her voice was a little perplexed.  
  
“That would be Bells,” Emmett whispered from the back seat. “She talks in her sleep,” he explained.  
  
That made me smile. There was something incredibly endearing about sleep talking, I thought.  
  
In a sad, distant voice, Bella mumbled, “Why? Why would you... lie to me?”  
  
“I take it she does this a lot?” I asked, looking back at her.  
  
“Yup, I used to record it in university. She didn’t believe me. She gets pretty chatty, and sometimes, if you’re really lucky, she’ll even answer a question for you,” Rose answered, looking ahead at the scenery passing us by.  
  
“Wasn’t enough...” As she spoke her lip quivered. Which, I totally should _not_ have even noticed because my fucking eyes should be on the road ahead of me.  
  
I felt something close to heartache for this girl, believing she wasn’t enough, being lied to. No one should ever be made to feel like they weren’t good enough. Least of all, that beautiful creature behind me.  
  
 _Stop it, Cullen, you’re treading in dangerous waters, man._  
  
“He doesn’t love me,” she stated, clear as a bell.  
  
Rose shuddered and turned to look behind her at her dozing friend.  
  
As I drove away from home, and what was safe and easy, a war was blooming and booming inside me. The need I felt to know Bella, to _have_ Bella, warred with my instinct to keep away. I wanted to jump from the fucking car and slither back to Forks, hide myself away where I felt safe. I wasn’t ready to feel _anything_ for _anyone_ and here I was building castles in the air. My head tripping around perfect pictures of Bella; the girl I’d just met. None of this made sense to me, and she had been hurt so thoroughly, she deserved peace and a chance to really move forward. She deserved someone that wasn’t haunted.  
  
It grew quiet again, her even breaths paced the time. The sound of each exhale filled the car. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard Tanya whispering to me.  
  
Rose shifted in her seat. Bella continued making her breathy little sounds, and Emmett was focused on the cars we passed on the highway.  
  
I sat silent, and listened to the susurration that only I could hear.  
  
I heard it a second time “... _Edward_...” The ghost, the ethereal, strawberry blonde beauty wrapped her tongue around my name and whispered it one more time ... _Edward._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you didn’t mind being trapped in the car with those four. Hit review and tell me what you thought of this chapter. Thanks for reading.
> 
> Songs used or referenced in this one:
> 
> INXS- Beautiful Girl http://youtu.be/aH986VE47M8  
> Tool- Parabola - http://youtu.be/x3R4zkblHZk  
> The Bangles - Manic Monday - http://youtu.be/lAZgLcK5LzI  
> Rachael Yamagata -Reason Why- http://youtu.be/xuQvja_t1FY


	9. The Pixie Walks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.*  
> This chapter was brought to you by the letter “S.” S is for SnarkyMuch and StellaBlueBella, my ass kicking beta team. Thank you ladies.   
> Be warned, there are some darker topics covered here.   
> The road trips over, time for some good old BBQ’ing and hey why not dig up the past while we’re at it.

**Chapter Nine**

**~~^~~**

**The Pixie Walks**

**BPOV**  
  
“I can’t believe I slept the rest of the drive. I really didn’t mean for you to drive the rest of the way, Edward,” I said, eyeing his reflection in the mirror. He had an odd look about him.   
  
_Shit, maybe I freaked him out when I started crying_.   
  
“It’s fine, Bella. Rose navigated for me. Besides, you obviously needed the rest,” he mumbled.   
  
I watched his eyes flick to me. They quickly drop away when he found me looking at him.   
  
_Yup, you freaked him out, Bella. Way to go._   
  
“I’m sorry I flipped my cracker back there guys. I really wasn’t planning for anymore breakdowns. I promise that will be the last of them for the duration of the trip. No one needs to deal with Basket Case Bella. I’ll zip her unstable ass up nice and tight, I swear.” I crossed my finger over my heart in a gesture of promise and watched as Edward pulled into Jasper’s ridiculously long driveway.   
  
The house was a colossal Colonial. Pale, red brick made up most of the exterior; the trim, shutters, and finer detailing were painted in a creamy white. The black shingled roof top pushed the reds and whites to the forefront. Several small windows that faced the drive were decorated in blue and gold stained glass.   
  
A flurry of colour skirted the house from one side to the other. Wildflowers in every shade and size created a beautiful border for the front of the house. The walkway was decked out with small solar lanterns that looked perfectly placed and natural.  
  
Next to where Jasper’s dark green Lexus LS was parked, there was a canary yellow Porsche.   
  
_Cute little thing, must be Alice’s car._   
  
“Basket Case Bella drools in her sleep,” Emmett said, wiping his hand across an obviously damp spot on his shoulder.  
  
“Eww, sorry, Em. I did not mean to drool all over you.” My face was all screwed up when I looked up at him. A pink blush quickly spread from cheek to cheek.   
  
He laughed, shaking his head from side to side. “Not a problem, Bells.”   
  
Edward parked the car and popped the trunk. We all piled out and went about claiming our things. Rose and I stood at the trunk; I stretched my arms up over my head and then cracked my knuckles.   
  
An icy burn shot from my slightly exposed midsection to my face. It felt as though cool fingers were prancing over my skin, like eyes were roaming my body. I immediately began to blush when I realized that Edward was staring at me. More specifically, at that small strip of flesh that became exposed when I stretched. I pushed the shirt back into place and turned away from him when the look in his eyes turned cold.   
  
_Now, just what in the sweet name of peanut butter was_ that _about? Practically licking me one minute, shooting daggers at me the next. Bi-Polar much?_  
  
“What the hell are ya’ll doing standin’ on my drive?” Jasper asked, standing just before the threshold of the front door, his honey hued hair blowing slightly in the early summer breeze.   
  
“Jazz, my man, how’s it going?” Emmett boomed, moving forward. Edward followed close behind.   
  
“Going my friend, always going. Come on in folks. Let’s get you settled in, maybe get some drinks in ya.” He motioned for us all to enter, holding the door open.   
  
He embraced Rose, looking her over. “Rosie, you’re looking healthy.”  
  
“Is that your way of telling me I look fat?” She shot him a challenging looking, daring him to say it and promising violence if he did.   
  
“I’d never say that to a lady,” he replied, putting his hands up in a show of peace. “I just mean that you look good, happy. Emmett must be taking care of you.”   
  
“Nice save, cousin,” Rose said with a smile, backing away.   
  
I was the last one through the door. “Bella, darlin’, you’re looking a little put out. Did Emmett do something to piss you off again?” Jazz said, opening his strong arms to me.   
  
I wanted to point a finger at Edward and ask him just what the hell his problem was, but decided to shake it off.   
  
I stepped into his embrace and suddenly felt calm and content. He’d always had that effect on me. Something about Jasper was very soothing, like an old comfy quilt you relied on when you weren’t feeling well.   
  
“She drooled all over me, Jazz, look.” He pointed to his shirt in an overly dramatic, very Emmett-like, fashion.   
  
I huffed and rolled my eyes. “Not _yet_ , but it looks like he’s bent on achieving just that, Jazz.” I levelled a snide look at Emmett.  The oaf winked at me. Jasper eyed me for another minute or so, looking undecided about something.   
  
“So, you must be, Edward?” Jasper walked forward and extended his hand to Edward.  
  
“That would be me. Nice to meet you, Jasper, good of you to let me tag along,” Edward said, shaking his hand firmly.   
  
“Any friend of Rosie’s and all that stuff,” he said, grinning. “So, let me show y'all to your rooms, and then we’ll head out to the backyard. Alice is chomping at the bit to fire up the BBQ. I think she’s in the kitchen chopping, or mixing, or marinating something. Woman’s got boundless energy.” He shook his head and chuckled softly to himself. The look of affection on his face when he spoke about Alice made it clear that he was completely wrapped up in her.   
  
We travelled up the staircase to the second floor of the house. Jasper pointed out the guest bathroom on the way and showed each of us to our rooms.   
  
I always snagged the ‘blue room’ when I visited Jazz. The walls were painted the most beautiful shade of sapphire, and I’d always had an affinity for blue. Now, however, I wanted nothing to do with the room. The last time I’d been to visit Jazz, Michael was in tow. We’d slept in that room. We’d spent an entire evening curled up next to each other discussing baby names. We were in Seattle for our last IUI.   
  
“Bella, sugar, I assume you called dibs on the the blue room?” Jazz said just as we came to a stop in front of it.   
  
“No, no. I’d, um…” I looked to Rose. My chest began to tighten.   
  
Rose was quick to pick up on my discomfort. “Em and I will take that room, Bella. You get the big room.”    
  
“Thanks,” I mumbled, looking down on at my feet.   
  
“Edward, that leaves you in the sunroom down here.” Jazz directed him to the middle of the hall, between my room and the bathroom.   
  
We referred to it as the sun room for the most obvious of reason. The room had a giant skylight in the ceiling that lit up the whole room in a glow of natural light. Jazz had painted the room a rich honey colour that enhanced the sunny glow from above. Well, sunny glow when the sun would cooperate, and the infamous doom and gloom of Seattle ceased.  
  
“Okay, now that all of your belongings are where they ought to be. Let’s go see what the little woman is up to, shall we?” Jasper gestured for us to make our way back downstairs. Bringing his hand to small of my back, he led me forward. “You alright, darlin’?” he whispered.  
  
“I’m working on it, Jazz.”  
  
He nodded and rubbed small, soothing circles on my back. As always, when in Jasper’s presence, my mood began to morph, and the tightness in my chest began to crumble. I exhaled a slow, even breathe.   
  


**~~^~~**

**EMPOV**  
  
“Woman, where the hell are you hiding?” Jasper called as he led us into the kitchen.   
  
“I’m not hiding. I’m hunting,” said a tiny musical voice from somewhere beyond the island. The sound of pots and other such things being pushed around, rang through the kitchen.  
  
“Hunting for what, darlin’?” Jasper questioned, rubbing the back of his neck.   
  
“You know that thing the thing that…” A tiny, delicate hand appeared from beneath the island, hand clamping and unclamping like a lobster claw.  
  
“You mean the BBQ tongs?” Jasper answered with a chuckle, moving around the other side of the island to a drawer behind the hiding woman.  
  
“Yeah!” she shouted as she popped up like Jack in the Box. Her features were tiny and elfin, and wildly familiar somehow, from the thin but womanly curves of her body to the spiky black hair.   
  
“Holy shit, the pixie walks!” I announced, staring at the human representation of the Wonderland Pixie I’d created.  She spun on her heels and cocked her head.  
  
“Um, excuse me?” She looked a little annoyed.   
  
_Oops_.   
  
“You look just like the game avatar I created like a week ago. It’s fucking uncanny, man. Eddie, doesn’t she look _just like_ that little, winged freak I was working on?” I blinked a few times at the walkin’, talkin’ fairy standing before me.   
  
“The one that wouldn’t behave?” he said, laughing. “Ya, she does. Sorry, Alice, no offense, but you really do look like the little pixie girl in the game.” He moved forward and stretched his hand across the island toward Alice.“I’m Edward Cullen, and it’s nice to meet you.”    
  
She took his hand and shook it in a rather gingerly way, and then dropped her hand to her hip.  
  
“Um, Emmett McCarty, Master of the Pixies,” I said, stepping toward her. She met me half way, practically dancing around the centre island.   
  
_Christ, she even moves like her_.   
  
“Alice Brandon,” she announced as she gripped my hand.   
  
_Oh shit, she’s got a good grip_.   
  
I took the initiative and introduced the rest of the clan. “This is my wife, Rosalie. And this is our friend, Bella.”   
  
She bounced over and extended her hand to Rose.  
  
“Rosalie, nice to finally meet you. Jazz has told me so much. I feel like I already know you guys.” She looked up at my wife and shook her head. “Jazz hasn’t stopped talking about you guys since you called. I’m so glad you’re all here.” She jumped up and down, clapping her hands a little.  
  
Alice moved to position herself in front of Bella. They seemed to be studying each other, Alice smiling at Bella, Bella smiling back at Alice. Then Alice leaned forward and whispered something in Bella’s ear.   
  
“Thank you, Alice,” Bella said. I could only assume it was some kind of girly shit.   
  
Alice rubbed Bella’s upper arm before returning to Jasper’s side. “This is a great group of people, Jazz. They feel like…family, like home,” she said, ducking under Jasper’s protective arm, smiling up at him.  
  
“I told you so,” Jazz said, kissing the top of her head.  
  
“Okay, BBQ and drinks. Let’s get this shit going here folks,” Alice said in her trilling voice. She dodged around Jazz and out toward the backyard. We all followed.    
  
Gathered together on the deck, we sat around a large patio set. “So, what does everyone want to drink? We’ve got beer, wine, a variety of liquors, pop, juice, water, and Alice makes some wicked mixed drinks if you prefer,” Jasper asked while he deposited the platter of meat next to the BBQ.   
  
“Bella?” he asked, looking over his shoulder at her.  
  
“Mm, Rose, wine or sex?” Bella asked, looking at Rosie.  
  
“Sex,” Rose answered.   
  
“Sex it is. Alice, do you know how to make a Sex on the Beach?” Bella asked, smiling.  
  
“Of course I do, two?” Alice asked, looking at Rose briefly to confirm her drink order. Rose nodded enthusiastically, and the tiny pixie flitted back into the house with a wide grin on her round face.   
  
“She really does look like that game character,” I said, looking at Rose. She just rolled her eyes and laughed.  
  
“Gentlemen, what’ll you have?” Jazz asked.  
  
“Bring on the beer, sir,” I hooted, rubbing my hands together.   
  
“Beer works for me,” Edward said, his eyes shifting to Bella.   
  
_Yeah, it’s on like Donkey Kong, man. He wants her_.   
  
Alice returned with three glasses tucked into her small fists. She passed one to each of the ladies and kept one for herself. She flopped down next to Bella and let out a wistful sigh and smiled. “So, Bella and Rose, I know you work together with the school board in Port Angeles, and Emmett is a video game creator, but I know next to nothing about you, Mr. Cullen. Jazz mentioned that you’d gone to school with Emmett?” Alice said, leaning forward and scanning Edward’s face.   
  
“Yes, ma’am. We roomed together all but freshmen year. And I’m a Paediatric Endocrinologist,” Eddie explained, taking the beer Jazz was handing him.  
  
“Endocrinology, like glands and hormones and such, right?” Alice asked, tipping the glass to her lips.  
  
“Yup, you got it.”   
  
“You like working with children?”   
  
“Love it, their amazingly resilient little things. The human body can do some pretty evil shit to itself, though most kids take it all in stride. Honestly, it’s the parents I have most of the problems with.  You say thyroid disorder and they act like you’ve given the kid a death sentence. Far from it when you’ve got the right treatment. What about you, Alice?  I think Rose said you met Jazz at work. What is it you do?”  
  
 _Santa’s little helper?_ I thought.   
  
“Well, I’m a costume designer. Jazz and I met on set,” she explained, taking another sip of her pinkish girly drink.   
  
“On set?” Edward asked, looking a little confused, which was an odd look for him. I was normally the one left scratching my boggled noodle.    
  
“I work as a historical consultant, military, weapons, and things like that,” Jasper said, flipping the ribs on the grill. They smelled fuck-awesome. I hoped they tasted as good.   
  
I swigged at my beer and turned my face back toward Alice.   
  
“We met on a movie set,” Jasper clarified.   
  
“He was politely disagreeing with someone from the props department, and I was about to blow my top over the lead’s wardrobe malfunction. We both stormed off to the service truck for a coffee, and he nearly plowed into me,” she explained, gazing over at Jasper.  
  
“I didn’t expect a spiky haired midget to be standing directly behind me,” he countered, laughing.   
  
“Hey, watch it with the short jokes, bud.” Alice stuck her tongue out at Jasper and shot him the finger. We all chuckled.   
  
_I think I like this chick_.    
  
“Working as a historical consultant gets you all this?” Edward fanned his hand out. “I’m not trying to be a nosy prick, but seriously, they must pay you damn well.”  
  
“I’ve also authored a couple historical best sellers, but a good deal of this”—Jasper copied Edward’s action—“is thanks to a little Texas Tea. Daddy made a damn good chunk of money in the oil business. When I was twenty–two, he passed away and left everything to the remaining family. Rosie’s got a nice chunk herself, paid off those student loans pretty quick.”  
  
“What about your mother? Is she still around?” Edward asked.  
  
“Nah, she passed during child-birth. She had a weak heart.” I knew this is sore spot for Jazz, but he never let it show, much.  
  
“I’m sorry, Jasper.” Edward lowered his head and put his hands in his lap.   
  
I watched from across the table as Bella’s hand twitched, as though she’d wanted to reach out.  
  
“Don’t look so down, son. That was before me, and you didn’t know. So no worries, alright?”  
  
Edward shifted in his chair and raised his eyes back to Jazz. They nodded at each other. “So, working on movie sets, you two must have met some interesting people. Any set drama?” Edward asked, waggling his eye brows and effectively changing the subject.   
  
Alice giggled and set her drink down. “Oh good lord, you have no idea!  Leading ladies with diva complexes, man whores prowling the sets. Fuck, the directors are usually worse than most of the actors. Most of them have some sort of God complex.  I’ve worked with some really great people though, don’t get me wrong; Hollywood isn’t filled with assholes, but the assholes get a hell of a lot more press then the good folks do. Like that old adage, the squeaky wheel gets the oil.”  
  
“What movies have you worked on? Anything I would have seen?”   
  
_Eddie boy has a thing for movies, kind of like little Bells over there, who is currently staring at his lips. Thinkin’ about biting those bad boys, Bella Bear?_  
  
“Um, maybe.” Alice and Jasper took turns listing the movies they’ve worked on. I had to admit, the list was impressive. They must be damn good at what they do.  Alice has even had an Oscar nomination for costume design.   
  
_Sounds like the pixie’s got mad skills_.   
  
We sat around yapping and laughing at the table until dinner was served. Potato salad, barbecued ribs, and corn on the cob …and it was all _fan-fricking-tastic._   
  
“Goddamn, Pixie, this is some good shit. Jazz, I think you should keep her.” I looked over and nodded at him, and he smiled widely.  
  
“Ahh, so it’s all about the culinary skills. Never mind the vivacious personality, hey, game boy?” Alice joked.  
  
“Food is almost all the man thinks about,” Rose said, rubbing my bicep and giving me that, Emmett-will-be-Emmett look.   
  
“That’s hardly fair. Food is not _all_ I think about.”   
  
“Sorry, you’re right, baby. That was unfair. Food and sex,” she corrected, clicking her tongue.   
  
“That’s better,” I grumbled. I winked at the blond goddess sitting to my right as I tucked into yet another cob of corn.   
  


**~~^~~**

**EPOV**  
I couldn't help the direction of my gaze as Bella sipped at the remains of her second drink. She licked her lips and giggled at something stupid Emmett had just said. Her cheeks were a little rosy from the alcohol, and her smile was nothing short of breathtaking. Suddenly, her eyes were on my face, and I felt like she’d caught me with my fucking hands down my pants. I offered her a small smile and turned my attention back to the table.   
  
_What in good god is wrong with you, man. She’s bleeding, and you’re bruised. Let it go._   
  
I let my eyes slip shut for just a moment. I felt that whisper again, like a warm summer breeze sifting through a full, thick lawn, shaking the leaves of a great old oak tree, and gently blowing at the white eyelet curtains hanging from the kitchen window. I felt it flutter against the contours of my brain.  
  
 _“…Don’t you recognize her, Edward?…”_ Tanya’s phantasmal voice asked.   
  
I didn’t understand, and assuming I’d fully cracked sometime during the car ride here, I went ahead and silently asked the haunt just what she’d meant. _“Recognize who? I don’t understand.”_   
  
_“You don’t see her clearly, Edward.”_  
  
Before I could sink any deeper into my auditory hallucination, the breeze that fluttered around my brain, whispering in Tanya’s soft voice, pulled back. Gone.   
  
I opened my eyes and scanned the faces at the table. No one seemed to have noticed my little episode, so I forged on as though nothing had happened.   
  
“Jasper, I noticed you have a bit of an accent, but, Rose, you don’t. Did you two not grow up together?” I asked, looking across the table to Jasper, who was currently tracing circles on the palm of Alice’s pale white hand.   
  
“Until we were seventeen years old. We’re only seven months apart,” he explained.   
  
“After the trial, my father decided to pack up the wagon and head for Washington, while my Uncle Alvin and Jazz here stayed in Texas. My accent slowly died away, but Jazz still sounds like a hick,” Rose said, winking at him.   
  
“Trial?” Alice asked, looking over at Jasper and then to Rose with a hint of confusion in her eyes.  
  
“I was raped, and there was a hugely public trial.” Rose waved her hand dismissively. Her voice was solid and hard-bitten.  “And not everyone thought I was the victim I claimed to be. The basic assumption was that I’d asked for it. That somehow taking pride in my appearance was the social equivalent of a whore. All the looks and sneers, and ‘slut’ painted on my locker like every other week. Once the trial was over, mom and dad hauled me the hell out there. They couldn’t deal with it.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head. Her annoyance was clear. Rose was not the kind of women that tolerated pity, nor had she taken too kindly to having her choices made for her.   
  
Alice’s hand was set on her mouth, and she looked as though she might cry. “I’m sorry, Rose. I didn’t know, I…I wouldn’t have … ” Her head shook infinitesimally, her crystal blue eyes wide, tears building.  
  
“No, no, it’s alright, Alice. Don’t apologize. My parents couldn’t handle it; I, on the other hand, couldn’t have given a fuck. People can say what they want about me. I know who I am, and _I_ know what happened. I don’t regret what happened to me. I wouldn’t be the person I am now.” She looked directly at Alice when she spoke.   
  
“All those events that make up our lives shape us, the good _and_ the dark, awful ones. It’s just how we choose to react to them. If we fall to pieces, then life is bound to be a little more difficult. But if we use it to better ourselves, pull strength from it, then it truly becomes a defining moment, not a wasted one. Besides, it’s the best revenge I could legally exact. Fuckers think they got the best of me and that I’d spend the rest of my life tucked up in some kind of shell. No, no. I’ll live my life and be happy.” Rose laid her hand on Emmett’s leg and smiled.   
  
I’d already heard details from Emmett, but hearing Rosalie describe what should be an absolutely horrifying event as a defining moment in her life made me want to throw my arms around the woman sitting next to me and squeeze.   
  
“Well, you’ve got an excellent outlook on life, Rose. I admire that,” Alice said, clearing her throat of the tears that were no doubt trapped.   
  
“I try.” Rose held up her glass, tipped it to Alice, and backed the rest of her drink.   
  
“I wish I’d had that kind of strength when I was younger,” Alice said, looking down at her glass, her pinkie finger tracing the rim of the glass.   
  
“If someone picked on you, Pixie, I’ll beat the shit out of them, just say the word,” Emmett said, practically foaming at the mouth. _Boy’s got some anger issues_ , _maybe it’s hormonal. Too much testosterone?_ I pondered.      
  
“Thanks for the offer, Emmett, but I haven’t seen my family since I was eighteen.”   
  
Shock registered on each face at the table, save Jasper, who looked infinitely sad. The silence that enveloped us was nearly a solid, tangible thing when Alice spoke. “He locked me in the basement for years. It was so dark and damp down there. I was only allowed out for school. He didn’t want anyone suspecting anything,” she explained. “My little sister brought me breakfast and dinner; he wouldn’t talk to me or look at me. He thought I was a freak. Maybe I am.”   
  
“No, baby, just misunderstood. It scared him, and fear is a potent fucker. Makes you do stupid things, even to people you love,” Jasper said, reaching his hand out to her.  
  
“Alice, why would he lock you in the basement?” Bella asked, her bottom lip quivering.   
  
“I…I have these dreams. Some of them are more like nightmares, really.”  
  
“So, he locked you away because of night terrors.” Rose sounded absolutely furious. I had to admit, even I wanted hunt this man down and beat him about the head until he saw the error of his ways.   
  
_Shit, maybe I’m the one with the anger issues._  
  
“Not night terrors. Dreams, visions…like…Oh fuck, this is going paint me like six different shades of crazy!” She hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip. “I have dreams, premonitions. I used to tell him about them when he raced to my room at night to comfort me, but then some of them actually… happened.” She swallowed hard, her eyes burning a hole in the surface on the table. “That’s when he threw me in the basement.”   
  
My eyes grew wider and wider as she spoke. I was having a little trouble wrapping my head around this. Not that I thought she was lying, nothing about her face and demeanour reeked of lies to me. I’m usually _very_ good at reading people.  I think humans are capable of some pretty phenomenal things. Hell, I’d just had half-assed conversation with my dead fiancee. It was still a lot to take in.   
  
“Well fuck me Sally, the pixie’s a prophet!” Emmett said, smacking his giant paw of a hand down on the table, making it shake.  
  
Rose’s hand shot up and collided with the back of his head. “Shut the hell up, Emmett!” She glared at him in a way that caused _my_ balls to duck and take cover.   
  
“Sorry, Ali, didn’t mean to sound like an ass, but that’s some pretty cool shit, Pixie.” Em looked at her like she was the new shiny toy, and he couldn’t wait to play with her.   
  
_Fucking toddler._   
  
“No offense taken. I’m just shocked no one is calling the men in white.”  
  
Bella piped up, looking more than a little interested. “So, these premonitions, you said _some_ of them came to pass. Why is it that only some of them came true do you think?”   
  
_Good question_.  
  
“Well, Jazz has a theory.” She turned her face to Jasper and nodded.   
  
“Right, well, I _think_ something must have changed before the outcome, changing the way it played out. You know like the Butterfly Effect. One change, no matter how small, creates others down the line.” He said this as though he’d put a great deal of thought into it.   
  
“A viable explanation.” Bella nodded in acceptance.   
  
“So, no pointing and staring at the crazy girl? No open mouthed gawking?” Alice’s eyes roamed the group, looking for a naysayer among us and found none.   
  
“Nope. Dreams are complex things, and we’ve yet to even scratch the surface of what’s really going on in there, so who am I to doubt you. Besides, I’m pretty sure this freak here is some kind of empath. Makes perfect sense to me that you’d find each other,” Rose answered, tossing Jasper a knowing look.   
  
The light bulb went on. _So that’s what they meant by sensitive. Huh, interesting company I’m keeping._     
  
“So, All-Seeing Pixie, did you see us coming?” Emmett’s overzealous question earned him another sharp blow to the back of the head.  
  
“Easy, Rosie, keep that up and Doctor Cullen here is going to have to treat him for brain damage,” Bella chortled, looking over at me.   
  
The words _Doctor Cullen_ started a frenzy of torrid fantasies involving hospital beds and a naughty nurse’s uniform, Bella in said uniform. _Fuck, I’m going to hell for sure._    
  
“That ship done sailed, my dear,” Rose said with a wicked grin pulling at the corners of her lips.   
  
Everyone had a good hard laugh at that, except Emmett, who was pouting a little.   
  
“I didn’t see all of you, just Bella, and for a moment, you, Rose,” Alice informed.   
  
“Me?” Bella wondered, her face screwed up in confusion and curiosity. She leaned toward Alice.   
  
“Yes, the first time I saw you, I had no idea who you were. It was just you standing in a hallway, panting, holding yourself against the wall and um”—she looked around, before setting her eyes back to Bella’s face— “a pool of vomit at your feet.”   
  
“That was probably the morning I opened the key logger. I didn’t it make to the bathroom that time,” Bella explained.   
  
“But that happened?” I couldn’t help but ask. I didn’t doubt it, but I was still amazed by it.   
  
“Yes. Just like that, puke and all.” She looked so bereaved and ashamed. I felt my hand itch to touch her face, to caress her cheek, make it go away. _No touching, hands off the broken doll._  
  
“And next?” Emmett asked, full of interest.   
  
Alice squirmed in her seat a little, tucking her legs under her petite body. “It was the day you called Jazz to see about a visit—woke me up from a dead sleep, too. Bella was curled up in the centre of a bed, sobbing. Rose came in and crawled in behind her, wrapped her arms around her.  You looked like you hadn’t slept, and you looked…shattered.” Alice finished her sentence and pushed her glass away from her, looking down at the table.   
  
“Another fantastic day for me. See me looking happy anytime soon, Alice?” Bella’s voice was short and snappy, but I could see that she was trying like hell to keep the tears at bay.    
  
“As a matter of fact, I do.” Alice shot her a bright smile, nodding vigorously.   
  
“Do tell.” Rose leaned in and rested her head in her hands.   
  
“Nope, not a frosty chance in hell. If I tell you what I saw, it might change the outcome; and I think we all want a happy Bella.” Alice shook her head, and her lips pursed in a tight smile. “Alright, enough about the side show freak. Edward, where are you from?”   
  
I cleared my throat and my thoughts of a _very_ happy Bella, head thrown back in some passionate fit. _I swear there’s some depraved demon squatting inside me. What the hell!_  
  
“Huh? Oh, I’m from Chicago, originally, but my father moved us out to Washington when I was five.  He was offered the Chief of Surgery position at Washington General. After school, I moved to Alaska and started up a private practice. I just moved back to the area a few weeks ago.”  
  
“What brought you to Alaska of all places?” Alice asked, pushing her glass toward Jazz indicating he should pour her another.   
  
“Um, my fianceé. That’s where she was from.”  
  
“ _Was_? Oh shit, did I do it again?” Alice looked wild for moment as she registered my use of past tense.   
  
“Tanya passed away a little while after we were married,” Rose explained.   
  
“Fuck, I’m sorry, Edward. First Rose, then I embarrass Bella with the puke thing, and now you. Christ, Jasper, _please_ tape my fucking big mouth shut. Seriously,” she whined.   
  
“Alice, relax. It’s fine. It was difficult, yes. But I’ve finally worked through it, and I’m okay. . . mostly. I can talk about Tanya and doesn’t hurt so much anymore.” I decided to leave out the part about my hearing her. _I think we’re all full up on crazy right about now._  
  
I could see her beautiful face and strawberry blond hair blowing in the crisp, Alaskan air, her nose a little red, but her eyes warm and sparkling.  I’d always loved the light honey tone of those eyes.    
  
“Do you mind if I asked how she died?” Alice looked up at me from her spot next to Bella.  
  
Perhaps it was the result of the beautiful weather and the wide open space that allowed us to speak so freely. Maybe it was the way in which we all seemed to be tied to one another; both my past and Bella’s seemed to intertwine with Emmett and Rose’s. Jasper was tethered by family, and Alice seemed to be holding the future in the palm of her tiny hand. Of course, it may have been the booze. Whatever it came down to, I felt safe sharing pieces of my life here, as though we were all sitting under a protective bubble.    
  
“Blood cancer. It was a rather aggressive form, but she held on with grace until the very end. She was a rather tenacious little thing.” I smiled fondly at her persistence, insisting on a walk together every afternoon, regardless of the weather, regardless of the conditions. I gave her what she wanted of course, how could I not?  
  
“Alright, enough of this emo shit. We’re all fucked, alright!” Emmett’s voice boomed. I almost told him to keep it down, but then I remembered the lack of neighbours Jasper seemed to have and shut my mouth.  
  
“Rose is a rape victim; Jasper, the fucking mood man, has got mommy issues and a psychotic ex-girlfriend, and the tiny terror over there, was locked in a basement for a good chunk of her young life, ‘cause she’s a freak.” Emmett winked at her when he said that, making friendly to keep from being hit, again. “Bella’s husband is gay, and poor Eddie boy lost his lady. We’re all fucked.” He crossed his arms over his chest and nodded, pleased with his little rant. “Now, I need more beer. Bella and Rosie need more drinks, and I think we should put some tunes on or something.”   
  
Just then, I remembered that Bella wasn’t exactly aware that I’d known about her husband. I looked to her. Her eyes were sharply trained on Emmett. If looks could kill, the man would have died a thousand terrible deaths in that moment.   
  
“Bella, it’s fine…  I already knew. Emmett told me.” I told her, hoping my soothing, calm tone would be enough to calm her.  
  
Her head whipped around to look at me, and now I was writhing in my seat, wishing for an escape hatch. “You knew? Emmett, what the fuck!” she screeched. Her chair made a loud rumbling noise as she pushed away from the table and headed into the house.   
  
_Thrump._ “Ow, shit that smarts, Rosie,” Emmett moaned, rubbing the back of his big, meaty head.  
  
“Emmett, you stupid fuck. You told me you didn’t say anything to Edward about Michael. You lied to me, and you humiliated Bella. Not. Happy,” Rose said, shaking her head, her lips pursed in an angry line.   
  
“Fuck, Alice, you knew?” Emmett asked.  
  
“Yeah, Jazz told me after I told him about the dream I’d had. That’s what I’d whispered to her in the kitchen when we first met. I told her that I knew, and that I was sorry she was going through this.” Alice gave Emmett the stink eye.  
  
“I think I need to fix this,” I said, standing. “I should have told her I knew. Emmett should have told that I knew, but I guess you dropped the ball there. Hey, bud?”   
  
He was still rubbing the back of his head when he looked up at me and gave me a sheepish grin.  
  
I walked through the kitchen and around to the front of the house. I peeked into the front room, no Bella. I thought perhaps she might have gone up to the bathroom or her bedroom, so I checked each and still no Bella.   
  
I headed back downstairs and heard gentle sobs coming from the room to left of me. I followed the sound around the corner into a rather large study. Bella sat on a leather love seat that was positioned under a long bay window.   
  
“Bella,” I said quietly, cautiously.  
  
“I don’t know why that upset me so much. I’m sorry I freaked out.” Her voice was wet and husky.  
  
I slowly crept into the room, flipping on the light. “It’s alright, Bella. You’re allowed to be upset. Emmett should have told you that I knew. _I_ should have told you. I’m sorry, Bella.”  
  
“I assumed you knew I was separated, but the details being aired like that so casually…I…” she sniffled and crept forward just a little more.   
  
“It took you by surprise to hear someone say it out loud like that,” I guessed, sitting down on the arm of the love seat.  
  
Looking at her, her face was a little puffy, her eyes swollen with tears and a heavy blanket of embarrassment covered her. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, and her chin was tucked between her knees. I noticed, for the first time, that the fingers of her right hand were caressing the ring finger of her left, like a phantom limb.   
  
She followed the line of my eyes and drew her hands between her knees, and she pulled her shoulders back. “You don’t realize how heavy a piece of jewelry can really be,” she said in a haunted, hollow voice.   
  
“I can’t imagine.” I understood the weight of the loss, but not her physical manifestation. Had I had a ring on my finger when Tanya passed away, I think moving beyond her would have been that much more difficult for me. “You came to get away, to have a good time, so let’s head back outside, alright. I’ll even hold Emmett for you, so you can take a swing at him.”  
  
She laughed and sniffled again, wiping her face on the back of her hand. “Nah, I have a much better idea.” She unfolded herself and I offered my hand to her to help her up. When she took it, both of us looked at our joined hands and then back to each other. The buzz was still there, and it seemed just a little more intense this time.   
  
“What the _hell is that_?” Bella asked, her eyes glued to mine.   
  
“I don’t know,” I said, abruptly dropping her hand and whirling around to the door. I didn’t have an answer for her, at least not one that seemed reasonable. To be honest, the odd hum between us both pissed me off and intrigued me in equal parts. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t understand her.   
  
For a moment, everyone was silent as we made our way back to our seats on the patio.  
  
“I’m sorry, Bella. I’m an asshat. I really don’t mean to be, but it’s so tightly wound up in my DNA that it seems I can’t fucking control it sometimes. I really didn’t mean to just shout it out like that. And I shouldn’t have said anything to Edward without asking you first. You still love me, right?” Emmett batted his lashes and gave her a silly smile.  
  
“Yes, Emmett, I still love you. But, an outing like that deserves one in kind…” Bella’s voice trailed off and she had a devious grin plastered on her face.   
  
_Oh, this might be worth hearing._   
  
Emmett shot her a look of confusion, and then his eyes roamed over each face around the table. Rose was smirking. She probably had a fairly decent guess at what was coming, and she had no intention of sheltering her oaf of a husband from it.  
  
“Umm, huh?” Emmett mumbled.  
  
“An eye for an eye, Emmy-Lou.” Bella’s voice became sickly sweet and so completely laced with treachery, I couldn’t help but smile. “Emmett, what was your _favourite_ show when you were younger?” she asked.   
  
“Err, I’m not sure, Transformers maybe?”   
  
“No, honey, live action show, prime time show,” she prodded.   
  
“ _Boy Meets World_ , I guess. Why?”  
  
Rose laughed out loud and quickly clapped a hand to her mouth. She knew exactly where this going. Emmett, however, had yet to put it together, and I had to admit, I was perversely pleased with way he began to squirm in his chair.   
  
“Liked Topanga, right?” she asked.  
  
“Sure?” Emmett answered.  
  
“Emmett _really_ liked Topanga. At least according to his mother,” she explained. Comprehension and humiliation dawned on Emmett’s face. He’d connected the dots.   
  
“Poor mom walked in on Emmett frantically beating off to an episode of _Boy Meets World_ , and all he could say to excuse his behaviour was that Topanga was pretty,” Bella finished, and five out of the six people burst out laughing. Emmett crossed his arms over his chest and glared. That only served to fuel the fire, and we laughed louder.  
  
“How the hell do you even know about that?” Emmett challenged.   
  
Rose’s hand shot up in the air. “Me, that would be me. I told her.” She had a giant grin on her face.   
  
“And how the fuck did _you_ know. I sure as hell _didn’t_ tell you that!” Em grumped.   
  
“Your mom!” Rose hooted, tears streaming down her face.   
  
“Aw, hell,” Emmett sighed and sunk down in his seat just a little more.  
  
When we managed to calm down, Bella got up and went to Emmett. She kissed his check and squeezed his face, giggling.   
  
Something occurred to me then. “Um, Emmett, how is it that _you’re_ the one left standing on this heap of skeletons? I mean, so you got caught jerking off, big deal when you stand it up next to being locked in basement, or a gay husband.” I winked at Bella to let her know I meant no harm with the comment.    
  
He thought about it for a moment, looking at me then around everyone else. “Err…dude, I have _no_ idea. Oh, I was attacked by a bear once,” Emmett replied, offering his terrifying encounter with the bear.   
  
Once again, we all burst out into fits of laughter, and from then on, laughter and booze were free flowing, right along with the light hearted conversation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Doctor Cullen has an issues or two to work through. Hit up the review and send me a little love and maybe some aspirin for the gang, sounds like they might need it.   
> Thanks for reading and stickin’ with me.


	10. Bella Bear and Tom Petty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. All I’ve got is fucking hangover (I told you to send aspirin). No copyright infringement is intended.*
> 
> Hey look at that, you’re back for more, wonderful! Well hopefully the gang continues to entertain you.   
> Alright let’s be totally obnoxious and makes as much noise as possible, see if can’t wake these assholes up from their drunken slumber.
> 
> Warning: This shit is long! Sorry, I can be a wordy bitch sometimes.

**Chapter 10**

**~~^~~**

**Bella Bear and Tom Petty**

**BPOV**  
  
“Urg, too much booze Bella. Bad girl,” I mumbled to no-one but myself.  I felt like a bag of shit, lit on fire and tossed on the porch, just waiting to be stomped on. I knew good and well that those last few drinks were really not necessary, but I was already feelin’ no pain, so I figured why the hell not.   
  
I slowly drew back the covers and rolled to my side. The room heaved quickly to the left, and I slammed my eyes shut in hopes of keeping the dizzies at bay. Taking a deep breath, I tried again, moving _very_ slowly. When I finally managed to toss my legs over the side of the bed, and was in something pretty close to an up-right position, I looked over at the clock that sat on the bedside table.   
11:09AM. _Nice, I’ve managed to sleep nearly half the day away._  
  
 _Wonder if anyone else is awake yet?_  
  
I rose carefully, so as not to disturb the seemingly precarious hold I had on the room around me, stupid mother-sucker kept tilting on me. _I should tell Jazz about that, surely he’ll want to know his house is unstable._ I giggled internally at my lame little joke and walked to the small couch that my bag was resting on. Pulling supplies out one at a time, I gathered my things up in my arms and made my way to the bathroom down the hall, stumbling every so often. _Shit, maybe I’m still a little drunk?_  
  
Just before I reached the bathroom, the door to Edward’s room opened. He, too, was carting an armful of clothes and bathroom gear. He was wearing sleep pants, _just_ dark red sleep pants that hung dangerously low on his hips. His bare chest was lightly dusted with the same coppery coloured hair. He was lean and well defined, and _sweet Susan,_ he was mouth watering. His hair was a mess, but that was nothing new. I must have been staring a bit too long because I heard him clear his throat, and I quickly brought my eyes back up to his face. I couldn’t help that my eyes had caught on that perfectly formed V, and I couldn’t help that my mind conjured up a million dirty little images revolving around said V. Could. Not. Be. Helped.  
  
“Morning, Bella,” he greeted me in a rough, still drowsy voice.  
  
“Er, good morning, Edward,” I replied, biting down on my lower lip.  
  
 _Okay, did he just look me over? Surely I imagined that. Hung over and hallucinating, what a great way to start the day_.  
  
“Manage to sleep okay last night?” he asked, stepping out into the hallway.  
  
“I wouldn’t call it sleeping, booze induced coma would be more accurate, but I guess. You?”  
  
“Not too bad, world-class hangover though, you?”  
  
“Ditto, might actually still be drunk,” I said with a shrug. “The house keeps shifting on me, not cool. I already have major issues with balance,” I admitted, leaning against the wall for support.  
  
He chuckled and stepped even closer to me, and I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing for just a second or two. When I inhaled again, I took in the scent of him and was nearly floored by how damned good he smelled. I swayed on my feet. It may have been the booze, but I was more inclined to believe that it was him.   
  
He reached out, grabbing my elbow to steady me, and a surge of electricity shot up my arm. The feel of his rough, warm hand on my skin sent goose bumps riding all over the surface of my body. My nipples hardened painfully, and my girlie parts sang out for more. I quietly told them to shut the hell up.  
  
“Easy there, Bella. I think you’re right. You might be a bit tipsy still,” he said, smiling down at me.  
  
“Mmhm.” Was my brilliant answer.  
  
“Go take a hot shower and get your bearings.” He pointed to the bathroom we were standing in front of, released my arm and stepped back.  
  
“Oh, but you...” I motioned to the pile of clothes he had tucked in one arm.  
  
“Ladies first, please, go ahead. Besides, I’ve been warned already about pissing off a hung over Bella.” He gestured to the bathroom once more and then retreated to his bedroom. Before shutting the door, he winked and gave me that crooked grin again.   
  
I deposited my things on the counter top and began pulling my clothes off. Once the shower water was good and hot, I climbed in. Tilting my head back to meet the spray of the soothing water, I moaned. It felt both wonderful and agonizing all at once. As long as the shower spray wasn’t pelting at my throbbing head, it was bliss. I washed as quickly as one under my condition would be expected to and went about getting dressed for the day.  
  
When I pulled the door open, I was surprised to see Edward standing there across the hall.  
  
“Oh Holy Hanna! You scared the _shit_ out of me, Edward. Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to lurk around occupied bathrooms?” I took a step forward and swatted at his arm. He laughed at the ineffectual attempt at hurting him, and I scowled a little.  
  
“And there’s the bear Emmett’s been talking about,” he said, still laughing.  
  
“Shut the hell up and take your shower already. If you’re _lucky,_ I left you some hot water.” I spun on my heels and headed back to my room to put my things away. I could still feel him sneering at me as I walked away. I was tempted to pop him the finger, but I managed to curb that urge.  
  
When I made it to the oh-so-brightly lit kitchen, I was met with a flurry of movement, the smell of fresh brewed coffee, and soft music.  
  
“Alice, for the love of all that’s holy, _please fucking desist_ whatever it is you’re doing,” I muttered at the ball of energy noisily moving about the room.  
  
“Well good god damned morning to you too, Bella,” Alice said, standing in the middle of the kitchen, hands on her hips and glaring at me.  
  
“What, are you impervious to hangovers, Alice? You drank a shit-ton of that Sex on the Beach mix last night, how are you so... so... chipper? And fully functional?” I glared right back at her, not bothering to hide my disgust.  
  
“Nope, not impervious... I just bounce back quickly, I guess. Besides, I can put away my fair share of alcohol and then some. Great tolerance,” she said, flying back into movement, making me wince.  
  
“Mm, good for you,” I declared in a flat voice.  
  
“Sounds like, Bella Bear, is awake.” Jasper’s voice wafted in behind me, making me jump.  
  
“Christ on a cracker! What is it with the men in this freaking lopsided house, are you all bent on giving me a heart attack!” I would have shouted, but I knew damn well that that would have done _nothing_ stop the dance my cerebral cortex was currently doing. So I settled for seething, with ridiculous amounts of bitchy tossed in for good measure.  
  
“Yup, Bella Bear is alive and well. Good morning, darling,” Jasper drawled, giving me a wide berth, well out of swatting range.  
  
“Good morning and all that friendly stuff.” I swatted my hand in front of my face, as if chasing a fly.  “Now please tell your little woman there to calm the hell down and stop making so much noise. I’m trying to keep my brain matter from oozing out of my ears, thank you very much.” I watched him move around the kitchen, catching the tiny girl up in his arms.  
  
“Alice, baby, I told you to leave the mess, and that I would clean it when I got up. You really don’t have to do any of this.  Grab a seat, missy, and let me take over, why don’t you?” Jasper cupped her face and kissed her lips, then the tip of her nose.   
  
“Okay, okay,” she acquiesced, turning in his arms; she dropped the BBQ tongs into the sink.  
  
“Thank fuck,” I mumbled into my hands. Alice sat down on the stool next to me.  
  
“So, vicious hangover aside, did you have a good time last night, Bella?” she asked, drumming her fingers on the tiled island top. _I think she’s got ADD, chick can’t sit still,_ I mused.  
  
“Yes, I did. Dinner was fantastic, Alice, thank you.”  
  
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Besides, I love doing that kind of stuff, gives me something to do, you know.”  The drumming got louder and far more annoying as the seconds ticked by.   
  
“Ya, you seem like you have, um... a lot of excess energy.” I cracked a smile tilting my head toward her. She smiled back sheepishly.  
  
Jasper went about very quietly piling last night’s dishes in the dishwasher and started the cycle. Thankfully, it was a very quiet machine. Minutes passed by and the room grew silent, which I was so okay with. Jasper had taken a seat at the kitchen table, tucked into the corner, reading the paper, and Alice was sipping coffee. I shut my eyes and revelled in the utter silence and stillness of the room. Suddenly the stool next to me screeched loudly against the floor, and I winced in pain.  
  
I opened my eyes and watched as Alice moved around toward the cupboards again. She retrieved a big frying pan, the eggs and bacon, plugged in the toaster, and then pulled out a steel mixing bowl. Jasper continued reading not even taking notice of Alice’s movements.  
  
She cracked the first egg, and I felt a tiny protest in back of my brain, then another. I had to bite my lip to keep from yelling at her. The cracking continued; then she lifted the whisk, poised to attack, and I couldn’t help but protest, loudly. “So help me, Pixie Dust, if you make one more move...” I said through gritted teeth, glaring at the back of her head.  
  
She marched right up to me and put her face in mine. “You’ll what?” she challenged.  
  
“Chick fight!” Emmett hollered, effectively scaring the ever loving crap out of me, causing my booze addled nugget to throb, again. I was quick to notice Rose and Edward entering the room behind him.    
  
I spun in my seat to face him. “ _What_ in the sweet name of sin, Emmett! Is there some kind of conspiracy at work here?” My hands flew in the air in a show of exasperation. “Let’s see how many times we can get poor Bella’s _heart to stop_. First Edward, then Mood Ring over there, now _you_. Seriously!  Can’t a girl enjoy her hangover _in peace_?” I huffed, and turned away from him, my attention back to Alice, who was still standing very close.  
  
“ _Mood Ring_ , that’s a good one.” I heard Emmett mutter to Rose and Edward as he moved around me.  
  
“And you...” I hoped my look conveyed my promise of violence if she didn’t stop what she was doing. She put her hands up forming tiny, delicate fists and waved them around, looking deadpan serious the whole time.  
  
After a minute or so of glaring at each other, we both burst of into laughter, an action that swiftly reminded me why movement and noise were _bad_. I braced either side of my head. “Oh, ow... ow,” I said between rasps of breathy laughter. Everyone joined in, chuckling and obviously amused by the display.  
  
Alice brought her hands up, placing them over mine. “Oh shit, I’m sorry,” she said, still smiling. She reached up on her toes and leaned forward to kiss the top of my head. “Sorry.” She stepped back, wiping the tears from her face. “Okay, so Advil and coffee all ‘round?” she asked, scanning the kitchen.   
  
Everyone nodded. She abandoned the eggs, pouring them down the drain. Jasper took a few more coffee mugs down and began to fill each, while Alice placed the cream and sugar on the island for everyone.   
  
Alice took her nearly empty mug and held it out for Jasper to refill.   
  
“No offense, Alice, but I think you need more caffeine like I need a _hole in the head._ Maybe decaf from now on, eh?” I said jokingly as she sat down next to me.  
  
“Shut it you grumpy bitch.” Her voice was a tad sarcastic, but light and happy. She smirked at me, and I smiled widely.   
  
_I already love this chick!_  
  
She might be noisy and a little too perky, but she’s a spitfire and a sweetheart. Not a trace of Maria could be found in Alice. Maria was a conniving bitch with a pension for pyromania. When she didn’t get want she wanted from Jasper, she settled for his car. Maria had set Jasper’s Range Rover alight one night when he finally caught on to her scheming and kicked her crooked ass out.   
  
Alice might have some sort of psychic dream-weaver skills, but she certainly didn’t smell of crazy to me.   
  
After making up his coffee Edward sat down on the stool to my right, sipping quietly; a nearly tangible hum seemed to be coursing between us. I was sure if you shut off the lights you’d see it flowing in the air between us like a neon, liquid channel. It was powerful, and it my body come alive.   
  
My fingers twitched, wanting to reach out and touch him. Wanting to graze his arm and run my fingers along his jaw, to just feel the touch of his skin on mine. I balled my hands into tight fists, denying them what they wanted most. I let out a sigh, and he looked over to me. His eyes looked alive and a little wild. His posture was stiff, protective. I took in the grip he had on his coffee mug; the skin was pulled taught over the bones, like the mug was some sort of anchor and he was afraid to let go. I flipped my eyes down to his other hand sitting in his lap, balled into a fist.   
  
_Yup, he feels that too, most definitely_.   
  
I released my clenched fist and ran my hand through my still damp hair, shaking it out a bit and still looking at Edward. He gasped and swallowed hard.   
  


**~~^~~**

**EPOV**  
Fuck _,_ _does she have any idea what her scent is doing to me? She_ literally _smells edible._    
  
Of course, the very thought of her being edible brought with it some not so appropriate images; Bella perched before me on the island, naked, legs spread waiting for me; Bella in a whipped cream bikini; and finally, something a little more lurid involving Bella and strawberry ice cream topping.   _Sweet. Christ_. I shifted in my seat hoping like hell no one took notice of the ever growing hard on. _Perfect, you’re a pervert, Cullen, a boner at the breakfast table. Serves you right, letting your thoughts runaway like that._  
  
Thankfully Rose struck up a conversation, and Bella averted her eyes to the opposite end of the room.  
  
“So, what’s on the agenda today folks?” Rose asked, legs pulled up on the oversized kitchen chair.  
  
“I was thinking we could go dancing,” Alice piped up. “There’s a great club that plays a good mix of music, has pool tables on the second floor. It’s called Rafters.  The entire second floor is open; you can look down on the dance floor. The drink specials are usually pretty good too.”  
  
A unified groan filled the air. “Okay, no drinks,” Alice said, waving her hand through the air.  
  
“So, Rafters it is, what time?” Emmett asked, looking around the room for an answer.  
  
“Er, how ‘bout seven thirty or so? After dinner,” Alice suggested.  
  
“Sounds good. So until then, we’re free to lounge around and recuperate?” Rose said, sitting up and stretching her long, lean legs out before her, wiggling her pink painted toes.  
  
“Most definitely,” Jasper announced, chomping down on piece of toast. My stomach gurgled, guess it thought toast might be a good idea too.  
  
I stood up -offending hard on having receded, thank Christ- asking if anyone else might like a slice or two, and three hands shot up. Rose, Emmett and Bella. I made enough for two slices each, buttered and plated them. Passing Bella her plate, she smiled at me, and my heart strings tugged and pulled at me in a way that was both familiar and totally alien. _Grumpy and hungover she’s still nothing but angelic_. I smiled back. I sat back down, and the hum continued.  
  
“… _Edward._..” Tanya’s long gone voice floated through the air and directly into my head. I let my eyes slip shut, picturing her beautiful face.   
  
_“I can’t look at her and not think of you.”_ I silently spoke to the apparition. “ _She scares me,”_ I admitted.   
  
_“Don’t run from her, Edward.”_ And just like a cloud dispersing, her face faded.   
  
I opened my eyes to find Bella looking at me with a curious expression on her face. I studied her features and her kind smile. _“Are you okay?”_ she mouthed. I nodded and looked down at the piece of toast on my plate.   
  
My eyes flitted up when Alice moved around the room and began handing out Advil like it was Halloween candy, humming and smiling all the while. Handing two to Bella, she asked, “Think you ladies might like to go shopping tomorrow?”  
  
Bella took the offering and quickly popped them in her mouth, chasing them with a mouthful of coffee. A tiny sigh escaped her before she answered Alice.  
  
“Yeah, sounds good to me. Rose?”  
  
“Shopping, yes shopping was absolutely on the list of things to do,” Rose answered, nodding slowly.  
  
“Good. Not like I need an excuse to shop, really, but at least _this time_ I’ll have some company,” Alice said, her eyes narrowed and her lips puckered as she glared at Jasper.  
  
“I told you, little lady, I draw the line at clothes shopping. It’ll be a frosty day in July before I’ll willingly be subjected to _hours and hours_ of shop hopping. Sorry, babe.” Jasper’s voice oozed like thick honey. He smiled at Alice and winked. She shook her head looking a tad frustrated with the man.    
  


  **~~^~~**

One by one we filtered out of the kitchen. I followed Emmett and Jasper down to the den in the basement. According to Emmett, the man had a kick ass set up for gaming.  He was right. The large den was lit up by track lighting, and a giant flat screened TV was the focal point of the room. A sound system was set up with speakers in all four corners of the room. Creamy leather furniture was displayed like pews around an altar. The walls were a deep sandy hue and various cases displaying antique weapons of just about every kind were spaced evenly around the room.   
  
_The guy really does have a thing for weapons._   
  
I walked toward one display that caught my eye. A pair of pistols so detailed and intricate they were actually beautiful, were positioned in the centre of their glass enclosure. The pistols were heavily gilded in gold and silver with geometric designs of leaves and flowering plants.  
  
“Impressive, aren’t they?” Jasper asked, standing next to me with his hands clasped behind his back.  
  
“They are. The detail is amazing. How old are they?” I asked, looking from him to the guns mounted on the wall in front of me, a reflection from the overhead lighting catching on the corner of the case.  
  
“Oh, they date back to about 1810, give or take a year or two.  They’re French flintlock pistols, no doubt made at the height of French imperial power. They’re easily two of my favourite pieces in my collection.” He mused as he stood, rocking on the balls of his feet, his hands buried deep in his pockets.  
  
“Well, I can certainly see why.”  
  
“Edward, please don’t take this the wrong way, but do you intend on telling Bella how you feel about her?” Jasper asked, throwing me completely off guard.   
  
“Um, _what?_ What are you talking about Jasper?” I asked, my eyes wide and blinking. I probably looked like an owl.  
  
“Well, you heard Rose last night; I pick up on emotion pretty easily. And, boy, the emotions rolling off _you_ were a force to be reckoned with. Can’t say I blame you, Bella’s amazing. Beautiful, smart as hell, and one of those people I can honestly say has a fantastic personality and not have it be some kind of code for ‘she’s kind of chubby.’ But a wise man would tread lightly. You know what I mean?” He asked, looking away from the display to me, hands still pushed into his pockets.    
  
“She’s still married and going through some really awful shit. She’s confused, and scared, and more than a little angry with the way things have turned out for her. Not that I think any of that should deter you, son, just a heads up that it might be an uphill battle for _anyone_ choosing to pursue that lovely lady,” Jasper said, clapping me on the shoulder.  
  
“I, um... fuck... I have no idea what to say to that,” I announced, shaking my head and looking down at my feet.  
  
“Would it help you to know that Bella’s emotions are pretty much a mirror of yours, maybe a little stronger actually?” He scratched his head and quirked an eyebrow. “She’s always been a hell of an emotional person, though.  She often keeps it to herself, but she feels things very deeply, very intensely. Some things she can’t hide away from, though, like her feisty anger and her passion. Both always seem to get the better of her. I’m sure you’ve seen evidence of that already.”  
  
And I had, from the banter with our friends, to the breakdown she experienced in the car yesterday. “Yes, I have,” I said nodding.    
      
“I’ve always found it endearing, really. She _hates_ that side of her; she hates her reactions to her emotions. I think they make her feel out of control, or immature, somehow. If the girl could just learn to feel what she feels without worryin’ about how everyone else will react, she’d fair a lot better,” Jasper said in confident tone. I got the feeling he knew her well, and he cared a good deal about her.  
  
I turned away from the wall completely and looked Jasper in the eye. “I won’t lie and say I don’t feel _something_ for Bella.  I know I only just met her, but there’s something in her that pulls at me and makes me want to hold her, makes me want to tuck her away from everything bad and show her that things can be good. She’s stunning and bright and funny, if maybe a little grumpy when she’s hung over, but that’s totally excusable.  I’d like to just walk up to her and say, ‘I kind of think you’re amazing, please be with me.’” We both chuckled a little at my admission.   
  
I shifted my weight and sighed. “But all of those things scare me and make me want to run. I don’t understand how I can feel anything for someone I just fucking met. Makes no sense.”  
  
“Where the hell is it written that life needs to make sense? I think the one and _only_ point to any of this is to find that one person that makes you light up and smile like a damned fool every time you see them. Because without out them, it’s all pointless, all colourless and boring as hell. Don’t run from her, Edward.”   
  
I almost choked with his last words and felt the blood slither away from my face.  “But given what’s just happened in her life, I really don’t think...”  
  
“Don’t think, son. It’s highly over rated.”   
  
I shook my head and contemplated what Jazz was saying. Running wasn’t an option, even if Bella wasn’t my ride home. I knew damn good and well that if I chose to ignore this, _whatever_ the fuck it was, would haunt me, and one ghost in my life was more than enough. So I came up with the only conclusion that made sense at the time. “So I’ll let her take the lead? See what happens?” I said, looking to Jasper for encouragement.  
  
He grinned and nodded.   
  
“I promise you, Jazz, I’ll be careful. I won’t hurt her. I don’t think I _can_ hurt her. I have the feeling it would _kill me_ to see her in pain because of something I did.”   
  
“Oh I’m quite sure it’ll kill ya, son. And I promise it won’t be a quick death at that.” Jasper’s voice turned venomous. The dude was not playing around. Fuck with Bella and I would be greeted by the business end of one these weapons. _Duly noted_.  
  
I swallowed hard before answering, “Message received, my friend.”   
  
“Good to know. Now let’s go blow away some living dead folk, shall we?” He grinned and rubbed his hands together. The guy might be a few inches shorter than me, but fuck if I didn’t want to run and hide a little. His steadfast and calm demeanor was a little disarming to be honest.   
  
“Sounds good to me,” I said, following him to the T.V. where Emmett was already setting up the Xbox.  
  
“Dead Island... Have you played this shit yet, Eddie?” Emmett asked, looking as jazzed as a kid on Christmas morning.  
  
“Nope, zombies I take it?”  
  
“Yup.  The graphics on this are sick man. The gore is _ridiculous_. I fucking love it!” he roared, hopping in place.  
  
I watched on as Emmett and then Jasper took their turns beating the shit out of the walking dead, and I have to say, I couldn’t wait to get my kick ass on.  I’m sure it’s a Y chromosome thing, but I was totally looking forward to shooting the head of a corpse or two.  
  


**~~^~~**

**BPOV**  
“Whatcha doin’?” Rose asked as her and Alice sauntered up to me.  
  
“Writing the next chapter of _Confessions._ And what are you two up to?” I asked, not looking away from my laptop.  
  
“Wandering around the fucking house looking for you,” Alice said, peering over my shoulder. “So what is this, like a book you’re writing?”  
  
“Um, no, it’s a fan fiction story.” I blushed a little when I said that. For some reason, I was a little embarrassed relieving my somewhat dorky pastime to my new friend.  
  
“Fan fiction?” she asked.  
  
“Yeah, you know, you take the characters from a movie or book and toss them into your own stories,” Rose explained, sitting down next to me on the deck.  
  
“Oh, okay. I’ve heard of this before. Nifty,” Alice declared, plopping down on the other side of me.  
  
“Yeah, I know, thoroughly dorky, but I like to write and this is a great outlet.” I shrugged and looked back to the words on the screen.  
  
“Oh, I’m not judging, Bella. I’ve got a _dorktastic_ hobby myself,” she confessed, sounding a tad sheepish.  
  
I turned to look at her, quirking an eyebrow in curiosity. “Really? And what might that be, Pixie Dust?”   
  
“I like, okay, _love_ might be a more appropriate word... I love Karaoke. I have a machine here hooked up to the T.V. on the main floor. I can’t sing for shit, but I _effing_ love it,” she admitted, putting her head between her hands.  
  
Rose started laughing.“Freakin’ Karaoke? Are you kidding me? I was totally expecting something like organizing material swatches or some such shit. But I can so imagine you rocking out to some diva-pop tune.” She clapped her hands, still laughing and probably still picturing a tiny Alice belting out some 80’s tune in horrible fashion. I giggled right along with her.  
  
“We need to do that, like now. Is it in the living room?” Rose asked, getting to her feet. Her eyes were lit up with excitement.    
  
“Yeah, Jasper wouldn’t let me bring it down to the den, said it would corrupt his precious gaming system. Stupid boys,” she snipped as she moved to stand.  
  
“Save that shit and let’s go sing, Bells.” Rose beamed at me.  
  
“No way ladies. You can go ahead and exhale now, ‘cause it’s not going to happen.” I shook my head rapidly and looked back down to my screen. “You go ahead and humiliate yourselves. I’m good here, thanks.”  
  
“Oh don’t be such a chicken, Isabella. It’s no big deal. I already told you I can’t sing, and it doesn’t stop me.” Alice was practically bouncing. She looked so excited.  
  
“She can sing, Alice. She can sing just fine. She’s just worried what the _boys_ will think of her juvenile display,” Rose sang out, sounding a little more than snotty. I wanted to smack that smirk right off her pretty little face.  
  
“Juvenile, pff, Bella. They’re in the basement playing video games made for mindless throngs of teenage boys.”  
  
Alice had a point. If the boys could play their little games, then why not? I saved my document and began to shut down the computer.  
  
“Or is this an Edward thing?” Rose asked suddenly.  
  
“What? No, why would it have _anything_ to do with _him_?” I demanded.  
  
“Um, maybe because the man’s fuckhot and has been giving you a thorough eye-screw every chance he gets,” Rose bellowed.  
  
“Holy Christ, say it a little louder! I don’t think they heard you down there. Big tits, big mouth, absolutely no tact,” I murmured, shaking my head.  
  
“She may have no tact, Bella, but she’s right. From the moment you walked in, I could feel that _electric pulse_ moving between you. It’s hot.” She winked at me, and I flushed a predictable shade of red. “Besides, it’s pretty much a done deal with you two.”  
  
 _Excuse me?_  
  
“Can I ask what the hell _that’s_ supposed to mean, Alice?” I asked, biting the inside of my cheek and closing the laptop.  
  
“Remember those dreams?  Ya well, unless you two fuck it up on a grand scale, things are lookin’ pretty good for the two of you.” She danced around in place. A smug smile broke across her face.  
  
“Um, hate to burst that little bubble of yours, but I’m married,” I remarked in a dull tone, not meaning to cringe over the last word.  
  
“Honey, your marriage to Mike is about as legitimate as _his_ love of pussy,” Rose spat, and I nearly bit a hole clear through my cheek.  
  
“Again, I give the lady with the big tits and no tact credit. What you _had_ was never a real marriage, it was a mirage. I really can’t see him begrudging you a chance to be happy and have what you want and what you need.” Alice looked more serious now than I’d seen her since we’d met yesterday.    
  
“And we _all_ know you want it,” Rose mumbled under her breath.  
  
“What did you say, Rosalie McCarty?” I stamped my foot to get her full attention.  
  
“Oh come on, I saw it yesterday. I saw it this morning at the table. I might be blond, but I’m _not_ a dumb blond. You want him,” she said all matter-of-fact, planting her hands on her hips.   
  
“Bella, just relax, okay. If something happens, great. If it doesn’t, than I’m wrong. No harm, no foul. Alright?” Alice shook my shoulders gently, raising up on her tippy toes to look me in the eye.    
  
I shook my head. “No, nope. I might want him, but I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t...”   
  
Rose cut me off. “Get over yourself, Bells. A hot assed guy wants you, life could be worse,” Rose commented, rolling her eyes. Although everything about him, and being here with him, made me nervous, she was right, yet again. It could be worse. _He could have been utterly disgusted with me. Now that would have sucked._  
  
“Hmph... Yeah, yeah, I guess I’m being a little dramatic,” I conceded. “What’s the harm in looking, really?” I mumbled to myself.  
  
“Alright ladies, enough of the boy talk. I’m dying to sing a little Pat Benatar.” Alice was once again bouncing in place, eyes all alight. I couldn’t help but smile at my new friend.  
  
Alice set up the machine and brought her collection of CD’s out of hiding, while Rose and I poured a Coke for each of us. We snagged a box of Ritz crackers while we were at it.  
  
“Okay bitches, take your pick,” Alice said, spreading her hand across the numerous CD’s. The chick even had a book with a list of available songs. _Okay, possible ADD_ and _Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,_ I thought, smiling to myself.  
  
“Wow Alice, that’s quite the collection,” Rose declared as she perused the titles.  
  
“I like variety,” she said, plugging the microphone in. “Who wants to go first?”  
  
“Your machine, Alice, you go ahead. I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to sing,” Rose said, not looking up from the book.  
  
“Okay, ooh, _We Belong_... yeah.” She seemed to be speaking to herself at this point as she snagged a CD and pushed it into the machine.  
  
She fiddled with the remote to select the track she wanted and then hit play. The music kicked in and Alice began to sing. Well, an approximation of what _could_ be called singing.  She really was terrible, but she looked like she was having so much fun I couldn’t help but shout silly words of encouragement at her.  
  
Rose just laughed.

**~~^~~**

**EPOV**  
“What the good fuck is that _noise_?” Emmett barked, looking up to the ceiling.  
  
“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Ali’s talked the girls into Karaoke,” Jasper answered as though he expected nothing less.  
  
“So the girls are singing up there?” Emmett asked, sounding a tad incredulous.  
  
“Yup, well, Alice at least. I love the woman, but she can’t sing to save her sweet ass.” Jasper smiled and shook his head.  
  
“Fuck, it sounds like someones choking an owl!” I couldn’t help but laugh at Em’s comment. It really did sound horrific.  
  
“I know, I know. She loves it though.” Jasper looked up at the ceiling when Alice went for a high note, and we all winced.  
  
I turned up the volume on the T.V. hoping to drown out the screeching.  We played for a few more minutes, before we detected a change in performer.   
  
“Oh shit, I think that’s Rose,” Em said, looking a little shocked. “Fuck, she can’t sing either, but at least she’s not as bad.”  
  
We heard a round of buoyant laughter, and I suddenly wanted to be a part of that laughter.  
  
“Should we go see what the ladies are up to?” I asked, trying not to look too geeked.  
  
“Why not, sounds like their having fun,” Jasper admitted.  
  
We went upstairs and rounded into the living room. Rose was standing in the middle of the room watching the words run across the screen. She was belting out an interesting rendition of Belinda Carlisle’s _Heaven is a Place on Earth._ Bella and Alice had the most dazzling smiles plastered to their faces as Rose sang. Bella giggled when Rose messed up the words.  
  
“She can’t even get it right when the words are right there in front her,” Bella said, grinning and laughing.  
  
Rose heard her and promptly popped her the finger. When Rose finished with her song, she handed the mic off to Bella and leaned down to whisper something in her ear.    
  
Bella blushed and stood up to face the T.V. Alice was taking care of her music selection, queuing it up while she waited.  
  
Bella shifted back and forth on her feet, looking a little uncomfortable. She bit at her fingernail for a second before the music kicked in. Then she closed her eyes. The room filled with the sultry beat of a familiar song.   
  


_It’s all right if you love me; it’s alright if you don’t_

_I’m not afraid of you running away_

_Honey; I get the feeling you won’t._

Her hips started moving in time to the music. I doubted she even knew she was doing it, but it was fucking killing me. Her voice caressed me and sent chills running up my spine.  
  


_There is no sense in pretending_

_Your eyes give you away_

_Something inside you is feeling like I do_

_We've said all there is to say_

Beautiful, wicked images began to filter through my mind, her hips hypnotizing me, her velvet soft voice humming through me.   
  


_Breakdown, go ahead and give it to me  
Breakdown honey take me through the night  
Breakdown now I'm standing here can't you see  
Breakdown it's all right  
It's all right  
It's all right_

  
The song ended, and her eyes flipped open, staring directly at me. Those heartbreakingly lovely eyes roamed my face for a short time before a soft, small smile picked up the corners of her mouth. I don’t know what she saw when she looked at me, but as long as she was smiling, I was happy man. An incredibly horny, slightly perverted, haunted, confused man, but a happy man.  
  
“Who’s next?” Bella pushed the mic out toward Emmett and Jasper, but her eyes never left my face.  
  
 _Karaoke was nearly my undoing, and we’re going dancing tonight, fan-fucking-tastic_. My dick twitched thinking about Isabella moving in a crowd of people, swaying to the music. He had plenty of colourful things to say about that situation, none of them helpful or at all appropriate. Crass little bastard.   
  
_This is going to be a long, long night._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like hung over Bella, she’s much more assertive. What did you think?   
> The here’s the link for the song Bella was rockin’ out to, great, sexy as hell tune by Tom Petty and the Heart Breakers, called Breakdown -- http://youtu.be/QbG6M28UkFg 
> 
> Also, I need to give some love to some of my frequent reviewers: dkgors, HopeStreet, RobANDKrisChick, LisaF29, HockeyChick, lanigirl, and melee (both of you). You’re comments and encouragement are very much appreciated. And if I didn’t mention you this time around, keep your damn panties on, I will.


	11. Seattle Play by Play Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing. No copyright infringement is intended.*
> 
> Hey there folks, just a friendly reminder about language, lemons and Canadian spelling. If those don’t appeal to you, I have no idea how you got to the 11th chapter. Seriously, what the hell are you doing here, go find something PG-13. 
> 
> This chapter got a serious overhaul and the effect is something of a montage of the time in Seattle. Let’s set it to music shall we. Each section will have a tune attached. Enjoy the read.

**Chapter 11**

**~~^~~**

**Seattle Play by Play**

**Part 1**

  
**_Friday Night: At Rafters_**  
 ** _*What’s the Altitude_** by ** _Cut Chemist*_**  
  
 ** _EPOV_**  
I watched as Rose, Bella, and Alice slid their way into the crowd and began dancing. I’m fairly certain the song was by _Pink_ , an older one that I vaguely remembered hearing once upon a time, something about God being a DJ.    
  
From my vantage point, I had the most exquisite view of Bella, more specifically of Bella’s cleavage.   _Cullen, you depraved pervert, you._ My inner thoughts actually took it upon themselves to dole out admonishment for staring down at the delicate valley that the halter top had created.    
  
Bella’s chest, though humble, was perfection, at least what I saw of it from here. Her soft, creamy skin offered an outstanding contrast to the dark material of the top she wore. Her hair lay down around her shoulders, straight and thick. It fanned away from her as she danced and turned. For someone with balance issues, she was doing remarkably well on those heels.  
  
 _Fuck ... those heels_. _And those goddamn jeans! I didn’t think I’ve_ ever _seen an ass look quite so good before._  
  
“Enjoying the view, Eddie?” Emmett said, clapping me on the back, effectively ending my Bella ogling session. _Bastard_. I chose to ignore his question, and instead, asked if their game was over.  
  
“Yup, you’re with Mood Ring. The man has most certainly upped his game since the last time we played,” he answered.  
  
“Or, you’re as bad as I’ve been telling you.” I offered my friend my empty beer bottle, clapped him on the shoulder, and made my way to the pool table. Jasper was already setting up.  
  
“I can see why you like it over here, Eddie boy,” Emmett called out over his shoulder just as the first verse to Def Leopard’s _Pour Some Sugar On Me_ kicked in. I was more than a little tempted to turn around and head right back to that damned rail to watch the show, so to speak.  
  
My inner pervert conjured up a few 80’s worthy images of Bella and a pole. My inner pervert was also a massive asshole, because he found it insanely entertaining to pour water on her, _Flash Dance_ style.  And of course, she was wearing a white shirt. _Of course_.  
  
 _I am a sick, sick man; I need therapy._   
  
“Hey, you wanna break, son?” Jasper asked, bringing a glass of Coke to his lips.  
  
“Uh? Oh no, man, go ahead.” I stood to the side of the table and watched as he carefully lined up his shot.  
  
“All that day dreaming you’re doing, man, it’s dangerous,” Jazz said, looking up at me just before he took his shot. The colourful balls went clanging around the table, ricocheting off the sides and colliding with one another.  
  
“I know it, man, believe me. I really never thought of myself as um ... _creative_ before, but holy shit, the things that run through my mind. I’m telling you, it’s just not right.” I moved around the table sizing up my options. I found my shot, clear path, easy. I lined up and drew back the cue and struck the ball. With a barely audible thud, it found the pocket.  
  
“Yeah, well try toning it down a pinch, sir.”  
  
I suddenly felt a tad embarrassed. If Jazz could feel even a fraction of the horny teenage sentiments rolling off me, he was, no doubt, a little uncomfortable himself.  
  
“Sorry about that, man,” I said ruefully.  
  
“No worries, sir. It’s pretty thick in here as it is. Places like this are like giant oxygen tanks infused with Ecstasy. You breath it in whether you want to or not.” He took a sip of his Coke and placed it back on the table. “Was it like this with Tanya?” he asked.  
  
“What the twenty-four hour live porn show going on in my head?” I shook my head trying to dislodge the latest image, this one involving _mirrors_ for fuck’s sake.  
  
“Yeah, that.”  
  
“Yes. She was so beautiful and smart, and she damn well knew it. I couldn’t get enough of her. Everything she did was seductive, hypnotizing. She knew what she did to me, what she did to every man she met.” I was aware that my voice had become reminiscent and soft.  
  
“But Bella’s different?” The sound of the pool balls smacking shook me from my memories.  
  
I studied the table, watching where the balls finally settled. Moving around the table, I contemplated his question. She is different. Not just because _she’s not_ Tanya.   
  
“I think so. Tanya was never much of a wallflower, and there was nothing shy, reserved, or simple about her. I loved all of those things about her. Bella is ... delicate, fragile. I feel like if I say or do the wrong thing, it might shatter her completely. Do you know what I mean?” After making my shot and sinking two balls, I looked back to him. He looked pensive and a little curious. He nodded and I continued.  
  
“Tanya was always so bold. She knew she was a powerful woman. She fucking _knew_ she held all the cards when it came to me; she never used it as a weapon, though. But _God,_ her confidence was hot. Bella doesn’t have that. I don’t think she’s _aware_ of her affect on people at all,” I explained, hoping I wasn’t rambling. “I don’t think she knows, or _believes,_ that she’s a beautiful woman.”  
  
“Maybe she needs a _reason_ to believe it,” Jazz offered. “Look what life has offered her so far, a best friend who was never meant to be anything more and a husband who never really _wanted_ her. Not exactly a solid foundation for stellar self-esteem, if you ask me.”  
  
“I’m gonna go grind on my wife for a little while. You kiddies good here?” Emmett hollered as he started toward the stairs.    
  
We both nodded, and I stood in contemplation.  
  


**_~~^~~_ **

**_Saturday: Jasper’s Basement, 1:35AM_**  
 ** _*Breathe_** by ** _Anberlin*_**  
  
 **BPOV**  
Everyone else had tucked themselves in for the night, everyone but Edward and me. Wine in hand, we headed to the basement to talk. I walked over to the stereo system and played with the preset channels until I found something worth listening to. I turned it down a little more and then went to sit on the couch.  Edward was sipping his wine and perusing the impressive ancient weapons in the room. He came to sit next to me, one leg tucked in a casual way. He angled his body toward mine and ran the bottom of the wine glass over his knee in small circles.   
  
Squirming a little, he opened his mouth a few times as though he was going to speak, but then chose not to. After about three or four more times trying to push out words, I figured he needed a little encouragement. “Edward, say what you need to, please. It’s okay.”  
  
He sighed and laughed a little before speaking. “Bella, has anyone ever told you, Mike aside, that you’re beautiful? Because I get the feeling you haven’t been told that very often.”  
  
His question stunned me into silence. I really had no idea how to answer that. If I answered honestly, I would sound sad, maybe even needy or desperate. Because the truth of the matter was that the last person that told me I was beautiful, and meant it in the way Edward was implying, was Jake. We were eighteen years old. I thought about lying and trying to shake it off, but I had the feeling he’d see right through me.  
  
“You don’t have to answer, but don’t lie. You’re horrible at it anyway.”  
  
 _What, is he a mind reader? If such a thing were even possible, I should be mighty ashamed of the things I’ve thought about this man._  
  
I decided on the truth. “Michael aside, the last time I heard that I was eighteen ... I think. My ex-boyfriend Jake, he told me every day. Still does sometimes, but it doesn’t mean the same thing anymore.”    
  
“Jake sounds like a smart man.” Edward leaned forward a little more.  
  
“Jacob’s one of my best friends. We didn’t really work as a couple, and it took us a little while to figure that out. We were convenient for each other and both stupid, horny teenagers. We figured hormones and convenience added up to good relationship, and though we loved each other, it was never enough, never right. So, we agreed to be friends, and we’ve kept that promise. He’s married now to Leah, the rez’s resident _ball breaker_. She’s a firecracker, but a good woman,” I said, smiling a little.  
  
“Bella, it’s been more than more than a decade since someone has looked at you and told you how beautiful you are?”    
  
I hung my head. “Yes.” My reply was little more than a whisper.  
  
I felt him shift on the couch. “You _are_ beautiful.”  
  
I looked up to see Edward’s face pulled in close, much closer than I expected, and that odd, tingly hum that had been passing between us since we’d first shook hands, zinged through my whole body. I flushed a hot pink.  
  
“Look at me, Bella ….” He waited.  
  
I slowly brought my eyes up to meet his face.    
  
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered again.  
  
“You don’t have to say—”  
  
“I’ll say it until you believe it … you’re stunning … sexy … smart … gorgeous.” His eyes were so intense, I wanted so much to drop my gaze, but couldn’t. I felt like I was stuck in a current, being pulled under.    
  
“Stop, Edward, please,” I begged, feeling tears spring to my eyes.  
  
“God, Bella, look at what he’s done to you. You’re marred, bleeding, and you ...” He stopped midsentence and took in a sharp breath of air. “You don’t see yourself clearly,” he whispered. The look painted on his face was curious,  and I couldn’t quite decipher it. He fiddled with the seam at the foot his jeans, pinching the fabric before he looked back to me. Clear, green eyes sparkled at me.  
  
 _Holy shit Susan, those eyes are absolutely dazzling! He needs to stop looking at me like that. A girl could get lost quick in those green pools._  
  
“Would you be comfortable telling me what happened, Bella? If it’s too much, I understand, but I’d like the chance to understand you better.” He looked back down at his hands. “I know the general details ... husband isn’t who you thought he was, he hurt you. And I know you’ve got Rose, and you’ve mentioned Angela, but you can talk to me, Bella.” He looked back up at me and fingers swept across my cheek.   
  
My skin tingled and burned under his touch.    
  
Edward’s face was soft, waiting, but not expecting. Looking at his posture, his entire body was turned to me, open. No guards in place.   
  
My posture was a glaring example of ‘closed off.’ I pulled my feet up on the couch, tucking my knee under my chin, my arms around my legs. I’d done this without any conscientious effort. I took a deep breath and dropped one leg, leaving it dangling over the edge of the couch.   
  
“Edward, you don’t want to hear this story,” I insisted.  
  
“But I do, Bella. I want to hear it, if you’re willing, that is.” He looked into my eyes again, and they were as sincere as his voice. He reached out slowly, carefully and ran a lazy finger from my elbow to my wrist. “From what Emmett’s told me about you, about how you used to be, being with Mike has changed you. Loving him was challenging, I imagine. Leaving him was likely just as challenging. I just want to understand what that was like for you.” His pronouncement was as strong and as clear as his voice.  
  
“It’s complicated and embarrassing as hell, Edward.” I felt my stomach tighten in knots. Rose and Ang were really the only two to know _all_ the details, and the thought of letting someone else in made me feel physically ill.    
  
“The day I’d asked Tanya to marry me, I was so nervous I had diarrhea for hours. She thought I had the flu and refused to come anywhere near me, which made putting that ring on her finger a little difficult,” Edward admitted, his cheeks a tad pink.  
  
I smiled. _Smart boy_ , I thought. Trying to distract from my humiliation with an awkward little story of his own, very smart. After taking a deep, centring breath, I launched into the sad tale of how I came to be married to Mike, a man who only ever wanted to hide away from the world.   
  
“When Jake and I broke up, er ... or rather decided to stop having sex and just be the friends we were always meant to be, he left me feeling pretty good about myself. I really wasn’t expecting to fall into a relationship with anyone to be honest, but Mr. Newton was pretty persistent. He was charming and funny and sweet. He had a cute baby face and a great smile. He was easy to be with, so I figured why not.” I thought back to just how persistent he’d been and only now saw the sad desperation and ulterior motives in his features.  
  
 _Why didn’t I see that before?_    
  
“He took me to all the pep rallies and football games. We went to all the dances, although at the time I really kind of hated dancing. I wasn’t the graceful being you see now, you know. I was a bit of a klutz,” I joked, snickering at myself.    
  
“Right. Graceful,” he chuckled, and that lopsided, pantie melting smile spread across his face again.  
  
 _He really needs to stop doing that. It’s bad for my concentration._   
  
Clearing my head with a sigh and quick head shake, I continued. “We’d been dating for months, high school was nearly over, and he’d never even made a play to kiss me. So, one night after a game, I asked him why he’d never kissed me. We sat in my ancient truck staring at each other for what felt like hours when he finally said he was sorry. _Sorry,_ of all things. To say that I was confused was a fucking understatement. So, I asked him to explain that, and he said that I made him nervous, that he’d never really kissed anyone before. I said there was no reason to be nervous, and if he wanted to kiss me, he could. I was really hoping he’d get the hint and go for it already. But no such luck. We drove home in silence. I was so frustrated. I was sure if I’d said anything to him at all, it would come out wrong.   
  
“After that, he made an effort to be more affectionate with me. Holding my hand, kissing my cheek, hugging me, but it was never in private. Always when there were people around, and I realize now that he was putting on a show.    
  
“After about a year of nothing, literally, I’d finally had enough. I went home for Thanksgiving; Mike had stayed in Forks and was taking business courses at Port Angeles Community College. I confronted him. He explained about his family, his Catholic beliefs, and the need for him to take things slow.  He told me he loved me and cared about me. And I didn’t doubt him. Why would someone lie about something so ... intimate? So, I resigned myself to the knowledge that getting down my boyfriends pants was a slim prospect at best.”    
  
I took a mouthful of wine before setting it down on the floor next to the couch. “There were never any stolen kisses, desperate groping. Although, I did manage to get him to kiss me, but it was always so chaste.”  
  
“No tongue,” Edward said with a grimace and a light joking voice.  
  
“Nope,” I answered, popping the p.  
  
“Bummer,” he said, shaking his head.  
  
“Indeed. Anyway, I’ll fast forward and try to keep it short. I fully expected our married life to be different. After all, we were _married_ , the gloves were off, the good boy rules no longer applied. I was mistaken.” My chest heaved with a great sigh, and I shook my head. “We didn’t consummate our marriage until two days later and didn’t do it again while we were on our honeymoon, which was disappointing to say the least. Home wasn’t much better.  We had sex maybe once a week, scheduled of course, and I couldn’t ... He couldn’t ...” I didn’t want to say it out loud; it felt like failure to me. My shortcomings as a wife, a woman.    
  
Again, he pulled that Jedi mind reading shit. “He never came? That’s not your fault, Bella, you know that right? I can see it all over your face, you feel like you failed him somehow.  You didn’t. You’ve got to see that.” His voice was so adamant that I actually began to feel it.  
  
“Part of me _knows_ that now, understands now why it happened, but it doesn’t take the sting away. It doesn’t change the fact that I was never what he wanted.” My chest was tight, and I could feel the sobs climbing up my throat and making it thick. I turned my face way from him.   
  
“Bella, look at me,” he said, his voice beseeching and gentle. Again, his fingertip ran a course from my elbow to my wrist, but this time he stopped at my wrist and wrapped his long fingers around it. Gingerly, he pulled my arm away from my bent leg, peeling away another layer.   
  
“Can’t,” I declared.  
  
“Why?”  
  
I began chewing on my fingertips. “Because I’m trying really hard not to cry right now, and I’m embarrassed, and just … annoyed with myself for being ….” I shoved my fingertip back in my mouth to shut me up.   
  
“For being emotional? So, annoyance and a little bit of embarrassment equals tears?” He gently swiped at the tears that had managed to tumble down my cheeks.  
  
“Yes. Any strong emotion usually leads to tears. Trust me, I wouldn’t be sitting here crying in front of you if I had any damn control over it.”  
  
He snorted, and my eyes shot to his face.  
  
“Are you _laughing_ at me, Cullen?” I was suddenly stricken with the violent urge to pinch the shit out of the underside of his arm. That soft, sensitive spot that your mother always went for when you were dicking around in public and where taking off her slipper to swat at you would have caused a scene. The spot that could bring a grown man to knees, because let’s be honest, it stung like hell.  
  
His hands flew up in a defensive posture and pulled back a little. “No, no, I’m sorry, Bella. You just ….” He looked as though he were struggling to explain. “You’re such an emotional person, and … I was thinking that you must cry a lot.”  
  
“And this brings a smile to your face?”  
  
“Err, I’m digging a pretty big fucking hole aren’t I?”  
  
“Yes.”   
  
He brought his hands down slowly and placed them in his lap. “Sorry, I’ve just never met anyone _quite_ as expressive as you. And admittedly, I’m kind of an ass. I’m sorry.”  
  
“Yes, you are and I’m glad I could entertain you.” I was well aware that my petulance was growing by the minute, but I couldn’t seem to help it.  
  
“You know, you’re incredibly cute when you’re annoyed. Lips are pouty, your arms are crossed over your chest. You really are fucking adorable. Beautiful.” He spoke the last word with hushed, reverent voice.  
  
I turned my face away from him again, and I tightened my grip on my rib cage. Those kelly green, dazzling eyes of his were trying to suck me in again, and god help me, I wanted it. I wanted to feel them pull me under and hold me down under their tide.  
  
“Look at me, Isabella.”  
  
“I can’t.”  
  
“Why?” He kept his voice low, but I could hear him compelling me, begging me to turn and face him.  
  
My breath came a little faster, and I could feel my body blush. “Because, Edward, it’s wrong. I can’t ... can’t ….” I stumbled over my words.  
  
“What can’t you do, Bella? What’s wrong?” His voice was a little louder now, not really annoyed, but tones of irritation were beginning to creep through.    
  
“I’m married, Edward,” I half shouted, still not looking at him.  
  
I heard his hand slap down on his leg, and my eyes shifted to his lap. He huffed. “You can’t _look_ at me because you’re married? Are you kidding me, Bella? Fucking look at me!” His demand and hard tone made my head jerk up. His jaw was set in an obstinate lock, teeth grinding against themselves. He looked a tad pissed.    
  
“Edward I—”  
  
He cut me off before I had the chance to rebuke his tone and explain myself. “Bella, goddamn it, you’re _separated_. Your marriage was a _lie_ , a farce. Never real. Why are you set on living as though it weren’t?” he asked.  
  
“Because it meant something to _me,_ bullshit or not. I married him because I _loved_ him. And here I am fantasizing about a man I’ve only just met, and I’ve barely felt an ounce of guilt over it, and I should. I should—” Once again my rant was cut short.  
  
 _That’s really starting to annoy the holy hell out of me._    
  
“Be happy.” His voice fell into the space between us. He sat staring at me, watching what I’m sure was a parade of emotions march across my face. He leaned in close, his fingers ran the length of my jaw and my body kicked up an impressive shiver. “Be happy, Bella. This shouldn’t be about the guilt. And I doubt he’d hold it against you. In fact, I’d venture a guess and say he’d want you to move forward, to put yourself back together. Just be happy, Bella. I’m sure that’s all he wants for you.”  He was close enough that I could taste the wine on his breath. It was bitter and sweet and warm as it snaked across my face.  
  
I tried to speak again, but my throat had closed over, tight with emotion and the build up of tears, again. Hot, salty tears rolled down my face, and my ears felt hot.    
  
“Shh, beautiful girl, please don’t cry.” His thumb worked to brush away the moisture, only to be undone by another wave.  
  
I closed my eyes and tried to rein in the fear, hurt, and guilt that pushed down on me. Did I want Edward?   _Yes,_ I ached for him. But I was so afraid to let go, to have him the way I wanted. What if I was too broken? What if I wasn’t enough for him? I couldn’t deal with the loss and rejection again. It would kill me.  
  
“You’re afraid I’ll hurt you like he did,  that you have nothing to offer me.”  
  
I opened my eyes. “How the in the sweet name of peanut butter do you _do_ that? How do you know what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling?” I gawked at him, waiting for an answer.  
  
“I can see it on your face, Bella. You’re like an open book. Like I said, you’re one of the most expressive people I’ve ever met.” He pressed the palm of his hand to my over heated cheek. “I saw that ambitious eye-fuck Thursday afternoon when we met and the dreamy, saucy look on your face in the car. I’m pretty sure you were thinking about me.”  
  
 _Cocky. Much._ I rolled my eyes in a feeble attempt to hide the embarrassment of being busted.  
  
“I saw all the lip biting and fidgeting with your hands at breakfast. I could _feel_ the tension there. I saw the way you were looking at me while we played pool. I saw how I was affecting you ... your breathing was shallow and your face was in a constant state of flush. And I know damn well that on more than one occasion you had to hold back the urge to push back against me. Believe me when I say, I _really_ wished you hadn’t.”  
  
I knew my entire body had taken on a fantastic shade of cherry red, yet I couldn’t seem to bring myself to care. There was nothing I could do about it anyway. Here was this man, this beautiful, deity-like creature sitting across from me openly admitting he’d fantasized about me, that he longed to have my body pressed against his, and all I could was stare at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I owe my pre-reader, StellaBlueBella, some serious love. Seattle had taken over the story and the 5 days they’d spent together turned into 10 chapters!!! Insane, I know. But she done snapped my ass into shape and reminded of the bigger picture. So, Stella baby, thank you!
> 
> Also, I’ve recently packed my youtube channel with the songs/pop culture stuff that’s been referenced in this story so far. So, if you’d like to find any of the those things, here ya go: http://www.youtube.com/user/JenniesAToolFan?feature=mhee


	12. Seattle Play by Play Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing but an outrageous urge to dance around to Footloose for some reason (Don’t do drugs kids, it’s bad for you). No copyright infringement is intended, okay.*
> 
> Thanks oodles to everyone who continues to read and review, and the amazing women that work with me to turn this shit into something you might enjoy reading. I’d be more than glad to offer each one of you hot, sloppy kisses.

**Chapter 12**

**_~~^~~_ **

**Seattle Play by Play**

**Part 2**

  
**_Sunday:_** **Out and about in Seattle**  
 ***This Town** by **O.A.R & Sway** by **Bic Runga***  
  
 **BPOV**  
 _And there’s feet, off the ground, out in  front of me._ “Ugh, ow,” I moaned as my ass finally landed on the hard concrete. The hard, _wet_ concrete. _Of course, I landed in a puddle. Of. Course._  
  
Edward’s hand reached out to pick me up off the ground, yet again. The hyenas behind him kept right on chuckling while I rubbed my sore, very cold, wet ass.   
  
“Oh my goodness, Bella…your feet…they just…it was like… and then …your bums wet… Fucking priceless,” Alice panted as she held onto her sides, obviously much more worried about her side splitting then my bruised ego and broken tail bone.   
  
“Stick around, Alice, she does this kind of shit all the time,” Emmett advised her.   
  
I groaned and stuck out my tongue.  
  
Edward chuckled and leaning down to meet my ear, he asked, “Are you okay?”   
  
My body shuddered and shivered when his hot breath fanned across my ear and neck. I felt my body sing out. “Yeah, no worries... I’m good,” I muttered. “A little wet, though.”  
  
Yes, the double-entendre was completely intentional. A _nd holy Hanna, that was totally flirty. Go flirty, Bella!_  
  
Edward’s mouth pulled up in sexy grin that did nothing to help my situation whatsoever.   
  
“Okay, Alice, when you’re finished with your laughing fit, if you could direct my soggy ass to the nearest clothing store, I’d appreciate it.”   
  
Alice jumped at the chance to shop, and since a dry pair of jeans seemed be in order, I had little objection to it. After finding a decent pair of jeans and a tee-shirt I thought was too great to pass up, I changed, tossed my wet clothes in a plastic bag and left them in the trunk. The plan was to hit the pier before going out to dinner at a local pub that Jasper loved.   
  


**_~~^~~_ **

**RPOV**  
“Drink with me, Rosie,” Bella said, her arm locked into mine as we entered the bar and grill. The atmosphere was easy, casual, and loud. We only waited a moment or two before being ushered to a wrap-around booth big enough to house all six of us. The Pixie barely counted though. She was so fucking tiny I’m sure we could have slipped her into one of those kiddie seats, and she would have been quite comfortable.  
  
“What, feel like getting trashed tonight, Bella Bear?”  
              
She leaned into me and whispered, “Consider it part of my therapy.” She winked and was quick to order herself a Smirnoff Ice when the waitress— an annoyingly perky, young college girl— came around to ask about our drink orders. We’d decided on the way there that the menu plan for the night was pretty much just going to be a slew of appetizers, each of us choosing two from the menu. Apparently, this place had some damned good tapas.     
              
The loud music and casual environment made the conversation and the booze flow easily. I watched as Edward ran a hand under the table and caressed Bella’s thigh. She melted into his side with a sigh. She looked happy to be sitting there, and she seemed more relaxed then she’d been in a very long time. I guess I hadn’t noticed, or it had just become so fucking common place that I no longer registered it. But seeing the difference between the tense, tight shouldered Bella I’d seen pretty much day in and day out for years now, and newly improved Bella, was shocking. The two barely resembled one another. Of course, it could just be the second bottle of Smirnoff Ice working its magic on her. But I thought I saw a change, a calm about her that wasn’t there before now.  I totally blamed Edward and whatever crazy ass voodoo, sex-magic he had going on. Whatever the fuck it was, it was working, and I was more than pleased about that.  
              
“...No, no. Emmett, if you’re going to tell the story, tell it right, damn it.” I heard Bella say. I guess I’d been kind of distracted and totally fucking missed the precursor to that comment.    
              
“Huh, what story?” I asked.  
              
“Painting the basement,” Bella offered with a huge, smug ass grin on her face. I knew exactly what she was talking about.  
              
“You fucking telling lies again, McCarty?” I playfully snapped at my husband, wagging my finger at him.  
              
“Screw you, woman. _My_ version of the events happens to be the _right one_ , thank you very much.” He almost pouted, and it was annoying and adorable all at the same time.  
              
“Right, you keep on telling yourself that, Emmy-Lou. Meanwhile, I’ll just go ahead and clear up any fucking confusion ya’ll have been harbouring. Emmett and I had just moved into the house, and we wanted to put our mark on it, make it our own, so we had a little painting party. Bella and Mike came, and Emmett’s parents.  Emmett and I decided we’d start in the bedroom, Bella was in the main floor bathroom tearing down the fuck-ugliest wallpaper I’ve _ever_ seen, Mike was holed up in the kitchen, and Em’s parents were in the living room,” I explained, setting the stage.  
              
“Anyway, after dinner we decided that three of us would tackle the basement, and the other three would finish up with the en suite, the guestroom, and the hallway. Bella and I set up stations at either end of the basement and Emmett was set up by that alcove, by the stairs. We were all chatting and singing along to the radio Em had brought down. All of a sudden this loud, blood-curdling scream rings through the basement. I fully expected to see Em with a fucking hatchet in his back and some big, bad Jason Voorhees, looking motherfucker looming over him. But no, instead my big, burly man of a husband was skirting across the floor backward, desperately trying to escape something.” I chuckled at the memory.  
              
“This is so _not_ how it went down,” Em grumbled at my side, hanging his head.  
              
I ignored his statement and kept right on telling the story. “Bella and I ran over to see what had happened and found the thing that made my husband screech like a little pussy. No man eating alligator, no 80’s serial killer. No.” I shook my head and paused to give my husband a pitiful look. “It was a _spider_ …that _Bella_ promptly killed.”  
              
Everyone roared with laughter, except Emmett, who maintained that it was Bella that screeched and screamed, and he, who had rescued her from the eight legged foe.    
              
“Fuck you all, that spider was _huge!_ ” Emmett complained, his face all screwed up and pouty as shit. It really didn’t help his cause; his actions just resulted in further prodding and laughing.  
  


**_~~^~~_ **

**BPOV**  
“That’s two drinks now,” I whispered to Edward, taking advantage of the proximity to inhale a good, deep breath of his arousal inducing scent. “One more and she’ll be cupping his junk, _guaranteed,”_ I said, nodding toward Rose and Emmett.  
              
“What about you, are you okay? Your cheeks are all pink,” Edward asked, his fingers slowly walking up my arm.  
              
“Yeah, I’m good. You may need to carry my ass to bed, but I’m far from smashed,” I clarified.  
  
 _Flirty Bella’s fun. I like her. I think I’ll keep her._  
              
“I think I can handle that,” he purred into my ear.   
  
_I think_ he _likes Flirty Bella too. Flirty Bella has a fan club ...Wait ...third person inner monologue?_  
              
He really needed to stop that purring thing. He had no idea how dangerously close I was to jumping on his lap and begging him to take me. Public place be damned. I felt my face flush, and my thighs squeezed together.  
  
He’d either anticipated my thoughts, or caught the small movement of my upper legs. Placing one hand just above my knee, he squeezed. “I’ll behave if you do.”  
  
I contorted my face a little and grudgingly removed my hand from his upper thigh. _Damn it Janet, no fair._  
  
I pouted, and he chuckled. But I knew it was for the greater good. I knew Jazz was picking up on my randy little vibes because for the better half of the last hour he hadn’t been able to keep his hands of Alice.  
  
“What’s your maiden name?” Edward asked out of the blue, leaning against my shoulder a little.   
  
“Swan, why?” I asked, breathing him in again.  
  
“Just curious.” He smiled his kegel inducing smile, and I may or may not have purred.   
  
Another hour or so of good conversation, one shot, and another bottle of Ice for Rose and I each, and we were on our way home. Predictably, Rose and Emmett were huddled in the back seat sucking face as Edward drove.  
  


**~~^~~**

  
Lost in my memories of the day, I traipsed into my room, closed the door and replayed the soft, sweet kiss that Edward had planted on my lips hours before. The sun was working its way down, and the result was a cotton candy stripped sky, tones of pink, orange, and light yellows creeping over us. The other two couples had walked ahead of us on the pier while Edward and I continued to chat. At some point, my hand found its way into his, and the feel of his soft grip made me smile. We looked out across the water, ripples of gold and deep blue stretched out in front of us, making the surface of the water glitter.  
  
Two warm fingers found the underside of my chin, tilted it upward and then skimmed down the side of my neck as his lips found mine. It wasn’t a deep kiss. It was just enough to allow me to taste the mint, chocolate and cinnamon of Edward. It was gentle and sweet.  
  
It left me wanting more.  
  
I stripped down, brushed my hair out and then put my pajamas on. I crawled under the covers and tried to get comfortable. I tossed and turned ...and then tossed a little more. If I didn’t think I’d wake anyone, I would have jumped in the shower. I needed to cool the hell off. Edward had me all hot and bothered, and now all I could do was roll around in bed and watch the minutes tick by on the clock. 2:51 AM, fantastic!  
  
Where that kiss had ended, my brain took over and _good lord_ was it in prime form. I couldn’t stop thinking about his hands on me, his lips.  
  
I looked up at the ceiling above me and sighed.  
  
Thoughts of empty touches flooded my mind, fingers that never set my skin ablaze, not the way Edward had. Chaste kisses, silent lovemaking that was cold and always left me wanting. Hands that never begged to worship my curves the way Edward’s begged. I felt it in every casual touch, his hand on my lower back as he led me into a room, delicate fingertips that would run the length of my arm as he walked past me.  
  
He wanted me.  
  
 _And you’re laying in bed thinking about Mike, why? Oh right, because you loved him_ and _because you just met Edward_ Thursday _. Most whores don’t move that fast. Christ, Bella!_  
  
I rolled onto my side, annoyed with myself and my selfish need for Edward, annoyed that that very need was the cause of my guilt. Tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes, yet again, and I cursed my overly emotional, stupid, _girl_ reaction.  
  
“Aw to hell with this, and to _hell with you Michael_!” I spat as I sat up and flung the covers off my body.  
  


**_~~^~~_ **

**EPOV**  
I rolled over in bed, shaking my head. _She’s going to be the death of you._  
  
My whole body ached for her, but I understood that she needed time to work her head around how she felt, and I _knew_ she felt something for me. It was written on her face, and it was certainly there in the breathy gasps every time I touched her. I’d begun to understand what it was that Tanya was asking of me, to see her clearly. Bella was beautiful and amazing, and there was more than a small part of me that needed her, that wanted her.  
  
“… _Wait for her, Edward…_ ” the sweet, incorporeal voice said.  
  
“I will.”  
  
“… _She needs you to open her eyes. Help her to see, Edward_...”  
  
I nodded in silent agreement. Bella needed me, and I would help her see the wonderful woman she truly was, help to rebuild her piece by piece. Even if it took forever.  
  
“... _Do you recognize her yet?..._ ”  
  
The cryptic ghost shit was getting on my nerves. “Recognize her as _what_?”  
  
No answer. _Of course._  
  
I rolled onto my stomach and groaned into my pillow. Sleep was starting to look like a lost cause.  
  
I turned my head when I heard my door slowly creaking open. I almost spoke aloud, but kept my mouth shut. When the door clicked shut, I stared into the darkness, a dark shape stood in front of the door. _Tanya?_  
  


**_~~^~~_ **

**BPOV**  
“Edward?” I softly called out into the dark, hoping he was still awake. A few beats skipped by as I stood there, fiddling with the hem of my sleep shirt. A bizarre mix of relief and disappointment began to wash over me.  
  
“Ah, Bella?” Edward answered. Suddenly my heart was thumping so loud, I was sure he could hear it.  
  
“Did I wake you?”  
  
“No. And not that I mind, but why are you in my room?”  
  
I crept forward and stood next to his bed, looking down at his form in the darkness. The moon had been half in shadow, causing strange patterns to flick and flutter across him as the clouds moved above.“I told Mike to go to hell.”  
  
He sat up and flipped the bedside light on. Our eyes blinked against the onslaught of light.  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“I told him to go to hell,” I said, my hands flying away from my side and back again with a soft slap. “I don’t want the guilt and don’t want to remember the hollow, meaningless touches. I might very well regret this, but I’ve never done anything so selfish before, and _damn it,_ I want to be selfish! Just once in my life, I don’t _want_ to think about the fallout and just _do_ and _have_ what I want.”  
  
“And you want me?” he asked, a sly half-smile plastered on his gorgeous face.  
  
“Wipe that goddamn grin off your face and scoot over,” I demanded.   
  
My own mischievous smile bloomed, right along with a hot blush that warmed my face.  
  
I climbed in next to him, and he immediately pulled me against his chest. _His very bare chest._ My hands were trapped between us, and I could feel the hard muscle and soft skin beneath my fingertips.  
  
He kissed the top of my head with a soft chuckle. “I make you nervous.”  
  
I looked up into his eyes. “What did I say about the shit-eating grin, Edward? Keep it up, _bud_ , and I’ll walk right back out.”  
  
He laughed again, and I rolled my eyes.  
  
 _Yes, yes, it’s all quite amusing._  
  
“Bella, shut up and kiss me.”  
  
I was about to tell him that I didn’t appreciate his demanding tone, but my lips were suddenly very busy. It didn’t take long for our kisses to become heated and wanting, and I struggled to remember the last time I’d felt so good, so unbelievably alive.  
  
His hand crept under the hem of my shirt and slowly crawled up my torso to my right breast. I’m sure I moaned; I just couldn’t hear it over the thundering beat of my heart. I could feel my pulse in my ears, which is a strange thing to say, but it was true.  
  
He ducked down and began pulling my shirt up inch by inch, kissing and licking the exposed skin.   
  
I was suddenly very aware that I would be exposed in front of a man. _In front of Edward_. I pushed the hem of my shirt back down. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought about this before sneaking out of my room five minutes ago.   
  
“What’s wrong? Are you not sure about this? It’s okay, Bella … we can just lay here if that’s what you want.”  
  
I sighed and fought the misery building in the pit of my stomach. “No, I do want this, but ….” I looked away from his eyes. “I can’t …I haven’t been able to ….” I could feel a furious blush riding the surface of my skin.   
  
I sucked in a deep breath and brought my eyes back to him. _He deserves to hear this from you, you’re safe here,_ I encouraged myself.   
  
“Its been a very long time since I’ve been able to orgasm. I couldn’t draw pleasure from Michael because I felt like I was _wrong_ somehow. Not being able to please him …it made me feel… defective. I don’t work right anymore, Edward. I can’t even bring myself to a climax anymore. It’s like my body _forgot_ how.”   
  
His face looked as if it were twisted in pain, and I didn’t like that look on him; it screwed up his perfect features.   
  
“I was never enough for him. What if…what if—”  
  
“What if you’re not enough for me?” he asked, laying on his side, his head propped up on his hand.  
  
“Yes,” I whispered, closing my eyes.  
  
“Bella, you’re perfect. You feel so good against me.” He pulled me closer to him. The heat from his body was soothing and inviting. His hand pushed under my top and stilled on my tummy, resting in the harbour between my hips.   
  
“I want your skin against mine,” he murmured in my ear. He looked to me for permission before ghosting his hand upward, exposing me slowly. He dipped his head and kissed the new skin, moving in a lazy line up my stomach, stopping just below my breasts, again. He looked to me for permission to continue.  
  
I nodded, biting my lip.   
  
Finally, he grew weary with the t-shirt and peeled it off, tossing it somewhere in the room. He trailed soft, sweet kisses all over me, paying particular attention to my chest. More than once, I heard him mumble little words like prayers. “ _Beautiful …so soft…Bella._ ”  
  
“You fit perfectly in my hands.” He punctuated that point by giving a gentle squeeze to each of my breasts.   
  
He rolled us, so that he was hovering over me, and I shifted to bring him closer. With him cradled between my thighs, I smiled to myself at the feeling. He was hard and long, and those sleep pants weren’t hiding a damned thing.  
  
“You’re so fucking _beautiful_ , Bella. So soft and supple and just ...your body is a goddamned master piece.”   
  
I inhaled a shaky, rough breath.  
  
“Your body molds with mine _perfectly_ ,” he said in a hushed voice. He ran his tongue from my sternum to the base of my throat, and the groan that left my mouth was almost feral.   
  
“Your pale skin is flawless, and those freckles look fucking edible. Never doubt that your utterly perfect, Isabella Swan.”  
  
Hearing my maiden name roll off his tongue made my heart clench and beat faster. I wanted him to make love to me, to take me and claim me as his, but not in Jasper’s guestroom. I wanted every memory of Michael washed and caressed away from my body until there was nothing left but Edward.   
  
I reached over to turn off the light, and his hand stopped me. “Leave it. I want to see you, Bella.”  
  
I turned into a pile of goo right there. _He wanted to_ see _me. He didn’t want my body hidden by shadows and sheets._ I groaned at the thought and bit my lip.  
  
“That lip biting drives me absolutely stupid,” he said before he sucked my bottom lip between his. When he bit down, the sensation was so intense my body reacted before I gave it permission to, and my hips pushed forward.  His hands moved to my hair and mine to his, and our tongues danced and moved together. Our hips seemed to find a similar cadence, every push, every thrust driving me a little closer.  
  
Edward’s hand slipped down my body, and I felt him tug at my shorts.  
  
I stilled his hand. “No, not yet. But, please don’t stop.” My body felt hot and tight, and a bubble of pure pleasure began to form in my belly.  
  
He softly kissed my mouth and tickled his way back up my body. “Whatever you need, Bella,” he whispered.  His thumb moved across my lips, down my jaw and lingered a little before dipping between my breasts. He groped, pet, kissed, and sucked, and I got completely lost in the feeling of it. Our hips pushed and bucked against each other.  
  
“Shh, Bella, you’re going to wake everyone up.” He laughed quietly and put his hand over my mouth. A big wide grin spread over his face.  
  
Replacing his hand with his mouth, a deep moan escaped me and was swallowed by his hot breath. My hand grazed his back. I pulled him closer by his shoulders. My fingers dug into him, and he groaned.  
  
He reached down and pulled my knee up so that one foot lay flat on the mattress and other leg was still stretched out the side. The shift in position brought him closer to me, and when he slid his body against mine again, I lost control.  
  
“Oh my God, shit. Edward, I … Oh fuck … Don’t stop. Please,” I ranted, feeling almost dizzy as I bit and sucked on his lips, his tongue.  
  
“Do you want to come, Bella?” he asked breathlessly.  
  
“Yesss,” I hissed, clinging to his shoulders, using them as leverage. I wrapped my legs around him tightly and brought my hips up. Panting. Begging.  
  
He kissed me with a passion and fever that was tangible. I wanted to swallow him or crawl inside him and stay there, happy, safe, and feeling completely worshipped. Grinding hard, he nibbled at the swell of my breasts, alternating sides. The sensation of his teeth on my skin made my muscles clench. I closed my eyes and tried to hold on to that feeling.  
  
He licked the shell of my ear, and goose bumps bloomed all over my body. “Bella, come for me,” he whispered into my ear. His voice was low, husky and so full of want it was nearly crushing. “Just _for me_.”  
  
“Edward I—” His mouth was on me and doing things that I’m sure were illegal in several parts of the country.  
  
Soon, that bubble began to tremble inside me. I did something I only ever did with Jake, and only when I was seriously horny. It had become a cue to him. He knew what I’d needed, and he was always quick to react.  
  
I took one of Edward’s hands, folded back all but one finger and slowly drew it into my mouth, sucking and licking. I felt powerful and smug when he grunted and pushed against me with real force.  
  
“Holy fuck, Bella,” he moaned as I continued to mouth his finger. I was happy when he clued in that I needed more from him. Or, maybe it was that _he_ needed more from me. That thought was intoxicating. His hand quickly raced down my centre. “These shorts are a mess, Bella.” He hissed as he felt the dampness. I popped his finger out of my mouth and pulled his face closer by the nape of his neck.  
  
“Mmhm,” I hummed around his mouth. I felt him chuckled.  
  
Pressing his fingers against me, against the fabric of my cotton shorts, he ran them up and down. That bubble tightened into a ball, jangling and trembling deep in my belly.  
  
“Oh God, Edward, I’m close. Please, please.” My voice was tortured and pained as I worked my hips against him. I slammed my eyes shut and pictured my climax, pictured my release and Edward’s breathtaking smile.    
  
“I want to feel your body shudder beneath me. Fuck, you’re so gorgeous.”  
  
He pushed his palm harder against me. My hips rose up, riding back and forth on his hand, loving the friction. “Fuck that’s good, please I need … oh God, Edward, I need ….” _More_. But the word refused to leave my mouth.    
  
Understanding, he mimicked my earlier action and took my finger into his mouth. Biting down carefully and sucking while he ground himself into my pelvis. That was it. That was all I needed before I went screaming headlong into a powerful orgasm. My body clenched and jerked, and the waves of hot pleasure that rolled in me were the most blissful feelings I’d ever experienced.  
  
“Ohhh, ohhh, oh shit. My God …,” I moaned and shuddered.    
  
Seconds later, Edward soared off the edge and came, and the smile on his face broke my heart. I wanted to see that smile again as often as possible.  
  


**~~^~~**

**RPOV**  
 _“Fuck that’s good, please I need … oh God, Edward, I need….”_ My eyes widened, and I shot a look at Emmett, who must have heard the same thing I did because he was suddenly standing stalk still in the middle of the hallway.  
  
 _“Ohhh, ohhh, oh shit. My God….”_  
  
“Oh my shit, Bella and Eddie boy are getting it on,” Emmett whispered, stepping away from the door and heading toward the stairs.   
  
I very quietly clapped my hands and bounced on the balls of my feet. “Good, ‘bout damn time someone fucked her proper.”    
  
“Bella Bear’s a _flove_ bunny now … I’m _so_ teasing her in the morning. I can tease her right, Rosie?” He looked so hopeful; I couldn’t deny him. We traipsed down the stairs and headed into the kitchen for a midnight/post-sex snack.  
  
“Yes, relentlessly if you feel the need. But, baby, keep in mind she has a tendency to give as good as she gets,” I said, grabbing an apple from the fruit basket and heading back to the bedroom.    
  
“Sure sounded that way,” Emmett murmured as he snagged an apple and a banana for himself.    
  


~~^~~

 ** _Monday: Jasper’s_**  
 ** _*In a Red Dress and Alone_** by **Evans Blue***  
  
 **EPOV**  
I woke up to the sound of a gentle weeping and an empty bed.  
  
 _Huh?_  
  
Quickly, I oriented myself and remembered that Bella had crawled into bed with me last night. The weeping sounds were coming from Bella. I saw the top of her mahogany head at the side of the bed. I crawled to the side of the bed to see Bella leaning against it, legs tucked up under her arms and her face stained with tears. I sunk to the floor next to her.  
  
“Bella, why are you crying?” I asked, prying loose one of her hands and folding it into mine.  
  
              
“What the fuck is _wrong_ with me? I just met you, and I… we… You must think I’m some desperate slut. I didn’t mean to get so carried away last night, but I… ” Her voice got lost in a sob.  
  
I scratched my head, a little confused, but mostly upset. “Bella, if I _ever_ hear you refer to yourself in that way again…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I was too busy grinding my teeth together.  
  
After taking a deep breath, I turned my head to face her. She wouldn’t look at me, so I placed two fingers under her chin and gently pulled her face around to meet mine.   
  
“Never again, Bella. Even if we’d fucked in _every_ imaginable position last night, let the neighbours watch, _and_ thrown Alice into the mix, there is still no chance of _you_ being a slut. Last night felt good, right, and it was something we both needed and both wanted. Needing something doesn’t make you desperate. It makes you _honest_. You said yourself that you were done with the guilt. You told him to go to hell, and then you crawled into my bed and made me feel whole again.” I wiped the drying tears away and kissed her temple. Even wracked with guilt, she looked nothing short of angelic.  
  
 _I’m in so much trouble._  
              
A slow, weak smile grew as she processed what I’d said. “I’m sorry I woke you. I’m sorry I’m an emotional midget. I swear I wasn’t always like this. I _promise_ I’m trying not to be, but this is a big, mother suckin’, deep ass hole I’ve been thrown into. So it might take me a while to climb out.” She shook her head, compunction flooded her face.  
              
“Bella, you don’t regret last night, do you? Because I _sure as hell don’t_.”  
              
“No, I don’t. What I regret is that _this_ is how you met me, all damaged and messed up and stuck in my own head. I feel like I’m locked in there sometimes, lost in memories and thoughts … and sometimes I can’t deal, and shit like this happens. So, I’m sorry you met me _like this_. You should look for someone with a little less baggage. Seriously.”     
              
“I understand it better than you think, Bella. Before Tanya passed away, she grew weak and was unable to communicate. I spent a lot of time reliving memories of her, desperately trying to remember who she was, not what the disease had made her. It took everything I knew and loved about her from me. It sucked the life right out of her. So, I clung to the past to keep her alive. When she died, it was all I had left, and some days I didn’t deal so well either. Grief is a bitch.”  
  
I watched her for a moment, watched the uncertainty flicker across her face, pushing up lines where none had been before.  
  
“Bella, I’ve yet to sit at a table with a group of people that didn’t have some sort of baggage. Some are small and easy to hide. Others are big, bulky, and more than they can handle. I think you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. Most people would have crumbled under the weight, but you keep moving. That’s pretty fucking impressive, Bella.”  
  
She looked lost in thought for a moment. “Maybe if I tell him, if I say it out loud to him, and tell him I _need_ to cut him loose from what we were…maybe that will get rid of that feeling in me. _I know_ I don’t owe him anything. Not after that. But…I feel like he needs to know that I can’t keep him with me. As harsh as it is, I don’t think I can allow him to be a part of my life. I wanted to…I wanted a friendship because I thought that was the right thing to do. But, if I don’t work hard to push past him, it’ll fucking consume me, Edward.”  
  
“Do what _you need_ to. If severing all ties with him and your past is what’s going to work for you, then do that. If you think it’ll shift some of that weight off you, then do it.”  
  
She pushed her fingers to her lips for a quick second. “Edward, I …I don’t think anything like last night can happen again until I’ve had the chance to speak to him, to tell him.”  
  
“It won’t kill me. And stop looking at me like you’ve done something wrong. It’s fine.”  
  
“I feel like such a nut-job, Edward. Like _Girl, Interrupted_ kind of nuts. Everything is so… scattered.”  
              
“Are we talkin’ Winona nutty or Angelina nutty, because Angelina was in a whole different league of crazy.”  
  
She snorted in a very unladylike way and batted at my arm. _So completely adorable._  
  
“It’s normal, Bella, expected, and I don’t mind having a nutcase for a girlfriend.” I smiled down at her.  
              
Her eyes widened, and her head cocked. “Is that what I am?”  
              
“Well, I don’t dry hump just _anyone_ ,” I joked.  
              
“Good to know,” Bella said, flashing me a beautiful smile.  
              
Rising to my feet, I offered my hand to her. “Now, it’s only seven AM, woman. You’ve got two options, get your perfect ass back to bed, or take your butt on out of here and let me go back to sleep. I’m partial to option one myself.”  
              
She took my hand and let me help her off the floor. “Mmm, well, option one sounds good to me, too.”  
              
We tucked ourselves back under the covers, her backside cuddled up to me, fitting perfectly in the curve of my body. She shifted as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. I felt myself growing hard, again.  
  
 _Perfect, she decrees no sex until she’s spoken to her ex, and I can’t keep my penis under control._  
              
“Sorry,” she whispered and pulled herself forward to create a little distance between our bodies.  
              
I pulled her back, squeezing her tight to my chest. “It’s fine, Bella. Just try not wiggle around too much.”  
              
“Fair enough, but you need to stop drawing circles on my tummy like that. Won’t help with the wiggling.”  
              
I hadn’t even realized I was doing it, but sure enough, my fingertips were working small circles around her bellybutton. I ceased my movements immediately. “Better?”  
              
“Debatable,” she conceded, and I knew exactly how she felt.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you enjoyed the read and perhaps the little lemon drop. Drop me a line, let me know what you’re thinking. I love hearing from you.
> 
> That little “Damn it Janet” thing is a little shout out to The Rocky Horror Picture Show, BTW. And yes, you can find a clip on my youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/JenniesAToolFan?feature=mhee
> 
> We’ll be heading back to Forks/Port Angeles in the next chapter, so I hope you enjoyed your time in Seattle.   
> ~MissJanuary


	13. Past Nevers, Future Firsts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.*

**Chapter 13**

**~~^~~**

**Past Nevers, Future Firsts**

**EPOV**  
  
I woke up with an angel tucked in my arms. She was all warm breath and soft skin, and she felt so perfect in my arms. I was tempted to stay right where I was, but my damn bladder had other plans. Ever so carefully, I tried to wiggle myself free from her body, trying like hell not to wake her.   
              
“Mmm, not yet,” Bella said in a groggy voice. Her eyes fluttered and she flexed her hand against my chest.   
              
“Sorry, lovely. I didn’t mean to wake you,” I whispered, kissing the crown of her head.   
              
“You didn’t, the leftover booze pooling in my bladder did.”  
              
I laughed and offered her the use of the bathroom first.   
  
I lay there wondering what things would look like when we got home. Work schedules and life itself would no doubt change the gentle rhythm of our fledgling relationship. I’d spent the last four days with her, pretty much without interruption. What would it feel like to maybe go days on end without seeing her? I was man enough to admit that I wasn’t too fucking pleased with that particular prospect.   
  
Even in the very short time I’d spent with her here, I’d grown attached, and if I was honest with myself, utterly addicted. She felt like need _and_ want all wrapped up in one very beautiful, if slightly bruised, package. I’d never been so immediately and so completely drawn to someone before.  Not even with Tanya. We’d grown up together, and as a child, I’d found her a little galling and hated that she always sought me out when her family came to visit. She had sisters close in age, why couldn’t she just bother them and leave me to my G.I. Joes.   
  
As teenagers though, I was quick to dismiss her behaviours. I knew things between us were changing. I started looking forward to seeing her when we’d head to Alaska for a month in the summer. I found myself waiting on her emails and phone calls.   
  
The summer I’d turned sixteen was the summer everything changed for Tanya and me. We’d gone to the movies with her two sisters, Irina and Kate. A horror movie was playing, _The Blair Witch Project_ , and Tanya sat next to me. Every time something spooked her, she dug her tiny fingers into my thigh. I’d have been inclined to be a bit annoyed by that, if I weren’t so hard. Every time she flexed her fingers and dug in, my dick twitched.   
  
Later that evening, we sat in the mudroom at the back of the house and watched the rain fall. We were silent and there was a distinct shift in the atmosphere surrounding us. I wanted to kiss her and wanted to know how her lips would feel against mine. I’d kissed other girls before, but none I’d been such close friends with beforehand. I was a little hesitant and unsure of how to proceed. Tanya, on the other hand, was as forward as ever. She’d leaned in, looked me in the eyes and announced her intention seconds before following through. She initiated the kiss, and I had to stop it. I sure as hell didn’t _want_ to stop it, but I could hear one of her sneaky sisters creeping around in the house behind us.   
  
Tanya and I lost our virginity that summer. It was short and fairly unremarkable, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. We tried the whole long distance thing for a short time— something that even the most committed adults find difficult. As teenagers we had no idea how to be a couple, let alone a long distance couple. So, we resigned ourselves to the fact that what had happened between us during that summer was special and wonderful, but not meant to be. Neither of us harboured any anger over the situation. It was what it was. And so we went back to being friends, friends that occasionally flirted with each other via inappropriate emails. I was forever glad my parents were never the snooping kind. I would have been shipped off to a boarding school in no time flat had they ever read some of those emails.

 

We saw other people; I dated, she dated, and we were fine with that. But when she told me she’d been accepted to Washington State University, I’d never been so happy in my life. She’d only be five and a half hours away from me at the University of Washington in Seattle.  We spent weekends together when we could; we both had pretty intense workloads at school. It wasn’t long before I knew I wanted her to be mine forever, to be my wife. During my last year in medical school, I’d asked her to marry me.   
  
I had no idea how short our forever would truly be.   
  
Bella came back into the room, and again I was floored by how much I wanted her, needed her. Guilt swept over me, and I knew she saw it because her face dropped.  
  
“What’s the matter?” she asked as she climbed back onto the bed with me.   
  
“I was thinking about Tanya,” I said, not being able to really look at her now.  
  
“What about Tanya?” Her words were soft, and not at all tainted with suspicion or jealousy.   
  
“I was thinking that maybe I didn’t love her the way I should have.”   
  
“Why would you say that?”   
  
I had to sort out my muddled thoughts before answering her honestly. “I know I loved her. I’m not questioning that. I wouldn’t have asked her to be my wife if I hadn’t. But meeting you has me questioning things … I guess.”  
  
“Me? I’m not really picking up what you’re putting down here, Edward.” She looked confused, but open to listening.   
  
“We grew into love, not fell into it. It took eighteen, nearly nineteen years for that to fully bloom between us. There was nothing immediate and electric about it; it was easy and comfortable and secure. But you, you I’m completely overwhelmed by. I’ve never been so wholly attracted to another person before. I’ve _never_ felt so much need and want, not for Tanya, not like _this_.”   
  
“Edward, you say that like you’re confessing to some criminal act. I know you loved Tanya. It’s evident in the way you say her name. And I understand what you’re trying to say. I never believed in love at first sight. I used to think the notation was something Hollywood conjured up. I thought it was all lust and simple attraction at work, nothing deep and meaningful, just superficial goat crap,” she explained, brushing the hair away from her face.   
  
_Goat crap? I think she used chocolate as an expletive yesterday … This is a step up. I think._   
  
“Mike and I used to get into arguments about it. He thought I was being cynical, I, of course, thought he was being a little _too_ idealistic. I think I was wrong.” Her head tilted up to look at me, and her big, brown eyes were full of honesty. She felt the same way; she felt that consuming need and desire.   
  
I smiled and kissed her head. Perhaps that was exactly what had happened here. Love at first sight.   
  
“So, much of what I’d believed to be true has been proven otherwise lately, and not all of it has been negative,” she said, winking up at me. “Didn’t you have to pee?” she reminded me.   
  
“Yes, but apparently being lost in thought can effectively divert your body’s physical needs.” I kissed the centre of her forehead and silently thanked her for putting my guilt in its place. I rolled over her, playfully mussing her hair before I left the bed and then headed for the bathroom.   
  


**~~^~~**

**BPOV**  
Edward was content to drift back to sleep for a little while. I, on the other hand, was wide awake and apparently excess energy leads to baking at nine-thirty in the morning. I’d wiggled free from Edward’s warm embrace early this morning, feeling more than a little energized, and bounced down the stairs.   
  
At first I sat alone at the kitchen table reading reviews from my newest fan-fiction, _Confessions of a Golden Eyed Deity,_ and responded to most of them, but sitting still was wearing on me. I swiftly launched myself from the stool I was perched on and began to pull open the cupboards looking for ingredients to make something, anything. Soon enough, I’d scrounged up what I’d needed to make brownies, which was kind of perfect because I was totally craving chocolate right now. _Among other things._   
  
It wasn’t long before the bell tone voice of my newest friend blew into the room, Jasper right on her heels.    
  
“Morning, Bells,” she chimed.  
  
“Morning guys, sleep well?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow at the two, smirking.  
  
“Slept like a baby,” Jasper drawled, curling his arms around Alice’s petite frame.  
  
“I bet,” I muttered, pouring the sugar into the mixing bowl.  
  
“Looks like you slept pretty well yourself,” Alice whispered, briefly touching the mark Edward had left on me at some point last night.  
  
I blushed hard, but said nothing.  
  
Jasper put the coffee on to brew and took up a seat on the stool I’d been sitting on. Watching me, he asked, “Whatcha making?”     
  
“Brownies, I had a major craving for chocolate this morning, so ... brownies.” I gestured to the ingredients laid out on the countertop.    
  
“Mmm, I love brownies,” Alice purred. “Can I help?”  
  
“Sure, grab the margarine and grease the baking tray for me.” I nodded toward the tray I’d found and plopped down on the stove.  
  
Alice went to work on the tray, while I blended the margarine and sugar in the bowl.    
  
“I thought I heard voices down here,” Edward said.  
  
I turned away from the counter to see him standing at the edge of the kitchen, pulling an old grey t-shirt over his head. Heat flooded my body and my thighs squeezed together automatically.  
  
“Sorry, we didn’t wake you did we?” I asked, turning back to the task at hand.  
  
“No, not at all,” he said, snaking his muscular arms around my middle.  
  
I heard a giggle to my left and saw the bright-faced pixie eyeing us. I shook my head, feeling like some silly schoolgirl.  I looked over to Jasper. He said nothing, just gave me a knowing smile and a playful wink. Feeling Edward’s silent laugh, I looked up to his smiling face. “What?”    
  
“Pixie Dust looks like she’s going to combust. Go ahead, say what you need to, Alice,” Edward said as he pulled me tighter against his chest.  
  
Alice didn’t waste any time and broke out in what could only be described as a happy dance. “I knew it. I knew it,” she chanted, fists pumping in the air.    
  
I laughed and went back to work. Edward sat down next to Jasper, while my apprentice whipped the mixture. I turned the oven to preheat and then went about sifting the flour before adding it and the walnuts to the mix that Alice was happily stirring.    
  
“There!” Alice exclaimed, stepping away from the counter.  
  
I took the chocolate covered spoon out of the bowl and licked it. “Mmm, Alice, taste this. I think it needs something.” I swiped my finger across the inside of the mixing bowl and held out my finger. Alice danced over and popped my finger in her mouth.  
  
Audible groans sounded from the other side of the island. Edward and Jasper sat there, eyes wide, jaws slacked. “Don’t ever do that again,” Edward moaned.  
  
“Huh?” I asked, feeling a little slow at the moment.  
  
“The thing with the finger, and … Nope.” Jasper didn’t even bother finishing his sentence, he just stared at Alice.  
  
Edward shook his head, smirking.     
  
“Jesus Christ, boys, it’s just a little brownie mix, no naughty girl time going on here. Perverts.” Alice admonished them both with a devilish grin on her face, but couldn’t help thinking of Edward’s little you’re-not-a-slut-rant earlier this morning and laughed. “And you’re right, Bells, something is a little off with the mix. I swear it’s that organic sugar shit. It’s too grainy sometimes,” she said, taking down a few coffee mugs.    
  
“Jazz, have you got any Amaretto?” I asked as a thought occurred to me.  
  
“Uh, yeah, but it’s a little early to be hittin’ the sauce, Bells.”  
  
“Not for me, _turkey_ , the brownies,” I clarified.  
  
“Oh.” He got up and went to the liquor cabinet, retrieved a bottle and came back. “Here ya go darlin’.”    
  
“Thanks.” I filled the cap twice and poured it into the mix, working it in with a wooden spoon. Once again, I dipped my finger into the bowl and was tempted to ask Alice to try it again because the look on Edward’s face was priceless. But this time I held it out to Edward.  
  
“Wanna taste?”  
  
“Yeah ...” He grasped my wrist and slowly drew my finger to his mouth. “Mmm, perfect,” he said, licking his lips.  
  
Again, my thighs squeezed together, and I had the sudden urge to cover myself in chocolate batter. _It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it_ , I thought as I imagined Edward licking me clean.   
  
“Good morning, flove bunnies!” Emmett hollered, much in the same fashion as the famous line uttered by Robin Williams in _Good Morning, Vietnam._  
  
Rose was hot on his heels. A strange half-smile was firmly stitched on her face.    
  
“Morning, Bella bunny, what are you making?” he asked.  
  
“Brownies,” Jasper and Edward offered in unison.  
  
“And you missed a nice little show, my friend,” Jazz said, his voice light and taunting.  
  
“Bella needed someone to test the mix,” Edward started.  
  
“And Alice put Bella’s finger in her mouth ... licked it clean,” Jazz finished.  
  
“And I missed that? Bum deal. Ladies, you wouldn’t be interested in a repeat performance, would you?” Emmett asked, wagging his heavy brow.  
  
Rose promptly smacked him. “Fucking ow, Rosie! What the hell?”  
  
“Emmett, don’t be a perv.” Rose wagged her finger at him and made a beeline for the coffee.  
  
“Whatever, woman. She buys the handcuffs, but _I’m_ the pervert,” he said with incredulity, rubbing the spot that Rose had struck.  
  
We all laughed.  
  
I put the brownies in the oven, set the timer, poured myself a cup of coffee and asked if anyone else would like one. Edward and Jazz piped up, so I poured two more cups. Emmett decided on a giant glass of apple juice. For some reason seeing Emmett’s big bear paw wrapped around a glass of apple juice made me grin.  
  
“So, how did you sleep, Bella bunny?” Emmett asked as I took a seat.  
  
“Um, fine... Wait, what’s with the bunny thing?” I asked, glancing across the room at the wide grinned, evil giant sitting next to Edward.    
  
 _Light bulb moment._  
  
“Oh sweet mother of pearl ... How much did you hear? No wait, don’t wanna know.” I buried my head in my hands while Rose chuckled and tapped me with her foot beneath the table.  
  
“Enough,” Emmett stated. “Welcome to the nasty _Flove Bunny club_!” He practically sang the words.   
  
My blush deepened significantly when I turned my eyes to Edward; he was of course wearing that sexy as hell crooked grin.  
  
“You know, Bells, you’ve got a decent set of lungs on you.”    
  
My head shot up and I glared at him. “Nowhere _near_ as talented as yours, Emmy. We could hear the two of you the other night all the way down _here_ in the kitchen. On the _other_ side of the house ... Closed door, and a whole _floor_ between us ... And I could _still_ make out your raspy pants and desperate, little noises. So, if you really wanna start slinging the shit, Emmy-Lou, how ‘bout we start there?”  
  
“Humph, told you so,” Rose said, shaking her head at her husband with a very smug look on her face.  
  
“Oh, come on. So you and Eddie had sex, big deal. ‘Bout time you scored. You know you—”  
  
“First off, _Emmy-Lou_ , if you’re going to cast stones from your glass house over there, you may as well have all the facts straight. Edward and I _did not_ have sex. Not that it’s any of your business, ass-monkey, but what you heard was a fantastic grind session. And, Emmett, _I swear_ to sweet baby Jesus, if you keep it up, I’ll lay your shit bare. I’m including you in this, Rose.” I knew I was six different shades of red right about then, but the idea of sitting in a car and listening to Emmett toss out comment after comment, dripping with sexual innuendo, was enough to give me the backbone I needed to shut him the hell up.   
  
“Me, why?”  
  
“Cheerleader, enabler, supporter ... whatever you want to call yourself. You’re guilty by association.”  
  
“Shut it, Emmett. You know as well as I do. She’s got shit on both of us.” She tossed a sharp look at Em and shook her head. Her lips were pressed into a tight line.  
  
“Silver-tongued, witty, beautiful, intelligent, and a great pair of … lungs,” Edward held out on that last word for just a beat. “You’re amazing.” He looked at me and beamed.  
  


**~~^~~**

  
The rest of breakfast went by in blur as Alice whirled around, packing and hauling her things out to her little yellow sports car. Rose and I cleaned up the breakfast mess. Jazz and Edward chatted about Jasper’s upcoming job. Pre-production began in about a week and Jasper would be off to L.A. to meet with the producers and director to discuss the look and feel of the wartime drama they would be working on for months to come.   
  
Rose and I each exchanged phone numbers and email addresses with Alice and hugged her fiercely before she left that morning to head out to Scotland for her next job.   
              
“Alright, let’s hit the road and let Jazz have his house back,” Rose declared when Emmett reached the bottom of the stairs with their little suitcase.   
  
Jazz saw us to the car, hugging both Rose and I, and going for that manly, guy hug thing with Emmett and Edward.   
  
The drive home wasn’t nearly as eventful as the drive up had been. Emmett was still glowering in the backseat, pissed about being outed with the spider story and likely none too happy about my putting the whammy on his teasing, so there was no talk of my ‘horrible music.’ Edward sat up front with me, holding my hand as I drove, offering to take over half way. I gladly caved.  
  
We’d dropped off Emmett and Rose first, which made no sense when you thought about it. But I wanted some alone time with Edward, and he, once again, seemed to know where my head was at, because he pulled up to their house first, and told me to sit tight. He helped them unload their luggage, said his goodbyes and then tucked himself behind the wheel, quickly pulling away from their house.  
  
“So, since we’re heading into Forks, I thought we could drive by your new house, so I can have a look,” he said, fussing with the radio station and finally settling on _a Black Keys_ song.   
  
“Sure thing, if Sherry’s home, I bet she’d even let me show you around.” I shifted in my seat and drummed my fingers on my legs to the beat of the song, my sad version of air drums. “Head up to Riviera Drive,” I directed.  
  
“After we peek in on your new home, would you like to come over? I planned on ordering pizza,” he asked, glancing at me quickly before returning his eyes to the road.   
  
“Um, sure, pizza sounds perfect.”   
  
“If you had plans … It’s fine, Bella, really,” he said with just the smallest hint of disappointment curling around his words.   
  
“No, I don’t have any other plans. I planned on eating, preferably something greasy, and maybe soaking in the tub with a box of those chocolate rosebuds, the mint ones,” I clarified. “And then I was planning on going to bed under the influence of a glass of red wine,” I finished.   
  
“Well, pizza will certainly meets at least one of the criteria. I may even have a chocolate stash somewhere in that apartment.”   
  
We pulled up in the driveway of my soon-to-be home, and I knocked on the door.  
  
“Well hello, darling, how are you?” Sherry greeted.   
  
“Good, thank you, Sherry. How are you?” I asked.  
  
“Oh just fine, just fine.  So, were you hoping to show this handsome young man the house?” she asked, cutting to the chase.   
  
“Only if it’s convenient for you.”  
  
“Well, come right on then, Miss Bella, and friend,” she said, making a grand sweeping motion with her arm.   
  
“Sherry, this is Edward. Edward, Sherry.” I introduced the two as I slid my shoes from my feet.    
  
“Nice to meet you, Edward.”  
  
“How’s your sister doing?” I asked as Sherry began walking us through the house.  
  
We made small talk, and Edward practically drooled over the size of the backyard and the stream running through it.   
  
“Bella, that house is amazing!” he raved as we piled back into the car.  
  
“I know, and she actually sold it for far less then list price to me. I hadn’t even made an offer yet. She just swooped in and said she’d give me the house for eight grand under list. She’s really eager to get to her sister.”  Edward had heard some of the story behind the hasty move when Sherry took us through the house.   
  


~~^~~

When we got to Edward’s loft, he gave me the tour.   
  
The building was an old, brick converted warehouse. The main floor was spacious and well lit by overhead track lights. The dark, wooden floors played well against the brick and the deep honey-toned walls. Earthy brown furniture surrounded the rug. Accent pillows in a rich grassy-green were tossed precariously on the long couch. The kitchen sat behind the living room; an island separated the two spaces. The honey-coloured paint in the kitchen morphed into a softer, buttery colour.   
  
The bathroom was painted in a cool, icy gray, making the red towels and accents pop out.   
  
His bedroom was the last stop on the tour. He led me up the floating stair case to the upper floor of the loft. The one wall was nothing but brick. His king sized bed was pushed against it, facing out to the rest of the loft. Long, tall dressers lined the staircase, creating a wall of sorts. The bedding was the same grassy-green as the accents from downstairs, nearly the same sparkling emerald as his beautiful eyes.   
  
We made our way back downstairs, and I hovered in the kitchen while he called in our pizza order.   
  
“Okay, pizza is on its way,” he declared. “So, what would you like to drink? I have pop, coffee, tea, water, and orange juice.”   
  
“Pop works for me.”   
  
We sat in the living room, the T.V. turned on low, and talked about Alice and Jasper. We were both of the belief that those two were quickly working their way toward the altar. I’d never seen Jazz so happy, and Alice was fantastic; even if she was a bit of a freak. I loved her immediately. The Mystic Pixie and Mood Ring; it sounded like a bad title for an even worse supernatural romance novel, but I was sure their story would be pure romance.   
  
The pizza arrived nearly forty minutes later, but it had felt like no time at all talking with Edward.   
  
“I hope you don’t mind my asking, but I’m a little curious ... How long had you tried the fertility drugs?” Edward asked before taking a bite of his pizza.   
  
Edward’s curiosity was in no way offensive to me. The fact that he dealt with hormones and the internal chemical workings of the human body for a living made explaining easier. Albeit, his focus was children, he’d been through medical school all the same and that alone alleviated any embarrassment on my part.   
  
“Well, we’d started to try to get pregnant about six months after we were married,” I began. “And when things weren’t happening - in more than one way - I sought out the help of a fertility specialist. He started me off on Clomid, and when that didn’t yield any results, we looked at my cycles a little closer and discovered that I wasn’t ovulating. That’s when he mentioned PCOS.” I’d been devastated to learn that my body wasn’t functioning properly.   
  
“Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is really very common, Bella,” Edward remarked, but I heard the lament in his statement.  
  
“I know, it was just difficult to hear that there was something wrong with me. Anyway, he supplemented the Clomid with Metformin hoping it would correct the issue. We tried two cycles of intrauterine insemination with no success. That’s when we decided to go ahead with the follicle stimulating hormones, and I was put on Ovidrel, Lupron and Gonal-F. I still took the Metformin and Clomid. We did three more IUI’s and on the last one, I was overstimulated. I think he counted six eggs. I got pretty sick and was put on bed rest until I could take a blood test to determine if it was successful. It was not and to this day it was the worst period I’ve ever experienced. I passed out, sweat, shook, threw up, and the cramps were _absolute hell_.”   
  
“Chemical pregnancy?” Edward asked, reaching to wipe away tears that had begun to fall.   
  
“They think so, but I was still a day away from the blood work when it started.”  I sighed heavily and took a bit of my pizza, chewed and swallowed. “We stopped after that. I couldn’t handle it anymore. The side effects of the drugs _alone_ were enough to make me want to throw in the receiving blanket. But the depression was almost more than I could handle.” I thought about the nights spent crying and clinging to my pillow and the rage that ran threw me every time my period started again.  I remember hating my body for its traitorous behaviour.   
  
“You know that wasn’t all you, right, Bella? You’ve already told me that Michael never ejaculated when you had sex, so as much as you blame yourself for that, he played a big role too. Was he tested? It’s more than possible that he was sterile and your PCOS was just an unfortunate coincides.”   
  
I wanted to be reassured by his words, but it only stung. I’d harboured such a deep hatred for my own body for so long. It was hard to accept, hard to place blame anywhere but at my own two feet.   
  
“Did you and Tanya want to have children?” I asked, curious, but also wanting to shift the direction of the discussion a little.   
  
“Yes, very much; she would have made a great mother.” He picked up a second piece of pizza and started in on it.  
  
I shifted in my seat, suddenly regretting my line of questioning. Being with me would guarantee that he would never have that. Tears rolled down my face quicker then I could turn away from him. My stomach felt sick, and my fists formed neat, little balls at my sides.  
  
“Oh shit, Bella, no please don’t cry, baby. Please.”   
  
“Edward, being with me means that you’ll never get that chance; don’t waste it on me,” I mumbled around the thick lump in my throat.  
  
“You don’t know that, Bella. Maybe fate stepped in. Maybe you were never _meant_ to have children _with Mike_. Being with you feels right on so many levels it fucking scares me. Look at us, we’re talking children and we’ve known each other for less than a week.” He poked a finger at my rib and smiled. He tried to lighten the mood with his joke, and to some extent it worked, but I was still deeply pained by the fact that choosing me meant a dead end.   
  
“I know, Edward, but why get any further into this if it’s not what you want.”   
  
“Isabella, listen to me,” he snapped, his voice was harsh, but his face remained compassionate as ever. “If that’s where life takes us, if we’re _meant_ to be together, then we will deal with that _together_. We’ll look at all the options, and we’ll do it all together. But right now, I just want to get to know you. We can travel that path another time. And no matter the result, I’d never, _ever_ regret my choice to be with you. _Ever_ ,” he emphasized.  
  
“Fair enough.” I choked back the lump and swallowed a mouthful of pop. I conceded more out of laziness than actual agreement. It felt wrong to take this from him, but I was too tired to argue.  We were quiet for moment or two before Edward decided to change the topic of conversation.   
  
“I was thinking ...” Edward looked at me a little sheepishly. It was adorable to see that little bit of boy still left in him. “That you’d like to maybe go out with me, on date…a first date.” He grinned as the words rolled off this tongue.   
  
I blushed, feeling young and silly all of a sudden. “And what are you purposing, Mr. Cullen?”  
  
“Nothing extreme …Dinner?”   
  
“Dinner I can do,” I assured him, nodding my head.   
  
“First date,” he mumbled. “I get the feeling there’s a lot of firsts on their way where you and I are concerned.”  
  
“Mmm,” I brought my hand to my mouth and finished chewing before I answered. “There will be one or two down the road.” My face reddened instantly, and I lowered my eyes.  
  
“Really? Like what?” he asked, sounding interested.  
  
I shook my head, not wanting to answer him.   
  
“Bella, you look embarrassed. I’ve seen that look plenty of times in the short time I’ve known you. Please don’t be.” His voice was so reassuring and it worked to assuage my discomfort.   
  
“Jake and I weren’t together for very long - months - but we did plenty of fooling around in that time. Some fantastic grind sessions in the back of his VW Rabbit, fingering when Charlie worked late, a hand job here or there, but there was a couple of things we never did.” I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to ward off the feeling of silly, little schoolgirl innocence that began to bloom in me. A virgin I wasn’t, but there were still things, at nearly thirty years of age, I’d yet to experience.   
  
“For example,” Edward nudged.  
  
“I’ve never given head before.” It all came out quick and whispered.   
  
“Never? What about Mike?” He sounded a little gobsmacked, and if he thought for a second that I’d missed that hopeful tint to his voice, he’d be wrong.   
  
“Nope, he never let me. Trust me I tried, but he always pulled me back up like the thought terrified him. Shit, maybe it did.” I contemplated that for one hot second before I turned my attention back to Edward.   
  
“He’s a fucking _mental midget_ ; he missed out on one of life’s true joys. Moron,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief.   
  
“Yeah, I’ve heard it ranks pretty high.”  
  
“Good sex, blow jobs, pizza and beer, and then hand jobs,” he said, snickering.  
  
“Duly noted.”  
  
“So, outside of that, is there anything else? Any other firsts, that I’ll have the distinct pleasure of providing or um … receiving?” he questioned, his fingers ran through my hair.  
  
“Err, I’ve never been, umm … No one’s ever—”   
  
Edward interrupted my rambling. “No one’s ever gone down on you?”   
  
“Nope,” I admitted. The heat of embarrassment burned my cheeks.  
  
“Okay, I need to edit that list a little.  Good sex, eating out a beautiful woman, blow jobs, fingering a perfect pussy, pizza and beer, hand jobs. _That_ will most certainly be remedied, I fucking _promise._ ” He sounded so resolved and adamant that it made me laugh. “I’m completely shit serious, Bella. It pisses me off a little that you’ve never experienced those things. And probably more,” he mused. “Have you ever had phone sex or made out in public? Sent naughty emails to someone?”   
  
“Uh, no to the phone sex, yes to PDA, and yes to the emails,” I swiftly explained.  
  
“Jake, on both counts I’m guessing?”   
  
“Yes and no. I’ve sent sexy, little emails to Mike before. Might as well have sent a blank email for all the good it did me, but whatever.”   
  
Anger again seemed to flash across his face and then dissolved. “I really don’t know how you managed, Bella. All your advances being thwarted like that; I’d have lost my shit.”  
  
“I _did_ lose my shit sometimes. I’d go days sometimes without really talking to him, hoping he’d clue in on how much it hurt me when he ignored me like that. It was like he was oblivious to it all though. Eventually I kind of gave up. No more steamy emails, no more parading around in lingerie; I even stopped trying in the bedroom and lay there until he gave up and rolled off me. The last time we had sex, I actually told him to stop. I couldn’t even continue to pretend anymore. He looked all upset and downtrodden, but I was uber pissed. Selfish, I know; kick him out of bed and _I_ get pissed off.” I hung my head. I felt a little ashamed of my actions.

 

“No not selfish, Bella, not at all. That was self-preservation kicking in. And for the record, feel free to parade around in lingerie any damn time you want. Jam up my inbox with nasty, little emails. I promise I won’t mind.” The crooked grin he wore on his face had my insides quivering.  
  
“Again, noted,” I said, fanning my heated face.  
  
He ran his knuckles over my check and down my jaw line.   
  
I leaned into his touch and sighed.  
  
I finished a third piece of pizza and my pop then gathered my purse and keys. It was getting late and we both had to work in the morning.  
  
“Okay, sir, I need to get my ass back to Port Angeles and to bed. I’ll call you on my lunch break?” I said, as I pulled up on my tippy toes to kiss his gorgeous face.   
  
“Mmm, your ass ...” He grabbed said ass and squeezed. “I love your ass. You know it’s fucking perfect, right?”  
  
“I try,” I said in a flirty voice, batting my eye lashes at him.   
  
“Give me your phone. I’ll program my numbers and email in there for you.”  
  
I handed over my phone and watched those oh-so-skilled fingers peck away at the tiny keys. Soon enough, he had his home, cell, and work number all plugged in there as well as his email.   
  
“Text me when you get home. Let me know you’re safe,” he said as he planted a gentle kiss on the top of my head.   
  
“I will,” I promised.   
  


**~~^~~**

I travelled through the back roads of Forks, Edward never far from my thoughts, his hands, his smell, his lips, the comfort of his strong embrace. I was in some kind of trouble, and I fucking _loved it_.    
              
I shut the door to the bathroom and turned the hot water on. The room began to fill with steam and the scent of the vanilla bubble bath I’d added. I slipped my clothes off and carefully stepped into the tub. Chocolate mint Rosettes in one hand, I lowered myself into the hot water.   
              
I reached for my cell phone and tapped out a quick message to Edward.  
  


 _Home now, chocolate and wine at the ready_.~B

A moment later the phone chirped.

**_In the tub?~E_ **

 

_Yes~B_

 

**_I’m a little fucking envious of the chocolate and wine sitting in the tub with you, all wet and very naked. Bastards.~E_ **

  
I had to laugh at his words. Though I had to admit a wet, naked Edward was a wonderful thought, one that would surely follow me into sleep tonight.   
  


_Sorry, baby, maybe next time. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.~B_

 

**_I’ll hold you to that, on both counts. ;)~E_ **

  
I could so very easily picture that wink and the lopsided smile that no doubt accompanied it.   
  


_Good night, Dr. Cullen. Now go to bed.~B_

  ** _Goodnight, lovely.~E_**

 

**_~~^~~_ **

I got out of the tub, dried off, and once I was cuddled up in bed, I took my phone and began to tap out a quick message.  
  


**_Mike, we need to talk. Tomorrow?~B_ **

  
I hadn’t exactly planned out what it was I wanted to say to him, not in specifics at least. His reaction was something I was little concerned with. It could go one of two ways with Michael. He could either be happy and understanding, or go all injured queen on me. I don’t know how I never saw it before. He stomped his foot when he was upset, smashed cupboards, and his voice even climbed an octave.   
  
_Total diva behaviour._ My phone buzzed, pulling me away from my musings.  
  


_Tomorrow’s fine. I have some down time in the morning before a supplier meeting, around nine. Everything okay?~M_

 

**_Everything is fine. I’m sure I can pull away from the classroom for a little while. Talk to you then.~B_ **

 

_Okay, until then.~ M_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for fun, let’s play name that tune! 
> 
> “I become your shadow, I'd love but don't know how to  
> I'm always lost for words  
> You look like a thousand suns, I wanna be  
> The only one left when your day is done.”


	14. Tuesday's Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing. But I am rockin’ a nifty pair of purple flannel Pj’ … They have snowflakes on them. No copyright infringement is intended.*
> 
> Congrats to the folks that guessed last chapter’s tune: Your Surrender by Neon Trees. Way to go!
> 
> This chapter is just fluffy filling. But we do get some down time with Ang, and a little vampire named Jackson.

**Chapter 14**

**~~^~~**

**Tuesday’s Gone**

  
**BPOV**  
  
“I’ll be right back, Ang.” I stood and slid my phone from my pocket.  
  
Angela put a comforting hand on mine and nodded. “Take your time, Bella. Jackson is doing great this morning. No worries.”   
  
This morning I told her I’d be taking a quick break to speak with Michael. She was more than happy when I told her about Edward, and she could hardly wait to meet him, so she fully understood why I had came to the decision I had. I gave her one last "are-you-sure" look, and when she shooed me away from the table, I smiled and quickly scooted from the room.  
  
I ducked into the staff room and took a seat on the old, lime green vinyl chair that had recently been outfitted with a lovely black duct tape patch on the backside of it.  
  
“Newton’s Olympic— Oh, hey, Bella,” he said, likely seeing my name pop up on the caller ID.  
  
“Are you okay to talk?” I was suddenly very nervous and started to shake my leg under the coffee stained table.  
  
“Yup, I’m good. What’s up?” I could hear him flipping pages. Like always, I wasn’t getting his full attention.  
  
“I need to say something, and I’m sorry if it’s hurtful, but it needs to be said regardless.” I paused, waiting for his response. I heard the leather chair he was sitting in shift.  
  
“Um, alright...”   
  
“Mike, I thought we’d be able, or... that  _I’d_  be able to keep you in my life. I thought that was the right thing to do, to be friends. It felt wrong to disconnect completely when we’d spent so much of our lives together, but—”  
  
“But  _what_ , Bella?” Mike barked, his toned pinched and annoyed.  
  
 _Oh good, bitchy queen it is. Awesome._     
  
“ _But_ , I can’t. I can’t pretend that all those years together really meant something. They were a lie, plain and simple, and I can’t honor a lie. I can’t play the role of forgiving ex-wife and friend when I’m still so fucking angry I could spit jelly beans.”  
  
“I never said you had to, Bella, and it wasn’t—”  
  
I had to cut that crap off. Because if he uttered the words  _"_ it wasn’t all a lie _",_ I’d flip my shit and lay into him proper. And that couldn’t happen, not at work.

“I met someone,” I blurted out before I thought about it.  
  
The line was silent for a moment, and I grew more anxious. I hadn’t really  _planned_  on telling him about Edward. I didn’t think it was his business, but there it was, out there just begging to be picked apart because my big mouth couldn’t seem to help itself.  
  
“So, what are you looking for? My permission to  _fuck around_?” Mike said, and although I couldn’t see his face, I could hear the vitriol in his voice. The visual wasn’t necessary; he was fuming.  
  
“I’m not asking for your  _permission._ It’s not yours to give!  _You_  lied to me, Mike, not the other way around, so you can just stick that scorned husband act of yours…” I took a deep breath. That was not why I’d called, not really, though admittedly, it felt  _damn good_  to verbally abuse the boy, if only for a moment.   
  
“Look, I just needed you to know where I stand and that I have every intention of shoving  _you_ , and everything we were, away from my life as much as possible. I can’t  _function_ ,” I explained, “and I shouldn’t have to try. I just thought things would be better that way…and they are,  _for you_. You’re the only one that benefits from me sticking around while I suffer. My being with someone so soon after may be selfish, but I need that right now. The last eleven years has been about covering up your well manicured lie, and I just need things to be about what  _I want and need for once_.”  
  
I quieted for a moment and took the time to catch my breath.  
  
“I said I’m sorry, but I guess that doesn’t cut it anymore.”  
  
 _Really? Sorry was his only game plan? Well that puts me in my place doesn’t it? At the end of the line._   _All of Mike’s wants and needs were miles ahead of me. Figures._  
  
“What if people see you out with him? What am I supposed to tell people, Bella?”  
  
I shot from my seat, pure rage and annoyance fueling my movements. “You have got to be fucking kidding me, Michael! Maybe you should start with the  _truth_. I know it’s a novel fucking idea, but you can’t be serious...”  
  
“Do you know how embarrassing that will be for me, Bella? To have my  _very recently_  estranged wife hanging off the arm of another man...”  
  
I closed my eyes and pictured my hands wrapped around Mike’s stupid neck, wringing every ounce of air from his lungs.  
  
“I don’t give a pig’s ass how it makes  _you feel_ , Michael.” My voice was smooth and deadly calm. I must have looked pretty damn scary. I felt that all too familiar venom begin to pool in my mouth as I spat the words out in a cold, calculated way. “You lied, you stole, and hid for more than ten years. I could  _fuck_  everyone north of the state line, and you’d still have exactly shit to say about it. If you feel like you need to keep up the straight façade, you go right the hell ahead, but know that I’ll have absolutely nothing to do with it.”  
  
I pushed the end button on my phone and slid it back into my pocket. I didn’t feel like I had anything left to say, and I sure as hell wasn’t about to keep up that thrilling conversation.  
  
 _I said my piece, and now I’m done with it._   _And God, I feel good._  Never before had my feet felt so firmly planted.  
  
“Bella, I could use some backup...” My walkie-talkie buzzed and crackled with Angela’s voice.  
  
“Shit.” I plucked the walkie-talkie from my waist band and let her know I was on my way.

**_~~^~~_ **

  
**EPOV**  
  
“It was nice, Mom. I had a really good time,” I said, walking toward my office, cell phone to my ear, briefcase and lunch in one hand. The halls were nearly empty and my voice reverberated off the walls.  
  
“That’s good to hear. So, how is Emmett doing?” Mom took a liking to Emmett the first time she’d met him. It was hard not to like him. All of his antics and bullshit aside, he really was a decent guy.  
  
“He’s good. He and Rose are happy. He’s doing very well with that gaming company. Lucky bastard does most of his work from home.” I unlocked my office door and tossed my keys, briefcase, and lunch down on the desk and gently kicked the door closed with my foot. I flipped on the lights and the computer. “How are you and Dad doing?” I asked, settling into my chair.  
  
“We’re fine, baby. But, if it’s not too much to ask, I have a favor.”  
  
“Anything. Well, anything  _but_  eat Dad’s meatloaf. Ever. Again.”  
  
My mother chuckled on the other end. I loved the sound of her light, easy laugh. So much of it reminded me of home. “No, Edward, I’m pretty sure that would be considered cruel and unusual punishment in  _most_  states. That shit is just god awful,” she said, and I could practically picture the grimace on her face. I loved that my mother swore. She always had, even when I was a child. She didn’t believe in sheltering me from what she thought was inevitable anyway. I was bound to hear it all anyway, likely in the school yard. She was clear, however, that just because adults spoke that way, didn’t mean I was allowed the same privilege.  
  
When I was eleven, while defending the honor of my first ever crush, I was punched in the face—hard. I went home with a bloody nose and a seriously bruised ego. During my heated explanation of the events, I let the F-bomb fly and then immediately clamped my hand over my mouth. I was sure I was in for a verbal reckoning after that. It never came. Instead, she took my hand away from my mouth and said that the bloody nose and my gallant behavior had earned me the right to swear. And swear I did. But the novelty of it soon wore off.    
  
“Then we’re good, shoot.”  
  
“There’s a house for sale—it’s really not far from you,” she explained. “I saw the listing on MLS, but it only had pictures of the outside posted. I was wondering if you’d be willing to see it for us. Take a few pictures of the interior, so I have an idea of what I’d be working with.”  
  
“Sure, just send me the realtor information, and I’ll book an appointment for sometime this week.”     
  
“Wonderful! Oh, I almost forgot, Kate found a few of your things. Nothing you’d require anytime soon, just a few old shirts and two books. Do you mind if we hold on to them until the move, or would you prefer we send them to you straight away?”  
  
“I’m sure I’ll get along without them until you and Dad are back.”  
  
“I figured as much. So, who is she?” my mother said with a smug tone ringing through her voice.  _How the fuck do they do that? How do they just_ know  _when a woman has walked into your life?_  
  
 _Jedi Mom powers_ , I deduced. “Who’s who?”  
  
“The girl you’ve met, Edward. Don’t play games with me, boy. I can hear it in your voice. Who is she?” Her voice rose up an octave, and she sounded both excited and serious.  
  
“How in the holy hell do you do that?” I wanted an explanation for that voodoo mom shit.    
  
“It comes standard with the mommy package. I also have eyes in the back of my head,” she said without missing a beat.  
  
I laughed and ran my hand through my hair. Quickly, I peeked at my schedule to see what time my first patient of the day was due to arrive. “Her name is Bella Newton. She’s a friend of Emmett and Rose. She came with us to Seattle,” I quickly rattled off.  
  
“Uh-huh, and?” My mother could be an awfully nosy little woman.  
  
I sighed. “She works for the school board in Port Angeles. She’s a Behavioral Specialist, and she works under Rose, technically. Her father is the police chief of Forks, Chief Swan.” I pulled up the electronic file for my first patient this morning and perused the contents.  
  
“Charlie Swan?” she asked with recognition in her voice.    
  
“Yes, one and the same,” I confirmed.  
  
“I’ve met him on occasion. Such a nice man. He could be a little gruff sometimes, but I guess it goes with the territory.”  
  
“You’ve met him?” I stopped looking at the file.  
  
“Yes, when I was still a nurse,” she commented. “On occasion we’d have a nasty out burst on the ward, a ‘that’s not my baby’ argument from a pissed off father. Mom and dad were white and the baby comes out black; that shit happens more then you’d like to know. Charlie would break it up. Sometimes he would accompany someone from Child Protective Services to remove a baby, things like that. He was always very professional and checked his emotions and opinions at the door and did what needed to be done for the sake of the child.”  She paused for moment, but the silent air between us seemed pregnant for some reason.  
       
“What?” I asked, knowing there was something.  
  
“I’d heard the chief’s daughter was married,” she said.  
  
“Technically she is,” I began. I didn’t have the chance to explain before she began her verbal lashing. I rolled my eyes, and smoothed out the crease on my pants.  
  
“Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, what the fuck are you thinking, getting involved with a married woman? Where the hell is your head at, son? Oh, no, don’t answer that. I know  _exactly_  where it was…buried between the legs of the police chief’s  _married_  daughter. What the fuck, Edward?”   
  
I mentioned my mother swore, right?  
  
“Mom, please, please just shut up for a minute and let me explain. Please?” I snapped at the woman. I knew my biting tone would give her pause. I rarely raised my voice to my parents.  
  
“This ought to be good,” she murmured. I heard her huff loudly, and I heard the distinctive squishing of leather; she was in the living room.  
  
“Bella is separated from her husband,” I said.  
      
“Well, that’s a bit of a relief. How long have they been separated? And how do you know they won’t be getting back together? It happens all the time, Edward.”  
  
I rolled my eyes again, glad she couldn’t actually see me. She would’ve offered her hand to the back of my head —swiftly. The thought made me wince, and I rubbed the back of my head. “Not long, Mom, but a reunion is  _definitely_  not in the works.” I couldn’t help the soft chuckle that followed.  
      
“You can’t be sure of that, Edward.”  
      
“Yes, yes, I can.”  
      
“Listen to me, boy, just because she said so,  _doesn’t_  make it so. I don’t want you to get hurt.”  
      
“Mom, Bella’s husband is gay. No reunion, trust me.”  There was really nothing I could do about the snark that seethed from me in that moment. I hadn’t planned on divulging the ins and outs of Bella’s impending divorce, but I knew she’d need a better explanation. She’d never let up otherwise. Then she’d make my father call me, and give me shit for dating a married woman, and I wanted no part of that.  
      
“Excuse me, what’s that now?” She sounded a little put off by my statement.  
      
“Gay, Mom. He is a homosexual,” I said sarcastically.   
      
“Oh, oh my. I’m not sure what to say to that. How long had they been together?”  
      
Running a little short on time, I launched into the Cole’s cliff notes version of the situation.  
      
“Oh, Edward, the poor thing. She must be an absolute mess.” Her voice was full of concern for the well being of a woman she’d yet to meet.  
      
“She kind of is… sometimes, but she’s strong, Mom. She’s so strong and so brave and  _smart_. She’ll push through this and come out fucking sparkling. You watch.”  I smiled at the very thought of Bella. It would be four days before I’d get to see her again. My work schedule wasn’t necessarily to blame but the meetings with potential investors, and other doctors eager to see this project of mine get off the ground, most certainly were. The children’s center consumed a great deal of my spare time, but I was committed and very much wanted to see it through.  
      
“I hope so, Edward. Something like that could easily kill someone of lesser strength.”  
      
“I know, but she’s amazing and she has plenty of help.” Bella really did have a fantastic support system and for that I was grateful.    
      
“I fully expect to meet this package of amazing when your father and I are home.” It almost sounded like a warning. I rolled my eyes once again.  
      
“I promise you and Dad will be meeting Bella. I’d chat longer, Mom, but I have patient due in about ten minutes, and I’d like to get a little more coffee in me.”  
      
“Alright, baby. You have a good day and call us when you have the chance. I know you’re busy with work and the center,” she said. On the lips of most mothers, that would have sounded a little like a guilt trip but in this case, she was simply acknowledging my busy life. I appreciated it.  
      
“I will. I’ll email you when I have those pictures for you.”  
      
“Sounds good. Alright, I’ll let you go. Take care.”  
      
“You too, Mom. Love you,” I said, reaching behind me to pluck my white jacket off the back of my chair. The same ‘white coat’ that sometimes resulted in an elevated blood pressure in my patients;  _White Coat Syndrome_  they called it. Situational hypertension caused by the anxiety of being in a clinical setting. It happens to adults all the time, happens to children even more. There was so much about a hospital or doctor’s office that was unknown, and to a sick child, possibly terrifying.  For that reason, my office walls were covered in colorful animals and a small toy box laid in the corner of the room.  
      
“I love you too, darling,” she said before the line went silent.  
      
I had just enough time to suck back a mediocre cup of vending machine coffee before Julia and her daughter, Mara, were sitting in my office.

**~~^~~**

  
**BPOV**  
      
“Yeah, it broke the skin pretty damn good,” I explained to Rose.  
      
“Little vampire. That’s three attacks like that in the last four school days. What’s going on with this kid, Bella?” Rose asked, both pissed and concerned.  
      
“I think it’s the substitute teacher they’ve had. Ms. Cope is off sick, seems she’s developed a respiratory infection. Same thing happened when Angela was off on vacation.”  
      
“That’s right. He attacked Shelly and the bus driver that week. I almost forgot. Oh, he’s gonna be a peach when it comes time to transferring him to middle school.”  
      
“No kidding.”  I thanked the gloomy looking heavens above that it wouldn’t be happening for another two years.  
      
“Okay, so head to the clinic and have those marks checked out. I’ll call Stevens’ and let them know you won’t be in this afternoon,” Rose said. I could hear her typing away on her keyboard.  
      
“Alright. I’ve already doubled up the E.A.’s in Jackson’s room for now. That should give Ang a little support should the kid lose his crap again today. I’ll see you when you get home. I’m probably going to Ang’s for a few days, but I need to stop off at home first.”  
  
“Oh right, Ben’s gone,” Rose said as though she were reminding herself. “Well, get fucking going already. Stop bleeding all over my school.”  
      
“So compassionate, Rosalie,” I joked. “I’m bleeding profusely and you’re worried about the floors. Nice.” I peeked under the loose bandage and sure enough, it was still bleeding pretty good.  
      
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll talk you later, alright?”  
      
“Right, later.” I didn’t bother waiting for her response. I knew damn good and well the receiver was already on its way back to the cradle.  
      
After notifying the rest of support team, I left Dry Creek Elementary and headed for the walk-in clinic.  
      
I stepped through the doors and realized pretty quickly that I was in for a long freaking wait. I signed in at the reception desk and then gave a rundown of how my arm came to look like ground hamburger to the triage nurse. She gave me forms to fill out and put a clean, temporary bandage on my arm. At this point, the bleeding had pretty much stopped, but by the look of my arm, you’d think Cujo himself had a go at me.  
      
They trained me to ‘feed the bite,’ which meant when a blood sucker, like young Jackson, latched onto you, you pushed your arm (or whatever they’ve latched on to) toward the bite. I could also gently push the back of the kid’s head into the bite. That action forced the jaw to loosen, widening the bite and giving me a little wiggle room to remove my flesh before I lost it. That normally worked just fine, however, Jackson had a pit-bull like jaw. He bit down, and his jaw locked. Efforts to loosen the bite and escape were met with further injury. See, Jackson corn cobbed. As soon as the jaw was widened, even the slightest, he moved up or down and re-clamped. Feeding the bite, in his case, was an exercise in futility.  
  
I knew that; I knew that like I knew it was Tuesday, but instinct and training took over, mostly because the little demon had caught me off guard. Instead of doing what I should have—which in that case was to immobilize him to keep the ripping and tearing to a bare fucking minimum and hold his nose— I fed the bite. I knew the nose holding sounded evil, but when your mouth was wrapped around someone’s arm and your other blow hole was being pinched, you opened your mouth pretty damned fast. It wasn’t a technique we liked to use, and it needed to be board and parent approved, but it had saved many an E.A. a trip to the clinic.  
      
I sat down after completing the paper work and got comfortable, well, as comfortable as one could get in those hard plastic, bolted to the floor, chairs. I was about to crack open the book I’d been reading, but then thought to call Edward while I had the chance.  I took out my phone and began to peck out a message.

 

_Afternoon, Dr. Cullen, how’s your day going?--B_

      
About two minutes later the phone buzzed in my hand.

 

_Afternoon, beautiful girl. Day’s been good so far. How ‘bout you?--E_

_Not so hot. I’m sitting in the walk-in clinic with a lovely bandage on my left arm.--B_

  
The phone was quick to chirp back with a response.

 

_Why? What happened? Are you okay?--E_

_Jackson happened and a momentary lapse in judgment. I got bit and Rose wanted me to have it looked at.--B_

_Ouch! I’m sorry you’re in pain, baby.--E_

_Not the first time, won’t be the last. No big deal. The wait here is ridiculous. You should see this. It’s like a freaking zoo here.--B_

_I believe it. So, are we still on for Friday night?.--E_

_Absolutely. What time?--B_

_Meet me at my place for five?--E_

_I can do that.--B_

_Perfect, I’ll see you then.--E_

_Alright, until then, Dr. Cullen.--B_

_I’ll try to call tonight if I have any down time but no guarantees.--E_

_That’s fine.--B_

_Goodbye, beautiful.--E_

_Goodbye.--B_

I melted a little when he called me beautiful. Silly and simple, I knew, but it felt good all the same. I slipped my phone back into my purse and cracked open my book.  
      
Two hours later, I finally left the clinic, arm throbbing, clean bandage, and a prescription for an antibiotic to ward off the nasty human mouth germs that were no doubt spreading through my system, hoping to create a wonderful little infection. When I got home, I took two Advil for the pain and went about getting my things together for my little stay at Angela’s.   
  
Once I finished that task, I went to the front room to channel surf until Emmett or Rose came home. Emmett had a meeting today and actually had to go into work, so I had the house to myself for a little while.  
      
I must have fallen asleep watching Jerry Springer, because the next thing I knew, there was a very large man looming over me.  
      
“Want me to put the pork chops on the grill?” Emmett asked.  
      
“Oh, son of an ugly pup,” I groaned. “I fell asleep. You should have woke me up when you got in, you goof.”  
      
“Nah, you looked cozy. Besides, it’s only four-thirty. Rose just pulled in.”  
      
I sat up, shaking the blanket off me and turning the T.V. off. I stretched, listening to the bones pop and shift in my body.  
      
“Shit, Miss Bella, did you get attacked at school?” Emmett took my arm in his hands ever so gently and eyed my bandage.  
      
“Yup, bit, twice. The little sucker was quick.” I turned toward the front entrance at the sound of Rose coming through the door.  
      
“Ouch, no fun.”  
      
“Yeah, that’s what I said.” I walked toward the front hall, Emmett trailing behind me.  
      
“No nerve damage or anything like that, Bells?” Rose called out as she trotted through the door and made a beeline for the bathroom.  
      
“None that he could see,” I explained.  
      
“Nerve damage, you’re fucking kidding right?” Emmett looked shocked.  
      
“No, it happens. Most of the time it’s temporary though,” I explained. “I haven’t seen the nerves jump or do that twitchy thing, and there’s no loss of sensation at all. Should be fine, no worries, Emmy-Lou.”  
  
The two of us milled around in the kitchen, Emmett sorting mail while I washed away the nap breath with a cold glass of water.   
  
“So are you heading over to Ang’s now?” Rose asked when she met us in the kitchen.  
  
“Yeah, I’m just going to give her a call.” I reached for the phone on the countertop.  
  
“So, not staying for dinner, Bells?” Emmett asked as he pulled the pork chops from the fridge.   
  
I shook my head and dialed Angela’s number.  
  
“Hello?”  
  
“Hey there, little momma, how are you?”  
  
“Good, lonely though. Ben left this morning, even the dog is bummed out.” Ben was away on a conference in Vancouver and wouldn’t be back until Friday evening. It being only Tuesday evening, and being the last trimester of her pregnancy, I wasn’t too keen about her being alone that long. Her maternity leave was due to start in a little more than two weeks.  
  
“Looking for a little company?” I asked.  
  
“Absolutely,” Ang said. Her voice was chipper and warm.  
  
“I was thinking I’d stay until Friday morning. You can use me as you see fit, and I promise to keep the sleep talking to a minimum.” I knew it wouldn’t take much to convince her. She hated being alone in that house.  
  
“Is cleaning included in that?” she asked, sounding hopeful.  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“Pedicures?”  
  
“I already have the kit packed,” I informed her.  
  
“Then by all means, Miss Bella, come on down!” She shouted the last words as if she were calling out contestants on the Price is Right.  
  
“I’ll be there in about twenty minutes. Do you need me to pick up anything?”  
  
“Nope, I’m good.”  
  
“Okay, see—”  
  
“Err, maybe Cheetos ... oh, and Sour Patch Kids,” she said, and I could practically picture her bright eyes twinkling at the mere thought of cheesy goodness.  
  
“Really? Cheetos  _and_  Sour Patch Kids? That’s messed up, Ang.”  
  
“Screw you, I want crunchy  _and_  sour!” she demanded.  
  
“As you wish, Pregzilla. Anything else?”  
  
“Hmm, cleaning supplies. I’ve got  _nothing_  in the way of all purpose cleaners, but I’ve got eleven boxes of Kraft Dinner. I swear to god. I go shopping for cleaning stuff and leave with mac n’ cheese.”  
  
I laughed and made a quick list on a scrap piece of paper that was sitting by the phone.  
  
“Okay, hon, I’ll see you soon. If you think of anything else, just call my cell.”  
  
I gathered my purse and my bag, shoved my feet into my shoes, and scooped my keys off the table. I said goodbye to Em and Rosie and headed to the store.    
  
When she opened the door, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and gave her a good squeeze.  
  
“Angela, you’re frigging huge. Are you sure there’s only  _one_  baby in there?” I asked, my eyes glued to her super swollen belly.  
  
“I’m sure… though, whether or not it’s human is another matter.”  
  
“So, I brought cleaning supplies, Greek salads for dinner, the goodies you requested, and a pedicure set. Where do you want me to start?” I raised my arms up to show her the bag full of supplies I had.  
  
“Cleaning,  _please_ …I haven’t been able to see my feet for the last month, let alone the floor. Ben’s amazing, but I’m sure that bathroom is a mess.” Her upper lip quirked into a funny grimace, and she pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her tiny nose.  
  
“Cleaning it is, little momma.”  
  
I put the salads in fridge and made my way to the bathroom with the bag of cleaning supplies. I made sure I bought Eco-friendly products that didn’t have a harsh smell to them. I remembered when Angela had first become pregnant, the smell of the disinfectant the janitor used in the school bathrooms induced round after round of vomiting.   
  
I made Ang sit out in the living room while I scrubbed. The bathroom wasn’t half as bad as she thought. But poor Felix...he needed a bath.  
  
“Oh, dog, you stink!” I moaned as I picked up the small pooch and set him in the laundry tub.  
  
He gave me a pitiful look.  
  
“I know, buddy, Mommy usually takes care of this stuff, doesn’t she? She’s kind of huge right now,” I whispered to Felix.  
  
He whined and cocked his big, goofy head. Felix was a Basset Hound: stocky, stout, and looked like he could use a good dose of Prozac.  
  
When I set Felix down and dried him off, he hustled off as fast as his eight year old legs would take him and snuggled down into his comfy looking bed.  
  
“So, tell me more about Edward,” Angela said, singing his voice and batting her thick eyelashes.  
  
“Well, like I said this morning, he was friends with Em and Rose already. He’s an endocrinologist, and he plans on opening a children’s clinic in the area. He’s hotter than Satan’s sauna, sweet and smart with a side of cocky. His parents are moving back to Forks sometime in the near future. He was engaged to be married, but his fiancée passed away. He’s still dealing with that two years later.”  
  
 _Holy mouth full_.   
  
“So, by ‘hotter than Satan’s sauna,’ you mean?”  
  
“Hot! Like you’d seriously consider handing your  _mother_  over to a gang of ex-cons for the night if it meant you got to see him shirtless. And believe me, Ang, it’s worth it.”  
  
“ _Isabella Marie_ , did you sleep with him?” Her mouth was wide open and her eyes all big.  
  
“No, I didn’t. We may or may not have dry humped, though.” I flashed her a big cheesy grin.   
      
The late afternoon, though not sunny, was fairly warm. May was over and summer was trying to push forward. The breeze was cool and light, but the air was warm so we opted to eat dinner out on the patio. Salads in hand, I followed a waddling Angela out to the back patio. We spent a few hours blathering on about staff injuries, Edward, and then moved on to the topic of the evening…my melt down with Mike.  
  
Ang was a little surprised by what I said, but proud. She was also immensely pissed off at Mike for his selfish behavior today.   
  
“You know, Bella, I might be all  _waddly,_ but I can still kick some ass,” she declared, bringing her tiny fists up between us. The image was comical to say the least, and I had to laugh.   
  
“Easy, Pregzilla, I’m pretty sure you’ll have to stand in line for that ass kicking, my dear.”  
  
After dinner, Ang and I settled on the couch in the front room and talked baby names. She was quick to discard each of my suggestions though. According to her, I should never be allowed to name a child.  
  
“What’s wrong with Kryslyn?” I asked, feigning hurt.  
  
“Those stupid cross-bred, hybrid names drive me nuts,” Ang barked, rolling her eyes.  
  
“Angel?”  
  
“He was a hot ass vampire on a television series, Bella. No.”  
  
 _Shot down again._  
  
“Blaze?”  
  
“Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, Blaze Cheney.  _Nope_ , more like, ‘and now, on the main stage, the Lusty Beaver presents...Blaze Cheney.’  Yeah, I think not.”  
  
I threw my head back and laughed so hard I was sure I peed a little. Angela openly admitted to it already, so I didn’t feel too bad.  
  
“Destiny?” I tossed out between huffs and puffs.  
  
“Future poll dancer. Seriously, is there form a we can fill out to have you legally stripped of all baby naming rights? Christ you’re terrible.”  
  
“And you can do so much better?” I challenged.  
  
“Nathaniel Andrew for a boy and Rebecca Ann for a girl,” she deadpanned.   
  
I had to admit they were great names, but I really didn’t see what was so wrong with Kryslyn.  
  
Angela’s last day of school was this coming Friday and her baby shower a week later. So much was changing and there was so much right around the corner: my date with Edward on Friday, the move to my new home, the end of the school year. It almost felt like too much, but then I remembered the people I had with me along for the ride, and suddenly it seemed like nothing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, time to rec a fic. If you haven’t read The Vagina Monologues by jtmd24 (on FF), you should. This fic is completed. jtmd24 uses bits and pieces of her own life to weave the happenings of this story. Here’s the official summary for ya: What happens when 2 strangers have a 1-night-stand in college? Life. But not the way you planned. It's raising a foul-mouthed toddler, selling sex toys & trying to make your dreams come true. Oh, and running into your drunken hook-up 5yrs later.
> 
> Seriously this some funny shit, go read it, now!


	15. Out Take: Naked Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not a full chapter, it is an out take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * I have a mild obsession with Twilight, but I do not have the rights to it. No infringement intended*
> 
> Okay, so this little ditty was originally part of the good times in Seattle and involved Jasper. It was never going to make it in to the montage, but it was so much fun to write, I had to put it in here somewhere. I tweaked it and changed it, and here it is, lunch with Emmett and Edward.

**Outtake:**

**Naked Lunch**

**EMPOV**  
  
I looked away from the TV and to Edward, who currently looked bored as fuck, munching on a grilled panini I’d made us for lunch. “So, you and Bella, huh?”  
  
“Yeah. I hope anyway,” he said, grimacing at the TV. Action movies, where shit was blown up just for the sake of blowing it up, have never been much of a favourite as far as Edward was concerned.    
  
“You hope? I _heard_ the noises she was making Sunday night, and I’m pretty sure you’re set my friend.”  I looked back to the screen just in time to see a truck blow up in grand fashion. _Nice_.  
  
“She wanted to talk to Mike before we took things any further. She needed him to know that she was moving on and that he can’t be apart of that,” Edward explained, sounding a little bummed. “I think there’s a part of her that feels obligated to him somehow, or to the relationship anyway. I fully understand that. You can’t erase ten years in ten seconds; it doesn’t work like that. She did tell me that she gave him hell though. I wish I could have been there to hear it.”  
  
I thought about getting up and going over to console him, but…truck and fire and _boom._ When a commercial came on, I turned back to look at him. “So, that’s really _all_ that went on? Just a little dry hump? She wasn’t just saying that to throw me off her back, right? I mean, I _heard_ the noises she was making. Sounded a whole lot like sex to me.”  
  
“Emmett, a gentleman never kisses and tells,” he said with a stupid grin on his face.  
  
“Yeah, well I’m no gentleman. I had Rosie bent over that pretty, cushy chair last night. So start talkin’, Cullen, or I’m gonna go into _detail_ , man,” I demanded, hitting mute on the remote.    
  
“Em, I’m pretty sure your lovely wife would hang you out to dry for talking about her like that,” Edward said, shaking his head at me.    
  
“Yeah, probably. But she’s not here. She’s probably deep in some serious sex talk herself. Man, have you listened to a group of women talk about sex, especially if they’ve been drinking? They go into _specifics,_ man. They like to wag their little fingers at us for being pigs, but they’ve got some nasty mouths on them sometimes. Not that I mind,” I admitted.  
  
Edward said nothing, just munched away on his sandwich.  
  
“ _Come on_ , man. You got to witness the finger lickin’ goodness. Ya gotta give me something,” I begged. “And I mean absolutely _no_ disrespect to those two lovely ladies, but that must have been a delicious little moment.”  
  
“Um, correct me if I’m wrong, Emmett, but I believe that _you_ were witness to something a hell of a lot better than a quick, innocent little finger lick back in the day,” Edward said.

I quickly cast my memory back to an evening in the dorms with a drunken Rose and Bella.  
  
“Ohh, yeah! Fuck, I’d forgotten all about that, man, but thanks, seriously. It took me _years_ to wash that image from my spank bank. _Years_ , man. Still...” I shook my head.  
  
“Alright, this normally isn’t the kind of conversation I’d be all too interested in, considering one of the participants is my current crush, but I could do with a refresher,” he said as he sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees.    
  
I was quick to launch into the story. “Alrighty…so we were in our second year, Halloween night. There were parties all over campus. You were, of course, studying for some fucking _I-don’t-care-medical-thing_. So it was Rose, Bella and me. Mike was too busy to come up for the weekend and party with us, ‘cause he’s bitch. So, the first party we were at was a house party that Bree and some of her roommates threw. Lots of women, booze, and dancing. The girls paced themselves, not drinking too much so early in the night, but by the time we got to Eric’s, they were plastered.  
  
“You’ve seen them drunk but, dude, that’s _nothing_. I’ve seen these girls _drunk_. So, after dragging them away from yet another round of orange Jell-o shooters, we stumbled back to Rose and Bella’s dorm.  They both plopped down on Bella’s bed and started talking about something they’d been mumbling about for half the night. I really hadn’t been paying too much attention. Rosie’s costume was a little fucking distracting. She was a Care Bear. You know the little bears with the pictures on their tummies? ‘ _Care Bear stare_ ’ and all that shit. She was the yellow one...whatever the fuck its name was.”  
  
“Funshine Bear,” Edward said.  
  
“Um, what now?” I mumbled.  
  
“The yellow bear…Funshine Bear.”  
  
“You’ve gotta be shitin’ me. You know their damned _names_?” I palmed my face, worrying just a little about my good buddy. I shook my head and looked over to Edward. I decided to let it slide for now. _But if buddy thinks that shit isn’t gonna come back to bite him in the ass when he least expects it, he’d be oh-so wrong._  
  
“ _Anyway_ , she had cute little yellow ears on her head, short as hell pleated skirt on, and a tight tee shirt with a sun on it. High ass heels, too. I’ve never seen a cartoon look so good _.”_  
  
 _I still have pictures from that Halloween in some little box or other_ , I reminded myself.  
  
“And Bella?” Edward asked, looking a little worked up.    
  
“Bella was cute as hell, too. She was a vampire. Red leather bustier thingy, black skirt, blood red streaks in her hair. She refused to wear the fangs, though, she thought they looked ridiculous. I remember she had this shimmering body powder on her. That shit was on _everything_ , all over me, all over Rose. Anyway, the two lushes were going on about kissing, specifically that Bella missed being kissed. She missed Jake’s kisses. I remember thinking that was an odd thing to say, since she was dating Mike at the time. Makes perfect sense now though.” I took a minute to think about that, why a woman would crave the kiss of another man. She wasn’t getting what she needed from him even then, and yet she stayed and endured it for years. I was kind of torn between wanting to smack her upside the head and having her canonized.  
  
Shaking myself away from my stray thoughts, I continued with my story. “Rose was saying maybe she should dump Mike, but Bella decided against it because she loved him, blah blah. Anyway, I got bored and had to piss, so I headed out to bathroom. I came back and Rose and Bella are locked at the lips,” I said, nodding my head and smiling, because that shit was _seriously_ hot.  
  
“They didn’t hear me come in, so they just kept going. I sure as _fuck_ wasn’t going to stop them. I was more than happy to sit back and watch whatever played out, man. Maybe a minute later, there was a noise outside in the hall that startled them, and they looked up all shocked to see me there. They both burst out laughing. Rose went to her bed, and Bella stayed in hers, and they were both passed out cold within a half hour. I asked Rose about it the next day, and she apologized. Like I gave a sweet shit. I’m sorry, but when your super hot girlfriend makes out with _her_ super hot girlfriend, apologies really aren’t needed. You know?”     
  
He nodded at that. “She said Bella missed being kissed, so she kissed her, no big deal. Never happened again, regrettably,” I lamented. “So, I showed you mine, Cullen, your turn. What the hell did you and Bella Bunny get up to Sunday night?”  
  
Edward snorted at me.  
  
I think he was planning on me forgetting all about that shit. Not. Likely.    
  
“Those fantastic fucking sounds you heard were the result of some insanely hot grinding, just like she said. _Tool_ ,” he said.    
  
“You’re kidding me, right?” I said, not really believing him.  
  
“Em, you told me yourself, Bella hasn’t gotten off in like _years_ ; that _had_ to be satisfying.”  
  
“Fucking sounded that way to me. Good for Bella,” I said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed a little one on one time with the boys. I know I did. And if you’re thinking that sounded a little OOC for Bella, so did I. But we’ve all had drunken moments that I’m sure we’d like like to keep tucked away in a little box somewhere. OOC behaviour aside, it gave us just a little insight into what Bella had been going through even then.
> 
> READER POLL: We already know Em’s a big fan of the Care Bears, but what was your favourite cartoon/show as a child?
> 
> I think mine was Punky Brewster, both the live action and cartoon. Glowmer rocked!


	16. Shades of Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally missed posting this chapter, my bad, sorry for the confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer, not me. No infringement is intended.*
> 
> Big thanks to those of you who continue to read this. Cheapest and best therapy, ever.
> 
> I cannot confirm or deny … but there may be a little lemon pucker in here. And I know the restaurant I refer to is in Seattle, not Forks, but this is fiction, changes of address are forgivable.   
> What to chat? Come find me on twitter @JanuarysFiction.

 

**Chapter 15**

**~~^~~**

 

**Shades of Blue**

  
**BPOV**  
  
I was glad I listened to Rose and Alice and bought that blue dress we saw in a window display while milling around Seattle. On the hanger it didn’t really look like much at all, but they convinced me to try it on. Lo and behold it looked fantastic on me. It hugged every curve with care and enhanced the slight feminine lines of my body. I felt like a real woman in that dress, and though I normally never would have spent that kind of money on a single item of clothing, it didn’t take much talk from the girls to convince me to leave with that dress.   
  
I slipped on a pair of silver kitten heels, not wanting to tempt fate, snagged my white shall off the back of the chair, and checked my hair and makeup before heading downstairs.  
  
“Whoa, Bella Bunny, you look smokin,’” Emmett said with a whistle.   
  
“Thanks, Em.”  
  
“Any idea where he’s taking you?” Rose asked, looking over my ensemble with appreciation.   
  
“Nope. He said dinner, so for all I know he’s taking me to McDonald’s.”  
  
“Oh, they’ve got that new slide now —the thing is _huge_ and it twists and— why are you both looking at me like that?” Emmett asked, his head cocked to the side. The child like excitement drained from his face.  
  
“Oh, baby …” Rose gave him a pathetic look and pat his head.   
  
His big, Carolina blue eyes shifted to the side, eying Rosie. He popped her the finger, and she smirked.  
  
“That playroom is awesome,” he muttered as he slouched and then turned his attention to the veggies he’d been steaming.   
  
I laughed and shook my head at the ape-child. “Enjoy your dinner and don’t wait up,” I said as I made my way from the kitchen.  
  
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Rose hollered after me.   
  
“That’s a short list,” I shot back with a chuckle.   
  
“Shut it bitch!”  
  
“Bite me, whore!” I called back just before shutting the front door behind me.  
  
I rang the bell for Edward’s loft and waited for him to buzz me in.  
  
My knees shook a little as he opened the door and I had the chance to take in his outfit...  and his form _in_ that outfit.  I could practically hear my lady-bits weep. My mouth might have unhinged just the slightest because he laughed, stepped forward, and with two gentle fingers, pushed it closed. I couldn’t have helped it if I tried. The man looked utterly edible.

 

Dark grey slacks and a slate blue cashmere V-neck sweater clung to his torso in the most enticing way. A little white peeked out the top of the V-neck, creating a nice contrast to the blue of the sweater. He really was something to look at, and look I did.   
      
“Sorry, didn’t mean to stare, but you look really... ” _edible, hot, fuckable_  “...handsome,” I said, settling on a rather generic word.   
      
“Hmm, well, Miss Bella, you look absolutely radiant in that dress. The blue does wonderful things to your skin,” he said, clearly interested in a very particular area of skin, mainly that of my chest.  
      
I felt a warm glow sweep down my body as he continued to stare…and lick his lips. I exhaled and smiled at him. “Thank you.”   
      
He shook his head and quietly started mumbling something to himself, something that was too low for me to make out.   
      
“Edward, what are you mumbling? Are you singing something?” I asked, stepping closer to him.   
      
“Medical terms,” he admitted with a slight smile.   
      
“And _why_ are we reciting medical terminology?”   
  
“Because the general public might not be too thrilled by the erection. People tend to take offense to that kind of thing,” he said with a sigh.  
  
I’d been so caught up in the features of his gorgeous face that, amazingly, I managed to miss the very prominent erection hiding behind those grey slacks.  
  
 _Sweet hell._    
  
I had to fight against the devil to keep my wits about me and _not_ mount him where he stood. A wonderful vision flickered behind my eyes; my dress hiked up to my waist, legs positioned on either side of his lap, his hands on my breast. _Yeah, we can totally skip dinner_.  
  
“Just let me set the alarm, and we can get going.”  
  
I watched as he pulled a plain white business card from his wallet and began typing in the numbers.  
  
“Having trouble remembering the code?” I asked.  
  
“Yeah. I don’t get how people can remember a handful of seemingly random digits.”  
  
I took the card from his hand, looked over the digits, and handed it back to him. “If I can remember that number at the end of the night, you owe me dessert.”   
  
He fumbled with his wallet and keys, still reciting medical terms.    
  
“Alright, Rain Man, let’s get going. We’ve got a reservation to make.” Edward held the door open for me, gesturing for me to go ahead of him. As I walked by, he placed his hand on the small of my back.   
  
I always thought that gesture to be rather romantic. It was such a small, simple thing and yet it created such a feeling of safety and security. Not at all grand, but romantic all the same.   
  
“Did you just call me _Rain Man_? As in Dustin Hoffman, autistic numerical mastermind, Rain Man?” I glared at him over my shoulder as the door shut behind us.   
  
“Yup, one and the same. Great movie, though I’ve never been much of a Tom Cruise fan. I’m not much for his acting, and I think he _might_ be a little unhinged.”  
  
“Right, so I don’t need to worry about you spouting cheesy lines from _Jerry McGuire_ then?” Although I thought the kid was cute as could be, I hated the movie. Moreover, I hated the overly romantic lines that seemed to become the tag-line for relationships everywhere. They were overused, played out, and just freaking annoying.  
  
“What, you don’t want to be completed?” Edward chuckled as we climbed into his car.   
  
“You _ever_ utter those words, and I swear I’ll vomit,” I barked in a playful tone, wagging my index finger at him.“So, where are you taking me, Dr. Cullen?”  
  
“There’s a great place called Ponti’s Seafood Grill. Have you been?”   
  
I shook my head as I flipped through the radio stations.   
  
We got on the road; the drive was quiet, but not the creepy quiet that made you want to check the car for weapons, restraints, or chloroform. Occasionally, I heard Edward hum along with the song playing on the radio. I felt at peace, something I hadn’t felt in a long time. When we reached the restaurant, he quickly jogged around the car to open the door for me. Taking my hand, he helped me from the car.   
  
“Reservation for Cullen,” Edward announced as we approached the hostess.   
  
“Good evening, Mr. Cullen. If you’ll just have a seat at the bar, your table will be ready any moment,” she said.

 

I didn’t miss the fact that she blushed at the sight of him, nor did I fail to miss the overly honey, sweet tone or her batting eye lashes. I kind of wanted to smack her a little, maybe spoon out her eyes and serve them over ice cream. She must have felt the evil eye I threw her way because her humdrum blue eyes met mine as she turned my way. I flashed her a tight lipped smile and squeezed Edward’s hand.   
  
“Thank you,” Edward said as she led us to the bar area.   
  
He pulled a high back stool out for me, took my hand as I hopped up onto it, and then perched himself on the stool to my right. “So, what was the death glare for?” he asked as I smoothed the skirt of my dress over my legs.  
  
“Huh?”   
  
“The evil ass glare you gave the hostess. I thought she was going to burst into flames back there, poor girl.”   
  
“I … ur …”   
  
“So what can I get you folks tonight?”   
  
_Saved by the bartender._  
  
Edward looked to me first and nodded for me to go ahead with my drink order. “Vodka and cranberry, please.”   
  
“What have you got on draft?” Edward asked.  
  
“Maritime Old Seattle Lager, Mac and Jack’s African Amber, and Pike Kiltlifter Scotch Ale,” he said, rattling them off like an old girlfriend’s phone number.   
  
“Pike Kiltlifter, please. I just like the name,” he admitted as the bartender walked away.  
  
I snickered and swung my feet back and forth.   
  
“So, you were about to tell me why you looked like you wanted to claw that girl’s eyes out,” he prompted.   
  
“Mmm,” I grumbled. I was busted and knew it. “Because I’m a jealous bitch, alright? I didn’t like the way she was looking at you.” I was pouting openly at that point, and I didn’t care that I looked like a spoiled little brat.   
  
“Looking at me _how_ , Bella?”   
  
The bartender came back with our drinks, and Edward was quick to pay him. I silently thanked him and hoped to heaven Edward would drop it. He really didn’t want to grapple with insecure Bella.  
  
I sipped at my drink, making myself busy, or at least I hoped to appear that way. That was when _Tish_ sauntered on over and announced that our table was ready. Yes, her fucking name was Tish; it said so on the little silver name tag that seemed to be resting rather comfortably above her left breast, her _very_ ample left breast. I hated Tish.   
  
Edward walked beside me snickering all the while. He seemed to find the grimace that had my face all screwed up pretty damn funny. I felt his hand roll in small circles on my back, and I almost forgave his smug smile.   
  
“Sam will be your waiter this evening. He’ll be along shortly, but in the meantime have a look at our menu and if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask,” Tish said. She threw a smouldering smile at Edward and passed me a glance that clearly said ‘ _fuck you snarkzilla,’_ and toddled off on her super high, tramp heels.   
  
“You want to rip her limb from limb, don’t you?” Edward asked with a chuckle.   
  
“Yes, I do.” I didn’t bother hiding that fact. He already called me out on my fiery glances.   
  
“Why?”   
  
_How to explain this without sounding like a needy, neurotic whiner? Hmm_.   _Screw it, no holds barred,_ I decided.   
  
“Because I’m insecure as hell, and she’s a big titted bombshell with a great ass and a stupid freaking name! And because she all but dropped to her knees in front of you…Tish, who the hell names their kid _Tish_?” I finished my rant and took a big sip of my cocktail.   
  
Edward laughed and placed his warm hand on my knee, stabilizing it. I didn’t realize that my leg had begun to bounce.

 

“Bet you wouldn’t be laughing too loudly if that fuck-hot bartender back there were looking at me that way?” I mumbled to my drink.

 

Edward grew quiet for a moment. “You’re right. I probably would have punched him in the face, ur...at the very least...stiffed him on his tip. I’m sorry, laughing wasn’t very nice of me.”He leaned in close to me and whispered, “Tish doesn’t hold a flame to you. Vapid isn’t my thing, regardless of bust size.” He kissed my forehead and casually picked up the menu.  
  
I took my cue from him and began perusing the dinner menu. Soon enough, Sam the waiter showed up, all smiles and dark hair. He was definitely a good looking man, few women would argue that point, but it was his eyes that had caught my attention; they were a deep, rich brown and full of wisdom and kindness.   
  
“Good evening, and welcome to Ponti Seafood Grill. I’m Sam,” he greeted us and went on to tell us about the specials that evening. Once Edward and I had placed our orders, he was quick to shuffle off toward the kitchen.    
  
“Tell me about your parents,” Edward said with genuine interest.   
  
“My parents separated when I was young, only three. They married young, at eighteen, and had me a year later. Forks was not where my mom, Renee, wanted to be. Charlie, on the other hand, never saw himself anywhere but here. My mom and I moved to Phoenix, and she began a new life. When I was fifteen, Renee met Phil, a minor league baseball coach. They hit it off in a big way and were married a year later. He’s about eight years younger than her, but he’s _exactly_ what she needs,” I explained.   
  
Even in my younger years, I never thought to factor age into a relationship, and so it never bothered me that my stepfather was so much younger than my mother.  “Renee is easy, I guess. She’s easy to talk to, easy to like. She’s very much a _go with the flow_ kind of person. She can be very sensible at times, but there’s a naivetéabout her, and she has _terrible_ organizational skills. She needs to be taken care of, and Phil does that. Before Phil, it was me. I did the shopping and made sure the bills were paid on time. Where she lacked in the domestic diva department, she _more_ than made up for in the emotional arena. Renee is a great listener, friendly, and loving and has the patience of a goddamn saint,” I finished with a chuckle.  
  
“Bella, were you a difficult child?” Edward asked in chiding tone.  
  
“Nope, not at all actually; Renee is a Kindergarten teacher,” I remarked.  
  
“Ah, well that _would_ definitely require some serious patience wouldn’t it? What about your father?”  
  
“When Phil’s job had him on the road more often than not, I decided to move back to Forks with my dad. Having grown up here, I’m surprised you’ve never met the Chief.”    
  
“Well, I never was much of a trouble maker, so I guess I really had no reason to have been introduced to your father. You were what sixteen, seventeen when you moved to Forks, right?”

 

“Yup,” I said as my eyes caught sight of _Tish_ again. She was leading a small party of people to the back of the restaurant.    
  
 _That’s right. Keep walking, sweetheart_.  
  
“Must have been a shock to the system. Warm, dry Phoenix compared to damp, gloomy Forks.”  
  
“It wasn’t pleasant, and I hated it for quite a while, but I loved getting to know my dad.”  
  
Our appetizer arrived, and for several moments we were quiet while we enjoyed the food.  We made small talk while we waited on the main dishes. Edward talked about work, and I talked about the house I’d just recently purchased. He volunteered to help me move.  
  
When dinner arrived, our conversation came in fits and starts in between mouthfuls of food. Edward told me about his family. His father, Carlisle, was a cardio-thoracic surgeon who had a serious love for all things candy and ‘80s music.

“I came home one afternoon, and there he was jammin’ out to _Angel_ by Aerosmith, belting out the lyrics, lollipop serving as a microphone. How I turned out stable, I still don’t know,” Edward said, shaking his head.

“He sounds like a great guy.”

“He is. Growing up with a man that not only loved his life, but also _enjoyed_ it, was a great thing. He taught me to enjoy the little things, to do what makes me happy. Medicine makes me happy, treating children makes me happy. Eating ridiculous amounts of salt and vinegar chips makes me happy. Seeing you smile like _that_... makes me happy.”

Of course, I flushed with embarrassment, or something akin to it. 

His mother, Esme, had been a pediatric nurse, but the after seeing one too many tiny lives lost, she went back to school and had become an interior designer. Something, that according to Edward, she was not only very good at but took great joy in doing.

“She’s got this incredible mind, and a terrible mouth,” he said with a grin. “I’m sure she thinks in pictures,” he explained.

“I haven’t got a creative bone in my body,” I admitted.

“Not true, you write,” he stated looking up from his plate.

“Yes, but that’s just words on a page. The visual stuff is lost on me.”

“Me too, sadly. It’s something I’ve always envied. You should see her paintings,” he gushed.

Edward was excited about their move back to Forks, and he explained that Esme’s company was internet based, so she was free to move as needed. Carlisle had been offered the Chief of Surgery position in Port Angeles. Within a month’s time, the Cullen clan would be together again.   
  
Edward was working at Forks Community Hospital three days a week and planned on opening a children’s clinic with his own practice. Currently, the area didn’t have such a centre, and several area doctors were interested in the project.    
  
“So, I heard a rather scandalous little story about you, Miss Bella,” Edward said as he sat his coffee cup back down on the table.  
  
“Scandalous? Um, up until _very_ recently, I don’t know that word would really have applied to me or any of my stories.” I was a little confused about whatever it was he was hinting at, but I’d bet every last pint of my own blood that Emmett was to blame.   
  
“Really? Not even say…in college? Maybe around _Halloween_ …” His voice ran off and he shot me that sexy, crooked grin.   
  
_Light bulb moment._  
  
“Emmett, that _mother sucker_!” I knew exactly which _incident_ Edward was alluding to, and my instinct to point the finger at Emmett was dead-on. I fully planned to sew that boy’s lips shut; no anaesthetic, no pre-warning of any kind.  
  
Edward threw his head back and laughed. I scowled and covered my red face with my hands, wishing so very much that the earth would open up and swallow me whole.     
  
“Oh my God,” I groaned. “I knew that would come back to bite me in the ass eventually.” I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to know what he thought of my little Katy Perry moment.  
  
“Hot little story. Actually, the first time I heard it—”   
  
“First time?” I growled, cutting him off.  
  
“Yeah. Em told me the next day, when he got home from Rose’s all hung over. Then he regaled me this afternoon when we met for lunch. I’m just sorry I wasn’t there to see it,” Edward said with serious grief in his voice.   
  
“Shut. Up. Edward.” I was still waiting for that hole in the earth’s surface as I fantasized about the rather large calibre needle I would use on Emmett’s loose lips.   
  
“Bella, it was college, years ago. You were both drunk. I couldn’t give a shit. I _really_ just wanted to see that look on your face.” He snickered.   
  
“I _swear_ I’m not a lesbian.” I pulled my hands from my face and stared headlong into my coffee cup.   
  
“Never thought it for moment, Bella. I’m no Kinsey, but I read a lot and every study that I’ve read in the last five years suggests that female sexuality is _far_ more fluid then we once thought. Which is why it meant _absolutely_ nothing to you to let Alice suck chocolate off your finger, and why, with a touch of alcohol in your system, a make out session with Rose didn’t seem like such a bad idea. Men, on the other hand…not as fluid; we don’t slide along that scale near as easily as women do.”   
  
He finished his rant, and I just stared at him. _Did he just boil down a misguided, same-sex experience to_ science _?_ _God, that’s... hot._  

**~~^~~**

When we arrived back at Edward’s, it was nearly midnight.  
  
He opened the door and the alarm buzzed. I quickly tapped in the security code before sliding out of my heels and placing them on the mat by the door.   
  
“You’re kidding me? You looked at that card for three seconds.” Edward’s face was full of awe.  
  
“9347716,” I rattled off, shrugging as if it were nothing at all to be able to recall such a thing. “I can also remember all the names of all my high school teachers, homeroom numbers, locker combinations, useless stats and way too many mundane facts.”  
      
He took my hand and yanked me toward the kitchen.   
  
“Amazing,” he mumbled under his breath. “I believe I owe you dessert, lovely.”

~~^~~

  
 **EPOV**  
  
I rummaged through my freezer, finding the French Vanilla ice cream I’d bought the other night on a whim. I pulled two bowls from the cabinet and was about to start doling out Bella’s reward when she stopped me.   
  
“What are you doing?” she asked.  
  
I thought it was pretty obvious, but perhaps that cocktail had more of an effect then I’d thought.  
  
“Well, Bella, the ice cream goes in the bowls…”  
  
“No, no, no…that’s not how you eat _Vanilla_ ice cream. You’re ruining it.” She looked up at me blinking like an owl.   
  
I stepped away from the counter and waved my hand for her to show me.  
  
She pushed the bowls aside, stuck the two spoons in the little bucket, and turned to me. “This is Vanilla ice cream, Edward, its simple; bowls just complicate it.” She scooped out a small mouthful of ice cream and popped into her mouth. Closing her eyes, she hummed.   
  
“If you let it melt in your mouth for minute,” she murmured as she opened her eyes to look at me, “it tastes _so_ much better.”   
  
“It’s just Vanilla.”  
  
“Yes, and it is honestly one of my favourite things on the face of the earth.” She backed herself up against the kitchen counter, placed her hands on either side of her, and pushed herself up onto it.   
  
I couldn’t help but notice her creamy thighs on display. Her dress had crept up a little, and I was pleased to see that Bella hadn’t made a move to correct it.   
  
Taking my spoon, I dug in, watching her all the while. I watched each spoonful pass through her lips. Each time she licked her lips and hummed in pleasure, my cock twitched.  
  
I put my spoon down on the counter next to her and moved to stand between her legs. My hands danced on the smooth, silky skin at her knees. I watched as she dragged her index finger through the surface of the ice cream.  
  
Bringing it to my mouth, she winked at me. I took her tiny finger into my mouth, licked it clean and then gently bit down on the tip.   
  
She moaned and slowly pulled it out, letting it trail down my chin and neck in a lazy line.   
  
I leaned in and let my hands drift up her bare legs just a little more. When my mouth connected with hers, a sharp breath of vanilla laced air pulled between us. I could taste the vodka still lingering on her tongue as well, but mixed with that was a taste that was purely Bella. It wasn’t something I could pinpoint; it was sweet and simple.  
  
Our mouths pushed, pulled, and shared in a sweet dance that quickly became fevered. Bella’s legs wrapped around my waist and drew me closer. She panted into my mouth when my hands pushed up under the hem of her dress.   
  
My mouth explored her soft neck and peppered quick, hot kisses on her bare shoulders.   
  
Her fingers raked through my hair.   
  
When my mouth found that delicate sweet spot just below her ear, I heard her release a shaky breath and I smiled. Sucking her earlobe into my mouth, she shuttered.   
  
“Mmm,” she hummed, her thighs flexing around me. Her back arched when I nibbled on the earlobe in my mouth. As though my body were on auto-response, I ground my hips against her soft frame.   
  
“Ugh, Edward,” she groaned.  
  
I took that as my cue to bring my mouth back hers, and she wasted no time sucking my tongue into her mouth. I wanted to consume her completely. I pushed my hands further up under her dress until they found thin, lacy material. I ran my thumbs over her.   
  
“Fuck, Bella, tell me it’s okay to do this, because I really don’t want to stop,” I pleaded, stilling my movements.   
  
“Yes, Edward, it’s okay.” Her breath was ragged and rough in my ear. Her arms reached around my shoulders and pulled me closer. “I told you I spoke to Mike, that I put him in a place that makes me most comfortable, and that’s behind me. Behind us…”   
  
I looked into her eyes and through the lusty glaze she had going, I saw sincerity.   
  
“I want you touch me, Edward. I want you to take away every hallow touch, every lie, every cold whisper.” Bella’s lips dotted soft kisses that ran from the corner of my mouth to my ear and when her tongue flicked out to taste my skin, my fucking eyes rolled back in my head.   
  
I stroked the pad of my thumb back and forth over the damp, lacy material, eliciting a beautiful kitten-like mewling sound.   
  
I moved both hands to her hips and tugged on her panties. She lifted herself enough so I could wiggle them past her bottom. I slid them off her legs and let them drop to the floor. My fingertips danced up her perfect ivory thighs, and when I reached the hem of her dress, she took my hands in hers and guided them upward, pulling the dress up as we went. Spreading her legs wider, she leaned back on the counter, and her arms pushed out behind her, propping herself up.   
  
With her chest pushed out like it was, I couldn’t help but pull the top of her dress down to expose her bare breasts.  “My god, Bella.” I sighed looking at her; she was without a doubt one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen.   
  
_Legs spread, chest exposed and heaving, face flushed with desire … Christ, she’s amazing._  
  
My hand moved up between her thighs, and I watched the changes in her expression when my fingers grazed her pussy.  I listened as her breath became lost somewhere in her lungs and her chest pulled forward.   
  
I gradually nudged my finger deep inside and her body shuddered in response. A long, airy moan escaped her. When the tiny bit of tension she’d held in her frame faded, I began moving my finger inside her. Slipping it in and out, I watched her glorious face. Her eyes were shut, her lips slightly parted, and every time I pushed back in, the corners of her eyes pinched tight.   
  
Once I had a good rhythm going, I added a second finger and listened to the gasp she let out.  
  
“Ahh, I missed this…Fuck, that _feels good_ ,” she said as she rode my fingers.   
  


**_~~^~~_ **

**BPOV**  
  
Edward’s fingers were inside me. _Oh my shit, I think my head might explode._ I hadn’t felt that good in so long that I never wanted it to stop. I wanted to feel him inside me always.   
  
He pushed and I groaned; he pulled out, and I whimpered. My arms began to shake from supporting myself, and I sat up and pulled my body closer to the edge and clung to Edward.   
  
His palm slid against me, and I rocked against it. The fiction was sublime.   
  
I could feel a heat building in me, and I thought I was close.   
  
Edward must have felt it too, because his fingers began a thrust and curl pattern that made a wicked sound pour from my mouth. My stomach began to tighten, and I could feel the rush that was only moments away.   
  
Half frantic, I pushed my tongue into Edward’s mouth and the hot kiss brought me over the edge. “Oh god, please…please,” I panted, though I had no idea what I was pleading for.   
  
I suddenly felt boneless, light and heavy all at once, and let my head fall forward onto Edward’s chest.  
  
“So beautiful,” he cooed as he kissed my temple.   
  
He gave me a few minutes to regain my composure and then went to the kitchen sink to wash his hands. “Stay put, I’ll be right back,” he said as he moved away from the kitchen.   
  
I could hear water running in the bathroom and in minutes Edward was back, a damp face cloth in his hands.   
  
“Will you let me?” he asked, looking at my lap.   
  
Normally, I would have blushed six shades of red, but I felt so safe here with him that I had no compunctions about allowing Edward to take care of me. I nodded.  
  
He brought the warm cloth up between my shaky legs and gently cleaned me, kissing my nose, my cheeks, and my lips as he did. When he was finished, he handed me my panties and helped me off the countertop.   
  
I started at him for moment, my lips pressed into a tight line. I was sure I looked a little baffled, but I couldn’t help it.   
  
“What’s the screwed up face for?” he asked.  
  
I looked pointedly at the bulge in his pants and gave a slight nod.   
  
“Nope, that was about you,” he answered my silent question with a smile.   
  
“So you don’t want me to…?”   
  
“Oh, believe me, Bella, I want you to, just not right now. I wanted you to enjoy feeling good for now, without expecting to have to reciprocate. I don’t want to take anything from you, and I don’t want you to feel like you owe me. That felt good, Bella. You felt good.”   
  
And now I wanted to crawl inside his beautiful skin and lick him from the inside. _Yeah, that sounds a little odd... Lick him from the inside? Really?_  
  
I readjusted my dress, and with Edward leading the way, we went and sat down on the couch, curled up in each other’s embrace. I looked out the long window; the night sky was a deep shade of midnight navy, and the few stars that could be seen stood out in dramatic contrast.   
  
His hand ran up and down my leg, and my fingers curled and crawled along his scalp. I could have sat there with him like that forever.   
  
“I’ve always enjoyed the stillness of the night. Even as a child, I never feared it. It seems so comforting to me…this big dark sky, stretched out and blanketing everything we see. Tanya was always more of a morning person. She loved that every day came with a new opportunity.” He shifted in the seat and searched my face, looking for something.   
  
“Does it bother you that I talk about her so often?”  
  
“No, Edward. You loved her, you miss her.”   
  
“I see her face all the time, smell her in the air around me. And …” He looked away, but I was sure I saw a hint of shame on his face.   
  
“What, Edward? It’s okay, you can tell me.” I touched his face, bringing it back to mine. I kissed his nose. I wanted him to know that he was free to tell me whatever he felt he needed to.   
  
“Bella, what would you say if I said I heard her voice?”  
  
“I can still imagine my grandfather’s voice when I’m doing something particularly stupid,” I offered.   
  
“No, I mean, I _hear_ her. Like she’s right there standing next to me, whispering in my ear.” Worried creases formed on his face. “It happened quite a bit after she died. And until now, it had been awhile.”  
  
“Until _now_?” I questioned.   
  
“In the car on the way to Seattle, I heard her then…and once or twice more since.”  
  
“What does she say?”  
  
He looked at me as though he were utterly shocked by my response to his admission.   
  
“I tell you I hear the voice of my dead fiancé, and you want to know what she said?” His tone was completely unbelieving. _Was he looking for me to admonish him, to belittle him?_   
  
“Yes, I’m asking you what she says to you, Edward.” I gently swept my knuckles across his cheek bone and sighed.  
  
He heaved a long, thoughtful sigh of his own before he began. “She talks about you.”  
  
“Me? Why? I mean, that makes no sense.”  
  
“I don’t see a trace of disbelief, _until_ I mention the fact that the voice I hear is talking about _you_. Perfect.” He shook his head and kissed my temple.   
  
“Alice dreams about the future. Jazz is probably an empath. So you hear voices. Big deal. As long as she’s not telling you to hack me up into teeny bits, we’re good.” If hearing Tanya helped him to move through life, who was I to judge. When my grandmother died, I had dreams about her for months, and I swore I saw her in the face of every elderly woman I’d seen for weeks. Edward had said it perfectly: grief was a bitch.  
  
“No, nothing like that at all, I promise.” He chuckled and I felt his body relax beneath me. “At first it was just my name. Like she was trying to get my attention. Then she told me that I didn’t see you clearly. And at the time, I don’t think I truly had.”  
  
“What do you mean?”   
  
“When we met, I wanted you, immediately, and that shocked me. It was like I couldn’t control myself, and I was kind of harbouring a little hostility toward to you because of it. And that fucking _zinging_ thing! I couldn’t figure it out, it annoyed me. I felt like an absolute schizophrenic! One minute my brain was bombarding me with wicked fantasies, and the next I was convinced I wanted nothing to do with you. I wanted to jump from that car and never look at you again. I didn’t understand why I wanted you so much.”  
  
“I’m glad you didn’t jump.” I stroked his face again, pressing my lips to his softly.  
  
“She was right, and when I started to let myself feel what I did for you and push away the confusion surrounding it, I saw what I think I she meant for me to see…an absolutely beautiful woman, who has so much to offer.”  
  
My heart felt like it might burst clear out of my chest. I sat perfectly still and took in the moment. When I didn’t comment, Edward continued.  
  
“Then she asked if I _recognized_ you? I’m still not sure what she means yet, but I’m willing to stick around to find out.”  
  
“Edward, does being with me make you feel guilty?”   
  
“No. Although, I will admit to feeling guilty about comparing you to Tanya. You are by no means the same girl, and it’s not fair for me to do that—in any context. She’s still so close to the surface, you know? She was all I knew for years, and it’s an easy trap to fall into. I promise that I feel nothing but honoured to be with you.”  
  
We sat quiet, curled up on his couch for another hour before I decided to call it a night. Edward walked me to my car and placed a loving kiss on my lips before pushing my door closed.   
  
I drove home with his breath in mouth, his honey smooth voice coating my thoughts, and the tingle of his hands his still delighting my skin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their first official date. Whatya think?   
> READER POLL: So who’s reading what? Anything out there you think I should be reading?


	17. Hand Over the Receiving Blanket and Go Get our Balls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer, not me. Infringement is not my intention. I also have no intention whatsoever, of kicking my newest addiction, Jelly Belly Dip’s. Minty, chocolatly frickin’ heaven!*

**Chapter 16**

**~~^~~**

**Hand over the Receiving Blanket and go Get Your Balls**

  


**RPOV**

Friday night my kitchen looked like the sugar shack exploded. Bella had always had a knack for baking and if I wasn’t so fucking selfish, I’d have encouraged her to try her hand at professional baking. But she was good at what she did, and I wasn’t about to give her up.

Fondant, icing, and cake mix was strewn from one side of my kitchen to the other. While the cake baked, Bella worked on getting the decorative components together that would be placed on the cake first thing in the morning, after it had time to cool off. The rest of the evening was spent chopping and preparing the trays of typical baby shower stuff-your-face foods.  

At six in the morning I heard Bella’s alarm sound off. I also heard the unholy grumble that followed it. I couldn’t be sure, but it sounded a lot like, “I don’t care that the windows closed, I’ll toss your ass out it anyway.”  

_ Six AM on a Saturday, chick’s nuts .  _

At twenty to seven more grumbling wafted through my bedroom door, and it was fairly clear to discern that time. “Hey, Beauty Queen, a little help.”

“I think she means you,” I mumbled, nudging Emmett’s still form next to me.

“Oh, I think not, baby. Nice try.” And with that the fucker stole my covers and swiped my pillow all in one swift move.

_Yeah, he’s gonna pay for that.  
_  
Cold and a little annoyed, I rolled my beauty queen ass out of bed, pulled on a pair of cotton yoga pants and a tank top.

“Bella Bear, you’d better have coffee down there,” I hollered from the bathroom. I heard Em groan, and the sound brought a twisted smile to my face.

What I found in the kitchen made me crack a brand new grin. Bella had food covering every available surface of the kitchen. “It looks like Betty Crocker tossed her cookies,” I commented as Bella reached for the hand held blender.

“Smells like it too,” she giggled. “Can you do me a favour and take the sheets of fondant out of the fridge while I finish up this dip?”

“Sure thing, boss lady.”

Bella doled out a few orders about what was going in the slow cooker, while she placed colourful dots on the cake. When Emmett finally decided to grace us with his crotch scratching presence, he too was put to work. Not before washing those nut grabbing paws of his though.

The trays, dips, salads, and various finger foods were ready to go. I went about cleaning the house and decorating while Bella got ready to pick up Ang for her hair appointment.

“Out now!’ I yowled as Emmett swooped in for one more olive.

“Ow! Bella, she pinched me!” he bellowed when my grabby little fingers found purchase on his arm.

“Stop eating off the trays, Emmett,” Bella said from somewhere upstairs.

“Ha ha,” I pointed my index finger in his goofy face and stuck out my tongue.

“Okay, I’m gone. Eddie and me are going to do a little golfing, while you hens cackle away.”

_Knock…Knock._

“The devil must have heard his name, “ I said, walking with Emmett toward the door.

Bella beat us there and swung the door open. I watched as she lit up like a wino on New Year’s Eve.

Edward stepped in, wrapped his arms around her slight waist, and pulled her in for a kiss.

“No sucking face in my house!” Emmett said with a chuckle.

“Hi,” Edward whispered to Bella. She whispered back and gave him a quick peck to the cheek as she stepped back.

“Morning, Rose,” he greeted.

“Morning, Doc. Do me a favour, and take my fucking _manolescent_ husband off my hands.”

“Picking at the trays?” Edward guessed looking at Emmett with a knowing grin stitched on his face.

“She pinched me,” he whined, again.

“I’ll take that as confirmation,” Edward said.

“So, we can come back around four, right?” Em asked, pushing his feet into his over-sized shoes.

“Yes, four o’clock,” I confirmed, and my tone _may_ have been a little mommy meets kindergarten teacher. That _might_ have been what earned me a huff and an eye roll from my husband.

“Alright Mommy...” Emmett mumbled under his breath.

I snorted. “Edward, he’s a little grumpy because he hasn’t been fed yet, get some food into the boy. Not too much sugar, though, wouldn’t want him bouncing around the golf course,” I explained, with a wide grin.

“Whatever, woman. Kiss me goodbye and get back to blowing up those balloons!” He scooped me up in his arms, and tipped me back slightly, laying a very Cary Grant type kiss on me, before nearly dropping me on the foyer floor.

~~^~~

**EMPOV**  
  
“So, what the fuck do they do at a baby shower?” I asked as we pulled into the Peninsula Golf Club.  
  
“Not a clue, man. Bella mentioned games, and food, and presents,” Edward said.  
  
“Games? What kind of games?” I cocked my head to the side and looked at Edward and Ben.  
  
“Angie said they guess the weight, sex and time of birth, and they have prizes for that stuff after the baby is born. There’s a baby bingo game, apparently … and something to do with the size of her tummy,” Ben explained, looking about as perplexed as I felt.   
  
“So, wait, they place bets on when the baby will be born?” I asked. ‘Cause, really, what the shit did I know about this stuff?  
  
“Yeah, and the winners will get a prize, I guess. Gift certificates for some salon. Bella picked them up Thursday,” Edward said.   
  
“Oh.” I just shrugged and let the subject drop.   
  
We got out on to the green and settled into our game. “You ready for the whole baby thing, man?” I asked Ben, as Edward lined up his shot.   
  
“Been waiting for this half my life, Em.” The smile that was plastered to his face would have made me dry heave if it didn’t look so sincere.   
  
“So you’re not scared then?”    
  
 _Rosie wants babies, and the idea of her pregnant with my child is awesome, but we’re talking live humans here. I can’t hit delete and start over if I mess up. What if I forgot to feed it? Or forgot it at the grocery store?_  
  
Ben looked at me with a strange smirk on his face. “Terrified, man. But, aside from Angela, I don’t think I’ve wanted anything more in my entire life.”  
  
I nodded and watched quietly as Edward took his shot. We piled into the caddy and scuttled off toward the next hole. “Help me unravel the pregnant woman, Ben. Is it really as bad as movies and TV make it out to be?” I was curious to know if living with a pregnant woman was the hell it was often portrayed as. I wanted to know what I had in store for me if Rose and I had a baby.   
  
“At first it was fucking horrific, dude. She was puking _all the time_ …I don’t understand why they call it _‘_ _morning sickness’_ , that shit was happening all the time. And the mood swings, _sweet lord_. She could go from zero to peeved in a split second. And horny…yeah,” he said, nodding.   
  
“Horny?” I asked. Perhaps getting Rose pregnant wasn’t such a bad idea.   
  
“Hormone changes cause the mood swings and the increased libido,” Eddie explained, all clinical faced.   
  
“So there are perks?” I said, contemplating.  
  
“Horny wife with bigger boobs, and a beautiful round body. Yup, pregnancy has it’s perks. But the big payoff’s just around the corner.” Ben’s face got all dreamy and shit, and I got caught up in the whole bigger boobs thing.   
  
We climbed out of the caddy and Ben began to line himself up, while Edward and I stood back.   
  
“You much of a family man, Eddie?” I asked. I knew he loved kids, but liking them and wanting them were two different things.   
  


~~^~~

**RPOV**  
  
“Bells, that cake is amazing. It must have taken hours!” Angela commented while inspecting the cake Bella had indeed spent hours making.   
  
Bella just shrugged it off, and gave us polite little smile.   
  
“Can I do anything? Make the punch maybe?” Angela asked, eyeing all the trays and food.  
  
“Nope, you just relax and have a good time,” Bella said, tucking a stray curl behind her ear.   
  
Angela’s eyes began to water and both Bella and I stepped forward, worried that she might be uncomfortable. “What’s the matter?” Bella asked, her voice heavily laced with concern.   
  
“This is too much,” she sobbed, gesturing wildly with her hands. “I’d have been happy with Kentucky Fried Chicken and few balloons. But—” her voice broke and she swiped at a tumbling tear.   
  
“But, it’s nothing more than what you deserve, little Momma,” Bella whispered, and leaned in to kiss the top of her friends head.    
  
I grabbed the Kleenex box and offered it to Ang, smiling. “She’s right,” I said, patting her hand. The door bell shocked us from our little moment, and Bella flew down the hall to answer it.   
  
“I know this isn’t easy for her,” Ang admitted, looking up at me through damp eye lashes.   
  
“She hides it well, though, doesn’t she?” It was never a question as to whether or not Bella was happy for Angela, she was thrilled. But, she was also secretly envious. Something Bella would never admit to in a million fucking years. She wanted what Angela had, a happy marriage and family. I knew it was difficult for Bella, watching her friends growing belly; wishing she too were capable of carrying a life inside of her.   
  
I also knew, sure as the sun didn’t fuckin’ shine on this gloomy town, that she felt immensely guilty for way she felt. She hated that she felt even an ounce of jealously. That would be why the chick spent hours yesterday preparing, and why my ass was rudely woken up at the butt crack of dawn this morning. It was Bella’s way of making amends.   
  
A loud voice drifted into the room. “Okay, where’s the giant pregnant lady?” Leah Black said just as she walked into the kitchen. She walked over to Ang and wrapped her arms around her, giving her a warm hug. “You look beautiful,” she said, eyeing Ang.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, all pretty and glowy and all that stuff,” Ang joked. “How’s work?”  
  
“Good, good. Long hours sometimes, but I love it.” Leah was an engineer of some sort. She’d beat out a long list of applicants for a position with the city. She was good at what she did, and she didn’t mind people knowing it.   
  
Over the next twenty minutes or so, guests began to fill the house and we moved to living room. Things seemed to be going rather smoothly until Renata Mortise opened her huge, ancient fucking trap.   
  
“You know, Bella, my daughter in-law said the most curious thing earlier this week.”   
  
Bella paled, cleared her throat, and turned her attention to the old bag propped up in the comfy leather chair.   
  
“She said she saw you out with a very handsome man. A man that was most certainly not Michael. Your husband.”  
  
 _Yeah, you wouldn’t be sitting there looking so fucking smug if you knew what my husband did to me in that very chair ; you old bitch. _  
  
All eyes turned to Bella, some because, like me, they knew the story and were concerned for her, others were curious as to why Bella would be out and about with someone other than her husband. Bella pushed herself up in her chair, straightened her back, and took a good, deep breath.  
  
“Mrs. Mortise, I beg your pardon, but I have to say I don’t appreciate your tone, or thinly veiled accusation.”  
  
 _Oh shit._  
  
“But, let me get make this clear, before you go and pump the rumour mill full of _lies_. Michael and I are no longer together. I’ve filed for divorce, and the man she saw me with was Edward. And before you jump to the narrow and simple conclusion that adultery was involved, let me also make it clear that that was _not_ the case. This was mutual.”  
  
“Seems a little quick, I mean it was only a few weeks ago that I’d heard you’d separated.” The crone tried to make her face look imploring and not at all judgemental. She failed.   
  
“Yes, meeting Edward wasn’t planned, but that’s sometimes just the way life goes. I mean, I’m sure you hadn’t meant to get pregnant at sixteen, but it had happened all the same.”  
  
 _Oh. Shit._  
  
“Oh, well, I hardly think—”   
  
“Who wants cake?” I shouted over the awkward silence that had spread through the room.   
  
“Ooh, cake, yes please!” Ang clapped her hands and licked her lips.   
  
Bella and I retreated to the kitchen to slice up the cake. Her footfalls were heavy and annoyed. I could hear her muttering under her breath. When I reached the counter, I whirled on my heels. “You want to sprinkle a little rat poison on that wrinkly bitch’s piece of cake?” My eyes were wide, and I had a manic smile glued on my face.  
  
Bella giggled. “Nah, she’s not exactly a light weight, moving the body is more effort than I’m willing to put in.”   
  
“Fucking miserable old crone. I have no idea how she’s managed to keep that husband of hers. Maybe she’s heavy in to the voodoo. Would explain why he’s stayed for fifty-five years.”  
  
I cut the cake and dished it out, Bella placed a napkin and fork with each slice.   
  
“How did she even get an invite?” I queried.   
  
“She worked with Angie’s mom at the bank.”   
  
“Right.” I nodded my head and placed another triangle of cake on a pink and blue paper plate.   
  
Bella and I each took two plates and made our way back to the front room. Bella stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the scandalous whispers of Renata.  
  
“She can’t have babies. I mean half the town knows she was going to Seattle for those procedures. Poor Michael,” she lamented.   
  
Bella turned into the room slowly, put the two plates down on the coffee table and without a word turned back around and left the room. I handed Emily and Heidi each a plate, pulled down at the hem of my blouse, and torn into Mrs. Mortise.   
  
“Poor Mike, _really_?” I roared. All eyes shot to me. Angela and Leah looked panicked, like they’d been caught in a storm. “You know exactly shit about Mike and Bella, Mrs. Mortise. Bella gave him more than ten years of her life, and he took it without a second fucking thought. Bella left Mike because he’s _gay. She left_ because he used her and lied to her. Poor Mike! He doesn’t deserve a shit’s worth of sympathy. And I’m sorry, Ang, but I’ve had about as much as I can take, and since this is my house, I’m going to have to ask you leave, Renata. Now. Take your slander and peddle it elsewhere, you evil old vulture.”   
  
She looked to Angela and her mother. Both nodded in agreement, both wore the same thin, tight lips and stern faces. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Mortise, but I have to agree with Rosie. You were out of line, and I won't tolerate you talking about Bella like that,” Mrs. Webber said, nodding toward the door. Though her voice was soft, and patient; it left no room for further discussion.   
  


~~^~~ 

**EPOV**   
“Am I a family man? Yes, most definitely.” I watched as Ben’s ball cut hard to the left … so very far from where it needed to be. I snickered, golf was not Ben’s game.    
  
I hadn’t wanted to leave Bella this morning, I could see the tension in her body. Though she hadn’t said anything —and likely won't—playing hostess for Angela’s baby shower was emotionally taxing on Bella. I wanted to assure her that everything would work out, but I couldn’t. Unlike the amazing all seeing pixie, I had no way of knowing if it would work out. I wanted to give her everything she longed for. Everything she thought she could never have.    
  


~~^~~

  
“She’s kind of a stubborn woman, eh?” I asked Em, as I shoved a forkful of salad in my mouth.  
  
“Who, Bells?” he mumbled around the pasta.  
  
“Yes. She doesn’t think it’s fair that I waste my opportunity to become a father on this relationship. She thinks I should turn tail and run, find someone who can give me what I want.”  
  
“What do you think?” Emmett asked.   
  
“I think she’s ridiculous. If that were _all_ I wanted, then maybe I’d be more hesitant about being with Bella, but _she’s all_ I want. The rest is secondary.” Though I’d known Bella for only a few weeks, the idea of her not being in my life was absurd to me now. Since that first date, a week ago, she’d wrapped herself around me so completely that I’d no longer felt whole without her. Children, whether born to us, or adopted would just be an added bonus.  
  
“So, now that we’ve stuffed our faces, gentlemen, should we head home and see what our women have been up to all afternoon?” Ben suggested, wiping his mouth with the red napkin and the tossing it down on his empty plate.

~~^~~

**BPOV**  
“That’s the last of them,” I heard Rose say as she closed the front door behind her.   
  
Angela huffed a sigh of relief and rubbed her swollen belly, while Mrs. Webber tucked another tupperware container into the fridge. “Well, Bella, Rose, you out did yourselves. That was wonderful,” she said as she popped another cheese cube in her mouth.  
  
I snorted. Wonderful is wasn’t. I’d managed to make a fool out of myself in front of no less then thirty women. _Way to go_.   
  
“I see that look on your face, Isabella Marie, stop it,” Angela demanded.   
  
“I’m sorry, Ang I—”  
  
“Don’t finish that sentence, Bella”—Angela warned—“Rose, gag her, quick, she’s about to say something unbelievably stupid.”  
  
“I made a fool out myself, I ruined your shower.” I spoke the words quickly, and hid my face in my hands.   
  
“See, unbelievably stupid!” Ang tossed her hands in the air and they landed with a slap on the kitchen counter.   
  
“You’ve done no such thing, Bella. Michael is the only one that should be ashamed. Shame on him for putting you in such a position to begin with,” Mrs. Webber said with an adamant nod.   
  
“But I—”  
  
“Put that backward old twat in her place! The look on her face was fucking priceless,” I interrupted.  
  
Angela and Mrs. Webber nodded in agreement.   
  
_Her shocked face really was worth it, I suppose._  
  
“You know, every morning when she’d walk into the bank, I’d hear the wicked witch’s theme song from the Wizard of Oz playing in my head. _‘_ _I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!_ ’ That women radiates evil.”   
  
We all had a good laugh at that and I knew I’d never be able to look at Mrs. Mortise again without hearing that damned theme music.    
  
“What’s so funny in here?” Emmett’s voice broke through our giggles.   
  
“The wicked witch of Forks was sent home without any cake!” Rose doubled over laughing. “Fucking priceless …Wish I had my camera …Oh god. Bella set her right.” Rose regained a little composure.  
  
Angela had tears running down her cheeks, and Mrs. Webber had her legs squeezed together so tight, I was sure she’d already peed a little.   
  
“Ya, but you’re the one that sent Old Wrinkly Twat packing,” I pointed out.   
  
“You kicked who’s twat from where?” Ben asked scratching his head, looking at Angie’s pink puff face.   
  
“Mrs. Mortise”—Ang explained—“got a little out of line, Bella put her right and Rose 86’ed her.”   
  
“I hate that woman, she once told me that it wasn’t ‘natural for someone of my _heritage_ ’  to be fat. I was seven years old, and yeah a little rolly; but damn it I was cute!” Ben’s face scrunched up into a grimace. It looked weird on his face, and I struggled to remember the last time I’d seen him look out of sorts.   
  
Edward came to stand next to me, stroking my arm. “She pretty much told my mother that she was a horrible parent,” Edward said looking down at me. “I got sent home from school once. I’d pulled an Elliot and tried to free the frogs. My teacher wasn’t too pleased, and I was sent home. That weekend I went grocery shopping with my mom, and she rolled on over with her cart and said that she wasn’t surprised by my suspension, given my mothers _relaxed parenting style_.”  
  
“She didn’t,” Mrs. Webber could hardly contain the shock in her voice.   
  
“She did, and my mother told her exactly were she could park that shopping cart of hers.”  
  
We all chuckled at that. _Sounds like Mrs. Cullen is a little bit of a fire cracker_.   
  
Emmett helped Ben load the trunk and backseat of Mrs. Webber’s car and when the last decoration was taken down, I collapsed on the couch next to Edward. It’d been a long day and I wanted nothing more then to curl up in bed and sleep for a million years, at least.   
  
“What were those round, cotton looking pad things for?” Emmett asked as he dropped to the chair across from me.  
  
“Their breast pads,” I explained. “For leakage.”  
  
His dark brows furrowed and then his eyes widened. “Your boobs _leak_?”  
  
“Yup,” Rose and I said in unison.   
  
“That’s messed up,” he said, looking a down at his own chest with an odd look on his face.   
  
_Yeah, don’t think too hard on that, ya might burst a brain cell or two._  
  
I shook my head and Rose rolled her eyes.   
  
With the evening news playing in the background, we talked about the various gifts Angela received and then decided on a movie and leftover cake for dinner, because damn it we deserved it!  
  
“Stay?” I asked Edward.   
  
He nodded and followed me upstairs.    
  
“Seems that baby showers really take it out of you. You looked wiped, baby.”  
  
“I feel wiped,” I said with a groan. I riffled through the drawers for a pair of lightweight cotton sleep pants and my ratty old R.E.M. t-shirt. This was my period gear. My need for comfort right now far out weighed my need to impress Edward with my extensive lingerie collection.   
  
“Well, go get changed and if you ask really nicely, I’ll rub your feet; sound good?”   
  
Now _that_ brought a solid smile to my face. I stripped, washed my face, pulled my hair up in a messy bun, and then climbed into my comfortable, old as hell Pj’s.   
  
“I have to say, I’m partial to this look on you. Don’t get me wrong, topless Bella is a better Bella, but this is just …you,” Edward said as peeled his socks off.   
  
“I’m glad you approve,” I teased. I crawled onto the bed and leaned my back against the headboard.   
  
I watched, as he stepped out of the light khaki shorts, folded them and neatly placed them on the arm of the chair before pulling the dark green polo shirt over his head and tossing that down too. Clad in nothing but black, boxer briefs, he sat near the end of the bed.   
  
And I cursed my body for having the audacity to menstruate. _Christ in a cookie jar, he’s all kinds of yummy, and you’re benched for three more days. Perfect!_  
  
I plopped my feet into his lap and shot him a cheesy grin. He made no move to touch my feet, he just stared at me. “Oh, right. Edward” —I sang his name in a playful tone—“would you please rub my feet? Pretty please, cherry and all.” I wiggled my toes at him and grinned. _Oh, there’s flirty Bella again. Well hello darlin’. Really too bad neither one of us is getting anything more than foot rub tonight._  
  
He made like he was contemplating the request him _ing_ and huh _ing_. He was playing it up hoping I would beg. Begging wasn’t beyond me, but I had a better weapon in my arsenal.  
  
I stretched and shifted and pushed my foot gently against his crotch, and as expected Edward tensed. I ran my toes up and down his inner thigh and then up the centre of those black briefs.   
  
He shuddered.   
  
“I asked nicely,” I said coyly when he still hadn’t picked up my foot. I looked at him and his eyes were fixed on my tiny foot. His expression made me laugh; he looked as though he were torn between allowing me to continue with the game I’d started, or actually massaging my feet for me.  
  
Finally he spoke, “That you did, Isabella.”  He picked up one bare foot and pushed his thumbs into the arches, working small circles up and down my foot.  
  
I may have moaned a little at the sensation. I may have bitten my lips. Whatever it was I’d done earned me a chiding from Edward. “You need to stop that, Bella.”  
  
He moved to the other foot, and worked his magic on that one for a few moments before he crawled his way up the bed to lie next to me. When he was comfortable, he pushed my hair to one side exposing my neck.  
  
I closed my eyes and let his warm breath wash over my neck and throat, effectively pushing up goose bumps all over my body and causing me to shiver. I felt his hot lips connect with my skin as he planted two soft, wet kisses on me.  
  
“If you roll over onto your tummy, I’ll do your back too …because you asked so nice.”  
  
I slid down in the bed and flipped onto my stomach and shifted once or twice to get comfortable.   
  
Edward straddled my upper thighs, pushed my top up and began digging his fingertips into my malleable flesh. Again, I may have moaned. Couldn’t help it.  
  
“When I came to pick up Emmett this morning, I could see how tense you were. The baby shower was difficult, wasn’t it?”   
  
“I love her, she has to know how much I love her and that I’m happy for her.” My voice came out half muffled and a tad strained.   
  
“No one doubts that, Bella.”  
  
“It just hurts that everyone around me is getting what they want, and I’m not.” It was the first time I’d really said anything out loud. It made my gut twist, and conversely made me feel lighter for having said it.   
  
“You’re getting some of what you want,” Edward reminded me with a whisper at my ear. His body was pressed against me and it took every ounce of will-power I had not to push back against him. “You’ve got me, and I promise I’ll give you everything I am, Isabella.”   
  
Tears poured down my face, soaking the pillow. The feeling that bloomed inside me was both immensely terrifying and oddly euphoric all at once. I knew this feeling, but the intensity of it was all new. It was as though everything in my body suddenly fell into its natural position. I pulled in a deep, sharp breath, and my chest heaved.   
  
“Bella, are you okay, did I hurt you?” Edward’s voice was swimming with such concern that it made my little heart clench.   
  
I rolled over to look at him and smiled a soft, but shaky smile. “You didn’t hurt me, Edward. I don’t think you ever could.”  
  
“Then why are you crying, pretty girl. Did I say something wrong?” He wiped the tears away with gentle fingertips and rested his hands on either side of my rib cage. His thumbs worked in soothing circles.   
  
“No, Edward. You said something very right.”   
  
“I don’t understand…Are those happy tears then?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
His head cocked, much like a dog uncertain of the command. I decided to throw him a bone. Saying what I was feeling was scary as hell, but it felt right, so I battled it out with that smaller part of me that wanted to stitch my lips shut.  
  
“Edward, I think I’m falling in love with you.”   
  


~~^~~ 

**EPOV**  
I sat there, staring at her, her beautiful face stained with tears. I watched as emotions fluttered across her face. First cognizance, and for a moment fear, then worry and panic took over her features and I couldn’t imagine why she would be looking at me like that. Like she broke me.   
  
_Did she break me?_  
  
“Edward, say something before I freak out and punch you in the chest!” Bella demanded, her lips set in a thin line; an angry line.   
  
_Angry? Wait, no why is she pissed?_  
  
“I…you look mad. Why are you mad?”   
  
“Oh, _for the love of peanut butter_ , Edward! You’ve been sitting there staring at me like you’re trying to decipher Da Vinci’s freaking code.You haven’t said a word! Just sitting there staring for like the last five minutes. Shit like that does wonders for a girls heart,” she said while she pushed against my chest.   
I moved so that I was sitting beside her on the bed.   
  
_She loves me…Bella is in love with me. And here you are staring off into space, all catatonic looking. Yeah, no wonder she looks like she could breath fucking fire. She declares her feelings, and you’re stricken stupid._  
  
I chanced a look at Bella and her eyes were narrow and focused on me like a laser point. She was looking at me as though she were trying to will some type of reaction from me. _That, or she’s trying like the devil to melt your slow as fuck face off. Speak you idiot!_  
  
“I …You …You’re in love with me?” I finally manage to conjure up a few words. They were ineffectual and more to the point, they were not what I meant to say at all. But my brain and my mouth seem to have lost that much needed connection. _Communication breakdown.  Led Zeppelin? Really?_  
  
“I said I _think_ I’m falling in love with you, although I’m now rethinking that statement,” she said with bitter tone. Her arms crossed over her chest. She was pouting, and it was so fucking adorable that I had to chuckle. _Wrong move._   
  
Her face dropped and she turned her back to me. _Oh, now you’ve really stepped in it, you tool. Fix it. Now!_  
  
“No, no, Bella. I didn’t…I’m not laughing at you. Well, not really. It’s the pout you had on your face just now, it was so cute, and my stupid mouth…I’m sorry. Please turn and look at me. I’m sitting here practically naked, for crying out loud. Naked and stupid with a big, dumb mouth and slow ass brain.”   
  
I prayed she would turn around. I didn’t like that disconnection between us. I didn’t like that the electric surge that had always been there, felt weak, strained.   
  
Slowly she turned and lay on her back, she gave me a quick glance and then looked up to the ceiling. In that second I could see just how much it had cost her say what had out loud. She wasn’t expecting to feel that way, but she did.   
  
“Bella, when you said that you thought you loved me my brain shut down. I froze and I’m sorry,” I tried to explain.   
  
“I scared you, and you weren’t ready, and you don’t feel that way. It’s okay Edward, you don’t have to sit here and explain that to me.”   
  
I wanted to pull out all my hair.  
  
 _“... She doesn’t understand, Edward. Tell her…”_ Tanya’s voice pushed through my swirling thoughts.   
  
I nodded.  
  
“Bella, you didn’t scare me. I froze because those are big, heavy words and I didn’t think I’d ever hear them again. You took me by surprise, and my brain went dumb, and my mouth went dumber. Telling someone you love them isn’t an easy or light task, and I’m sorry I made you regret it, even for a moment. I don’t know if I’m ready to say that to you yet, because like I’d said those words are heavy. You’re so much braver than I am. But I meant what I said, I’ll give you everything I am. And when I’m ready to say those words, they’ll come easy and they’ll be honest.”   
  
Tears were back in her eyes again, only this time her face played new emotions. Understanding, forgiveness, joy, and at last, adoration. I wonder if she knew how much her face really showed?   
  
“I never expected you say it back, that’s not fair. But when you said nothing, I thought that maybe there was nothing there, just empty words and more hollow touches. I needed you know how I felt, because it felt like a lie _not_ to say it, but I didn’t expect the same from you.”   
  
She brushed her fingernails up and down my thigh and then took my hand in hers. That hum was back, and it moved in strong pulses between us. I never wanted to lose that feeling again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright my lovelies, time for a little fan love. Twifan1986, LilCullen454, Cullengirl08, IssaBissa, olsson82, and Trysh … Thank you for your support, you’re all fantastic!
> 
> ~MissJanuary


	18. Sing Life Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing.*
> 
> Hey there shiny happy people, thanks for joining me for yet another chapter, and another round of purging. Love ya oodles and if you wanna chat come find me on twitter @JanuarysFiction

**Chapter 17**

**~~^~~**

**Swing Life Away**

  
**EPOV**  
I’m dreaming one those dreams, the kind where you’re fully aware that you’re dreaming.   
  
_My hands are set in the curve of her hips and she’s bent over the bathroom counter. She moans and pushes her round, little ass back against me. I pull back and slam forward again. Her fingers are curled under the edge of the vanity, and she’s moaning and I’m moaning and it’s a damn good dream. And I don’t want to wake, but I can feel something tugging at the edge of my sleep, begging me to wake up._  
  
Slowly, I shifted from unconsciousness back into reality, but I was a little confused by the shift. I could still feel Bella’s ass rubbing and pushing against me. I shake my head and force myself to focus.   
  
My hands _are_ firmly gripping Bella’s hips and her ass is in fact rolling against me. She was making tiny noises as her hips roll and move.   
  
“Bella,” I whisper as her cute little butt seductively grinds in a small circle.   
  
No answer.   
  
“Bella, baby?”    
  
No answer, just another lazy hip roll and tiny pant.  
  
 _Oh shit, she’s still asleep._ I chuckle at the thought of Bella trying to molest me in her sleep.   
  
“Do it again, Edward.” Her voice was soft and dreamy.  
  
I laughed and decided to wake her. I pull a few loose strands of her smooth, brown hair away from the back of her neck and plant a wet kiss there. She moans and I smile at her body’s unconscious response to me. I realize she’s out of commission for a couple more days, but that doesn’t mean I can’t tease her.   
  
I bring my lips back to her neck and pull the soft flesh between my teeth. At first I lick and suck at the skin softly, gently, but when her hand flies back and her fingers pull through my hair, I know she’s awake.   
  
She slammed her hips back and my erection wanted to salute her for that hot little move.   
  
I suck on her skin with a little more vigor, and suddenly Bella was moaning my name, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d have said she was close to coming.   
  
“Good morning, lovely.”  
  
“Mmhm,” she murmured as she turned in my arms. “What a wonderful way to wake up. I thought I was still sleeping.”   
  
I chuckled and kiss her nose. “Kitten, you were. Your divine ass grinding on me this morning, woke me up.”  
  
“Oh my god!” She palmed her face. It had turned a brilliant cherry red. “I am so sorry, Edward. I swear I didn’t mean to…” She shook her head and huffed. “My period makes horny!” She blurted out, and the way she slapped her hand to her mouth, I bet they also caused issues with her brain-mouth filtering.  
  
“I’m getting out of this bed before I say or do anything else to embarrass myself.”   
  
I watched her as she moved around the room, collecting various articles of clothing, mumbling to herself all the while. “Can’t believe I did that … And you just let whatever pops into your head spew out of your mouth … Mother of Pearl!”   
  
It was rather amusing to watch, and I really could not help the grin that crept across my face.   
  
“I’m going to hop in the shower,” she said as she spun around to face me. “What are you smiling at?” Her hand was on her hip and she looked all sorts of sassy. My smile grew.   
  
“You, you make me smile, Bella.”  
  
She sighed, and the slightly miffed looked on her face faded into a soft smile. “You make me smile too, Edward.”  
  
While she was in the shower I pulled my khaki shorts back on and crept downstairs to the kitchen. A pot of coffee had already been brewed. A note lay on the counter in front of it.   
  


_‘Gone to Em’s parents for brunch, see ya later. Love, Rose & Em.’_

  
_Well bless them for making coffee before they left._ I found the mugs quickly and poured a cup for each of us. I decided to raid the fridge. Bacon, eggs, fruit. Perfect. I went about getting breakfast together, moving around the kitchen like some culinary ninja.   
  
Bella bounced into the room, and I wasn’t saying it for dramatic effect, she literally bounced her way into the fucking room. Apparently the shower had energized her.  She was cute and comfortable in a pair of purple yoga carpi's and an over-sized, old grey t-shirt that advertised some bogus surf shop.   
  
“So, it’s Sunday, we’ve got the whole day. What would you like to do, lovely girl?” I asked as she flopped into the chair closest to the stove. I passed her a plate loaded up with eggs, bacon and a piece of toast.   
  
“Plan,” she said just before she shoved a piece of crispy bacon in her mouth.   
  
And plan we did. Next weekend was the weekend Bella took possession of her new house, so we spent the day planning for the move. We called U-Haul and rented a small truck. We organized and piled boxes. And then we made a list of things that Bella would still need. Aside from a small dining set, a few lamps, a leather office chair and two book shelves, she didn’t have much in the way of furniture. I offered to take her shopping, but she’d said that her and Rose had a already planned a shopping trip Tuesday after school. She was excited to be moving, and I could tell that a lot of it had to do with having a space that was hers; that was free from bad romance, hurtful memories and mistakes. A clean slate. Her excitement was infectious, and I found myself leaving that afternoon rather fucking giddy.   
  


_~~^~~_

**BPOV**  
  
My phone chimed letting me know that a text message was waiting for me.   
  


_~Skype in 10 minutes, Alice~_

  
“Alice is on skype,” I yelled loud enough that Rose would hear me. I clapped my hands and headed to the office. I heard Rose’s bare feet slapping against the tile in the kitchen as she made her way through the house and up the stairs.  After booting Emmett out of his chair, Rose and I set up in front of the computer ready to chat with Alice.   
  
“No really, it’s okay ladies, go right ahead. I wasn’t busy or anything,” Emmett grumped.   
  
“Oh, shut it, Em. You were playing World of Warcraft for fuck’s sake. That’s not busy, it’s an excuse to fondle a mouse for six hours. Nice break for your nuts, but I wouldn’t call that ‘busy’,” she said with air quotes.   
  
I snickered and gave Emmett a big, stupid grin.   
  
He rolled his eyes and slinked from the room.   
  
The screen blinked to life and in seconds Alice’s elfin face appeared. “So, you bitches went shopping without me!” No hello, nice to see you; nope she’d cut straight to point.  
  
“Sorry, Alice, but you’re in freaking Scotland,” I pointed out.  
  
“Yeah, yeah. So, did you get everything you need?” she asked.  
  
“Yes I did. And thank you, by the way. The gift card was sweet. Entirely unnecessary, but very thoughtful, so thank you.” Alice and Jasper had sent a “house warming” gift in the form of a gift card that arrived yesterday. It was a ridiculous amount if you asked me, but I figured arguing that point with her was completely moot.  
  
“I hope you bought something nice. I won’t tolerate tacky furnishings, Bella!” Her finger wagged at the me, and I laughed because she sounded completely serious.    
  
“I think she would have done you proud, Pixie Dust,” Rose said, sitting at my left.  
  
We spent the next hour describing everything I’d bought to Alice in great detail. She seemed nearly as excited about my move as I was. She asked about the lay out of the house, the colours and landscaping. She clapped and danced about when I’d told her about my first date with Edward. And then she asked me a strange question.  
  
“Bells, what do you plan on doing with your wedding dress?”   
  
Rose and I exchanged shifty looks and then looked back to the screen.  
  
“Why?  Have you got something in mind, Alice?” I sat back in the chair and linked my hands together, laying them in my lap.  
  
“Don’t you trust me, Bella?” she said in a pathetic voice, her bottom lip pushed out in a hokey pout.  
  
“That’s a loaded question.” My eyes narrowed in on her puckish face.  
  
“Well, what were you planning on doing with it?” she asked.  
  
“Bringing it to a consignment shop, I guess. Again, I ask why?”  
  
“Well if you’re not planning on keeping it, I had an idea. I’ve seen it pictures Jazz has shown me, and I think it’ll work perfectly. Can you send it to me?”  
  
Again, I gave Rose a sideways glance, she shrugged, I shrugged, and I finally agreed taking down the forwarding address Alice gave me. I would pack it up tonight and head to Fed-Ex on my lunch hour tomorrow to have it shipped out there. Curiosity had gotten the better of this cat, and I was eager to see what fate awaited my once loved wedding dress.   
  


_~~^~~_

  
The alarm sounded early on Saturday morning. Yesterday should have been the last day I heard an alarm go off for about two months, but today was moving day. I was wide awake as soon as I heard my alarm and shot out of bed like bullet from a gun. I flew through the hall and to the bathroom, and I was quick to get ready. I could hear Rose and Emmett stirring in their room. I made my way to the kitchen, put on a pot of coffee, pushed a few pieces of bread into the toaster, and pulled the peanut butter and jam from their respective homes.   
  
“Happy moving day, sugar,” Rose sang as she came into the kitchen. She planted a loud smacking kiss to the side of my head and plucked the cream from inside of the refrigerators door. She was decked out in short as hell blank shorts and a razorback hot pink tank top. Her hair was pulled back in a long braid.   
  
Emmett finally bumbled into the room, grabbing a coffee and a piece of toast that Rose had already slathered in strawberry jam for him. He grinned widely at me and sipped his black as death coffee.   
  
“Hope this doesn’t come out the wrong way, but I’m glad to be getting rid of you, Bella Bear,” Emmett said, looking at me over his mug.  
  
“No offense taken my friend. It’ll be nice to not have to carry effing earplugs around with me all the time,” I said with a sly wink.   
  
“You’ll miss hearing those sounds when you’re all alone in that big house of yours.” He wagged his thick, dark brows and I rolled my eyes at him.   
  
“So, is the Chief making an appearance today,” Rose asked, buttering a piece of toast.   
  
“Nope, he’s down a deputy. Jared’s taking his wife and kidlings on a Disney cruise that leaves this morning, so Charlie’s picking up his weekend,” I explained.    
  
“Well that’s a shame, I was looking forward to seeing Papa Bear,” Rose said, her mouth turned down in a pout. Rose and Charlie had always gotten along. I think it was their shared philosophy of straight shooting and take no bullshit that bonded them. Rose’s own father had grown rather distant since her attack. She thought he saw her as damaged and perhaps no longer worthy of his affection. Charlie saw her as a headstrong, independent woman. He’d admired her view on life and had, from the first time I’d brought her home for the holidays, treated her like a daughter and well respected member of our family. Rose loved Charlie and was proud as hell when he’d sat front row, in the sitting reserved for her family, at her wedding. I even saw the big guy shed a few tears.   
  
“I’m looking forward to that staff party tomorrow night,” Emmett chimed in. “Eddie boy coming?”   
  
“Yup,” I confirmed as I plucked a grape from the bunch I’d been washing and popped into my mouth. “He should be here any minute, actually. He’s picking up the truck on his way out of Forks.”  
  
No more than five minutes later, Edward rolled into the driveway in a diesel fuelled beast that coughed and sputtered as he put it in park and turned the engine off.   
  
“Good morning. Excited?” he asked as I bounded down the front steps toward him.  
  
“Could barely sleep last night,” I said as came to stop in front of him.   
  
He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. I closed my eyes and just relaxed into his embrace, feeling his warm breath fan over the top of my head. The giddy, energetic nervous excitement ricocheting around inside of me came to a halt and idled. Everything centred and settled.   
  
“Hmm, maybe I should have stayed over last night. I could have helped you relax.” He winked and hit me with that crooked, pantie-melting smile.  
  
 _Oh, for the love of all that’s unholy…it’s too early for in the morning for sexual innuendo._  
  
“Uh, huh, and that would have helped the sleep situation how?” I swatted at his arm.   
  
“Oh, I can’t guarantee that you would have slept anymore, but I can guarantee that you’d have been quite relaxed.” His hands went roaming and landed on my ass, giving it a healthy squeeze.   
  
“I bet.” I contemplated that for one hot minute before pulling away and leading Edward into the house.   
  
“Morning, Eddie,” Emmett greeted.  
  
“Em.” Edward nodded in his direction.   
  
“So what’s the game plan?” Rose asked.  
  
“Well, I was thinking that we’d pack up the girls cars first, send them on their merry way while we pack up whats left and then head over to the stores and pick up the furniture. I figure we can probably do the bedroom and office stuff in one haul. Then go back for the living room stuff.” Edward and I had discussed this last week and thought it it would be the most practical plan. Once Rose and I were at the house, we could clean and unpack what we’d brought with us.   
  
“Jake and Leah will meet us at the house at about eight. He can help you guys with all the heavy lifting,” I said, eyeing Edward. I was just a little nervous about Edward meeting my ex-boyfriend—still really good friend—Jake. The thought of two men that I’d been intimate with in the same room was a tad nerve-racking. Rose thought it was amusing as all hell, of course.   
  
Once we had the plan down, we began to load the two cars with boxes, baskets, bags and my prized movie plaques. By twenty to eight Rose and I were pulling away from her home and headed to Riviera road.  
  
Forty-five minutes later our cars pulled into the driveway of my new home. I came to a stop, pulled the keys from the ignition and for a moment, just stared at the “Sold” sign that had been displayed on the front lawn. This was mine.     
  
Leah and Jacob had obviously beat us there, as the two were nestled up on the front steps, coffees in hand. Jake jumped to his feet as I climbed out of the car.   
  
“Bells, that back yard is ridiculous!” he hollered as he moved in to sweep me up in his arms.   
  
Jake’s arms around me always felt like home. Like being in a warm kitchen and being surrounded by the familiar scents that always evoked childhood memories. Jake was family and having him here made what was now mine feel like home.   
  
“Rosie, I heard you all but _kicked_ Mrs. Mortise to the fucking curb last week?” Jake said as he placed me back on me feet.   
  
“I did indeed, bitch had it coming!” Rose defended.   
  
We made our way up the steps of front porch and after pulling back the screen door, I paused, spun on my heels and gave the three people behind me a giant, cheesy as hell grins. I waved the key around for dramatic effect and the unlocked the door. I pushed it open and slowly walked across the threshold.   
  
The front room had been painted a steely, dark grey, and I had no plans on changing that. I could picture just were all my new furniture would go. The off white leather would offer a nice contrast to the steel wash of the room. I lead them to the kitchen which was visible from the front room and the only barrier between the two would be provided by the furniture.   
  
The kitchen ran the length of the backside of the house. Floor to ceiling windows made up the back wall and provided a fantastic view of the backyard, steam and all. Sitting on the deck was something I wasn’t expecting. A large, stainless steel barbeque sat with a big ribbon affixed to the top. I scanned the room and the guilty faces were easy to pick out. Jake and Leah had matching grins stitched on their russet faces.   
  
“You?” I asked, looking from him to Leah and back again.  
  
“Well, us and Billy, of course. He sends his love and expects an invite just as soon as you’re settled in,” Leah said, nodding and smiling.   
  
I threw my arms around her, and she held me in a tight embrace. Strangely, there was never any weirdness between Leah and I. I think she understood the relationship Jake and I had better then most people. Leah’s best friend was also her ex, Quill. As a matter of fact, most of Leah’s closest friends were men.  
  
Much like Rose, Leah was a take no shit and pull no punches kind of chick. She usually said what was on her mind. That sometimes rubbed people the wrong way, at least until they got to know her. Once you got past her trucker mouth and no-nonsense ways, you saw someone who was sweet and kind, and loyal in a way that was rare.   
  
Once released her, I reached for the sliding glass door, bouncing on the balls of my feet. With a girlie little squeal I pulled the ribbon from the lid and checked out my new toy. “This is great guys, but you really shouldn’t have. It’s too much.”  
  
“Bella, just say thank you,” Jake said poking my ribs.   
  
“Thank you, both of you. And tell Billy he’d better get out on that water and catch us some fish so we can break this thing in proper.”  
  
“Will do,” Jake said, patting my shoulder.  
  
“Okay, enough ogling the shiny new BBQ, lets start unpacking the cars,” Rose barked with a clap of her hands, as if she were trying to call us to attention.   
  
We spent the next half hour unpacking the two cars. Rose went from room to room cleaning, and Leah and I followed with boxes and unpacked what we could in the bathrooms and the kitchen. Jake helped me hang my posters and put together the simple shelving unit in the laundry room.   
  
“Iced tea is sounding pretty good to me right about now,” I said, turning to Jake as we finished in the laundry room. He followed me back through the house and to the kitchen. Leah and Rose were sitting on the back deck, chatting it up.  
  
“So, how are you, Bells?” he asked as I handed him an iced tea.   
  
“Good, Jake, really good.” I said it with confidence, because it was nothing but the truth. I felt good to be where I was. I felt like I was just about where I should be.   
  
“Happy?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow at me.  
  
“Yes. Stupid happy. I think I’m in love with him, Jake.”  
  
“Wow, you move fast,” he wagged his brow and busted out a coy grin.   
  
I blushed and sighed, I knew he was joking, well kind of. “If you’d have asked me a few months ago if I believed in love at first sight, I’d have called bullshit, horse pucky, but now…”   
  
“Now you’re not so sure?”  
  
I shook my head and looked down at my feet.   
  
“The whole notion reeks of imprinting,” he confessed, “and I used to think that was bullshit. Turns out we’re both wrong.” Imprinting was an old tribal legend, one that Jacob had explained to me when we dating. The long and short of it was that each person had a counterpart, a soul mate and when we were in a place in our lives where we were truly ready to accept our fate, our imprint, or soul mate would be revealed. We were incomplete without the other, our souls just free floating with nothing to tether them to the earth. Our imprint, the other half of our soul was what weighed us down; kept us grounded.   
  
“When you and Leah got together, what was it like?”  
  
“Scary intense. I felt pulled to her in every way. And then there was the heat thing, and that freaked me out a little.”  
  
“Heat thing?” I took a sip of my tea and waited for him to answer. He looked as though he were trying to form the right words.  
  
“Every time we’re close there’s this heat permeating from each other. Like a current of warm air pushing and pulling between us. And when I touch her, it’s like her body temperature spikes,” he explained, looking dead serious.   
  
I was a little shocked by what I was hearing. “Jake that happens with Edward and me!” I stood there with my mouth wide open, looking a lot like a gasping fish.   
  
Jake’s eyes got wide and his smile even wider.   
  
“But it’s not heat, it electrical. Like a spark or pulse that’s pure energy. It’s always there like white noise.”  
  
 _Holy fucking hocus-pocus, Batman! Was Edward my soul mate, my counterpart?_  
  
Jake just smiled all goofy like and nodded as if he’d just heard my internal question.   
  
I was curious now, what had it been like for Emmett and Rosie. I pulled Jake out on the deck and plopped down on to the folding lawn chair Rose was smart enough to bring. “Rose, when you and Emmett met, that night at the party, do you remember what it felt like?”  
  
“Um, okay, that’s not completely fucking random,” she said, giving me an odd look.   
  
“Humour me, bitch!”   
  
“Well, Miss Manners, since you asked so nicely…” She rolled her violet-blue eyes me, but chose to entertain my question. “It was kind of, I don’t know…feral, I guess. Something about him set something inside of me off. It was like we were in this bubble, just the two of us and the air around us was full of need and want and lust and…power, for lack of a better word. It’s still there. There’s always this pull between us.”  
  
Hearing Rosalie describe what she and Emmett experienced pretty much solidified it for me. This was the way it was supposed to be. This was what love felt like. And with that realization I was suddenly intensely sad.   
  
“What’s the matter?” Rose asked, obviously seeing my face drop.   
  
I thought back on every kiss over the last ten years with Mike, though in span of a decade, there were surprisingly fewer than one would think. “Nothing,” was my brilliant, but honest answer. “No electric tingly feelings, no heat, no emotion. Just lips.” That was a sad realization right there. When we were dating, I’d wanted him so much; wanted his lips on me. But when we’d finally kissed, there was nothing. Tears rapidly began blurring my vision and my breath hitched in my chest.  
  
“I’m lost, sugar,” Rose said, sitting up and leaning closer to me.  
  
“Edward gives her electricity,” Jake explained. “Mike gave her nothing.” He sat down next to me and placed a big, warm hand on my knee, stopping the shaking that had begun. “There was never anything there with him was there?”   
  
“No, nothing at all.”  
  
“That’s okay, beautiful girl, because you’ve found your imprint, you’ve found Edward. Pure energy.”   
  
“Imprint?” Rose questioned, her head cocked to the side.  
  
“The tribe’s equivalent of a soul mate. Our girl is in love,” Leah sang, a big goofy, knowing grin on her round, russet face.    
  
“Then what the shit’s with the tears, woman!” Rose yelped, cupping my face in her hands. “Happy, _now please_ , you’re bummin’ my moving day buzz!”  
  
“Sorry, it’s just a bit of a joy kill when you look back and see just how misplaced your own want was. I mean, I’d wanted him back then, but I couldn’t say why. There was never anything there to begin with. It’s glaring obvious now why he never wanted me, but why didn’t I see it then? Why didn’t I think to question why there was no heat, no animal desire, no _mother sucking_ electrical pulse! Oye!”   
  
“Maybe without him, you never would have been ready for Edward. Maybe you needed him to move to a place where you were truly ready to accept your fate,” Jake said, softly.  
  
“You getting all meta-physical on me, Jacob?”  
  
“Think of him as a mode of transportation, Bells. You needed some way to get from point A to C, he brought you there.”  
  
I looked at Leah and Rose and though it sounded like crazy goat crap, they both seemed to agree with Jake’s little analogy.  “Well that was a hell of a long trip,” I groaned. “I mean, for the love of fucking chocolate, couldn’t we have taken a short cut?” My voice was whiny, but I pinned a soft smile to my face.   
  
I wiped my face on the back of my hand and sat up straighter. The rumble of a diesel engine filled my ears and we all walked around to the front of the house to greet the boys.   
  
Edward climbed out of the drivers seat and went around to the back of the truck were I stood waiting. Rose had gone to the front door and propped it open and Jake and Leah came to stand by me.   
  
“Edward this is Jake and his wife Leah. Jake, Leah, this is Edward.” I made the common hand gestures that went along with an introduction.    
  
“Nice to meet you both,” Edward said, shaking both their hands.   
  
Leah looked him over and gave me a curt nod. Apparently she wholly approved of Edward, at least on the looks front.   
  
Emmett came around the side of the truck and released the latch that held the door shut. It curled its way up with a near deafening grind. “Hey, what’s doin’ guys?” he said to Jake and Leah.  
  
“Same old, my friend,” Jake said, patting Emmett on the back.   
  
The three boys hauled the bedroom and office furniture in. Some of it was in boxes and would need to be put together. At the back of the truck was the last of the boxes from Rose and Emmett’s and it only took one trip between the six of us to clear it out. There was however one large thin cardboard covered something that I wasn’t sure about.  
  
“Can I give it to her?” Emmett asked, looking at Rosalie.   
  
“Have at it, big boy.”  
  
He clapped his mammoth hands together once and grinned like a fool. “This is from Rosie and me,” he said placing the thin cardboard rectangle in front of me.   
  
My face got all smooshy, I was sure I looked like a Shar-Pei puppy. I really wasn’t sure how to proceed, it looked like two pieces of cardboard slapped together.   
  
Rose offered her assistance. “Pull the tape away from the top and bottom.”  
  
I did as she directed and peeled the tape back. Sandwiched between the two boards, was a thin sheet of what looked to be vinyl, the words: “ _Some things fall apart so that other things can fall together,_ ” were scrolled across it in a deep navy script.   
  
“It’s a wall decal. I thought what it said was rather fitting, don’t you?” Rose asked, her tone hinting at the conversation we’d had only a short while ago.    
  
“I do. It’s perfect guys, thank you, so much.” I walked over to Emmett and threw my arms around his thick body and hugged him for all I was worth. Turning to face Rose, I whispered my thanks again and embraced her too. “I know just where to put it.”  
  
After showing Edward my newest toy, I went for a drive with him to pick up subs for lunch.   
  
“So it’s weird, right?” I asked looking at him from the corner of my eye.  
  
“What’s weird?”  
  
“You and Jake, I mean… I, err, it’s gotta be a little odd right?”  
  
“Oh, you’re referring to the fact that he’s seen you naked; been inside you?”   
  
“Yeah _that_ ,” I answered.  
  
“Yeah. I won’t lie, it’s a little fucked up, but he seems like a nice guy and it’s clear he loves Leah more than anything. I can deal with a little weird.” He placed his hand on my thigh and gave it a little squeeze.  
  


~~^~~

When the guys where getting ready to head out for the a second time, Jake offered to go with Emmett, and leave Edward to help me put the furniture together and finish unpacking. Truth be told Leah was the best women for the job, and I fully planned on enlisting her help.   
  
“So, Rosie and I will tackle that fucker”—Leah pointed to the huge box that housed the entertainment unit—“and you two can put the bed together.”   
  
“Sounds like a plan,” I said.   
  
“Jake left his tools on the kitchen counter. Help yourself to whatever you need.”   
  
Edward and I made our way to my room, and I snagged the new wall decal on my way up the stairs. With a box cutter, Edward carefully split open the box that contained my new bed. After reading over the instructions and making sure all of the required pieces where accounted for, we got to work.   
  
“Bella, could you just rise that slat a little higher on your side, please.”   
  
“Like this?”  
  
“Oh yeah,” he purred. _Wait…purred?_  
  
I looked over the bed frame to Edward. He was staring directly down my top. He licked his lips, and my lady bits giggled. They got all school girl-like around an Edward clad in basketball shorts and a tight black t-shirts.   
  
“Perv,” I said with a half smile on my face.  
  
“Tease.” He licked his lips went back to work.   
  
A little more than an half an hour later, Edward and I had the bed set up and positioned in the room where I wanted it. We moved the two dressers and the nightstand into position, and I brought in an old rocking chair that Renee had given me. It was the one she’d used to rock me when I was a baby. I’d had it since I’d left home and had re-stained it myself when the finish began to lose it’s lustre.   
  
“There,” I proclaimed, standing back and looking at my new room. I’d applied the decal to the wall behind my bed, my rocking chair sat in the corner, and all that needed to be done now was to put away my clothes and make up the bed.   
  
“Looks good,” Edward said, looking around the room nodding his head.  
  
I hauled the suitcases and baskets into the room and began to fill the empty drawers. With the last of my clothes tucked away, and my bed made up, I leaned against the nightstand and crossed my arms over my chest.   
  
Edward stood in front of me, sweeping a stray lock of hair away, he smiled at me. Bending his knees he brought his lips to mine and kissed my mouth. I sighed and pulled him closer. He was all warmth and comfort, and he felt good pressed against me the way he was. When our tongues reached out for one another, I tilted my head and allowed Edward to deepen the kiss. My insides felt warm and gooey and when he bit down on my bottom lip other parts felt a little gooey too.   
  
As if my body were on auto-pilot, my leg hitched up and coiled around his thighs and I moaned when he pushed his pelvis forward.   
  
“You know jean shorts and scoop neck tops aren’t very nice,” he said against my lips.   
  
“Oh, I think you like them just fine. Can’t even count the number of times I caught you ogling my chest. And was it really necessary to swat at my ass?” I asked with a giggle.  
  
“No, it was entirely unnecessary. I have no excuse for my deviant behaviour, other than to say  that I really love your ass…and those tits,” he groaned and cupped said tit.   
  
I rocked forward because I really couldn’t help it. He felt good, and he made me feel good. My eyes were closed and I got lost in the taste of Edwards lips and the sensation of him kneading my breast. When I felt his fingers slide below the waist of my jeans, my eyes snapped open.   
  
His eyes were fixed on mine and I pulled back to watch his hand disappear below. His smile turned wicked, and my stomach clenched just thinking about what Edward was about to do to me. The next thought that ran through my head was that the bedroom door was wide the hell open.   
  
“The door is open.” I said in a hushed tone.  
  
“Mmhmm,” he murmured against the skin of my neck. When he nibbled on my collarbone, an unconscious whimper left my mouth. I could feel the smile on his lips as his kissed his way over to my shoulder.   
  
His fingers tickled me through the thin cotton of my underwear, and the more he kissed and taunted me the wetter I got.   
  
I fought like the devil to keep myself from moving against his warm fingers, but when he’d sucked my earlobe into his mouth that fight was all but lost. My hips rolled forward and that extra friction pretty much sent me stupid. I panted his name and all but begged him to finger me right there.  
  
He chuckled. “Easy, baby. You need to keep quiet, or we’ll get busted.”  
  
“Don’t you laugh at me, buster, you’re the one that … mmm … started this, you’ll damn … ugh, shit … well finish it,” I demanded in low, rough voice between desperate pants.    
  
“She gets demanding when she’s horny.” He chuckled again and then slipped a finger between my folds.  
  
I clutched my self to him and let his mouth swallow the moan that I’d let out.  
  
“Fuck, Isabella, quiet.”  
  
“Stop talking,” I begged, pulling his mouth back to mine.   
  
He pushed his finger inside me and I bucked forward, still acutely aware that at any minute someone could walk in. That little panic/thrill concoction made my body want to grind faster, and move harder against him. That, and Edward had hit the nail on the head, I was horny as all get out; had been since that morning last Sunday, when I’d tried to sleep screw him.  We hadn’t had much of an opportunity to see each other through the week, and the times that we had were spent with Rose and Emmett, or Ben and Angela.   
  
Just as he pushed a second finger inside, a voice boomed through the room.  
  
“Hands were I can see them, Eddie!”  
  
 _Mother of a dirty whore! Frickin’ Emmett._ I audibly groaned at the very thought of having to stop.  
  
Edward slowly pulled his hand free, his back to the door, still facing me, he popped the two fingers in his mouth to lick them clean. His other hand flew up and he gave his orgasm blocking best friend the bird. Winking at me, he stepped back.   
  
“You suck!” I shouted at Emmett, who was standing in the doorway with a shit-eating grin on his face. If I’d had something to throw at that smug mug of his, I would have.   
  
_Stupid cock blo — finger blocking giant._  
  
“I think you two have a little exhibitionist in you. Bella Bunny, I never would have thought you had it in you.”  
  
Between Edward’s smirk, Emmett’s taunting words and the lack of service, I was feeling a little pissy now. “Shut the hell up, Emmy,” I snapped.  
  
Rose and Jake had come to stand behind him, Rose’s face was already red from laughing and Jake was wearing a similar grin to Emmett’s.   
  
“Maybe I should shut the door and let you finish her off, she’s snappy,” he said to Edward.  
  
“Maybe you should lock down those loose lips, bud,” I warned.  
  
Edward looked like he was trapped somewhere between sheer amusement and what might have been sympathy, of all things.   
  
“Or what?” Em challenged.   
  
Rose swatted at him, and fired him a warning look. She knew all to well the things I could unleash, and since _big boy_ there had just thrown down the gauntlet, I figured it was a good time to take everyone down memory lane.   
  
I stalked forward with my hands on my hips. The closer I got, the more those charming dimples of his faded. “In our senior year”—I began—“Em and Rose went to the movies. Want to tell the class why you came home early?” I jabbed my finger at his big, puffed out chest.  
  
He shook his head, but never said a word.   
  
“You can dish it out, but you can’t take it can ya?” I stage whispered. “Em and Rose got tossed out that night because someone in the audience wasn’t too hot on the noises Em was making while she went down on him. Or, maybe we should talk about the time I walked into my dorm to find the two of you in the middle of a dirty photo session. I’m so not the exhibitionist in the this group, hell I’m still fully clothed and I can’t even count how many times I’ve seen your naked ass.” I levelled a glare that very much indicated I had no problem continuing. “We done here, Emmy-Lou or have you got another jab or two in there?”  
  
He shook his head no and Jake busted out laughing. “That’s the Bella I knew in high school, sharp as a tack and goes for the balls every time. Glad to have you back, honey!” He slapped Emmett on the back and went back downstairs.   
  
I pulled my shoulders back, grabbed Edwards hand and made our way out of the room.  
  
The rest of the afternoon went by fast. At about four-thirty there was a knock on the door, that I’d just barely heard over Bon Jovi shouting “ _Oooh, we’re half way there. Ooh, living on prayer!”_  I’ll admit that I was shouting right along with him.   
  
“Yes,” I said answering the man at the door.   
  
He held out a clip board  and said, “Delivery for Isabella Newton,” and held the pen out for me to sign.   
  
“Um, okay.” I signed quickly and then mentally ran through all the furniture. Everything was accounted for.   
  
The man went back to the delivery truck and he and his cohort carried a large box up to the porch. Edward had come up behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders he told them to leave on the porch to right of the door.   
  
I looked up at him, cocking my head. “What’s this?”   
  
“This porch begs for a swing, I couldn’t resist when I found it.”   
  
“A swing, you bought me a porch swing?” I was practically dancing in place.  
  
“I did. Should we put it together?”  
  
I clapped my hands and bounced on the balls of my feet. From the moment I’d first seen the house, I’d wanted nothing more then to sit on this porch, on a swing, a book in my hand and the afternoon sun setting around me.   
  
Leah and Edward made quick work of the swing. It was perfect. It was a simple wooden, white washed swing that tethered to the porch ceiling with thick knotted rope. It had a black cushion that ran from arm to arm and it completed the house, making it mine.   
  
_Such simple things, a BBQ in the back yard, a decal on the wall above my bed, and a swing on the porch. This was home._  
  
The men decided to christen the BBQ, while Rose, Leah and I sat on the swing talking about work, life and the men we loved. Rose suggested that we draw straws to see which sorry ass would be the DD for tomorrow’s year end staff party.   
  
Wine in hand, the smell of hot dogs wafting in the air, the evening sun setting, and the laughter of my friends, my family, I slumped back onto the swing and let a lazy grin stretch my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that’s moving day. Bella’s got her new home and seems quiet pleased with her life. Drop me a line, let me know what you’re thinking. Thanks for reading folks.


	19. Is Yummier a Word?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *As always, Stephenie owns all, I got nuttin’. No infringement intended.*
> 
> Big happy grins for my wonderful team: StellaBella, and Maxipoo who keep my shit from lookin’ awful. And of course, I’d be an ass if I didn’t include my remarkable validation beta, therunaway. 
> 
> And Emily who is learning from my mistakes, literally. 
> 
> Okay children, I don’t condone the use of drugs, but …ah fuck it, just read the chapter. Catch ya at the bottom, lovelies.

**Chapter 18**

**~~^~~**

**Is Yummier a Word?**

  
**BPOV**  
I could hear my phone going off, I just had no freaking clue where I left it.   
  
_Purse? And the purse is…? Kitchen!_   
  
I raced through the hall and down the stairs to the kitchen. Digging through my purse, I managed to slide it open before it went to voicemail.   
  
“Hello?” I said, all out of breath.  
  
“Bells? Hey, kiddo. How did the move go?”  Charlie asked.  
  
“Good, good. Everything is done actually. Well, almost. I was just setting up my computer. How’s the day been? Bust any bad guys?” I walked to the kitchen table and sat down.   
  
“Nah, spent most the day playing poker with Mark. Got a few in the drunk tank, though. The Saturday night regulars. So, is it too late to see your old man? Would you be up for a visit?”  
  
“I’d love a visit.”  I perked up at the thought of having my dad see my new home. I was sure he’d love it.   
  
“You sure, kiddo? It’s not too late?”   
  
“It’s ten-thirty, Dad. I think I can hang on for a little while longer.” Truth be told, I pushed everyone out the door, Edward included, about an hour ago. I took a shower and decided to set up the computer before clocking out for the night. As much as I wanted Edward to stay, I wanted my first night in my new home to be just that; mine.   
  
“Right. I should be there in about twenty minutes,” he said, and I could hear the door to his office shutting behind him.   
  
“See ya soon, Dad.”  
  
He mumbled a “mmhm” and hung up. I poured myself another glass of wine, flipped on the light on the front porch, and went to wait for Charlie on the swing.   
  
True to his word, Charlie pulled in no more than twenty minutes later.  He climbed out from behind the wheel of the cruiser and made his way toward the front of the house holding a package. He let out a whistle and smiled brightly at me. “Kid, this is a hell of a piece of land you’ve got here. Care to show me around?”   
  
“Absolutely,” I said, hopping up off the swing. “That’s my new favourite place. Edward bought it as a house warming gift. You like?” I pointed to the swing behind me.  
  
“I do. Man’s got good taste.”  
  
“I think so,” I said as I pulled the screen door open. We walked down the short hallway into the living room, and Charlie cast his big brown eyes around the room.   
  
“Nice, Bells.” He nodded, and I lead him to the kitchen.  
  
“Kitchen…” I said in an obvious tone, waving my hand across the space in a very Vanna White-like fashion.   
  
We went from room to room and he seemed pleased. “Well, Bells, I gotta say, this is a hell of a place you’ve got. I’m impressed, baby.”   
  
“Thanks, Dad.”  I lead him back to the kitchen, and we each took a seat. He placed a purple wrapped pack on the table and shrugged out of his Forks PD issued jacket.   
  
“I gotta ask how you managed to afford all the new stuff, Bells?”   
  
“Well, most of it was courtesy of our separation agreement. When we met with our lawyers, a little while back, it was politely suggested to Michael that since he was keeping the house, he pay me for what would have been my share of the profit, had we chosen to sell the house. I got my first payment this past Monday and that covered most of it. I’ve got four more payments coming to me over the next six months. Alice and Jasper sent a gift certificate that I spent on bedding and towels. And while we were in Seattle, I managed to pick up a few things that caught my eye, decorative pieces that I knew would work well here.”   
  
“Good. I’m glad that shit is dishing out a little money. It doesn’t even begin to cover the damages, but I’m glad he’s payin’ for it some way,” Charlie said. His lips formed a tight line and his jaw was set in such a way that made it clear the whole topic was an annoyance to him.  
  
Clearing my throat, I offered him a drink before taking a long pull on my wine. He shook his head and shifted in his seat.   
  
“So, whatcha got there, Dad?”  I gestured to the purple box in front of him.  
  
“It’s from your mother and I. We collaborated or…well, she told me what to get, and I agreed.” He smiled sheepishly and pushed the gift toward me.   
  
I tore into in the paper and lifted the lid on the box. Inside was a digital camera and a photo album.  
  
“Open the album,” Charlie prompted.   
  
I put the camera on the table and fished the leather bound album out of the box. I flipped it open and inscribed on the front page was a message.

**_Isabella,_ **

**_A new house; a new start._ **

**_A place for brand new memories._ **

**_A place where you can dance like no one will see you,_ **

**_Sing as if no one is listening and love like you’ll never be hurt._ **

**_Cast aside what is old, faded, and torn and replace it with everything that’s new and exciting. Congratulations, baby._ **

**_Lots of love: Dad, Mom and Phil._ **

  
Tears welled up in my eyes and Charlie reached over and pat my hand. “It’s perfect, Dad.”  
  
“I know you left a lot of your photo albums behind, and we thought you could start a new one. Fill it with a whole bunch of happy, baby. Please.” His request wasn’t so much that the gift be used; it was more that he was asking me to be happy. I was finally in a place that I felt like happiness was something I _deserved_.   
  
“I will, Dad. I promise.” I blinked the remaining tears from my eyes and offered him a soft smile.   
  
“So, tell me about this Edward you’re seeing. Should I be running a police check on this guy?”  
  
I laughed and shook my head. We spent the next half an hour taking about Edward. I admitted that I loved him, and that I knew it was too soon to be throwing those words around. Charlie surprised me when he smiled and actually told me to “go for it _._ ” I wanted to know who the hell that pod person was, and what in the name of the sweet baby Jesus he’d done with my father.   
  
_Go for it? That’s so not the Chief._ I could feel the gears grinding and turning in my head, and then I heard the click. _Charlie is seeing someone!_  
  
“Who is she?”   
  
“Who’s who?” he asked, looking down at his hands on the table top.   
  
_Yeah, evasion, great trick. You taught it to me._   
  
“Go for it? Really, Charlie? I know there’s a woman so ‘fess up.”  
  
His cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink, and I knew I hit the nail on the head. “Sue Clearwater,” he mumbled, probably hoping I wouldn’t hear him.   
  
“Leah’s mom?”   
  
“Yeah, she’s a great lady.”  
  
“I know she is, and I’m glad you have her,” I admitted.   
  
Having taken all the embarrassment he could handle, Charlie decided it was time to make an exit. He reminded me—no less than three times—to lock up as soon as he left, kissed me goodbye, and headed out to his car waving as he walked away from me.   
  
After locking up and rinsing my wine glass, I traipsed upstairs, pulled back the new comforter, and all but collapsed onto the bed.

~~^~~

Because Heidi was hosting the party this year, and Heidi lived in Port Angeles, Edward offered to drive us, picking up Em and Rose on the way. Emmett was pretty geeked about that. He pulled the short straw last year and had the pleasure of listening to my stoned ramblings all the way home while Mike snored and drooled on my shoulder. The man could not hold his liquor. At. All. At one point in the evening, Mike sat on Emily’s porch, hyperventilating and repeating, _“I’m too old for this.”_ He also freaked out on Rose because she was apparently being way too loud for his liking. No more booze for Michael.   
  
I, on the other hand, could keep my stuff together. Well, for the most part. Tequila always turned the party sour for me. I kept a healthy distance from that evil crap.    
  
By twenty to five, I had my taco dip ready to go, two bags of nachos, a new camera tucked into my purse, and more than a few bottles of my favorite poison, Smirnoff Ice. I heard Edward’s knock at the front door before he called out.   
  
“Hey, lovely, it’s just me.”  
  
 _God, I love it when he calls me that._  
  
“Up here,” I called from the en suite bathroom. I listened to the footsteps draw closer and closer until Edward stood at the doorway to my bathroom.  
  
“You look cute. Plaid works for you,” he complimented. He crossed his arms over his chest—which looked fantastic in that snug _Beastie Boys_ tee—and leaned on the door frame.   
  
I let the strands of hair fall from the curling iron as I released the handle. I sprayed my hair, shook it out once more, and let the curls fall. I hadn’t really bothered to do my hair in some time. It had been a long while since that curling iron had seen any action. With Edward watching me, I swept a coat of mascara over my eye lashes and put my lipstick on. The shade was pretty close to nude, with just a hint of a pink shine to it.   
  
“I feel like I’m watching the wizard from behind his curtain,” he admitted.   
  
I snorted and shoved my make up back into the tiny box it came from. “No magic here. And really, I’m too lazy to do anything that requires more effort.”  
  
“Well, regardless of the effort, the end result is the same ...you look beautiful.”  
  
I blushed like a thirteen year old, because that seemed to be my standard response to any compliment. “Edward, I’m wearing jeans and a purple and blue plaid shirt; not exactly princess attire.”   
  
“Jeans that show off legs that go all the way to heaven and past Avalon, jeans that hug your hips and ass. And anything in that deep blue sets off your skin in a _completely_ fucking edible way.”  
  
Again, I blushed. I pushed past him with my eyes cast downward.   
  
“So, are you ready to meet a bunch of crazy EAs and teachers?”   
  
“Bring it on,” he said with a grin.  
  
“Odds are pretty damned good that your girlfriend is going to get bunches of messed up tonight.” I turned off the light in my bedroom, noticing Edward’s overnight bag at the foot of my bed.  
  
“I can handle it,” Edward said, following me down the hall and toward the main floor.   
  
“Rose might flash you,” I warned.  
  
“Meh,” he said with a casual shrug.  
  
“I might get really high and babble on about God only knows what.” I grabbed my purse, slipped it up my shoulder, and then snagged the taco dip off the kitchen counter.    
  
“I’m kind of looking forward to that, actually.” He winked and scooped up the nachos and a small cooler.   
  
“Yeah, you say that now,” I teased.   
  
As we drove to Rose and Emmett’s, I gave Edward the rundown on some of the people he’d be meeting tonight. “Heidi’s has Marcus, and they have a little girl named Ashley. She’s a cute little thing, very bubbly and friendly. She’s five and she’ll be _nowhere near_ the house tonight. They also have two dogs. They look a little scary, but they’re harmless. They’re bull mastiffs—Aro and Caius. And no, I have _no idea_ where they came up with the names.”   
  
We pulled up to the McCarty house, and Edward honked the horn.   
  
“You ready for this shit, Eddie?” Emmett asked as he climbed into the back seat.   
  
“I’ve been warned,” he said with a smirk firmly planted on his face.   
  
“Yeah, well when your chicks shot-gunning the principal and Rose is licking salt off Bella’s neck, _warned_ will seem insufficient, man.”    
  
“You shot-gunned a freakin’ principal?” Edward sounded a tad shocked.   
  
“No, he’s exaggerating …I shot-gunned Emily. Most of the principals don’t stick around for that,” I answered factually.   
  
“And I totally licked salt off her. Tequila shots are yummier that way,” Rose piped up.   
  
“Is yummier a word?” Emmett wondered aloud.

**_~~^~~_ **

**RPOV**  
“Oh, super-human sleaze, three o’clock.” I nudged Edward.  
  
He looked up and to his right, noticing the tramptastic woman headed straight for him.   
  
“That’s Kristy-Ann,” I explained, “she’s Franklin’s kindergarten teacher. And she’s a fucking _succubus_ , watch it.” I felt it only fair to worn the poor boy. Kristy-Ann was sometimes a force to be reckoned with. Her slut skills were the likes of which I’d never seen.  
  
“Rosie, nice to see you. Where’s that hot hunk of a husband?” she asked, actively perusing the faces around her.   
  
_Yeah, wouldn’t you just love to sink your teeth into him. Bitch._  
  
“Last I saw him he was playing poker with Coach Clapp,” I said in a flat tone.   
  
“And you think it’s wise to leave him on his own like that?” Kristy-Ann practically purred.   
  
“He’s house trained,” I said, eying her bad makeup job.   
  
Edward snickered at that, calling attention to himself.   
  
_Shit, stay still. No sudden movements, Edward._  
  
“And you are?” she asked, pushing out her hand and batting her lashes.  
  
“Bella’s,” he announced. “Bella’s boyfriend, Edward Cullen, nice to meet you.”   
  
_Well played, sir._    
  
“Bella’s boyfriend? And where does that leave her _husband?_ ” Kristy-Ann snarked.   
  
“At home, where his sorry, lying, soon to be _divorced_ ass should be,” I spat.   
  
“I see. But it’s not official yet?” she asked, ogling poor Edward.  
  
 _Oh, for fuck’s sake!_  
  
“Alright, super-tramp, back that virus ridden ass of yours up. He is off the market, besides community bicycle isn’t his thing.”  
  
Edward tossed me a look that clearly said he thought I was the shit.   
  
She huffed in a haughty-like way, spun on her heels, and promptly fucked off.   
  
“Thanks for the save, Rose,” Edward said as he ran his fingers through his hair.   
  
“Anytime, sir, anytime. Now, how about we go find our significant others? I can just feel trouble, and I know my husband’s at the heart of it.”  
  
We travelled back through the open sliding glass door and into the kitchen. _Just Like Heaven_ was playing and people were weaving in and out of the rooms, some heading back to the deck outside others congregated in the kitchen around the food. This is where we found Bella. A _very stoned_ Bella.

  
I stood with a smirk set on my face and watched as she absently dipped and then stuffed a chip in her mouth. In between dip to mouth action, she spoke animatedly with Emily. I elbowed Edward, his eyes were on her too, shaking his head and smiling like a love struck moron.   
  
“I know, right. It’s total bullshit!” she said, before ramming another chip into her mouth.  
  
 _Feed those munchies, kiddo_.   
  
“What’s total bullshit?” Edward asked as he approached her.  
  
“Huh? Oh, Family Day. The Canadian’s have this holiday, Family Day. What the crap is that, and how come we don’t have one? We _don’t_ have one, do we?” She contemplated that for one hot second, and then her focus was called back to the nacho dip she’d been devouring. “I think it’s just an excuse not to have to work,” she spoke to the dip.   
  
“Ah, fuck buddy, good luck,” I said, shaking my head and patting Edward on the back. _Bella gone bye bye._  
  
“Good dip?” Edward asked, giggling at his smoked out lady.   
  
“Mmm,” Bella and Emily hummed in appreciation.   
  
“Oh, Emily,” Bella half hollered, smacking her hand down on the table top. “This is Edward. Pretty, yes?”  
  
“Did she just call me pretty?” Edward whispered, leaning toward me.  
  
“Indeed she did.”  
  
Edward stuck out his hand to Emily. Emily took another second to stare at Edward and then shook his hand, mumbling something about sex hair. “Nice to meet you, Emily.”  
  
Just then Edward yelped and spun around. Standing behind him was Aro. One of the two biggest fucking dogs I’d ever seen. Aro seemed to have taken a liking to our boy Eddie.  
  
“Hey, dog, how’s it going?” he asked him, patting it on the head.  
  
“That’s Aro. He’s a little more sociable. Caius is slithering around here somewhere. They’re sweet dogs, but Caius freaks me out a little. He’s so quiet, sneaky,” I explained.   
  
Aro cuddled up to Edward’s side and eyed Bella’s dip.   
  
“So, what do you do Edward?” Emily asked.   
  
We stood there and rambled on for a few minutes, and then I heard it. The reason I’d come inside in the first place. Emmett’s booming laughter rose above the music and the chatter.  
  
 _Ah shit, here we go._  
  
The four of us followed the sound into the adjoining room. My monkey man was standing in front of the T.V., Wii controller in hand, in nothing but his boxers. _What the fuck_ didn’t even begin to cover it. Heidi was stripping off her jeans, hopping around in circle when her pant leg got caught up on her ankle.   
  
“Can I ask why you’re both half naked?” _And I why in the sweet name of sin I’m I the only one with their wits about them? Christ, I need another drink…and perhaps a hit or two of the obviously good shit Emily brought with her._  
  
“Strip badminton,” Emmett responded as if it were the most glaringly obvious answer.   
  
“I thought you were playing poker?” Edward said.   
  
“I was. Got bored,” he explained.   
  
“Well if you ask me, Gameboy, it looks like you’re gettin’ schooled,” Bella pointed out.   
  
“Heidi’s got game,” he answered, taking another swig of his beer.  
  
“Damned straight I do. I lull you into a false sense of comfort with my feminine wiles and then flip the script on your ass,” Heidi said proudly.   
  
“Yes, but now you have no pants,” Emmett shot back.   
  
“Still wearing more than you, _bud_.” Which was true, she still had her top and all her under things on.   
  
I turned on my heel, deciding I wanted no part in the inevitable public disrobing. I hadn’t noticed until now, but glued to Edward’s left side was Bella, on the right, Aro. “That dog’s got a serious thing for you, Edward.”  
  
“Yeah, and he’s freaking me out. Furry sucker keeps looking at me like…”   
  
“He’s eye-screwing you,” Bella shouted, giggling like a loon.  
  
“Kind of. He definitely wants something,” Edward admitted.   
  
“Heidi,” I called, turning back to the den, “your pouch is freaking out the guests.”  
  
“Marcus,” Heidi bellowed, “do something with the dog. He’s practically salivating over poor Edward.”  
  
“Yeah, so is Kristy-Ann, can we put her out, too?” I whispered to Bella. My eyes flitted across the room, and I watched Kristy-Ann toss amorous, here kitty, kitty looks at him and then shifted her gaze to shoot daggers at Bells.   
  
Bella and Edward followed my gaze, and when Kristy-Ann caught Edward’s eyes, she waved.   
  
“Pfft, she keeps looking at you like that and I’ll stab her with a BBQ fork.”   _Jealous Bella is a funny Bella._  
  
Edward apparently thought so too and threw his back and laughed. “Bella, violence is never the answer.” He ducked his head and latched his mouth to hers in a searing kiss. “You taste like weed and Smirnoff,” he commented when he released her.   
  
She shrugged, blushing.

 

**_~~^~~_ **

**EPOV**  
We’d been there for four hours, and I watched Emmett loose his shorts to the lovely Heidi listened to Bella babble on about holidays, her old truck, and her favourite pizza toppings. As warned, Rose flashed me, and Emily’s stoned ass whooped me a in a game of _Uno_. I hadn’t played _Uno_ since I was kid, and when Emily whipped it out, I got a little giddy.   
  
Bella was sitting on my lap, sipping on her newest bottle of Smirnoff Ice, and laughing at something Emmett said. She looked so happy and so open. I’d yet to see her so relaxed. The song changed, and Bella suddenly sat up straighter.   
  
“I love this song,” she announced.   
  
“Should I bust out the guitar, Bells?” Marcus asked. I wouldn’t have pegged Marcus for a picker. He was tall and stringy, and if I had to place him anywhere, it would have been a dank old library. Much to my surprise, Marcus was a high school teacher. He taught ancient and European history but had a major penchant for music.   
  
When he returned he had an acoustic guitar. He sat down, got comfortable, and then turned to Bella and asked what she’d like to hear. She chose _Then Go,_ by _Damien Rice._ She sang and he played.

_“Among the afflictions,_

_With which I've been marked,_

_None so pretentious, no,_

_And none quite so dark._

_I get the feeling you're bored with me,_

_Not through habit or frequency,_

_Did your mother have you easily?_

_And if there's some place else that you would rather be;_

_Then go,_

_Then go,_

_Then go,_

_Then go.”_

  
I sat back and marvelled. Her eyes were glazed, checks pink from the buzz, and a voice like an angel; she was utter perfection.   
  
After a rousing game of _Scene It_ , party rules of course—every incorrect answer resulted in a shot of whatever the fuck was being passed around—Rose face planted, and we decided to call it a night. She was horrible at that game. We dropped Rose and Emmett off at home. Em had to carry his drunken wife.  
  
“So, did you have a good time tonight?” Bella asked, her head leaning on the passenger window.   
  
“I did. You?”  
  
She nodded. “It was a great night. But you’re never going anywhere near that toddler-teaching Ho,” she deadpanned.   
  
“Won’t be a problem, lovely.”  
  
She purred. “Have I told you how much I love it when you call me that?” Her hand had found its way to my thigh, and she was skimming her nails back and forth across my jeans.   
  
“No,” I answered honestly.  
  
“Mmm, well I do. And _beautiful_ , and _pretty girl_ ,” she listed.   
  
“Noted.” I watched her pale, delicate hand coast toward my crotch, and my dick did a little happy dance at the mere thought of her touch.   
  
“My being all smoked out and whatnot doesn’t bother you?”   
  
“Nope, its pot, not crack. Not my really my thing, but have at it, honey.” Seriously, it wasn’t like she was sitting at the kitchen table bumping lines of coke or some shit. And she only seemed to do it once in a blue moon, so no harm.   
  
“Mike hated it. He’d get all disappointed and give me shit,” she admitted, looking down at her lap.  
  
“Fuck him! You’re an adult, Isabella, not some out of control teenager who can’t get their shit together. You want to blaze from time to time? I see no harm in it. Don’t know what the Chief would think about his baby girl with her lips wrapped around a joint, but I can bet, based on what you’ve told me about him, a lecture is something you wouldn’t hear.”   
  
She laughed and looked out the windshield. “Doubtful. Charlie was a huge pot-head back in the day. I’m sure my mother would be more than happy to regale you on her younger years with the Chief.”   
  
“Sounds like she was a fire cracker,” I surmised.   
  
“Was, still _is_. You’d get along with her, and I think she’d really like you.”  
  
“So, when do I get to meet the mighty Chief?”  
  
“Well he’s off next weekend,” she answered after giving it a little thought.  
  
“Sunday?” I asked.   
  
Because I’d chosen to keep up my emergency/trauma certification after my initial training as a resident, I was obligated by the hospital to put into the ER rotation. I had a twelve hour ER rotation Friday night, nine to nine. Pretty much put me out of commission for Saturday.   
  
“I can do Sunday. Just do me a favour and remind me tomorrow. Chances of me retaining this shit, isn’t too likely.”   
  
I laughed and told her I’d happily remind her in the morning.   
  
We got ready for bed, and although Bella was a little more than tipsy, she didn’t require my assistance in the least.   
  
_Tipsy, possibly still a little high Bella has a little more swish in her hips. I like that swish._  
  
My inner pervert pictured a stage and a pole as she moved around the room. I rolled my eyes at my own vivid, slightly depraved daydreams.   
  
Bella stood at the end of the bed and surveyed me. Her eyes crept up my legs, zeroed in on my growing hard on, and perused my chest before landing on my face. Slowly, she crawled up the bed. Knees on either side of my thighs, she came to a stop.   
  
I had no idea what was running through her head in that moment, but the way she licked her lips made me groan.   
  
“If I…uh, mess this up, you’ll tell me?”   
  
_Huh?_  
  
She looked down pointedly and licked her lips again.   
  
_Oh my shit! She’s going to give you head_. My brain began to malfunction at the thought, and I stammered, “Bella, you don’t…I mean, you um…been drinking.”   
  
“Yes, Edward, I have alcohol coursing through my blood stream, big deal. You’re not taking advantage of me. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have said anything. So, relax.”  
  
“Bella—”   
  
“Edward,” she snapped, putting her hands on her hips. “I’m horny as shit, and I want this, so you’d do well to shut up and quit raining on my damned parade.” If she’d have been standing up, I have no doubt that she would have stomped her feet.   
  
“I was just going to tell you to move so I can kick off my boxers.”  
  
“Oh,” she murmured as she shifted to my side.   
  
As I pushed my boxers past my hips and down my legs, Bella gasped and made a quiet “Oh” sound. “See something you like, kitten?” I asked, smiling up at her.  
  
“Cocky mother fu- ahhh!”   
  
I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her over me. She quickly resumed her previous position, straddling my upper thighs and then working down to kneel between my legs.   
  
She lowered her mouth to my swollen cock and placed a kiss on the tip, which made it twitch. She giggled and then let her tongue push forward to taste me. She worked me slowly, and what she didn’t take into her mouth, she pumped with her capable hand. She listened to my sounds and used them to guide her. When she moved at a more confident pace, I brought my hand to her hair and helped her.  
  
Her tongue swirled and licked, her teeth gently grazed, and she sucked all the way up my dick and dropped back down. Her mouth felt phenomenal. Her humming and soft moans told me she was enjoying herself and that just spurred me on. But I made sure to keep my hips firmly planted.    
  
Watching my cock disappear in her mouth was pretty much my undoing. “I’m close, pretty girl.”   
  
She hummed again and my hips left the bed and I pushed into her mouth. I felt myself hit the back of her throat and she gasped.   
  
“Sorry, baby.” I removed my hand from the back of her head.   
  
“No, no…Edward, you can…” She dropped back down and took me back into her mouth. The hand she’d been using to pump me slipped away, and she drew herself right down to the base.   
  
_Oh my sweet fuck! No gag reflex._   
  
When I realized what she was telling me, I pushed up and nearly fucking cried when I felt myself slide with ease into her throat. “Oh shit, Bella, I gonna come,” I warned her. But my girl kept right on going, so I thought I’d offer her a tip. “It’s easier if I’m, ahh shit, at the back of your mouth. And…ugh…breathe.”   
  
She hummed in agreement and pushed back down on me, her teeth gently raking downward. I came hard, and Bella worked me until I rode out the last waves of my orgasm.   
  
She sat up, shifted and came to lie next to me. “Was that okay?” she asked with swollen lips and flushed cheeks.  
  
“Perfect,” I breathed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs mentioned in this chapter are Just Like Heaven by The Cure and Then Go, by Damien Rice. Check ‘em out on my channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/JenniesAToolFan?feature=mhee


	20. On The Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing. But I did buy myself a cute grey sweater yesterday. No copyright infringement is intended.*
> 
> This story is rated NC-17 for language, mature (as in adult) subject matter and lemons. And a gentle reminder that a Canadian chick is writing this, so there’s plenty of extra letters floating around, but don’t let that deter you. 
> 
> Special thanks to Kat for helping me out with the medical crap. I’m not exactly a dummy, but I’m no nurse, and I’m certainly not a doctor.
> 
> Also a big squeeze to my pre-reader, Emilou, my beta Maxipoo and my validation beta Nikkipattinson. Keep up the wonderful work and I might toss in a sloppy, wet kiss for each of ya!

**Chapter 19**

**~~^~~**

**On The Line**

  
**BPOV**  
“So how’s Angela? Anything yet?” my mother asked as I paced around the kitchen, balancing the phone on my shoulder.   
  
“Good…well, pretty miserable actually. She’s a day over-due if you go by her first due date.” I smiled at the thought of my last visit with Ang. She groaned and grimaced every time she moved. She was terribly uncomfortable, and her grumpy behaviour was completely uncharacteristic and amusing as hell.   
  
“I remember my last trimester. My skin was so itchy, and sleeping had become utterly impossible. I just wanted it to be done. Luckily, you were two days early,” she said, her words sounding lost and soft with memory.   
  
I chucked a handful of green peppers into the pan and pushed the contents around. I had been in the middle of making dinner when Renee called. The smell of the veggies and chicken simmering filled the house, and it was making my mouth water.  
  
“So everything is unpacked and you’re all settled?” she asked.  
  
“Yeah. We managed to get pretty much everything done that day. The camera was a great idea. Thank you,” I said, reaching into the fridge to fish out the sour cream. “I took a few pictures of the house. I’ll email them to you tonight. I’ve got some great shots from the party last Sunday,” I added.   
  
“Any of Edward?” she asked with a little tease in her tone.  
  
“Yes, there are a few of Edward.” I grinned thinking about the night and how he got along so well with my friends and co-workers. My mind slipped to later in the evening, and I blushed.   
  
“Well, you’ll have to send one or two of those so I can get a good look at the guy that’s got my baby girl all perked up. Have you slept with him yet?”  
  
 _Well shit! Way to cut to the chase, Renee._ But that was just her.That mother-daughter, don’t ask, don’t tell boundary was never really there.   
  
“Mom, seriously!” I groaned, giving the phone a dirty look.  
  
“Oh, grow up. It’s just sex, and it’s not like either of us is new to the game, Isabella.”  
  
“No, I haven’t slept with him.” I chose not to add the fact that I very much wanted to and the things we had done made me feel amazing. I turned the burner off and pulled the pan away. “My dinner is ready, Mom. Can we pick up this embarrassing conversation another time?”   
  
She giggled and I could practically see her shaking her head. “Yeah, baby. Good night, Bella Donna.”  
  
My mom was a huge Stevie Nicks fan and often called me Bella Donna, which was the name of her favourite album.   
  
“Night, Mom. Love you,” I said as I plucked a tortilla from the bag.   
  
“Love you too.”

**_~~^~~_ **

**EPOV**  
“So you got the pictures then?” I asked, packing my dinner and a few snacks so I wouldn’t need to rely on the vending machines poor selection of so-called food to sustain me.   
  
“I did. Your mother wants to have an inspector take a look at it. If he deems the foundation solid, we’ll be putting an offer in by the end of the week.”  
  
I knew exactly shit about construction or architecture, so I had no way of knowing whether the foundation of a turn of the century farm house was structurally sound. “It’s a nice looking house. It’s got a lot potential, something mom would have fun with, no doubt. Bit big for just the two of you, though.”  
  
“I said the very same thing to your mother. She promptly told me to shut the hell up and eat my skittles,” he said with a chuckle. The banter between my parents was often entertaining, and for those on the side lines, I was sure it often sounded as if they had little concern for one another. That couldn’t be further from the truth. All of those little words, as biting as they sounded sometimes, were never spoken with anything but respect and adoration. They had this push and pull effect on each other. My mother would push his buttons, and he’d pull her close.   
  
“And you kissed her stupid, didn’t ya?” I guessed.  
  
“You bet. So, how are things going with the centre? Much progress?”   
  
“Actually, quite a bit. I’ve found a vacant lot that’s in a great location, and I think it will serve my purposes rather well. The proposals have been accepted by the city, and I’m getting the paper work ready to begin the bid for construction. I’ve got a few doctors eager to sign on and _more_ than a few community endorsements. Bella was a big help in that department. Her ties within the school board and children’s mental health communities proved to be pretty damn valuable.”   
  
Since I first discussed my plans with Bella, she’d taken a keen interest and was willing to help me in my appeal to the surrounding communities.   
  
“She sounds wonderful, Edward,” my dad admitted.   
  
“And smart, sexy, brave, strong, and _so_ kind. She’s remarkable,” I said in an adamant voice.   
  
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t as excited to meet her as your mother is. She hasn’t shut her damn mouth since you told her you were seeing someone. It’s annoying as all hell,” he said in a raised voice. I knew without having to ask that my mother within earshot. I shook my head and chuckled.  
  
I heard the _ow_ , before my mother’s voice telling him to mind his mouth.   
  
“She smack you?” I asked, knowing the answer.   
  
“Yup,” he said, his voice holding a wide smile.   
  
“All right, folks, I’ve got to get ready to go. I’ve got a twelve hour ER shift ahead of me,” I said, leaning against the kitchen counter.   
  
“Have a good night, son. And we’ll call when we hear from the inspector.”  
  
“Good deal.” We said our goodbyes, and I went about getting ready for my shift.  
  
I tapped out a quick text to Bella before leaving.

_Off to save a life or two. Or, more likely remove pennies from places they ought not be and tend to the idiot drunks that stumble in after hours.- E_

 

**_Well, you have fun with that, love. Rose and I are about to pop the cork on a second bottle of wine. Been playing cards. Chicks kicking my butt.-B_ **

  
I loved that she called me _love_. I loved that when she said it, it came out all dreamy.

_I’ll call if I get the chance, baby. Have fun with Rose and tell her I said hello.-E_

 

 ** _Will do. Have a good night. -xox Bella_**  

 

**~~^~~**

**BPOV**  
“I gave him head,” I said, the words spilling from my mouth in a tipsy slur.   
  
Rose nearly spat her wine out. “Well, congratulations…Is that the proper sentiment for poppin’ your mouth cherry?”  
  
“My what? Rose, don’t be a nasty whore.” My nose pinched up, and I gave her a disapproving finger wag while smiling like an idiot.   
  
“So, what side of the argument do you stand on, Bella Bunny?” she asked, picking at the spinach dip in front of her.  
  
“What argument?” I asked, felling like I missed something important.  
  
“Way I see it, women break into three categories. The first actually enjoy going down. The second will do it, but see it as an obligation, a chore. The third wouldn’t put a dick in their mouths if their lives depended on it. Personally, I fall into the first category. I like the control.” She pushed her long golden hair over her shoulder and placed her cards down on the table.  
  
I thought about it for a quick second before I came to my conclusion. “First category. Might be a new favourite.”  
  
She snickered.  
  
“No, it’s like you said. There’s a certain amount of control and power involved. _I_ made him feel good. _I_ made him come. And I mean that’s a hell of a vulnerable position to put yourself in. I could have hurt him so easily. Letting someone have control over your body like that takes a lot of trust. It felt good,” I said, nodding as if agreeing with my own statement.   
  
Before we dove any deeper into that topic, my phone rang.   
  
“Hello?” I answered, looking at the clock on the wall. It was just after ten o’clock.  
  
“Hey, Bells, we just thought we’d give you the heads up,” Ben said in an excited voice, “that Angie and I are heading to hospital.”   
  
I jumped up from my seat, the remainder of my wine spilling on the table. “No shit! Really? She’s in labour?”  
  
Rose’s eyes flipped up to me as her hand absently blotted at the mess I made. A big, happy grin stretched across her face.   
  
“Well, I don’t know if she’s in labour, but her back has been bothering her for the last two hours or so, and she’s feeling a little crampy. So, better safe than sorry.”  
  
“You’ll call when you know more, right? I don’t care if it’s three the morning, Ben, you’ll call.” The last of it came out more like a demand then a friendly request.   
  
“I will, I will. Cross my heart.”  
  
“I’m so excited,” I squealed. “Good luck guys. Love you both.”  
  
“Love you too, Bells,” Ben said before hanging up.   
  
Rose and I danced around the kitchen like fools for a good five minutes, before plopping down on the couch in the front room. An hour and half later, we were both tired and wanted sleep in a big bad way. I hadn’t heard anything from Ben and Angela so I brought my phone with me to bed. Rose tucked herself into bed in the guest room, and I lay down staring up at the ceiling thinking about the baby that may or may not be on its way.  
      
I’d just gotten comfortable when the phone alerted me to an incoming text message.

**_I know it’s getting late. Are you awake? -E_ **

 

_I just crawled into bed. How are things in the ER? -B_

 

**_Dead quiet. Just crawled into bed, huh? What are you wearing? -E_ **

  
I felt a thrill push through me, and I sat up a little in the bed. I turned the light back on.

_I don’t know that I should answer that, Dr. Cullen. You’re sitting in the emergency room.-B_

  
I teased him and waited for a response.

**_Actually, I’m in the on-call room, alone. Answer the question, Isabella. -E_ **

  
I watched enough _Grey’s Anatomy_ to know that the on-call room was pretty much a slut shack for doctors and nurses to get it on. Or sleep. Whatever.

_Yellow panties with a matching bra. It has a pretty pink flower in the centre, right between my boobs.-B_

  
I let out a slightly nervous laugh. Though I had sent a steamy email or few to Mike, I never sent a text, and it felt a little more intimate for some reason.

**_Don’t toy with me, woman. If you’re wearing a nasty, old night shirt tell me. Don’t get my hopes up (among other things)-E_ **

 

_No nasty night shirt, just a bra and panties. -B_

 

**_Lose the bra, Isabella.-E_ **

  
My pulse pounded in my veins as I complied with his order.

_Done. But it seems to me we’re on uneven ground here, Edward. You need to catch up a little.-B_

  
Minutes later my phone vibrated in my hand. A photo was attached to the text he sent. I swore I began to drool instantly. Edward was shirtless in dark pants that were unbuckled and unzipped. I licked my lips. The caption read, **_Better?_**  

_Much and I’m framing that picture. Seriously. -B_

 

**_Put the phone down and cup those beautiful breasts for me. -E_ **

  
I laid the phone down on my stomach, let my eyes slip shut, and did as he told me. I pictured Edward’s perfect, strong hands holding me, caressing me. I felt a soft warmth flutter down to the pit of my stomach, and my nipples reacted by constricting. I moaned. My phone vibrated against my skin and it made me jump.

**_What do you want me to do, baby? -E_ **

 

 _Touch yourself,_ I boldly typed out.

  
I continued to fantasize about the feel of his hands, his lips, and his tongue on my breasts. I pictured his hand gliding down beneath the waist band of his boxers and gripping himself. _That_ image shot directly to my lady bits, and I felt a damp heat begin to pool between my legs.

**_I can feel your hands on me. So soft and warm. I can feel you pumping me, baby. I want to touch you, Bella. Take off your panties.-E_ **

      
Quickly, I shimmied out of the yellow panties and got comfortable again. My hands swept over my body, touching, tickling, and causing goose bumps to blossom.

_Panties have been laid to waste at my feet. Touch me, Edward. I want your fingers inside me.-B_

 

**_Show me how you wanted to be touched.-E_ **

  
A charge of pure excitement coursed through me. This was something I had definitely never done before. I took a deep breath and began to caress the wet creases between my thighs. I couldn’t help the breathy little sighs and moans that tumbled from me as I pictured Edward’s fingers exploring me. I pushed into my hand and moved my hips in small circles. The heat building in me grew bigger, more solid. I slipped two fingers inside and pumped slowly, rolling my hips in time with my hand. I picked up the phone, and with my free hand, took a quick picture of my fingers sliding into me. I sent it to Edward and laid the phone back down on my stomach.

**_My fuck, Isabella, you’re glorious. I’m framing that picture. Seriously. I’m close, baby. That picture nearly sent my over the edge. -E_ **

  
It took me awhile, but I typed out my response as I continued the push and pull rhythm I set.

_I wish you were here. I want you inside me. I want you touching and kissing me. I’m so wet, and my legs are shaking. I want to feel your weight on me, pushing into me, pounding into me, making me come.-B_

  
I could feel that hot bubble inside of me begin to quiver and quake, begging me to let it go. I let my mind provide images of Edward’s mouth on me, and my breathing kicked up a notch at the thought.   
  
My phone rang, not a text this time; Edward was calling.  
  
“Hello,” I answered in a breathy moan.   
  
“I had to hear your voice. Let me hear you lose control, baby.” He sounded a little breathless himself, and it spurred me on.   
  
I let the phone slide off the pillow. It sat between my shoulder and my ear. I pushed my thumb around my clit and hooked my fingers inside of me. I brought one knee up and pushed my fingers in a little farther. “Fuck, Edward.”  
  
“Keeping going, babe,” he panted into the phone. “My dick is so fucking hard for you, Bella. I want to come inside of you, make you mine.” His voice was all hushed whispers, but I could hear the desire in it. It was raw and needy, and it made my stomach quake and tighten.   
  
“I can feel your tongue on me, and your mouth and lips are on me, lapping at my pussy.”  
  
I listened as Edward came, whispering my name. And though I continued to work myself, I’d lost that bubble of heat. This was going to be just like every other time. Edward or no Edward. I reached a point where my body no longer responded. I lost that tingling sensation, and the heat dropped away from my body.  
  
“Son of a bitch,” I groaned as I slipped my fingers out of me and pressed the phone to my ear with my clean hand. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and stood. I marched toward the en-suite bathroom to wash my hands.  
  
“What’s the matter, Bella?” Though his voice was a tad raspy, I could hear the concern laced through it.   
  
“Edward, I’m gonna go to bed. I’ll see you Sunday.” I felt tears run down my face, and I huffed.   
  
“No wait, Bella, wait happened? Talk to me.”  
  
“I can’t, Edward.” I wiped my hands off, walked back to the bed, and sank to the mattress.  
  
“You can’t talk to me?” I heard water running in the back ground, and his voice had a bit of an echo to it.   
  
“No, I mean I can’t come, Edward. I haven’t been able to get myself off for years. I guess I thought with you on the line I’d be able to.” I searched and groped under the covers for my underwear and jerked them back into place.   
  
“Oh, baby, I’m sorry. We’ll fix that, I promise. Can you tell me what happens, what it feels like?”   
  
Irritated, I slithered back under the covers and tucked them up to my neck. I sighed. “I can normally get myself going just fine, but it either peters out quickly and I lose the sensation, or it goes on forever and it takes way too damn long to even get close to the finish line,” I explained, internally cursing my defective body.   
  
“It sounded like you were getting close.”  
  
“I was, and believe me when I say an orgasm would have been welcomed. But like I said, the sensation doesn’t last.” I stared straight up at the ceiling and watched the moon light play shadows. The tree outside the window cast an eerie shadow that stretched and reached clear across the room like thin, withering, outstretched arms. When the breeze blew, the arms trembled.   
  
“And you can’t get it back? I’m more than willing to whisper dirty little words in your ear all night long and send you lewd pictures of me if it gets you off.” I could hear the smile in his voice, and I knew if I said the words, he’d stay on the phone all night long trying like the devil to bring me to climax.   
  
“No, that usually results in more frustration, pruned fingers, and a slightly sore pussy. Thanks, but I’ll pass on that, babe.”

**_~~^~~_ **

**EPOV**  
It was breaking my fucking heart there was nothing I could do. I was stuck at work, and she was at home upset and unsatisfied. I could understand if she maybe felt a little nervous or apprehensive about the whole phone sex thing and caught a case of performance anxiety, but this was another beast altogether.   
      
_“Dr. Cullen to ER STAT! Dr. Cullen to ER STAT!”_ I heard the page over the hospitals P.A. system.   
      
“Shit, baby, I have to go, they just paged me.” I tucked my shirt back into my pants, pulled my coat back on, and coiled my stethoscope around my neck.   
      
“I heard. Go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”   
      
“Good night, beautiful girl. I can’t wait to see you Sunday,” I said as I pulled the door of the on-call room open and rushed down the hallway. I was already thinking about all the things I was going to do to that woman.   
      
“Goodnight, Edward.”  
      
I slid the phone into my coat pocket and pushed the double doors open. Charlotte, a petite strawberry blonde nurse with big crystal blue eyes, met me just outside the emergency room’s nursing station.   
      
“Ambulance just brought him in. Thirty year old male, Caucasian, non-responsive to both verbal and painful stimuli,” she rattled off as we made our way to the room they wheeled him into. “Appears to have suffered massive trauma to the face and head and some bruising and minor tissue damage to his knees.”   
      
“Okay, page X-ray and line up a CT, Charlotte.”   
      
“On it,” she said as we breached the room.   
  
Two other nurses were working over him, one jotting things down in a cart and the other moving swiftly and confidently around the gurney, taking vitals.   
  
“Blood pressures low—91 over 42—respirations are even. Lungs sound clear,” Liam shouted.   
  
My brain worked to absorb the information being hurled at me.   
  
“On three… One, two, three…” The two EMT’s transferred him from the gurney he was brought in onto a bed with smooth practiced motions.      
  
“Any identification on him?” I asked as I drew closer to the bloodied and bruised man on the bed.   
      
The nurse in charge, Liam, an excellent nurse in his mid forties, was the first to reply. “Michael Newton.”   
      
My knees almost gave way when I’d heard the name. Isabella’s husband was in my ER with life threatening injuries.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just going to give you guys a heads up that the next chapter or so are going to be a little emotional. Thanks for reading and tell me what you’re thinking.


	21. A Small Town Hate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *No infringement intended, all belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I do, however, own the plotlines to this particular story as well as a serious love for all things chocolate.*  
> WARNING: This chapter may be a little emotional and the themes are a bit intense. And again thanks to super RN, Kat, for help with the medical stuffs.  
> Thanks for stickin’ with me this far. I love you all, hard!  
> Oh check out the End Notes, couple of announcements and shit.

**Chapter 20**

**~~^~~**

**A Small Town Hate**

**EPOV**

He was hardly recognizable; his face was swollen to such an extent that even if he had been conscious, he wouldn’t have been able to open his eyes.

“Michael Newton, are you sure?” I looked to Liam as I counted out his pulse.

“Yeah, Doc, his wallet was in his jeans pocket.”

“So we can rule out mugging. Are police involved yet?” I looked to the EMT.

He shook his head. “No one called the police. He phoned for the ambulance himself before he lost consciousness. We found him by his car in the parking lot at his store.”

“Charlotte, call Chief Swan immediately. Tell him his son-in-law is here then call this number…” I scrolled through my phone until I found Bella’s cell phone number, “…she’ll want to be here, and she’ll know who else to notify.”

“Who’s Bella?” Charlotte asked, taking my phone from me.

“She’s my girlfriend and his estranged wife.”

I took out a pen light and pried his left eye open. “Mike, can you hear me? If you can hear me, Mike, I want you to wiggle your fingers for me. Can you do that, Mike, wiggle your fingers?” His pupils indicated brain trauma, but until I had the scans in front of me, I wouldn’t have a clue how far it reached. I watched Mike’s hands as I worked over him. No movement. _Shit._  

“Charlotte, where the fuck is ultrasound? And I want a CT scan now! Call down and tell them we’re on the way. Liam, judging by the bruising and distension here, he’s got some internal bleeding. Set up a catheter and let’s keep an eye out for blood in the urine, please.” I probed gently along his rib cage, feeling for fractures, counting at least two on the right side.  “Looks like a fucking boot mark. Are you seeing this, Liam?” I pointed to the rather large mark on Mike’s lower abdomen. It was a deep red, and was slightly swollen.

“Yeah, that’s a boot mark, Dr. Cullen. Do you want me to grab the Polaroid?” he asked.

“Yeah, please,” I said to Liam.

“Michael, what happened to you?” I whispered, leaning over his body examining a deep laceration above his right eye. “Okay, go ahead and clean these. I’ll need to stitch the one above his eye.”

Charlotte buzzed back into the room. “CT is prepping the room, ultrasound will be waiting for us down there, and Chief Swan is on his way. As soon as we get him down stairs and situated, I’ll call Bella.” She was a quick young woman who handled stress like a pro. She was truly cut out for the emergency room. She was compassionate, effective, and efficient and those were all must haves in this profession.

“Thank you, Charlotte. Sorry about the F-bomb,” I apologized as we unlocked the wheels on his bed and began pushing him out of the room.

“No problem, Dr. C.”

Liam met the three of us at the elevator with the Polaroid camera. I pulled the sheet back, and he took pictures of the boot print, as well as Michael’s face, and the marks on his knees. “Looks like he was crawling, Doc.” He pointed to Mike’s knees.

“Jesus Christ, Michael,” I whispered as violent pictures played across my mind. Scenarios, that given the types of injuries he suffered, were both frightening and likely.

Once the elevator doors opened, an ultrasound technician grabbed the foot of his bed and helped to steer it into the hallway and into the CT room. “Okay, we can do this right here, Dr. Cullen. I’ll have the scans sent to your computer for review, and I paged Dr. Laden.”

“Thank you,” I said, looking at the badge hanging from her breast pocket, “Chloe.”

I briefed Chloe on my suspicion, and she quickly squeezed out blue jelly across the area, flipped the portable ultrasound machine, tapped on a few keys on the main board, and then ran her wand over his abdomen. “There, look, pooling. He’s bleeding.” Chloe pointed to the monitor and, sure enough there was a large area of the lower abdomen that was dark.

“Well, if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it must be internal bleeding. _Shit_. That area is pretty damned extensive too, but I don’t see anything in the urine, which is a bonus,” I said, looking down at the drainage bag Liam had set up at when he fitted the catheter.  “Dr. Laden’s en route?”  I asked, looking to Chloe.

“Yes, he should be here in about twenty minutes.”

“Alright, let’s roll him in and see what’s going on with that brain of his.” I was more than a little discouraged by the fact that Michael had yet to show any signs of responsiveness, and if the bleed in his abdomen was as extensive as it looked, he would very soon be undergoing surgery to stop from bleeding out.

After consulting Dr. Laden, the neurologist, and the general surgeon, Dr. Bevan, it was decided the priority was to get the bleeding in Michael’s abdomen under control. He had some minor swelling in his brain from the injuries, but no bleeds and no fractures were detected.

When I heard my name being called over the loud speaker, I left Michael in the capable hands of Dr. Bevan who had an O.R. booked and a team prepping the room as we spoke. I made my way back to the nursing station in the emergency room and was met with the worried looks of Isabella, Rosalie, Emmett, and who I presumed was Chief Swan.

“Edward, what happened, is he okay?” Bella asked.

“Chief, I think some men need to get down to Newton’s and check things out. Michael’s been assaulted. He’s being prepped for surgery right now to stop some pretty serious internal bleeding. He’s also got some swelling in his brain that we’re trying to get under control, but it’s minor, and we’re confident we can stop any further swelling. That aside, he has two fractured ribs and plenty of nasty looking scrapes and cuts littering his face and body—the worst of which I’ve already stitched up.”

Bella grabbed her father’s arm and began to sob. Her knees buckled, and both Rose and I reached out to grab her arm and hold her up.

“Bella, come sit down.” I waved toward the family waiting area and steered Bella into a seat. Rose sat down next to her and then dug a Kleenex out of her purse. Emmett and the Chief remained standing. “Bella, do you know of any allergies to medications he might have?” I asked.

“No, he doesn’t have any allergies.”

Emmett, though he looked tired, had his arms crossed over his chest and was looking down over the two ladies with concern set heavy on his face.

“Dr. Cullen, if you could show me to a phone, I’ll call the office and have my deputy in there in ten minutes.”

“Of course, this way, sir,” I said as I lead him back to the nurses’ station.

“Liam, if you could hand over those pictures to Chief Swan here, that’d be great.” Liam reached into his pocket and removed a small pile of photos and quickly handed them to the Chief.

“Christ, that’s boot print,” he remarked as he flipped through the photos. He ran his hand through his hair and blew out a slow, long breath of air. I looked at his features carefully, and I could see hints of Bella. Their relation was most evident in the colour of his eyes. They were the same deep chocolate brown as Isabella’s. They were equally as expressive. He was angry and worried, and I could see hints of conflict racing through his face. He wanted to hate Michael for what he’d done to Bella, but he would never wish this on someone. He was a man of the law, and a father, and he had loved Michael like a son for years.

“Yes, sir, that’s what I thought.”

“Charlie, you can call me Charlie, son.” He held out his hand, and I shook it. He had a firm grip, but his palms were sweating.

“Edward, and under normal circumstances, I would have said that it was nice to meet you.” I gave him a slight smile.

“Edward, can I say something?”

“Of course,” I said as I looked him in the eye.

He shifted his weight back and forth for a moment before he spoke. “She likes you. She’s told me as much. But, she can’t take much more crap in her life right now. You seem like a decent man, but I have to say, I don’t mind hurting you if things come to that. Understand me, son?” he said in a matter-of-fact tone. He wasn’t trying to intimidate me in the least; he was speaking as a father who would do anything to protect his only daughter from further heartache, and I very much admired him for it.

“Understood, sir,” I said, nodding in agreement.

Charlie called the police department and had a small team of officers sent over to begin the investigation. “...Right, he’s got security cameras set up both inside and outside that store. I want those tapes in my office in the next two hours. Tell Mark to head to the family’s home, please. Carole and Stephen are going to want to be here when their son gets out of surgery.”

When he finished on the phone, he went to join his daughter in the waiting room while I went to attend to the new patient that had just been brought in. A nine month old baby with a high fever. I told Charlie I would update them as often as I could.

**_~~^~~_ **

**CPOV**

“Edward said he’d be back when he could, honey, but he’s got patients to see.” I looked at my daughter sitting with her arms wrapped around the middle of her body. She looked so tiny to me.

“Did you call Carole?” she asked. Her voice was thick with tears, and her face was all swollen from crying.

“Mark is on his way there now, baby. I’m sure they’ll be here soon.” I sat on the other side of her, Rose rubbed Bella’s arm and gave me a weak smile.

“Good.” She looked down at the floor and nodded.

“Emmett would you mind doing a coffee run, son. I’m sure we could all use some caffeine right about now.”

Emmett jumped up out of chair, hands in his pockets. “Sure thing, Charlie, what do you take in your coffee?”

“A little sugar, none of that fake sweetener shit.”

He smirked and shuffled out of the room, leaving me with the two girls.

“Someone found out, Dad,” Bella said in a voice so quiet it was nearly a whisper. “They found out, and they beat him.”

“Don’t go jumping to conclusions, Bella. We don’t know the whole story.” I didn’t want to admit that it sounded about right to me. Crime in these small cities was usually born of boredom, poverty, or hate. Edward had already informed me that they found his wallet on him and nothing appeared to be missing. That ruled out poverty. All that was left was boredom and hate, and in my experience the leap from one to the next was short indeed.

“I should have... if I’d just...” Bella’s chin was trembling, and she was fighting to keep herself in control. For me Bella’s always be consistent, easy to read. Everything was still directly connected to her tear ducts. Her emotional reactions hadn’t changed so much over the years 

“You should have _what_ , Bella? Stayed in an awful marriage? Pretended like he did? No, sugar, none of this is on you, so stop it right the hell now,” Rose barked at her. I always liked Rose. She was a straight shooter and possibly a saint for putting up with that husband of hers. Don’t get me wrong, Emmett was a great guy, but he still had a lot of growing up to do.

Bella grew silent again, and anyone who didn’t know any better would think she conceded to the point. We knew better. She was analyzing, looking for a way to make it her fault. Rose was on to her stoic routine and gave me an eye roll.

Nearly a half hour had passed, and Emmett had long since returned with the coffee before Bella spoke again. “I told Jake. And the baby shower…half the town knows.”

“So?” I knew where she was going with this.

“Everyone knows why we separated.  If I’d just kept my fucking _mouth shut_ no one would have known. This never would have happened.”    

“Charlie, did you happen to bring your taser gun with you?” Emmett asked in a calm, even voice.

“No, Em, I didn’t.” I huffed.

“Maybe we can get one of the nurses to sedate Bells then. She’s talkin’ bullshit, Charlie.”

“Screw you, Emmett. You’re not the one—” Bella’s words were cut short by the arrival of Mr. and Mrs. Newton.

I stood and straightened my shirt. “Carole, Stephen,” I greeted.

“Charlie, is he…” Carole was already crumbling. She clung to her husband for support.

“He’s in surgery,” I said, reaching out and touching her arm.

Bella appeared by my side. “He was assaulted at the store. He has a lot of injuries and internal bleeding. That’s what they’re trying to fix right now. They mentioned some swelling in the in brain due to his injuries, but they don’t seem as concerned about that. The doctor said the bleeding was the priority. Dad’s got a few men at the store, investigating.” She sounded so put together when she spoke, and that scared me a little.

“Why the hell are you here? You left him,” Stephen spat. I was tempted to punch him in the face, but I figured that whatever Bella was sitting on was likely far more deadly than anything physical I could dole out. 

“Stephen, don’t start,” Carole warned. I respected the hell out of this woman. The look she gave could bring the devil to his knees.

“No, Carole, she’s the reason my son is on a goddamn operating table right now.”

“You’re right, I probably am. But maybe, just maybe, if your son felt safe talking to you, neither one of us would be here. You can stand there, point your finger in my face, and I’ll gladly take whatever blame I’m due. But you need to shoulder some of that, too. If he wasn’t so goddamn _afraid_ of what his parents and the community thought of him, I’d be happily married to someone else rather than going through a divorce at thirty years old. You’d have a happy son, who might be in a committed relationship, and neither one of us would be in a hospital wondering if he’s going to be okay.” She exhaled when she finished and wiped the rapidly falling tears from her face.  

I looked at Stephen and he looked defeated. I was right. The blow to his ego was worse than the one that would have landed on his jaw.

“Bella, darling, I don’t blame you. I’ve had plenty of good, long talks with Michael since you left. You’re right, we didn’t always have the most open door policy when the boys were growing up. We _all_ should have talked more, _listened_ more.” Carole looked directly at Stephen when she said that, and I swore on the Seattle Mariners shortstop I saw his knees knock. Like I said, that woman could bring the devil to his knees. “But, darling, this might have happened regardless. Whether he’d come out or not, we don’t know this wouldn’t have happened. So you need to let it go. We can start pointing fingers and laying blame when we find the people responsible. Right now we’re here because we _all_ care about Michael, so let’s focus on that, okay.”  

She was good. Not only did she put her husband in his place, but she stopped Bella’s guilt trip dead in its tracks. This woman was chalked full of gumption and had balls to boot.

“Stephen, go call Paul and Corrina and tell them what’s going on. Michael’s going to want to see his family when he wakes up.” With that, she pulled Bella back to the chairs and sat down next to her. She held Bella’s hand and offered a small smile to both Rose and Emmett.

“Well, baby, I’m going to head to the station for a while. We both know the longer I sit here and do nothing, the crankier I’ll get. Keep me posted, okay, kiddo.”

“I will, Dad,” she said, looking up from her chair.

“Emmett, take care of my baby. Rose, keep him in line, would ya?” I winked at them both and left the hospital.

When I got to the cruiser, I radioed the station to see who was there. “Hey, boys and girls, this is your Chief talking. I’m on my way in, who wants what?”

The radio crackled and I heard Miranda’s voice. “Hey, Chief. Mark’s on his way in. How’s he doing?” Miranda was our dispatcher, and she normally only worked days, but I had a feeling the whole team would be there when I rolled in.

“Miranda, why aren’t you at home with that beautiful little girl of yours?”

“Josie woke up and while I was rocking her back to sleep, I heard the call over the scanner. I knew damn good well every officer would be in tonight, and you know these boys can’t be trusted, so I handed Josie over to her daddy and came on over,” she explained.

“Owning a police scanner is illegal, Miranda,” I chastised in a teasing tone. “And he’s in surgery. He was banged up pretty bad, kid.”

“Sorry to hear it, Charlie.”  

“So how many coffees am I picking up?” I asked as I made my way out of the visitor parking lot. _That street light needs to be replaced_ , I thought to myself as I looked up at the dead bulb that hung over the hood of the car. It was meant to illuminate the crosswalk in front of me.

“I’ve already got the coffee. How about you pick up some doughnuts for us?” _She’s too good to me._ She always has fresh coffee going, and most of the time she comes in with an armful of baked goods too.

“Deal, see you in a few.” I put the handset back in its place and headed for the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts. There was a twenty-four hour one a block away from the station, which, I’m sure was the only reason it’s still in business.

After tossing the doughnuts down on the counter in the staff room, Mark and I went to the back room to review the tapes he pulled from Newton’s.

“So what’s the deal?” I asked, sipping on my coffee.

“The spray paint on the side of the store leaves no doubt in mind we’re dealing with a hate crime,” Mark affirmed as he pulled the digital camera out his pocket.

I shuffled through the images and nodded. Small town hate strikes again. The words ‘fagot’ and ‘cocksucker’ were spray painted across the walls of the north side of the building, facing the parking lot. I shook my head, disappointed by the ignorance and lack of originality. It had all been done before. The insults were old and the act was based solely on ignorance. We always feared what we didn’t fully understand.

We sat down with the surveillance tapes and went through each one until we found what we were looking for.  “I should have fucking known,” I spat as I pointed my pen tip to the images of the two boys on the screen in front of me.

“The Call boys, Embry and Demetri,” Mark confirmed.

“They were adopted when they were seven, but the more I get to know these boys, the more I think they should have been drowned at birth. This will be the fifth time, but this time it’s not about disturbing the peace at 2 a.m., or mischief, it’s a damn felony assault charge. Oh, Mom and Pop will be real proud,” I seethed, tossing the pen down on the table.

****

**_~~^~~_ **

**BPOV**

More than two hours had passed since they brought Michael into the O.R. His brother Paul was on his way from Seattle, and Rose had since passed out on Emmett’s lap. Mr. and Mrs. Newton took turns pacing, and occasionally Mr. Newton would lose his cool and moan about no one having come to update them yet. I just sat quietly and waited. Sitting with no distractions left a lot of time for thinking.

I blindly stared at a cheap oil painting hanging on the wall across for me. It was your typical calm waters at sunset type of painting in various shades of nauseating pastels with a hideous gold frame encasing it. The scene brought me back to our honeymoon.

We sat on the beach in South Carolina, sipping Long Island Iced Teas and watching as the sun tucked itself away for the day. I remembered feeling good in that moment, happy. Of course, looking back, it may have been due to the wonderful amount of booze coursing through my veins. I was sitting and watching one of the most beautiful sunsets I’d ever seen, and next to me was a man I loved more than my own life.

That was the night we’d finally consummated our marriage. Of course, it didn’t matter what I’d worn —or didn’t wear, for that matter— there was no enticing my husband back to bed. Happy was quickly snuffed out and replaced with a quiet frustration.

Edward made me happy. He made me the kind of happy they wrote about in those stupid happily-ever-after romance novels peddled at every bookstore in the world. True love and romance was a pretty universal theme, and everyone wanted in on it. Even the most bitter harpies dreamed of passion that swept them off their feet.

“Bella?” I came back from my mental stumbling to see Edward standing in front of me.

“Oh, I’m sorry I was lost there. Is he out of surgery yet?” I stood up and put myself at a casual distance from Edward. I was very aware of the heavy judgment vibes rolling away from Mr. Newton right now. _He’d do well to rein that in before Carole catches him. She might make him stand in the corner or something._

“No, not yet, but I would venture to guess that he’ll be out in the next half hour or so. I spoke to Dr. Bevan and she said everything is going very well. His vitals are strong and healthy. She will come and talk to you all just as soon as she can.” Edward turned to address the Newton’s. “Dr. Bevan is an excellent surgeon. She’s incredibly skilled. Your son is in good hand with her.”

“Take a walk with me while I have moment,” he requested and nodded toward the door. Again, Mr. Newton tossed daggers at me as I walked passed him, Edward’s hand on the small of my back.

Just as I breached the threshold of the door, I caught the ear tug Carole gave to Stephen with a warning look, I was sure would have most eighth graders shivering where they stood. Carole was good at doling out the ‘shut your mouth’ looks. She taught eighth grade for the last ten years of her teaching career. Inspiring fear was part of her repertoire.

I chuckled and rounded the corner into the corridor. “How are you? I’m sorry. It’s been pretty busy since Mike was brought in,” he apologized, ridiculously.

“I’m okay. Things got a little dramatic in there for a little while, but Mrs. Newton’s like some kind of ninja. She’s quick to keep everyone in line.”

“My shift is over at nine, in about an hour in a half, if you’d like to come home with me. I live closer, and you look like you’re dead on your feet.”

“I just might take you up on that offer, Dr. Cullen.” I leaned into him and inhaled the strange scent that engulfed him. His smell was all wrong. There was no cinnamon, chocolate, or mint, and very little Edward. What was left was a hermetic, stale smell that was heavily laced with disinfectant and illness. I could smell the hand sanitizer on him, and I could smell sickness clinging to him. “You smell like sick people,” I said, winkling my nose.

“You’re absurd, Isabella, sick people don’t have a _smell_ ,” he said as he kissed the top of my head.

“They do, and you smell like sick people.”

“You can’t smell illness, Bella.” His smile was crooked and cute, and he was making fun of me. _Bugger._   

“I can and when we get home you’re taking a shower before you get into bed. Wash the sick off you.”

“Anything you say, Isabella.” He kissed my nose and told me he’d meet me in the family lounge when he was finished.

As I headed back the way I came, my phone rang. Checking the caller ID, I saw that my father was calling me.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Bella, are you still at the hospital?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Are the Newtons still there?”

“Yes.”

“Can you put me on speaker phone so I’m not having to repeat myself?”

I pulled the door of the family lounge open and faced the Newton’s. “Sure, hold on, Dad.” I pulled the phone away from my face and hit the button so they could all hear his voice. “Okay, Dad, you’re on speaker, and the Newton’s are right here. Go ahead.”

Carole and Stephen shuffled closer, and Emmett woke Rosalie up.

“Carole, Stephen, can you hear me all right?” My dad’s voice filed the room. Projection was never an issue for him.

“Yes, Charlie, we can all hear you,” Stephen answered as he fished his hands out of his pockets.

“We pulled the tapes from the store, and my deputy and I reviewed them hoping we’d catch the assault on video.  Not only did the cameras catch every moment of it, but it gave us a perfect shot of the assailant’s faces. Embry and Demetri Call were picked up about a half hour ago and charged with vandalism, hate crimes under the Matthew Shepard Act, and aggravated assault. Demetri is also being charged with attempting to injure an officer of the law and attempting to evade. Bugger put up a good fight, but Mark was quicker.”

I watched as an invisible weight lifted off the shoulders of both of the Newtons. Knowing that they would be held responsible for their actions, and this wouldn’t be just another cold case, offered me a bit of comfort. I exhaled in relief.

“Oh, thank you, Charlie. Thank you. You certainly didn’t have to spend your evening worrying over my son, or the people that hurt him, but I’m more than glad you did.”

“Not a problem, Carole. How’s your boy doing?”

“He’s still in surgery, but Dr. Cullen came to speak to us briefly. He assured me that Michael was in good hands and should be out of surgery shortly.”

“You’ll let me know how he fairs?’ Charlie asked.

“Of course, Chief,” Stephen answered.

“Good, good. Alright, Bells, you can take me off speaker.”

I clicked the button and brought the phone back to my ear. “That’s good news, Dad.”

“Yeah, so since you’re pretty close to home, feel free to head there when you’re done at the hospital.” I could hear the concern in his voice.

“That’s all right, Dad, I’m going home with Edward when his shift is done. He doesn’t live far from here either.” I vaguely registered the faint sound of a chest being smacked and wondered which one got it: Emmett for an inappropriate look or comment, or Stephen for another nasty glare.

“Er, hmm, okay. Well, in that case, call me later, okay?”

“Sure, Dad. Love you.” I said, walking back to the chair that had been my resting place for the last few hours.

“Bye, kiddo, I love you too.”

I slid the phone into my purse, slunk down into the chair and went right back staring at the painting across from me. I wasn’t sure how those two small town delinquents found out, but they did, and they used their juvenile, narrow minded view of what they thought was acceptable to fuel them. Their bodies became their weapons and their prejudice their motivation.

And here I was, seething with hate. _Hi kettle, I’m hypocrisy_. I didn’t hate _them_ , per se, but I certainly hated their actions. I took comfort in the fact they’d been caught, they would be made to pay, and —most of all—they were stuck in lock-up with a few over worked, under-paid cops who happened to be part of _my_ extended family. A sly smile grew when I thought about how very uncomfortable those two boys would be right about now.

**_~~^~~_ **

A gentle nudge ripped me from the horrible dream I’d been having. I sat up, stalk straight, my eyes as wide as saucers and looked around the room. Emmett had been sitting beside me, and judging by the dark wet spot on his upper arm, he’d been serving as my pillow.

“Bella, this is Dr. Bevan, Michael’s surgeon.” Edward motioned to the petite brunette standing next to him. She looked to be in her forties, with thin burgundy wire frames perched on the bridge of her nose. She had laugh lines around her eyes that were pronounced by the gentle smile she wore.

I stood up and extended my hand to greet her. “Hello, Doctor, how is Michael doing?”

She shook my hand with a firm, comforting grip. “He did very well. We managed to stop the bleeding and repair the lacerations to both his spleen and liver. Though, admittedly we almost missed the tear on his liver, it was so very tiny. He’s sleeping comfortably, and he’ll likely be out cold for a few more hours. We gave him some great drugs,” she explained with a wink and a smile.

“Dr. Laden, the neurologist, will reassess him when he wakes up. He’s been breathing on his own, and he is not showing any other signs of distress at the moment. So as far as the issue of brain injury goes, we’ll have to wait and see.” She pushed her small, but obviously capable hands into her white lab coat.

“What do you mean we’ll have to _wait and see_? What kind of brain injuries are we looking at?” Stephen asked. His body was rigid with stress.

“That’s a tricky question to answer, Mr. Newton. The brain is a complicated thing, and it depends on what areas were most affected, if any at all. Given that the swelling was minimal and has been rapidly decreasing, if there is any injury, I would venture a guess and say it would likely be temporary,” she advised. “However, this is not my area of expertise. Dr. Laden can discuss this further with you when he has the chance to reassess your son.” 

“Can we see him?” Carole asked, looking between Edward and Dr. Bevan.

“Of course, third floor and head to the left when you come off the elevator. Ask the clerk at the nursing station what room they’ve put him in.”

Both Mr. and Mrs. Newton extended hands to Dr. Bevan and thanked her, both bolting from the room. Paul was close on their heels when I caught him by the arm and asked him wait for just one moment.

Edward backed away with Dr. Bevan to give me room.

“Paul, if he wakes, tell him I was here. Tell him I’ll come by tomorrow. Tell him I’m sorry.” I hung my head and tears pooled in the corners of my eyes.

Paul straightened up, pulling his shoulders back. Taking a deep breath he said, “I’ll tell him you were here all night, I’ll tell him you’ll be back, but I won’t apologize on your behalf.”

Shocked, my head snapped up to look Paul in the eyes. “I…I understand.” My voice crumbled, and I hugged myself in an attempt to sooth my shaky frame.

“No, Bella, you don’t,” he said, his voice was harsh and clipped. He put a hand on my shoulder, and I half expected him to shake me, but instead the gesture felt incredibly comforting. “I’m not apologizing for you because there’s _nothing_ to apologize for. Neither of you have done anything worthy of the shit Mike’s gone through. You’re not the reason he’s here, Bella. Go home, go to bed, and we’ll see you soon, I’m sure. Oh, and don’t let Dad talk to you like that, eh?” He gave me a stern, brotherly look. “Mom told me he tired to lay into you earlier tonight, tried to blame you. She also said you set him right.” His brow picked up and a gentle smirk graced his tired face.  “Good, the old man needs to be put in his place from time to time. Don’t take any shit from him, Bella.”

Before leaving the room to join his family, he gave me quick kiss on the top of my head and a gentle squeeze of my shoulders to let me know he was there, that he hadn’t eased me from his life.

I said my goodbyes to Rose and Emmett and promised them I would call later.

Less than a half hour later, Edward was carrying my sleep addled body up the stairs to his bed. I could still smell sick people and hospital clinging to him, but I was far too exhausted to do more than curl into his warm embrace.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, we made a quick sharp turn off Happy Lane right onto Shit that Sucks Avenue, but it’s just a detour. We’ll make our way back. Promise. Thanks for reading! And no this never happened to my Mike, but we all know that it’s not farfetched in the least. Unfortunately. 
> 
> Next: I’ve entered the Driven to Desire Challenge, which is being hosted on FFN (links can be found on TwiFic Central in the contest news area). It’s an anonymous contest with a lot of great entries, scoot on over and see if you can find me. http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3896678/Driven_To_Desire_Challenge  
> ~That is all~  
> MissJanuary


	22. Venom Absolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: * I have a mild obsession with Twilight, but I do not have the rights to it. No infringement intended*
> 
> Validation quickness provided by: Nikkipattinson
> 
> 21 chapters in, so I don’t think I need to remind you all why it’s rated NC-17. 
> 
> I almost named this chapter after the song I have quoted at the top of the chapter. It fit so very well, but I liked the way this sounded better.
> 
> Check out End Notes for Reader War results

_Out of the darkness and into the cold_

_trying to take something_

_that's good for the soul_

_watching the chances scatter and fall_

_and spinning the wheel_

_cause you've lost control_

_and we can dance, dance the poison_

_right out of your soul_

_and we can dance, dance the devil_

_back into his hole_

_~Dance the Devil Back Into His Hole by **The Frames~**_

 

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Chapter 21**

**_~~^~~_ **

**Venom Absolution**

 

**EPOV**

 

I lay there and listened to the breaths that skipped and hitched. I listened to the mumbling and guilt-ridden, soft voice. I listened as she relived the events of the evening, and I heard the admissions of guilt and fear tumble from her mouth. It ripped at my insides to hear those things, to hear she felt such deep guilt over what had happened to Michael and feared that it would happen again. She was afraid that he wouldn’t wake up, afraid the same prejudice would be extended to her.  Quiet and still I stayed, letting her mind work through her fears.

 

She told me about the conversation she had with Mike on Tuesday and how she’d laid it all bare for him. I was proud of her and how she handled herself. But now some of that guilt and anger was starting seep into her. Michael’s assault had brought everything to the fore front again, and she barely had time to process the change in their relationship.

 

“I can’t … I don’t know how …” Her voice faded into the pillow and suddenly tears began to roll down her pink cheeks.

 

I couldn’t sit there any longer and watch as she sobbed, clutching at the pillow beneath her as though it offered her some sort of life line. I sat up, tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear, and said her name. The sobs only came harder, and the bed shook with each heave of her chest.

 

“Bella, baby, you need to wake up. Please,” I pleaded with her. I stroked her cheek, her neck, and gently squeezed her shoulder. “Isabella, wake up, beautiful girl.” She began to shift and move beneath the sheet, her face turned toward me. Tear streaked, and blotchy, she still looked utterly stunning.

 

“I’m sorry,” she grumbled. “I… must have…” She wiped the tears from her face, blushing in embarrassment.

 

“You were crying, and you sounded so sad and so upset. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I’m sorry I woke you,” I explained, tracing the patterns of light filtering in through the window on her back and shoulders with my fingertips.

 

“What did I say?” she asked, pressing her face into the pillow.

 

“You were upset about what had happened to Mike. You were afraid for him, afraid of the things that have yet to happen.”

 

She flipped on to her back and stared straight up at the ceiling above her. She laced her fingers together and dropped her hands to her stomach. “After Charlie called and said the Call boys had been charged with Michael’s assault, I began to think of just how hypocritical I was. I hate what they did to him, I hate _why_ they did what they did. But, really, how different _am I_? _I_ hate what Michael did to me, and I’ve thought about ripping him limb from limb just so he’d feel a little pain. You know he’s apologized, but it doesn’t feel like _enough._ He couldn’t possibly understand what this has done to me, the way it’s turned me inside out. I fucking hate him for that.” Her voice was so even and controlled, I flinched. It reminded me of the calm demeanor my mother would display as she doled out punishment for whatever asinine thing I’d done. It was terrifying to hear that kind of control and anger laced into such beautiful voice.

 

“I hate that he’ll never fully realize everything he took from me.” A new tear crept down the side of her face.

 

“And what, you think you’re horrible for feeling that way? That it makes you just as bad as the Calls?”

 

“Yes,” she whispered.

 

“Look at me, Bella,” I demanded. When her eyes flipped to me, I saw doubt, pain, and an old hurt that made my chest ache painfully. “What _you feel_ and what _they_ _did_ are not the same. Not even on the same playing field, Isabella Marie.” I placed my hand over hers and searched her eyes, hoping she would hear the truth in that. “You’ve been hurt, Bella. You’re allowed to feel wounded, angry, and yes, a little vengeful. The difference between them and you is that you don’t act on those fears and hate. Although…”

Her face softened but became curious at my last statement.   

 

“Although …? What, Edward?”

 

“Maybe you _should_. Maybe you need to let out that anger in a more physical way. I mean, if it’s seeping into your dreams, maybe you need a better avenue for release.”

 

**_~~^~~_ **

**BPOV**

I sat there and stared at Edward. _Was he seriously implying I should take it out on Mike?_

“You’re kidding me right? You’re not serious?”

 

“Dead serious, Bella. And unscrew your face,” he said, his own face puckered in distaste. “I don’t mean you should head on over to the hospital, bat in hand, and have at him like some kind of pinata. But I do think you’ve got a lot of hurt in there that _needs_ to get out. So, let it out.”

 

I blinked a few times, feeling a little dumbfounded. “And what exactly are you suggesting?” _This ought to be good_ , I thought, looking up into his green eyes. I caught a flash of something very puckish in them, and it kind of made me nervous. I sat up slowly, waiting for his answer.

 

“I think you need to get mad, Bella. Really…fucking…mad,” he said slowly and carefully.

 

“Yeah, ‘cause I haven’t travelled down _that road_ several times in the last few weeks. I feel like I’m teetering between control and total breakdown most of the time, Edward.”

 

“But how often do you really lose control, Bella? How often do you really let that anger boil over and take the reins? Just lose yourself to it.”

 

For a moment I thought Edward had lost his marbles. The thought of letting that venom burn through my veins, giving over to the sting and just reacting rather than push it down, was intoxicating. I could almost feel it began to curl around my tissue, seep into my organs. It made my pulse push harder.

 

“How, Edward?”

 “Yell, scream, do whatever you think you need to. Take it out on me, Isabella. You’re safe here with me. You can behave however you need. Say whatever you need to say. Just give yourself over to that anger… just this once. I promise not to judge.”  

 

I thought about the times I’d spent at the gym and the way my muscles worked to push the anger and bitterness away. The way it receded and dissolved as my body worked up a hard sweat. Even then I knew it was a temporary fix. I knew that the poison would trickle back eventually. That was the thing about anger, about hate— it was insidious. It would always come creeping back, and it normally did so while I was alone and quiet, when my mind was left to its own devices.

 

Suddenly Edward was straddling me. _Huh_? “Um, I know anger and passion are close relatives and all, but in this particular case, I don’t think …” 

 

“Stop talking, Isabella,” Edward barked in a rough, authoritative voice. It startled me more than a little bit.

 

He made no move at all, no move to kiss me or touch me. Nothing. He stared headlong into my eyes, and it made me increasingly uncomfortable. I wiggled beneath him, but his thighs only worked like a vice. He kept me firmly planted to the mattress.

 

“Are you just going to sit there and stare at me?” I asked, liquid sarcasm dripped from my words.

 

He said nothing, just continued to stare. His face was impassive.

 

“Edward, get off me,” I demanded.

 

Nothing. Not even a twitch to indicate that he _thought_ about moving.

 

I could feel that familiar burn begin to slither through my body. It took up residence in the soft tissues and the surface of my skin at first, making me flush with heat.

 

“Edward, move, now!” I barked as I propped myself up on my elbows.

 

“Unless you have something useful to say, Isabella, stop talking.”

 

I couldn't believe my ears. The boy pretty much told me to shut up.

 

_Why would he say something like that?_ __

 

My brain was a little slow on the up-take it seemed. The realization dawned on me a moment or two later, and a sweet smile broke across my face. He _wanted_ to piss me off. He was trying to evoke a response in me. I understood what he was doing and with that realization the hateful, burning liquid that had begun to pump through my body, receded. I felt it being sucked away little by little.

 

“I get it, Edward. Nice try, really, but I don’t know that pissing me off and me throwing some epic temper-tantrum is going to put a dead stop to the things I’m feeling.”

 

He smiled faintly, leaned forward and kissed my forehead. Sitting back on his heels again, he looked down at me.

 

_Jig is up, buddy. Now move._

 

I huffed. “Edward, I get what you’re trying to do, but I’m really starting to lose my patience. Move.” My words came out terse, and I could feel the heat in my cheeks flare up again.

 

“No,” he said, his voice whisper soft.

 

I pushed at his shoulders, but still he did not move. I tried to roll him off of me, but his muscles had locked down making my attempt ineffectual.

 

“Edward!” I hollered, and hoped he took notice of the _fuck-off_ look on my face. But, of course, he didn’t flinch. He actually looked bored with the whole thing and _that_ pissed me off more than it should have.

 

The burning venom flooded me in waves and seared through tissue, stung my skin, and gnawed at my veins. I began to struggle beneath him with more vigor as the heat coursed through me, fuelling me.

 

“Get the fuck off me, Edward Cullen!” My voice was a hard screech as I pushed against his firm chest.

 

“No,” was his simple and infuriating response.

 

I swatted at his arms and thrashed beneath him. He pinned my hands above my hand and continued to look at me as though he could see right through me, as if I was invisible.

 

There was a sick kind of dichotomy going on inside of me. Part of me was supremely angry with him in that moment, and that part was lashing out and tried like the devil to free herself. The other part of me —not as small as I’d like it to be—was excited. Turned on. I didn’t want my nasty, mean, venom fuelled side commingling with the side that wanted to screw Edward raw. It seemed oh-so very wrong for those two feelings to be warring inside me.

 

The longer I struggled, the more gall poured into my system. My words became bitter, clipped demands and shouts. None of which Edward reacted to in the least.

 

Images, like a quickly moving slide show, began to rush in. Assaulting my mind’s eye and throwing me into my past.

 

_“Marry me, Isabella Swan…”_

_A memory, a routine. Me sitting on the edge of the tub in the bathroom, in the middle of the night, silently crying and wondering why my husband wasn’t able to draw pleasure from my body._

_A long cold needle sliding into the soft flesh of my lower abdomen, and a quiet prayer that this would be the last time I would have to endure this._

_A negative pregnancy test._

_Reallybeautifulmen.com_

_“Marry me, Isabella Swan …”_

 

Suddenly, I became so intensely enraged I could hardly control the odious words that poured from my mouth. “I fucking hate you!” And with those words, fury completely took over, and I was angry enough to spit. And I did. I spat in Edward’s face and screamed as hot, incensed tears ran down my face in torrents.

 

He let my arms go, and they dropped with a soft thud on either side of me. Quickly, my hands became fists, balled tightly and hard. My chest heaved and I swung. I pounded and pushed my fists against his chest again and again. He didn’t make a single move to restrain me. My hands slapped his naked chest, no doubt leaving marks, and I shoved against him hard. Rasped, aggressive breaths pushed forth and burned my lungs. My eyes fluttered shut as I spoke. “I hate…what you _did to me_ ,” I seethed between sobs.

 

_Slipping the gold band onto his finger as I vowed to love him until death came to part us._

 

“I loved you…and you fucking _lied_ to me! You lied…and didn’t even think.” I swatted at Edward again, though I could feel the fight leaving me.

 

_Closing the door behind me as I left that night. Hearing the click of the lock and leaving everything we were supposed to be, sitting alone in that house with no one but Michael to hold on to._

 

“I hate you…what you did… what you’re _doing_. _It’s not fair!_ ” My voice cracked and faltered, and I heaved a long sigh. I could feel my whole body trembling as the anger began to fade.

 

_Michael lying in a hospital bed. Hate had bruised and battered him._

 

I looked up at Edward with spit still marring his captivating face. “Oh, oh my God!” I brought my hand to my mouth and felt my fingertips tremble against the soft, damp skin of my lips. “I spat at you,” I said, ashamed.

 

I reached out to wipe it away from his face, but he brushed my hand away gently. “It’s okay, Bella.”  He wiped his face clean with his t-shirt and gave me a soft smile.

 

“It’s not okay, Edward. I hit you and spat at you. That’s _not_ okay.”

 

Still straddling me, I felt his muscles loosen and the forced tension fade from his frame. He bent to kiss my lips, but I pushed my face to the side.

 

_Why would he want to kiss me when I behaved so awful? I spat in his face for shit’s sake!_   __

 

He retracted his leg and sat next to me on the bed, completely freeing me. “How do you feel, Bella?”

 

“How do I feel?” I repeated, incredulous. “I totally lost my shit and freaked out on you. I hit you, _repeatedly_ , and spat in your face! And you want to know how _I_ feel?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I _feel_ like an asshole. And you,” I said, glaring at him, wagging my index finger in his face. “You tricky, evil bastard. You shouldn’t have done that.”

 

“So you’re embarrassed about how you acted and maybe a little more than annoyed with me. But do you feel better?” He ran his warm fingertips up and down my bare arms.

 

_Did I feel better? Good question._   __

 

I sat up and gazed around the room as if the answer might be waiting somewhere in the air around me. I felt annoyed, a little, but mostly I felt drained. I felt as though someone had pulled the plug on me and drained me of almost all emotion. Not that I felt empty because I didn’t. I just no longer felt _so_ heavy and so jammed up with fear, anger, worry, and all things hateful. What Edward had done, though risky to our relationship and his manhood, effectively leached a good deal of that poison from my system.

 

“I feel lighter, and yes, better.” I crawled forward on the bed and kissed his soft lips. “Thank you, and I’m sorry.”

 

“Please don’t apologize. You needed it, and I told you that you were safe here with me, that you could say and do whatever you needed to do to get back a little of who you are.” 

 

For a moment I could do nothing but stare at this man. I was suddenly struck by just how safe I felt with him. I crawled up onto his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. I leaned forward and kissed his the tip of his nose. “You know, you should be repulsed by me. Not only did I _spit_ in your beautiful face, I got a little hot while you were holding me down. Sick, right?”

 

He chuckled and brought his hands to rest on either side of my waist. “No more deprived than my finding your…um…trashing a little _inspiring_.” He brought his lips to mine and kissed me softly.

 

“I’m keeping this t-shirt by the way,” I said, glancing down at the t-shirt he’d helped me into early that morning.

 

“Looks better on you anyway,” Edward said with a wink and crooked smirk.

 

_Goddamn that smirk. It’ll be the death of me, I’m sure of it._

“I think so, too.” I readjusted myself on his lap and he groaned softly in response. I loved that sound, and I wanted to hear it again. I raked my fingers through his messy copper hair, and his eyes fluttered shut. I smiled to myself, and slowly rolled my hips. Again, he groaned and this time was just a little louder than the last.

 

His nose skipped across the surface of skin, tracing up the side of my neck, and stopping just below my ear. Edward’s hot breath washed across me, sending a warm shiver racing up my spine. His insistent fingers dug in a little deeper as his grip on me firmed.

 

A slow heat began bloom in my belly spreading outward like ripples on a ponds surface.

 

He kissed and sucked at delicate skin and then brought his mouth to my ear. I could feel his tongue peek out to taste my earlobe. My eyes rolled in my head. When his teeth grazed at that same spot, I moaned. His response was a breathy chuckle. He planted soft, wet kisses along my cheek until his lips met with mine. Softly, slowly, we kissed.

 

My heart hammered in my chest as he ran a hand up my side, stopping just below my breast. I felt his thumb caress the underside first, before taking it into his hand and palming me completely. The heat of his hand seeped right through the faded green shirt to my flesh, warming it, exciting it.

 

As our lips continued to move, my need for more began to build. Rolling my hips with a little more pressure and speed, I drew him closer to me by his shoulders. My hands gripped him tightly, not wanting to let go.

 

“Isabella,” he moaned into my mouth.

 

I wanted his hands on me, warming me, caressing me. I sat back a bit and pulled Edward’s t-shirt over my head, letting it fall to the floor by the bed.

 

“My God you are something to see, Bella.” His jade eyes climbed over my torso, coming to a quick halt when they reached my chest.

 

For a split second I had the urge to cover myself, but that feeling of safety came over me like a warm blanket, and I simply allowed him to look, to drink me in. It felt amazingly erotic to be looked at in such a way. To have _his_ hungry, desire filled eyes selfishly devouring me inch by inch made my insides burn in the most heavenly way.

 

He brought his finger to rest on my navel and lazily dragged it up the centre of my body, causing a small shudder and goose bumps to ride the surface of my skin.

 

My nipples peaked as I watched his face.

 

When he reached the soft valley between my breasts, he stopped and splayed his whole hand between them. Warmth radiated from his touch, and for a moment I closed my eyes and focused on the hum that always ran between us, that current of benign electricity that pulsed and pulled through my body. It felt as though it were lighting me up from the inside. I felt like I might actually be glowing or sparkling at the very least.

 

“Your heart is beating so hard,” Edward murmured. 

 

I opened my eyes to find him staring intensely at his hand resting between my breasts.  “Can you feel that, Edward?” I asked, knowing damn well he could.

 

“Yes. I always feel it when I’m touching you or close to you. It feels amazing.”

 

I didn’t want to move, afraid I’d break that connection, but I very much wanted to be kissing him. I wanted my lips on his skin. I wanted that damn shirt off him! I softly touched his hand and then brought my hands to the hem of his shirt. I let my hands dance there, tickling at his sides for a moment or two before deliberately dragging the shirt up his torso.

 

When it came to him having to remove his hand from where it had been resting, he looked at me as though I’d asked him to chew off his hand. I sighed and shook my head. “Arms up,” I said, looking pointedly at the shirt.

 

Grudgingly, he pulled his hand away and allowed me to slide the shirt up and over his head. I chucked it as far away from the bed as I could.

 

He laughed at my antics.

 

“Clothing is so very overrated,” I whispered as I moved toward his supple, ruby lips. Clutching him to me, grinding my hips, I felt him harden beneath me, and it made me whimper.

 

I felt his hands travel up and down my back and slide around my waist. One hand found its way to the nape of my neck, pulling me closer to him, the other anchored on my left hip. My own hands mimicked his movements, exploring and gliding over the surface of his solid chest, skimming over the muscles of his shoulders and upper back. But they always found a way back to his hair.

 

Soon our kisses became heated, and each roll of my hips was met by an upward thrust. His erection slid up and down, caressing me, driving me completely insane.

 

_Sweet mother of sin, those fucking sleep pants needed to come off. Like really, really soon! And then possibly burned or buried somewhere in the woods._ __

 

I didn’t care that he tasted like morning breath and that he still smelled of hospital. I wanted him naked and hovering over me as soon as humanly possible.

 

“Oh, God!” I panted as I buried my face between his shoulder and neck. “Edward, lose the pants, please.”

 

He chuckled and cupped my face in his hands. “Not a chance,” he said, looking me in the eye.

 

_Hmm, huh?_ “What?” I didn’t know what else to say that. The boy just shot me down. __

 

“Up.” He jerked his head up, indicating he wanted me to remove myself from his lap.

 

I didn’t like where this was going.

 

Pouting, I pulled myself up, and stood beside the bed. “Cullen, you’d better have a damned good reason for shooting me down. Hasn’t your mother ever told you it’s not nice to leave a girl horny… and kind of chilly, actually.”

 

“Resorts to last names when she’s annoyed… and horny. Good to know.” He got up and out of bed in one swift, graceful movement. He turned me around to face the staircase. “Downstairs, to the bathroom please.”

 

I quirked an eye brow, suspicious of the change of venue. “And just why are we going down to the bathroom, Cullen?”

 

“March, Swan,” he demanded with a light chortle.

 

There it was again, he’d used my maiden name. It was an odd sensation to hear your name called as it was, before your life changed, before a lie took it away.

 

When we stood in the bathroom, he gazed down at me and tucked my hair behind my ears. “Do you trust me?”

 

_What a stupid question!_ “Nope, not at all.” I looked up at him and grinned, hopefully pouring a good dose of sarcasm into the gesture. __

 

“Good,” he said with an equally salty smile. He took a step closer and hooked his thumbs on the waistband of my underwear, quickly pulled them down, and then reached behind me to pull open the shower door.

 

“You know, treating me like I smell like a baboon’s ass is _not_ going to get you laid, Cullen,” I barked, shooting him a face that should have made his balls want to crawl up inside his body. Instead, he seemed to take amusement in the look.

 

“Again with the Cullen. It’s kind of hot actually.”

 

I huffed and tapped my bare foot on the tiled floor. It made a dainty slapping sound.

 

Edward put his hands on my waist, backed me toward the shower and then picked me up and deposited me in the middle of it.

 

“Okay, you’re the one that reeks of sick people and freaking hand sanitizer. Maybe you’re the one who should be in here. Better yet, drop your drawers and jump in here with me.” I was hoping way too much for that particular scene to play out, which was probably what had him shaking his head and laughing.

 

“First, I just need to say… Fuck me, you’re _stunning_.”

 

“I’m glad you approve, but why the hell am I standing in your shower, darling?” I let that last word ooze out with just a hint of acid flavouring it.

 

“You said you trusted me. So trust me, Bella.” He placed a bath mat by the shower door, took the shower head down and handed it to me.

 

I would have loved to know what my face looked like in that moment because Edward certainly found it enjoyable. He snorted and stepped back.

 

“Does someone have some sort of fetish he needs to tell me about?” I asked in a tone that made it sound as if I were speaking to small child, asking where the cookie came from.

 

“Last night’s little phone sex session got me thinking,” he began as he pushed himself up onto the mantel. “You need to learn, or…um, _re-learn_ how to pleasure yourself, Bella.”

 

I almost choked on my tongue.

 

“It bothers me that you can’t draw pleasure from your own body.”

 

I could feel my eyes growing wider with each word. Being fully awake and functional, it didn’t take me long to figure out what he had in mind.

 

When I said nothing, he continued. “That shower head is pretty spectacular.” He winked at me.

 

I was stunned into silence. The thought of Edward watching me was hot and had my girly bits tingling, but I didn’t think I could actually allow someone to watch me, even if that person was Edward.

 

“Edward… I… I don’t think I can.”

 

He hopped off the counter and walked toward me, stepping into the shower to stand in front of me. He slid his hand down between us, and I moaned when he cupped me. His other hand tipped my chin up to look at him. He brought his mouth to my ear and whispered, “I think you can. In fact, I think doing this with me will be easier than doing it alone. But we’ll get to that.” He pushed his hand firmly against me and let his finger slowly push between my creases.

 

I whimpered and clutched him to me with both hands, dropping the shower head.

 

Kissing my forehead, he stepped back and once again placed the supposedly spectacularly shower head in my right hand. He turned it away from us, pointing it at the wall, and turned on the water. He tinkered with it until he felt it was a suitable temperature and then retreated to his perch on the bathroom mantel.

 

“Consider that a kick start,” he said, grinning wickedly at me. “Close your eyes if it helps, Bella.”

 

I shut my eyes as he suggested.

 

“Talk to me, Edward.” I wanted to hear his honey smooth voice.

 

“What do you want to hear?”

 

“Anything, Edward. I just need to hear your voice. Please.” My hand shook as I brought it up my body, skimming my side and then to my breast. I squeezed gently then more firmly when I heard the sounds of approval Edward was making.

 

“You look fucking beautiful standing there, Bella. What are you thinking of? What are you picturing when you touch your tits like that?”

 

I bit down on my lip and rubbed my thumb across my already painfully hard nipple. “You, Edward. I see your hands on me. I love the way your hands feel on me.”

 

I moved my hand across my chest, the shower spraying warm water on my cool body. I palmed my other breast and then rolled the pink peak between my finger and thumb. I gasped when the pressure I’d been applying neared pain.

 

“Do my hands feel good on you, Bella?”

 

“Yes,” I said as my head fell back a little.

 

I walked myself back a few steps until my back came in contact with the cool tile of the shower wall. I hissed at the sensation of it. The cold tile at my back and the warm water running down my body made me shiver. Slowly, I danced my fingers down the centre of my body and to my navel. Picturing Edward’s warm, rough finger trace circles around my belly button, I allowed my own to mimic the familiar movement. My tongue peeked out and swept across my bottom lip.

 

“God, Bella, if you could see what you look like right now.”

 

I didn’t open my eyes, but I could feel the weight and heat in his stare. It spurred me on. I dipped my hand down below my belly button and languidly ran it back and forth, from hip to hip. My mind provided wonderful pictures of Edward’s mouth racing kisses between the two points.

 

When my finger grazed my wet core, I inhaled sharply. I parted my legs a little more, opening myself and dipped my finger back between my sensitive lips. I moaned, and Edward moaned. I pushed a second finger between the folds, sliding them back and forth, coating them.

 

“Fuck, Isabella,” Edward groaned, it echoed off the walls of the shower.

 

I slipped a finger inside and shuddered and the feel of it. My knees gave just the slightest bit. I rolled my hips in time with my hand’s movements, panting loudly each time I hit that hot spot inside me. Feeling the pressure building, I pushed the second finger inside.

 

“Are you picturing me inside you, Bella?”

 

“No, your mouth on me,” I said between moans.

 

“Christ, Isabella. The taste of you on my tongue… _God_.”

 

“Ungh, Edward!” My fingers moved faster, I needed to pop that bubble of pressure that had formed in my belly. I widened my stance a little more and brought the head of shower between my legs.

 

I hadn’t done this since I was in my very early twenties. I loved the shower head at my father’s house. It’d been quite helpful the nights I was left to tend to myself. “Oh fuck,” I shouted as the water hit me.

 

“Oh my sweet Christ, you look absolutely glorious. Keep going, baby, I want to see you come.”

 

I removed my fingers, leaving one to rub my clit, and adjusted the angle of the water. “Ungh, oh shit! Oh my God, Edward!” I was panting, and I could feel my chest heaving, but all I could see behind my eyes was Edward’s tongue plunging into me.

 

“Do it, baby, come on my tongue.”

 

That did it.

 

I went flying over the edge, letting go of the shower head, I slid down the shower. My finger continued to pump and work through the waves that rolled over me.

 

“Sweet shit,” I whispered as I finally opened my eyes.

 

I looked up and saw Edward standing at the shower door. He offered me his hand and I took it.

 

“That was easily one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen. Thank you for trusting me.” He kissed me lovingly and stepped away from the shower once again. “I’ll let you wash up while I make us something to eat.”

 

“I think not, Cullen.” I pulled him in the shower with me, not caring in the least that he was still wearing his sleep pants. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy motherfuckin’ landslide, Batman! Well FFN readers, you win. I can’t even say it was close, ‘cause dude, it really wasn’t. Either way, there was a lot of love and that is a very cool thing. So thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed. 
> 
> FFN readers: I will post the Outtakes/cut-outs separately. It’s not a normal chapter and won’t have any bearings on the current story so no sense confusing people by posting this in the middle of the story. Hit up my profile, it’ll be listed on there (Everything’s OutTakes). 
> 
> **Special Note: In light of the FFN crack down I’m going to continue posting on Twilighted.net and I will be moving all my fics to A Different Forest too. I’m not pulling this yet, but I’m sure it’ll get hit by the ratings Nazi’s soon enough. Here’s the link for Twilighted.net (take out the brackets) http://twilighted (.) net/viewstory (.) php?sid=15702 
> 
> When I have the story ADF I’ll post the link. 
> 
> **Rec of the Week: She’s Everything by Maxipoo1024. It’s a cross over fiction. Twilight/Supernatural. Broken Bella and Hot, hard headed Dean... it’s yummy and it’s a fun read.


	23. Chapter 22: Let the Water Run Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of S.M. No infringement intended. I own nothing, but I do have a helluva headache right now, and my feet are cold damn it.*
> 
> I’ll keep this shit short, ‘cause I know you want some citrus.   
> Thanks to my beta team, you gotta know I fuckin’ love ya! (Maxipoo and Nikkipattinson)
> 
> Check the End Notes for some important news.

**Chapter 22**

**~~EIK~~**

**Let the Water Run Cold**

  
**BPOV**  
  
An uncontrollable giggle spilled from my mouth as Edward’s body met mine. His sleep pants were soaked, and they weren’t hiding a damned thing. I wrapped my arms around his body and crushed him close to me; the shower head was still dangling, spraying us.   
  
Edward reached over and returned it to its place. He adjusted the water again, making it just a little warmer, and then took the soap in his hands. “Turn around,” he said as he worked the bar of soap between his hands.  
  
I turned my back to him and let him run his soapy hands up and down my back. He messaged my shoulders, tickled my sides, and kneaded my ass in an almost vulgar way. I loved every second of it. “You’re spending an exceptional amount of time on my derrière, sir.” I turned my head and looking over my shoulder, I winked at him.   
  
“Really can’t help it, Bella. I’ve had dreams about this ass,” he admitted, giving my back side a good squeeze.  
  
“An ass man, eh?” I joked. “And here I thought you had a thing for my boobs.”  
  
“Mmm, yes, those, too.” He slid his soapy hands up and around the front of my body and firmly cupped my breasts.  
  
I moaned and tipped my head back till it came to rest on his chest. He removed his hands only to re- lather them. They quickly found my chest again. He gave a quick squeeze again before trialing his hands down my stomach and over my hips. He worked the bubbles over my arms, my neck, and then he stepped back and let the warm water rinse me clean. Taking the soap in his hands once more, he slowly dropped to his knees and began at my feet, placing one at a time against his upper thigh while he washed and messaged it. It felt like heaven. I felt so very cared for, like he was kneeling before me, worshiping me. For the first time in my life, I felt as though I _deserved_ to be worshiped.   
  
He worked his way up my calf, to the back of my knee, and slowly messaged the suds up my thigh. My breathing bottomed out when he reached between my legs to clean me.   
  
He placed my left foot back on the floor of the shower and replaced it with my right. He applied the same treatment to my right foot and leg and once again, when he got to the apex between my thighs, my breathing hitched, and I moaned softly. “I believe you’ve already cleaned that particular area,” I reminded him with a smirk on my face.  
  
“Mmm,” was all he said. He slowly stood up and let the water rinse away the fragrant bubbles.   
  
He insisted on washing my hair. I, for one, was not about to argue with him. When he finished with his ministrations, I took the soap into my own hands and pointedly stared at the water-logged material that hung precariously from his hips. “Those need to go, Edward.”  
  
He loosened the draw string and they slid down, hitting the floor with a wet, sloshy slap.   
  
_Oh sweet angel of mercy, the boy is fucking beautiful!_  
  
I knew I’d been staring a little too long when I heard him clear his throat. “Isabella,” he chuckled. “See something you like?” he inquired in a cheeky voice.   
  
“Your penis is absolutely fucking perfect,” I exclaimed. As soon as the words left my mouth, my hand flew to cover it. _Did I seriously say that shit out loud! What the hell’s wrong with you, Isabella Marie,_ I mentally chastised myself. It’s not like this was the first time I’d seen it.    
  
Edward laughed and pulled me close, his beautiful erection nestled between us.   
  
“I can’t believe I said that. I think my filter is broken. You broke me, Edward. You and your gorgeous cock broke me.” I slapped my mouth again. “Holy crap, what’s wrong with me!” I half shouted, burying my face in Edward’s chest.   
  
He howled with laughter. “Good God, you’re glorious when you blush like that. Perfect pink,” he mused.  
  
I shook off my embarrassment and began to wash Edward’s outstanding body, relishing the way his lean muscles felt under my delicate hands. When it came to washing _that_ particular area, I wasn’t shy or hesitant, and the lack of bashfulness was odd and alien. I expected to feel a little … reserved, but instead I felt almost intrepid. And more than anything, I wanted him in my mouth.   
  
Once his body was free of suds, smelling utterly delectable, like mint and freshly cut grass, I stood and wrapped my arms around his neck. I drew him too me and kissed him with every bit of want and passion I felt for him in that moment. When his hands gripped and clutched at my slippery wet skin, I knew he felt it too.   
  
I broke the kiss and averted my gaze to his long, hard cock tucked between us. I ran my fingers over him slowly, gently. He moaned and closed his eyes. For some reason, it was at that moment that I realized the water had begun to run cold.   
  
“Maybe we should get out. The waters gone cold,” I said, looking up at Edward, my hand cupping his heavy sack.   
  
“Fuck it. Let the water run cold.” He pushed me back to the far side of the shower where I was sheltered from the cold spray.   
  
I pumped him a few times, loving the feel of the silky, smooth skin in my hands. He grunted and bucked his hips, pushing his himself into my hand. I lowered myself to the ground. The tile was cool and hard against my knees, but it didn’t deter me in the least. I dragged my nails down his muscular thighs, and he hissed in response.   
  
“You don’t have to—” Edward started.   
  
“Shut up, Edward,” I demanded, my mouth quirking in wicked grin.   
  
He looked at me with something akin to longing, and there was a definite respect in his features.   
  
I took him in my hand, leaned forward and let my tongue snake out to lick the tip of him. Edward moaned, and I smiled. I did it again and then ran my tongue from base to tip in one long, fluid motion. A hiss broke through the sound of the water pelting off the tiles.  
  
“That’s good, baby,” he encouraged.   
  
I brought my lips around the head of his cock and let my tongue swirl around it for a moment, enjoying the way he felt. I pulled him deeper into my mouth, slowly. Edward’s response let me know I was doing just fine. I twisted my hand at the base as my mouth worked him. I felt his hand push through my hair and gripped tightly. It was far from painful and it made me moan.   
  
The vibrations obviously did wonderful things for him because he was suddenly grabbing the back of my head, pulling me closer. I removed my hand and took him further into my mouth. I moved with purpose and confidence now, and Edward’s gentle thrust spurred me on.   
  
“Oh shit, Bella, I’m fucking right there, kitten.” It sounded like it was meant to be a warning, but I couldn’t have cared less.   
  
I sucked harder and raked my fingernails over his tightening sack. I smiled at the loud groan that ensued. When he was panting and whispering my name, I pushed my mouth down hard and fast, feeling him slide into my throat. Slowly, I pulled up, gently scrapping my teeth along his shaft.   
  
That did it.  
  
He exploded shouting my name as though he were calling out the saints.   
  


**_~~^~~_ **

I sang softly as I sliced into an overly ripe tomato, the juices gushing and oozing over the white cutting board.

 

“I feel like I should give you a gold star or something,” Edward commented as he piled the bacon on his sandwich.

 

I stopped slicing and shot him a side eye. “Gold star? What for? Making toast? That’s not a talent, you know.”

 

“Smart ass,” he mumbled. “I was referring to the stellar fucking solo performance you gave. Might have been one of most erotic things I’ve _ever_ seen… hands down!” For emphasis he lightly smacked his hands down on the counter.

 

I flushed a little, seeing the lusty look in his eyes. _Yeah, I bet you enjoyed the hell out of that, didn’t you?_ I couldn’t lie though. I felt good, powerful even. I hadn’t had an orgasm like that in pretty close to forever. My own hands, my own thoughts, and Edward’s velvet voice coaxing me: the feel of it was almost addictive. Not that I’d be trading in Edward’s hands for my own anytime soon.

 

“It felt good,” I admitted, blushing like a school girl.

 

He tipped my chin and lowered his head to meet my eyes. His kelly green eyes pushed straight into my soul, devouring it completely. “Never be ashamed or embarrassed to feel pleasure. We’re human; hedonism is built into our DNA, and it’s a fucking crime that you lost that part of you for any length of time.”

 

“Promoting self love?”

 

“Absolutely, especially if I get to watch,” he answered, kissing the tip of my nose and then returning to the epic sandwich he was fixing.

 

A thought popped into my mind—my dirty, dirty, Edward ridden mind. “And if I asked to watch you?”

 

He turned his head in an overly slow fashion. It made me chuckle. “You want to watch me?”

 

My face and neck got hot—really, really hot. My words sputtered like an old car getting ready to back fire. “I… think, I um…might.” I took a deep breath and exhaled in a hot gust of air. “Yes.”

 

He angled his body toward me, his hands reaching out behind him, gripping the lip of the counter.

 

“I mean not right now, but… yeah, I think…” _sputter, sputter, sputter._ “It would be hot,” I finally spat out.

 

He chuckled, shook his head, and stole two slices of tomato before heading to the table with his plate. “You’re very inspiring. Getting off with just the mere thought of you is insanely hot. Having you watch me, I gotta say, chances are I won’t last long.” He pulled out a seat and got comfy.

 

 _Don’t know that I would either._ I put my own sandwich together and joined him at the table, my blush receding.

  
“We should go to the Drive-In. It opened two weeks ago. _The Goonies_ is playing,” Edward said in excited voice as he shoved half a sandwich in his mouth.   
  
_How the hell do they do that? Their jaws must unhinge like snakes,_ I mused as I watched Edward take down a significantly stacked BLT.   
  
“Uh, sure,” I answered as I chewed down a pickle spear.   
  
“Oh, my mom thinks she found a great house. Might need a little work though,” he explained.   
  
“Are they excited about moving back?”   
  
“This is where they met, where I was born. Though neither of them were born here themselves, they’ve got a connection to the area, and they’ve missed it more and more with each passing year. They’ve never really said it out loud, but the frequent phone calls and emails tell me they mss me; they miss Forks.”   
  
“Then, can I ask, why did they stay away so long?” I thought I understood why Edward had stayed in Alaska so long after Tanya’s death, but I wasn’t as clear on his parents.   
  
“The Denali family, Tanya’s family, are very good friends. Sasha, Tanya’s mother, and my mother grew up together in Ohio. When Sasha was murdered, Tanya was eight, Kate and Irina had just turned seven. My mother was heartbroken. She’d lost her best friend, and those girls were left motherless. Less than three years later, Eleazar, Tanya’s father, found Carmen and remarried. Mom took to Carmen instantly,” he explained in a soft voice.  
  
“Carmen has this light, open heart that’s hard to resist. She’s a very honest, a take no bullshit kind of woman too, which was just what those three girls needed.” He chuckled and his eyes seemed to be far way, caught in some memory. “They relocated for work to Alaska. We would visit during the summers. Sometimes they would come to Washington. When Tanya got sick and moved home to be with her family, we all just picked up at left. The Denalis were our family; Tanya was my family. I never asked my parents to come, I didn’t expect them to, but it didn’t shock me in the least when my mother began packing their things too.” He stopped and looked down at his plate, took a drink from his glass and then cleared his throat.   
  
I knew talking about Tanya’s death caused him pain, I could feel it in the air, see it on his face. “It still hurts doesn’t it?” I asked.   
  
He paused briefly, contemplating his words. “When Tanya died, it left a mark on all of us. She drew us impossibly closer; bonded us. The thought of leaving the Denali’s was outrageous, not a single one of us could even fathom the idea, let alone put it to practice. A year ago, I found a note tucked into a diary that had belonged to Tanya. It was addressed to me. I read the letter, not really believing what I was reading. She wanted me to leave Alaska, to go home to Forks. She wanted me to leaveher life, her death, and ghost behind me. We’d talked about my desire to open a children’s clinic, and she pretty much threatened to haunt my ass for the rest of my miserable life if I didn’t at least try.  When it came time for me to leave, my parents were supportive, but they just weren’t ready yet. For my mother, who always thought of Tanya as daughter, dealing wither death was hard. It was nearly more than she could handle. It took her along time for her to lay down all the hopes and dreams she had for the two of us. My leaving seemed to be a catalyst for her change of mind.”    
  
“And she’s ready to be here now, back in Forks?”   
  
“Yes, I think so. She very much wants to meet you. They both do,” Edward said with a coy smile.   
  
_Meeting the parents… nope not at all intimidating._ I could hear old insecurities knocking at the door.

 

“You look nervous,” Edward said, eying me suspiciously.

 

“I was just thinking about the whole _meet the parents_ thing. I remember when I introduced Jake as my boyfriend. Dad had known Jake’s family forever, but bringing a friend home and bringing a _boyfriend_ home are two different things. Poor Jake was shaking in his boots. Charlie being Charlie, messed with him a little, leaving his gun belt on. Jake’s eyes kept darting to it. I thought the poor guy was going to past out. And don’t let him do that, by the way! If he ever pulls that donkey crap with you, call him on it.” Charlie could be intimidating and the hell if I was going to let him run Edward off. “He might carry a gun, but he’s mostly talk,” I assured him.

 

“Poor Jake,” Edward said in a sympathetic voice.

 

“The gun was nothing compared to _the talk_.” I took a bite of my completely normal sized BLT.

 

“Talk?”

 

I finished chewing and explained. “Charlie threatened Jake’s junk. He told him he’d remove it with a rusty pocket knife and bury them in the woods for the critters to get if he ever got me pregnant.”

 

Edward chortled and went in for another bite.

 

“It was a good week before Jake even kissed me again, _let alone_ entertained the idea of touching me. Pregnant at sixteen, could you imagine?”

 

I let my mind skip down that road for a quick second and then something tugged at my memory. _Traumatized junk…loaded guns…pregnancy…parents… parents._ “Shit!” I said, lunging for my phone. “Ben called last night,” I hastily explained, fishing through my purse. “He was taking Ang to the hospital.”  
  
There were no new messages, so I quickly dialled Ben’s phone.   
  
“Hello,” a groggy sounding Ben answered.   
  
“Ben? What’s up? How is she?”  
  
“She has heartburn and mild Braxton Hicks contractions. No dilation at all. No baby. Of course, it took hours of monitoring to figure that out.”  
  
“You sound so tired. Ang sleeping?” I asked.   
  
“Yup, we got home about four-thirty this morning. She’s been so restless I finally gave up on the idea of sleeping in my own bed and decided to surf the couch.” He yawned, the last few words swallowed by the sound of it.    
  
I told him about my evening in the ER and what had happened to Michael. Ben sounded as though he were on the verge of tears. Mike and Ben had known each other since elementary school, and though he wasn’t happy with his friend’s deception, he would never have wished something like that on him. He promised to let Angela know when she woke up, and I promised to call when I knew more about his condition.    
  


**_~~^~~_ **

  
I entered the hospital room, and could hear the patter of feet in the halls, the beeping of the various machines, and the smell of floor polish. For a moment, I just stood there and took in the sight before me. Mike was swollen and bruised, wires running from the top of his head to a small machine at his bedside. I was pleased to see that he was not attached to a respirator.   
  
“Bella, glad to see you,” Mrs. Newton said as she walked back into the room, startling me just a little.  
  
“Has he woken up at all?” I asked, a little afraid to know that answer.  
  
“Yes, he was a wake about two hours ago. Dr. Laden was able to assess him again, but the pain medication took over, and he’s been sleeping for the last forty minutes or so.”  
  
“What about you, have you slept? You look tired, Carole.” The lines on her face seemed more pronounced and a purplish shadow hugged the curve of her eyes. Her voice sounded horse and dry, and it seemed that she couldn’t stop fidgeting.   
  
_Disheveled was not becoming of Carole Newton. I’ve never seen her look anything but put together._  
  
“Stephen’s gone home for now,” she said, lowering herself into a chair. “When he comes back, I’ll go home and have a sleep. No need to worry about me, dear.”   
  
I pulled a metal framed, light teal, hard plastic chair over next to her and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. I looked around the room and shook my head.   
  
“What?” Carole asked.  
  
“This room... it’s so _hospital_. Pale gray walls, ugly as hell curtains in shades of gray, dusty pink, and the standard issue, hospital blue. Would it kill them to put a little life into this place, a little more colour?” I was rambling, and I knew it. I was nervous and judging by the gentle smile on Carole’s face, she knew it too.  
  
“Perhaps something in a nice yellow?” she suggested.   
  
I sighed and looked at the machine next to Mike’s bed. “What is that? Is that the ICP machine they were talking about last night?”   
  
“Yes. Intracranial pressure monitor. The little electrodes are sitting inside his skull taking measurements on the pressure inside,” she explained.   
  
“You said they were able to reassess him earlier?” I bit at my nail and focused my attention on a small scuff mark on the wall.   
  
“Yes. Dr. Laden confirmed that he does have a Traumatic Brain Injury. He explained the most likely cause was from a blow to the head. I believe he called it a contracoup injury.”  
  
My eyes began to well with tears, and I looked to Michael’s swollen face. “What does that mean?”   
  
“It means that when he was hit, his brain flew forward and hit the wall of the skull and then bounced off the back of the skull before it came to rest.”  
  
“Oh god …” I felt the tears pool over and race toward my chin.  
  
She continued to explain Mike’s injury. “Dr. Laden believes he’s suffering from a form of aphasia called Wernicke’s.”  
  
“That’s receptive, right?” I asked. Being familiar with certain types of aphasia and forms of speech and language related issues I recognized the diagnosis.   
  
“Yes, he mentioned that. When Mike woke up, he tried to talk, but nothing was making a lick of sense. When we asked him questions he looked confused, like we were speaking in tongues or something. The doctor asked him to name a few common items, and he tried, but only two out of five were correct. The doctor said he has injured the area of the brain that is responsible for language.”  
  
“So, will he ever be able to speak and communicate again?”   
  
“Well, Bella, they’re kind of taking a wait and see approach. They think if his pressure comes down a little more, we’ll see less and less of that complication. They think it might be temporary, but they won’t know until they actually start seeing changes in his condition.”  
  
“Oh God, Carole, I’m so sorry!” I began to sob and not delicate, girly sobs either. It was chest heaving, snot-faced sobbing.   
  
Carole pulled her chair closer to mine and laid her warm, soft hand on mine. “He told me what you said…that you didn’t want him in your life anymore.”  
  
And with that my sobs grew louder and far less controlled. “I didn’t mean … I just… I needed.” _Perhaps he’s not the only one having difficulty articulating. Christ, woman, spit it out already!_  
  
“Shh, Bella, I know. He knows. I’ll be honest when he first called me to tell me that you’d hung up on him, and what you said, he was still pretty damned upset. He couldn’t see the forest for the trees. He needed his Momma to pull him out of that narrow, little mind of his andhelp him see, help him understand what exactly it was you needed from him,” she said, finishing with a sigh.   
  
“Made him see the light, did ya?” I managed a soft smile.  
  
“I made him take a step back, Bella. We both know he can be pretty narrow minded. What he heard was that you’d moved on, hated him, wanted to out him to the world, and didn’t care who it hurt. We both know that’s not what you were saying, dear.” She gave her son a stern look, and had he been awake at the time, I’m sure she would have called him a dumbass while she was at it.   
  
“I don’t hate him, Carole. I hate what he did.”   
  
“I know, and I explained that to him. I forced him to look at the other side of that coin. If you had lied, and used him the way he used you, he would have been mighty pissed. You never lied to him, you gave him everything you were and expected nothing but honesty and love from him in return. He didn’t give you either, not really.”  
  
I shifted in my chair and wiped away a salty tear as it fell. “You _need_ the chance to be whole again, to be truly loved and cherished the way you should have. You deserve to be angry as all get out, and you should have been able to express that without him assuming the worst of you. He shouldn’t have taken away that moment from you, Bella. It wasn’t fair, and he should have realized that you needed to draw lines. That you need clear confines and bold outlines, because doing that afforded you a little more control… gave you back a little of what he took. He understands that now, Bella.”  
  
“And Stephen?” I asked.  
  
“Lord, I love that man, I do, but he can be so obtuse sometimes. He’ll come around, he always does.”   
  
“Would it be all right if I called later in the week, see how he’s doing?” I asked, playing with the hem of my blouse.  
  
“That would be fine, Bella.” She patted my hand a few times before setting it in her own lap.   
  
I leaned forward and laid a gentle kiss to her temple, stood up and left the room.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End Notes:  
> Okay so this story as become one of the many targets of the LawlClan (self proclaimed FFn police) fuckers that have been targeting Twilight and from what I hear HP fanfiction. So my guess is that it won’t be long before the FFn admin team pull my fics. So sadly my friends, and might I say KICK ASS READERS, this will be the last chapter posted here. Fear not folks, I’m posting on Twilighted http://twilighted (.) net/viewstory (.) php?sid=15702 (take out the brackets), AO3 http://archiveofourown (.) org/works/427312/chapters/718626 and on A Different Forest http://www (.) adifferentforest (.) com/Fiction/Title/1057/Everything_I_Knew 
> 
> I truly hope that that you continue to read and follow the stories you love regardless of the site their posted on. Many of my fav. Authors have taken their stories elsewhere and I’m glad to follow, because I enjoy the entertainment they bring me far too much to walk away. 
> 
> Because I gotta rec something I’m diggin’: Coming Home by Sarge’s Girls. It’s a collaboration piece and it’s a wonderful read. Bella is a teacher, Edward is stationed in Afghanistan. They’ve yet to met face to face so to speak, but read along as their relationship blooms and changes. Updates daily. Both on FFn and Twilighted. Go give the girls some love. And Ginger, bb, thanks for recommending it to me.   
> Many apologies and a whole lotta love,   
> ~MissJanuary


	24. Chapter 23: Painted House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: * As per usual I have nothing to with Mrs. Meyers, no infringement is intended.*  
> To my beta goddess, Maxipoo, *gets down on her knees and bows*, you’re kind of awesome, and I kinda love you.   
> And to everyone that is still reading this despite the change of venue, I FUCKING LOVE YOU, I FUCKNG LOVE, I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!!   
> And forward we go...

**Chapter 23**

**~~^~~**

**Painted House**

**BPOV**

“Really? You’re gonna stand there and call me that? I think you need to pack up the smack talk, sir. It’s not your strong suit,” I said, snickering at Edward, his gun poised and ready.

“She’s right. Your skill level is subpar, and your ability to talk trash is kind of fucking terrible, dude. I mean you called her a hoser. Isn’t that like some Canadian insult that _no one_ says anymore?” Emmett said, backing me up.

Edward readjusted his stance and looked over at me. “Whatever, woman. Reload your shit and let’s kill some undead.”

“As you wish, but your ass better hustle because I won’t think twice about leaving you behind.” I took the game off pause and reloaded my ammo, ready to shoot the face off a few evil dead looking folks.

Rose chose to sit and watch with a beer in her hand. She was waiting for us to pull out Mario Kart. She wasn’t good at it by any means, but she loved playing. Sober, she normally came in around 10th place. Tonight she had a nice, cozy buzz going (the rest of us would have to catch up), which guaranteed 12th—dead last.

“Right, Eddie, right! Dude, he’s gonna eat your face! Take the fucking shot!” Emmett was battling a small horde of walking dead, I was picking up a new weapon, and Edward seemed to be lost in the finer details, totally missing the creeper on the right of him.

“Got him!” he hollered, taking aim and firing at the last available second.

“How is it you managed Medical school but can’t seem to get through a courtyard full of slow moving, brainwave-challenged motherfuckers?” Rose spat from behind us, giggling a little.

“Think you can do better, Rosie?” Edward half shouted over the sounds of the game.

“Nope. Not at all actually. Hurry the hell up, so I can crash some cars.” Her voice was a tad petulant sounding; she was getting antsy.

“Just let us get to the next save point, baby, and then we’ll bust out the Kart.”

The next few hours were filled with shouting, drinking, and Princess Peach flying off the course more times than I could count.

“Take me home, kitten. I need sleep,” Edward said, holding my purse out in front of me. His eyes were lightly glazed, and he had that happy-go-buzzed look about him. Tipsy Edward was absolutely adorable, and I kind of wanted to lick him. I also kind of wanted him to bend me over the nearest piece of furniture, but I thought that was a little uncouth considering we were standing in Emmett and Rose’s living room. _Bad, Bella. Baaaad, Bella._

“All right, folks, I need to take _sniper of the year_ home and tuck him in.” I playfully snagged my purse from Edward and then fluttered over to Rose to hug her.

“See you tomorrow, sugar.”

“Enjoy brunch,” I said, pulling away from Rose.

“Omelets!” Em shouted, pumping his fists in the air. “I love those blue cheese omelets Mom makes. I’ve been looking forward to those since yesterday.”

Rose just shook her head and pat his thick arm. Edward snorted, and I couldn’t hold back the eye roll. It was always the simple things that kept Emmett the happiest.

“We’ll bring the pizza,” Rose said with a nod.

“Perfect,” I said as Edward guided me toward the front door.

We buckled in and began the forty-five minute drive into Forks.

“ _I don’t know what colour your eyes are, baby, but your hair is long and brown. Your legs are strong and so, so long and you don’t come from this town...”_ Edward sang, his eyes pulling over my body as I drove.

I felt my face flush red and a tingle begin in my nether region. Before the second verse ended, Edward’s hand slid up my thigh on a course for my promised land. The tingling turned into a throb. When his fingertips grazed my jean clad pussy, I let out a long airy breath.

“I think we should pull over,” Edward said, motioning to the side of the road.

I couldn’t agree more. I searched the road for a safe, but hidden place to pull off. Last thing I wanted was my father or one of his deputies knocking on my steamed up window. 

_‘Hey Dad, what’s up? You remember Edward, right? The one buried between my thighs right now.’ Yeah, that would go over well. My boyfriend would be shot in the junk, and Charlie might put me in lock up for the ten years._

I brought the car to a slow crawl and then to a stop. Throwing it into park, I killed the engine. _No need to advertise our location._

In seconds, Edward’s mouth assaulted my neck, and his hand pushed between my legs, spreading them. His breath brushed over my skin and gave me goose bumps. His breath smelled of beer and the chocolate mousse Rose had made. His skin smelled like Edward: musty want, and sex, and soap. 

When he thrust his palm against me, my hips rose up off the seat and pushed into him. I undid my seat belt and turned my upper body toward Edward, taking his face in my hands. My mouth sought him out, needing to devour him. There were no gentle, soft kisses. It was moaning, hot breath, and hunger. His hands snaked up my body and under my shirt. Warm, wanting hands cupped my breasts and my head fell back.  He took the opportunity to lick and nibble on the soft skin under my ear. One hand remained on my breast, the other blazed a trail down my body, daftly popping the button my jeans and quickly sliding the zipper down. With engine off, the music had stopped and the only sounds were made of desperate pants, eager moans, and breathy hisses.

His fingers shoved past my panties and caressed my wet slit. “Fuck!” I hissed as his finger tips played in the moisture between my legs.

He quickly withdrew his, hand and I whimpered. “Come here,” he said in a rough voice.

I did as he ordered, lifting myself off the seat and straddling his lap.

His hands worked to shimmy my jeans down enough so he would have a little more room to maneuver. Swiftly, he reached up with one hand, cupping the back of my neck and pulling my face to his. His grip was strong, forceful, but not painful. It felt good to be wanted so much that the notion of gentle went out the window.

He brought his hand between my legs and pushed two fingers deep inside with one quick, fluid movement. “Ung, oh fuck!” I panted, my eyes pinched shut.

“Look at me, Isabella.”

I opened my eyes and found him staring at me. His eyes had gone dark and his tongue swept out across his bottom lip, and I died a little.

I pushed down on his hand, letting him know he could keep pumping those magic fucking fingers of his.

“Ride my hand like you would my cock, Bella.”

And right there my mind snapped. I grunted, putting one hand behind his head on the seat to stabilize myself and the other grabbed for his. Our hands clasped, I began to slide up and down on his fingers while he thrust them into me, hitting all the right places. When he added a third finger, I let go of his hand and began to touch myself. My control was close to nonexistent and colourful expletives flew from my mouth as I ground down and swivelled my hips. I closed my eyes and focused on the burning throb in my core. The sensation was heavenly, and I wanted to savour it.

Suddenly, a flash of Mike hovering above me crashed into my mind and the sensation was lost. The tingle and heat dropped away, and though I very much wanted to see this through to the finish line, my body had other plans. All traces of desire dried up, and I wanted to scream. I stopped moving.

“What happened, baby?” Edward asked in a half desperate, half breathless voice.

“I can’t finish,” I said in a whisper. I was on the verge of tears and I knew it.

“What do you need me to do? We can move this to the back seat if you’re uncomfortable. Tell me what to do, please.” He kissed my temple and raked his hand through my hair, and he slowly withdrew his fingers.

“I’m sorry, beautiful girl. You just need time for me to prove to you that I won’t— _can’t—_ hurt you. Just give me that time, and I swear to you, I will erase everything you ever knew and replace it with nothing but love and desire and satisfaction. Trust that I can do that for you, that I want nothing more than to rewrite your history, turn it inside out. Please, Isabella, don’t cry...he’s not worth it.”

I nodded and wiped my hand across my face to clear the tears that had spilled over. The determination in Edward’s voice made my insides smile a little. He was willing to stick it out with a basket case like me, and that made me more than happy.

 

**~~^~~**

**EPOV**

“You think she’ll like them?” Bella nervously arranged the sunflowers in the vase that sat between her knees.

“She’ll love them, and my Dad will forever love you for that _sack_ of Jelly Belly’s you’re toting around in that purse of yours,” I said, pointing to the purse at her feet.

“You said he had a thing for candy…” her voice trailed off and her face burned red. She was nervous and for some strange reason, embarrassed.

“Bella, what’s with the red face?”

“I…I may have gone overboard with the Jelly Beans. Is three pounds excessive?” she asked, gently tracing a yellow petal with her finger tip.

I snorted. “Um, no. Where my father is concerned, the more the better. Bella, please relax. We’ve got at least three hours before they even arrive. The movers will probably make to the house before they will. So chill out, they’ll love you. No need to worry. Please.”

She relaxed a little and shifted in her seat. The rest of the drive to my parents’ new home was quiet, but she seemed a little more relaxed. Her fidgeting slowed, and her posture softened.

“I still can’t get over this house. It’s unreal,” she gushed as we walked up the drive way. The old colonial home had been well taken care of over the years. The wide wraparound porch pushed up visions of children running in the yard and family lounging around on a hot summer day.

I fished in my jean pocket for the keys and walked up the white washed steps to the front door. The old iron work screen door screeched as I pulled it open. _A little WD-40 ought to fix that._ I held the door open for Bella, and she walked in ahead of me, vase full of sunflowers bobbing around in front of her. She inspected the first floor of the empty house as if she were expecting something to have changed since she’d first seen it. Soon the movers would be pulling in, and Bella and I would begin the chore of moving furniture and boxes about the grand house. I opened the fridge and put the pop and beer on the top shelf. I left the bottle of Merlot I picked up last night on the countertop. The gold ribbon I fastened around it ran down in a lazy looking cascade. __

“I’m going to grab the rest of the food and supplies. Feel free to roam around the house, babe.”

Bella helped me clean the fridge and kitchen, and we stocked the shelves with a few basics, mostly munchies for the day. Emmett and Rose would be coming later in the afternoon and would be bringing pizza. Yesterday, I’d brought the paint my mother requested and put the various cans in their respective rooms. Bella and I decided to set up in the front room. She spread out the drop clothes, pushed open the windows, and tided her hair back in a messy ponytail while I pried open the colour for the trim. It was called ultra white, and that’s what it fucking was — _ultra white_. I carefully taped off the walls, poured the white matte finished paint into the tray, and handed Bella a brush. We managed to get all the trim in the room done before the moving truck showed up.

“I’ll keep going in here. You go ahead and help out the movers,” Bella said, pushing a roller through the white paint with every intention of tackling the ceiling next.

By some miracle, the sun came out and suddenly the day went from being warm, to flat out muggy. All the moisture from the rain last night mixed and mingled with the hazy July air.  The house was stifling. I pulled my shirt over my head and made my way to the front of the house to see Bella crouched down in front of a paint tray, pouring the excess back into the can.

 _“Watch, Edward. Open your eyes and see it…”_ Tanya’s voice suddenly filled my head. 

I looked around, feeling a little lost. _What am I supposed to see?_ I silently asked her.

 _“Just see her, Edward. Recognize her for what she is,”_ she whispered, her spectral voice wrapping around my brain.

I heaved a sigh, and Bella turned her head toward me.

“What’s up?” she asked, standing and stretching.

“Nothing,” I answered, rather unconvincingly.

She slowly walked toward me, put her hand on my chest and asked, “Why the heavy sigh?”

“Tanya,” I answered, lowering my face to the ground.

“She’s back?”

“Yes,” I confirmed in a low, shamed voice.

“What did she say?”

It still amazed me to no end she was so accepting of the fact that my deceased fiancée was murmuring in my ear at random moments. Most people would have called the men in white to come and take me away, but not Bella. Bella wanted to understand. Not once did she toss me a pitying look or call bullshit. She was extraordinary.

“Same as always; she wants me to see something.”

“Something to do with me?” she asked, her big brown eyes trained on my face.

“Yes. It’s always about you.”

“Well then, I guess you ought to start paying attention then, Mr. Cullen,” she remarked in a teasing voice, patting my chest before turning back to her task.

I shook my head and smiled. “I guess so.”

**_~~^~~_ **

A half an hour later, I heard a car pull up to the house and I made my way to the front door. A little black rented Civic parked next to my car. Bella joined me at the front door. She looked nervous again, so I leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Take a deep breath, kitten, they don’t bite, I promise.”

She shivered and a soft, beautiful smile graced her face.

I held the door open for my mother, who practically bounced up the stairs.

“Edward Anthony,” she exclaimed as she bounded into me, throwing her arms around my neck and squeezing the ever loving shit out of me.

“Mom, you’re cutting off my air supply,” I choked.

“Esme, get the hell off the boy,” my Dad said, grabbing her waist and shoving her aside. He took a step forward and picked up where my mother left off. “Good to see you, son,” he said, pulling away and eyeing me. 

“You must be Bella,” my father said, stepping toward the beautiful brunette to my right.

“That would be me,” she answered in a small voice. She awkwardly thrust the bag of Jelly Belly’s at him.

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Uh, I heard you have a bit of a sweet tooth,” Bella said, stepping forward to shake my father’s hand.

My Dad eyed the sack of jelly beans, and a wide smile broke out over his face. “Keep this one, Edward, she gives me candy. I like her.”

We laughed, and Bella relaxed a little more.

“You look _so_ much like Charlie. Those big, brown doe eyes,” Mom said, scanning Bella’s face. “You’re absolutely stunning.”

Bella blushed a light pink and began to tug at the hem of her tank top.

I took her hand in mine and squeezed lightly.

“Thank you, Mrs. Cullen.”

“Bullshit, Mrs. Cullen was his mother—”she pitched her thumb toward my father “—and she could be a real bitch. Esme, please.”

Bella giggled, and I watched her body relax a little more. “Esme it is then,” Bella said, nodding.

After the awkward introductions, we went about painting and moving furniture around. Bella helped my mother unpack and wash all the dishes and kitchenware, and I listened as they chatted away like old friends.

“I’m sorry about your…well about Michael,” I heard my mother say in careful tone. “It was cowardly of him, but he didn’t deserve what had happened to him.”

Bella said nothing in response.

“How is he? Edward filled us in on his condition, but has he seen any improvement?”

“I called last night and spoke to his mother. She said he’s looking a little more like himself and the swelling is coming down, and his aphasia isn’t as bad as it was that first day. He’s still struggling though.”

I could hear the uneasiness in her voice. Talking about him made her nervous, made her uncomfortable. “I move for a change in topic. All those in favour, say _I_ ,” I announced as I marched into the room.

“I,” Bella whispered.

My mother turned to her then. “ _Shit,_ I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. You’re right, Edward, there are better things to talk about.” She turned back to her task and Bella threw me a grateful smile.

“Edward mentioned that you’re a Behavioural Therapist, what does that mean?” she asked, still turned toward the sink.

Bella happily launched into an explanation of what her job entailed.

**_~~^~~_ **

 “Hey, big Cs, how’s it going?” Emmett asked as he pulled the screen door open.

“Emmett, get your ass in here,” Mom yelled from the second floor. “I think this light switch is toast!” She and Dad had decided to split the house. They took the second floor and began painting, while Bella and I remained on the first floor. 

Emmett and Rose trailed into the house. The smell of pepperoni filled my nose and my stomach let out a loud cry.

“Hungry?” Bella asked, smiling at me.

“Apparently,” I said as Bella and I joined Emmett and Rose in the hall way. I took the pizza from them and made a bee line for the kitchen while they toured the house and eventually made their way up to where my parents were.

**_~~^~~_ **

“I don’t know about this colour,” I stated as I poured the deep red-orange into the tray. “Rusty Nail…” my voice petered out and I shook my head.

“I like the colour. I think it’ll look fantastic in here when it’s done. With the dark furniture, it’ll be all warm in here, you know?” Bella said with a roller at the ready.

“ _All warm_?” I mocked in a girly voice.

“Shut your hole and do your job, Cullen,” Bella said with a smirk and a smile.

She loaded her roller up and took to the walls. I watched as her body stretch each time her arms extended upward. Small beads of sweat coated the back of her neck, and the hairs that had escaped the elastic were plastered to the sides of neck. She pushed up on her toes again, and her arms rose to guide the roller up the wall. Every line of her hot, little body was on display for me, and I for one had no qualms about ogling. Ogling Bella’ bits was my favourite past time.

“I can feel you looking at me, Cullen.”

“Again with the Cullen,” I teased, lifting my own roller to the wall. “Horny or agitated?”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, the last time you let loose with the _Cullens_ you were all demanding and pissed, then horny. So, which is it?” I knew damn well which one it was. I’d seen the lip biting and the subtle eye fuckage when she didn’t think anyone was looking.

“Oh my shit, Suzy, keep your voice down,” she whispered, her hand doing that universal quiet-the-fuck-down thing. Her face went three shades of busted. She was all red faced and tight lipped and cute as hell.

I smirked and snorted. _She isn’t fooling anyone. The woman wants me._

“Worried my parents will over hear?”

“Shut the fuck up, Edward. And I’m _not_ … just shut it.”

“So, then I misread the eye screwing and the all that lip biting?” I asked in a smart ass, mocking tone.

Her only answer was to curl her lip at me in what I supposed was meant to be disgust but failed on a massive level. Her eyes quickly, and _not at all_ discreetly roamed my body again, then flipped from my crotch to my face so fast had I not been paying attention, I would have missed it. _She wants the peen in a big bad way.  ‘The peen,’ what the fucks wrong you, Cullen?_

“Hush, just…do your work!”

I breathed an airy laugh and went to work on my wall.

“Carlisle Cullen, you stay the fuck away from me! I mean it, bud, take one step closer and your sex life is going to take a swift and drastic turn for the worse.” I heard my mother shout, and then I heard the patter of her bare feet bounding down the hall way above us.

“Carlisle, I’m warning you, keep those paint covered paws to yourself!” Her voice was getting louder the closer she was to the stair way.

“Come here, my lovely wife…” my father droned ou,t and it echoed off the walls of the hall on the second floor.

Bella shot me an amused look when she heard my mother laugh and run for it. Her swift footfalls sounded like a herd of elk as she pranced down the stairs and flew directly into the living room.

Her hands were covered in a muted golden colour. She placed herself behind me and used me as human shield.

Bella giggled.

“Why are you hiding, Mom? What did you do?”

Before she could answer, Emmett and Rosalie wandered into the room, followed by my father. No explanations were needed. My father’s chest was covered in yellow-gold hand prints. He stalked forward, his own hands covered in paint, and headed directly for my giggling mother.

“Um, Mr. C, you’re aware that you’ve got a yellow handprint on your right ass cheek, right?” Emmett asked.

Rosalie snorted loudly and then put her hand over her mouth, her body silently shaking.

“Well aware, son.”  He continued to slowly move toward me and my mother.

“Edward,” she whined, “save me.”

“Not a chance,” I said, stepping aside.

“Edward, you ass! I can’t believe you sold out your mother like that,” Bella said, shaking her head and smiling like a fool.

Seconds later my father tackled my mom, neatly resting his paint laden hands on her chest and giving a little squeeze.

“Seriously, I could’ve lived a happy life without _ever_ seeing that. Thanks,” I admonished the two supposed role models, laughing like idiots, while my mother smacked my dad’s bicep and took a step back.

“There, now we’re even,” Dad said, nodding to punctuate his words.

Everyone broke out laughing.

I watched as my petite mother sauntered over to Bella, and pushed a lock hair away from her face. “You’ve got paint on your forehead,” she said, wiping a streak of Rusty Nail off her brow.

“Thanks,” Bella said, smiling widely.

In that moment my heart felt like it had flooded like an over revved car engine. It was almost debilitating. And then I heard her. _“Do you see, Edward?”_ Tanya’s disembodied voice cooed in my head.

And I did. Finally, I saw. Bella belonged here with me. With us. She was always meant to be mine. Seeing her standing next to my mother, giggling, I saw the other half of my soul. The soul I thought died when Tanya did. This was what Tanya wanted me to see. She wanted me understand that her and I were never really meant to be, not in the way Bella and I were. Bella was a part of me, my true other half.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“What?” Bella said, looking to me, still smiling.

“Nothing, beautiful girl, I just realized something.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Edward finally figured it out. Go Edward. Any guesses on what’s to come?   
> Hit up that review button and let me know what you’re thinking.   
> Come play with me on Twitter @JanuarysFiction, we’ll chat, discuss, or just drool over some Robpr0n, that works too.


	25. Chapter 24: Static Heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *All the good stuff belongs to Stephaine, not me. I own an autographed photo of Linda Blair as Regan, but that’s about as good as it gets.*  
> Okay, two words then on with it: HOME. RUN.

**Chapter 24**

**~~^~~**

**Static Heat**

**EPOV**

“Open the fucking door, Isabella,” I hissed into her ear. My tone was urgent, laced and layered with want.  Shivers wracked through her body as my breath washed over her exposed neck.

“Feeling a little impatient?” she asked, peeking at me over her shoulder. Her hair was still set in that messy ponytail she had it in since this morning. She smelled of paint and sweat.

I coiled my arms around her small waist and crushed her back to my chest. The sticky July air clung to us, and I could smell the rain hanging in the dark clouds above us.

“Yes,” I growled. My fingertips dug into her.  Thunder rolled and the porch shook. I brought my lips to her dewy skin and let my tongue snake out to taste her. She shivered and the locked popped open with a quiet click. She pushed the door open, and I clung to her. I kicked the door closed with my foot and latched my mouth onto the soft, smooth flesh on her neck.

She moaned and her hands joined mine at her waist, linking together. I slowly walked her forward, trailing open mouthed kisses across the back of her neck, my lips coated in the salt of her skin. Lightening bloomed above us and lit the house. Shadows crawled across the room and flickered out in a rapid flash. She stopped at the bottom of the stairway and pushed her ass against me. _Jesus. Fucking. Christ._

“Upstairs, Isabella.”

“Tell me what you heard,” she said in a soft, but firm voice.

“How do you know I heard anything?”

“I saw the look on your face, Edward. You heard her. What did she say?”

I pushed my hands up under her tank top and slowly roamed over her naked skin. When she hummed in appreciation, I coasted closer to her breasts, hovering just under the soft orbs but not touching them.

“I know what she wanted me to see. I understand now.” I knew I was being a little elusive, but my brain was kind of on one track. Intelligent thought was draining right along with my blood supply.  My cock was throbbing, and all I could think about was fucking Bella.

“What do you understand?” she asked, rolling her hips in a slow, excruciating circle.

My hips popped forward without a second of thought behind the action. “We were never meant to be. Tanya was never who I was supposed to be with. You are. You’re…” While I fought for the words, she fought with her insecurities. I heard a shaky, uncertain sound tumble from her and she’d stopped moving forward waiting for my answer.  “My heart has always been yours. Always my family, my heart…” I mumbled. Her shoulders relaxed against me and slowly she led me up the stairs toward her darkened bedroom.

“Long trip,” she murmured.

“Hmm?”

“It took a long time to get here, didn’t it?” She wasn’t talking about the car ride home from my parents, and I knew it.

“I’ve been waiting for you for thirty years.” I let some distance gather between our bodies as she walked into the bedroom. As my fingertips slipped away from her, she turned to face me. The rain began and the sound of it against the windows was loud and disjointed.  My breathing grew hard and shallow, and when the lightening reached across the sky again, I saw the smoldering look in Bella’s eyes. The static hum between us bloomed and intensified as we stood in the dark. With a slow, sure hand, she reached for the hem of her top and pulled it over her head. The shirt dropped to the floor. My eyes raked over her chest. A dark bra gently cupped her perfect, round breasts. She opened the front clasp of the bra and peeled the material away, never breaking her gaze from me.

 _Those tits...I swear they’re a higher power. I could go all fan-boy right now and start clapping, but I’m pretty sure she’ll hit me._  

Her creamy, white skin beckoned me. I needed to touch her, to feel her delicate skin against my rough fingers. I reached out and dragged my index finger between her breasts then back up to her chin, tipping it up a little as I stepped forward. I brought my face down to her and lightly kissed her lips. Within seconds, that gentle, easy kiss turned into a crackling, searing kiss, one capable of consuming us both completely. Her hands pushed under my shirt and her nails pulled across my skin. Suddenly, my shirt was piled on the floor right next to hers. Her hand boldly caressed the bulge that had become rather conspicuous. In one swift move, my shorts were laid to waste, pooled at my feet. Bella silently dropped to her knees and took me in her mouth. Her mouth was warm and needy, and she moaned almost as much as I did.

“Stand up, Bella,” I demanded as I helped her to her feet.

I walked her back toward her bed and, she stumbled and giggled. When I felt her legs meet the foot board, I guided her around the side and up onto the bed. Gently, I laid her down and peeled her shorts off. I bent over her body and kissed her belly, her hips, and the tops of her thighs. She lifted her hips again, and I slipped her underwear off, tossing them to the floor. Thunder made the house quake and lightening threw a stark white light into the room. She looked like a perfect, white marble sculpture stretched out on the bed before me.

**_~~^~~_ **

**BPOV**

I could hardly contain myself when his body joined mine on the bed. The weight of him hovering above me, kissing me, was maddening and divine all at once. I needed this, I needed him. His mouth left mine and travelled down to my breasts, and my back arched up off the bed when he sucked my nipple into his mouth. His hand snaked its way down between my legs, nudged them apart and swept across me.

“I want you,” he moaned against my overheated skin. His finger pushed into me and my hips bucked forward.

“Oh God!” I cried out.

His mouth skipped across my body, kissing, sucking, and licking every inch he could as his finger pumped in and out, drawing me closer and closer to the edge.

“Oh fuck,” I panted. I felt my stomach quiver, and I had to fight the urge to clench my legs together against the fast building pressure.

He slipped a second finger inside and my body moved all on its own. My legs squeezed together, trapping his hand. My back lifted off the mattress and my breath caught in my lungs. When the spasms stopped, I breathed a loud, shaky sigh. “Holy shit…”

Edward’s lips pressed against mine, and his need was more than apparent. It was pressing firmly into my thigh. I let my legs fall open again, and Edward placed himself between them.

“Edward, I…” I felt my face burn red.

“What, kitten? Tell me what you need.”

“I need this to be hard. I need you fuck me. We’ve got all the time in the world for slow, soft love making. Right now I _need_ to feel you, need to _feel_ how much you want me. Please.  I need to be _yours_.” I watched the emotions flip across his face in the dim light the moon provided. My words certainly shocked him, but more than that, they fuelled him. His eyes flooded with a desire I’d never seen before and it made my insides tremble.

My legs wrapped around his naked waist, and I pulled him closer to me. I felt him nudging at my entrance, and I had to put a little effort into keeping my hips firmly planted on the bed beneath me. 

“Are you sure, Bel—”

“Fuck me, Edward. Now!”  I wasn’t about to lay there and have a conversation about how I wanted it, damn it! I wanted Edward, and I wanted to know he wanted me, too.

His hands reached out and grasped each of my thin wrists and clasped them firmly above my head in a move that was so quick it made my breath speed up. He adjusted his body, and with one fluid movement, he slipped inside me.

“Oh Jesus!” I cried out as I felt him stretch and fill me.

“Isabella,” he moaned as he slammed into me again. His grip on my wrists tightened as he pushed forward, relaxing as he slid back. “You feel amazing.”

I rolled my hips and bucked my pelvis. Everything inside me lit up and every nerve ending felt like a torch burning. I’d never experienced anything even close to this before. It was all heat and electricity and grunts and lips smashing.

He released my hands and they were quick to seek out his ass. I knew damn well I was digging my fingernails in a little too much, and that he’d likely have marks, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. If anything, it spurred him on. And I was _so_ not going to complain about _that_. His hands squeezed and teased my breasts, and my moans turned into wanton cries. Our bodies moved faster, reaching for more. My body felt heavy and light all at once. Heavy, tethered to this Earth, this spot. Tied to this body. To his body. Light, like I’d been submerged in water, floating in it and becoming pure liquid. 

This was all new. Jake had cared about me, wanted me, but his caresses never grazed my bones. They never shot that deep. Everything with Michael was fashioned with lies, held together with masking tape and layers of shiny lacquer to make it pretty. But it was never real. This was rough and sweaty, and it was full of sound and fire. It was deep thrusting, guttural groans and nails pulling across hot flesh. Suddenly, everything felt on edge, tight and coiled and loaded.

One hand palmed his ass and the other gripped a fistful of bedding. My breath caught in my chest.

“Breathe, baby. Fuck, I’m so close.”

I knew that with just a little more friction, a little more pressure, I would fly off that edge. And I wanted that so very badly. Thunder rolled around us and the room lit up in a heavenly white flicker and then quickly plugged back into darkness.

Edward seemed to know innately exactly what I needed, that I craved just a little bit more, that I needed him just a little deeper. He sat back on his heels and raised my hips up onto his lap. He pulled back and thrust forward grinding his pelvis against mine as our bodies met.

That hokey crap about _seeing stars_ — turns out it’s true. My eyes slammed shut, my muscles coiled and exploded into a warm flame. A pulse of electricity ran through me with such force, the only response I was capable of was tears. I heard Edward chanting my name like a verse from a prayer but I was utterly incapable of words. Once his breathing returned to something pretty close to normal, he rolled us onto our sides. I shook my head and tears streamed down my face.

“I hurt you. God, why didn’t say something, Bella?”

“No, no, silly boy, you didn’t hurt me. I’m…good. I just…I’ve never felt _anything_ like that. It’s never…never been like that for me. I…” _The person you are trying to communicate with is experiencing difficultly at this time. Please hang up and try your call again. Sweet Susan, spit it the hell out!_ I barked at myself.

“So good,” he said in a gentle, hushed tone.

I looked at his beautiful face, and my heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. Suddenly, the words were there. “It’s never been so good, Edward. I’ve never felt so real, so wanted, so fucking _alive_ in my entire life. I’ve never been so inside my own body before. It felt so damned amazing to be inside my body, not hating it, not thinking it was going to fail me. Feeling how very loved and wanted my body is… how wanted I am. It’s never been that way for me before, and that’s all sorts of wonderful and overwhelming. I love you, Edward. Thank you.”

“You’re remarkable. You’ve given me, hands down, the best sexual experience of my life, and you’re thanking me. You’re remarkable, Isabella Swan.”

He kissed the tip of my nose and my heart throbbed. _If the world falls away right now, I’ll go a happy, happy girl._

We adjusted our bodies and I snuggled into his side, content to lay there with him forever. My eyes began to flutter and sleep was washing over me quickly.

~~^~~

“Shit,” I snapped as I heard my phone ring. I sat up quickly and looked over at the alarm clock sitting on my nightstand. “3:32 in the damn morning,” I mumbled as I drew the covers off my still naked body.

“Let it go to voicemail,” Edward said in a sleepy voice.

“3:30am wake up calls aren’t really the norm. I should answer it, might be important,” I reasoned.

By the time I made it to the phone, it had stopped ringing. I was about to turn around and head back to bed when it started again. I tossed a dirty look at the phone and picked it up to look at the caller I.D. —Ben’s cell phone. My eyes went wide as I answered.

“Hello?”

“It’s go time, Bella! No false labour; this is _not_ a drill!” Ben shouted into the phone.

My face broke out into a wide smile.

“You guys at the hospital?” I asked, already walking back toward my bedroom.

“Yeah, we just got here and she’s already threatening my manhood, Bella. I need reinforcements, _stat!_ ”

I giggled. “Can she talk? Can you put her on the phone?”

“Sure, they just got her settled with some ice chips, whatever the hell those are for…” his voice trailed off, and I heard the phone switch hands.

I stood in front of my dresser, pulling clothes out: white tank top, light blue boat neck top, and yoga pants.

“Bella?” Angela said.

“I’m here, little mama.”

“Can you come, please?”

“I’m pulling on clothes as we speak. Are your parents there?” I asked, tossing a pair of socks at Edward.

“Sleep woman, sleep is good,” he moaned, rolling over.

“They couldn’t exchange their tickets, and the cancellation fee is ridiculous. They left for Rio yesterday,” she explained, sounding a little panicked.

“We’ll be there soon, hon. In the meantime, ease up on Ben, eh,” I said as I sat on the edge of the bed with my clothes in my hand.

“Yeah, yeah. Wait _we_?” Angela mumbled.

“Edward’s here,” I explained, lightly flicking the bottom of his foot.

“Oh, did I… ah…ouch!” She took a deep breath, exhaling into the phone.

“Contraction?”

“Yeah… shit.”

“Okay, I’m hanging up. You breathe!” I hung up and placed the phone on the bed. “Move it, bud! My best friend’s about to have a baby.”

He rolled to his side. “It’ll be _hours_ before baby Cheney makes an appearance.”

“Mama Cheney needs me now. So get a move on.”

“Mmmm,” he groaned, looking at the clock.

 _All right, big guns it is_. “You’re right we probably have plenty of time.  Time enough for a shower…together. But, I guess I could let you sleep.” My voice was coy and my finger slid along his leg.

He sat up bolt straight and threw the covers back. _Note to self: Sexual favours are a great bargaining tool._ Edward followed me to the bathroom, his hands clinging to my hips like suction cups to glass. We washed each other in a quiet and lazy way, kissing occasionally.

“I can’t believe I have you,” Edward whispered more to himself.

“You’ve always had me,” I said, running my soapy hands over his perfect, dimpled ass. As we rinsed and stepped out of the shower, I explained Jake’s take on soul mates.  Edward was quiet and pensive looking.

“Makes perfect sense to me, Bella,” he said, pulling on his thoroughly paint splattered shorts. “It wasn’t until I saw you with my family that I realized you belonged there. In that moment, I accepted the fact that, though I loved Tanya, she was never it for me. She was never the one that fit into that space so perfectly. I’m sorry you had to endure what you did, but I’m not sorry that it brought you to me.” His voice was sweet and laced with a deep love and understanding. It melted my insides more than a little bit.

I pushed up on my tippy toes and planted a soft kiss on his nose. “So you’ll keep me?”

“Forever,” he murmured in my ear, sending shivers throughout my body.

~~^~~

“Room 317, on the left,” the nurse directed. Hand in hand, Edward and I walked toward the labour and delivery room Angela had been set up in.

“…Benjamin Cheney, you keep your fucking hands off me!” I couldn’t believe my ears. Angela had gone evil.

Edward and I exchanged a nervous sideways glance before walking into the room.

“Knock, knock…” I said as I slowly walked into the room. A wave of relief seemed to pass over Angela when she saw Edward and me. “So where are the twins?”

“Sleeping off the Jack and Coke. Idiots. Mom and Dad are gone one night and they decide to hit up the liquor cabinet. I knew tha—” She stopped midsentence and her face contorted. She blew out hard, and both she and Ben looked to the monitor that beeped away next to her bed.

“Contraction,” Edward explained, walking over and looking at the read out that had begun to print. “A good one, too.”

Angela panted and grabbed for Ben’s hand. “Keep breathing, baby, you’ve got this. That’s it, almost over…” His eyes fixed on her as though she were the centre of the universe.

Once the contraction subsided, Edward and I pulled up chairs and got comfortable. Ben curled up on the small couch in the room and napped while I coached Angela through her contractions. Four hours later, the pace of her contractions changed. They came closer together and they had certainly become more intense. Angela was losing steam.

“Holy mother of shit that hurts! I need to push, I have to push,” Ang cried, all red faced and exhausted looking.

Ben hit the bedside button and called the nurse into the room. “She needs to push. Can she do that?” he asked, looking concerned and tired.

“Well let’s get Dr. Marin in there and have her checked out. Anyone not staying for the birth, out,” the nurse directed. Edward and the semi-conscious twins cleared the room while Angela clung to my hand for dear life. Dr. Marin walked in, looking well rested and maybe a bit too relaxed for my liking. She looked like a twelfth grader with her long, wavy brown hair and her too easy looking smile _. A freaking twelfth grader is about to deliver Ang’s baby, lord help us._

Dr. Marin positioned herself at the foot of the bed, pulled on gloves and got to business. Poor Ang looked all sorts of uncomfortable while Doc had her hands up in there, doing God knows what to her girlie parts. “Well you’re fully dilated, everything looks good to go!”

_Did she just say that? Did Doogie Houser just say ‘good to go?’”_

Angela looked up at Ben, he smiled, leaned down, and planted a sweet kiss on her mouth. “You can do this, babe. You’ve _been_ doing it. Everything we want is just around the corner.”

Angela’s legs were thrown up in the air in some medieval looking stirrups, and Ben took her left hand. Ang reached for me and squeezed my hand.

“All right, Angela, on your next contraction, you’re going to push. We’ll help you through it,” Nurse Samantha said in a calm, collected voice. Angela nodded, Ben nodded, and I nodded.

Minutes passed, and Angela was grunting and groaning, and I swore I’d never heard so many F-bombs fly from that woman’s mouth before. When the head was out, I sneaked a peek and amazement washed over me and tears slid down my checks.

“Mother of fuuuuucccck,” Angela screeched as she gave one last powerful push. The soft cries of a rather agitated Baby Cheney took over the room. I looked to the face of my friends and saw an emotion I couldn’t quite place, an emotion that though I understood, but never felt before.

“Baby boy,” Dr. Marin announced as she passed him to the nurse to be checked out. Ten fingers, ten toes, no tails or horns, and no mouth full of razor sharp teeth. Though goopy and squirmy, he looked absolutely perfect to me.

“Nathaniel…” Angela whispered, tears streaming down her face.

I slipped out of the room as Samantha handed Nathaniel over to his parents. Their faces lit up and the joy that oozed from the room coated me in a warmth that ran bone deep.

Parents…The world they knew just vanished. The centre of their world just shifted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we finally get the full lemon. Worth it?


	26. Chapter 25: Of Blood and Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *The storyline is mine, and a great deal of shitty and/or embarrassing experiences are mine, but I do not own Twilight. That’s all Stephanie. *  
> This chapter took its sweet time taking on a solid form. Fucking thing hit the chopping block no less than 7 times! I hate when things are smooshy like that. Down side of writing I suppose. Upside of this chapter: Alice and Jazz are back! I know you love those two.  
> When this chapter finally started to stitch its ass together, a lot of music seemed to push itself into it. So each new POV is accompanied by music. And because I wasn’t feeling tortured enough by this bitch, I felt the need to work the songs into the scenes in some cases. Fuck if I know why. Hope you enjoy it. Happy reading lovelies.

**_Chapter 25_ **

**_~~^~~_ **

**_Of Fire and Blood_ **

**BPOV**

**The Freshmen**

**By: The Verve Pipe**

I watched the people on the screen buzz around, preparing for the scene. I watched Alice fuss with the dress and the make-up and effects artists smear blood here and there. A sound like a buzzer rang out, the director in the background telling everyone to find there marks.

“I told you this was a horror movie, right?” Alice asked, sitting down on the floor in front of me.

I shook my head. _Must have missed that part_ , I mused as I watched the actress straighten herself out and crawl into her role.

“Yeah, period piece... vampires,” the wee pixie mumbled as she sipped on her drink.  “The dress looks perfect in that shot. I knew it would work perfectly...” Her voice trailed off as a mob of angry men rushed at the vampire bride. She fought furiously, refusing to forfeit her life to the horde.  She was stunning in her fury, bearing her teeth and tossing the men around like small toys. Her dark brown hair was matted with the blood of her latest victim. She hissed as another man, a larger man, advanced. Suddenly and without warning, she was surrounded by a small contingent of bible beaters and was thrown to the ground in a violent fit of claws, teeth and pure rage.

“Oh god.” I gripped Edward’s knee and held on for dear life.

“She’s got a decent rack,” Emmett commented from the other side of the room.

“Shut the hell up,” Rose barked back, swiftly smacking his over grown bicep.

The tall, muscle bound bible beater with an Indiana Jones vibe was straddling the lovely vampire and struggling to keep her down. The DVD paused and Pixie Dust turned to look at me. “Bella, if you’d like to say a few words, now would be the time to do it. It won’t be much longer now.” The way she spoke brought an odd smile to my face. She talked about the dress like a dying relative succumbing to a long fought illness.

“Nope, I’ve got nothing to say,” I said in a strong voice.

Edward winked at me, and I took his hand. That dress was my past, the man sitting beside me was my future.

_To hell with the past and to hell with that damned dress._

Alice hit play, and I watched as Indy the Vampire Slayer brought his arms over his head, clasping a rather thick stake, and mumbled some ancient prayer. Then he brought the stake down, plunging it deep into her ample chest. _Emmy’s right, her chest_ is _pretty impressive_. Thick, black, oily looking blood oozed from the wound, yet she continued to writhe and fight.

“Ah, Christ that’s nasty,” I moaned.

“Wait for it,” Jasper warned, pointing at the screen.

From the left side of the screen, a man came running carrying a torch and when the beautiful, wounded monster saw him, she leaped to her feet. Her eyes were wild as she tore the wooden stake from where it had nestled deep down in her flesh.

“Shit, she’s one persistent, toothy bitch,” Emmett said.

“A simple stake to the heart... amateurs,” Rose said, shaking her head.

The man let out a war cry that filled my living room and tossed the flaming stake at the doomed vampire.  A horrible screech poured from her mouth as she, and my wedding dress, went up in flames. My once loved dress became her death shroud. A wicked grin took over my face, and I noticed that everyone was staring me, watching my reaction. Alice hit the stop button on the remote and turned her body to face me.

“You all right, sugar?” Rose asked.

My eyes flicked to the screen and then landed on Alice’s tiny face. She looked worried. “Never better. Alice, that was brilliant!”

I heard Emmett release a shaky breath.

Alice picked at the hem of her shirt. “You’re not mad?”

I looked Alice in the eye and smiled. “No, of course not. Why would I be mad?”

“We blew up your wedding dress, Bella.”

“I was fully aware of the consequences when I sent you that dress” I winked at her. “Eleven years ago that dress was everything I wanted. It was the dress I would wear when my new life began. That life was nothing but smoke and mirrors. It’s fitting that it should go up in flames, really, with a life sucking she-bitch wearing it...” I giggled and drew in a quick breath. “No, sweetie, I’m not mad. That felt...liberating.”

“I think you all underestimate this girl. She’s amazing and strong,” Edward said, squeezing my hand and I swooned a little.

“I never thought for a second she was anything but. I just never want you to feel a moment of regret or hurt over that fucking dress,” Rose said, looking to me.

“No regrets, Rosie.” I got up and took my empty glass with me.

Jasper offered refills to everyone and followed me into the kitchen. I poured my second glass of wine and then filled the two glasses that Jazz held out to me.

“You look happy, Bells. Really and truly happy.” His eyes were soft and his smile was genuine.

“I am, Jazz. He makes me happy. He’s my home, ya know?” I said, looking in Edward’s direction.

“Home...” he repeated in a soft, dreamy tone. “I get home. Everything’s right when they’re with you. Everything feels real and complete. I’m glad you found your home, darlin’. Everyone needs a warm place to land.” With a wink and a gentle shoulder nudge, he took the two glasses and strode off into the living room.

I watched from the kitchen as he handed Alice a glass, smiling at her affectionately and then turned to Rose, gesturing to the glass in a very Vanna White like fashion. I watched for a few minutes as my friends chortled and talked over one another. Rose reached out and flicked Emmett’s ear for some nasty pussy joke he’d spouted. Edward had put on some soft, music and a smile stretched across my face when I heard Alice begin to sing along.

“Oh fuck, Eddie, dude, why the fuck would you put music on? Really, man, do you not value your ear drums?”

Alice’s voice grew louder in spite of the comment, and Jasper laughed.

Rose joined in. “ _For the life of me, I cannot remember, what made us think that we were wise and would never compromise.”_ Their voices grew louder still. “ _For the life of me, I cannot believe we’d ever die for these sins. We were merely freshmen.”_   

 _To hell with it, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em._ I walked back into the living room and plopped down on the floor next to Alice and begin belting the words out.

Several songs and a few more glasses of wine later, Edward and I were headed to bed. Rose and Em had packed it in after a rousing rendition of “ _I Will Survive,”_ and Jasper carried Alice off to bed when she mispronounced _wherewithal (‘whereitall, whereitnoll and my personal favourite: wherewithit-nah-fuck-it’)_ for the third time.

I pulled an old t-shirt on and crawled into bed next to Edward. “I think Jazz is going to ask Alice to marry him,” I announced as I cuddled into the sheets.

“I think you’re right.” His arms snaked around me and pulled me close. “You smell like wine and mint. It’s an odd combination.”

“Does it taste odd?” I asked, pressing my lips to his.

He pulled back and kissed the tip of my nose. “Not really.”

“So Ang said Nathaniel’s finally sleeping through the night,” I reported.

“Well that didn’t take long. Two and a half weeks old and he’s sleeping through the night, lucky mommy.”

“I can’t wait to hold him again,” I admitted, feeling all warm inside at the thought of holding that beautiful little boy again.

“Won’t have long to wait,” Edward reminded me. We were having a fish fry tomorrow, and Baby Cheney would be making his first public appearance. 

I slipped off to sleep with Edward’s warm hand on my stomach and his breath in my ear.

****

**_~~^~~_ **

“Shit!” I hissed, digging through the fridge for the seventh time.

“What shit?”

“No cabbage, shit,” I informed Alice as I spun around with a huff. “Hard to make coleslaw when you’ve got no god damn cabbage.”

“Cool your jets, Bella Bear. Jazz and I can go pick some up,” she offered, smiling widely.

“What’s with that boy? He’s all jumpy…and squirmy today.” Since the moment Jasper had woken up this morning, he’d been _off._ Jasper was a smooth, easygoing, nothing-ruffles-my-feathers type guy. I’d never seen him as distracted and _awkward_ as I had this morning. He looked like Alice, caught in one of her daydreams, mumbling to himself, heading back to the guest room for the eightieth time in less than an hour. 

“You noticed that, huh?” Alice said, sauntering towards the coffee pot. __

“Yes, and I noticed that that’s your third cup of coffee this morning. Either you’re not bouncing back from last nights fuckery quite as well as you normally do, or you didn’t sleep much. Dreams?” I asked, pushing my hair back over my shoulders.

“Dreams,” she repeated. She stepped in close to me, and dropped her voice. “Jasper’s nervous.”

“Thanks, cryptic pixie, but I figured that much already.”  I tapped the tip of my finger to her nose and turned to the sink to rinse my mug.

“I know why,” she whispered, standing inches from my back.

I turned to face her again, and her face lit up like she’d just won the lottery. She watched me as the proverbial light bulb went on and nodded.“Oh my shit, Sally!” I whispered excitedly, my eyes darted around the room, ensuring we were  alone.  “He’s gonna...?” I looked to Alice.

 She took a long sip of her coffee and as she lowered the mug, a huge toothy grin was revealed. She nodded in confirmation.

“I knew it! I said it to Edward last night. I knew it was coming.” I pulled Alice close and hugged her tight.

“Any coffee left, ladies?” Edward asked as he rounded into the kitchen.

“Nope, the caffeine fiend here snatched the last cup.”

“Evil elf,” Edward said, glaring at my tiny friend.

“You know you’re not the least bit intimidating, Edward.” Alice rolled her eyes playfully. “I’ll go round up the boy and we’ll head out. Cabbage and paper plates, yes?”

I thought for a minute on the paper plate issue. “Actually, I was just going to use—“

“Emmett breaks a plate, and Rose knocks a wine glass off the table,” Alice interrupted.

“Paper and plastic it is. Thanks.”

“Oh, and keep your mouth shut,” she hollered over her shoulder as she disappeared up the stairs in search of Jasper.

“Stitched up tight,” I called back.

Edward stalked toward me and coiled his arms around me. “She’s handy?” he said, jerking his head in the direction that Alice took off in. “Saves innocent dishes from certain destruction.”

“Neat trick, right?” I smiled and pushed up on my toes to kiss his chin.

“Think she can get us next week’s winning lottery numbers?”

“A few sexual favours and the recipe for my shortbread might do it.”

 He pulled me closer and ducked down to kiss my lips. I melted a little. I always did when he touched me. _Sappy little girl,_ I thought as I sighed against his mouth.

“So what is it she’s forbidden you to talk about?” Edward looked positively conniving.

“Nope, no way, bud,” I said, shaking my head and wiggling away from his grasp.

“Isabella,” he sang, stalking me as I retreated to the living room, fluffing the pillows.

“You’ll get nothing from me,” I sang back, firing him a cheesy grin.

He continued toward me at a slow pace, never taking his eyes off my face. “You’ll talk.”

“Bite me, Cullen,” I said, launching a pillow at him. It bounced off his chest and fell to the floor. He leaped forward, darting around my coffee table, and tossed me down on the couch. I giggled like bubble-headed school girl, ran my fingers over my mouth, and then tossed the invisible key over my shoulder.

“You’ll talk, woman. You’ll sing like a god damned canary by the time _I’m_ finished with you,” he said in a husky tone, hovering over me.

“Pretty confident, aren’t you?”

“Completely.” His mouth came down on mine, and he pressed his body to me. Fingers wove into my hair, angling my head back just a little, and then his tongue and teeth were at my neck. _Sweet mother of all things sin, that feels good!_ After several minutes of intense kissing and some good old fashioned heavy petting, Edward’s knee pushed my legs apart and his hand made a bee line for the promised land. _Yup, you can go ahead and set up camp there, sir. Won’t mind one little bit._

When an embarrassingly loud moan escaped me, I sat up, pushing Edward off me. “Alice and Jazz are right up stairs,” I said in a hushed voice. My face was red and my body was all warm and tingling …and maybe a little gooey.

“Um, kitten, they left about five minutes ago out the back door.”

“Really? I didn’t…huh.”

“Then we’ve got about twenty before they get back,” I said, pulling him back to me.

“Love the way you think, but you need to get dressed.” He pointed to the clock. “I don’t know what’s worse, your father walking in, possibly toting a gun, or my mother. Nothing like seeing your baby boys head clutched between milky white thighs.”

 

 

**JPOV**

**Marry Me**

**By: Train**

**  
**

Nervous, giddy, slightly nauseous. Scared shitless and…amped? _How do people function like this?_ The dichotomy between the warring emotions was nearly killing me, and yet people faced competing emotional states like this all the time without batting a lash. _Yeah, and we refer to those people as fucking psychopaths_. 

I pushed the key into the ignition, and I didn’t fail to notice the jittery shake of my hand as I did so. _I want this. I want her, so calm the shit down, Whitlock._ I buckled myself in, and Alice slid into the seat next to me. She went over the directions to the general store and then pulled the seat belt across her chest, the click sounding so much louder than it should have. She propped her purse in her lap and turned to me beaming. Her beautiful gray eyes twinkled in that playful way that had always pulled me in, but today they held something else. They almost looked guarded. I sat quietly for a moment and breathed in the sensation of subtle anticipation that gently flowed away from Alice.

_She knew.  That’s what woke her up this morning. She knew._

Oddly, her knowing did absolutely _nothing_ to lessen the fluttering nervousness in my chest. My heart beat like a drum, sounding like thunder rolling over an open plain; loud, uncontrolled and a little wild. It burned hotter and made me nearly sick with restlessness. I’d never felt so alive and so inside out all at once. _If I could bottle this cluster fuck of a feeling, I could sell it as a weapon of mass destruction._ I took a deep breath to shake off the… _whatever_ this was and turned on the radio as I began to back out of the driveway. __

“ _If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this café, say you will.”_

Really? Apparently the fucking Fates were in on this as well, or at least the local radio jockey. Alice made an unusual, strangled sound. Something between a whimper and a stifled laugh. _Yeah, sugar knows what’s up, and it’s eating at her to stay quiet. Might as well have a little fun with this._

“Something wrong darlin’?”

“Huh?” She turned to face me, her eyes a little wide. I fought off the snicker building. “Nope,” she said, shaking her head vigorously.

I nodded and we continued down the road.  The car was quiet, save the music. The anticipation welled up and was growing stronger by the minute. I slid my hand into hers and placed them between us as I drove.

Alice sighed contently, gazing out the window. Emotion ran through us both, coursing through her fingertips and racing up my arm. It had become a familiar sensation, a comforting one, one I wasn’t willing to give up. With a single fingertip, I drew a line from the tip of her ring finger to her wrist and back again. She gasped, and from the corner of my eye, I saw her look between our hands to my face. I had the sneaking suspicion that she knew I was on to her. She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and let her head loll back against the head rest.

_Yeah, you go ahead and tuck that excitement away, Miss Brandon._

****

****

****

**CPOV**

**Collide**

**By: Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow**

**  
**

Edward and I headed out to the deck, and I settled into a chair while he loaded the coolers with beer and soda. After a few moments, he pulled a Moosehead out of one of the chilly bins, cracked it open, and took up the seat next to me.We exchanged silent nods and each took a sip. He smiled when he caught sight of Bella in the house, animatedly talking to Sue.

“Does she get the hand talking from Renee?” he asked, tipping his head toward my daughter.

“Yeah, and the lip biting. That’s all Renee.” I saw Renee in so many of her little gestures: the way she swipes her hand through her hair, and the way her eye brows pull together when she’s confused about something.

“And the need to push her feelings aside?”

“Guilty. That’d be all me,” I confirmed, raising my hand. “The sleep talking, _I’m told_ , is me as well.”

“So who is responsible for all that strength _she_ seems to be completely oblivious to?”

Since the Call boys’ initial trial had been set (I had it on good authority that they were both entering a plea of guilty for the assault and vandalism charges), reporters and locals hounded Bella at every turn. At some point, social niceties and taboos took a back seat and complete strangers would fire off questions about her and Michael’s marriage like they had a right to know. They always thought they were going in for the kill but walked away with the wounds. She’d put ‘em straight every time.

“Good question. I’d like to lay claim to that, but I think that’s all her. All Bella.”

“Well, regardless of who’s responsible, she’s remarkable, Chief.” His voice was full of respect and love. I already knew my daughter had given him her heart, which must have been intensely difficult for her, but I couldn’t be happier that it was this kid holding it.

The sliding glass door pushed open and a tall, blond boy stepped into the deck with a swagger accomplished by few.

“How’s it going, Southern Comfort? Hear you got a new lady?” His face broke into a stupid, boy in love smile at the mention of the new lady in his life. I’d poke fun, but I’d be callin’ the kettle black.

“I do indeed. She’s a feisty little thing, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Feisty and fucking tone deaf,” Emmett chimed as he ambled his giant sized body through the screen door and into the deck. “Shoulda heard her last night, Chief. Could have charged her with endangering the public. Her voice is fucking lethal.” He shook his head and took a pull on the beer he just opened.

“Not gonna refute that. I love the little elf to pieces, and she loves to sing…but she’s got _no_ natural talent,” Edward confirmed with an easy laugh.

“Emmett, how are ya, son?” I asked.

“Good, good, I’m good. How you doin’, old man?”

“ _Old_ man? I carry weapons, you’d better watch yourself, _boy_.” I clapped him on the shoulder. “So where’s Rosie girl?” I asked, peering into the house.

“Meatballs,” he announced, like I had any clue what that meant.

“Meatballs?” I questioned, giving Emmett a confused look.

“Rosalie brought those sweet and sour meatballs. She’s just setting up the crock pot in the kitchen.”

“Mm.” I nodded.

I looked back to Jasper, rocking back and forth on his heels _. He looks a tad nervous. His voice is off, not the smooth drawl I’m used to,_ I thought. _Something’s got this cowboy’s panties in a bunch._ I sat back and watched his interaction with Emmett. They joked about the wine nosed antics they got up to last night. Emmett impersonated Alice’s supposedly wretched singing, Jasper laughed, but the laugh was wrong. _Yup, somethin’s workin’ on that boy._

“Papa Bear!” Rose called out as she raced out onto the deck. Her voice pulled me from my observations.

“Rosie girl, how are ya, beautiful?” She threw her arms around me and hugged me tight. _This girl may not be blood, but hell if she doesn’t own a piece of my heart._

“I’m good, Charlie,” she said, kissing my cheek.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and hugged her to me.

“Kisses the Chief, but not me. _Nooo_. What do I get, a flick on the forehead for burning the bacon this morning,” Emmett grumbled.

“Aw, baby, are you feeling a little left out?” Rosie asked, patting his thick arm.

“Yes, yes, I am. I need kisses too, woman!”

Rose rolled her eyes and ignored the man-child’s pouting.

“Alice, get your midget ass out here and meet the legend that is Chief Swan!” Rose bellowed next to me.

_The girl’s always had volume control issues. No indoor voice._

“Shouldn’t say things like that, Rose. His head will get all big and gloaty,” Bella said with a chuckle and wink in my direction. Sue followed her out, and I couldn’t help the grin. Edward popped up from his seat like a jack- in-the-box and offered it to Sue. _Good boy._ Behind them bounced a tiny sprite of a woman. Cute, with bright eyes and dark hair. She bounded right up to me and stuck out her delicate hand.

“Chief, Charlie… err, Mr. Swan? Nice to finally meet you, I’m Alice.” Her words were quick and light. I liked her instantly.

“Nice to meet you, Alice, and feel free to call me anything but old man,” I said, smiling down at her.

 

**EPOV**

**Passenger**

**By: Deftones (featuring: Maynard from Tool)**

**  
**

“Ugh, oh God that’s…” Bella breathed against my neck.

I pressed against her, and my hands roamed up her sides, seemingly moving of their own volition.  My control around this woman was shit. Her smell, the lines of her body, her whiskey smoked voice, and the taste of her pulled me in every time.

“Shh,” I hushed her, pushing my thigh between hers.

She attacked my mouth again, pulling me closer by my belt loops.

 _Christ, she’s hot. She should do strapless sundresses more often._ Much _more often._ I dragged the hem of her dress up her thighs, shimmying it up toward her hips. __

“Edward Anthony, your parents are out there! My dad is out there!” she squeaked.

“Yes, and if you can keep yourself quiet…” I licked my lips and dropped my mouth to her sweet skin.

She swatted at my hands and pushed at me with a coy grin on her face. “Not fair, Cullen. This morning you work me into a pile of goo and just walk away and now you pin me to a wall, hoping to what? Screw me stupid with a house full of guests? Your conscious go for walk, Cullen?” She batted her hands at me again. Her face was a little flushed, and her chest was heaving in the most delightful fucking way.

“Suddenly you have a problem with public sex?” I chuckled and kissed the shell of her ear.

“I…you started this! And what’s that supposed to mean?” She cocked her hip and quirked an eye brow in question.

“You didn’t seem to have a problem with the notion the day you moved in. Matter of fact, you got all _kinds_ of pissed when Emmett came crashing in and put a kibosh to the would-be finger bang.” I smirked at the memory of Bella and me in her room, door open, fingers sliding.

“I…I…new house euphoria,” she explained, waving her hand in dismissal. “Besides, Emmett stomping around with his smart ass mouth is pretty much par for the course. But if my father walks in and hears, or worse _sees,_ his baby girl in the throes of passion, gun fire is a possibility. And holy déjà vu, sir, did we not have this same conversation this morning?”

She wasn’t wrong; we had to pry ourselves away from each other then, too.  Was it possible to be completely and utterly addicted to another human being? She was like this super seductive substance flowing through me, pushing through my veins. I couldn’t get enough, and I wanted desperately to overdose.

“Bathroom?” I knew that was my hardened cock talking, but right or wrong, if she said yes, it was _on_. Guests be damned.

I watched her eyes shift down the hall and back to the bathroom then peer up at me. I ground against her, hoping to persuade her.

“Not fair, Cullen. Go!” she barked, pointing a finger toward the main floor.  “Fry fish, and for the love peanut butter —and the sake of my underwear— keep your damn hands to yourself!”

 _All feisty and flushed, nothing better_.

“Cullen, Cullen, Cullen. Can’t handle the UST, _Isabella_?” I dipped my head and brought my mouth to her ear. “I’m willing to bet your panties are an absolute _fucking_ mess.” I let the words linger for a quick moment before running my index finger up her thigh and right between her legs. I chuckled when I she pushed her _very_ wet centre against me.

“Out, now,” she murmured and then pushed off the wall and strode past me.

 

**ESPOV**

**Tubthumping**

**By: Chumbawamba**

**  
**

 “Edward was a…contemplative young man… he was very studious,” Carlisle said, selecting his words carefully.

“He was a _dork_! A geeky little man, who stayed home on Friday nights practicing piano and burning through biology books the way most teenage boys burned through Playboys,” I declared.

Bella snorted and slapped her hand over her mouth.

“He read those, too,” Carlisle defended with a snicker. “Found that stash when he was seventeen. Tried to tell me he was _gathering data_ , assessing the female form in the name science, of course.” He stifled a laugh. 

Bella’s face was red from holding her laughter in, but her body shook with effort. She was fucking adorable and completely perfect for my son.

“And if I remember correctly, my dear husband, you clapped him on the shoulder and then suggested he try Penthouse for a more…how did you put it? _In depth assessment_?”

“No, no. If you’re going to tell the story, get it right, woman. I suggested _Hustler_ for a more _complete_ assessment.”

“So no rebellious days?” Bella asked, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes.

“No, not really. Oh, but that one night…the uh, Roland’s boy had that party. Christ, what was that kid’s name?” I asked Carlisle, slapping his chest.

 “Gentle hands, lamb,” he said in a soft, overly sweet voice. Jack ass. “And his name was Peter.”

“Peter, yes…” _slap,_ “…with the sandy hair, all tall and wiry.”

“Um, ouch!” _Carlisle, my husband, my lover, my friend, but certainly not my defender. So sensitive._

I ignored his cute little whimper and continued on with the story. “So, Edward comes home Friday afternoon, all jacked up about lord knows what. When I ask, he announces that he’s going to a party. Well, colour me shocked. The boy rarely went anywhere, let alone a fuckin’ party.  For a quick second I thought about calling the local Catholic Church, see about an exorcism, then I remembered he was a seventeen, nearly eighteen, year old boy. So, I told him to have fun and if he needed a ride home, to call.”

Carlisle chimed in. “He called home at two in the morning.” A big, nostalgic grin spread across his face.

“Shit faced?” Bella asked, mixing a drink for herself.

“Yup. So _very_ far from sober,” Carlisle confirmed.

“He piled into the car, singing that ridiculous song…”

“ _I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down_ ,” Carlisle sang, pumping his hands in the air little fool. _God I love this man._

“Tubthumping!” Bella shouted and sang along with Carlisle.

“That’s the one. So he’s all, ‘ _pissin’ the night away’_ and suddenly he goes dead silent.”

“Oh, no,” Bella said, shaking her head.

“Oh yeah. I turn in my seat just in time to see the apple of my eye chuck his cookies in the back seat of Daddy’s brand new BMW.”

Carlisle kept right on singing that awful song while Bella burst out in giggles, holding her sides as if she were trying to push her intestines back in.

“But it doesn’t end there, Bells,” I said, grabbing her attention and stuffing a bite-sized brownie in my mouth.

“Oh that’s right, I nearly forgot,” Carlisle said, finishing his little fist pumping twirl thing. _He’s so getting laid tonight._

“The boy stripped butt naked on the front porch,” I deadpanned. “Poor Carlisle, trying to wrangle his drunken spawn into the house without the neighbours calling the police. I was far too gone to be of any use.”

“She was laughing like a loon and could hardly catch her breath,” he explained.     

Bella turned to the kitchen sink and spat her drink out, half choking half laughing. “Oh shit, Susan, that’s good.”

“Susan? No, no, _Esme_ , darling.”  _Did I break her?_

“Huh? Oh, no, it’s just something I say. Holy shit Susan, Dammit Janet...”

“Oh, gotcha,’ I said with a wink.

“That was it; he spent the night cuddled next to the toilet. Refusing to put clothes on, swearing to the gods that he’d never drink again.”

“And did he?” she asked, eye brow quirked.

“Of course. He’s an asshole just like the rest of us. That summer he and Tanya sneaked a bottle of whiskey, mixed it with Coke, and the two of them had a grand old time watching the room spin. Carmen found them huddled in the mud room together, snoring away and smelling of whiskey and sex. She woke them up with the cowbell she had hanging on a bulk head for decoration. Fuckers are loud if you rattle them good,” I explained with a wicked grin.

 

**RPOV**

**Stay With Me**

**By: Amos Lee**

**  
**

 “Fuck you, Jake, and your evil card playing ways. I’m telling your wife you cheat,” Emmett shouted as he pushed away from the table.

_Such a poor loser._

Jake just laughed and pulled the loose change Emmett and Papa Bear just lost toward him. They never play for much, a few cents a hand, sometimes M&M’s, but it never ends well for Emmett. Jake takes him every time. You’d think he’d have learned by now.

“ _Manolescent,”_ I grumbled, shaking my head as Emmett stomped away.

“Huh?” Charlie cocked his head.

“Manolscent,” I repeated. “Looks like a man, acts like an adolescent.”

“You gotta way with words, kiddo,” he said, shaking his head.

Jake threw his head back and laughed.

The Cheney’s arrived with their bundle of joy. I watched as Bella whispered sweet words to the sleeping boy in her arms. My heart broke for her. I looked to Charlie, and I could see the same heartache in his eyes.  He never wanted his little girl to go without the things she wanted in this life, and I knew he worked his ass off to make sure that never happened. Yet, the one thing she wanted most, he had no control or power over.  Fucking infuriating.

The sun began to set behind the house, and the bugs began to buzz. Edward set up a few citronella candles around the deck and refilled the coolers with fresh ice while I poured myself a glass of wine. I watched every stolen kiss and ass grab, every gentle smile and each tender touch, though I’m sure they didn’t realize I’d seen them. I watched him whisper in her ear, and I watched Bella’s face flame bright pink.

_Dirty little bugger._

I watched two people completely in love, locked in a bubble all their own, and I couldn’t be happier for my friends.  

Then I shifted my attention to Jazz and Alice. I looked on as Jazz became increasingly nervous and, oddly, giggly. _Southern Fried Cousin? What the fuck’s with the girly grin and the forced, nervous laugh? Afraid the Chief will bust him for smokin’ up?_

Then it all snapped into place.  

_No fucking way!!_

I rose to my feet, about to sprint to Bella’s side to tell her about my suspicion, but Jasper cleared his throat loudly, calling attention to himself.

_Ladies and gentlemen, the show is about to begin. Please find your seats and kindly turn off your cell phones._

“Excuse me, folks, but if I could steal you away from your booze and conversation for just a moment…”

Everyone’s eyes flipped to Jasper, who looked ready to shit bricks. I took a pull of my wine and relaxed into my seat. Bella stood by, her face stretched into a knowing smile. Edward wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair. _Bella knew. Bitch didn’t say a word! She’s just…so much trouble._

I heard Emmett whisper, _‘Oh shit, he’s gonna do it,’_ to Jake and Leah, who was quick to shush him.

“Alice…” Jasper said, pulling her close to him by her hand. “You’re tiny, mouthy, sometimes disorganized, you mumble when you’re angry, and you’re feisty as hell.”

She quirked an eyebrow at him and her lips got all thin. _Treading on thin ice, buddy. Proceed with caution._

Emmett snorted loudly, and that was followed by a swift smacking sound.

Jasper bit his lip as his left hand fished around his pants pocket. He pulled out a small ring box and toyed with it for a moment before his gaze returned to Alice. Alice began to visibly shake. _Hold it together, Mighty Mouse._

“You snore. You drink way too much coffee, my bathroom smells like jasmine now, and my closet is over run by high heeled shoes, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re my home, Alice. Stay with me, darlin’. Marry me and let me annoy you for the rest of our lives?”

Alice cried out a response that vaguely sounded like, “I would never take your home away from you,” before launching herself at him.

“Viva la flove bunnies!” Emmett cried out, clapping. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter was a bitch and it would not come together. So many apologies if it feels off. Hopefully you stick around, regardless, ‘cause we’re not done just yet.  
> A note on the song Passenger: That song is just plain sex! If you haven’t heard it go youtube that bitch. Car sex and the thrill of being caught, and just not giving a shit. So good. Go listen and of course, review lovely bitches, please.  
> ~MissJanuary


	27. Bricks and Mortar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *Just for the record, in case you missed it in the first 20 something chapters, I don’t own Twilight. So no infringement intended.*
> 
> To the usual suspects (Maxipoo and Nikkipattinson), thank you. *Blows kisses* 
> 
> To the readers, whether you lurk in the shadows or review every chapter, I love you. I love you like that nasty oversized, paint splattered, worn to shit favourite t-shirt that I sleep in. 
> 
> All right, back to school! (I know school just let out, and here I am dragging these poor bastards back).
> 
> I’ve been asked nicely by some of my readers to include warnings when panty melting is imminent. Well, ladies and...uh, ladies (If I have any male readers, speak up, dude, so I know to address you), an extra set of panties may be needed. Just saying’.

**Chapter 27**

**~~^~~**

**Bricks and Mortar**

**BPOV**

“Do this, Deanna,” Shannon said, tapping her nose. I watched as she attempted to correct Deanna using a full prompt. Deanna was only four and a new learner. However, as a rule, when prompting a child, I caution our EA’s to use the least amount required to get the desired response. Shannon was a new learner too. When the school year started, and Angela’s maternity leave began, the board hired someone to fill her temporary vacancy. Shannon, a fresh out of college, freckle-faced redhead won the contract. Her interview was impressive, and I was glad to have her on my team.

Though she’d completed school required placements working with children with special needs, she had never supported children with autism using various forms of behavioural therapy to assist in learning. It was often challenging and sometimes very discouraging when a child couldn’t perform a seemingly simple task.

 

The start of the school year brought about some interesting developments. The notion that nothing tests a relationship like a true crisis was very much true, especially in a small community. After the news of Michael’s assault, and the subsequent trial, blew through the local media like a hurricane, people started forming their own thoughts and opinions about me— some very narrow and small minded, others flat out wrong. School secretaries would side eye me, perhaps wondering how I’d been so naive. Janitors gave me pitying glances: _‘The poor thing, she must be broken,’_ type looks.Teachers I’d worked alongside for years stopped talking to me. Why? I didn’t know. But what amazed me, what made me smile and walk with pride through the halls, were the ones that didn’t change around me. The one’s that whispered “ _Fuck ‘em”_ when I got nasty glares from the cafeteria staff or the overweight, balding IT dude.

 

Shannon was one of those people. Her first day she was cornered in the teacher’s lounge by Kristie-Ann and was told that working with me might lead to some nasty habits if she wasn’t careful. Then she went on to give the new EA mostly wrong, half-assed rundown of what had happened between me and Mike. She was kind enough to add that she thought it was a cover for my cheating on Michael with Edward. Shannon, from what I was told by Shelly who happened to hear the whole thing, stood up, backed away from the table, taking her lunch with her, and gave Kristie-Ann a verbal dressing down, and then left the room shaking her head. Shannon was a member of _Team Fuck ‘Em_.

 

“Shannon, least to most. She didn’t require a full physical prompt last time,” I reminded her.

 

“Sorry, Bella,” she said, looking a little rueful.

 

“No, it’s fine. You’re doing good, trust me.” I glanced at Deanna, and though I’d yet to learn all the ins and outs of her, it was obvious that she was reaching her threshold. I suggested that Shannon do some gross motor activities to stimulate her and bring her away from table work for a little while.

 

While Deanna and Shannon played on the trampoline, Shannon snuck in a little learning on the side by asking the little blonde girl to imitate her, and I sneaked a glance at my phone. Edward had promised some sort of surprise this evening and I was chomping at the bit trying to figure out what in the name of peanut butter the boy had planned.

 

Nothing. No text, no missed calls.

 

I continued to direct Shannon and watch Deanna, taking notes on the interaction, how she responded to prompts, touch, her name being called, eye contact, and a slew of other things that would help the team support Deanna in the long run. She was reported by her parents as having some interesting behaviours, like smearing, licking people and objects, and aggression. I’d seen the object licking, but nothing else. I didn’t have nearly enough data on any of her supposed behaviours to build a behaviour plan for it, and until I did, the team would have to continue watching and taking data.

 

The day ended on a positive note when I learned that another student, Jackson—the one that had tried to remove my flesh with his teeny teeth last year— had an incident free day and even used the signs his EA had taught him to communicate that he needed a break. “I need a break” loosely translated to: “I won’t slap you across the face if I can chill out for five minutes.” It was a win–win situation.

 

I got home and toed off my ballet flats, unbuttoned my blouse, and walked toward my bedroom. Seconds into my solo striptease, my phone rang. I scurried down the hall to my bedroom and snagged the phone from its cradle.

 

“Hello,” I answered, finishing up with the tiny white buttons.

 

“How was your day?” Edward’s voice wrapped around me, smothering me with his warm honey tone.

 

I shrugged off the blouse and let it flutter to the floor. “Good. Shannon’s doing so well. I hope she sticks around when her contract is finished. She’s a smart little thing.”

 

“I’m sure Ang’ll be happy to know her kids are so well taken care of.”

 

“I’m sure she will.” I riffled through my dresser and pulled out an old Guns N’ Roses t-shirt and held it up. “Where are you taking me, Edward?”

 

“I think you need to look up the word surprise in that damn dictionary that’s sitting on your desktop, lovely.”

 

I rolled my eyes and pulled the t-shirt over my head, feeling a little petulant. “Fine, have it your way, but once this goes on, it’s not coming off. If we’re meeting the queen of England…well I hope she digs GN’R. Just saying.”

 

I heard his snigger and again I rolled my eyes.

 

“That sounds like a challenge to me, Bella, love.”

 

I shook my head and smiled lightly. “Perv.”

 

“Beg to differ. I just have an overwhelming appreciation for your body. Particularly when it’s _nekkid_ or close to it.”

 

Perv or not the boy was cute as all hell, and he was mine. A wide, lazy grin spread across my face at the thought. _Edward is mine. All hot, sexy, compassionate, slightly nerdy, and I nearly forgot…fuckhot in scrubs, and mine._ A blissful sigh slipped passed my lips. “Have I mentioned that I love the way you love me, perv?”

 

“Not today, but there’s still time. I’ll be there in forty minutes,” he declared and hung up.

 

I took my hair down and applied a little lip gloss, smacking my lips together. I sprayed a little perfume and then marched to the office to check my email. There were thirty-seven wedding themed inquires from Alice. Blue or Silver? How do you feel about lace? Should we go with bubbles or the traditional rice? This had become my daily routine and the closer the wedding got, the more I heard from Alice, and though she fired off dozens of emails to Rose and me a day, she was as calm and cool as cucumber. Next weekend we were set to head to Seattle to hunt down our dresses and hopefully decide on the centre pieces. Things were coming together nicely.

 

Occasionally, a thought or memory of my own once upon a time wedding would bubble to the surface, and sometimes it would sting and throb like a phantom pain. But it was never more than I could handle, never more than I was able to bear.

 

 About a minute after hitting the send button on the lengthy email to Alice, agreeing with the lace, deciding on blue and bubbles, I heard the front door open and close.

 

“Edward?” I called out as I pushed away from the desk.

 

“Ready, kitten?”

 

“I am,” I said, bouncing down the stairs and directly into his waiting arms.

 

I collected my purse, snatched my sunglasses, and shoved my feet back into the purple ballet flats. Taking my hand, Edward led me out to his car. I plunked down into my seat, the leather making a squishy protest, buckled my seat belt, and turned toward him hoping for a clue. He gracefully slipped into the driver’s seat and cocked his head in my direction. A playful smirk lit up his features, and I’d be a big fat liar if I said I didn’t squirm just a little.

 

From his pocket he pulled a long, red silk tie. I eyed it suspiciously. His smirk grew, and he leaned forward, securing it at the back of my head, effectively cutting off my eyesight.

 

“So are handcuffs part of the evening as well? Because I think ‘ _Hell yes!’_   would be my answer. Please tell me cuffs are involved,” I begged.

 

His soft chuckle filled the car. “No, Bella, sorry no cuffs. But I’m filing that idea away in the naughty-things-to-do-later box.”

 

Silently, we drove with Edward’s hand firmly planted on my upper thigh, his thumb rubbing small circles. By my guess, more than fifteen minutes had passed when the car came to a stop, and I heard Edward come around the car. He took my hand and gently guided me up and out of the car. The door thumped shut, and he walked me forward for several feet before stopping. Slowly, the red tie slipped away.

 

“Forks Community Children’s Centre,” I read aloud with a big face-splitting smile. “It’s done?”

 

He rocked back and forth on his heels and shoved his hands in his pockets. “It’s done,” he confirmed, looking a tad bashful.

 

I clapped and bounced on the balls of my feet like an over excited child. “And I get the grand tour?”

 

“You get the _first_ tour, lovely.”  Edward dug a set of keys out of his pocket and reached for me.

 

I followed him through the front doors and into the main lobby. The building had been converted from a single level warehouse and was about fifteen years old. The layout was open and the décor was warm and inviting. Old and new, modern and classic mixed and mingled. The walls of the waiting room were painted a soft grey and a wonderfully colourful mural covered one wall. Stimulating toys were piled into the corner and the couches that lined the room looked inviting.

 

“Edward, this is spectacular,” I said, beaming.

 

He blushed in a very manly, sweet way and looked down at his feet. “Mom and Dad donated the furniture and toys.” 

 

“Well it looks fantastic.”

 

Placing his hand at the small of my back, he guided me through the door to the receptionist’s area, which was the same simple grey. If functional was the goal, score. Hand in hand, he led me down the hall, showing me the various departments and offices. When we came to a set of double doors labelled “Whitlock Family and Children’s Resource Library,” we paused.

 

“Whitlock, as in Jazz?” I questioned, quirking a brow.

 

“Yes. When development on the building began, Jasper called and asked if he could contribute. After arguing that it wasn’t necessary, I finally broke down told him about the Resource Library and two weeks later books began to arrive. Books about childhood disease, parenting, special needs, sexuality… you name it, he sent it.” He pushed the doors open and ushered me in.

 

The various reference sections were clearly labelled and the head of each aisle. The books sat proudly displayed by cherry wood shelving. I stepped in and around each shelf, pursuing the selection. Autism, Bed Wetting, Eating Disorders, Hormone Disorders, Serious Mental Illness in Children. He really had thought of everything.  

 

“We’re sending a fruit basket or something,” I said, looking back at Edward.

 

He nodded slowly, smiling. “Tours not done, Miss Swan.” He pulled me back through the double doors and the light clicked off. We rounded the corner and again, reading the plaque, I stopped dead in my tracks. “The Rosalie McCarty Crisis Centre.”

 

“Two days after Jazz called, Rose called. She said she always wanted to see her name on a plaque.”

 

I knew Rose had money. Family money and money from the damages awarded to her when she was younger. She just never flaunted it in anyway. He pushed the door open and explained. “Rose wanted, and _I_ wanted, a place where kids felt safe. A place that would be staffed 24/7 with trained, caring people ready to answer crisis calls and help with the reporting process.”

 

Tears welled up thinking about a teenaged Rosalie fighting to keep her head high. _Did she have somewhere like this to turn to? People that listened without judgment? My beautiful friend is getting a big mushy kiss._

“I see tears,” Edward said, stepping closer to me.

 

“We have some amazing friends. What did I do to have people like this in my life?”

 

He tucked a piece of hair back behind my ear and kissed the tip of my nose. “You bring them to _you_ , Isabella. They gravitate to you. You’re sweet and honest and everything about you pulls people toward you. People can’t help but _want_ to be near you. Not that I don’t agree. Our friends are fucking amazing. Come on, one last stop.” He escorted me down the hall and to the right, our shoes slapping against the tile and echoing down the empty halls. Edward pulled me through a door, flipped the lights on, and shut it behind me. The room was a deep, relaxing teal and only partially furnished with a large oak desk.

 

“Your office?” I guessed.

 

“Mmm-hm,” he confirmed with a quick nod.

 

“The colour is fantastic, but for the love of all that’s sweet, don’t be the asshole that hangs inspirational posters on the walls. Get some colourful, stimulating paintings in here.” I brought my finger to my chin and tapped as a thought rolled around in my head. “As a matter of fact…” I looked up at Edward and smiled. “I think I have an idea.”

 

He took a step forward. “Naked pictures of you, though highly _stimulating_ , would not be appropriate,” he stated in mock reprimand.

 

“Aren’t we funny?” I let the sarcasm drip off my tongue as I narrowed my eyes at him and took a playful swat as his chest. “No, I was thinking about the kids at school.” My brain started to work overtime, and I felt my speech pick up with my excitement. “How fucking great would it be to have the art work supplied by the local children? Oh, oh, and so therapeutic for some of my kids. I’m totally putting out a board wide memo on Monday morning.”

 

**_~ ^ ~_ **

**EPOV**

I felt an indulgent smile stretch across my face as I watched Isabella babble on. I had to admit her idea about the kids in the community providing the art work for the centre was pretty fucking brilliant.

 

“What do you think?” she asked as she propped herself on the edge of my desk.

 

“I think I love your mind, Miss Swan. I’d be honoured to have their artwork lining the walls.” And truly I would. The notion of small hands having a part in the very makeup of this building, be it on an aesthetic level, made me proud in a way I’d never felt before.

 

She cocked her head in a pensive way and studied me. “I’m _so_ proud of you, Edward. You built this, _you_ made this. You’re amazing.”

 

“Actually the building was already—”

 

“ _Shut up_ ,” Bella commanded. “You don’t get to downplay this. This is going to change what life looks like for a lot of families in this community. Not having to drive to Seattle to see specialists, having all this information and support right here at home. That’s a huge, boy, and no way am I letting you shrug it off like it’s no big deal.”

 

“Yes, Miss Swan,” I said, straightening my back and folding my hands behind me.

 

“Mmm,” she cooed, “‘ _Miss Swan’_. I love the way you say that. Sounds so good rolling off your tongue.” She shifted her legs, and it hardly escaped my attention that she’d squeezed her thighs together.  _Why, Miss Swan, I do believe you’re feeling a little randy._ She pushed off the desk and came to stand in front of me, arms at her sides, head tipped to look me in the eye. “Still have that red tie?”

 

I reached into my pocket and slowly revealed the tie. She held out her hand and I gave it to her without a seconds hesitation. _She mentioned handcuffs. What’s the woman thinking?_ I wondered, never taking my eyes off her.  She let the silky material pull through her soft blue tipped fingers a few times. Then she pulled it tight between her hands and my dick hardened. With a coy smile and a rosy blush to her cheeks, she fastened the tie, effectively blinding me.

 

The room grew quiet and still. The smell of drywall and paint still lingered in the air. For a moment there was no sound, then I heard her feet slowly shuffle, circling me like prey. Her fingertip traced along my back, running shoulder to shoulder, and then she came around front and without losing contact, ran her finger down the length of my chest, stopping at my belt buckle.

I felt the air displace and the warmth of her body faded just a little as she took a step back.

 

“On your knees,” she commanded in a husky and sexy as fuck voice. She’d never really taken the lead before, not like this. Once I got things rolling she had no problems telling me what she wanted. But until now she’d never initiated sex, and certainly never like that. I dropped to my knees, the thin industrial carpeting wasn’t much for comfort, but fuck if I cared when some sexed up vixen was circling me.

 

Again, the room became still then I heard the rustle of fabric and the soft breeze as it fluttered to ground in front of me. _Oh my shit, the girl is stripping!_ My brain called up some pretty entertaining material, most of it accompanied by Joe Cocker’s _You Can Leave Your Hat On_. Seconds later, another article hit the ground and the throbbing in my cock began to take on a steady rhythm. “Bella what are—”

 

“Shh,” she whispered, leaning down to my ear. Next came the sound of a zipper. She placed a hand on my shoulder, and I felt her weight shift as she removed her jeans.

 

 _Sweet fucking angel of mercy, I can smell her_. It was a thick, tangy scent and it provoked every inch of me. It made my blood run thick and want whispered through my veins, calling me to her. On instinct, I leaned forward, but she stopped me, resting both hands on my shoulders. “Not yet,” she cooed. I heard movement again. Seconds ticked by and then I heard it. A soft, airy moan. My breath caught for a moment as I contemplated that lovely sound. And again, a groan. _Motherfucker, she’s masturbating._

I reached up to rip the tie from my face so I could watch, but she commanded me to leave it on. I groaned half in frustration and half in sheer fucking need. “Isabella, are you touching yourself?” I wanted to hear her say it.

 

“Yes,” she said with a rough voice.

 

“Tell me what you’re doing.”

 

“I have two fingers inside, Edward. They feel so good.”

 

I reached down and stroked my painfully stiff cock, and she let out a loud groan. She was watching my reaction, and she liked what she saw.

 

“Where are you, kitten?”

 

“On the edge, oh GOD… on the edge of your desk,” she answered, tripping through her words.

 

I could picture it in my mind: Bella sitting, naked, creamy skinned and absolutely breathtaking, fingers pumping in and out, her head tossed back and her sweet lips parted just enough to see her tongue peek out.  _Jesus Christ!_   I gripped my cock through my pants and squeezed. Both of us moaned in response.

 

“Take it out, Edward. Let me see you.”

 

Without hesitation, I unzipped my pants, pulled my aching cock free, and began to stroke the length.

 

“So fucking beautiful.” She stole my line, I chuckled.

 

“Like what you see?”

 

“Yes,” she hissed.  I heard her move again. Carpet quiet footsteps made their way back to me. Bella’s hand wound through my hair. Hot breath puffed across my face. “Make me come,” she said, her hand still fisted in my hair. Suddenly I was being pulled forward and that sticky, tangy scent completely engulfed my senses. My hands reached out and found the back of her long legs. I let them drift up her thighs to her ass. I pulled her toward me, feeling my face meet her centre. My tongue blindly worked to bring hot moans and desperate panting sounds. Her smell, like burnt honey and salt wrapped around my tongue and trickled down my throat. I’d never realized how thick the taste of her was. I pulled in a long breath; her lust flavoured scent completely permeated my lungs, filling my chest with nothing but Bella. I felt her knees quake and I knew she was close.

 

“Oh shit…I…” _I know, baby, you’re right there. I know._

I moved my hand and slipped a finger inside her from behind as I continued to suck and lick her. “Oooh,” was all she managed before the flutters of her orgasm began. Her knees buckled and I held her tight. One hand gripped my shoulder, the other had a firm grasp on a fist full of hair. Her body shook and she panted out half words and pleas. She removed the blind fold and looked down at me with a sex flushed face and a sexy, lazy smile.

 

I stood and walked her back to the desk, propped her up on it, spread her legs and slid home. I took my time, kissing her deeply, moving slowly inside her. Sweat broke out across our bodies and her legs coiled around me, drawing me closer.

 

“I’m so proud of you,” she said again, kissing the tip of my nose as I swivelled my hips. I must have hit a sweet spot because her body tensed and she groaned. She was all soft purrs, gentle caresses, and sin sexy.

 

We came together in a whisper of I love you’s and deep kisses. _This woman, this woman, this woman. She undoes me, tears me down, and builds me back up again_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s a short one, but, dude, they can’t all be epic, right? So what do you think of Edward’s new baby? Pretty kick ass, no? 
> 
> Next stop...Seattle.


	28. Confessions of the Previously Undersexed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *Alas, Twilight never belonged to me, but you should see my cute pink polka dotted Pj’s.*  
> Not gonna lie, kinda have a girl crush going with Miss Stewart, but I’m totally willing to share that inappropriate love with Maxipoo and Nikkipattinson. Thank you ladies for the awesomeness that is you.

**Chapter 28**

**~EIK~**

**Confessions of the Previously Undersexed**

**  
**

**RPOV**

“Alice, I’m not wearing that!”

“Just put it on, Rose.” She rolled her eyes and huffed. The pushy pixie had the nerve to _huff_ after forcing _me_ into the seventeenth friggen dress that day.

We’d been to two bridal shops, and thank the stars above Alice had chosen her dress long ago. Now Bella and I were left to wade in sea of ill-fitting and fugly bridesmaids dresses. Though the colour was stunning, a muted sapphire, the cut looked hideous.  Alice glared at me and pointed to the fitting room doors. I cocked my hip and glared right the fuck back. “Go, Rose.”

I grumbled and spun on my heels as Bella giggled and waved while I stalked past her to the fitting room.  _Yeah, yuk it up now, peaches and cream, but you’re next_. I secured the latch to the tiny dressing room door and once again untied the silky pale pink dressing robe _.  Christ, this thing is fuck awful.  Who designed this shit?_ I pulled the dress over my head and made a few adjustments before zipping it up and strolling out to showcase the silky disaster for the waiting bride to be.

Alice and Bella gasped in unison.

“Oh…my…shit. That’s awful.” Bella chuckled, her eyes gleaming with tears.

“Terrible,” Alice agreed. “But I love the colour.” I nodded my head in agreement, the colour was beautiful. The same could _not_ be said for the dress. “Okay, Bells, you’re up. Dazzle me.”

Bella and I marched back to the dressing rooms together, arms linked. “Help me out of this thing, will you?” I asked, veering toward my room.

Bella bobbed her head and gestured for me to go ahead. “I think Alice is losing her shit, Rosie.”

“No kidding. The last three have been absolute train wrecks.”

“I think she’s waiting for us to fall in love with something,” Bella suggested as she ran the zipper down my back.

I tried bringing the blue silky fabric up over my head, but it bunched and formed a vice grip around my boobs. “Lovely, I’m stuck.”

Bella snickered and together we wiggled and shimmied the dress down my body.  I stepped out of it and unceremoniously kicked it aside.

“Okay, my turn,” Bella said, peeling off the store provided robe. “This one’s got that corset back thingy.” I dressed while she scooted and wriggled the dress into place. She held the sides up while I laced and secured the little strings and things in the back. “So?”

“Aww, Bell, I think we have a winner.” I nodded slowly and grinned with appreciation.

“Really?”

“Yup. That’s it, that’s the one. You look smokin’ hot in that thing.” I pushed open the dressing room’s wooden door and Bella stepped out. She gave a quick glance in the mirror, nodded, and strolled out to the lobby to show Alice.

Alice let out an excited gasp and clapped her hands together. “That’s it! That’s the one! Now, does it come in that colour?” she asked, pointing at the discarded dress I’d just kicked around the fitting room floor.

“Of course, Miss Brandon,” the clerk confirmed with a wide smile and big happy eyes that were no doubt commission induced. That dress was not cheap. After Luanne, still riding her commission high, took our measurements and our deposits (a little _too_ fucking gleefully, I might add), Alice called it lunch and the three of us set off down the street for the sports bar about a half a block away.

**~EIK~**

**EMPOV**

“Oh, wise and married Emmett,” Jazz said, flipping the burgers on the grill. “What’s the deal with the dresses? Alice acts as though the end of world might _actually_ fucking come about if the bridesmaid’s dresses aren’t _just right._ ”

“It’s all about _mood_ and _tone_ , man,” I answered, stretching my legs out in front of me.

“Mood and tone?” Edward said, cocking a brow at me, giving me a ‘and what the fuck would you know about that’ look.

“Yeah, man. The colours, the music, the dresses, the decorations: it’s all about the mood, my Southern friend.” I couldn’t tell you shit about the Civil War, and I couldn’t pick out a diseased thyroid if my life depended on it, but this shit I knew. Rosie had me involved in every aspect of our wedding.

“Your girl’s been dreaming for years about this wedding. What it would look like, sound like. The whole experience of it has been rolling around that little pixie’s brain since she was fucking _ten_ , man. If the flowers aren’t right, or the dresses aren’t right, it kills the vision, and that, my friend, you _do not want._ ”

“Em, the fucking wedding guru, who knew?” Edward joked and Jazz snickered.

**~EIK~**

**RPOV**

“So is the good doctor treating you right?” Alice inquired, placing her menu on the table top and shifting her eyes to Bella.

Bella looked down at her own menu, a light rosy hue stole across her cheeks. She cleared her throat and answered,”Absolutely.” I watched her bite on her upper lip to keep that hundred watt smile in check.

Alice snickered. “Details please. I’m a nosy bitch.” She clasped her hands on the table in front of her, leaned forward, and prepared herself for a talking to.

Bella wasn’t normally one to kiss and tell; she was usually too busy fighting off a hard blush to say much at all. Occasionally, I’d get a little snippet here and there. But I could see it then, when she pushed her shoulders back and locked eyes with Alice. My dear friend had changed. Where self-depreciation had lived, I saw confidence now and though she blushed, she certainly didn’t stutter.

“What, no pervy visions?” She shook her brown hair out with her hand and smiled wide at Alice.

“Dreams, Bella. Get it right. And no, no pervy dreams, thank you very much. Now spill, Bella Bunny.”

With a deep wistful sigh she launched into a sexual diatribe. “It’s so goddamn good. I feel like an eighteen year old again. Except at eighteen it was never…like _that_. We can’t keep our hands off each other, and _sweet sin_ , he’s _so_ good!”

A tall skinny blonde interrupted, asking for our orders and then skipped off to the kitchen in her tight fitting plaid shorts, ponytail swishing as she went.

“I was sore the other day,” she admitted, a little half smile tugged at her mouth. “Like _really_ and truly, sore. Muscles all stretched and burning in the best way.” Her face started to take on a wonderful cardinal shade. It wasn’t embarrassment, no, no. My girl was turned on. Her eyes looked slightly out of focus, no doubt recalling something salacious. When her teeth pulled at her bottom lip, I thought I’d do the girl a favour and reminder her of the fact that she was in a public place. Going gooey wasn’t really an option.  I shoved her with my knee.

Across from us, Alice chuckled. “That good, eh?”

“ _Hours_ of good.”

The look on my face surely matched Alice. “Hours?” we gasped in unison.

“Hours,” she confirmed. “Four orgasms later, and I was _begging_ him to stop touching me. I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Holy mother of fuck,” I said, stunned.

“Okay, you’re going to have to give me a play by play. And I’m taking notes.”  Alice tucked her small self closer to the table and rounded her shoulders toward us.

 “Have you ever been…” her eyes shifted left and right “…tied up?”

The pixie’s eyes went wide and a scandalous grin stretched her thin lips. “Yes,” she hissed. The two of us listened while Bella spun a tale of soft strokes, hard kisses, lapping tongues and quaking bodies.

By the time our nacho platter and calamari rings arrived, all three of us were looking a tad flustered and the prominent thought marching through my head was, _“Good for you! About time someone fucked you proper!”_ Crass, yes, but true. She deserved to feel good. She deserved someone that made her look like she did in that moment—blissed out.

“So what would you like to do for bachelorette party?” Bella inquired, pulling a loaded chip away from the plate.

“Um…I…this is going to sound so girly,” Pixie stick confessed.

“What?” I urged.

“I’d never really did the whole girl sleepover thing when I was a kid. Being locked in the basement and all,” she said dismissively. “So I’d kind of like to have slumber party.”

Bella bounced in her seat, and I couldn’t help the side eye I shot her. “Full on?” I wanted clarification on just what kind of shit I was getting into. The wedding was set for Halloween, more than a month away, and there were any number of Halloween themed tortures Alice could unleash on us.

“Booze, chick flicks, painted toes, sleeping in the basement, craving pumpkins,” Alice said. “ _Full on_.”

I heaved a sigh, and Alice gave me a writhing glace. Bella leaned in and whispered just loud enough for Alice to hear, “I’ll sneak in the pot, you get the stripper.”  We fist bumped and giggled when our elfin friend rolled her eyes.

**~EIK~**

**EPOV**

The girls had come back, talking about strippers and bondage of all fucking things, changed into their Pj’s, popped the cork on a bottle of red wine, and curled up in the living room while we went about saving the world from an alien invasion. I listened to them yammer about flowers, and accessories and giggle about terrible bridesmaids dresses and over eager sales people.  More wine was poured and stories of weddings past began to fill the conversation.

“Oh my God, the minister! Do you remember the minister, Rose?” Bella asked, tipsy and glowing.

The way her lips fell into a soft smile made my heart flutter. _Fuck she’s gorgeous._

“He had cue cards and still managed to fuck it up!” Rose howled with laughter as she recalled the botched vows at her own wedding.

“Dude was ploughed!” Emmett chimed in as he laid the controller down on the coffee table. “The whiskey was practically _oozing_ out of him.”

“God, what a shit show,” Rose murmured in a soft, reminiscent voice. “But I wouldn’t change a thing. Well…” She looked to Bella and the two started laughing hysterically. _Obviously an inside joke._

“Share with the class?” I prompted.

Rose settled and tucked herself into Em’s embrace. “I had this fucking one piece lace thing on under the dress. Ya know, pushes the tits up and sucks everything in so the dress looks all smooth. Anyway, I had to hit up the little girl’s room after one too many toasts, and all was good until I tried to snap that fucker back up.”

Jazz and I exchange confused looks and Rose let out a long exasperated sigh. _Like we fucking know how these lady things work_. _Enlighten us, woman._ And she did. Rose explained that the lace contraption snapped shut via three tiny buttons located at the crotch. In theory it sounded pretty damned brilliant.

“So I’ve got the dress gathered up in one hand, mother suckin’ crinoline and all, and my other hand fishing around between my legs trying to snap the two ends together.” Rose’s hands mimicked her struggle with the crinoline and I shook my head at her exaggerated movement _. I could so fucking picture this going down._

“Successful, I was not. I tried putting my foot up on the toilet and going at from that direction, but no. I couldn’t hold my skirts up and button those little devil fuckers at the same time. I was near tears when Bella came in looking for me.”

Bella snickered and turned her glassy, wine gaze to Rose. “She was in the stall cussin’ up a _blue streak_ when I found her. ‘ _A fucking man designed this. No doubt. Pop it open, get in. Yeah, a guy_ totally _designed this piece of shit_ ,’” Bella mimicked in a voice that was laced with acid and so very much Rose that it made me laugh.

Em’s chest rumbled with silent laughter.

Rose snickered and looked to her friend. “Bella Bear being the fearless chicklet she is, pulled me out of the tiny stall, told me to open up, got down on the floor, and disappeared under the layered white satin.”

“Wait, why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?” Emmett sat up, eyeing his wife. “You mean Bella was—”

“Under my dress, between my legs—”

“I touched your wife’s goodies, Emmy-Lou,” Bella cut in and then dissolved into fits of laughter again and reached out to sweep the happy tears from her face, smiling a big dumb smile all my own.

I sat back and listened to the stories, watched her beam with happiness for her friends, and suddenly I wanted that. I shifted in my seat, the thought throwing me off balance for a quick second.  I wanted _her_ tohave that. I wanted Bella to have stories to tell that didn’t end in heartaches bad memories. I wanted a soft nostalgic smile on her face like the one that was firmly planted on Rose’s.  I wanted my ring on her finger and my name forever stitched to hers. I wanted to erase what she thought marriage was and make it new.  I looked to my girl, her beautiful face was lit with a wine blush and her teeth were digging into her bottom lip, again. My heart, beating hard, suddenly stopped and fell to ash when I pictured her walking toward me, white gown, hair flowing. I couldn’t not have her in my life. When I reached out and stroked her wavy brown hair, my heart picked up again.

When the hours crept far past midnight and we decided to call it a night, I walked Bella up the staircase, my hands on her swaying hips. She gathered her things and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I propped open the window to let the autumn air in and then stripped down to my boxers and slid into bed.

This bed, this room was where it all started. Five months ago, I met a stunning, but visibly broken, brunette. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander back to the night she came to my room. We’d touched, we’d kissed, and we’d confessed so much. I knew then that I wanted her.

Moments later, Isabella came into the room and pulled me from my thoughts. She wore a plain white v-neck t-shirt and orange cotton shorts that just barely covered the curve of her ass. She hit the light and then promptly walked into the bedside table.

“Ow, ow, shit.”

“Stub your toe?” I asked, pulling back the covers for her to slip in beside me.

“Yes. Fucking nightstand.”

“Uh huh, damn thing just leaped out in front of you, right?”

She snuggled her warm little body to mine and began running her fingers through the soft hair on my chest. “Keep defending the nightstand and you’ll be sleeping alone, sir.”

I chortled softly and ran my hand over her hair. In the moonlight it looked black as ink. Her legs entwined with mine beneath the sheets, rubbing against mine in long strokes, like a cricket calling to its mate.

“Are you cold, baby? I can shut the window.” I knew damn well that she wasn’t cold.

She curled in closer. “No, I’m fine,” she answered in a coy whisper. Her legs shifted again.

“Isabella Marie…you’re not…are you feeling a little _amorous_ ,” I asked, feigning shock.

“And what gave you that impression, Cullen”

I snorted. “You can’t keep quiet, _Swan_.  Proved that last time we were here.” I didn’t need the light to know she’d just turned an adorable shade of pink. I kissed the tip of her nose and palmed her ass. Tipsy giggles filled the room followed by a happy sigh. _I fucking love that sound._ I’d come to live for every contented sound she made. They fuelled my whole being and gave me a reason to breathe. Her happiness was paramount to my existence. Every soft moan, joyful giggle, pleasured sigh, contented hum, was all I ever wanted and needed. I’d spend my life and eternity thereafter ensuring her life was charmed, and I would never be without those sounds.

“We should do that,” I blurted out.

“Do what?” she asked, her fingers still playing with the fine hair on my chest.

 _Fuck, Cullen…How do I do this? How do I say what I want so much? Might as well go for broke._ I swallowed the lump in my throat and said, “What Alice and Jazz are doing.” _Yeah, chicken shit._

“Umm…” Her hand stilled on my chest and all I could think was ‘ _fuck, I broke her.’_

“We should do that,” I stammered, again.

“Are you talking about the whole _wedding_ thing?”

 _Breathe out, jack ass._ “Yeah, that,” I said all nonchalant, shrugging my shoulders.

I heard her breath catch in her lungs. Finally she spoke. “Did you just…I…did you just _propose_?” Her voice bumped up an octave.

“Ahhh, I did…if the answer is yes?” It came out as a stammered question.

“And if it’s no?”

“Then I didn’t say thing. You’re drunk, this conversation never happened.” I tried to play it all light, but my chest tightened, as though her tiny fist had pushed through the tissue and the bone protecting my heart and gave it a quick squeeze.

She was quiet for a long time, and I was about to accept her silence as her answer when her hushed voice breathed into my ear. “I can’t do it again, Edward.”

I closed my eyes, and I felt tears build behind my lids. “What you had wasn’t a _marriage_ , Isabella. That wasn’t how it was supposed to be.” My voice broke and quivered.

“I know…but it’s just paper, Edward. You have me. Always.”

“I love you, Isabella, and I _want_ you tied to me. I want my name stitched to yours always. Isabella Cullen,” I purred in her ear as I slid a finger down the length of her body, stopping at her belly button. “We’ll do it any way you want. Big, bold, and over the top, or a trip to City Hall. I don’t care. I don’t care, Bella. I just… I need to have you beside me.” Eloquent it certainly wasn’t, but I needed her to understand, to _know_ that this was _need_ , not just some late night flippant fucking suggestion.

She grew quiet again, and my stomach worked itself into tight knots. Her fingers skipped up my right arm and stopped at my shoulder, drawing small circles on the skin there.

I pulled her closer to me and kissed the top of her head. “Let’s just sleep.”

The room took on the quality of a hospital waiting room. Still, and silent, but strangely tense. Her chest rose and fell and for a moment I thought she had passed out.

“We can do this any way I want?” Her voice was tiny and thin.

“Yes, any way you want. Or not at all. I don’t want you choosing this because you think you have to. I want you to choose me, choose _us_. But only when you’re ready, Isabella.”

“No church, no fancy wedding invitations.”

The tiny fist holding my heart loosened, and my chest expanded as I breathed in.

“Just our family and close friends. I’m not inviting all of Forks for shit’s sake.”

“Bella, are you…saying yes?”

I listened to her pull at the air around us. “Yes,” she confirmed in a whisper so delicate had there been any wind at all, it would have been swallowed.  “I know why you need this. Why you need to have me in that way. But I’ve done this before, all for a piece of paper, all for a lie. The perfect dress, the perfect venue, the beautiful invitations— it was all part of that lie. I don’t want a lie, I want forever. Promise me forever, Edward, and I’ll give you my name.”

“Forever’s a good place to start.” I threaded my hands in hers and squeezed as salty tears rolled down my cheeks. Without a word she kissed them away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, I’ll give you 10 seconds to squee, clap, dance, shake your fist if that’s what you think you need to do. Okay, ready, set… GO!  
> So in a good deal of the chapters, I toss something personal in them. Sometimes it’s just something someone once said to me, other times an experience. Any guess what may have been the real life experience in this chapter? Reviews get a sneak peak at the next chapter.


	29. The Violet Hour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I’m still not Stephanie, still own shit.*  
> This picks up where the last chapter ended; Jasper asked Alice to marry him and Emmett got a little loud. “Viva la flove bunnies!”  
> On with the evening my loverliess (I know it’s not a word, shut up, stop picking on me).

**Chapter 26**

**~~^~~**

**The Violet Hour**

**BPOV**

“You knew, you secret _hoarding_ bitch!” Rose yammered at me, wagging her bright pink finger in my face.

“I deduced,” I defended myself. “Jasper was acting like Sybil this morning. And… Alice _may_ have hinted…a little.”

“Ah, so that’s what she forbid you to talk about this morning. Loyal as ever. She didn’t breathe a word,” Edward said, kissing the top of my head. “Even tortured her a little.” He winked at me as he slid into the seat next to me on the couch.

“So that’s what you call what the two of you were doing in here this afternoon?” Alice said from her safe spot across the living room. Her grin was lopsided and a little on the conniving side.

My faced burst into a hot blush. _Little woman, big mouth!_ I thought as I chucked a pillow at her.  She giggled and easily caught it. To my right, my father cleared his throat, and his eyes roamed the floor. _Yeah, ‘cause every father wants to hear about his daughter’s salacious grind session. Nice Alice, thanks._

She winked a twinkling gray eye at me.

Emmett plopped down into the chair he’d brought in from the kitchen, straddling it with his thick thighs, the back pressed to his chest. Rose, chuckled, walked over, and dropped to the floor next to him.

“So, Bella, Rose,” Alice addressed us, sitting up a little straighter, her hands cupped in her lap. She looked a little hesitant. “I was wondering if you’d like to stand up in the wedding? Bridesmaids?” Her voice was so sheepish and little it was hard to believe it was coming from Alice.

Rose squealed and clapped.

“ _Again_ with the girly squealing. Who the fuck _are you?_  And what did you do with my _wife_?” Emmett said, looking at Rosalie like she spouted wings.

“Weddings make them giddy, son,” my father explained, shaking his head and smiling.

“Are you sure, Pixie?” I asked, biting my lip. “I mean, I’m honoured, but…”

Alice moseyed on over and plunked her tiny self down between Edward and I, wiggling her hips to make room for herself. Edward shot her the side eye and shifted to the left.

“The day we met, I said it right then. Being with you _weirdoes_ feels like family to me. The closest thing I’ve ever known of it, anyway.  I want you there because I love you silly girl. Because you trusted me to thoroughly destroy your wedding dress, because you know about all the bad stuff and don’t care,” Alice said, her voice was gentle and her face calm.

“There is no ‘bad stuff,’ Alice. Of course I’ll stand in your wedding.”

Another round of squealing erupted from Rosalie, and I seriously began to wonder how much liquor she consumed. Alice returned to her seat next to Jazz and curled into him with satisfied smile on her face.

“Bet your parents will be excited to hear the news, Alice,” my father said, smiling at the couple.

The room dropped into an awkward hush, and we all looked around at one another.

“Dad.” I bit my lip nervously and shook my head, hoping for a change in topic, hoping to spare Alice.

Jasper cleared his throat and took Alice’s tiny hand in his. “Her family isn’t really of any concern, sir.”

“They don’t approve?” Charlie asked. His faced twisted in concern. I’m sure he couldn’t comprehend a family not supporting their children regardless.

“No, they…” Alice fought to string her words together, fidgeting with the ring now on her finger.  “They, they’re not a welcomed part of my life, Charlie.”

Charlie sat forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “What happened, kiddo?”

“Dad, it’s none of your bus—”

“He’s a good man, baby,” Jasper cooed, stroking her upper arm.

Alice looked up, her eyes met Charlie’s, she inhaled deeply and then launched in the story of her pitiful childhood, premonitions and all. I had to hand it to the guy, not once did he ruffle or bat an eye lash. He listened intently and nodded encouragingly.

“Assholes,” Charlie muttered, rubbing his hand over his face and leaning back in his chair. “Ya know, I was _nineteen_ when Bella was born, and I was terrified that I’d screw her up. That I’d be a bad father, that I couldn’t hack it. I didn’t have a god damn _clue_ what I was doing most of time, still don’t sometimes. But I knew I loved her and that I’d do anything to keep her safe.” His face looked lost in old thoughts. He sat back in the chair and scrubbed his rough looking hand over his face, again. “I’ve been a cop for a lot of years, and I’ve seen _murder_ rationalized. I’ve even understood the motivations behind it sometimes. But not loving your _own child_ , casting her aside and treating her…” He blew out a hot puff of breathe; his face was hard and worn with anger. “Not protecting you…I don’t understand, Alice.”

“You don’t think I’m—”

“A liar? Nuts? Nope. I saw a psychic once with Renee. I was convinced it was balderdash…and then she spoke. She knew things about my father that were completely impossible. She told us to stop calling the ever growing bump Max. That _she_ was certainly not a Maxwell and that we needed to pick a new name, preferably something with a feminine ring to it,” he said, swooshing his hand through the air in front of him. “Tell me Big Foot’s trolling around your backyard, and I might put a call in to the psych unit.” Charlie stood up and made his way toward the front door.

“Heading home, Dad?” We all got to our feet to see him to the door.

“Yeah, kiddo, gotta a double tomorrow. Glad summer’s nearly over. I’ll have all my officers back.” He shoved his feet into his shoes and pulled his keys from his pocket. “Okay girls,” he said, waving his hands in toward him like an air traffic controller, “bring it in.”

Rose and I tucked ourselves under his waiting arms that wrapped around us like soft, warm wings.

“Alice, that was an order,” Charlie commanded, waving her toward him. She shyly wiggled her way into our tight little circle, her face beaming. Charlie kissed each of us on the head and pulled away. Looking at us he chuckled and let out what I can only call a happy sigh.

“What?” I asked.

“Just what every Papa Bear wants to see… his girls all happy and safe, if maybe a little drunk. _Rosalie Lillian_ ,” he chastised with a smirk.

**_~~ ^ ~~_ **

**EPOV**

I leaned forward and sucked her earlobe into my mouth as she brushed a handful of crumbs into the kitchen sink.  She sighed, sounding all hot and bothered. I felt her squirm the slightest bit. “I think we should get out of here,” I suggested, my left hand crawling oh so slowly up her thigh.

“Bedroom out of here? Or _out of here,_ out of here?” Bella asked, pinned to the counter.

“Like _leave,_ ” I clarified as I gripped her upper thigh. “You know those two are going to do unholy things on every available surface of that guest room. You really want to stick around for that?”   _I fucking love this sun dress,_ I chanted to myself as my hand skimmed over her thigh and landed on her ass. Bright, unfiltered visions popped into my head of Bella bent over the kitchen sink. Her pretty little sun dress all scrunched up around her waist as my fingers worked her from behind. _Oh, shit, that’s hot. Gonna need make that a reality for sure_.  

“Nope, no, I really don’t. Let me grab a few things.” She pushed away from the sink. “Oh, and, Cullen…”

 _Oh God, the last name…_ I nodded to show that I was listening. __

“The next time your hands are palming my ass like that, you’d be better stripped bare and on your knees in front of me.” She walked away, leaving me blinking.

Her sexual confidence had been growing in leaps and bounds, and I couldn’t be more pleased. Just last week she’d called me, breathless, her voice sang like victory, and informed me that she had finally done it; she’d gotten herself off. Of course that sparked a very rousing phone sex session. I hung on every _oh God_ , praised every pant, and clung to each desperate moan. I could hear it when she cried out, something deep inside her had changed, and it was sexy as hell.

I waited by the front door for my girl and kind of, not meaning to, watched Jasper and Alice canoodle in the kitchen as she loaded the dishwasher. Her giggles were all soft and flirty, and he touched her like she was made of precious porcelain. There was reverence there.

“Okay listen up flove bunnies,” Bella said, demanding their attention. “Some ground rules here while I’m gone.” She pointed a finger at them. “No outdoor naked adventures. I do have neighbours. Plus, there are bears. No sexing in my room. That’s just a big no-no, got me?” She waited for the two to acknowledge her before she continued.

She looked so fucking adorable with her hands on her hips. _Her hips… I want to hold her hips while she rides me_.

“And for the love of fucking peanut butter, please, _please_ disinfect any surface your parts come in contact with. Seriously, I want no trace of kitchen love left on my countertops, you animals.” She shook her little fist at them.

On that note, I grabbed her waist and pulled her out the front door.

“They’re gonna have sex in my bed.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement in fact.

**_~~^~~_ **

**ESPOV**

I watched Carlisle pop another small hand full of skittles in his mouth before he stepped out of his khakis. He would roll them in his mouth until they were nearly melted and then he would chew away the rest. It might have been a little sick that I found the way he devoured candy to be an utter turn on. He was slow about it. He enjoyed the sweet flavour on his tongue, and he took his time consuming the tiny treats. There was something very sexy about a man who takes his fucking time. _Or takes his time fucking._ I grinned at my nasty little thought and pulled my top up over my head.

“I love her, Carlisle.”

“Who? And God, _please_ tell me I can watch.” He shed his shirt and made his way to me in nothing but a pair of rather bright blue boxers.

 _Cute little pervert._ I swatted his chest when he got within reach and rolled my eyes. “Isabella. I love her.” __

“Oh, yes. Bella. She is pretty amazing, isn’t she?” He ran a single finger between my breasts and slid the clasp apart. Slowly, attentively, as he always was, he peeled the thin white lace away from my body. He didn’t bother to look me in the eye; he was far too focused on my chest.

“Yes, amazing.” I tipped his chin up and kissed his nose. I could hear the hard candies swirl in his mouth. “She’s it, you know?”

“I’m sure she is. Can you stop talking about Bella? Distracting,” he murmured against my throat.

“Sorry.”

I let his hands wander my naked back and caress the curve of my ass, which I had to admit was a nice ass, age aside. The sweet smell on his breath made me smile.

“I never told him,” I confessed.

“Oh, for the love of God.” He tossed his hands up in complaint and sat on the bedside. “Am I asking too much? Can I just get you naked and beneath me?”

 _God he was fucking sexy when he pouted like that._ His pouting brought about so many good things in my life. My son included.

Carlisle had dragged me into a hall closet during a party and begged me to give him head. I’d laughed in his face and told him not to hold his breath. Then out popped the pouty lip and defeated face. Minutes later my skirt was hiked up, and I was clinging to his shoulders as he pushed into me surrounded by the coats of our friends and co-workers.

Whenever a younger Edward had asked where he came from, Carlisle always said Doctor Raimi’s coat closet. Eventually the child stopped asking.

“Hey, no pouting. Listen to me for five minutes, will you?”

He took a deep breath and smiled kindly at me.

I sat down on the bed next to him and laced my fingers through his. “I never told him that Tanya wasn’t the one. I knew, and I loved her, and I love him, and I didn’t say anything. Does that make me a bad mother?” I felt tears build in my eyes, but did nothing to stop them.

“No, Esme. No, baby, it doesn’t make you a bad mother. He loved her and he was happy with her. How is that bad?”

“He was heartbroken when she died,” I whispered as he brushed a small tear from my cheek. “If I had told him, if he knew she wasn’t the one, I could have saved him some pain.”

“Esme, look at me.” His eyes were so crystal and so blue. The honesty in them always stunned me a bit. “He would have loved her anyway.” He was right. Regardless, Edward would have given himself to her completely. My son’s heart was forever floating outside his chest, and although he was careful with it, he would have never heeded my warning.

“Fucking kids, never listen,” I said, snorting on tears and snot.

Carlisle chuckled and kissed my forehead. “No they never do. But you’re right, she’s the one. And I love her, too. Now can we please get back to the under dressing, pretty woman?”

I leaned back on the bed as his steady, sure hands pulled my shorts and underwear down my legs. The clothes fell to the floor and he feel to knees in front of me.

“Slowly,” I said.

“Always, my love.”

**_~~^~~_ **

**APOV**

“Wait, wait, wait,” I panted, swatting at his arm. I scooted out of my shorts and kicked them to side. “Okay, now we’re good.”

“Mmm, much better, darlin’,” he purred, looking me over. His hands grabbed my waist and he lifted me as though I weighed nothing at all. Carefully, he set me down on the counter top. His soft fingertips tickled my thighs, stopping at my hips and ambling back down to my knees again. He pushed my knees apart and stood between them.

The house had grown quiet, still. Cicadas hummed somewhere outside. I suddenly understood why Bella loved this house so much. The still and the silence was intoxicating, freeing somehow.

“Hey, little thing, tell me what you’re thinking?” Jasper asked, his head tucked between my neck and shoulder.  

“I’m thinking that it’s quiet in here.”

His teeth sank into my neck, making me cry out. “Too quiet,” he whispered, his lips brushing the throbbing skin he’d just bitten.

I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. It was the kind of kiss that sucked all the marrow out of your bones and turned them to pure water. Everything went soft and soundless again, save the sound of our shared breath and our lips moving together.

His fingers continued to stroke the sensitive skin of my inner thighs making them tingle. I reached for the hem of my top, but his hands took over, easily lifting it over my head. His hands ghosted over my shoulders and his fingers tugged the dark straps of my bra down in a drawn out, measured movement. Those same fingers tip-toed and danced across the swell of my breasts so very lightly. It was driving me crazy.

“I love you like this. Nearly naked, goose bumps covering you remarkable skin. Fucking perfect, baby doll.”

I hummed as his mouth made a lazy trail of wet, open mouthed kisses down the centre of my body.

He lowered himself to his knees and adjusted my legs so that they rested over his shoulders. I sucked in a long, sharp breath when I felt his mouth on me.

My hands went to his dirty golden hair and ran through the curls, tugging and soothing. When he pushed his tongue inside me, the quiet and the stillness of the house was utterly shattered. The summertime hum of the cicadas was lost behind my moans and frenzied grunts.

Several long satisfying moments later, Jasper planted me firmly on the floor. My legs were still a little on the shaky side. The kind of nerve tumbling, brain scrambling, _oh, ooh, oh my God_ , kind of shaky. The best kind.  Jazz took off, heading toward the upstairs, leaving me standing the kitchen half naked and flushed. “Umm, and where are you going?”

“ _Your_ bits were on the counter. I think the disinfectant is under the sink,” he said with a wink.

“Fucker,” I grunted, my hands on my hips.

“Don’t worry, I won’t start without you.”

~~^~~

**BPOV**

I punched the code into the panel next to the door as it slid closed behind me. Edward tossed his keys on the island counter and stalked toward me like I had a toy he wanted, and hell if he wasn’t going to play with it— no words, just quick movement. Edward grabbed me around the waist, turned me toward the island counter and walked me forward. When my body came into contact with the lip, he bent me forward. His warm hand rested between my shoulder blades, keeping me in that position. Not gonna lie, it was hot, and I was quickly moving from solid mass to liquid goo.

I felt his other hand glide up the back of my thigh, stilling just as he grazed the cotton curve of my underwear. His breath was pushing out in shallow puffs, and it was the only sound in the room. His hand slowly traced over my round back side, pulling the sundress up with it, and I throbbed. I shifted, rubbing my thighs together and letting out a breathy, but slightly agitated sigh when the movement only worked to arouse me further.

The hand on my back disappeared, and fingers dug into my hips. My white cotton panties, slipped down the length of my legs, and I heard Edward moan behind me. Hot fingertips danced and skipped up my calves and zigzagged over my thighs. The room was silent. No rustle of clothing, no moans and grunts to fill the air. Nothing. I knew Edward was behind me; I could feel the warmth of his body and the fabric of his shorts grazing my bare legs. I turned my head slowly and looked over my shoulder. Edward’s eyes were full and aphotic, and they were wholly focused on my ass. Before words could tumble from my lips, before I could question, fingers roughly slipped inside me. I bit my lip and let lose a gravely moan.

Edward’s hand pushed through my hair and gently pulled my head back. His lips skimmed the shell of my ear, and his hot breath washed over my face and neck. A sharp chill raced down my spine and curled my toes. “Shh. Not a word. Not a sound, kitten,” he said, his body curling around me.

One finger pushed and slid in a steady pace, and my body gently swayed with the movement. Quicker and harder, he pushed and my breathing took on a frantic rhythm. Two fingers pumped and set me to ache. I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from crying out. Our harsh breathes mixed and spun with the sound of his fingers fucking me, sliding through me.

Three fingers moved inside me and standing was becoming less of an option. Each thrust rocked my hips forward pushing me against the island, the lip crushing into my abdomen. I felt my orgasm building, burning between my legs and making my stomach quiver. I widened my stance and stretched my arms across the islands cool, marble surface, curling my fingers over the edge and holding on. Somewhere along the line I’d lost my control and began sliding back and forth on his hand, meeting each thrust with a push of my own. My knees grew slack and my legs shook.

Suddenly, I was coming. The taste of blood flooded my mouth, and I realized I’d bit into my lip to stifle a cry. When Edward’s fingers slipped away from my pussy, I whimpered and slid to the floor.

“Sweet mother of sin, that was…Christ, that was _hot_ ,” I panted. He joined me on the cool floor, ours backs against the kitchen island, and caressed my still shaking leg.

“I’m pretty sure _that_ image will stay burned into my mind until my dying day. Fuck, watching your ass slam back like that…” His voice was completely saturated in lust and want.

“Well should that image ever get fuzzy, feel free to do that again. Any. Time,” I purred, my head rolling to the side to look at Edward.

He smirked that ‘come-have-your-way-with-me’ smirk, and I was turned on all over again. I deftly unzipped his shorts and reached in, pulling him free. He was hard and dripping pre-cum. With his help, I tugged his shorts down a little further and straddled him. “Not a word, not a sound,” I ordered as I lowered myself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that was short, I know- lemon flavoured fluffy filler. Nothing wrong with that. Thanks for reading, leave some love, or hate if that’s the case.   
> ~Jen


	30. Ring Around Seattle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *You know I don’t own Twilight, but I do have a messed up sense of humour sometimes.*  
> This picks up where the last chapter left off. And as per request...Lemons Ahead! Again, I say Lemons Ahead! Kinda like shouting fore, but instead of ducking you should go get clean panties. Go ahead, I’ll wait....

**Chapter 29**

**~EIK~**

**_Ring Around Seattle_ **

**EPOV**

I kissed her slow and deep, warm breath catching between us. The way her leg hitched around my hip, and the way her body moved against mine, laid her intentions bare. I rolled her on top of me, sat up and peeled her t-shirt off. When my teeth grazed her peaked nipple, she let out a moan that set my whole body alight.

“See, not quiet. Keep up that noise, kitten, and you’ll get us busted…again,” I joked. She pursed her lips tight in an effort to keep the volume down and rocked her hips against me.

Although Bella naked from the waist up, panting and grinding with long mahogany hair cascading over her shoulders was a sight to behold, I was done with it. I rolled her on to her back and sat on my knees between her parted legs.

Teasing me, she ran her fingers from hip to hip, raising her bottom up off the bed as if to offer herself. The crude thought of simply pushing those cotton shorts to the side and plunging in fluttered through my mind for one hot second and then disappeared when Bella began to push her shorts down. With the orange cotton dispatched somewhere on the floor, I hovered over her.

 “I love you, Isabella,” _Cullen_ , I finished in my mind.

A tear slipped down the side of her face and she smiled up at me. “Show me, Edward. Make love to me.”

I offered her soft smile and relaxed my body against hers as I kissed her. My hands shook with the need to be inside her…to be home. She steadied my hand, guided it down between our bodies and helped me line up with her warm, wet entrance. Slowly, inch by inch, I pushed forward. There was nothing frenzied or charged about our love making. But it was intense and deep. Sweat broke out over our bodies as we fought the urge to move at a faster pace. Each thrust was a slow burn, each kiss a curse and prayer.

I knew she was getting closer to her climax when her hands left my body and gripped the sheets on either side of her. Soft grunts poured from her in an effort to control herself. I rolled my pelvis in slow, tight circles and deep pushes. Her whole body rocked back.

“Oh fuck…” she nearly screamed. I clapped my hand over her mouth and chuckled. For all her trying, she really couldn’t control herself. I fucking loved that I made her that way, made her feel like she had no choice but to lose it. 

I leaned in, my mouth to her, breathing her in and out. I let a little more of my weight rest on her body and thrusted slow and hard. I knew she loved the pressure and feel of me. She confirmed this by letting loose a string of muffled expletives, her warm breath tickling my palm. A push, a pant, her hips rolled, mine pulled back. Another long, slow stroke and her eyes screwed shut. I grabbed under her knee and pulled her leg up, wrapping it around my torso and gave another lazy roll of my hips. Bella’s body arched up off the mattress and her arms came around me, holding me close as she came.

“Hard,” I heard her say. And I slammed into her, sending us both into oblivion. She bit down on the palm of my hand as she ground her little body against me.

Covered in sweat, smelling like lust and love, we lay in bed, waiting for our heart beats to calm. “You bit me,” I said, sounding just a little shocked. Because I was; she bit—hard!

She chuckled and threw her arms over her face. “I did. I’m sorry.”

“I suppose that makes up for leaving that mark on your thigh the other night.”

I’d gotten a little carried away and sucked at her inner thigh until I drew blood. With my head between her thighs, lapping at the little bit of blood I managed to sap from her, she came. The mark that it left was nothing short of brutal. 

“Um, no, I think not. Have you _seen_ that mark?”

I smirked and reached for her hand beneath the sheets. “So, City Hall in jeans and a back yard barbecue?” I said with a smile that couldn’t be scrubbed off if you tried.

“I think I can do you one better than jeans.”

**~eik~**

**BPOV**

The smell of French toast and sausages wafted into the room and my mouth watered. “I smell yummy stuff,” I murmured, untangling my body from the mess of sheets.

“You smell yummy.” Edward nuzzled his face to the crook of my neck.

“I smell like sex.”

“Like I said, yummy.”

I pushed myself up. I gathered my clothes, got dressed, and kissed Edward on the forehead before heading to the bathroom. I had planned on heading down to the kitchen to steak my claim on the meaty goodness that was cooking before the boys had the chance to devour it, but I didn’t make it past the bathroom’s threshold.

I giggled when Edward closed the bathroom door behind me and pinned me to it.

“Isabella Marie Cullen…fuck that sounds so good, kitten. So good.” His voice was low and his head was buried between my boobs, but there was little about the act that was sexual.

He was listening to my heart. Ear pressed to the gentle valley between my not so mountainous breasts.

I pulled my fingers through his hair and sighed. I could practically feel the happy coming off him in waves. My soft smile grew. When Edward had proposed last night, initially I froze. My blood had run cold, and I wanted so very much to run from the room. Then I took a deep breath and listened to the sound of his heart beating. Feeling it beating under my palm, the ice began to melt, and my own heart worked faster. The thought that he really wanted me, wanted me forever, made me warm and all girly-fuzzy kind of happy.  But I’d been there and done that, and I knew it wasn’t about the production; it was about forever. It was about finding that one person to love for the rest of your life and giving them everything you are.

I wanted Edward to have all of me. I wanted him to take away my name and history and rewrite it all. I suddenly felt guilty for putting limits on it. Edward never got his wedding; his fairytale night never happened.

“Baby, if you want a big wedding, I…I can do that for you if that’s what you want. I’m sorry I got all weird last night. You surprised me…and scared me.” I cupped his beautiful face and brought him to my eye level. “What do _you_ want?”  

“You,” he said, his eyes intense and a little on the glassy side.

I smiled and kissed his nose. “You have me. But what do you _want_? I’ve done this before, but you haven’t. It was selfish of me to try to take that away from you.”

His arms snaked around my waist and pulled me. “You, Bella. I want you. I want simple and easy and relaxed. But I have one request…”

“Anything.”

“I want _you_ to have fun. I don’t want you stressed out over stupid shit like flowers and dessert wine. It’s all bullshit.  Can you do that, lovely?”

 _Can I handle fun? No stress, and keep it simple. Yeah, I think I can handle that._ “I can.”

He tipped my chin and kissed me like the sweetest taste ever was found on my tongue. My knees went gooey and I may have whimpered just a little. __

“Good,” he said as our mouths parted. “Now go get your coffee fix.” He smacked my ass as he shooed me from the bathroom.

With a smile the size of a Buick, I walked down the hall, took three steps down the stairs, and came to a dead stop. The room below was filled with balloons. Yellow, pink, green, blue, and red balloons bobbed around. I continued my trek down the stairs and waded through the balloons, following the sounds of laughter and conversation tumbling from the kitchen.

“She’s…Happy Birthday, Bella!” Emmett shouted as his eyes caught mine. “Like the balloons? That was all me. I’m totally taking credit for that regardless of what the elf says.”

I chuckled and shook my head. Alice flew out of her chair and Rose followed. They locked their arms around me and squeezed tight. “My birthday isn’t until Thursday. And the balloons are pretty kick ass, Em.”

I heard Alice huff and she stepped away from me, cocked her hip and glared at him.

“Pixie death stare,” he mumbled, cowering in his seat. “Jazz, how do you deal with that shit? It’s scary.”

Jasper chuckled and clapped him on the shoulder. “How do _you_ deal with the beatings?”

“Okay. Yeah, but that’s just a little, temporary ouch. I swear I can feel my brain melting, dude. Call her off.” Emmett put his hands on his head in a protective way, shielding him from the evil elf’s deadly glare.

“All right, little darlin’, we all know you’re the mastermind behind the wall to wall balloons.” Jasper coiled his arms around her thin shoulders; she smiled and sent Em a cocky grin.

“Let’s stuff you full of good food and go do some shopping,” Rose said, pulling me toward the pile of perfectly browned sausages.

“What in the—” Edward’s voice carried into the room and we laughed.

“I take it he knew nothing of the balloons?” I asked, looking to Rose. She shook her head and stuffed a strawberry in her mouth. Seconds later, Edward appeared in the kitchen stretching his head in bewilderment, looking far too cute for words with his still sleep messed hair.

“It’s for her birthday, dude.  The helium tank is in the front room if you wanna have a go at it.” Emmett gestured in the general direction of the living room and grinned.

“Likes the helium?” I asked, leaning over the counter and reaching for the plate of French toast.

Jasper snorted and Rose just shook her head, looking at Emmy’s big, dumb grin.

“Apparently after I stuff my face, the girls are taking me shopping,” I said and then quickly shoved a piece of syrup coated toast in my mouth.

Edward walked over to me, placed his hands on my hips, and curled into me, his chest to my back, and his lips at my ear. “Care if I join you? There is something I’d like to pick up today…with your help.” He kissed my temple and reached around me for a grape.

I turned to face him and silently asked if he meant what I thought he did. He smiled and nodded. I bit at my bottom lip. _Do I want our impromptu engagement outted already?_ “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Um, you two mind letting us in on the conversation. Seems we’re not all on the same channel here,” Rose said.

I turned to the girls. “We need to hit up a jeweller,” I announced cryptically.

“Oh, jewellery, great birthday gift. Major points for you, sir,” Alice said, picking up her empty coffee mug.

“No, I’ve already got her birthday gift.”

I turned slightly to give him a curious eye. I’d already told him no gifts.

Alice and Rose were still as statues while Em and Jazz went about filling in nasty answers for the crossword puzzle in the newspaper. “Twenty-one down could totally be ‘backdoor’.”  He snickered and Jazz wrote it in with a dirty little glint in his eye.

“So then what is there to get at a jewellery store, _Edward_?” Rose asked, looking right at me.

“Rings,” we said seconds off from each other. Our words bounced off one another like an echo in an empty room. That stopped Jazz and Em’s dirty little word play. They both looked up with matching round eyes.

“Rings!” Alice and Rose shouted.

“What? Didn’t see this coming, omniscient elf?” I gave her a purse lipped smile, and Edward chuckled behind me.

“Did you ask her to marry you?”Rose strolled over to where we were standing, cocked her hip like she was cocking a gun and glared at him. It wasn’t an angry glare, more like an ‘are you shitting me?’ glare.

Edward pulled away from me and popped another grape into his mouth. “Yes, yes I did. She almost fucking shot me down, too.” He shook his head at me and gave me a soft smile.

“Oh my god! Two weddings. Oh. My. Shit!” Alice clamoured, jumping on the balls of her fuzzy socked feet.

“Whoa, slow your roll there, my friend. This happened _last night_. I’ve barely—”

Jazz looked at me with a sly smile, interrupting me. “You had sex in my guest bed.” It wasn’t even a question, just a straight up comment.

“We’ll call it even,” I said, nodding.

“I’d burn those sheets,” Em chimed in. No one paid attention to Emmett; it made him pout and that made Rose chuckle.

“Divorce finalized yet?” Jasper asked, in his sticky, summertime drawl, looking down at the crossword again.

I snatched the paper from him and glanced at the empty spaces. “No, but it won’t be long. We filed like five months ago.”

“Ink hasn’t even dried and you’re already on to the next…hussy,” Jasper mocked, shaking a finger at me.

“Fourteen across: Fisting.” I pushed the page back at Jasper and sipped at my coffee.

 

**~EIK~**

“Oh, this one is beautiful,” Rose cooed, staring longingly at a princess cut diamond. The ridiculously _huge_ , diamond ring.

“Nope,” I said, shaking my head.

“You’re no fun.” She huffed before turning her eyes back to the glass case.

_Wipe your mouth, Rosie girl. I don’t think they’d much appreciate your spittle all over the showcase._

“Not finding anything you like here?” Edward asked, coiling his strong arms around me.

I raked my eyes over the mass of sharply cut diamonds and pulled my bottom lip between my teeth. “Um…”

“You might find something to her liking here.” A dark haired man behind the sales counter, Shawn, pushed a business card toward Edward and I. “I’ll eat my _tie_ if she can’t help you find something,” he said, his eyes roaming our faces. I looked down at the card that was now in Edward’s hand.

 _Alana- Jewellery with a Genealogy all its own._ Estate jewellery.

I grinned widely and nodded at Edward, slipping my hand into his. “I get the feeling this would be more her speed,” Shawn said, taking in my expression. “That address is about a thirty minute drive from here. If you like I’ll call ahead and let them know to expect you.”

I turned toward Edward and asked, “Would you mind?”

“We’re not leaving until later this evening. I think we have time.”

We piled into the car and the four of us made our way to Alana’s. The shop was bright, colourful, and sang of old world charm. A woman, looking to be in her late fifties approached us as we walked in.

“You must be the party Shawn called about.” She extended her hand to shake and it was soft and worn and gentle wrinkles had worked into the skin.

“Yes. I’m Bella, and this is Edward.”

“Alana, owner and jewellery slinger,” she announced.

Alana showed us a number of beautiful pieces, some old and gleaming with history, others newer and far too gaudy for my tastes.

“May I,” Alana asked, reaching for my hand. I nodded and turned my hand palm down; she took it and thoughtfully caressed my fingers. “So delicate. Mm, I think I have just the ring. Excuse me for a moment.” Alana flitted out of sight into the back room, only to return moments later with a small, pale peach velvet bag.

She loosened the drawstrings holding it closed and tipped the contents onto my waiting palm. “1920’ish, 18 karat white gold. This is a filigree solitary ring with an old mine cut diamond. The diamond is minimal, but the work on the band and setting is exquisite.”

I studied the ring and Alana was right, so simple and so beautiful. I slipped the ring onto my finger and gazed down at it. I heard Edward chuckle at my side and I turned my eyes to his.

“What?”

“I was prepared to drop obscene amounts of money on this ring and you fall in love with one that’s under a grand.”   

Somewhere behind me Rose snorted.

“It is lovely, isn’t it?” Alana said, looking down at the ring sitting on my left hand.

I tipped my head and looked back down at the ring. It looked and felt utterly perfect, as though it had been molded for my finger alone.

Edward picked up my hand, kissed my knuckles, and passed Alana his credit card. I smiled and nodded, assuring him that, yes this was what I wanted—he was what I wanted.

“Bands?” Alana asked, fishing me out of my Edward induced haze.

“Bands?” I questioned.

“Were you looking to get the bands today too, or is that something you’d prefer to wait on?” she said, looking to Edward and me.

“Oh…bands.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Oh, Christ, get them now and lets a move on. I’m hungry, and that sky is all bunches of wicked looking.” Rose marched over to us, pitching a thumb toward the store front. She was right. The sky outside looked like it was about to open up and devour us all.

Alana helped us quickly pick out the perfect bands for both Edward and I. With our purchase tucked safely into my purse, we booked it for the car, rain pelting us as we ran.

 _“…A severe thunderstorm warning is in effect for the Seattle area until two A.M. Expect hail and high winds. The National Weather Service is also issuing a tornado watch. Better safe than sorry folks…get off the roads and head for dry land.”_  

“Oh no, that’s okay. I didn’t need to go home tonight. I don’t have to work tomorrow. Fuck you, weather dude, and fuck you Mr. Maybe Tornado!” Rose shouted at the radio as Edward carefully navigated the slick roads.

“I’ll call Jazz and tell him not to burn those sheets just yet,” Alice said, unlocking her phone.

Our plans to leave Seattle after dinner had just been effectively kiboshed by mother nature. Rose and I both left messages on the staff hotline, informing them that we’d been trapped in Seattle due to “ _shitty as fuck weather_.” Her words, not mine.

“Pajama party?” I suggested, turning to the girls in the back seat.

“Oh, Sex on the Beach…Liquid Cocaine,” Alice sputtered. “Electric Lemonade…Death by Sex.”

“Um, Alice baby, we still have to leave tomorrow, so a booze induced comma wouldn’t be very helpful,” Rose reminded her.

She slumped down into her seat, her jacked up happy look fading. “Beer and homemade pizza?” she suggested.

“Perfect,” I said, nodding as I turned my attention back to the front of the car. “Are you okay? Did you want to pull over?”

“Nah, we’ll be fine. We just need to stick to side roads and away from the crazy fucks on the interstate,” he said, looking to the rear view mirror.

**~eik~**

What should have taken thirty-five minutes, tops, ended up being an hour drive back to Jasper’s.  Pulling over once because Edward could no longer see the road, so we waited for a break in the downpour.

“Christ woman, I was about to call the National Guard,” Jasper said as Alice made her way through the front door, shaking off the rain.  The worry was plainly etched on his face.

“We had to pull over for a little bit,” she explained, pulling off her squeaking ballet flats.

Jasper collected our jackets and brought them down to the laundry room to dry. Rose and I made for the kitchen, pulling out ingredients for the homemade pizza Alice promised.

“So what are we doing for dinner,” Emmett asked, patting his tummy.

“Pizza,” Alice, Rose, and I chimed at once, giggling.

“What can I do?” Em said, moving toward to kitchen counter.

“Chop, boy.” Rose tossed a green pepper at him that he caught we ease. He set up a cutting board, pulled a knife from the block, and went to work.

Alice began working on the dough and Rose shredded cheese like a pro, yammering on about the rings I didn’t get. I set up next to Em and cut up ham and pepperoni. Edward set the table and music kicked on over head. Jasper had the stereo wired to speakers throughout the house. I thought that was pretty damned genius.

“Okay, let’s put these bad boys in the oven,” Alice said, shoving one of the pizza trays in the oven. “Jazz, can you—”

The lights above flickered and the music skipped a beat, and everyone stopped and looked at each other.

“Looks like we might…” The lights flashed out and the house plunged into darkness. The music ceased. “Lose power,” Edward finished.

“Well shit, now what are we gonna do for dinner?” Emmett asked, somewhere to my left. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve noticed a lot of new followers lately, and to them I say Welcome! If you found this on Fictionators or someone recommended it to you, let me know so I can thank them with sloppy kisses and maybe other inappropriate things. Thanks for reading ladies (no men have come forward, so I think it’s just us girls). Hit up the review and let me know what you’re thinking.


	31. When the Lights go Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Like every other disclaimer, I don’t own Twilight, but the characters offer some pretty excellent inspiration.  
> My tiny, yet mighty team: Maxipoo1024 (uber beta) and Nikkipattinson (validation queen). You’re wonderful!  
> My readers, you’re beyond! Seriously can’t even… love you all something wonderful.  
> Oh, also check out the end notes for some important (at least I think so) shit.  
> Okay, so yes, 3 chapters for one weekend trip to Seattle, nuts, I know, but there’s a lot shakin’ down, so let’s get on with it.

**Chapter 30**

**_~eik~_ **

**_When the Lights go Out_ **

**EPOV**

“Rose, I think you’re the closest to the flashlights…under the sink,” Jasper prompted. I listened to Rose fiddle around for moment or two before popping up from under the sink with a light shining on her face.

She had a wicked grin that was exaggerated by the light and shadows playing on her face. “All right kiddies, gather ‘round the fire,” she said, winking. She handed Jasper a flashlight and then focused her beam on the silent fridge.

“I think I’ve got another flashlight in the basement, and I know there’re more than a few candles around this house. Rose and Em, would you two head upstairs and snag the candles from our bedroom and the guestrooms?”  Jazz asked, heading toward the basement. “We may as well head downstairs, best place if a tornado does decide to blow through here.”

“What about the _food_?” Emmet whined.

“Oh for shit’s sake, boy!” Bella shouted with a chuckle. “Go get the damn candles, and I’ll pull together something. All right, Emmy-Lou?”

“You got jewellery today. I just want food.” I heard him grumble as Rose pulled him from the kitchen. I watched as the single light bobbed away.

Alice struck a match and stood over the kitchen table with the gingerbread scented candle in her hand. “Um, you were just… I didn’t even hear you move…how did you?” I looked in the direction of the oven where Alice had just been standing to the tiny, candle lit woman now across the kitchen.

“Let’s check out the fridge,” she said, hooking her arm in Bella’s and leading her to the fridge.

“Well, we’ve got chips and dip, veggies, potato salad…um I’m not sure what _that_ is?” Bella said, poking a container with her finger.

“Oh, good God, don’t open that! I’m pretty sure that’s left over pot roast from like a month ago. It’s probably a fuckin’ biohazard with legs all its own. Blah.” Alice plucked it from the fridge and walked it to the garbage, holding it out in front of her. The candle light flickered and danced around the room, creating shadows in corners, just barely lighting the room.

I smiled at Alice’s antics. Bella went back to rummaging through the fridge. “Lunch meats, cheese, oh pickles.”

 

**~eik~**

**JPOV**

We sat around in the basement, sprawled out on the couches and the floor, comforters laying over laps, pillows heaped here and there, and a pile food lay in the centre like some kind of fucked up offering. Emmett shoved another handful of chips in his mouth and continued on with his video game creation woes.

“So the beta’s feedback comes back…” chips crunched and flew from his mouth as he spoke “…and it’s all ‘Why aren’t there unlimited spells, and how come this character doesn’t do that, or why is the screen in level six orange?’ Fuck, dude. If you had unlimited ability to cast spells the game would be called _Simple_ , not _Fairy Quest_... _quest_ motherfucker! You know hunt and gather, and look for shit, and solve problems. Christ! And hell if I know why level six is all orange, maybe your console sucks ass.” Emmett finished his rant with a huff.

“That pixie still giving you shit, sir?” Edward asked jokingly.

“Nah, chick flies right now. Actually, she’s the coolest character in the game. Betas bitch that the male characters are weak, but they’re using the wrong ones. It’s the pretty little pixies that rock that game, man.”

“So when does that centre of yours open its doors officially?” I asked, snuggling up to my wife to be.  

“Next month, October 20th is our grand opening.” Edward went on to explain what the two weeks prior to opening its doors to the public would look like. Lots of meetings, staff preparation, and private tours for share holders. The pride radiating from him was almost intoxicating. He spoke about the different departments and the team that has been assembled thus far. His smile was wide and seemingly tattooed to his face.

“Did Bella tell you about the art work?” Edward asked.

Rose nodded. “It was a great idea. All of the schools across the board are participating in ‘Pics for Doc’ this Wednesday. Selected art work is going to be displayed on the walls of the centre,” she said, sounding pleased.

“Aww, that’s so damn cute, and completely perfect,” Alice said with her voice all soft. She relaxed against me a little more. “Oh, we should play Never Have I Ever.”

“What the fuck’s with your throw back to seventh grade, _Alice Brandon_?” Rose squawked. “You want a P.J. party for your bachelorette, and now you wanna play Seven Minutes in Heaven. Making up for a shitty adolescents, Pixie Dust?”

“Never Have I Ever, babe. Get it right,” Em corrected her, snickering. “And why the hell not. What else is there to do at…” he looked down at his watch, squinting at the face “…like seven o’clock at night during a black out?”

“Cards, board game?” Bella suggested, her tone a little nervous. She’d taken up one side of the couch, Rose had taken the other, and Edward was seated on the floor in front of her. In the yellow glow of the candles I saw her face pink up a little. She was embarrassed and unsure, though why, I had no idea. She knew most our dirty little secrets and we knew hers. _Judgment surely wasn’t the habit of anyone sitting in this basement._

“There’s a deck of cards in the cabinet,” I said, standing.

“You don’t like this game do you?” Edward asked.

“Not really,” she whispered barely loud enough for me to hear. She looked down at her hands, keeping her eyes from everyone.

“You know you’re safe to admit anything here, no judgment,” I heard Rose say as I riffled through the cabinet drawer.

Bella lifted her head, smiled softly, and nodded. “I’ll play,” she agreed. “But I’m not drinking any booze.”

I sat back down, cozying up to Alice again.

“Good, I thought I was going to have whine a little. Okay, I’ll go first.” Alice sat quiet in thought for a moment and then smiled. “Never have I ever…been arrested.”

Both Emmett and I drank our respective drinks. Edward looked at me all shocked to shit that the mild mannered southern gentlemen had been in cuffs before. No one was shocked about Emmett though. He’d been arrested twice: once for a bar fight when he was in university, not hard to believe really, and the other came two years ago. Drunk and disorderly— the boy pissed on a silk plant in a hotel lobby at a gaming convention. 

“What?” I shrugged my shoulders. “A protest on campus _may_ have gotten a little out of hand. And I _might_ have had some acid on me.”

Edward chuckled, shaking his head at me.

Alice nudged me. _I guess that means I’m up._ “Never have I ever…cheated on a test.” That was a weak one and I knew it, but I wanted Bella to get a little more comfortable and hopefully relax enough to enjoy the utter stupidity of the game.

Everyone, but myself took a drink. “Bella, I’m shocked!” I said, a look of mock horror plastered to my face.

“Ninth grade calculus. We weren’t allowed to use a calculator,” she explained. “I hated math. I hated my math _teacher._ She was truly evil. She used to announce your test scores as she passed them back. She always made sure to publicly scorn my low scores. I was tired of being humiliated like that, so I cheated.”

“Um, Rain Man had trouble in math?” Edward asked with a smirk on his face as he turned to look at Bella.

“I’ve got a great memory, but that’s where it ends. Ask me to apply the Pythagorean theorem and I’m as good as lost.”

Emmett sat up and cleared his throat, calling our attention.

“Oh shit…what this boy hasn’t done is truly a fucking short list,” Rose said, shaking her head.

“Woman,” he warned, glaring at her. “Never have I ever…um…no wait I totally did that. Wait. Okay, I got it.”

Rose shook her head again and gave a little snort.

“Never have I ever stolen anything.” His smile was all cocky and triumphant.

Rose and Edward drank. Bella smacked Edward’s bicep, mouth agape. “What did you steal?” she asked.

“Penny candy. I was eight and my dad took me to the store to pick up a few things. When he wasn’t looking I stuffed my pocket with Swedish Berries and Blue Fish. I ran up to my room when we got home and ate them under my covers.”

That little bit of unease and embarrassment in Bella slipped away and she laughed, throwing back her head, no doubt picturing a pint sized Edward cowering under his Transformer covers devouring handfuls of gummy goodness.

“Guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree,” Bella mused.

“Rosie, you’re up, baby. Her list is only marginally shorter,” Em said, tipping his head in her direction. “Ouch! No pinching, woman. It leaves marks on my delicate skin.” He rubbed his upper arm and shuffled out of Rose’s reach.

“Never have I ever walked in on my parents having sex,” Rose announced.

“Oh, Jesus, I could go the rest of my life never having to think about that,” Edward groaned as he tipped the glass and took a drink.

“You catch Mom and Pops gettin’ hot and heavy?” Em asked, wagging his brow.

Edward groaned again. I swear I felt a wave of nausea roll through him, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his soured face.

“I was fifteen! What fifteen year old wants to walk into the kitchen to find his mother sprawled out on the table and his dad…” he stopped, swallowed another long sip, and waved his hands in front of his face as though he were chasing away bad smell. “I just wanted a fucking snack. Some fruit roll ups maybe…but no.”

“Aww, babe, it’s okay,” Bella soothed, running her hands through his hair. She was the only one that didn’t drink. We’d all witnessed the sexual misadventures of our parents at one point or another.

“Miss, Bella Bear, I believe it’s your turn,” I pointed out. I gave her a gentle smile.

“Oh, right. Um, never have I ever…had sex in public.” Bella snickered when everyone raised their drinks and whooped a loud ‘cheers!’ before drinking.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you deflowered in the back of a car?” Rose said, pointing a finger at Bella and whirling it around in the air.

“Yes, a car parked in a _garage_. Not public. And that roadside would-have-been a couple of months ago hardly counts.” Bella’s voice was soft, but it held no shame of embarrassment when she looked at Edward.

_Why should it? We’re the pervs lovin’ out in public places. Bunch of animals._

“Something you’ve gotta try _at least_ once, Bells,” Alice said, glancing at me.

The look on Alice’s face, all steamy and sexy, let me know that she’d been thinking of the last time we headed down Exhibitionist Road. She pulled me into a changing room in a department store. Apparently the sight of me in a tux was more than her hormones could handle. She sat me down on the bench, locked the door and unzipped me. I nearly lost my fucking mind when she reached up her skirt and pulled her panties to the side. It had been quick and dirty, and the thrill of being caught made me crazy with lust.

Bella turned to Edward. “You’ve…?”

“Depends on your definitions of _public_ and _sex_ , but yes,” he answered.

“Care to expand on that, Cullen?” Bella said, her eyes were intense and trained on his face.

 

**_~eik~_ **

**EPOV**

_Saying these things out loud could end in badly for you. Caution, man, caution,_ the logical, much more reasonable side of my brain warned me. The side that still behaved like an eighteen year old with a permanent hard on screamed, _This could so turn her on, dude. And Bella going down on you in a crowded theatre, you fucking know it would be hot as hell!_ I swallowed thickly before I answered.  “Uh…well, there was the movie theatre head, but there was only one other couple in the theatre, and we were at the back. Ah, the road job. But we we’re on the interstate, so I guess that’s pretty public.”

“Holy sweet mother of fuck! How is this the first time I’m hearing about this, Cullen? Road job? Holy shit, Sally, were you getting head while you drove?” Bella half shouted, sitting up.

_Cullen? Danger, Will Rogers. Danger!_

“You never asked and no, she was…not blowing me.”   _I’ll just leave out the fact that she begged me to let her do just that. Yeah, leave that out the narrative, Cullen._

Alice and Rose burst out laughing, Bella just stared at me incredulously, and Emmett was going in for the fist bump.

“Eww, wait…that would have been, um, messy, no?” Rose inquired, her face was all screwed up.

I looked around the room, and trying to hide my not so fucking manly blush. “The hand wipes she had stashed in her purse were pretty… _convenient_.”

“So is that it? A few quickies in some pretty public places?” Bella asked, folding her arms over her chest.

“We had sex on her boat. It was docked, the middle of the night, and we were below deck, we couldn’t be seen,” I explained, feeling like I needed to defend myself. I felt like a frog in a pot, slowly boiling and perfectly content, not fully aware that I was about to become dinner.

“But you could be _heard_?” she surmised. I nodded in ascent, the temperature in the pot rising by mere degrees. “Yeah, that counts. Goodies exposed or not, anyone walking by would have known.”

“Ahh, Bells… _we_ heard you,” Emmett said, looking pointedly at Bella. “The night you and Eddie boy dry humped each other. Yeah, Rose and I heard you. So, I mean following your logic, you had sex in public…or some form of it.” He looked rather pleased with himself, and I had to bite back my laugh.

Bella stuck out her tongue. _Christ, she’s cute!_

“Enough with the public sex scandals. It’s my turn again,” Alice sang. “Never have I ever actually wished harm on another person.”

We all drank on that one. I was only human and at least once in my life I’d very seriously thought about inflicting some major harm on another person. 

Collin, the kid that lived down the street from me as a child, was not in my good graces. Ever. He was a mean, evil child. Collin was a year younger than me, and I think that was the only thing that kept me from punching that kid in the mouth.

There was a little boy in his class, Eric, that had Down Syndrome, and he was often the target of Collin’s bullying. I hated seeing Eric terrorized like that. He was a sweet kid with a great disposition on life. I’d told the teachers, which put that neon bull’s-eye on my back for a little while. That was fine by me; it took the heat off Eric.

Jasper’s comment to Bella brought me off the middle school playground and back to the candle-lit basement. “Rose I can see. She’s got a violent streak in her, but I’m honestly a little shocked by you, Bella.”  

Bella shifted on the couch behind me, and I turned my gaze to her. She looked completely ashamed. “After opening that key logger and seeing all those…that stuff…” she said, shaking her head. “I wanted to hurt him. Like _really_ hurt him. I zoned out at my desk and dreamed of ways to end him. Push his head under water until the water grew still. Wrap my hands around his neck, my thumbs pushing into his wind pipe.”

“Wow, maybe you’re the one we should be watching out for,” Emmett said, trying for a joke but missing the mark.

“I hated that I was even capable of those thoughts,” Bella admitted. Her voice was so heavy with shame that it hurt my fucking chest. I stood up, pulled her to stand, and then took her spot on the couch, sitting her in my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and held on tight.

“I fantasized about barbecuing his balls. You’re no different from the rest of us,” Rose reassured her while I ran my hands up and down her arms. “Every day in that court room, my mind came up with a new way to torture those fuckers. Let me tell you, my mind is scary place to be sometimes, but it’s normal. I’m normal. _She_ is not normal.” Rose pointed to Alice.

“What? I’ve never thought anything like that. Not in any serious way. I’ve had fleeting moments where I wished someone would just cease to exist, but I can’t say I’ve ever thought about harming someone.”

“Saint Fucking Alice!” Rose chimed. “See that ain’t normal, especially with your fucked up family. We should get you a habit, maybe a pretty rosary.”

Alice smiled and shook her head; she knew Rose was just poking fun at her to take the heat off Bella. But she was right. It was normal to think and feel those things. What set us apart from the psychopaths was the ability to see the wrong in it and drop it.

The game went on for another round and then we grew bored with it. Jasper broke out the board games, and we played Trivial Pursuit, the 90’s edition, for the next two hours. The men took the first round and the women took the second. The lights flickered a few times, teasing us, but at one in the morning we were still in darkness.

When the storm died down, we decided to snuff the candles and head to bed. Each of us took our flashlights, and a candle or two to our respective bedrooms. Bella stripped out of her jeans and t-shirt and climbed into bed. She opened her arms and waited for me to join her. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed. I turned and planted a soft kiss on the tip of her nose. Our hands linked and the new metal that she wore made my heart tug and pull and throb. But my mind whirled around an errant thought.

When she confessed to thinking about hurting Michael for everything he’d put her through I began to wonder.

“When Michael was in the hospital…did you ever think…?” I didn’t want to finish that sentence. She knew where I was going with it.

“Did I hope for something worse?” she whispered into the stillness of the room.

I nodded my head, caressing her face and neck.

“Yes.” The guilt that poured from that one word was so immense I didn’t understand how she didn’t choke on it.

I didn’t say anything, I just let her speak and process.

“I hated every time my mind ran through a scenario with doctors rushing to save his life and not being able to. But what I hated even more…was that if the injuries killed him, I hadn’t. And not having a part in his death somehow made me feel better about it. Like it absolved me of all those heinous thoughts because _it wasn’t me_ , I didn’t kill him.” She buried her face in my shoulder and I felt tears slide over my bear skin.

“Isabella,” I exhaled. Her hurt pushed all the air from my lungs. There was nothing I could to console her. I knew how she felt.

When Tanya was in her final stages, inching ever closer to death, I prayed for it. I wished and hoped for her ending and I felt like a monster for wanting it so much. The circumstances were completely different but the anger and guilt, the emotions tied to it, those were the same. I understood.

After a few moments of silence, I felt like I needed to pull her from the thoughts no doubt looping through her beautiful brain. “So were you seriously pissed that I’d…uh, had a little sexy times in public?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “No. Jealous,” she admitted, wiping nearly dried tears from her cheeks. “I’ve never been that horny and just taken with someone so much that I wanted to jump them in a theatre.”

“Not even me?” I swept brown hair away from her eyes.

“Um… I cannot tell a lie. But I can decline to answer, right?”

“No.  No pleading the fifth here, Isabella.”

“Um, on the way here, the first time we met. Naughty things were running through my mind. Rose and Emmett be damned! Rafters, the pool tables. Bend me over and fuck me was a pretty prevalent thought that night.”

“Rafters? The bar we went to the last…we’d known each other for hours! You whore!” I joked, kissing her temple.

“Um, the jewellery store today,” she continued.  “Oh, when we were playing darts last week with the girls from work. That long, dark hallway was tempting.”

“Christ, you should tell me about this things, woman. I’m not a mind reader!”

“Would you have done anything about it if I had?”

My dick twitched at the purr in her voice. _So damned sexy._  

“Most defiantly, Isabella,” I said, licking the shell of her ear. Her purr turned into a groan and when my hand slid up to cup her breast, the groan morphed into an airy moan. What was left of her clothing came off, and I moved to rest my face between her legs. She let them fall to the sides and ran her fingers through my hair. I pushed my tongue inside, slid my fingers in as far as they would go, and listened to her pants and pretty little curses.

She came with both hands gripping my hair and one leg nearly wrapped around my shoulder in a death grip. When I slid my cock inside her, she made a loud surprised sound, gasping to take in what air her lungs would allow. I didn’t bother to cover her mouth or hush her. Her sounds were divine and fuck them if they heard her screaming my name.

I came hard, unable to make a sound. My voice was trapped in my chest somewhere.  Bella hadn’t come that time, but she assured me she was more than sated and kissed the unholy shit out of me before falling to my side and snuggling into my embrace. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tune that played many a time while this chapter was written is by The Black Keys and is the title inspiration, When the Lights Go Out. Check it out. Great song, I first heard it in the movie Black Snake Moan. Great movie, go watch it. 
> 
> http://youtu.be/6KwiyiFkQmg 
> 
> And now for the important shit. Peace One Day. Maybe you’ve heard of it, maybe not. Sept. 21 has been declared by the UN as Peace Day, a day of cease-fire and non-violence. And they’re asking for our help. Here’s a little more about it.  
> Recognising that fanfiction readers and authors are a huge, connected community, we are encouraging you to use your collective power to make a difference in the world.  
> The non-profit organisation Peace One Day led the process that resulted in the UN declaring September 21st as Peace Day. Every year, Peace One Day partners with a range of organisations from around the world to raise awareness of the day and to encourage Peace Day activities by all sectors of society, including life-saving activities in the name of peace — things like distribution of humanitarian aid, vaccinations, and trainings that help people improve their lives. Through efforts like this, in 2008, Peace Day marked a 70% reduction in violent incidents in Afghanistan. Ceasefire agreements by all parties to conflict in the country, including the Taliban, resulted in millions of children being vaccinated because health and aid workers were able to travel without fear for their lives.  
> This year, Peace One Day is working to see the largest global reduction of violence, and the largest gathering of individuals in the name of peace, on one day – Peace Day 2012. The Global Truce 2012 campaign will set an important marker for future Peace Days and reinforce the value of this unique annual day as a foundation for long-term sustainable peace.  
> What can you do?  
> Copy and paste this text into your next Author’s Note. Use your power within the fandom to spread the word:  
> •Visit www.peaceoneday.org/fanfiction-for-peace/ and sign-up for the Global Truce campaign  
> •Watch this video about Peace One Day: http://youtu.be/ysx0YJgefiM  
> •Like Peace One Day on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/peaceoneday  
> •Tweet for Peace! Visit http://www.peaceoneday.org/fanfiction-for-peace to get sample tweets you can use to spread the word with your followers. We’re using the #fanfic4peace hash tag. Let’s see if we can get it to trend!  
> •Tell your friends! Share this message with friends both in your fandom, in other fandoms, and in the RL!
> 
> Thx!  
> ~Jen


	32. Filter Malfucntions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: All right, let’s set shit straight. I don’t own Twilight. So please don’t slap me with infringement rights crap, okay. Okay.  
> You ever getting the feeling that you’ve fucked something up, but you can’t figure out what? Yeah, that feeling all day long today. But enough of that!  
> Oh, I’m hosting/judging whatever you wanna call it a Writing Contest. Public Lovin’ Twilight Fan Fiction Contest. We want your out in the open kink, baby! Here’s the link http://publiclovinfanfictioncontest.blogspot.ca/?zx=ef035dfee09b88e5  
> If you’re reading on FF.net go to: public lovin fanfiction contest (dot) blogspot (dot) ca – Put the dots and W’s where they belong and kick out the spaces and you’re golden.  
> Note: There’s a wee time jump here folks. And a teeny squeeze of citrus.

 

**Chapter 31**

**~eik~**

**Filter Malfunctions**

**BPOV**

“Fuck if I have any idea, Edward!” I shouted over my shoulder. It had been like this all day. He’d hurl some asinine question at me, and I’d toss out my standard and very honest answer of “I don’t know.” He would huff and give me a withering look, and I would storm off spitting jelly beans because he couldn’t seem to keep off my ass for more than ten minutes at a time.

“Well I figured since you were the last to use it, you’d know where the hell it was!” I heard him grumble from the bedroom.

If he kept that shit up, I’d throw him outside for the bears. “I put the phone on the cradle where I always put it, Edward. Did ya look there?” My voice might have been half-mock, half-moody, frustrated bitch. Of course, I was sure all he heard was moody bitch.

“Yes, _Isabella Marie_ , I looked there.”

_That little shit middle named me!_

“Hit the pager.” _Genius,_ I thought to myself. Seconds later, the pager beeped, altering Edward and I that the phone was somewhere on the first floor of the house. He came down the stairs in a quick step. The sleeves of the dark green v-neck sweater he was wearing were pushed up, and I watched his arms flex as he moved around the main floor.

_Holy Hanna, the boy’s hot! And what the Christmas is wrong with you? Ten seconds ago you wanted to remove his vocal cords. Now you want to remove his pants. Whore!_

“I can hear it…” He moved into the kitchen and we listened to the sound of the phone’s pager ringing somewhere nearby. “Where the hell is it?”

I shrugged my shoulders in answer.

We moved away from the counter, following the sound and came to stop in front of the fridge. My eyebrows shot up, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward give me the side eye. “Why is the fridge ringing, Bella?”

Again, I shrugged. I reached out and opened the fridge door: salad dressing, left over casserole, no phone. I looked over at Edward and I couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous look on his face. His brow was tugged into the centre of his forehead, and his head was cocked to the side. He looked lost and completely cute.

I opened the freezer door and there in the ice box was the phone. I took it out, handed it to him, and gave him a weak smile.

He pushed the talk button to shut it off and then walked back to stand against the counter. “Kitten? When is your period due?”

I curled my lip and levelled a glare at him that would singe the ball hair off a man twice his size, yet he did not flinch. “I don’t know, a week. Why?” I asked, fully aware that I sounded like a petulant child. 

“Well…you’ve gone evil. You’ve been trying to chew my face off since I walked in the door this morning, and you’re putting phones in freezers. Just a theory, but PMS maybe?”

“PMS? Really, Edward? And who the hell says _I_ put the phone in there? Hmm?” I wouldn’t cop to it, because the fact that he accused me pissed me off, but I totally did put that phone in the ice box.

He sighed and shot a pitying glance at me, and that made my blood boil just a little, too. Christ, maybe it was PMS.

“Love, your mother and Phil will be here in less than three hours. Why don’t I run you a bath and you can relax for a while and I’ll finish up with the cleaning, okay?” 

I wasn’t about to argue. If a man volunteers to run you a bath _and_ clean the house, you take the offer. Moreover, it would be a half an hour that Edward wouldn’t spend riding my ass. I smiled and shuffled toward the bathroom.

I entered the bathroom and started haphazardly pulling off clothes, and he veered to the bedroom to return the phone to its cradle. _Yeah, yeah, bad girlfriend misplaces the phone and lies about it_. 

I sank into the hot, bubbly water and let my limbs relax and my mind mellow. Alice’s wedding was in a week, and my own was only six months away. We’d decided on a few things thus far, mostly the when and the where at that point. The date had been set for the last weekend in April. There was no significance to the date whatsoever. Edward and I had pretty much played pin the tail on the wedding date, randomly flipping through the calendar and blindly pointing to a date. The where was easily chosen as well: the local court house.

Alice was far from geeked about that prospect, but that was what we wanted, pixie be damned.

The mere thought of dress shopping gave me hives. I was determined to find something simple, understated, and _nothing_ like my first dress. The big white puffy dress was not going to happen, but I couldn’t rob Edward of that first glance as I made my way down that really short aisle. As adamant as he was about the casual nature of the affair, I knew damn well and good that he’d had that vision of me in white. So I would give him that. I knew that if he’d asked for more, as scared and hesitant as I was, I would give it to him. The boy wouldn’t even have to beg. Much.

“Love, wake up,” a hazy voice called out.

I wanted to hold on to the pictures in my mind. _Edward in a dark suit, green eyes bright and gleaming, smiling at me with that cocky, ever sure grin of his. He spun me around and held me tight, pulling me against his body._

“No sleeping in the tub, babe. Wake up, Bella.”

I felt a firm grip on my shoulder and with it, the sexy man in my dream dispersed like ink in water. I opened my eyes to see that same slanted grin I had dreamed about surveying my face. “Enjoy your nap?” he asked, shaking his head at me.

I moaned and stretched in the now cool bath water. I felt like Jell-o and after taking a quick peek at my hands, I realized I looked like a prune. “I did. Thank you,” I said, raising my hand for him to take. He helped me from the tub and wrapped an oversized towel around me, rubbing my arms.

“So the cleaning is done, roast in the oven, wine chilling, and the guest bedroom is made up,” he said, kissing my forehead.

“Holy crap, how long have I been in the tub?”

He grabbed my brush and began running it through my hair. “Um, just about an hour. Had I known you’d tucked off to sleep in here, I would have come in sooner.” There was the slightest give to his features that told me the idea of losing me had run through his mind.

“Sorry. I must have been more exhausted then I thought.”

Edward led me to the bedroom, and gently tugged the giant grey towel off me. He sat me on the edge of the bed and picked through my closet and drawers, choosing dark brown cords and a light creamy blouse. With care, and not a single word spoken, he helped me get dressed, sliding my underwear into place, pulling the cotton soft tank top over my head, and fastened the button on my shirt while I fixed the sleeves. Before leaving the room, he swept his warm fingertips across my cheek bone.

**~eik~**

“Mom, I can’t believe how long your hair is!” I squealed as she threw her arms around me. The last time I saw my mother her hair was pulled up in a neat bun, and had fallen to her shoulders in light caramel waves. Now it lay long and perfectly fussed, almost to her waist. Her light pink lips curled into a smile that brought me home. I missed her. I held her tighter and breathed in her English rose scent.

“Well you look all sorts of happy, baby,” she said, tucking my hair behind my ears. “And I believe I have you to thank.” She turned to Edward, and much to his surprise, she threw her arms around him. “The sex must be out of this world. She’s never looked so good.” She turned to me, and winked, a salacious smile pinned on her face. Next to me, Phil chuckled and I rolled my eyes.

Edward’s face turned a stunning shade of red, and he looked to my mother as if she’d just spoken some ancient language. “It’s…uh…nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Dwy—”

“Agh, none that missus shit. Renee,” she insisted, pulling away from him to really look at him.

She sidled up next to me and whispered, in a not so whisper like pitch, “He’s pretty.” I shook my head at her and wrapped an arm around her waist, leading her from the front entrance.

Edward reached his hand out to Phil, who’d been standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets watching the whole thing go down, looking more than a little amused. “Phil, nice to meet you.”

“Good to know ya, Edward. And yes, she’s always like this. No, it’s not booze or drug induced. That’s pure Renee right there.” I heard him say as I brought my mom into the front room. Edward and Phil brought the bags up to the guest room and we collapsed on the couch.

“So the sex is good?” she asked, looking all too serious, which made me laugh.

“Fantastic. Can we move on to another topic now?” I knew good and well that if I didn’t answer her question she’d just become more persistent, and louder.

“How’s work?” she asked with a big, smug grin on her face.

“Wonderful. All of my kids seem to be back in the grove. But, you know, the first few weeks are always a little bumpy. I’ve got two new kidlings this year,” I announced just as Phil and Edward joined us.

“Any major injuries yet?” Phil asked, lacing his fingers together.

“Nope. Not me, but one of my EAs at PA High School was stabbed in the hand with a pencil last week.”  Jeff, one of the few male EAs, took a pencil to the hand while explaining a math assignment to one of his students. Caleb could be a very trying child to work with. Intellectual disability aside, Caleb also suffered from a mild form of psychosis, which often translated to odd behaviour and the occasional strike of violence. Jeff and Caleb had been working together since the boy was in middle school and Jeff had an excellent rapport with him, which saved his ass on numerous occasions—just not that one.

“Oh, Christ,” Phil moaned. 

“Jeff’ll be taking a much needed, paid vacation for next six months while his hand heals. If it heals,” I explained.

We sat around for another twenty minutes and got reacquainted, and then moved to the kitchen for dinner. We talked careers, Edward’s new centre, Phil’s plans to retire next year, and Mom’s herb garden. I was fairly certain my mother was growing more than mint and sage in that garden. Her witty and offbeat humour had Edward laughing all evening long, but that was no surprise, hippie or not, my mother was easy to love.

“So you’re marrying my daughter?” Renee said, her wine glass hovering around her lips.

“I am.” His answer was steady and strong.

“She talks in her sleep,” she offered.

“I know.”

“Bites her lips when she’s nervous, angry, horny.”

“Mom!” I hollered, not really shocked at all. The woman had zero filter.

“What? Go ahead and tell me it’s a lie.”

“She also bites it when she’s thinking really hard about something,” Edward said, grinning at me.

“Have you figured out how she’s got her books and movies set up?” Mom asked, looking to Edward with a sly little smile on her face.

Edward shook his head and put his fork down. “No. Seems utterly random.”

“I thought so too. But no. One of the first movies I took her too as a kid was The Goonies, first on the shelf. Last on the shelf is Dangerous Liaisons, made in the 80’s. But when had you first seen it, Bella Donna?”

“Three months ago,” I answered. It had been on television late one night and I kind of fell in love with it and bought it a few days later.

“Her books are set up the same way. In the order she read them, not the author, year, or title,” my mom explained, looking at Edward. “And God help you, boy, if you fuck with that order.”

“So are we done talking about me?” I pushed away from the table and collected my plate and Phil’s.

“Not by a long shot, baby cakes!” Renee looked positively delighted at the prospect of outing my every eccentricity.

And so it went on. Mom filled Edward in on every embarrassing thing she could think of. She prattled on about how I’d fainted when I got my first period. She thought that was an acceptable topic because “ _He’s a doctor, Bella.”_   She pulled out old memories of my wobbly toddler years, my quiet, not so rebellious teens, and even managed to unearth the long buried memory of my first kiss. Jordie Hamlin. I was seven, still in pig tails, and he was cute with all his red hair and freckles. I ran up to him on the playground and smacked my eager little lips to his, only to have him throw up his ham and cheese lunch all over the front of my yellow and purple daisy dress. I’d forgotten all about Jordie.

**~eik~**

“I kind of love that boy,” my mom said moments after Edward had left for the night.

I smiled and cuddled up next to her on the couch. Phil had turned in already, and I could hear his gentle snore from the living room. “I kind of love him too, Mom.”

“He’s good for you…good _to_ you. The way you move together, like you anticipate what the other needs. Give and take. Push and pull. It’s interesting to watch. He loves you very much.” Her eyes went all soft and contemplative.

“I know it’s so early in our—”

“Stop right there,” she halted me. “I don’t care if you met _yesterday_. If it’s right, it’s right. Social norms can take a flying jump off a short pier. Or…that other much more common euphemism.” It wasn’t exactly unheard of for my mother to mince sayings. Her most notable Renee-ism, “Six of one, and a dozen of the other.” I corrected her on that more times than I’d fallen off my own damn bike (which was a lot), but the woman still got it wrong.

“It doesn’t bother you that we’ve only been together like six months?” I asked.

She turned her body to face me. “No, not in the slightest, baby. He’s what you want, and he makes you happy. That’s enough for me.” She waved her hand the space between us, as if pushing the thought to the side. “Plus he’s hot.”

“Oh, perfect my mother’s developed a crush on my fiancée.” I mock groaned and rolled my eyes in an overly dramatic fashion.

“What can I say, Isabella, he’s a cutie-patutie.”

“His ass really is spectacular,” I said with a coy smile.

“Now you’re talkin’!” She laughed and patted my knee. “So how did Charlie take all this?”

I shifted and turned a little more toward her. “His first thought was that I was pregnant. Mom, you should have seen the look on his face.” I chuckled at the memory.  “He went from pissed and looking to load his shot gun to completely elated in about five seconds flat. Then right back to pissed again. Poor old man didn’t know what to do with himself.  His eyes were all wide and round. Finally Edward piped up and said, “I need her Charlie,” and that was it. Dad threatened to remove his testicles with an old, rusty fishing lure if he ever broke my heart, then shook his hand, and welcomed him to the family.”

“So Charlie really likes him then?” Mom said with just a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

I laughed and nodded. “Charlie really likes him.”

“When is he moving in?”

“March 1st, that’s when the lease is up on his loft,” I answered.

“So dinner tomorrow with the in-laws?”

“You’ll love them, Mom. Carlisle is sweet and kind…and has a candy fetish.” I titled my head to the side and smiled. “Seriously,” I deadpanned.

“We all have our demons,” Mom said, chuckling and shaking her head.

“And Esme is feisty and passionate. They both have a great sense of humour. You’ll like them,” I assured.

“If you love them, I’m sure I will.” She stood up, dropped a kiss to my forehead, and wandered toward the stairs. “I need sleep. Good night, Bella Donna.”

“Night, Mom.”

I gathered up the stray coffee mugs, washed them in the sink, and grabbed my cell phone before heading upstairs to bed.

**~eik~**

**EPOV**

My cell phone chirped from the pocket of my discarded jeans. I groaned and rolled off my bed, snagging the pants and searching the pockets.

**You should have stayed. ~B**

I smiled and crawled backed into bed, pulling the covers up over my body.

**_Why is that? ~E_ **

Her response came quickly, and I if shut my eyes, I could see the coy smile that was no fucking doubt stitched on her face.

**Because sex with the parents in the next room is all sorts of naughty. And kind of hot. ~B**

That woman was fucking killing me. She’d run hot and cold all day. Pawing at me one minute, shooting daggers at me the next. _PMS is a nasty, heinous bitch…but if kitten wants to play…_

**_Hot? Yes, very hot. And dirty, and we’d be so busted with all those wanton little sounds you make. ~E_ **

I couldn’t help teasing her. She started it.

**Are you in bed? ~B**

**_Yes. ~E_ **

**Naked? ~B**

**_Yes. ~E_** The woman knew damn well I was without clothes. But I was willing bet my Volvo that she was not. Tank top and sleep pants was my guess, preferably the pale lavender set. The top was a size too small and clung to her fantastic tits like a second skin.

**Fuck me! ~B**

I coughed out a laugh and then typed, **_I would have. But not in your room. ~E_**

**No? Where? ~B**

**_No. I would have brought you to the laundry room and fucked you against the washer.  Quiet, away from the sleeping guests. Door closed, pinned against the cold metal. ~E_ **

**Oh. My. Shit. ~B**

**_Your clothes are in a pile on the floor, and you’re propped up on the washing machine. Legs spread wide for me. My fingers are sliding and pushing. ~E_ **

Her response was delayed. My guess was that she was busy doing what I was fantasizing about. My second guess, and knowing Isabella, oh so very fucking likely, she was tip-toeing to the laundry room.

**You didn’t fold the towels right. But we’ll discuss that later. Now I just want your mouth on me.  ~B**

_Didn’t fold the towels right? Really? I’m talking about fingering her and she wants to talk towels?_

**_Are you sitting up on the washer, Isabella? ~E_ **

**Yes. Are you going to go down on me, Edward, or do I have to beg? ~B**

_Looks like feisty Bella’s come out to play. Feisty, naughty Bella has a dirty little mouth, and I want to hear it._ I dialed her number, putting the phone to my ear.

“You’re going to make me beg, aren’t you?” she said by way of greeting.

“Maybe a little, kitten.”

“Please, Edward. I want your head between my thighs.”

Oh. Fuck. Me. I palmed my dick and groaned. I pictured her leaning back on the cold, white appliance, one knee bent, foot resting on the lid. The other leg slung over my shoulder.  God damn that was a glorious thought.

I coaxed her and verbally teased her, and listened to every dirty little word and pant. When I told her I wanted her to slide three fingers inside her, she kind of lost it a little and moaned. Really loud. Door closed or not, if either one was a light sleeper, they would have heard her.

I stroked when Bella told me to, squeezed when her breathe caught, and I ran my thumb over the head of my cock when she announced in a breathy whisper that she was coming.

“Keep talking to me, baby.” I could hear her breathing even out, and I knew she was coming down, but I wasn’t quite there yet.

Without missing another beat, she picked right back up. “Put your hands in my hair. Guide my mouth. Can you feel my lips sliding over you, Edward?”

“Oh, Christ!” I gripped harder, stroked faster.

A few more well timed words and she had me coming hard.

I said good night to my beautiful girl, cleaned up, and went right back to bed. My head spun as picture after picture of Isabella flashed through my mind. Bella in a white dress with my ring on her finger. My mother embracing her, smiles on both of their faces. Charlie shaking my hand, Bella standing next to him. The last thought I had before I drifted off to sleep was of Bella sitting in a rocking chair, her belly obviously round with my child. My heart gave a sad squeeze, knowing that was something that may never happen for us. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End Notes: Special request: On FFn we’re pretty damned close to 500 reviews...let’s push that bitch on over! Twilighted as a little longer to push before they hit that number and well, ADF and AO3, 500 is fucking pipe dream, BUT I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING THIS.


	33. Potty Mouth and The Hippie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: *Come on people, this isn’t your first time out to the game. We all know I don’t own Twilight, but as the diligent and faithful readers you are, you should also know that I’ve got a serious chocolate addiction. That’s my disclaimer this time around. Deal with it.*  
> I know you’ve all become a little dependant on the lemony taste of the more recent chapters, but no lemons here. Sorry. I’ll take full blame for any withdrawal-like symptoms you may experience.  
> Come find me on Twitter, we’ll chat, swap RobPorn. @JanuarysFiction

**Chapter 32**

**~eik~**

**_Potty Mouth and The Hippie_ **

**BPOV**

Edward sat on the edge of my bed and watched as I slipped my dress on, fixed my hair—which he thought was best up away from my neck—and applied my makeup. As I pushed my feet into black sling backs, I wondered how this would work. Our families, my past, our future, all sitting in the same room. Would they all get along? Would it be awkward to have Mom and Dad together again with their new significant others?

 It all worried me just a little and it _may_ have shown in the six wardrobe changes I’d made or the fidgeting. Or maybe the giveaway was in the way I _repeatedly_ asked poor Edward if his parents could handle all the fucked up strangeness that might go down tonight.

He assured me again and again with soft smiles and easy glances that he and his family would cope just fine with any crazy my family could dish out.

“Bella, baby, can you get this?” Mom stepped into my room and handed me a delicate gold necklace. “Phil’s all thumbs.” She turned away from me and pulled her long caramel hair out of the way so I could fasten the clasp.

“There,” I said, fixing the chain and offering my mother a small but genuine smile.

Her soft grey eyes scanned me once, and she grinned in a way that made her look ten years younger. “You look stunning in that dress. That red…” She caressed my arm and looked to the simple red dress again. “So perfect against your skin.”

“Thanks, Mom. I’m ready if you are?”

 

**~eik~**

We arrived at Esme and Carlisle’s home a little after four in the afternoon. Fall had set into every tree and the smelled of damp leaves hung thick in the air. The front porch was littered with potted Mums in dark rust and burnt yellows. A pumpkin sat guard next to the door, his face carved into a happy grin.

Marshmallows and sweet potatoes saturated the air around me as I stepped through the front doors.  The house smell like comfort and that worked to ease me just the slightest. “Edward, your father thinks he’s right again.” I heard a voice coming from the kitchen.

Edward peeled my coat off and then offered to help my mother. “Dad, you know better than that,” he called back. 

I smiled and Renee chuckled next to me.

Esme rounded the corner, whipping her hands on her jeans. She looked down at her open hands then to her jeans and whatever it was that she just smudged all over them. “Shit. Oh well, too late now,” she murmured and shrugged, walking toward us.

“Mom, this is Renee and Phil Dwyer, play nice,” Edward said, feigning a warning glance.

 “Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer, so nice to meet you. Don’t let the boy throw you off. I’m always on my best behaviour.”

I watched Esme look them both over with a gentle, but analytical eye. I knew judgment wasn’t her cup of tea, but still my blood pressure spiked a little. I couldn’t seem to help it.

“I see a lot of Bella in you, or rather the other way around, I guess. The lines of your face are remarkably similar,” Esme commented, smiling back at me. 

A snort erupted from the living room. “Best behaviour,” I heard Carlisle mumble as he walked in into the hall, his hands folded into his pockets.

“Looks like the son got the swagger from the father,” my mother commented in a causal manner.

I burst into a flames right there on the spot. _Holy Hanna, did she just say that shit out loud?_ _Mortified, I…am…mortified._  “Mom,” I whined, sounding a hell of a lot like my thirteen year old self. _Go ahead, stomp your feet. You know you want to_.

“Bella, you’ve met my mom, right? Potty mouth princess of Washington State? I wouldn’t worry too much about appearances here.” Edward put a hand on my lower back and dipped his head so his mouth was mere inches from my ear. “Relax, they’re not perfect either.” His warm breath washed over me, and I felt my embarrassment wane.

“Potty mouth, eh? Well, I’m lacking a filter. And I think we’ll get along just fine.” Renee and Esme nodded at one another and the introductions continued, along with a little small talk in the front hall.

“Charlie and Sue here yet?” Phil asked, scoping out the kitchen.

“Nope. Should be along soon enough though,” Carlisle mumbled around a mouth full of mini marshmallows.

“Carlisle, for Christ’s sake! Eat another one of those, and I’ll make you do that PX90 workout with me tomorrow morning,” Esme barked, swiping a wooden spoon through the air like a sword.

“Hollow threat,” Carlisle said and popped one more tiny, white cube into his mouth before dodging the spoon and opening the fridge to offer drinks.

I smiled at the exchange and shook my head at Carlisle. “Can I help with anything?” I asked, looking around at the cluttered counters.

“Nope, sit you cute butt down. Mama Cullen’s got this, sweetie. Oh, shit! I have—” Esme stammered as she flitted from the room.

The only ones that didn’t share the confused look were Edward and Carlisle, both just watched her go and shrugged.

“She might have forgotten her underwear again?”  Carlisle said in way of explanation, smirking.

“Oh, you two crazy birds will get along just fine,” Phil said and laughed.

“Don’t marry a highly logical, ridiculously intelligent woman. It’ll get boring fast.” Phil winked at Carlisle. “Go for the sometimes scattered, kind of crazy, beautiful, smart women. So much more entertaining.”  All three men nodded and shared a goofy smile.

_So I’m kind of crazy and scattered, huh?_ I could deal with that.

_Mama Cullen_ waltzed back into the kitchen, toting a card and a handful of dark yellow sunflowers tied in a bright red ribbon. “We didn’t get to see you on your birthday.” She thrust the card and bouquet at me, smiling. “Beautiful, aren’t they?”

“Very,” I said, taking them and smiling at her and Carlisle for their thoughtful gesture. “Thank you.” I opened the card and read the sweet, honest words Esme had penned.

_‘Beautiful, Bella girl, I don’t know where to start. Thank you for being everything my boy needs and wants. I’ve wanted nothing less than the world for him, but you’ve given him so much more. The sun, the stars, the round, pale moon. You’ve made his world whole and perfect.  Thank you for that. Happy birthday._

_Love ,_

_Esme and Carlisle_

_P.S. Carlisle gets zero credit for this card, but he did hand pick the flowers for you. He said they reminded him of you.’_

 

Tears made my vision swim, and I had to blink them back to see the smiling, joyous face of my mother-in-law to be. She wrapped her warm, soft arms around me and squeezed the holy shit right out of me.

“Esme, the card is…” I didn’t know what to say. _What do you say to a woman when she tells you you’re just what she wanted for her only son?_ “…Perfect.”

She waved off my thanks, her eyes looking a little watery. “Pfft. So what did my sappy, thoughtful son get you?”

Edward piped up, clearing his throat. “A new playlist,” he announced with a satisfied look on his face.

“A playlist?” Renee and Esme chimed in unison.

“Yes. Tunes, music.” Edward took a defensive posture that was too cute for fucking words. I wanted lick him.

Emse cocked her head, Renee cocked her hip, and Carlisle and Phil sipped cold beer. “So you went on to that UTunes and what? Downloaded a few songs?” Esme looked unimpressed and I felt a little bristled.

“iTunes, Mom,” Edward corrected, rolling his eyes.

“What’s the one with the _you_?” she asked, glancing over her shoulder at Carlisle. 

“Youtube, sweetheart,” Carlisle answered.

My mother and Phil stood in the centre, heads ping ponging back and forth like spectators in a verbal tennis match. Edward served, Esme smacked it back, and then the ball was in Carlisle’s court. It was entertaining to watch. This was the Cullen brand of nutty and though it didn’t include a pot smoking mom or gun toting father, listening to them washed away the rest of my worries. 

“Right. Whatever. You downloaded music for her? Is that like today’s _mixed tape_? Cute gesture, but sad as fuck birthday gift, Edward Anthony,” his mother chastised, wagging her lavender painted finger.

“No, it was perfect. Really,” I said in soft tone. “When we met, that drive to Seattle with Rose and Emmett turned out to be a little rough for me. Music…was a bit of a trigger. A lot of good songs were suddenly turned into terrible memories. Edward gave me _new_ music and _new_ memories. It was perfect.”

“See, _perfect_. So retract the kitty claws, ladies,” Edward said with a sly grin.

Just as my mother was no doubt going to make some big mouthed, snarky comment, the front door opened and a confident, heavy voice called out, “Hello!”

Carlisle and Esme went to greet Charlie and Sue at the front door. After the awkward as all hell hellos between my estranged parents, we all settled in the front room while dinner cooked.

**~eik~**

I was hoping that my past would stay where I put it— in a tiny box, on a dusty shelf in the corner of my mind. But with a room full of curious people, it was really never out of reach. Throughout the night it worked its way into our conversations in the form of little comments and simple questions.  I realized then that although I’d been working to push that part of my life behind me, it never really went far. Michael would always be there. I just needed to figure out how my new life worked with that dim, blurry shadow of him, of us, trailing behind me. 

“He sent a bouquet about two weeks ago, congratulating me on my engagement,” I said, staring down at my coffee. “I called to thank him…see how he was doing.” Mike had no doubt heard the news through the thin and strangled grapevines that surrounded Forks. He seemed honestly pleased with the news, and his voice was sincere when he wished us all the best. Michael was released from the hospital about a week after the incident, but he’d continued to struggle with the fallout long after.

The aphasia slowly began to fade about two weeks after his release. Still, he suffered migraines and nerve damage that caused an uncontrollable twitch in his left hand. But the worst of it was the anxiety and nightmares. Post traumatic stress disorder. Michael was now taking a healthy dose of anxiolytics to help him cope. Hearing he relived that night every time he closed his eyes made my heart hurt.

“He’s better,” I said, hoping no one saw the pity and sadness in my eyes.

Sue was prompt to change the subject. “Our dear old friend Mrs. Mortise stopped by the shop last week.” Sue owned a small craft and pottery store on the reservation, and for anyone it was a quite the drive. But for a nosy old lady with nothing better to do, it was a welcome little side trip.

“She came in under the guise of needing a gift for a friend. She didn’t do much shopping, but she sure gave that old wrinkly jaw of hers wag,” Sue said, shaking her head. “ _’Surely Charlie doesn’t approve’,_ and _‘Is the divorce even finalized yet?’_ Finally, I’d had about enough and told her that if she came to preach her twisted morals, she could just shuffle on down the road, that even though Bella wasn’t kin, she was family all the same, and I wouldn’t stand for her cutting down my family like that.” She nodded her head and looked directly at me, offering me a warm smile. “That sent her packing. Evil old harpy.” 

I loved Sue. She always had that fierce mama bear type vibe about her. Looking at my own mother, I saw her eyes soften and she nodded at Sue, understanding in their eyes.

“So where are we in the way of plans?” Mom said, rubbing her hands together like an evil genius plotting to take over the world. _Very Pinky and the Brain_ , I thought. _So who’s the half-wit side kick here?_

I groaned and Edward snatched my hand up, pulling it onto his lap. “City Hall on April 27th, three in the afternoon,” Edward stated very matter-of-factly.

“Please don’t say it. Don’t say barbecue,” my mother moaned, her head hung.

“No, actually Bella chose to have it catered by a local restaurant. No cooking, no clean up. Easy.” He smiled at me and squeezed my hand.

“Oh, and where is it being held? Oh let me guess, that lovely hall down on—”

“Here,” Carlisle piped up, looking all proud papa. “The yard is huge, more than enough room for everyone and their dancing shoes.”

For a while Renee, the ever chat-bunny, was perfectly silent. That made me nervous.

Charlie was quick to swoop in and save me. “The yard is beautiful, Renee. And it’s what they want, so keep the pie hole stuffed unless it’s to tell them that an outdoor reception is a wonderful idea.”

“I…I was actually just picturing it, _ass-jack_ ,” Mom said with a hint of acid running through her tone. She turned to look at me. “When you and Mike started making your plans, the church and the grand hall all decked out, I…it wasn’t you. It wasn’t what I pictured _for you_. _This_ , this is what I always envisioned. Choke on that _Charles Thomas Swan_!”

Next to Dad, Sue chuckled, patting his hand. The banter between Mom and Dad was never born of evil, it was just them—who they’d become and how they’d learned to relate to one another in the years following their divorce.

“Middle names are never good,” Carlisle said, standing to collect the dessert plates. “I hear mine _a lot.”_

Esme chuckled. “You _deserve_ to hear it a lot, marshmallow thief.”

“God, that was frustrating. Too many opinions and mine was the only one that should have counted.” I recalled the comments about baby’s breath and white table linens, and the boutonnieres and how much I just wanted it to be done. Mike wanted the big wedding and the fan fair. The overpriced centre pieces were never my idea.

**~eik~**

**EPOV**

“Coffee cake and Bailey’s. Doesn’t get much better,” Sue said as my mother placed a slice in front of her. Charlie, at her side, seemed to relax as he slipped back into his seat. I watched as his shoulders dropped, and his breathing took on a more even pace.

I turned my attention to Renee and Phil, Phil jabbering on in his simple terms and easy speech about the game he loves so much. His hand was firmly clinging to hers and a lazy grin had taken up resistance on his stubble worn face.

Phil and I had spoken at great length both last night and this evening. He was an easy man to get along with. He had a simple charm about him that had Sue and my mother smiling freely around him. My father had asked him if he and Renee had thought of having children and Phil’s answer was that he did have a child, he had Bella. To him there was no difference between biological fathers and “found fathers,” as he called them. It made me think of my future with Bella and the dreams I had. 

Conversations continued, and Dad took the coffee pot from my mother and with a stern glance, called her to sit next to him. “Relax with me,” his look had said.

She pulled out the chair across from him, and propped her pink stocking feet up on his lap. He chuckled, put down the fork, and took up a foot, rubbing small circles into the sole of her foot.

All of the men surrounding me had this serene, stupid happy look on their faces. _Funny how one fucking woman can make just being easier._

Dishes were piling up and it was making my mother a little antsy—she kept eying the kitchen, so we’d all worked to clear the table and sort out the fucking mess in the kitchen. Plates collided with silverware and cold mugs of coffee were poured down the drain, and I decided that this domestic scene could use a little music. It felt very _Big Chill._

I cued up Isabella’s new playlist and watched from the doorway of the kitchen as Bella’s hips moved back and forth in time to the song, my mother right next to her, unloading the dishwasher and handing the plates to Bella one by one.

  
  
“And baby, the way you move me it's crazy  
It's like you see right through me  
And you make it easier  
You please me and you don't even have to try.”

“Dance with me?” I took the plate from her hand and gave it to my mother, who winked and gave me a goofy as hell smile.

“In the kitchen?” she said, looking a little pink in the cheeks.

“In the kitchen,” I answered, pulling her to me and placing my hands on her hips.

_“Baby, we've come a long way, baby_  
You know, I hope and I pray that you believe me  
When I say this love will never fade away  
  
 _You are the best thing_   
_You are the best thing_   
_Ever happened to me.”_

Her arms reached up to my shoulders, and she giggled as I swayed with her. “This is my vote, by the way.”

“Your vote for what?” Bella asked as we moved with the music.

“Our first dance.”

“Mmm, maybe.” Bella spun in my arms and she never looked so fucking beautiful to me. Cheeks flushed with happiness and maybe a touch of bashfulness, smiling and enjoying our families.

“Dance with me, pretty Mama?” my father asked, stepping up to my mom’s side, pulling her to him. “Mm, I love those hips, round perfect.” He smiled down at her as she wrapped herself around him.

“Are you calling me fat? I think he’s calling me fat, Bella.” My mother aimed a glare at my father, and then widened her eyes, looking to the beautiful girl in my arms.

“No, not at all. Before Edward, I always thought you were a little…bony. I love what carrying our son did to your body. Perfect.” Dad looked down at her in adoration.

“Nice save.” I watched my mother pull up on her toes and plant a soft, sweet kiss on his cheek.

I hadn’t noticed, but Renee and Phil, as well as Charlie and Sue had joined in. I’d been watching Renee and Phil all night. She was older by more than a few years, but she seemed so much younger. They didn’t move the way I expected. They moved with a quiet grace, one fully anticipating the others move.

Listening to our parents chat all night, I’d begun to see how they all fit together. Seemingly simple conversations revealed a hell of a lot more than just who their favourite authors were, or most memorable movie moments. Where Renee was flighty and abstract in her thinking, he was grounded and solid. He spoke in facts, while she often spoke of what if’s. He favoured political dramas and historical fiction, while she got lost in romance and science fiction. They balanced each other out completely. He was the perfect counterweight to keep her here, present and tethered to the Earth. It was easy to see how they worked, why they worked.

Charlie and Sue were very nearly their polar fucking opposites. Sue took the reins, gently guiding him, but never pushing him while they danced. I figured that a man like Charlie would need to be in control of every situation, but I would be wrong. Charlie had to step up on a daily basis to keep himself, and the people of the town he loved so much, safe. He was proud of what he did and wasn’t afraid to say so when my mother had asked about his work.

Being with Sue meant giving some of that over, and Charlie admitted that at first, that was hard for him to do—allowing her to be responsible for a few hours at a time. He needed that—needed someone that could keep their feet firmly planted while he slipped out of his state issued uniform. Sue gave him that, but easily admitted that Charlie’s line of work scared her half to death.

Renee and Sue talked at some length earlier in the evening about that fear and that it was too much for Renee to handle. She couldn’t bear the responsibility, the worry, small town hate, and being a young mom. For her it was like the perfect storm. Too many elements colliding and poor Renee was drowning in it all.

What was interesting to see was Charlie’s reaction to that conversation. It was obviously something that he and Renee had spoken about in the past because I saw nothing but understanding in his eyes.

And now all the talked had veered off of Serious Ave and on to Easy Street. Laughter and banter were the loudest sounds in that kitchen.

Looking around the room, it was like a scene from some uber fluffy chick flick. Four couples dancing in the kitchen. Wine bottles littering the table top, glasses and mugs piled in the sink. It was fluffy, but damn it was comfortable.

**~eik~**

**BPOV**

“Renee, I have no idea why your daughter was so nervous about this evening. She didn’t fall once. That’s impressive,” Edward joked, helping my mother from the car.

“Ha, ha,” I said in a flat tone.

Edward escorted my mother to the front door going on about the spectacular fall I’d taken the first time we met.

_Yes, yes, it’s all very funny. The poor girl with the coordination issues._

Phil and Edward shook hands and exchanged tight nods at the door.” Have a good flight tomorrow,” Edward said.

Tomorrow my mother and Phil would be taking off, heading home to Jacksonville.

“I think I’m a little tipsy, but I also think I love your family, Edward. Your mother is fabulous and if I swung that way…”

“Phil, put her to bed,” I shouted into the house. “She’s drunk talking about hooking up with my future mother in law.” _Good fucking Christmas, the wedding ought to be entertaining to say the least._

“On it,” I heard him say as he made his way back to the door to collect my grinning mother. “Renee, baby, leave the kids alone and get your butt to bed please.” It sounded like a command, but he wore an easy smile on his face. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her from the door, winking at Edward and me.

“Not coming in?” I heard my mother slur.

“Nope, gonna stay out here and make out with my fiancée on the swing.” I shut the front door before she had the chance to comment.

“I fucking love that woman,” Edward admitted, pointing toward the door, as if he were waiting for her to pop her head out and say something wildly inappropriate.

“She loves you too.” I was sure of that. Renee being Renee would have said so if she hadn’t liked him. I remember that she wasn’t too thrilled with Mike at first. She’d said he was “nice enough” which was likely code for “I think you can do better” but she never said it.

Edward pulled me to the swing, and I sat across his lap. The night air was more than a little crisp and the breeze, gentle as it was, caused a shiver to run through me. We sat there, quiet, staring up at the star filled sky for some time before either one of us spoke. It felt good to be quiet with him, to be steady and present with him. We rocked and the swing creaked. I felt his warm breath cascade over my face and neck.

“So are we gonna make out? ‘Cause I was kind of looking forward to that part.”

I chuckled, reached up with one hand, and grabbed a fistful of hair, pulling his face to mine.

“Fuck yes,” he said with a smirk a mile wide.

Warmth spread around me and through me as we kissed. He pulled me closer and skimmed his hand up leg to my knee. It stayed there anchored and pulsing with heat. Other parts of me were also pulsing. And there was heat. Lots of heat. I moved to straddle him and the swing pushed back, throwing me off balance.

I gasped and braced myself for the fall. But nothing happened. Strong hands cupped my hips, steadying me.  I thanked the moon above for the boy’s swift reflexes.

“I almost broke my ass. You saved me.”

“Yes, I did,” he said, winking at me. “I think I’d give my left nut to see you bouncing above me right now, but I kind of think that might be hazardous to your health.”

“Swing sex bad?” I pouted.

“Swing sex _dangerous_ ,” Edward corrected. “It’s late, kitten, and you have to get up in the morning to drive them to the airport. You need sleep.”

_I need dick even more._

_Oh my shit, Sally! Where in the name of the devil did_ that _come from? PMS turning you into a naughty perv again? Hmm?_ I shook my head in hopes of re-routing my thoughts.

He kissed my mouth softly, once, twice and then lifted me off him. “Call me when you get back. We’ll veg out with movies for the rest of the day. Sound good?”

“Popcorn involved?”

“Of course,” he whispered and pulled me into his arms once more before heading down the front steps. I watched as the Volvo backed out of the driveway and pull onto the dark road. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End Notes  
> The song mentioned in this chapter is You Are the Best Thing by Ray Lamontagne. Love him, love that song. The movie referenced was The Big Chill, and if you caught that reference, you’re likely either a movie fiend or at least 30 years, either way, kudos!  
> So what would your vote be for their wedding song? Next up is Alice’s bachelorette party. Are you excited? I am.


	34. On The Eve Of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *All of it belongs to SM, except the plot to this little ditty, that’s all me.*
> 
> I owe some sloppy kisses to a few frequent flyers: Gingerhat, Melee03, RobandKrisChick, RandyWriter, Longing to write, DodgerMcClure, momma2fan, and bkhchica. Thanks for hitting that review button.
> 
> My one woman dusting and cleaning team: Maxipoo1024, that bitch is better than Windex. Gets all my smudges out and leaves it squeaky. She’s also my sounding board and I loves her for it.
> 
> Warning: NSFW, new panties maybe required. Lemons dead ahead!

**Chapter 33**

**~eik~**

_**On the Eve Of** _

 

**BPOV**

My dream slowly started to slip and crumble as I felt the soft cotton of my underwear being tugged past my hips. I woke to my panties snagging at my knees. A slightly frustrated sigh echoed through my thoughts  and then the cotton continued it course when I shifted my legs. Warm fingers and the slip and slide of fabric dancing a course to my ankles made me shiver.

“Fuck you’re beautiful,” Edward mumbled somewhere above me. He knew I was awake, though I refused to open my eyes.

Sleep warm hands parted my thighs, and a lazy grin broke across my face. Rough fingertips tripped and trailed up each leg, stopping at my hipbone. I whispered in a groggy voice, “Good morning,” and wet lips touched my inner thighs. Soft kisses between my legs woke my insides, and a low rumble issued from somewhere inside my chest.

“Good morning, kitten.”

I kept my eyes closed and enjoyed the soft velvet of his tongue sliding at a lazy pace, like he was intent on doing nothing but this all day. _I won’t complain_.

His tongue moved deeper and my groans became more pronounced. My fingers combed through his hair. “Your taste is different,” he said before sucking my clit into his mouth.

“Huh?” I managed to breathe out, bucking my hips, needing a little more friction.

“Not bad, _never_ bad. You always taste so… _fucking good_ , love.” He went right back to drawing out long moans and airy pants.

Long minutes went by and my insides worked into a tight ball. I wanted to come, needed to. The pressure in my lower belly was almost more than I could stand.  My hips raised and my body shoved against him. Suddenly, his mouth was gone and the mattress creaked with the shift of his weight.

Edward stretched out next to me and let his fingers stroke the sensitive skin he’d just been devouring.  “You’re all sorts of strung up, baby. Relax and you’ll come.” He kissed my mouth softly, and I could taste a little of myself there.

I grabbed his hand, and with my fingers, I pushed his inside me. “Don’t stop,” I begged, my hips leaving the bed beneath me.

“Easy, love.” He chuckled and shifted in bed again. One hand was low on my belly, the other pushing fingers into my wet core. The pressure he had holding me down felt amazing and my body started to lose control. His smile widened and my grip on the sheets turned deadly.

“Holy shit!” I growled, rolling my hips.

The hand holding me in place moved slightly lower and a thumb was added to the mix, rubbing and coaxing, and I was flying so high I thought I’d never come down. My body started to quiver and I knew I was close. I tried to tell him, tried to guide him, but my words were all closed up in my throat. Coherent speech wasn’t a possibility at the moment.

Suddenly, I felt a tight burning and then a warm rush. My body became an absolute live wire and so sensitive, I begged him to stop. I’d never come that hard in my life and the sensation was something I wasn’t all too familiar with.

“Holy Christ, that was fucking spectacular,” Edward said, pulling his hand away from me. “You’ve never done that before.”

“Never done what—” I stopped realizing what he meant. I was wet. Like soggy wet. I sat up and looked down. _The sheets were surely in need of a change now._ “I…”

“What did that feel like?” he asked, obviously impressed by my extreme orgasm. I, on the other hand, was all red faced and it wasn’t just sex flushed. I was a little embarrassed.

“Edward,” I groaned and covered my face.

“No, no, no. Please don’t hide. So the sheets need to be changed, big fucking deal. That was amazing to watch. You looked so damned hot riding my hand like that. Completely uninhibited. Tell me what it felt like.”

I curled into his body, both of us on our sides, spooning. I took a deep breath, both to calm my wildly beating heart and to shake off the foolish discomfort. “Different. Not like when I come normally. It was…” I struggled to find the words. “Tighter…and it burned for a second, and then there was…umm, like a warm gush. But sweet mother of sunshine that felt so fucking amazing.”

 

**~eik~**

I stuffed my makeup into the suitcase, zipped it, and stood it beside the bed.

“Tooth brush, hair, and beauty shit?” Edward shouted from the bathroom.

“Check.”

 “You know it’s only three days, right?” He eyed the bag as he stood in the doorway of the bedroom and gave his head a shake.

“Zip it, boy.” I crossed the room and kissed his chin. “Now lug, please and thank you,” I said all candy sweet as I walked past him. I heard him chuckle.

I checked my purse to make sure my phone was fully charged and noticed a text from Rose.

**Text me with your room number when you check in. I’ll try to get on the same floor. ~Rosie**

I tapped out a quick response and tucked both the phone and its charger into my purse. I went over the checklist I’d written up the evening before and made sure I had everything accounted for. Satisfied, I nodded to myself.

“Ready?” he asked, watching me shove the last of a piece of toast in my mouth.

We packed up Edward’s car and headed for Seattle. The October sky was bright and the air was that cool, crisp kind of air that smelled of fall. The forest around us wiped by in dark reds, burnt yellows, and smoldering oranges. It was beautiful and by and far my favourite time of year. Houses we passed were decorated to haunt and scare with jack-o-lanterns, bloody ghouls, and dressed in black witches. Tomorrow was Halloween.

Rose and Emmett were driving down later in the afternoon because he had an important meeting that couldn’t be moved, so we agreed to meet for dinner that evening, and then the pre-wedding crazy would begin. Jasper swore hookers and coke was not on the to-do list for the evening, but I ruled out little when you threw Emmett into the mix.

_“Just don’t show up with a tattoo on your face or a monkey in tow, got me?”_ Rose had warned him.  

My evening would be spent playing drinking games, doing toe nails, and carving pumpkins.  Though I’d made fun of Alice for her silly little request, truth be told, I was looking forward to it.

Her assistant, Molly, would be joining us. She too was standing up in the wedding, though this would be the first time meeting her. Molly lived in Los Angeles and flying down to Seattle for a dress fitting was just plain dumb, so Alice had the dress shipped to her, and Molly took care of it on her end. From the pictures I’d seen, Molly was a beautiful girl. Alice described her as being a little taller than me with dark red hair, pale, freckled skin, and a wonderfully curvy figure.

**~eik~**

“Baby?” Edward’s voice pulled me out of I don’t know where, but it was deep.

I pushed the palms of my hands into my face, rubbing my eyes. “Musta fallen asleep,” I mumbled into my hands.

Beside me, Edward chuckled. “You were moaning. Like, _moaning._ ”

Blindly, I smacked his chest. “And you _woke_ me up? Gee thanks! My hero. Way to save me from my randy subconscious.” My words were a little more than cheeky and my face a little on the evil kitten side, but I was honestly a little peeved that he pulled me from that dream. I couldn’t remember it, but my body knew damn well what it was about.

Again, he laughed at me, placing a hand on my thigh. “Little horny?” he asked, turning his eyes from the road for a second.

“Eyes on the road, Cullen,” I barked, squeezing my thighs together. Okay, so maybe I was…a little.

“Even after that world class orgasm this morning? Wow, _you’re insatiable_.” His voice was absolutely teeming with come-hither.

I didn’t say a word. I just blushed a furious shade of red and looked out the window at the passing traffic.

“Wanna pull over?”

“No!” I shouted, looking at him as if he’d lost his sweet mind.

“Liar,” he whispered with a cocky smile on his face. “Bet you a bag of Jelly Belly Dips that’s _exactly_ what you want. I bet the thought is running through your head like an out of control steam engine right about now.”

He wouldn’t be wrong. I could picture it with perfect clarity and brilliant colour: my legs over his shoulders and Edward forcing hot breaths and loud moans from me; my head not so gently rocking into the car door; the sound of the traffic whizzing past us on the busy interstate. 

“Yeah, well maybe you started something this morning. Your fault,” I said in a pouty voice.

“Then maybe I need to finish it.” His voice had dropped low and kind of made me burn a little.

“You’re _not_ pulling over on the _fucking highway_.” As sweet and sinful as that thought was, I was _not_ prepared to explain to the state police why the Volvo was rocking on the side of the road at eleven in the morning.

“So no roadside action?”

“No.”

“Well you’re just a fun killer,” he said, switching lanes to move around a very slow moving minivan.  “Never have I ever…”

“I knew that would come back to bite me in the ass,” I groaned.

“Pick?”

“Huh? Pick what, you lost me.” I scrunched my face up in confusion.

“Where would you choose? You know, public sexin’.”

I bit my lip and shook my head.

“Tell me, Isabella Marie,” he begged in a smooth and sexy voice.

“Definitely the movies,” I admitted. “Um, stairwell in a public building.”

“Stairwell? Not the elevator?”

“Nope, been done. Besides the acoustics in a stairwell, all those moans. Hot.”

“Right. Anywhere else?” he asked, his hand stroking my thigh.

I sat for moment and flipped through all my Edward induced fantasies. All them hot and kind of unholy, but the one that got me all bothered and blood boiling was one that I’d never voiced. I rarely allowed myself to indulge in the thought because it embarrassed me that I even found it erotic. My face heated just thinking about it, and I covered it with my hands.

“Oh no, sweet girl, you’re not allowed to hide your face from me. What is it? Is it super dirty?” His voice was playful and his fingers slipped between my hands and pried them away from my plum coloured face.

“Just say it, Isabella. But know that if it involves Em or Jazz you might have some explaining to do, darling.”

I giggled nervously and shook my head, allowing my hair to fall forward, hiding my face just a little. “It’s not really in public at all…really.”

“Okay…”

I took a deep breath and spoke. “Someone watching,” I mumbled.

“Like watching us make love?”

“Yes,” I whispered, glancing out the window and avoiding the look I knew was there. I’d never felt safe enough to say that out loud before.

“Man or a woman?” He didn’t sound disgusted; he sounded curious, which surprised me.

“Woman.”

“And she just watches?”

“Yes. Get off that track, the trains not pulling into _that_ station, buddy.”  I pointed a finger at him, his smirk firmly set in place and his eyes a little too fucking bright. “No three-way action. Sorry, Cullen.”

“Don’t look at me like that, woman! Every heterosexual male _on the planet_ has dreamed of having two women. Oh, oh, or, even better…” He sounded way too excited, but his bubbly school girl tone made me smile. “You getting it on with another woman while _I_ watch. Yup, that’s totally doable and _so unbelievably hot_.”

“Edward Anthony Cullen, you’re a perv and I love you, but I’m not having sex with another woman. Sorry.” I pat his arm sympathetically.

“Again, I say fun killer.”

“Yeah, yeah, just drive.”

“I think you should tell me about this hot little non-three-way that’s got you all lit up like a jack-o-lantern,” Edward coaxed.

“Will you shut your mouth and never mention it again if I do?”

“I promise nothing,” he said with a wicked, cocky grin.

“It’s just a naughty little daydream. But whatever.” I shrugged my shoulders and went for it. “It’s pretty damn basic. We get naked knowing full well she’s watching. She’s usually sitting in a chair across from us. The scenery changes all the time. Sometimes it’s in your loft and she’s above us, watching from your room. The _where_ changes all the time, but the rest is pretty static.”

He uh-huh’ed and nodded as he drove us toward the Emerald City. “So it’s just the thrill of having someone watch you? Watch us both unravel like that?”

“Kind of. It’s more than just that though.” I wasn’t sure how to best explain it, so I went into full on ramble mode. “There’s like this innate trust that just _has_ to be present, you know?  And this _confidence_ …to let someone see you like that. Not just naked, but…truly naked. Bared.”

“But I see you like that all the time,” Edward said in a curious tone. His eyes moving between the road and the mirrors.

“Yes you do. But you love me. For someone else to witness that trust between us, to see what it took for me to be able to do that…” I felt like I wasn’t making any sense. “That she sees that, senses it, and more than that, _enjoys the hell out of it_ …that’s the turn on.”

I really didn’t know how else to describe how that person had no amount of power in my little fantasy, that they were there merely as a witness to my love for Edward, to my confidence as a woman and as a lover.

“So this mystery woman, she’s um…she’s masturbating?” Edward looked from the road, one eye brow raised in question.

“Not always, but I always know she’s enjoying the show so to speak.”

“Huh,” Edward said, looking from me to the road and back again.

“I know, I’m a freak.” I felt heat touch my face again.

“No, I didn’t and _wouldn’t_ say that. My brain has had you covered in Cool Whip; you’re no freak, Isabella. I’m just surprised, kitten. It’s hot.” He turned his face to me and winked. I had nothing but a sheepish smile for him.

“When I dreamed of this before…when I was with Mike, the man in the fantasy had no face. It wasn’t Mike. Nothing about him smacked of Michael _at all_ and that always made feel a little guilty.”

“And now?” he asked,

“It’s always _you_.”

We drove for the next forty minutes lost in our own thoughts and revelations, sometimes discussing trivial things like the runaway horror movie that scared the Holy Hanna out of millions over the past two weeks. I think we were in the hotel room for about two minutes before he was pulling clothes off me and bending me over the chair. It was fast and hard and full of grunts and grinding and just what I needed.

**~eik~**

“Molly, this is Bella and her Edward,” Alice introduced us, hugging each of us as we approached the table. She looked completely calm and confident.

“Nice to meet you both, Ali’s told me so much about all of you.” Molly dropped back to her seat, but kept her eyes on us both. 

Dinner buzzed by with smooth white wine and fast talk of the approaching nuptials, and still Alice remained calm.

The evening before my first wedding I was cucumber cool, until I was alone. Then I got the jitters.  I suspected that this _might_ be the case with Alice.

Alice and Jasper had checked into adjoining suites four floors above us, and Rose and Emmett managed to snag a room just down the hall from Edward and I. Molly, we learned was two floors below us. Tomorrow, guests would be arriving. Some staying the weekend, others, like my father and Sue were just driving down for the wedding and back again.

“So shall we stick a fork in it?” Molly said, tipping the last of her wine into her mouth.

“Let’s get forked!” Emmett hollered.

**~eik~**

**EMPOV**

The cab deposited us on the wet pavement out front of _The Ballroom_ , a night club that Jasper wanted to hit tonight. I was all for a strip club but I was quickly vetoed by Prim and Proper over there. _Fuckers_.

We stood in line, shifting at a decent pace toward the main entrance. Edward, being a fidgety fucker this evening, flicked the button holding his jacket closed, pulled out his phone and checked for messages.  The two girls in front of us that had turned to stare at us, nearly fucking fainted when he shot them a simple glance. Lavern and Shirley obviously hadn’t seen a pack of hot like us before. They were practically panting, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

_This is the shit I don’t tell my wife about. She’d snap Lavern’s skinny neck for eyeing me like that.  And I’m pretty sure Bella would ride Eddie boy right here on the sidewalk if it meant keeping Shirley’s wondering eyes off his junk._

“So are you nervous, dude?” I asked Jasper as we shuffled closer to the entrance of the club.

He ran his hand through his hair and then shoved it in his pocket. “Nope.”

Liar.

“I call bull,” Edward said, snickering as he slipped his phone back into pocket, ignoring the giggling girls ahead of us.

“I was nearly shitting myself the night before I married Rosie.”

“Call it bullshit, call me a liar, but I’m not nervous. She already said yes.” Jasper’s voice was confident as hell.

The crowd moved forward again and within twenty minutes we were in. The place was crowded and bodies swayed in every which direction. The three of us headed straight for the bar.

“To love, marriage, and three of the sexiest women on the fucking planet,” Edward said, holding his shot up.

“Cheers!” we shouted over the din.

Three shots later and we were heading for the pool tables. “I’ll break,” I offered.

“Yeah, you do that,” Jazz said with a cocky look on his booze flushed face.

“Fuck you! My breaks are brilliant!”

“Edward, he’s pouting already,” Jazz said, waving a hand at me.

“I’m not pouting. I’m just saying.” I tried to keep my voice as squeak free as possible.

“Break, Emmy.” Edward waved a shot girl over and ordered a round of beer.

“So whatdaya think the girls are doing?” I asked as I lined up my shot.

“Getting drunk and painting their toes,” Edward answered. He’d had a rather satisfied look on his face when he came to dinner. Wonder what went down in the Cullen room.

“Bella was all sex glowy when you guys came to dinner.” I pulled back then rocked the cue forward. The fucking balls barely moved. _Mutiny!_

“You’re not allowed to break anymore,” Edward said, pointing his pool cue at me.

“Eat a dick!”

“Look, he’s pouting again,” Jazz said with a chuckle. “Oh shit. Sharks are circling. Four o’clock.”

I looked over my shoulder, and sure enough Lavern and fucking Shirley were waddling on over.

 

**~eik~**

**RPOV**

“No date for the wedding, Molly?” I asked as we broke out the chips and Bella propped her foot in my lap.

Molly pushed her hair back and pulled it up into a high pony tail. “Nope. Bitch decided I was more trouble than I was worth. Translation: She doesn’t like the fact that I’m perfectly happy being a size twelve.”

“She dumped you because of your waist line?” Bella said, her voice sounding a little peeved.

“Yup. She thought she could change me. Make me work out two hours a day and eat nothing but rabbit food. I don’t operate that way. You get what you see and if you can’t handle that, fuck you and your socks.”

I laughed at the matter of fact way she said it and shook my head, grateful Emmett never tried to bend me into something I wasn’t meant to be.

“Well she’s an idiot. You’re gorgeous,” Bella stated.

“So what colour do you want?” I asked, looking at Bella’s wiggling toes on my lap.

“The dark plum one, right there.”

Toe nails were done, sex talk was well under way, and I was hoping to hell that Alice was joking about the pumpkins, but no. I wasn’t that kind of lucky. She rolled out of the bedroom with a soccer ball sized pumpkin. Of course, there was one for each of us.

“Mary Alice, are you kidding me,” I whined.

“I told you, Rose,” Bella said with a big damn grin on her face.

_What was she so perky about anyway?_ We were about to be elbow deep in pumpkin guts and that wasn’t something worth showing my pearly whites over. Obnoxious little imp. 

“Stop scowling, Rose, and go get the carving kits,” Alice ordered with her hands on hips, shooting some sort of death glare.

“You’re not intimidating,” I said as I slipped past her to the bedroom where she was stashing all the pumpkin paraphernalia.

I heard Bella and Molly laughing behind me.

Pumpkins were passed out, and bowls, knives, and news paper were laid out in front of us. Alice eagerly sliced into the top of her orange friend’s head. She cut out a circle and then jimmied off the top.

“Oh god, that _smells_ ,” Bella moaned, covering her nose.

“It _smells_ like pumpkin,” Alice said, shooting her a do-not-fuck-with-me look. 

“Is it rotten? Because it smells nasty.” Bella glared at the gourd, one lip turned up in disgust.

Alice stuck her face right in there and declared the pumpkin fresh.

Molly buried her knife hers next, opening it and scooping out the guts with her bare hands.

“I’m gonna be sick,” Bella said, bolting to bathroom.

“She have an issue with pumpkin innards?” Molly asked.

“Never has before,” I said, standing to follow her. 

**~eik~**

**EPOV**

“Maybe we should just hang signs on us that say, ‘My dick is spoken for’,” Em said, watching the latest group of predators paddle back the way they came, looking rather disappointed.

The two brunettes Em dubbed Lavern and Shirley were only the first in what felt like a never ending fucking parade of women looking to sink their hooks into anyone of us. Our pool game was interrupted more times than I could count.

“Wouldn’t have stopped the last two. Those were working girls, for sure,” Jazz pointed out. “She was staring at you like she was trying to figure out how much she’d make off a blow-job in the bathroom.” He looked at me and his eyes rolled.

We decided to abandon the pool table and found a booth to hunker down in. Emmett was more than a little drunk, so he’d switched to water, and Jazz was taking it easy because he was “firmly warned” that if he showed up at the altar tomorrow reeking of J.D. Alice would use his sulk as a goblet.  

“Your parents flying in the morning, right?” I asked Jasper.

“Yeah, first thing. Their flight arrives at 9:24AM. I’ve got a car picking them up, so no worries.” Jasper was smart like that. He knew damn well that no one would be in shape to pick up the Whitlocks at nine in the morning. For that, I thanked him,

“Hey, has Rose or Alice ever motioned anything like…um,” I stumbled over my words, a little drunk and little curious “…letting someone watch?” I took a long pull on my beer and placed it on the table in front of me.

“Well shut the front door! Bella Bunny’s asking to make your evening activities a spectator sport?” Emmett said, none too couth.

“No, not really. We were talking about the whole public sex thing on the way here and, yeah.”

“I’ll watch,” Emmett said, his brows wriggling up and down, a goofy grin stretched across his half drunken face.

“Shut your face,” I ordered, pointing a finger at him.

**~eik~**

**BPOV**

The smell of pumpkin permeated the room and it was too much. My mouth watered in that bad way it often does just before you cookies came marching back up your throat, and I made a run for the bathroom.

Dry heaves. That’s it. No disgusting gastrological show down between me and the toilet. Just dry heaves. Awesome.

“You all right?” Rose asked, closing the bathroom door behind her.

“Yeah, I’m good. I don’t know where that came from.”

“Bella how have you been feeling lately?”

I looked at her feeling a little confused. “Fine. Why?”

“When was your last period?”

For a split second my heart jumped into my throat and raced and bounded like a pinball, and then I remembered. PCOS. Not possible. “I don’t know, Rose.” If I sounded a little agitated it was because I fucking felt a little agitated.

“Maybe I should run down to that store across the street. Just to be sure.”

“Drop it, Rosalie. You can’t say shit like this to me. Remember the hormone injections, the tests, and the _five fucking failed_ IUI’s? I have Polycystic ovaries, Rose. That means sometimes my periods are late. That means sometimes I skip a period or two. That means I can’t get pregnant!” I snapped.

“No, it means it’s _close_ to impossible. Not impossible, asshole,” she spat and I recoiled.

Her words struck me like a wrecking ball. _Not impossible._

“Let me go get a test, Bells,” she plead, her hand stroking my arm.

“No. I’ll do it when it’s just me and Edward. If it’s negative, he’s the only one I want to fall to pieces around. If it’s positive, he’s the only one I need.”

She nodded her head in agreement.

“Rose, I’ve been drinking all night.” Worry suddenly hit me and my stomach rolled again.

“So stop,” she said, not showing an ounce of panic. We marched back out to the living room area with our arms linked.

“Are you okay?” Molly asked, looking all kinds of concerned. “I threw out all the pumpkins. Alice doesn’t like me anymore.”

I sat down next to Molly and put my head on her shoulder. “Well to hell with, Alice.” I grinned and shoved a handful of cheesies in my mouth.

As the evening went on, Rose became a little more tipsy and whole lotta open. She recounted things she’d done with Emmett with more detail than I ever wanted to know. The bottle was passed around and it didn’t seem to escape Alice’s watchful eyes every time I passed it to Molly without taking so much as a whiff of it.

She was on to me, and I wasn’t gonna lie, the thought that Rose planted stuck. I knew the odds were stacked so very high against me, but that tiny _what if_ kept me from diving head long into the peach schnapps.

“Your fiancée is hot,” Molly announced, looking at me with slightly glazed eyes.

“I know it. And thank you,” I said, trying to hold her hand steady as I painted a coat of silver on her nails. She was a hand talker so it wasn’t easy.

“So very much my type,” she mumbled.

“Ah, Molly, correct me if I’m wrong, but um, aren’t you a—” Rose began.

“Lesbian?” she sang. “Sometimes.” She shrugged and waved her hand. The one I was painting. Silver nail polished slipped across the back of her hand and she looked down on it, regarding it the way one might an odd piece of art work they weren’t sure how to categorize.

“Bi?” I asked.

“Bingo!” She bopped my nose with the tip of her finger.

My cell phone chimed and Rose grabbed for it. “It’s Eddie, he wants to know how drunk you are?” she said, squinting at the screen.

“Well you can go right ahead and tell him that I’m not, but I’m willing to bet he is.” I winked at Rose. Watching her try to tap out a message was nothing short of fucking hilarious.

“And… send,” she said, pushing on the screen and then letting the phone drop to her lap. A giant grin passed over her lips and she held up her hand, counting down with her fingers. She got to one and my phone rang.

“What did you say?” I glared at Rose hoping she mentioned nothing about the would have been jack-o-lantern incident.

“You want me to answer?” Rose said, looking at the glowing phone in her lap.

“No, toss it here, shit head.”

Alice laughed and Molly giggled like a loon next to me. The botched nail job forgotten.

“And exactly what part of you is Molly touching?” Edward slurred into the phone.

I smiled and shook my head. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Yes, yes I think I would. That would be…shut up, Emmett! That would be why I called. If you’re making out with another chick, I want details, kitten. Very detailed details.”

“Wow, you’re plastered,” I said with a snort.

“Yes, and I want full closed caption kind of play by play, woman. Do not hold out on me.”

_Christ, he‘s cute when he’s drunk._ _I wanna to suck the beer taste right off his tongue._

“Well when you sent that text, she was licking my ear,” I said in a slow, purring voice. I winked at the girls and smiled when they giggled.

“Can she go back to that… the ear? And maybe add a little tit,” Edward asked, his voice was uneven and booze heavy, but I heard the lust creeping in.

“You want Molly to fondle me?” I asked, mocking shock. “I can’t believe you’d let another person anywhere near—”

“Molly’s an acception…” he slurred.

“ _Exception_ ,” I enunciated.

“That’s what I said. She’s an _exception_ because she’s hot, and she’s a she.”

“Right,” I said, nodding and smiling at his antics. _I so very much love this man, even though he is trying to pimp me out to the wedding party._ “I’ll see you in morning, you lush.” I whispered an I love you and then hung up.

“So the men are looped?” Alice asked.

“I don’t know about Jazz and Emmett, but my boy is three sheets to the wind.” I shook my head and looked down at the phone. A text from Edward.

**U should ask Molly to watch. ~Edwardd.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think of Molly? Love her? Hate her? Wanna take her home for the night? 
> 
> I haven’t dropped a rec in a while now, so here you go Glass House by Livie79. It’s up on FFn. If you can handle heartfail and tons of sad faced moments, then you should read it and send her a little love too. 
> 
> I’m sure some of you have guessed that this fic is winding down. I’m not sure how many more chapters, but not many. The next few (that are written) have been very difficult and I’m excited to get them out to you. Catch ya next chapter, Jen.


	35. The Blue Dress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *Don’t know why I still bother to write a disclaimer. You all know I don’t own it.*
> 
> Seriously amused by some of the comments ya’ll have been leaving. Anyway if you want to see what Molly looks like go to JanuarysFiction dot wordpress dot com I’ll introduce you to her.   
> Also I realize I may lose a reader or two with this chapter, but please, please keep in mind that it’s not about what you think it is. Dig deeper and read between the lines. Okay. Okay.

**_Chapter 34_ **

**~eik~**

**The Blue Dress**

**BPOV**

Everything was perfectly Alice and absolutely beautiful. White and shades of blue touched every surface. From the centre pieces to the delicate paste flowers on the cake, it was all perfect.

Even my father’s impromptu part was utterly perfect. When he heard that Alice had planned to walk the aisle unescorted, he marched into her room and announced, “I didn’t shine these shoes for nothing, kiddo. Grab your flowers and let’s do this.”

I watched each smile and meaningful look pass between Jasper and Alice. I watched from my spot at the head table as Jasper’s index finger traced the elegant line of her collar bone, and I saw the soft pink blush that took over her cheeks when he leaned into her and whispered something. I watched them dance so close and so free it brought tears to my eyes.

“You see that bubble too, don’t you?” Edward said as he wiped tiny tears from my face.

“The one that’s _exactly_ Jasper and Alice sized? Yeah, I see it.”

“Dance with me, beautiful girl,” Edward asked, standing and offering me his hand.

‘ _A love-struck Romeo sings the streets a serenade_ __  
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made.  
Finds a streetlight, steps out of the shade  
Says something like, "You and me babe, how about it?"  
  
Juliet says, "Hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"’

We curled into each other and began dancing among our friends.  Laughter and a happy buzz could be heard just below the music. I found myself drawn to conversations with Jasper’s Texas clan. Something about the soft, lazy drawl of their voices was both amusing and comforting. It was easy to understand how Alice got so lost in Jasper.

Sue and my father flitted around the dance floor while Edward and Rose shimmied around looking more like Fred and Ginger than any two people had a right to. I could dance, but not like Rosalie. Rose was all grace, even in those heels.

I’d chucked my heels and had been treading on bare feet since the first dance.

Esme was braver, or maybe she was just too drunk to care. She still had heels on and navigating seemed to be a bit of a problem for her. She slipped and reached out for Carlisle, giggling when she righted herself, managing to remain standing. I watched her tip her glass, place it on the table, and then push her kind of sort of willing husband out onto the dance floor when a familiar tune kicked up.

Emmett ‘danced’ over to me, doing something that I was sure was supposed to be the YMCA but missed the mark. By a lot. “Wanna shake it, Bella Bear?”

How could I say no to that? I stood and let Emmett tow me to the dance floor where we were met by Rose, Alice, Edward, Jazz, and Molly. We danced and Emmett flopped like a fish out of water. We smiled and laughed at each other. And I made a silent promise to myself to never let these people go. To love them forever.

**~eik~**

**EPOV**

I was scheming and I knew it. I also knew that if she wasn’t up for it, I was likely to be punched in the mouth. Possibly twice.

After hearing Bella’s fantasy, I couldn’t shake it from my head. I wanted to give her that and I saw an opportunity in Molly. I watched the looks she gave Bella. I knew she had a thing for her. I also knew she was a very respectful person and would never make a move on her.

“A dance, miss Molly?” I asked, reaching out to take her hand.

“You got it, hot stuff.” She jumped up quickly.

I winked at Bella and felt her watch me walk away with Molly toward the dance floor. I wanted to come right out and say it, but it was one of those situations that required finesse, damn it.

The soft voice of Mazzy Star filtered through the speakers, and I struggled to find my in.

“Your girl is beautiful,” Molly said, looking past me to Bella, who was now standing at the bar.

I was oh so grateful for the opening Molly had just given me. I watched Molly’s face as she watched my beautiful Bella and saw a spark of respect in her gaze as I gently guided her around the dance floor.

“I know,” I said, feeling really fucking lame.

“She’s all willowy. All leg, and those big brown eyes…” She shook her head. “Figures.”

“What figures?” I asked, finding her soft green eyes.

She looked away, like doing so made her admission easier. “She’s taken. And straight. Damn shame.”

I laughed. Bella never saw it, never saw the way other people looked at her. But Molly saw it, I saw it. “Bet if you told her the guy behind the bar was eye fucking her she’d deny it.”

“Without skipping a beat,” I agreed.

I took a deep breath and told myself to suck it the fuck up. This was something Bella wanted. Needed.  And if I was honest, the idea turned me on more than a little, to see someone else recognize the power Isabella wields was kind of hot.  If I ended up with a fat lip so be it. But if I was reading Molly right…

“Can I ask you something?” I said, and even I could hear the nervousness trickling through my voice.

“Fire away,” she said as I spun her to the beat of the music.

“Have you ever looked at yourself and thought you weren’t good enough for someone?  That you were…defective?”

Her eyes lifted to mine and she quirked her head to the side. “No…and if this is one of those lesbianism is wrong rants—”

“No, no. Not at all, Molly.” I felt all sorts of terrible for the misunderstanding and decided to let it all spill out. “You know Bella is divorced, right?” She nodded her head slowly and I continued. “Mike hurt her, emotionally. Changed her. She started second guessing her femininity, believing she wasn’t enough for him. When she couldn’t get pregnant, she thought she was defective, not a whole woman. She built walls and hid her sexuality in the shadows.”

I stopped and looked back to the table where Bella sat and then to Molly, whose face was a smooth mask of understanding.

“When we first got together she had trouble letting go, allowing herself to feel pleasure had almost become fucking foreign to her. Its taken a lot of trust to pull her from those shadows and show her that she can own her body and sexuality again.” I swallowed hard knowing the punch line was just ahead.  The song had long since changed, but we kept right on dancing.

“Bella kind of has this…uh, she wants. Fuck!” I stammered through my words.

“Spit it out, dude, the songs almost over,” she teased, winking at me.

I looked over at Bella, sitting down, sipping from a bottle of water. _She looks so hot in that dress. The cleavage is killing me_. _Say it, Cullen_. “There’s very little I wouldn’t do for her,” I explained and that truth made me brave. I swear my balls doubled in size as I spoke. “She told me about this hot little fantasy she has…she wants someone to watch us having sex.”

“Is this a proposition?”

“Yes,” I confirmed in a pretty damned steady voice. Me and my balls were kind of proud.

“What makes you think I’d be into this?”

“You haven’t decked me yet.” My answer was a little cheeky, but it was true enough. “And it gives you a little of what you want. Her.”

“Her…and you,” she admitted, her cheeks pinking.  “It’s a hard thing to do, you know? To strip bare in front of someone that hasn’t whispered ‘I love you,’ and let them see you raw and open like that. You’d give her the moon if she asked, wouldn’t you?”

“Absolutely.”

She nodded and pat my bicep.

 “Is that a yes?”

She looked up at me, smiled shyly, bit her lip, and nodded once. I slipped my room card into her hand, took her freckled hand, kissed it, and let it drop as I stalked toward the goddess on the other side of the room.

I slipped into the seat next to Isabella and pulled her chair towards me. She giggled and leaned into kiss my cheek. “It’s almost one in the morning and you’ve been go, go, go with Alice since seven this morning. Bet you’re ready to get out of that dress?”

“I am, and I never want to see those heels again. Devil’s shoes, I’m sure of it.”

“Let’s go say good night,” I said, gesturing to the room. Most of the guests began to drop off about an hour ago, but Alice and Jazz were still going and so was Emmett, who was now far beyond snookered. Rose had already told him he’d be sleeping where he fell and ‘ _no fucking way_ ’ was she ‘ _dragging his drunken corpse to their room,_ ’ —not in those heels.

Goodnights, thank yous, and plans for brunch were passed around and around until I finally grew impatient. While Bella and Alice went on about the speeches, I tripped through fantasy-land. Eyes watching and bare skin everywhere, my cock twitched in anticipation. I forced myself to think about kittens being boiled and grandma’s pantyhose while we made our way to the bank of elevators.

Bella’s soft hand gave mine a quick squeeze, as if she could feel my need growing. The doors opened, and I all but shoved her into the car. Thank god it was empty, because the moan that pushed through my lips as I backed her against the wall and kissed the crap out of her would not have been polite in public. Nor was my urge to wrap her legs around me and fuck her where she stood.

The elevator chimed and the doors slid open, and it did little to pull me from my lusty intentions.

“Our floor,” Bella half moaned into my mouth and pushed against my chest to get me moving.

She walked with purpose down the hall, and I slowly followed, captured by the sway of her hips and shape of her small but round ass.  My eyes roamed her bare feet and legs, traced the curve of her body, and danced across her bare shoulders, only to make the circuit all over again. I knew she could feel them on her when she looked over her shoulder and gave me a fucking heartbreaking, devil in the blue dress grin.

She stopped at our door and scooped the card from her tiny clutch. Looking at me once more, she slid the card in and waited for the lock to disengage. As soon as the door was open, my hands were on her hips, pushing her further into the room. I wondered, for a quick second, where Molly was and how long it would take Bella to see her and put the pieces together.

“Jesus, was that last drink infused with Ecstasy?” she murmured as my lips slipped and slithered over her collarbone. There was a faint taste of sweat on her skin, mixing with perfume and body lotion.

“The corset, can you?” she asked, slowly turning and pulling her hair up. She gasped, and I knew she’d found Molly. I looked up at the redhead sitting across the room in a leather chair. Her face was just a little flushed.

“Molly, what are—”

I kissed her neck and it stopped her words. She let her hair fall back into place and turned to look at me again.

_Brace yourself, Cullen, this might be when she pops you in the jaw._

**_~eik~_ **

**MollyPOV**

“If you want her to leave…” Edward said in a soft voice, caressing Bella’s bare arms.

“No, no…” I watched her inhale. Her shoulders rose and then very slowly fell into a neutral position. She shook her head and turned around, pulling her hair up again so he could work at the strings holding the dress closed.

Her brown eyes watched me, examined me, watching my reactions.  Her face was blushed over in a warm pink. Her breath pulled in slow shallow heaves and for a quick moment her eyes slipped shut. Her hands released the loose fists she’d made, and I could only guess that she was fighting off the last of her hindrances.  Letting them drop to the floor and pool around her feet, just like the blue dress that skated down her long body.  I could almost feel the confidence blooming and rolling off her.

She was stunning. Ivory skin lit by nothing but the moonlight. I couldn’t see her freckles from here, but I knew they were there and that they peppered the shoulders that Edward kissed. I knew her skin was like cotton to touch: soft, forgiving, and comforting.

He touched her like she was sacred, like some adored idol. He unhooked her bra and before letting that drop to floor too, he palmed her breasts and pulled her to his chest. Her eyes fluttered shut and she melted into him. When the bra fell to the floor, her stance changed. She held herself higher, prouder. And well she should be.

He lowered to his knees and inch by inch, dragged the last piece of clothing covering her body down her creamy legs. I licked my lips and tried like hell to keep from rubbing my legs together.

Bare, blushing, and utterly divine. She turned on him and began removing his clothing. Admittedly, I was much more interested in Isabella, but Edward was fucking gorgeous, and I was having trouble focusing. Skin everywhere, lips smacking, tongues moving together, and two of the most beautiful damned people I’d ever seen making delicate sounds. I’d never been that wet in my life.

My hands burned for their skin. I wanted so very badly to cross the room and touch the hard plains of Edward’s stomach and caress the curve of Bella’s hip. But this really wasn’t about me. It was for _her_. Something she needed.

Edward scooped Bella up and placed her bare and fucking perfect ass on the windowsill. She gasped and her body shuddered. Her head lolled back, and I heard a soft thud as it made contact with the window.

He spread her legs, and I couldn’t help but squirm. Bella must have heard the movement; her eyes opened and found my face. I bit my lip and watched as Edward lowered his face between her legs.

Moans and grunts filled the air, and I felt my skin flush. I felt like a fucking supernova, right on the brink of implosion. My hands balled into fists as her back arched and her hand reached down to touch herself.

She came with a loud cry, and I could see her legs shaking in the spill of moonlight from the window. Gently, Edward placed her on her feet and walked her to the bed, which was less than five feet from where I sat. My blood pushed and my body craved, but I sat still.

I watched Bella’s hands reach out to him, stroke him. He was glorious and so hard he looked as if he were in pain. “Give me your hands,” Edward said, not taking his eyes off her face.

He took both her wrists in his hand and stretched them up over her head. She lay there completely exposed and panting, and I was sure I’d never see anything so exquisite ever again. A sound, maybe a moan, might have slipped pasted my lips and they both turned to me. Edward wore sexy smirk and Isabella looked…understanding.

“It’s okay,” she whispered before offering me a gentle, but sexy smile. She was giving me permission to enjoy this. More than that, she needed me to find pleasure in it.

Edward went back to kissing her neck, her shoulders, still holding her wrists in one hand and caressing her with his free hand. His hand trailed down her ribs, past her hip, and hooked under her knee. He let it linger there a moment, tickling her sensitive skin, before pushing her knee back toward her head. She was spread wide open for him. Her body gave away every secret she ever held when she writhed beneath him.

He kissed her mouth, softly at first, and then with much more passion and want; like he wanted to consume her, pull her into him. His face pulled back, watching her, and then he pushed forward and entered her quickly.

Both Isabella and I let out a moan. Hers was no doubt one of pleasure; mine was something closer to pain, to need. My hand slipped between my legs and my finger dipped beneath the black lace of my completely destroyed and rather expensive panties.

I pushed when he pushed, moaned when the sensation became too much for me, and watched in awe as two bodies took what they needed from other.

Bella’s head tilted back and her hips pushed forward, meeting him, matching him thrust for thrust, push for pull. A smile ignited on Edward’s face and he pulled her up on to his lap. Her throaty cry made me move my own fingers faster. She was close, he knew it, and I knew it.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rode him hard, half screaming, half whispering pretty little prayers. A soft giggle left her lips and she threw her head back as her orgasm rocked through her body.

The night didn’t offer much light, but I could see her closed eyes and the thin layer of sweat covering her. I could see the gentle, satisfied smile pinned to her gorgeous face.

My own orgasm came on like a slow burn.

**~eik~**

**EPOV**

There was a moment, seconds before she came in my arms, where I felt something shift and give way. Like something being cut loose. Looking at her face, eyes closed, and a triumphant smile painted on her kissed red lips, I knew what it was. In that moment the connection between us, the things that held us together, became absolute. I felt each string stitch its way into my heart and tether me to her. Thick ribbons ran between us, joining our hearts and our souls like fucking concrete. And it was all because she’d finally let that last thin and tenuous straw from her past snap like a twig. All of those ties, past and present, now belonged to me. Every inadequacy she’d been made feel over the years finally cut loose. Every time she looked down at her body and wondered if she wasn’t sexy enough, wasn’t wanted or lusted after, snipped and floated off with rest of her past. She fully owned her body.

 

There was nothing holding her to Michael and the woman she’d become with him. She was wholly and completely Isabella Marie-soon-to-be-Cullen.  She finally felt safe, solid, and secure right where she was, in my arms. I knew she never felt that way with Michael. When she’d conjured this fantasy in the past, Mike wasn’t the one hovering over, sharing the moment. It was some faceless man, someone else giving her a safe place to be and to feel. To be adored and lusted after was what she wanted. I adored her, worshiped her, and desired her. And Molly, Molly’s lust was fucking palpable.  Molly wasn’t a threat, she was a witness—someone to watch the last layers break away, someone who stood outside our little bubble but still plainly felt the adoration and well built trust between us.

The way Isabella moved against me told me she felt confident in her own sexuality. Aplomb was running thick in her veins now and coating her skin. She’d grown and changed in slight and subtle ways since we’d met. Slowly crawling out of her skin, shedding her past, now she was shiny and new and losing control in my arms.

I silently thanked Molly for her part in pushing Isabella that last few inches and making my Bella whole again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So given the theme of the chapter, I thought it would appropriate to mention the writing contest I’m judging/hosting along with GossipLips and JandMsMommy. Public Lovin’ Twilight Fanfiction Writing Contest is all about those taboo, steamy, out in the open lemons. I’d put the link in, but links suck on FFN, so just type that shit in your search engine. We can be followed on Twitter as well. So pull on your pervy panties and go write me smut! 
> 
> Some of you were terrified that Molly would steal Edward. No, no kittens. She was just for play. No worries.


	36. A Thin Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Don’t own it. Yup, that’s my disclaimer, deal.   
> This is it kiddies. The last chapter. There will be one epilogue and more than likely an out take or two. But we’re at the end of the line. Deep breath and read...

**Chapter 35**

**~eik~**

**A Thin Line**

**BPOV**

I’d asked Edward to stop at Walgreens on the way into Forks for a few basics: milk, eggs, and toilet cleaner, blue pens…a pregnancy test. Of course I left that off the list and went all ninja sneaky when I brought the blue and white box up to my bathroom.

The door clicked closed and the sound was so loud I jumped. Sliding down the door to the cool tile of the floor, I gripped that box in my shaking hands. You’d think that after years of trying to get pregnant, and facing the very real possibility that it _might_ actually be the case _this time_ , fear wouldn’t be on the menu, right?

But that was exactly what held me in my place—fear. I’d been through this so many times, and so many times I’d been disappointed, crushed.  Having that thin little line slice into me again, like it had so many times before, was terrifying.

The worst part was I’d already begun to get my hopes up. I already started to feel like this was something I could have and moreover fucking _deserved_. I hated hope sometimes because when she let you down, she could be a terrible bitch.

I read the instructions like I wasn’t an old hand at it, and I studied the lettering carefully, looking for flaws in the print. I must have been in there much longer than I thought, staring down at the little cardboard box of hope, because Edward’s voice came through the door.

“Isabella, are you okay? You didn’t fall asleep in there did you?” I knew he was trying to play off his concern with a joke, but I could hear it in his voice.

I stood up, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

“You’ve been in here or a good twenty minutes and I didn’t hear…” his eyes dropped to the box in my clutches.

“Stay here with me?” I begged, tears pouring down my face.

“Why didn’t you say something…if you thought…?” He pushed my hair behind my ear and cupped my face. “You look terrified.”

“I hate these things,” I said through a choking sob. I looked back down at the test and suddenly the box felt as though it weighed forty pounds.

He backed me up, his hands on my waist, holding firmly. “How late are you?”

“A week a least, maybe more. My periods are such a mess. It might be two…”  I shook my head.

Without a word he took the box from my hand, opened it, set it on the countertop, and walked me toward the toilet.

“Don’t leave,” I whispered as he handed me the white stick.

“Wasn’t planning on it.” He pushed himself up on the counter and stared at the shower curtain.

Peeing with someone in the room wasn’t an easy thing to do, but the thought of him leaving this room was more than I could handle in the moment, and I wasn’t afraid to admit it. My hands shook so violently I almost dropped the stick in the toilet before putting the cap back on and gingerly setting it down next to the sink. I eyeballed it like it was some sort of ticking time bomb as I washed my hands.

Edward was still staring straight ahead, not blinking, and I began to wonder if he was in some kind shock. “Jesus fucking…you know you’re not allowed to lose your shit, right? You’re supposed to be all solid and when I flip _my_ lid. You’re supposed to be the one to pick me up off the floor, so zip up the paranoia and get with the program.” I poked his shoulder and then crossed my arms across my chest.

“I’m not…No, Bella, I’m not scared of what that pee stick might say.” He ran his hand through his hair and locked eyes with me. “Wow that was a whole lot of bitchy right there, lovely.”

“No changing the subject. You checked out,” I accused.

“No…well kind of. I was picturing you with a big, round belly.” He sort of sounded embarrassed about admitting that, and I cocked my head hoping to get a little more information from him.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve pictured you pregnant. God, you’d look so beautiful, a little puffy but easily the most glorious fucking creature I’ve ever seen.”

“You’ve thought about this?”

“All the time. How could I not, Isabella?”

Tears pooled in my eyes once again, and warm salty streams flowed down my face. Years with Mike as a husband taught me not to expect much in the way of physical affection or sexual pleasure. But being with Edward changed all of that.  Years of negative tests taught me not to put too much on the line; it taught me hope was something that others could afford, but the price for me was too high. Edward’s dreams of me carrying his baby killed me. I wanted nothing more than to be the mother of his child. I was so overwhelmed by the notion that sobbing was my only option.

 He pulled on my wrist, and I nestled myself between his thighs, allowing him to wrap his arms around me and hold me to him. Tears stained and saturated his light grey sweater. I lost myself in his smell, his heat, and his comforting embrace.

“Isabella?” Edward’s hand cupped my chin and brought my eyes to his. “Are you ready?”

I nodded and together we looked down on the white plastic stick that stuck out in harsh contrast to the dark counter. “Pregnant” the tiny window read.

My knees buckled.

“Shit,” Edward muttered as he caught me. He slid off the counter and folded to the floor with me, and right there in his arms I dissolved into deep, heavy sobs.

For as much as I wanted it, a tiny piece of me told me not to hold my breath, not to wish _too_ hard. That part of me imploded and left me dizzy and so overwhelmed I could hardly form words.

Kisses peppered my hair, my shoulders, and my neck. Edward brought our hands together, holding them in a death grip and kissed each of my knuckles. Whispered words filtered through my sobs, and I tried to focus on his voice and calm myself.

“You’re going to have my baby,” I heard him mumble between kisses. I looked up to him and his moss green eyes were swimming in tears, an uncontrollable smile stitched across his face. He’d never looked so soft, so open, and so happy before.

He whispered it again, his lips running across my forehead. I chuckled weakly and sat up a little straighter.

“I’m sorry I lost my shit there,” I said, wiping makeup mixed tears from my face. I laced my fingers through his and placed a gentle peck on the back of his hand.

“You didn’t…maybe a little.” Edward shook his head and smiled again. “It’s kind of…overwhelming, but in such a good fucking way. I can’t believe…there’s a baby in there… we made…” His voice cut out and a fresh wave of tears spilled over his cheeks and dripped off his chin.

Before I could utter a single word, his lips were on mine—insistent, heavy. I could taste the salt of our tears mixing and blending with that Edward flavour that always made me lightheaded. Edward pulled me up onto his lap, his hands cupping my ass, as he devoured my mouth.

_A girl could forget her name being kissed like this._

When his hands slipped up my sides and tickled the sides of my breasts, I let out a quiet moan, and I might have moved against him…just a little.

His erection grew and so did the noises between us. Quiet moans to loud, whining sounds of pure need.

I pulled my sweatshirt over my head and closed my eyes while Edward buried his face in my chest, slow tears still trickling down our faces.

I saw it all in that moment. My belly growing, a tiny bundle cradled in Edward’s arms, and a small bronze haired boy running from me in the back yard. I saw a small but happy family cuddled together on the couch reading a book. I saw what I thought I could never have. And now here it was, real, tiny, and vulnerable growing inside me.

_Overwhelmed_ didn’t even began to touch the cavalcade of feelings that flowed through me.

Suddenly, I was being whisked away from the cold bathroom floor to the soft, cool comfort of my bed. Edward placed me in the centre of the mattress so gently I wanted to laugh, and he stood at my feet looking down at me. He reached out with shaky hands and unzipped my skinny jeans. Tugging as carefully as he could, he cursed. “I fucking hate these things sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, they look amazing on you…your ass—”

“Get on with it, Cullen!” I scolded, frowning at him.

“Just saying,” he said with a chuckle and a sly wink.

_That right there is what started it all. That hot as hell smirk that implies sex and lust and depravity, and it practically knocked me on my ass the first time I saw it._  A cocky little smile of my own bloomed when I thought of where that fall had landed me.

With my jeans finally peeled off and discarded somewhere on the floor, Edward hovered over me. Wet, open mouth kisses were placed over my bra clad breasts, my sternum, and then my ribs. His breath tickled me and goosebumps sprouted all over my body. When his kisses stopped, I pulled up on my elbows and looked down at him.

He sat between my knees, staring at my flat tummy. Slowly, he brought his face to my belly button; warm breath washed over my skin and I grinned.

“I love you,” he said in a hushed tone that was so honest and sweet, my throat closed up a little. His eyes never left my belly as he kissed back and forth from hip to hip. His fingers gently grazed my stomach, and he whispered his love again.

Our bodies tangled together as we kissed at a slow, lazy pace. Fingers skipped and danced across warm skin and airy sounds filled the room. 

Done with it all and needing him inside me, I took him in my hand and guided the tip to my entrance. “Go slow,” I said, pulling him down for a kiss.

He pushed forward and my blood rushed hot and grew thick. My heart beat in sluggish thumps that struck like a wrecking ball against my ribs, making every inhale feel like breathing through water. It wasn’t unpleasant, it was heavy. Every movement of his hips felt weighted. His strokes were so measured that it burned me from inside. I wanted to hold on to that burn, that consuming feeling for as long as I could.

He pushed and I sighed; he pulled back and I gripped the sheets waiting for him to give me his weight. I shifted underneath him, and he drove in further making my belly boil and my lungs hollow out. I sucked at the air and moaned when his hand palmed my breasts and his fingers bit into my hip.

He drew lazy circles with his hips, and I continued to burn and roll in the fire he started.  My nails raked across his flesh and sometimes I heard a hiss, sometimes a whimper. Mostly I heard tiny prayers and confession against my sex damp skin.

Every slide of his cock made me want and need that much more. More weight, more pressure, more friction, more salty skin. I wanted nothing more than to fold into him and get lost in his skin. A part of him was already growing deep inside me, but it wasn’t enough.   “Deeper,” I begged, not actually thinking he could get much deeper. He shifted our positions until both my legs were slung over each of his shoulders and he pressed me further into the mattress.

I cried out, biting at my lips and clutching his sides as my body coiled and relaxed with each push and pull. Each movement brought me closer to release. I loved the feeling of his body moving against mine and guiding me to pleasure.

“That’s it, love. God, you’re so beautiful.” He pushed and stroked and slid until his body could no longer take the heat and he came calling my name.

 

**~eik~**

“When did you know? Or think…” he said as he played connect the dots with my freckles.

I sat up in bed and turned to my side, running my fingertips over his naked chest. “I almost heaved over pumpkin guts the other night.” I shook my head and wondered why I didn’t put those glaringly obvious puzzle pieces together sooner.

“Pumpkin guts?” He cocked an eyebrow at me.

“Hmm, Alice brought pumpkins for us to carve and as soon as she opened hers up, I nearly lost my lunch,” I explained. “I didn’t think anything of it really, but Rose immediately jumped on the preggo train and wanted me to take a test.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Years of them being negative. I didn’t think it was really possible, but Rosalie kind of barked at me. Reminded me that I was never told it was impossible, just not likely. I let _“not likely”_ twist and warp until it became _impossible_.”

“Easy enough to do after what you’d been through,” Edward said, capturing my fingers and holding them to his heart.

I wanted to whip out a bull horn and run screaming down the streets that I was pregnant. I wanted to call everyone I knew, everyone that stood by my side and offered me comfort when a negative test crushed my dreams of motherhood.  But the cautious side of me, the side that barely believed what was happening, told me to keep my big mouth shut.

After talking to Edward about it, we decided first and foremost I needed to get blood work done to confirm the positive test. Waiting would be difficult, but in the end we decided we wouldn’t break the baby news until I was safely past my first trimester. Edward, being the over logical neeny that he was, reminded me that there was obviously complications with the contraception process, which meant a slightly higher likelihood of miscarriage. So I agreed to keep my trap firmly shut. 

We agreed that if we could get my mother and Phil down for a visit in the New Year, we’d use that as an excuse to have a dinner party with all of our parents and spring the news on them then.

We spent a good hour contemplating the reactions of our parents. He joked that Charlie might just pull a shotgun on him, but he and I knew well and good that no such scene would play out. Charlie was nearly as heartbroken as I was every time a procedure failed. He’d winced at the sight of the needles and let out heavyhearted sighs anytime I mentioned plans for a nursery that never was. Charlie would be beside himself.

I could practically hear the high pitched, happy laughter that would pour from my mother and the elated looks on their faces. It would be a moment neither one of us would forget.  Lost in thought, I felt a tapping on my tummy, and I turned to see Edward regarding me like something precious. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen that look on his face, but was the first time I really felt like it.

“Your stomach is talking. It’s been growling like a rabid beast for the last ten minutes now. How do you not hear that?” he said as he leaned in to kiss the tip of my nose.

“A lot on my mind, I guess.” I shrugged.

“A lot to think about.” His voice sounded so introspective.

 “Put some pants on and I’ll make us some pasta,” I said, rising from the bed and tossing one of Edward’s sweatshirts on.

“You don’t have pants on,” he teased. “But I’m good with that. Don’t change that.”

**~eik~**

**EPOV**

My too-big sweat shirt was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen her wear. The sleeves were too long, and as she stirred the pasta sauce, she pushed them up, bunching at the elbows. The thing barely covered her naked ass, and when she stretched to reach the garlic on the shelf it rose up, exposing her creamy backside.

Everything about her was so fucking sublime: her long legs, her smooth skin, the curve of her ass. Perfect.

She moved around the kitchen, humming the tune “Oh What a Night” of all songs. Occasionally, her feet would drift a little in a cute little dance move and her face would light up like the forth of fucking July.  

Was she thinking about the child growing inside? Was that the cause of her smile? Because I’d been wearing a shit-eating grin all evening just thinking about the little jelly bean Bella had safe in her belly.

We sat at the table exchanging glances over bow-tie pasta. Sauce caught in the corner of her mouth, and I reached out and swiped the pad of my thumb over her lips. She nipped at my thumb with a playful grin, and I almost dropped my fork.

“Finished?” I asked.

She nodded her head and reached for my plate.

“No, no, pretty girl. You cooked, I clean.” I scooped both our plates before she could protest and made my way to the sink.

“I boiled water,” Bella said with a chuckle. She waltzed to the fridge and poured a glass of milk and leaned against the counter top next to me while the sink filled. “You know there’s a dishwasher, right?”

“It’s six dishes, hardly worth it.” I side-eyed her, picking up the silverware.

She shrugged and I scrubbed. Without much of a warning my mind meandered from the task at hand and instead shot me vivid pictures of soap bubbles slowly slipping and sliding down Bella’s body, leaving a wet path and goosebumps in their wake. Tiny, fluffy, white bubbles dissolved on her warm skin, turning to nothing but a trickle as they reached her hip bone.

“Just do it,” I heard Bella say, and I cocked my head toward her.

My brow raised in question.

“Whatever it is that’s caused that look right there…” she twirled her finger in the air, pointing at my face. “…just do it.”

I dropped the plate in the sink—slopping warm, sudsy water on my torso—and stepped to her, pinning her against the countertop. Her hot breath fanned across my face just before my mouth covered hers. One moan from her was all it took, and I was hard again.

My hands curled around strands of dark brown hair and gently pulled back so I could devour her neck. Her back bowed and she wrapped one leg around my upper thighs. My tongue snaked out and licked the pale, sensitive skin, following the vain to the spot behind her ear.

_She always loses it a little when I kiss her here_.   

Predictably, she whimpered and clutched my forearm, trying to raise herself up on the counter.

Taking that as my cue, I put my hands under her butt and hoisted her up, settling her down gently. Her hands wove into my hair as we kissed, and mine tickled the length of her thighs. She clutched the crown of my head and began to push me down, spreading her legs. I looked up at her through my lashes, and the dark twinkle in her eye had me chuckling.

I made sure she came good and hard before I scooped her up off the counter and walked into the living room. She swung her feet as I cradled her to my chest, her cheeks all flushed and her forehead a little damp with sweat.

I placed her on the couch and watched as her body stretched out. She still had my sweatshirt on and as fuck hot as it was, it needed to go. I needed her skin, all of it.

“Lose the pants and I’ll chuck the sweater,” she said as if she heard my thoughts.

I tugged the sleep pants off and groaned when Isabella’s hand reached for me. She stroked me with a firm grip, never taking her eyes off my face. I pulled away from her and motioned for her to take off the sweat shirt. It dropped to the floor, and she lay out along the length of the couch again, propping one leg up. 

I lowered myself over her, and I could feel how wet she was. My cock ached to be buried inside her, to be home, warm and nestled in her heat. I didn’t think I had the restraint to go slow again if she asked. Nearly every part of me wanted to fuck her senseless. I kissed her hard, biting on her lip before pushing forward and finally sliding home.

“Fuck!” she grunted and it spurred me on.

The sound of damp skin slapping and the squeaking protests of the furniture drove me faster. Each time our hips met and crashed, she swore and I groaned. She fondled her beautiful breasts and played with her dark pink nipples while I gripped the armrest behind her, my knuckles straining against my skin with the force.

Her small but sharp little heels dug into my ass and pushed me forward. It wasn’t enough. I sat up and motioned for her to stand up and turn around. Standing with her back facing me, she wiggled her ass. I reached out and clutched her hips, drawing her down on my lap. She teased me, rubbing her ass against my shaft and then pulled up on her toes, reached down with one hand and guided me into her. Immediately she let out a loud, throaty cry and began bouncing on my lap.

“Oh shit…” I stuttered as she pushed down and ground her ass into me, her hips moving in heavy, full circles.

My grasp on her hips would surely leave marks, not that she ever cared.

She threw her head back and her dark hair gently whipped across my face and naked chest. Sweat had coated both our bodies and the slide of skin on skin was hypnotizing. She peeked over her shoulder at me and winked. That wink was full of evil intentions and I fucking knew it. She dropped back down on me hard and began riding me in earnest. Her hands took mine and placed them where she wanted them: one cuddling her breast, the other at her oh so fucking wet heat. My finger danced over her clit, and her little fingers dug into the flesh of my thighs.

Her body slapped against mine in a relentless rhythm and within seconds of each other we fell off the edge, both panting, screaming, and clawing at each other.

The woman in my lap had, in such a short period of time, become everything my world was meant to be. Everything was growing, shifting, and changing in the most amazing ways, and the very thought of what tomorrow might look like with this creature beside me excited me. She’d stumbled into my world, rather literally, and wrapped herself around me in every way. Everything I knew of life and love had changed because of her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that’s all flove bunnies. Up next is the epilogue. If you have any thoughts on out takes, I’d be glad to hear them, I’m sure there’ll be a couple.   
> I love the shit out of each and every one of you. Thanks for reading, and I’ll try to get you the epilogue ASAP, okay lovelies?   
> I know I say it all the time, but I LOVE YOU MAX!!!


	37. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Disclaimer and all that good time shit: I don’t own Twilight, no infringement intended.*  
> So instead of leaving my parting notes here, I’ll let you get to it and catch ya at the bottom.

Everything I Knew

~*~

**Epilogue**

**BPOV**

I sat in my office, copying client flies for Rose to give to Shannon, who bravely applied for the opening my maternity leave offered. I looked around the space and thought about how very much everything had changed in the last nine months, least of which was my body. My last name had changed, and the new title of wife came with it. My home had also changed.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Kellan,” Edward had said with a friendly smile.

“Afternoon? Christ where’d my morning go? Come in, come in.” The aging landlord opened the door wider and shuffled out of the way.  “So what can I do for you today, Dr. Cullen?” she had asked, turning to face us.

“Well…” Edward began.

“Oh no, you’re not gonna do this to me, are you?” She looked between Edward and me. “You are. You’re going to ask me to let you out of the lease early?” She tsk’ed and wagged her head.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Kellen, but—”

“She’s pregnant isn’t she?” Her eyes shifted to me and narrowed and then gave me the once over before returning to Edward. “Pregnant,” she had said with confidence and nodded her head once.

I had looked to him and then to the feisty woman in front of me. Edward had shrugged and grinned at her. Her hand, knotted with arthritis and wrinkled with age, had reached up and pat his cheek in a very grandmotherly like gesture. “Just because I like ya, kid, I’ll break your lease. No penalty, no worries.”

Two weeks later Edward had moved in and two days after that work began on the nursery. His belongings didn’t march on in and take over my house, they became part of it. Furniture looked a little more eclectic, but not a single thing looked out of place. The house became a warm blend of _us_ , and I looked forward to coming home to it every day. The sight of his chair next to my sofa made me smile every time.

Considering the condition I would be in April —eight months of round belly and swollen to hell ankles— we decided to move up the wedding. I officially became Isabella Marie Cullen December 1, 2012.

Looking at the picture that stood proudly on my desk, I grew a little weepy. As cliché as it was to say, it was easily the happiest day of my life. I’d never smiled so much and felt so light and whole. We’d danced in our own little bubble until the wee hours of the morning and then spent a wonderful week under the sun in Greece.

“One peppermint tea…” Angela’s voice pulled me from my wedding night reverie.

With a blush, I turned to her. “Thanks,” I said, taking the cup from her.

Angela took the afternoon off to help me pack up my office.

“So that’s it,” I said, dropping the last file on to the flash drive I’d created for Shannon. “Everything she needs to know about the kids programs, IEPs, parent conferences, it’s all there.” I unplugged the drive and slipped it into my pocket. We’d be stopping by Rose’s office on our way out and I could deliver it then. She wanted to sit down with Shannon and go over the more important details of some of the more intense behaviour protocols she’d be dealing with in my absence. I had every confidence that Shannon would do well in this position.

We sorted through my supplies and reference books and packed them in cardboard boxes.

“There, that’s it. All packed,” Ang declared.

“Right, then let’s bring this stuff to Rose and maybe go get some cheesecake…and licorice,” I said, patting my very round tummy.

“Right…and chocolate milk and Fuzzy Peaches and that lemon lime tea and—”

“Shut up. You were no better.”

Angela handed me my purse and scooped the book off the desk. “Careful,” I warned, “it’s heavy.”

“Don’t worry, Mama Cullen. I got this.”

We walked into Rosie’s office just as she was finishing a follow up on an incident report that involved our little Deanna. It didn’t take very long for the honeymoon period to come to quick halt. Cute little Deanna was most certainly a biter, and she did in fact have thing for smearing poop. Shannon had her hands full with her and the behaviours that had steadily emerged since the beginning of the school year.

“Bite?” I asked.

“Yeah, and a hair pull,” she answered. “So you’re all packed up?”

“Yes. Here…this is for Shannon. These files are the same ones that are on my computer, but I have copies at home, so I thought she’d like them for herself. Blank templates for Acquisition Programs, progress notes and new protocols are on there too,” I explained. It was always a pain in the ass when you sat down at home to work on a new program and realized you didn’t have a blank template to work with.

“So thoughtful,” she joked. “What’s the plan for the rest of the day?”

“Cheesecake,” I purred and Ang and Rose laughed.

“Well you go get your snack on, little mama, and I’ll see you this weekend?”Rose said, referring to the BBQ Emmett was dead set on.

“Yup. Oh… what do you want me to bring?” I knew what she was going to say, but I hated not asking.

“Just you, pretty mama.”

“You know I have a husband I can torture with this shit, right? So if you want me to bring something, tell me. Edward’s not inept in the kitchen.”

“Chips, nachos, actually,” she said, giving me a smart assed grin. “And you’re still bringing that bean dip right?” She flipped her eyes to Angela.

Ang smiled and nodded.

“She gets to bring real food,” I pouted.

“Shut it, Cullen,” Rose snickered at me. “Get this woman some cheesecake, will ya?”

I chuckled and began to rise from the not so comfy office chair when I felt something kind of pop.  “Oh…”

“What? Forget something?” Ang asked.

I looked down at my lap and the now slightly soggy chair. “Noooo, I…”

“Holy shit, sunshine, your water broke!” Ang exclaimed with a giant grin on her face.

“Holy crap, really?” Rose moved around the desk and looked at the wet spot on her chair. Her lip rolled up, looking a little disgusted.

“Sorry,” I whined, holding on to Rosie’s hands.

“Sorry, for what? The chair? It was gross anyway. Now I have an excuse to chuck it.” She shook her head. “Ang, call Edward and tell him we’re headed to the hospital. You can leave that shit here,” she said, pointing to the box on the corner of her desk.

“On it,” Angela said as she scooped our purses into her arms and shuffled through the door with us.

“You know what this means, Bella Bunny?” Rose asked, holding my hand as we made our way to the front of the building.

“No cheesecake,” I cried.

**~eik~**

“You’re mother and Phil are on standby,” Esme’s soothing voice said as she wiped sweat from my forehead and cupped my hand.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

“More ice?” Edward asked, looking so undone and worried. I just wanted to wrap him up in my arms and tell him it would be okay, but the four hours of labour and utter exhaustion prevented me saying such a thing.

Every time a contraction ripped through me, I was sure my insides were spilling all over the floor. I’d fully intended on being jacked up on any pain relief they could offer me, but as it turned out, I had a reaction to the epidural and they had to remove it immediately. So I was doing this old school, and I was not happy about it.

“Just a cold cloth,” I answered.

The small hiatus between contractions —a mere eight minutes now— was not nearly enough time for me to gain any amount of comfort, and that too was pissing me off. I now understood how my beautiful friend had turned evil during the birth of her son.

Edward lovingly draped one folded over facecloth across my forehead and then another larger cloth across my upper chest in an effort to cool my body and comfort me.

“So since we’re here, you might as well tell me the names you’ve picked,” Esme said, hoping to prompt us into giving up the baby names.

“Not a chance lady,” I barked with a laugh. “I’ll have to wait until the jelly bean makes an appearance.” She huffed and sat back in her chair.

Edward had taken to calling me “Jelly Belly” when I began to show, and the baby naturally became Jelly Bean. It was endearing and so very much Edward. He doted on me throughout the entire pregnancy. Happily waking in the middle of the night to massage my achy back because I couldn’t sleep or running to the store to pick up whatever craving I was tackling at the time. We quickly learned that pumpkin wasn’t the only scent I couldn’t handle. The smell of coffee creamer sent me careening for the bathroom more than once. Midway through my second trimester, I was still baffled as to why they called it “Morning Sickness”. That shit was sneaky and would creep up on me whenever it damn well pleased.

Edward, in a level headed moment, thought to bring in the iPod and dock. He cued it up, and the soft strums of a guitar filled the room.

_Still one of my favourite songs. Ever._

_She never mentions the word addiction_  
In certain company   
Yes, she'll tell you she's an orphan   
After you meet her family   
  
She paints her eyes as black as night now   
Pulls those shades down tight   
Yeah she gives a smile when the pain comes   
The pain gonna make everything alright 

The next contraction hit sooner than I expected, and it turned my singing into a steady building scream.

“I swear your kid is trying to chew its way through!” I growled as I gripped Edward’s hand.

“She does it too,” he said, turning to his mother. “Do all women do that when their children do something they don’t like? Disown them like that?” He shook his head and smiled at me. “Breath, kitten. You can do this.”

“Screw you, Cullen.”

“Feelin’ feisty, mama?” he said, ducking to kiss my nose.

Suddenly annoyed with the sensation of the clothes on me, I flung them both and tried to breathe through the pain. I felt it ebb slowly and I looked at the monitor.

“Good. You did good.”

“That wasn’t eight minutes,” I huffed, trying to find a comfortable position.

He walked over to read out pouring from the monitor and looked it over, then at his watch. “Nope it wasn’t. It was six. They’re getting closer together.”

“Fantastic,” I groaned, letting my lip curl up in a snarl.

“You hate me right now, don’t you?”

“A little bit.”

“I threatened to remove your father’s balls with my bare hands. The hate is fleeting, but in the moment it’s kind of real,” Esme commented as she fluffed my pillows.

Two hours later and the contractions slowly got closer together, which was both good and bad. Good because it meant that we were that much closer to meeting our Jelly Bean, bad in that it fucking hurt and more contractions meant more pain. I chose to focus on all the good the pain would bring.

_“It’s perfect,” I said, stepping into the finished nursery. Deep chocolate and a thick grassy green dominated the room. The crib sat perfectly in the light of the window._

“What do you mean I haven’t progressed?” I asked as the doctor removed his gloves and tossed them into the waste basket.

“Isabella, you’re stuck at eight centimeters. You’re cervix hasn’t dilated at all in the last two hours. It’s not uncommon for your first child,” he explained, looking at all the information in my chart. “So I’d like to try a few things to get the ball rolling again, okay?”

Edward and I shared a quick glance and looked back at the doctor. I nodded.

“First let’s try getting you up and moving. Maybe walk up and down the halls a few times and then a nice bath to relax your muscles.” He pat my knee and then looked to the nurse caring for me before leaving the room.

“Walking? Is he serious?” I shot an incredulous look at Fanny, my nurse, and she chortled.

“Afraid so, Bella.”

I hated her right then. I thought we’d built a pretty solid rapport, that we were in this together. Traitor.

Fanny moved to the side of my bed, toyed with the remote a little, and then assisted me to stand. She traded off positions with Esme, and Edward took my left side. Together the three of us waddled down the maternity ward’s colourful corridor. With contractions about five minutes apart, it could be interesting.

_“That’s it? That’s the baby?” Edward asked the technician as the fuzzy image appeared on the screen. A tiny flutter in the centre told me we were seeing the beating heart of our child nestled safe in my belly. Tears streamed down my face, and I reached out to touch the screen._

_“Yes. That’s your baby. Want to hear the heartbeat?” she asked, fidgeting with a few knobs and buttons on the ultrasound machine._

_“It’s so fast,” I said, listing to the hummingbird beat._

_“It’s perfect,” the technician replied. “Let’s get you a picture.”_

“Oh, for the love of peanut butter!” I shouted as another contraction came at me. My knees buckled a little under the pressure of it, and I felt the need to lean forward. Esme came in front and held my hands while Edward rubbed my back in slow, soothing circles.

We were on our second circuit of the maternity ward, and I was truly beginning to think that Dr. Gerandy had lost his ever loving fucking mind. My mother and Phil still weren’t there, and according to the update Carlisle gave, they wouldn’t be landing in Washington for another hour and a half. Emmett and Rose would be picking them up from the airport, but there was still a decent drive to the hospital.

Fanny rounded the corner and did a quick check of my vitals and then suggested I head back to my room and she would fill a tub for me. It sounded so inviting, warm water surrounding me and taking the weight off my back, if only for a short time. I nodded and let Edward guide me back to my labouring room.

Once the tub was full, Edward helped lower my naked swollen body into water. A contraction hit just as my body slipped under and for a quick second I panicked and tried to get out of the tub. Fanny reassured me that I was safe in the water and if I wanted to, and was comfortable with it, I could in fact deliver in the water with no harm to the baby at all. Her clam tone and soft hands relaxed me and took away my fear.

“I’m going to get us something to eat,” Esme said, straightening herself. “Any requests?” She looked only at Edward because she knew damn well I couldn’t eat a thing. But they needed to, and I understood that. I didn’t fucking like it, but I understood.

“Anything with a side of coffee,” he said, rubbing my damp hand.

As Esme began to trot out of the room I shouted, “Cheesecake, damn it!”

**~eik~**

_“Edward come here, you have to feel this,” I shouted from the bedroom, folded laundry forgotten on the floor._

_All the little flutters I’d felt inside me until now were tiny and easily denied. But that time, that was a sure and definite kick. My hand tapped my tummy and another kick came in response._

_“What? Is everything okay?” he asked as he made his way toward me._

_“No, it’s good. Feel.” I took his hand and placed it on my stomach hand waited. Nothing happened. “Listen, Jelly Bean, it’s way too early in your life to be making Mommy look silly.”_

_“You felt the baby move?” Edward asked._

_“Yeah, but it was a good kick this time. You’d be able to feel it.” I pushed his hand a little firmer and then tapped my belly again._

_Edward gasped and a smile exploded across his face. He dropped to his knees and cradled my belly. He tapped and the jelly bean kicked back. “Hey, kiddo, how’s it going in there?”_

_I couldn’t stop the tears that pooled in my eyes watching Edwards’s beautiful face._

“Well that’s more like it!” Dr. Gerandy said, pushing up and away from the tub side. “Well, Mrs. Cullen you can either jump back in bed, or if you are more comfortable in the water, we can refill the tub with some warm water?”

“So she’s dilated a little more,” Edward asked.

“Yes, nine centimeters. You can start pushing anytime now.”

I was suddenly wracked with nervousness. Nine months of odd cravings, morning sickness, and a crazy libido was leading to this moment, and I’d thought about it countless times but now it was here I was a more than a little scared. What if I couldn’t do this? What if I wasn’t strong enough?

Edward reached out his hand and took mine. “We can do this,” he said, his voice laced with both confidence and worry.  I nodded once and squeezed his firm hand. “You look comfortable in the tub. You were fucking miserable in that bed, so how ‘bout we stick out right here?”

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I think so.”

Fanny let the tub drain and then refilled it with warmer water as another contraction plowed into me making me pant and screech obscene things, all of which went ignored by everyone around me. Thankfully.

The bath was full and my contractions were coming so close together I barely had a moment to catch my breath. With each push I felt my body shifting, altering itself to allow the little human that had been using my bladder as a trampoline for the last month passage. “Mother of fucking pearl, that’s _not_ comfortable!” I shouted as the doctor checked and did whatever the hell it was he was doing down there. _Why the hell do his hands need to be all up in my poor vagina right now? Can’t he see it’s busy!_

“Baby, please don’t scare the nice doctor away. Breath in…” Edward breathed in, I snorted, “…good. Now push, Jelly Belly. You can do this.”

I secured my grip on Edward’s hand and shifted my legs under the water. “I’d better get some amazing cheesecake, buddy!” I gritted my teeth and pushed with everything I was.

“The baby’s crowning,” Dr. Gerandy said, still playing down below.

Edward moved so that he could see what the doctor and Fanny were seeing. _Great! Everyone’s staring at my goodies._

“Esme, you want to get in on this? Everyone else seems to be enjoying the show.”

“No, Snarkella. I think seeing your vagina all bent out shape will only trigger flashbacks. So I’ll pass.”

_I woke up needing to pee, again, and found the bed next to me empty and cold. I walked down the hall and descended the few steps to the main floor of the house. Edward lay on the couch, instruction manuals piled on his chest and pieces of a beautiful mobile strewn across the coffee table. He’d already assembled the swing and the high chair, but sometime during the simple construction of the mobile, he’d fallen asleep._

_I picked the booklets up and placed them on the table and covered him with a soft fleece throw. Leaning down, I kissed his forehead and silently thanked him for all the little things he did for me every day that made this pregnancy easier._

_As I straightened and turned toward the stairs, I heard him whisper my name._

“Push, baby! You’re doing so good,” Edward encouraged, pulling wet hair away from my sweat covered face.

“One more good push, Bella, and your baby’s here,” Fanny said with a gentle smile.

My muscles were so very beyond exhausted and my lungs burned with effort. Tears pricked at my eyes at the mere thought of having to push again. I sucked in a lungful of hospital flavoured air, gripped my thighs, pulled back, and shoved until my body shook and my lungs gave out. My eyes were screwed shut a loud scream ripped from my mouth.

“Open your eyes, Bella! Look. Open your eyes!” Edward insisted.

My eyes flipped open with the sound of gentle gurgling. “It’s a girl,” Fanny announced as she moved the pink, kind of slimy little person onto my belly.

Looking down at her—thin, dark hair and big, round, confused eyes—my heart expanded. Just like the Grinch’s, it doubled in size. 

“She’s beautiful,” Fanny cooed. “Ready to cut the cord, Daddy?”

I watched as Edward severed the physical tie that’d been ours for nearly nine month. Tears streamed down my face as my fingers lightly swept over the annoyed little girl now crying on my stomach.

“I’m just going to steal her for a few minutes. Clean her up and give her the once over and then you can have her back, I promise,” Dr. Gerandy said, reaching for the baby.

I handed her to him and watched as he and another nurse looked her over. Ten fingers, ten toes, no horns, she looked simply perfect.

Once the nasty business of delivering the placenta was over with, I was cleaned up and helped into a cotton nightgown. Edward peppered me with kisses and I love yous every chance he got. He couldn’t stop smiling.

“Well, if you’re ready, Bella, there’s a mob of friends and family dying to meet your daughter,” Fanny said, one hand on the door, the other on her rounded hip.

“Grandparents first,” Edward said, looking to me for approval. I nodded and pushed myself up in bed, watching as Edward cradled our daughter.

“So did it happen to you too?” I leaned toward him, peeking at her precious face.

“Did what happen?”

“Did your heart double in size when you saw her?”

His eyes misted over and blinked. “It feels like…like it’s exposed. Beating outside my chest. Beating right here in my arms. And it’s so full, so heavy right now. But in the best way.” With a quivering chin, he tipped his head forward and kissed me softly on the cheek.

The door swung open and Renee piled in followed by Esme, Charlie, Carlisle, Phil, and lastly Sue. Sue hovered around the door looking unsure.

“Don’t you want to meet your first grandbaby, Sue?” Edward said.

A smile bloomed across her face and she took her place next to Charlie, squeezing his hand.

Edward turned the baby toward them all and announced in a proud, but slightly shaky voice, “May I introduce you to my daughter, Nora Leigh-Anne Cullen.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> END NOTES:  
> Okay flove bunnies, that’s that.   
> Thank Yous: StellaBlueBella, who pre-read until she had to go and have a baby, you’re amazing! Thank you for the pimpage and all the help pulling my thoughts together. Can’t wait to work with you again.  
> Maxipoo1024- The beta queen! To you, I bow! I owe this lovely bitch a lot of sloppy kisses and maybe a grope or two for all the work she did on this story. Always there with wise words and guidance. She worked over my smudges and made each chapter sparkle. THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!  
> Nikkipattinson, my Twilighted.net beta. Your swiftness is remarkable. Thank you oodles!  
> Kate V- A good friend and civilian— for lack of a better term. She sat with me in movie theatres and listened to me moan about my shitty existence. She’s poured over pages looking for missing words, and encouraged deep breathes when the need to throw things became too much. I love you!  
> Two years ago when I learned the truth about my husband my best friend Christina said to me, “I’ll give you two options. Either you start seeing a therapist or you write it out. ‘Cause he fucked you up and I want my Jen back. Choice is yours.”   
> I flounced the therapist idea and took pen to paper. Best fucking therapy EVER. I’ve learned so much about myself over this course of this story, and I’m so grateful to each and every one of you that read this.   
> Each chapter was laced with tiny truths from my own life to keep the experience honest for me. Sometimes I shared those facts with you, most times I did not. I can tell you that the last two chapters are pure fiction. Not single bit of it was drawn from my own life. I’m still waiting on my Edward and HEA, but I’m confident it’ll happen. And if I’m truly lucky those last chapters will be more of a life imitating art kinda thing.   
> Thanks oodles and watch out for my new stories. Not sure which one I’ll be posting first. After the Storm is a follow up to Building Storm (which I pulled to edit) and is pure smut. This Blood, These Wings is a supernatural romance and still in its early stages.  
> Later loverlies!  
> ~Jen

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you’re enjoying the read so far. Review, if you’re so inclined, I’d love to hear what you think. Hopefully you stick with me for the next leaching... so much more poison to rid myself of.


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